What’s Really Stopping You? - The Fear Beneath the Excuses and Why It’s Time to Move Anyway

Most people spend their entire life stressed without ever giving a single thought as to what it is they really want or what's important to them. See, I'm here to cut through all that noise connecting you to yourself and the life that you were meant to live. I used to slave away at a corporate job that I hated, but I broke through the social norms and pursued my passion. As a result, I own my own coffee company. I'm espresso sommelier, and I get to travel the world. You too can live a life that you love, but it starts with getting clear about what you want. It starts with a new decision. I'm your host, Donnie Rouse, and you are listening to the podcast One Life. Donny Rouse here. And today we are going to talk about what is really stopping you. So let me ask you that question. What is it that is really stopping you? Is it money? Is it lack of time? Or maybe it is the just the difficulty of the thing that you are looking to pursue. I'm not going to give you any conclusion or I'm not going to tell you exactly what it is, but rather I want to tell you a story. I want you to listen to the story and see how it applies to your life. Because I believe that once you actually listen to it and you really consider in the context of your own life, it is going to change how you feel definitely right now in this moment in terms of the goal that you're trying to achieve, but also it's going to spur you into action. And I want to give you the disclaimer front that it might even make you feel a little bit uncomfortable. Because anytime we have to come face to face with a fear that we may have, and often at time that fear is that we're not enough. So when we're bumping against that fear, it may seem a little bit scary, we may feel a little bit uneasy inside, but keep going because I promise you that gold is on the other side. So let me ask you that question again. What is it that is stopping you? The first thing that comes to your mind, I want you to just jot down and put on a piece of paper in front of you and then I'm going to tell you a story. Actually several scenes that pertain to this one topic. So last week, Starbucks Coffee had posted a position of a coffee coffee curator, or not a coffee curator, a coffee creative position where they would select one person from external to go around the world and create content for for coffee. And this would take you to both the, the growing regions of the coffee world, as well as the major cities in which Starbucks has their cafes. Friends of mine, including family members, all sent me this link. They're like, oh my God, this is perfect. You need to do this. This is like, made for you. When I saw the position, I was like, oh my God, that sounds freaking awesome. They were. The salary was from around 80,000 to $136,000. And essentially they pay, well, what you think is like, they pay you to be traveling the entire time. Don't think that is the case. Especially after I actually will tell you the entire process. So I was looking at that and people sent that to me and I had to think about it. I was like, well, that does sound like a pretty dream drama. The only downside is I would have to do it for Starbucks, right? Which their coffee, the way they produce and roast their coffees, very different from my ideology. But nevertheless, I could suspend my opinion there and I could subjectively or objectively kind of give my input. So I thought about it. I romanticized about what exactly that kind of position would look like for my life. It brought me back to some of my prior trips where I was traveling in Italy. When I was in Italy once for about a month, I was there and I was like, ah, right. I was. I was in Italy. I was sitting on Lake Como. And I remember feeling that I was just bored, feeling that I wanted to go back home. I wanted to feel productive. And then a different scene on one of my most recent trips, I was trying to. I brought my computer and I was trying to do some work. While I was there, I was like, oh, wait, no, I'll bring the computer. I'll sit at a cafe for a little bit. I'll do X, Y and Z and then I'll go out and explore it. That did not go over well at all. Because when I was sitting at that cafe, I didn't want to be there. I wanted to be out and exploring. So it kind of. I got the. To see what it felt like. One to travel for an extended period of time. Well, I've traveled longer than that before. But in this instance, traveling for a month and realizing that, you know what, I'm kind of bored. Like, I'm kind of tired of this. I want to go and do and build and be creative. And then the other side, I started, you know, I brought my computer because I was spending a month abroad again and I wanted to do some work. And I had such a challenge because I didn't want to be doing it. I was. I'M spending, you know, three to four days on average in a new city. The la. Why am I on a computer? I should be out there exploring, having a blast, exploring the coffee culture, making new friends, making new experiences. That is what I should be doing. Not sitting here on a computer and forcing myself to do something that I do not need to do. I did not need to be on my computer, but I was at this. I was trying to see what would it feel like. On the trip, I met some friends and who were working abroad and it was. I got to see from their eyes that it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. They're like, oh shit, man. I got to be back by 3, 3pm Because I have to work from like 3 to 2 o' clock in the morning. And then so I was like, okay, well you know what? Looking at this position now, rewinding and going back to the Starbucks position, I was like, maybe it's not all it is cracked up to be, right? And then looking at the job description, they talked about like going to the different cities, but you wouldn't just be traveling the entire time. There'd be some downtime back at home. But literally it was a 9 to 5. And then that's the other thing, that kind of thing. I'm like, do I really want to answer to somebody, somebody else and B, have to walk into that 9 to 5 versus having my control over my own schedule. So all these things are going back in my head. And then my sister kept texting me like, hey, are you gonna apply? Are you gonna apply? Make a video? So I felt a little bit, a little bit of that social pressure to make the video and submit the reel for the position. As I was doing this, I realized something. I was like, well, I'm creating this reel potentially to make coffee content for someone else. Why the hell don't I just do it for myself? This is something I've been saying that I've wanted to do for years now. Why don't I just do it for myself? That was the light bulb moment. It was like, because sometimes we wait for X in order to do Y, right? I'm like, oh, you know what? Once I have the perfect camera and I've tested it out and I've found someone to create my videos, then I'll start posting the content online. Then I'll make my course hobby videos. And what I realized when that was that I was just making excuses for myself, right? The real fear is that one it was going to be good enough. Nobody Would watch it. The truth is, is that it was actually pretty fascinating. So when I was making this reel to submit with the application for this position, I was doing it and I was like, oh, this is kind of fun. I started getting excited and into it because I was looking through all the videos that I had done from my. My last. My most recent coffee trips, mainly like Malaysia, Indonesia and Morocco. And I took clips from there and I put it into this, this like this kind of montage at the beginning of the video and then explained why I was the best candidate for this position. So after doing it and submitting it, the other reason I submitted it was because it put me under pressure. Like I was like, I need to get this thing in there. It wasn't because I wanted the position, but I'm like, I want to hold myself to show myself that I could do it in that am of time, because I had to be in by 12 o'. Clock. So I created the reel, submitted all the thing, and it was done. And again, the realization out of this was like, I don't need to freaking wait. I could just do this on my own. And as a result of this experience here, now my next trip is going to be either back to Vietnam so I can start creating this video, or I might go somewhere new, maybe Sri Lanka or maybe even India. I don't know. India is a little bit of a stretch because I mentally, I have to be prepared for that. But nevertheless, I reached out to one of my friends who is a video creator and we talked about doing coffee content. And I told him, I was like, hey, listen, let's talk about either Laos, Sri Lanka, India and I'll tell him Vietnam. So if he wants to do any of those, I'll do it. Otherwise I'll just film it myself. A few days after, I'm talking to one of my friends and with this lesson in mind, I was sharing with him because he was having some, he was having some, some, some challenges. And I challenged him. I said, well, tell me, you've been saying you want to travel Rome for, you know, you've been wanting to travel outside the country for literally as long as I've known you. Why haven't you? So he went into the like things like, well, or one of the other projects. Well, don't have the time or, you know, but time. He's in the middle of maybe even transitioning jobs, right? So time is something that he could probably find. He's taking time to go on other trips. He could find a week to do the trip that he wants so badly. Secondly, money. But, you know, but, but I don't have the money for it. It costs a lot of money. In the 10 years that we've been talking, maybe more than 10 years. If that was such an insatiable goal for him, could he have found the money to put aside to. Eventually not. It doesn't have to mean, like wanting to do a trip or wanting to start your YouTube channel or wanting to do anything for that matter. Doesn't mean you're going to go zero to 100 in one day. Doesn't mean you're going to get zero to 100 in one week. It doesn't mean you're going to get 0 to 100 in one year. It just means that you are going to start traveling down that path. So I brought that up and said, well, you know, money. I was like, well, isn't it true that you could have found a way to money? You could have found the way to money. I remember we were talking about YouTube content, and the reason why I was sharing it is because he also has aspirations to do a YouTube channel. And you say, well, but, yeah, but, you know, the, you know, what kind of. How much content can I create making one trip? I was like, well, let's think about that for a second. You go to Italy, right? How much content can you make on a trip to Italy? Just in Rome alone, you could be like, espresso in Rome. Top coffee shops, top drinks. I mean, there's a million videos you can do just by visiting that one city. And he's like, oh, you know, you're right. And helped me to realize it to myself because I was probably telling my own shitty story to myself. And then the last thing was like, it's just going to be too much work. Too much work is. That's. That's all it's gonna. It's just too much work. And then I called out, I was like, well, what isn't right? Anything you want is gonna require to work. So have you found what the real driver here, what the real fear was? What was preventing him from moving forward and deciding to pursue his dreams? Was it money? Was it finding the time? Was it the difficulty in creating the content? What is your answer? The truth is, it is fear. None of those. While they may be resources, none of those actually matter. What matters was him just taking the steps and moving forward towards that goal. And it could be just starting a YouTube channel, right? Like, taking that first step. That's all it requires. But the fear was that maybe he wouldn't be good enough. Maybe, you know, he would get there and it's the same. The reason why I know it so well is because I've spoken to enough people about especially people who want to experience, you know, traveling solo, travel and moving around the world. I've spoken to enough people where I know their number one fear. The number one fear is security. They're afraid of being alone. They're afraid of going to another country and not making any friends. They're afraid of going to another country and it not being safe. So I know what the fears are that are preventing people from going. And the reason I shared the story with him is there's something on the other side that if you just give yourself the ability to take the step, to break through that wall, to see what it's like on the other end, of course it's going to be fearful, like scary. But behind, beyond that, you're going to find something that you never would have imagined. And again, the reason I was sharing with the story because I know he has similar aspirations as I do, both in traveling the world as well as the content that we want to create, share with others, and then realizing what it was that was holding me back, help me shine that light on him so this way he can see what was really holding him back. Maybe that same thing that was holding us back is holding you back. So I want you to go back to that and think about, like, what is it really that is preventing you from moving forward in whatever desire that you have could be desire for the body, right? Desire for the trip, desire to start your own business, right? You can be like, oh my fitness. But I don't have the workout gear, I don't have the money to join an expensive gym. I don't have the money. All those things are just resources. Isn't it true that you could probably. I know some people who have nicer bodies than I do and all they do is push ups and pull ups. They don't even have. They don't even step foot into a gym. They go to the park and they do pull ups on a children's playground and they are ripped, right? So it doesn't require any of that. So what you have to do is just kind of get beyond the fear of failure, the fear of embarrassment, of not looking like you've got it all figured out and just step forward into the role that you know you were made for. And how do you know that you were made for the role? Because you want it, because it is a desire because it's something that's burning inside of you, means that you were meant to do that thing, you were meant to travel that path. And no, it doesn't matter what anyone says or thinks. The moment you decide to walk down that path is the moment you start embracing who you really are. Because you are becoming right where we, a lot of time we look at, we look out, we think that we have to start from the finish line when that's just not the case. You have to start with just that first step. The, the race gun fires off the first step. Because that first step is the only possible way you will ever get to the finish line. So I, I, I tell you this out of, you know, out of really, really sincere love for you because there's so much beyond the day to day fears, the routines that, and the worst thing that could possibly happen is for you to just get stuck in the routine. Because routine is, it's like encapsulates you, right? It's like a cocoon. It literally holds you there. And all of a sudden, anytime you have to break out of that routine, it's extremely scary. And you're like, oh my God, go out of the house and mean to some people, what if they don't like me? Or what if I, you know, just. Which is why, you know, like, turn that logical, burn that brain off. Introduce some novelty in your, in your, into your life. Surround yourself with people who encourage you, people who inspire you and connect to those driving desires and just start putting your feet in motion. Stop making excuses for yourself. And I promise your life is going to be drastically different than where it is right now. So that is all I've got for you. I hope you enjoyed this story. It was a big aha moment for me. As a result, I have like, you know, working on my YouTube channel as we speak tonight. Actually the, you know, the first two days of the week, I prioritize the things that I want to move forward. And one of those things for me is the coffee channel, because it just drives me that much. I love traveling, I love sharing that content. And then just the mere act of reflecting back on the content that I created from the trip just makes me feel like freaking excited. I'm like, oh my God, I cannot wait to get out there again and do this thing all over again. You owe it to yourself to do and put your focus on the things that light you up because that is your real path. That is the path that you were meant to go down. So find those desires. If you don't know what those desires are. Go put yourself in new environments and I promise you they will pop up. That is all I've got for you guys today. I hope you enjoyed this episode here. If you did, please give it a share. Also, if you would leave a review it would be tremendous help because one it lets me know that you are listening and you are liking the content because other ways otherwise I don't know that and sometimes I can get in my head and be like no one likes the content. Oh should I be creating. But seeing that it's like a self fulfilling prophecy, right? Just keeps the feedback loop going and as a result of knowing what resonates with you, it helps me create new episodes that will inspire you to and to give you the sight outside of your daily routine to focus on the things that are important and really matter in your life. Because guess what? Not a single day is guaranteed. And as a result, it is so critical to just While you know, it may be unreal to constantly live beyond that box, but to take steps and inch beyond that box of our fear. That's something doable. That's something every single one of us can do. So I hope this in some way inspires you to start moving towards one of those goals you have. And again, if you have any questions, you could send them to me via my website at www.donnyrouse.com d o n n y r a u s.com that is all I've got for you guys today. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Remember, you only get one life. Live fully, live passionately and most of all, live now. God bless you guys and I will see you again soon.