You Suck At Storytelling

Hi, guys. My name is Donnie Rouse, and you are listening to the podcast One Life. You suck at storytelling. Who is the worst storyteller? You know, to the point where if you heard these negative stories that you would say, you know what? I can't take another second of this crappy story. You got that name in mind? What if I told you that you were. Were that crappy storyteller? How do I know? Well, we are all crappy storytellers, and I will tell you exactly why. So if there's any gap in terms of what we want, we tend to create stories in our mind as to why we don't have it. In a lot of these stories, what they do is they take the focus and they put it somewhere else to say, I don't have this because of that circumstance, when the truth is, it's this story that's kind of controlling our life and giving us creating this illusion that we don't have it because of something, when it really comes down to ourselves maybe not being resourceful for it. And you want to know what's even worse than just telling ourselves bad stories? It's that a lot of the time that these stories that we're running over and over in our head aren't even ours. They come from our parents, our upbringing. They come from the television. So anything that you hear over and over and over again, you start to take as truth. In my business, I had this belief, this story, that if I were to grow my business, that it would lock me in. I would be stuck, it would be a prison. Is that true? Is it true that there are people who have businesses where they're managed by other people and they live lives of freedom? It's totally true. Do I know of any of those people? I do not. But it doesn't mean that it's not true, right? So we tend to look around us and we say, okay, well, this is the story that I'm believing. And then we look for reasons and, like, reinforcements, like things to reinforce that story that we created. And as a result, we point to it and say, you know what? Yeah, this is totally true. Look at that. And we point to the other people around us, say, you see, they don't have it, therefore it is true. When that's exactly what we're doing, is we're putting our focus somewhere and we're looking for reasons to back it up. But isn't it true the opposite? Can't you say, okay, now your focus then becomes. You create a better story and say, you know what? My Business is here to provide value and to give me freedom, a lifestyle that I enjoy, a lifestyle I deserve. So imagine yourself, for example. You're telling that story. What do you think your focus is going to be? Where do you think you're going to start looking and putting your energy? You're going to start looking for the resource, you're going to start looking for the tools to make that happen. As a result of that search, as a result of having a different story in your mind, you're going to see the people who are doing the very thing that you want versus having the other story that says that you're a prisoner. I'll give you another example of love, love life. And one of the things that I've been working in with my relationships, like my personal relationships, meaning finding a significant other, was this belief that the story, that women needed a. That I wasn't worthy enough if I didn't have, if I wasn't financially secure. This was a belief I had developed. And this is probably because when I was younger I remember hearing, you know what I. Funny, I know exactly the words are, but I'm having a hard time drawing them as I'm speaking on this. But something along the lines of like, no one would not, no one would want me because I don't have xy. Like I don't have a certain nominal amount of money and can't support him or whatever it was. That was where my focus goes. And it's actually, to be honest with you, that's where I still struggle with it. And I'll kind of go into something different at the, I'll kind of segue at the end of this story. But having that, that story playing over and over my mind, is that true? I know many instances in which it is not true. And case in point, I mean, I could give you my own parents. When they met, my father was working for an air conditioning company and they didn't have a lot of money. They were living in a small apartment in the COVID near my house now. And they built a life together. Another friend of mine, her parents were dirt broke. I mean, they had nothing, started with nothing, and they built a life together. So where is it true that I have this belief that I'm not going to find anyone until this part is, you know, I've achieved X in my finances? You know, when I say it to you, it sounds like it's like, yeah, dude, it's stupid. Donnie, what the heck do you believe? But look at where it's reinforced. So going back to What I said about the story, where do we pick up these stories? You look at TV and everyone says financial stress is one of the hardest things on a marriage. And I do believe, I mean, I do believe that financial stress is. But as long as I'm running that story, I'm never going to never experience it. I'm never going to find that person. Now the story going into that story. So the story changes when the context or the, when the environment changes. And another way of saying it is when our state changes. When I was traveling, I'd adopt a very different belief system. Don't you know, people where, like if you're in a certain, around a certain group of people, you have a different belief system than say, when you're with your family. Right. And then again, that points to how we pull different belief systems from the people around us. So when I was traveling, I would meet people, I mean, I would meet women that I was very much interested in and would, you know, would. If they said, hey, stay here in Spain or wherever it was, I would have stayed in a heartbeat. The beliefs. But it was being driven by a belief system that we know what here, nothing else matters here. The only thing that matters is the emotion is love. And with that I could figure out everything else. I come back home, all of a sudden in the belief system switches again. And not to like, who is in charge ultimately of that, of letting those things into the filter into the back of my mind, I am. But when you look around, everything around you, you're constantly being programmed as to what you need to be happy. I mean, put a cosmetics commercial on anything. Oh, you baggy eyes. Oh, get rid of those baggy eyes. Look great. Put this cream under everything is there to point out a pain point as insecurity and to make you think that you're not good enough the way you are and that by having this, you'll be better. And that's just one instance of trying to sell product. But what I want you to realize is that you're being programmed. We are being programmed the entire time. And some of it is intentional. Others is not. Others is just belief systems that others carried with them along the way. So those beliefs or stories, however you want to term it, they just kind of pass on. But unless you start to question what those stories are, those beliefs, they tend. They will just run your life and they, as a result, they'll just give you those reasons as to why bother trying at all. So we're going to end this with a little exercise. My homework for you write down in one list. This is the Tony Robbins exercise that I had picked up through one of his online courses. Write down on one list. Write down everything that you want in the different areas of your life. So look at your physical body, look at your emotions, how you want to feel, and show up every day. Go to your finances, go to how you contribute, your spirituality, go to your relationships. Write down exactly if you could have it the exact way you would want it the best, what that would look like. And in the next column, you write down what is the story you've been telling yourself as to why you don't have it. So if it is money, you could say something like, oh, well, money is evil, or people who have money, or crooked or whatever it may be. Don't judge yourself for it. Put down whatever that story is. And the last thing is to do is to look at that. Say, you know what, if this were to come true, Could I deal with it? Would I get by? Would I be okay? Chances are, yes. And I'll tell you what, the story you've been telling yourself is likely bullshit. It really is, you know, because I'm sure if you looked hard enough, you could find someone who has exactly what you want and that thing you're afraid of, they do not have. Or you could find someone who's living the way with the belief that you want to have. And then lastly, I'll throw in this last step is to create the new story. You can do this just by literally flipping the old story. So if it's like that, money, you know, people who have money have to cheat to get there. You could say that people who have money are honest and contribute to the world in an empowering way or something. Anything that could flip that. Here's the thing that you will notice by flipping this and creating a new dialogue in your head, it'll start to change the way you feel. When I did this for it's not when I did this, I still do this for when I do it for my own life. And I notice that there's a negative belief, a negative story that I keep telling myself when I catch it and I flip changes the way I feel. Like after a few repetitions, I start to feel different about it. It starts to take away that emotional intensity and I start to feel lighter. So do that. Create those stories. And anytime you feel triggered, pull out your sheet and read the more empowering that. More empowering. And realize that, you know what, in order for you to get to that place you want to do, you have to work through that story because otherwise that story is going to be there to limit you. It's going to hold you back. I hope you enjoyed this episode. I hope you all become better storytellers. And, you know, you don't suck at storytelling anymore. But we have to realize that we are some of the worst storytellers and the person we're telling those stories to is ourselves. We're a lot kinder to others, but we are very hard. And while we have every intention, we might think by not praising ourselves, by not giving ourselves the credit we deserve, we're doing a good thing. When we're not, we're actually damaging ourselves. Guys, I believe that you deserve to live a life that you're passionate about, a life that you love, a life full of joy and excitement. And the whole point of everything that I'm doing on this podcast is to kind of give you the tools as I experience them, to kind of shed away some of that shitty baggage that you've been carrying with you to make life lighter and to remind you to just stop, be and enjoy. Because this time here is all we have. I love the European lifestyle because they make the time to just to be, to live. We are always running around here in the United States. I think a lot of people were running around with nowhere to go. It's just this nervous energy. Take the time. You deserve it. You only get one life. Live it. Hope you enjoyed this episode, guys. If you did enjoy it, please send me a message on N Y R A U s via Instagram. Again, donnyrous D O N N Y R A U S if you want to share this with your friends, I would greatly, greatly appreciate it. That is, you know, just take a screenshot, post what you got out of this episode, and share it to your Instagram and that is it. Guys, I wish you a happy, beautiful and blessed week. God bless you and I will see you next week.