Your Turbulent Life - Dealing With Uncertainty

Most people spend their entire life stressed without ever giving a single thought as to what it is they really want or what's important to them. See, I'm here to cut through all that noise connecting you to yourself and the life that you were meant to live. I used to slave away at a corporate job that I hated, but I broke through the social norms and pursued my passion. As a result, I own my own coffee company, I'm espresso sommelier, and I get to travel the world. You too can live a life that you love, but it starts with getting clear about what you want. It starts with a new decision. I'm your host, Donnie Rouse, and you're listening to the podcast One Life, your Turbulent Life. When life throws you something that's unexpected, how do you respond to it? Does that unexpected thing throw off your life where all of a sudden now trying to keep up with all the other. The other responsibilities becomes a chore and a task? And when these things come up, it's important to understand what your go to reaction is to them. Because by understanding your reaction, you could start to create a plan. As to. There may be some questions as to how to get more clarity and to become conscious of this preconditioned response you have. So let me just, let me just ask you that. When life throws you something unexpected, when there is something that comes up that is beyond your control, how do you respond? Do you get, you know, caught into this frenzy of worry? Do you think of the worst case scenario? Um, how do you respond? And then the second question I'm going to have to ask you is in those times where you, you've, you know, you've noticed, right? Then you know what your precondition of response is. How often does it turn out not to be the way that you thought it would be? Like, what would. When has the outcome not turned out to be what your worst case scenario was, but actually turned out to be something better? But the entire experience has been literally you, you feel, you feel off because your entire experience was, you know, just put you through a lot of, like, tension, a lot of frustration, a lot of anxiety. And then you, you come out on the other end realizing that you know what, you just were creating all this in your mind. And then lastly, like, well, what questions can you figure with? Like, knowing that this is indeed a possibility? Like, what questions can you ask yourself to help you see this other side that is just as likely as this negative thing that you're painting in your mind? The inspiration for this post here comes from actually Comes from. I just came back from. I mean, I was going to use the plane ride as an example, and I guess I will start with that. I was flying from, from Miami to Washington D.C. and as it turns out, the last few flights that I've had coming back from Miami, back to home have all been during tropical storms. So it's freaking insane. I've never experienced turbulence so consistently as I have since I moved to Florida. And when I was, when I was flying back this most recent time, we. The. The storm had just passed through Florida and moved up the coast. And when I was going into dc, the, the pilots were attempting to land, but the winds were very, very strong. Like, I don't even know, I think they said like 60 miles an hour, something like that. So whenever the pilot was coming down, he was attempting to land, all of a sudden the wind would come in and it would throw the plane sideways and you would hear the thrusting of the engines, like revving up. And all of a sudden, at last minute, he would put full thrust in the engines and the plane would go all the way back up, very, very fast, circling around, only to attempt to do it again. This attempt for landing happened several times and everyone on the plane was just like, holy. Like, like. Or here, like, when are we gonna land? Like, when is this thing actually gonna happen? And he. Thankfully, he eventually landed the plane and then I, after that, I connected one hour and then I had to get on another plane and I went to New York and it was very much the same thing. We were flying through some of the storm and the, the, the pilot was getting ready to land and I noticed that you couldn't see anything. We're. We're descending and it was just clouds all around us and it, the plane was, was being tipped back and forth. And once we broke through the clouds and visibility, you were able to have some visibility. We were literally right about to hit the, the Runway. So essentially the pilot was landing the plane blind. And at the very, very end, everyone is clapped, which I hadn't heard in a while. And because he, he successfully landed this plane, this experience got me thinking a lot about life and just how when things don't go your way or when something unexpected happens, like, what is the response to it? My response, you know, so one month ago, I flew out from Miami, backed up to Westchester county, and I experienced the same thing. I went through a tropical storm. And as a result of going through that storm, I felt like I had no control. I had said my prayers, you know, gave my, you know, Made my, made my peace. And then we landed. And then this time after going through that same experience, I felt more, I felt more at ease. And what I say is, is that you, you know, you, you tend to go towards that worst case scenario, the worst thing that's going to happen. But it rarely ever happens like that. We like to create, I think, you know, I'm sure I'm not the only one where you create a bigger story in your mind as to what is going on. When reality, this is just like an everyday thing, right? It's time they've ever flown into and through like high winds or weather that causes a turbulence, right? That's what planes are made for. And it got me thinking about that is just the, the, the giving the trust to know that you know what, you know, things will turn out for the better. Like this turbulent, you know, it's a metaphor for life. Like the turbulence that you feel in life. Like the planes were made to withstand this turbulence. You were made to withstand the turbulence of your life to come out of the other side stronger than before. And so that's why it may I, I, when I think about certainty, I think about having to, you know, having to get, be give complete trust over to the pilots and realizing that it, it's not within your control. So the essence of this story here is just for you to understand like this. The turbulence that you experience in life, it's there to help you grow, to make you stronger. As I had mentioned, like when I did that first plane a month ago, the first ride, like I was shitting my pants, to be honest with you. I was really nervous as we were taking off and the plane was shaking in ways I never thought possible for a plane. But then after having that experience, all of a sudden, now going through this next experience, it didn't feel like anything. I was like, I felt more at peace because I had experienced something before and I, I know what you know, I know what kind of. I know that the planes are well equipped to handle this type of turbulence. I'll give you one more story. And this is with regard to, you know, to the uncertainties of life. I mean, I could have two stories I can use. I could use the apartment experience that I'm currently going through or I could use the one where I just got the MRI done of my abdomen and pelvis. Which one do I want to use? We'll use the pelvis one. That's the first thing that came to my mind. So a few months back I went to the doctor because I had, like, for a while. I was experiencing, like, this uneasy feeling. My stomach had felt unsettled. And I went to the doctor. I'm not sure what it is, because sometimes it feels like it's a little bit firmer on one side. And she's like, all right, well, you know, let's get. Let's get a CAT scan. And I was like, all right, all right, A CAT scan. I spoke to one of my friends. She's like, you do not want to get a CAT scan. I was like, well, why don't I want to get a CAT scan? She's like, well, because a CAT scan will give you. I think. I can't remember what. How many times the radiation. It's like 10 to 20 times the radiation. I don't remember of a chest scan, which is a lot of radiation. And I remember after doing research, I researched and said, like, one CAT scan, you could have, like, a total of. I can't remember if they said 10 CAT scans in your life or something like that, but. Or 20 CAT scans. I don't remember the exact. I apologize. I need to move my camera over here. But that one CAT scan or ten CAT scans was the equivalent to being in ground zero. Hold on one second. Ground zero of Hiroshima. So within two miles of it. So when I thought about that, I was like, oh, my God, this is frigging scary. And I didn't want to be exposed to any of the radiation, so it literally sent my mind on this loop, and I went. I was going to places where I didn't want to be, where I just went to this frenzy. And not to mention this whole experience of thinking, like, what could it be? What could be causing this. This feeling in my abdomen. So I started going through all these different thoughts in my mind, like, oh, my God, is it cancer? Worst case scenario, is it cancer? When I. You know, before getting the MRI came back, I had another. I had a meeting with a surgeon. The surgeon's like, my. My primary care physician told me that I had a hernia. So I went back to meet a surgeon. Surgeon's like, you do not have a hernia. I've been doing this for how many years? There's no hernia. Went back to my doctor again. He's like, you have a hernia. I stand by the first. And the reason I'm bringing this up is since that time I just had the MRI today, but since that last visit with the doctor, all that stuff that I was feeling with my. In my. In my. Like, in my abdomen completely Subsided, not even a trace of it left. And the hernia, you know, like once in a while if I sneeze, I might feel like a little bit of poke in my groin area or if I cough very, very hard or if I'm doing some squats. So I have a feeling that there probably is something there, but it's probably not. It's just, it's not a, you know, a need for concern at this moment. But the, you know, the MRI will, will give me full detail. And the reason I tell you this is because when the doctor was, had said like, oh, you need to get an mri. And my mind immediately went towards like what the worst possibility could be. So, you know, I did what every person will do, right? You saw you, you start to self diagnose by going on, by going on, you know, Google and like Google be your doctor. So I went on there and as I was down there, I started to read symptoms of all these different things and I started literally feeling all those symptoms. It just goes to show you the power of your mind. And at that point I went back down to Florida and my mind was taking off, it was taking off all that stuff, stuff that I was feeling in my abdomen as a result of my mind not focusing on what was going on there. Guess what happened? My, I completely, you know, the, everything I was experiencing completely dissipated. So where focus goes, energy flows. You've heard that, me say that before. And, and then, so then coming back here, you know, I, I go to get the MRI and then I'll, you know, some people comment, they're like, oh, I hope it's nothing. Hope you earn more. Well, hope it's nothing. Making comments. And all of a sudden my mind was like, all right, here we go again, rev up. But, but then I took a step back, I was like, you know what? No, no, no, we've already gone there, we don't need to go there again. And I, I, I tell you this for a couple reasons. One is just to be careful as to what you take in without getting a hundred, you know, without having full clarity as to what it is that's going on, right within the instance, you use the metaphor of like what I experience, it's the instance of having, you know, your MRI done. You don't have, until you have a clear, you know, a clear understanding of what it is that's going on, you don't need to go off, you know, start going down that, that dark tunnel. Like the quote says, a courageous man dies once, a coward dies a thousand times. Meaning as you're going through all the, when you're looping all the stuff in your head, you're dying literally a thousand times. But it makes sense to wait until you know exactly what it is before you, you know, you start to have any kind of concern and, and, and then dealing with the uncertainty. So after I had, you know, in the time I was waiting for to get the MRI done there, I had to sit in uncertainty because, like, you know, I was waiting for the MRI to get approved by my insurance company. And it's like, well, how do you manage that? There's the same thing, is one, you got to have some faith. You got to trust that everything is going to work out, otherwise you'll put yourself in a frenzy. And two, just realizing that, you know, there's only so much you could control and not allowing your mind to focus, to get so far off track that you, you don't recognize your. Your. You stop recognizing all the beautiful things that are already in your life. So to. To bring it all back around, right? We're, we're talking about turbulence. We're talking about certainty and having uncertainty. Like going back to the main points that I want to leave you with here. The one thing is recognize that you are built for more, that you are built to handle anything that life throws at you. And that it's. By going through the. These uncertainties, these turbulent times, which is actually strengthening you and giving you the resilience, because it's giving you like, in essence, like a benchmark to say, well, listen, I got through this. And, you know, I was. I realized I can get through if I can get through this and I can get through anything. And also I realized through that experience that let's wait until we have clarity and, and then take action from that clarity rather than just rushing into something because you're afraid or you don't have all the facts. And then secondly is just being conscious of your, of your mind, where your mind's going. Because where you put your focus is what you're going to feel. And to make sure that you're. You're putting your mindset on what it is that you want, the desired outcome, not what you're afraid of, because as a result of doing that, that's exactly what you're attracting to yourself. So going. Going back to the beginning of the questions like where does your mind typically go to. Because awareness is, Is extremely important and will help you because when you are aware of what your typical tendencies are regarding uncertain things that pop up in your day, now all of a sudden, you can start to develop a plan, to develop some questions just to pull you out of there. So this way you don't run in that loop. Because I'm telling you that loop is exhausting because it takes your focus. You're focusing on the problem rather than focusing on the life that you want to create for yourself. So when you know that you're you, you know, you're. You're starting to go down that path, ask yourself, do I have all the information necessary to even to make a diagnosis or to come up with an opinion on something or a stance? Very likely. It is not. You do not have all of the information. You know, the next thing is just start to get clarity, get the information, and then just ask yourself, what questions can I ask that will put me back in control, that will start making me feel better about what's going on? Rather than say, what is wrong? Or what's wrong? Or why is this always happen to me? A question is like, well, why is this always happen for me? Right? Try look for the positive in this and how it's building you up. I mean, that's how I've been going through the challenging experiences over the last few months, has been looking for, how it's. That the situations are working for me. And it's not to say that I'm not going to lie and tell you that it's been easy and that it's been. That I've dealt with it very. That like I'm, you know, that I've dealt with in a way that was. That hasn't been stressful, that I'd be lying to you. But I will say with all honesty, by looking at it from a stance of that, you know, it's. It's there to benefit me, that it's happening for me and that there is a greater learning that's coming on. Like, I don't regret any of the experiences I'm having on. And I say that a hundred percent with honesty because I've learned so much about myself in the process, as well as how to move forward when these types of things pop up, because they will pop up, right? There's one thing that's guaranteed in life, it's constant change. It's that you will, you know, hit these snags again and again. And the most important thing when you hit these snacks is how you respond. So this has definitely equipped me with a better response for things to come. So I do not regret it for one second. And I hope that through this podcast or through this, this post right here, that you will look at those, those things that are popping up in your life as opportunities, as opportunities to grow, as opportunities to come more aware of, of what it is your your typical tendencies are, but also to become more aware of where it is you want to point your you know, your compass and where you want to go, because that is ultimately what it's you know, where you're going to be headed. You got to put your focus where you want to go. So I hope you enjoyed this post. I hope this provides some value for you. If you did, please give it a thumbs up, share it with a friend. And remember, you only get one life. Live fully, live passionately, and most of all, live now. God bless you guys, and I will see you again soon.