How a Woman Can Affect ED in the Relationship With Dr. Carolyn Delucia MD

This podcast is for you. The modern man. I'm Dr. Anne Truong, your host. I'm an intimate health medical doctor and best selling author of the book Erectile Dysfunction Fix. I'll do a deep dive into sexual health and performance and how it affects men of all ages and backgrounds. So let's get started and be sure to visit my website@sexualhealthformenpodcast.com for more information and resources from the show. See you on the inside. Hello everyone. Welcome to the Sexual Health for Men podcast. And today I am so excited to have one of my great friend who I've known for many years, Dr. Carolyn DeLucia. My goodness, she has accolades that is like a foot long and I'm not doing her justice with this introduction, but I'm just gonna briefly highlight her accomplishments. She is a board certified OB GYN doctor of 30 years experience and she now specializes in female intimate health. She's an author, an international keynote speaker, an influencer and she is everywhere, and I mean everywhere. Everywhere I turn, everywhere I look. She is on some type of media. In fact, she recently wrote a chapter in one of Tony Robbins new book Longevity. It is now a number one bestseller on Amazon and she wrote about female intimate health. So along with her 30 years experience of treating thousands of patients, she created a combination of innovative therapy with personalized technology for female intimate wellness. Her office is in New York City and in suburban New Jersey. She is not only a talented doctor, but she is a lovely person inside out and I am just so honored to have her here with us on today's show.

Thank you so much Ann for having me. It's always so much fun to be with you and we have had some great times over the years. So I'm thrilled to be chatting with you.

Well, I am thrilled to be talking to you because today we're gonna talk about female intimate health and how it ties in into men intimate health as well. A lot of time, you know, when you're in a relationship you can, you know what's going on with you, but do you really know what's going on with the opposite sex and what changes they're going through as well as you age. So we're going to focus on kind of like what, what men know, how much you know about your partner female sexual health and how much does the woman know about their partner's sexual health and what they're going. What I find when treating men sexual health is that once they find out that things are not working well in the bedroom, they don't talk to their partner as the first line of communication they start. In fact, they tell me that that's the last person they want to talk to. In fact, the first person that they're going to talk to is Mr. Google on their Internet. And when you go to Mr. Google, they're going to find out, oh, take this ED medic. And then they just start going down the black rabbit hole. The black hole is what I call those medications because it's just a band aid. And we're trying to really educate men and women that are in a relationship that is not in the best intimate health as it used to be when they are first together and say, hey, you know what? If your sex life or bedroom performance is not where it used to be, let's take a step back, have an open communication and find out what is going on and try to treat the source of the problem instead of medicating the problem. And that's where we're going to come from for today's episode is what's going on with the female as they age. And let's first start out, what's the basic anatomy and sexual function in the female as she ages?

I couldn't agree more. The most most important aspect in any relationship is communication. It's communication, and you've got to speak to your partner. But that being said, I know it takes a lot of guts. I've been there with certain partners. It's more embarrassing to talk about than just to kind of brush it under the rug and let the whole relationship deteriorate, which is the saddest thing. Unfortunately, as life goes on, not being intimate can be a huge wedge in a relationship that then causes erosion, resentment, separation, and divorce. And I'm telling you as a, I'm going to be 60 years old this.

Year, and you're a hot 60 years old, by the way. You do not look your age at all. Okay. And listeners, she is still single, right?

Still single. It's just a sad truth. But finding a gentleman who can be open and honest and willing to be. And women must be willing and active participants in intimacy as well. I'm a gynecologist and sitting on that little stool that I sit on all day chatting to my patients, my women, I often will ask, how are things going in the bedroom? Or how are things going with sex? It depends on how I ask the question, depending on the relationship and comfort level I have with the patient, and vice versa. But when I ask that question, more times than not, my patient will respond with, oh, we don't do that anymore. And I'm like, what are you talking about? Why, why are you letting this intimacy go to the wayside? And very often they will say, well, I'm very uncomfortable with penetration. It hurts me. And for the men listening, when a woman goes through menopause, it will not be comfortable unless they're being appropriately treated. Vaginal dryness is excruciating for the woman. So when you're starting to use a ton of lube from the side bedside table, you know she's in pain. And keep that in mind. It's not lubricated.

When does that usually start? When is that? Vaginal dry disease symptoms usually start in.

A year or two following their last menstrual period. So once you're in menopause, that, and this is the one and only symptom that gets worse over time. The other symptoms like hot flashes during the day or those night sweats that women experience get better over time. But vaginal dryness and lack of ability to stretch that occurs with menopause just gets worse and worse to the point where it feels. Feels like a round hairbrush instead of male anatomy. And it's ouch. Yes, it is horrendous. So when that first happened to me, it was like a light switch. One day sex was comfortable, literally, the next day it was intolerable. It was overnight. And it was not possible to tolerate penetration. So something needs to be done.

And when does this usually happen? Like what age is normally when women.

Start to feel this between 50, 55. Yep. And that, you know, men at this age often will begin to have some erectile dysfunction. And sometimes if the couple's on the same page and neither one seems slighted by the lack of intimacy, that's fine. No one's telling you you have to have sex. If you find other ways to communicate, to connect and stay intimate. Intimate doesn't always need to be sex. But that being said, sex is the most beautiful form of intimacy. It's the most in depth way to connect with your loved one. So that's the most important thing to discuss today and how to maintain that ability to really be enjoying the senior years of our lives, that we have no children at home, you know, we've done that and we have time to really appreciate each other instead of looking at each other and saying, who are you? Don't touch me. And you know, go elsewhere.

Right. And that's the sad part that that is the sad part is that, you know, you're in your 50s, the children are grown you're at a financially probably stable situation that you were when you first got married. It's almost like a second honeymoon. And then lord and behold, oh, you know, I'm not enjoying sex as much. And you know, the woman's having vaginal dryness and the man may be experiencing some signs of ED. In fact, you know, studies have shown that 67% of men do not even know they have ED. And so they may not even realize that they're having ED issues. And the woman may not even realize she's having menopause symptoms. And then they're like, well, you know, I see many of my patient down on men. They would say, well, she's not interested at all. And she just tells me, you know, I've done my job. You know, you do what you need to do. And I want to enlighten our listeners on what is going on with her at this time and why does, if she's having that vaginal dryness discomfort, what's her thought? Does she think there's something going on or is she seeking help or what's your experience?

Well, so many women normalize the conditions and saying, oh, well, this is what happens with age. I guess I lose my interest. I don't even care about having sex anymore and it hurts. I don't have. It does. I can't reach climax anymore or it's really hard and it takes a long time. I guess I'm done. And they accept it without realizing that there are many, many, many treatments. And you and I both are treating our patients with these new technologies that really make a life changing effect. I mean, that's why I wrote my first little book. It's kind of a glorified pamphlet, I like to say. It's only about a hundred pages. It's a quick read and it explains what's going on with women and what's available out there. It's called.

What is that book?

It's called Ultimate Intimacy, the Revolutionary Science of Female Intimate Health. And one of the first pages is, this is the only picture in the book. Yes, that's a vulva. That's the external female genitalia. And I try to actually show what is what. And because women don't even know their own anatomy, I could tell you that most women cannot pick out their vagina from a lineup. If there were pictures taken of a bunch of vaginas, they can't say, oh, that's me. And we really should be able to. We should know our own bodies so that we can help our partners Please us appropriately. And I'm going to point out one more thing. I'm wearing red to match my little model of. What is this? Yep, it's the clitoris. Now.

Men pay attention to this. Yeah, it doesn't look like just a little knob.

That's right. So this is all we see, this little tip. And that is, of course, where women do have. Are you ready for this? 8,000 nerve endings in the tip of our clitoris, where men have 4,000 nerve endings in the head of their penis. And you guys are all proud of all that junk. Now, we love your junk. Don't misunderstand. But we do want you to grasp our and literally our anatomy. So besides the little piece you can see underneath the skin on the sides of the labia are our crura. And this is synonymous with the whole length of the penis, the cavernosus of the penis. So this area in women is also very sensitive. And in the middle here is where the vagina would be. So penetration does stretch all of these areas and helps with excitation or stimulation for a woman's pleasure. So women should know and men should know that there's more than meets the eye.

Absolutely. And also, the clitoris is the only organ for pleasure. Right. It has no other function than giving the woman pleasure versus the man's penis. It has other function than just for sexual activity. It's used for urination. It's used for semen, for ejaculation. And so there's three different functions versus that the clitoris is for the female pleasure. But oftentimes she doesn't know that actually, and she just thinks it's probably just that little knob that you see. And I can tell you how. You know, when I see some of my female patient, they do not even know where the clitoris is. How often do you see that?

Very often. As a matter of fact, one patient says, no, that's where I urinate from. And I'm like, oh, no, no, no, dear, that's your clitoris. There's no opening here. The opening is down here. So, yes, it is remarkable. And that's why I emphasize both men and women should become more well versed on the female anatomy, because that will help. And from that point on, how to maintain the health of that anatomy, which is blood flow. The key to everything in intimate health is blood flow.

Yay. Yay.

Right. To the penis or the vagina or the clitoris or the nipples or any place that we have arousal or an erogenous zone is blood flow. And I loved Your series on Instagram about male erogenous zones. That was fun. I was taking notes. Oh, what is it today? I gotta write that down.

I started on day one to day 14. Joe.

Awesome. Yep, yep, yep. So, yeah, so I'm trying.

Yeah, you should do one for the female region for the next 14 days.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I should. That would be cute.

Yeah. And I'm sure there'll be troves of treasure that you can find out. In fact, I think there's 33 region from head to toe, that erogenous zone that we know about. But I'm sure there's probably more as well. So talk about some signs and symptoms of impact of a compromised sexual function in a female.

Okay, so I've hit a few of them already and we've hit vaginal dryness and how that occurs with menopause. But even before menopause there can be sexual dysfunction in women. And that will incorporate and inability to be aroused and inability to achieve orgasm. And these are loss of libido. All of these changes are categorized in different definitions in medicine, different diagnoses, and they all need to be addressed. So there are women in their 20s who have never been able to experience. Experience an orgasm. And that is something that's quite frustrating not only for the woman, but for her partners because they really do want to please us as we know and thank you men for that. And yet they. This poor woman cannot respond despite her efforts. So that can be addressed and once again, blood flow. Blood flow and innervation nerves can be stimulated. And we can do that with regenerative procedures using prp, as you well know. And that's the elixir of life, the good old O shot and P shot developed and trademarked by Dr. Charles Runnels. And these procedures are remarkable in their ability to improve natural blood flow and ability to have an orgasm.

Absolutely. And that what we both enjoy in working with our patient in restoring natural blood flow to the sexual organ. And as you mentioned, as you get to, you know, even it starts as early probably as probably 35 and going and getting worse in the 50s that even for men and women, the sensation is decrease in the libido is decreased. But I want to kind of get back a little bit and ask for, you know, for a man, you know, the, you know, their penis and sexual organs right there, they use it for urination, they see it every day and they kind of know, hey, you know, it's not working the same as it used to be when I was in their 30s. But they can physically see and feel it for a woman is a little bit more ambiguous. You don't touch it down there, you don't hold it when you urinate and you don't see it. So the question I want to ask, how does a woman know that and you and I are older, but maybe the new generation, how does she know that she's supposed to have an orgasm? And what is an orgasm like as she grows up? What are your thoughts on that?

Well, I think that that's a kind of self exploration type of situation. And nowadays, golly, these kids are Google maniacs. And as you mentioned, Dr. Google will certainly explain what's going on. And young ladies are exploring and they're with natural sense of masturbation, which is not a bad word. And they're not going to go blind. And so I think that culturally we've gotten away from the taboos of loving oneself or self pleasure and learning about your anatomy and feeling that reach of extent of pleasure is something very natural in both men and women. When it comes to when that's changing all of a sudden, whether you're on your own or with a partner, reaching that level of excitation and climax becomes very different, difficult and time consuming. And this can happen at any age. It's not only when we lose our hormones and our menopause. So the way it felt to me when this was happening, it was like rubbing my forehead. There was no sensation, sensation whatsoever and very disappointing. So again, being able to increase blood flow and maintain the hormonal milieu is critical. As you and I both know, aging happens when we lose our hormones. It really occurs pretty rapidly when we have complete cessation of the function of our ovaries, which is what I wrote in Tony Robbins book which just came out this week. So this is a book on longevity and I wrote the chapter along with Dr. Garrison, who's a PhD doing research on why ovaries fail in the first place. So our approach was to really emphasize that aging is simultaneously occurring with the failure of our ovaries, which are our female gonads, much like the male testes. And losing estrogen, progesterone and testosterone in a woman is what causes that exponential progress in aging and illness. What people have to realize, both men and women and you know this, Ann, is that without our hormones we are more likely to develop disease. And that includes Alzheimer's, diabetes, heart disease, stroke, brain fog, and all the way down to erectile dysfunction and orgasmic dysfunction in women. So replacing those hormones is absolutely critical.

Absolutely and oftentimes it's actually unnoticed because it actually starts as early as the mid-30s. And we know that men and women in their 50s, at least for men. The number one killer for men is heart attacks. And actually so is women. That's right, that's right. So get those hormones replaced if you're starting to have symptoms of menopause or even andropause, because it could be changing your quality of life, but could also save your life because it actually is preventative for heart health, but and not just for your sex life alone. So I want to kind of dive into your secret orchid approach. I love that name by the way. Really love the orchid. I love the smell of orchid flower. And the secret orchid is such a mystery. And it's really personified what your approach is and the way you approach that things. It's kind of like the similar pathway I approach with men's sexual health in using regenerative therapy such as platelet rich plasma to increase blood flow, as well as technology. I use shockwave and laser. You do the same thing as well in approaching the cause, root cause of the problem, of the blood flow problem and also addressing the emotional side as well. And with your secret orchid approach, you have the four different phases. I love that because it's not just, oh, okay, come here. You know, I see some clinic is just one modality approach, you know, shockwave only. Okay, that's all you're going to get. Or just, you know, one treatment approach of okay, here's hormone. All right, that's it. So our approach is multimodality. You're looking at the hormones, you're looking at the, the physical changes restoring physiology and functionality to the organs again and then working on the emotional connection to the physical part because, you know, the brain is your larger sexual organ. When I read that, I'm like, oh my God, that makes so much sense because everything processes through here. If things doesn't go well up here, nothing can go down below the belt, right? Yeah, nothing's gonna go below. No matter how many medication you take, no matter how many Viagra Cialis you take. If things doesn't get processed down here, nothing gonna kind of go down below as well. And that's for both men and women. And you know, and you know, we live in a time right now of just fast paced and multi, multitask and just, you know, we just don't have enough time in the day to really make time for intimate health. And both you and I know how important that is because it's not only for just time for sex, it's really time for your health. Because there are multiple health benefits to intimacy as well, too, along with, you know, emotional attachment that your secret orchid approach. The first phase is relief. Intimate discomfort. Can you talk about that more?

So in that area, we talk about relief of issues that could be causing hesitation to be intimate and an active participant in that sex. So what can we do to improve the discomfort or pain? Not only in menopause, there are conditions called vaginismus, which is an involuntary spasm of the muscles of the pelvic floor where they just go rock hard and it's like hitting a stonewall. Penetration becomes impossible. And that is often in women in their 20s and 30s. And this can be treated with Botox. Could you imagine? It usually takes one treatment of Botox to relax those muscles, let them forget about going into spasm. The woman realizes that penetration doesn't hurt, and then that involuntary spasm can go away and intimacy may be restored.

So then afterward, put a little bit in the face as well. So Botox is not only for the face. Right. And you put it into the muscle of the vagina. How. How good is that? A little bit down there and a little bit up in the face to get rid of those wrinkles. I'm glad you mentioned that. Think about Botox. What other things that. That, that. The signs of an impact of that as well.

Yes. Yeah. And there's, of course, vaginal dryness, lack of lubrication, which once again, can be due to birth control pills. It's not only menopause. So what can we do to enrich that blood flow to the vagina to make intimacy more comfortable?

So you're saying that birth control pills can actually affect vaginal moisture?

That's correct, yes. Because it's a pseudo pregnancy state, and it's altering the natural flow of our hormones, and it can cause vaginal dryness. I've seen it more times than I wish to mention. So these procedures we can do, such as laser treatments of the full length of the vagina painlessly, by the way, none of these procedures are uncomfortable. If I had the to torture women all day, I just couldn't do it. You'd have to put me in a padded cell. So these are painless procedures, and you can use a laser? You can use radio frequency. Radio frequency is less aggressive than laser, but extremely effective. Painless. No downtime, mind you, women and gentlemen, a woman can have that treatment during the day, at lunchtime, and. And come home and be sexually active. Immediately there's no downtime. And very often following a radiofrequency procedure, it is really more exciting because there's been more increase in the blood flow and it's a wonderful sensation. So radio frequency treatments have gotten down to eight, eight minutes long. And so I just finished the trial on a new device. It's called NFAM. 368 minutes long and so effective and changing lives once again. And eight minutes.

So what does it do? Does it relieve the tension in the.

Vaginal muscle or literally penetrating? It's monopolar radio frequency, which means that it is penetrating at the depth of about 1cm or half an inch. It's hitting an area of our cells called the lamina propria, which is below the dermis. And it's where we have cells that create collagen and elastin, fine nerve endings, as well as blood flow. So all of those areas are activated by the radio frequency and improve the elasticity of the vaginal tissues. And in women who have had many babies vaginally, sometimes there's what we call laxity. And laxity is a weakness of the walls before a woman has a baby. The vagina is a ton. It's a cylinder. Following childbirth, it kind of becomes a square with all four walls falling in. The top wall is the bladder. The bottom floor is our rectum. The side walls are just become lax and therefore penetration doesn't feel the same very often for the woman as well as for the man. But when we're trained to find aid in this situation, we're trying to take this overstretched rubber band and bring it back to a new rubber band so that it can accommodate and attach and basically improve friction with that intimate connection.

Well, very well said. I'm glad you describe what happened to the female with childbirth. And I myself, after having two children, have that laxity. And I had the radio frequency treatment as well as the osha. That's what actually got me into the intimate health world through with Charles Reynolds. And that was in 2014 also. So we both kind of came to that junction around the same time and. And in fact, I was my first o shot patient. I had the OSHA first and I'm like, oh, I became a believer myself. And I'm like, oh my God. You know, and I was at that time, like in my mid-40s at that time and having these issues, but I was like this close to having bladder surgery because I was having urinary stress incontinence. Every time I tried to exercise and one of my urologist friends said, oh, you need a bladder suspension. That's the only solution. And you know, one of my friends, she's an OBGYN that, you know, there's a new procedure called OSHA. I just learned it from, you know, Dr. Charles Reynolds. And you should go check it out. Let's go learn from him. And I'm like, oh my God, putting a needle down in my private area, that sounds painful. But when I was there and learning about the procedure and having it myself, I'm like, oh, this is nothing. And you don't feel anything at all. And since then, I've been having an O shot procedure once a year by one of our colleague, you know, Dr. Shelly Gover. I hope you're watching this. Our clubhouse group. Yeah. So do you get a no shot every year too?

Oh, yes, Anne. And a matter of fact, this year I was so desperate I did my own. Don't tell anybody. Oh, I just told the world.

My God, you are just amazing. I don't know how you would do that, but I remember you did say that. I'm like, you, girl, you know, you're in New Jersey, you're not that far from me. Just please come down here. I'll just, I'll do one for you because I can see you like this. You're like, have to trick your body and your hand and your legs and all that. And I'm sure you didn't do a clitoral nerve block.

Oh, I sure did.

Oh, yeah. Oh, I don't know how you do it. I. I don't know how. How you do a clitoral nerve block. Yeah. Without even. I see. Did you use a little mirror? No.

I knew the anatomy well enough, but yeah. So the O shot, Spectacular, absolutely spectacular for improving sensation. And like you said, once a year. And it's a lovely way to really keep that blood flow and nerve working. Yeah. So that's the relief stage of the secret orchid method. Yep.

Right. And then going on to the next phase is restore sexual function and enjoyment.

Right. So this is where once again, platelet rich plasma comes into play. But also the sound wave or shockwave treatment. So I have been blessed to have the latest of technologies in this area called low intensity extracorporeal shockwave therapy. And the device is duo by brand. And what sets it apart is its ability to penetrate 13 cm into the pelvic floor. Floor. And that's deeper than any of these other devices that I have found on the market. So 13 centimeters is like 16 and a half. I mean, six and a half to seven inches. And when you look again at the model of the clitoris, you're talking just about that. So it made sense to me that this device could be used to improve sensation. And let's say this is the female anatomy and this is the labia coming down on either side with the clitoris in the middle. We just hold the device externally without moving it at all. Holding it in place. Holding it in place and placing it above where the clitoris begins and in these three easy areas, delivering this energy. There's a amazing, remarkable, astonishing result in women by improving blood flow and it's causing that restoration of sensation in the clitoris. And the G spot, the full. Because it's penetrating those 13cm, it's getting pretty much the full length of the vaginal vault as well.

Absolutely. Is that model life size, Carolyn?

Pretty much, yeah.

Yeah, I thought so. And, and, and ladies and men, we are. Yeah, you. You should patent those earrings. But, like, actually hold that model again. Now, this is a real life size of the clitoris. It's about, what, four centimeters up and down? Right. Four centimeter up and down is life size. Yeah. So it looks. It actually looks very similar to a penis. It just bifurcates. It could kind of go into a V. Yeah.

There's an absolute analogy of the anatomy. It's identical. And that's in embryonic development as we're growing into a fetus, male or female, that's. It's the same exact organelles, the exact cells that are dividing and developing into the anatomy. And depending on the chromosomes, XY or X. X, X. That's what determines penis versus clitoris.

Yeah. Right. And that's. Well, that's amazing. That's amazing. And that. And again, that that organ is purely for pleasure women. And it's 4 centimeters, so don't neglect it. And, and, and that's probably more enlightening for the men as well, too. So therefore, it's just not that knob. You see, it's also the way it's split. That's the corpus cavernosum that fills with.

Blood, like in a male.

Right. And actually that's probably an erogenous zone as well, too. So when she say the word vulva, it's what you see. It's the vagina. What you see the whole vagina on the outside. And that is not just the clitoris or the G spot that's sensitive. It's actually the folds on the outside that is sensitive. That's where the clitoris is At So an analogy to the man, you know, is what she talked about is shockwave therapy, low intensity shockwave therapy. And for the man, the machine that does that is called the focus, you know, and like, your machine is also the focus as well. Right. And do it for. And doing the treatment for the man, that's exactly what we do. We do it on the shaft as well as at the root of the penis, near the pubic area, and also in the crura, which is kind of down, kind of like where the line, the intersection between the scrotum and the sitting bone, which is the ischium, but that's kind of where the clitoris kind of split off as well, too. So, men, your penis actually can extend all the way down to the scrotum and even beyond that, the corpus cavernosum. So it just doesn't extend, stop right at the base of the penis. It actually goes in deeper. And actually the muscle around the pelvic area there is also an integral part of sexual health as well, too. Can you elaborate more on that? Because that's where Emsella, the machine Emsella, come into the picture, right?

Yes. So next level in our secret orchid is about the pelvic floor musculature, which also is attached to the abdominal musculature. So the abdominal musculature in women has to be maintained. We as women, following childbirth, one third of women will have a permanent diastasis rectus, which is a separation of the abdominal musculature. And when that occurs, it is contiguous with our pelvic floor musculature, which is the diaphragm of the abdomen. It's what keeps everything in. In our torso. And when that is weakened, we will have issues such as urinary incontinence. And that's with a cough, a sneeze, a jump, or urgency, needing to rush to the bathroom in order to not leak, which is mortifying. As a woman, and I wanted to bring up one important aspect about urinary incontinence. It's 1/3 of women suffer with urinary incontinence. And 45% of those women will not be intimate with their partner for fear of losing urine during sex. Can you imagine? It's almost half of a third, which is an enormous population, hesitant to be intimate because of fear of leaking.

Oh, I'm one of those women, you know, to correct this.

And something as simple as the Emsella chair, which is the best seat in the house. It's an electronic chair that just sits. You sit on it fully Clothed. And it causes the entire pelvic floor musculature to contract 11,200 times. Now, I say it's the best seat in the house because it's not limited to women. Men can sit on this chair as well, and it reaches. Rebuilds the entire pelvic floor. And that musculature causes urinary.

Hey, Carol. Oh, Carolyn. You kind of froze there a little bit, but we're back.

Urinary continence, and it also improves erectile function in men as well as arousal in women. So that study we also just finished for women demonstrating that in improving the tone of the pelvic floor not only helps with urinary incontinence by 75% in correction of urinary incontinence, but also an 85% overall improvement in sexual function. So lubrication, arousal, and even libido improve. That's an indirect effect because it feels better and it's more enjoyable. They want to do it more. So libido is a little bit of an indirect effect from these procedures, but lo and behold, improved. And that's the most important part.

Well, of course, you know, if you're having sex and it feels good and you're enjoying it, you want to have more.

All right.

Yeah. And if you're having sex and it doesn't feel good, it's uncomfortable and it's painful, who wants to go back again? It's like, you know, who wants to go? Who wants to have that experience again? So it just makes sense. So, you know, if you want to. Yeah. If you want to have more sex, make it enjoyable so you can enjoy the experience as well. And I love the way how you explain it, but what do you do about the abdominal diastasis or the separation of the abdominal wall?

Absolutely. Thank you for reminding me. To talk about that, we use something called emsculpt or Emsculpt Neo. These are machines that use the same energy as the chair, which is called hifem. High intensity focused electromagnetic energy. And it's basically Tesla magnets. That's what it is for you men who love technology and love Tesla. Here you go. This is a magnet that causes every single muscle fiber in the abdominal wall to contract. And basically you're contracting 20,000 times in a half hour every single muscle fiber in the abdominal wall. And these devices have been proven on mri, CAT scan, and ultrasound to minimize that gap in the muscle up to 20%. There is nothing non invasive other than Emsculpt that accomplishes that. And that has been Clinically proven on diagnostic study. So truly impressive. And by doing that, you're improving again, that connection to the pelvic floor, urinary continence. And let's face it, if you have a stronger abdominal wall, it improves any kind of back pain that develops over time. And with aging, as we stand erect over in this gravitational world.

Yes. Oh, my God. Everything start falling down as we get older as well. So does the emscope actually close that opening? Yes, it does. How long does it take for. How many treatments it takes to close that opening?

Four treatments of a half hour.

Oh, my God. Four treatment one week apart.

Yes, correct.

Four treatment. My goodness. And you know, I find that very, very common when I see men with ED is that they, they have that opening in the abdominal wall. And I think I. I think I have a little one too, and I probably need to get that treated. I haven't had that yet as well, but I need to probably do more abdominal exercise too. Right.

Well, if you get the emsculpt, you don't have to.

Oh, wow.

And it can be used on your arms, it can be used on your legs, it can be used on the glutes, so it stops the assalanche. That also happens with time.

So. Yeah, yeah, Underground. Now, could you use that on the pelvic floor muscle?

Well, that's the chair. The chair is the version for the pelvic floor muscles.

Right, right, absolutely. So there's a machine for every little part that, that you need to.

One machine. It's all one machine. The chair is basically an applicator, and then the applicator for the abdomen, the applicators for the arms. It's all the same machine now.

Oh, it's all the same machine. So the Emsella, the M Scope and the HIVE is all one machine?

All one machine.

And is that the dual machine?

No, that's the M Sculpt Neo or M Sculpt Classic.

I see. Oh, one machine. That's awesome. It used to be three separate machines.

No, that's all one now.

Oh, my goodness. So what about the last phase, which is reinforced.

Right. So this is the phase of pulling it all together. This is the phase where you're putting it. You have accomplished the relief, you've accomplished the restoration, you've accomplished all the other aspects. And now you're going to deal with the psychological as well and focus on the importance of the relationship and bring it all together confidence. So part of restoring intimate function is the ripple effect, the effect it has on the rest of our lives when we think about having sex. Let's say we had great sex last night. I did not still sing all the. Just putting that out again.

Okay, we're gonna fix that. We're gonna have to fix that too.

Having sex, let's say great sex the night before. When you leave your house and you're going to work, you've got a bounce in your step. There's definitely a sense of confidence. You've got support, you've got a positive attitude facing the rest of the world that day. And it's critical in how you perform your job, how you interact with others. When you are sexually deprived or if you are feeling down, that has an effect on how you perform at work, how you treat your children. And your children know this. They will sense your mood and it affects their well being. So the ripple effect affects every aspect of our lives.

Well, absolutely, yeah. And there was a study that was done a few years ago that showed that in a relationship where there is sexual challenges, when a man with ED and a woman with sexual challenges, a third of them, 25 to 30%, end up in divorce, you know, without that physical intimacy, which is not like you said, we're just not talking about. Just the physical part of sex is really the emotional connection, the closeness, the happiness, the happiness in the relationship. And I actually saw a patient the other day and he came to see me for Ed and he said he was married for 40 years, but the last 15 years he had Ed because he had abdominal aortic aneurysm surgery that resulted in decreased blood flow to his penis and he wasn't able to have an erection. And that deteriorated his relationship with his wife. And he couldn't talk about it with her, she didn't talk about it with him, and it strained a relationship. And he came to see me and admitted that, you know, his sexual functioning was a large part of the gap in their relationship, and it ended up in divorce. And now that I'm treating him for his ed, you know, he's 67, and I really admire him for his courage. You know, he had the surgery, Nothing's been working. It's been 15 years. And he's 67, you would think, oh, God, you know, I'm old, I don't want to fix this. He came to see me because he said, you know, I enjoy that, you know, the sex and I enjoyed that relationship. I want things to work again. And he's in a relationship with a younger woman. And now that we get him to function again with the P shot, which is, you Know what you mentioned the analogy of the O shot and the low intensity shockwave therapy and lifestyle factors, you know, not to. You know, I want to mention that, hey, lifestyle factors such as diet, exercise, mindfulness, sleep, just the basic stuff, actually will go a long way. And that's all we did in restoring his function. Now he's in a relationship with a woman in her 30s and is able to enjoy a sexual relation for the first time in, like, 15 years. So to me, it's like, oh, my God. You know, I just. It's a transformation for this man who is. I think it's courageous in saying, I'm not gonna take this. You know what? I'm not gonna die and live in this state of really asexual. Right. And I'm gonna do something about it. And he. What he said was really paramount to me and why you do what you do and I do what I do is that he didn't know that treatment existed for Ed or a female. Knowing that, hey, there's. There is treatment out there that can restore your sexual function in as little as probably a month, month to six weeks. Right. You don't have to suffer this. So we want to get the message out there that, you know what you know, the thing you don't know, that there's a saying, you don't know what you know. But now we want to say, now you will know. Do something about it to transform your life, because you do not have to take sexual challenges to the grave, that it can be reversed. You can have sex and enjoy fantastic orgasm and really rejuvenated genital to the day you die. Right.

That is 100% correct, Ann. I couldn't have said it better. And it takes two to tango. Both patients, male, female, both partners. I have homosexual couples that need to be both treated. And there's frustration even there if one isn't up to par with the other. So it just takes two to tango. Both partners need to be willing and active participants, and intimacy can be endless.

Absolutely. And that I wanted to stress and I want to end before we go. Is that. Why do you do what you do? Dr. Lucia, I can tell you're so passionate about it. I am. And we're just like sisters on the same wavelength here. And why do you do what you do?

Well, I've always. Being a physician, we want to help people. And what I've discovered is this is a void. There's a void. There's a gap here that hasn't been appropriately addressed in medicine. And it needs to be Recognized women today are looking for answers a little bit more actively. And finally there are answers. And this comes. It's truly an issue with the provider as well as the patient. Both parties need to be willing to talk about these issues. So that's my mission, is to bring the message out that not only should we be talking about it, but there are solutions that are simple, painless and available. So that's my soapbox and that's why I've been doing what I do day in and day out.

So how can our listeners, men and women, find you and to come by and see you? And you're in New York City and also in New Jersey as well, right.

So I have one website and it's drcarolyndalusha.com simple as that. And if they want to download my book for free, the Ultimate Intimacy book, that's at www.ultimateintimacy.net and free download for them there for that book and Amazon. The other books are there, whether it's Tony Robbins newest book or my other book, Ultimate Connection, which is about the relationship aspect of what we've discussed today. So it's just simple to get answers today. You just gotta ask.

I will put all of those link on the show note on her website and the resources to her book. And I thank you so much, Carolyn to be here with me today. I'm thrilled about this episode. It's chock full of information that we hope to change somebody's life.

Oh, thank you, Anne and thank you for all the work you do in this realm. Thank you.

Well, thank you and we'll see you next time. Take care. Thanks for listening to the Sexual Health for Men podcast. If you love this episode, then please take a screenshot on your phone and post it on Facebook, Instagram or wherever you post. And be sure to tag me and let me know why you like this episode and what you like to hear in the future that will help me know what's great for you and how. I would love to give you the most incredible free gift designed to help you improve performance quickly. Go to my website@sexualhealthformenpodcast.com to get the book the Five Common Costly Mistakes Men Make When Facing Ed. I would appreciate it if you subscribe, leave a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen and just know that you can have sexual vitality for life. I appreciate you. Until next time.