Performance Anxiety & Testosterone Boost: Unlocking Sexual Vitality, with Chas Gessner

Hello there. Today episode I'm talking with Chaz Gettner on how to deal with performance anxiety and how to increase your testosterone for optimal sexual vitality. So stay tuned and I'll see you on the inside.

I'm not going to speak for all men here, but I think I can say from my own personal experience, I think whether it's self induced or not, I think a lot of men put a lot of pressure on themselves to be the rock and the provider and the leader. Right. And that gets confused a little bit with not being able to be vulnerable and show weakness.

This podcast is for you, the modern man. I'm Dr. Anne Truong, your host. I'm an intimate health medical doctor and best selling author of the book Erectile Dysfunction Fix. I'll do a deep dive into sexual health and performance and how it affects men of all ages and backgrounds. So let's get started and be sure to visit my website@sexualhealthformenpodcast.com for more information and resources from the show. See you on the inside. Well, hello there. I'm here today with pro athlete, ex NFL player Chaz Gessner. Today we're going to talk everything about vitality, being the sexy man and sexual health. So stay tuned for this whole episode for pearls from NFL player. He's been in so many pro football teams that I can't even name. I get all excited by reading his bio because I haven't interviewed a pro football player before. On top of that, he looked almost like Matthew McConaughey as well. So if you see me gushing a little bit, it's because she's just so cute to look at. So welcome, Chad, to my podcast.

Thank you. I appreciate it. Yeah, thank you. What an introduction. Like I told you earlier, I'll take that compliment any day.

Oh, well, I say like it is and so let's just dive into it. And you were an elite athlete. You have to be. And we want to know who was Chaz like before he became that elite athlete league and what was his journey when you were in football and after football and why did you created your company called Vitality rx?

Yeah, so I think from a pretty early age I always kind of had a chip on my shoulder. I was never the best and so I was always trying to prove myself. And so I think I kind of developed a penchant really early on to figure out how I could squeeze that extra little mile out of myself both mentally and physically. And that has helped kind of fuel me throughout my whole athletic Career and now kind of my career in business and entrepreneurship.

Were you bully or were you small to compare to the other boys? Is that what kind of giving you that drive to be the best you can be?

I think I was just, I wasn't bullied, but didn't feel like I ever really got much credit. I was always kind of middle of the pack and I was a very, very competitive, I think just by nature. So I think it just kind of really lit a fire always that I never got any kind of recognition and that I was never the best and I always wanted to be and I always looked up to those people that were at the top. And so I think has always kind of stuck with me.

How did you get to be in pro football?

It was kind of a windy path. I ended up playing two sports in college. I went to Brown, which is not the most traditional path from the Ivy League into the NFL. But I was a late bloomer and kept growing and ended up growing all the way until I was about a sophomore in college and ended up being 6. 6 and all of a sudden a big, huge guy.

Well, what were the challenges, and maybe they aren't when you were a pro athlete in maintaining optimal health? I mean, you know that you have to be in optimal health to be your best to perform. But were there any challenges or were there any pressure to take other alternative treatment with growth hormones or any hormones like that at all?

Yeah, I mean, I think there's always that. But I, you know, these are first world problems, right? When you're at that level, a lot of people would say I didn't even get the opportunity to get to that level. And that's true. And blessed to be even in the room with some of these guys that I was in the room with, some of the best in the world at their craft. I think the challenges for me came a lot more when I got done playing and all of a sudden didn't have that support system around me and didn't have the resources that I had when I was playing. And that was the biggest kind of shock is getting out there in the real world and realizing that this is broken, right? Like, I'm ultra motivated and I'm still having a ton of trouble finding the right resources and figuring out who to trust and what information is legit and what's BS and all that stuff.

So you touch upon, okay, you had all these resources when you were playing, and then when you stopped playing, you didn't have accessibility. Like what, what resources and accessibility were you referring to that an everyday man wouldn't.

Yeah, well, I think the biggest thing, right, because everybody's so focused on optimizing performance that you start looking outside of just the healthcare system, which is kind of designed to keep you from being sick or dying. Right. But when you're at that level, that's not a concern. So you start looking at, what are the other modalities that I can do to increase things like recovery and performance and strength and energy and all of those kind of things. You start talking about, like, the body workers and people that are doing massage therapy and chiropractors and acupuncturists and meditation and therapists and all of these other kind of additional modalities that are approaching this in a much more integrative way. It's centralized around the team, so the team is largely vetted. Whether it's the team or other core group of players that are on the team, they've vetted these other experts. Right. So, you know, you're getting the best in the world. That's all coming to you.

Gotcha.

Right. Like, you're not having to go seek that out and find that you can turn next to me in my locker and ask a couple of guys, a couple of lockers down, hey, who do you use for this, this, and this? And know that likely they've done the same thing with other guys that are the best in the world at this thing. Right. And you know, you're getting good information that doesn't exist outside of that kind of bubble.

Very well pointed out. So essentially, you know, these people have been vetted out, and these athlete bodies are their profession, so they don't trust anyone except the best. But when you weren't playing, you don't have that resource, and you're kind of on your own. To Dr. Google. Right. To Dr. Gogo.

Exactly.

And you go and start talking.

This is a dark, twisty place.

Yeah, yeah, it is a dark, dangerous place. And I can't tell you how many times I have to talk with patients and stress that if you Google, your symptom doesn't necessarily mean that you have your diagnosis. And if it can be that easy, Google can't be your doctor. And there's a reason why we go to 12 years of school, after high school to get extra training to do what we do. But unfortunately, Google, you can go down a dark path. So you're saying that when you left, if you needed to perform and have energy and recover, you just like, who do I use? Who do I go to? Right, right. And can I trust this person I Googled as like a mile down the street from me?

Yeah, exactly. How do you know even where to start? Right. And so, and then people are starting with maybe going into their primary care doctor, and it's like, that's not the type of doctor that's trained to deal with these types of, you know, multivariate issues that are very integrative problems that require integrative solutions. It's just not there. It's not set up that way.

Absolutely. Like, I am a medical doctor, an MD which we are trained in the allopathic method. And I've been a doctor for now 26 years. And I'm one of those offenders of being in a reactive health care environment and culture. Reactive means you. We're very great at preventing death and taking care of medical issues that are keeping you from dying, but we're not good at preventative care to prevent you from getting diabetes or prevent you from getting high blood pressure or even erectile dysfunction. And we're very good at, like, trying to figure things to treat them as you're dying. They have to be a happy medium. And unfortunately, the doctors are trained in that method and doing surgeries and doing medication to be preventative. You have to have extra training after you graduate from residency, which is specialized training. And that's how I started with my journey. So having said that, what was the biggest challenge that you find the best care for yourself?

Yeah, I mean, I think we kind of touched on it a little bit, trying to figure out who to trust and where to go. Right.

So how do you ended up figuring it out? Or that's. Is that when you created vitality Rx?

Yeah, exactly. And that's the thing. It's like, also, I get asked this question all the time by friends and family and stuff, like, what kind of doctor would I go to for such and such? Right. It's like a lot of people don't even know where to necessarily start. And so that's, I think, the biggest thing. But then, you know, how do you know if you're going to a doctor that isn't really trained in preventative medicine, that doesn't really have any maybe nutrition training at all? Right. How do you know that the opinion that they're giving you or what they're telling you is not based in facts? Right. Or not the whole story? How, as a normal layperson, how would you ever be able to fact check some information that you're being given by a doctor who you trust? Right. So, like, it's a very tricky thing to navigate and there has to be some element and component of trust there. And so my answer to that would be who are the types of doctors like yourself that have taken it upon themselves to learn these more integrative approaches to problems? Right. Not just the prescription writers. That would be where I would start. Right. Like who's giving me answers that have, okay, here's some laundry list of steps that you can take and here's some building blocks. And this is how we're going to hit it from this side. Maybe the mental health component of it. This is how we're going to hit it from the physical health component of it. Right. This is how we're going to kind of balance and optimize diet and lifestyle and those kind of things. I think that just became obvious that there was a big need for that. And then to take it one step further with men, it's just impossible to get us to go to the doctor or to put any, put forth a lot of effort, effort towards our own health. It's just one of those things. Right. So it's like VitalidRx was born out of a need to try to remove as many of those barriers as possible and increase the access and just make it super simple and streamlined to be able to provide diagnostics based care without somebody having to put themselves out too much.

Wonderful. It's wonderful that you provide that safe and valuable base. So the next question is, what's the biggest challenges that are facing men today as they relate to their sexual health?

Well, I think, I mean, would you say that the vast majority of ED is mental?

I think it is interrelated. I think if you really want to break it down, it's really more 90% physical and 10% psychologically. If you're going to say a primary cause of the edge, but you can have a physical cause of ED, like decreased blood flow because you're smoking, because you're obese, and then you're not able to perform one time and then that lead to a couple of times and the next time you're thinking about it, it becomes psychological.

Exactly.

And then the vicious cycle that starts so it interrelate. But if you're going to say the primary cause of ED, you're going to remove the physical factors, then it's really 10% psychological. But we know that psychological play into the physical part because the brain is a larger sexual organ. That has always been my biggest idea. Brains are probably the largest organ for really a lot of things. Right. For physical performance, all Starts in the brain, in mindset and goal setting and action. Right. And consistency and belief. It's all in the brain, and so is sexual.

But also. But also, though, the hormones are produced and regulated in the brain.

That's right.

I mean, there's receptors in your gut, but I mean, the hypothalamus and pituitary are part of your brain. That's what's producing and regulating hormones. So, like, I think, to answer your question, I think. I think based on my own personal experience, the mental component of it, I think, is a largely overlooked aspect of it. But like you said, I think it's probably maybe less the cause and more a compounding problem that it creates. But I think at the root of it, at least what we believe kind of at vitality, Rx, is that endocrine dysfunction and just hormonal imbalances and having your hormones not optimized, I think, is, I would say, the most foundational component that is suffering. Because I think what we've also found is that most men have some kind of endocrine dysfunction and have hormonal imbalances that are being left unchecked and untreated.

And why do you say that?

Well, I think a little bit based on what I was saying earlier about how hard it is to get men to go to the doctor in the first place. But if you have never gotten your hormone levels checked, how would you know if that is an issue for you? Right. Like, obviously, just testosterone alone. Right. Is responsible for so many functions in the body, from energy to libido to recovery to mood. I mean, all of these things affect sexual function. Right? And so if that number is low, or if the total number is low, but if the amount of free testosterone that your body has is low, then you're going to have problems. You're going to have those kind of problems and those kind of symptoms. There's really no avoiding that. And I think it's getting worse and worse, faster and faster because of the quality of the food, how much more processed foods people are eating, the quality of the water, the air quality, the plastics that are in all the containers and the water. I mean, there's so many things now that are around now that weren't around 10, 20 years ago that are just wreaking havoc on that entire endocrine system and in turn, the hormones.

Right. Chad said that the endocrine system starts in the brain, is really central command, but the endocrine system is influenced by your lifestyle, how much sleep you have, your stress, smoking, alcohol, what you're eating and how much you're exercising and then the other modern day conveniences, I think the air pollution and the plastic that has BPA in it, which then mimic other hormones like the endocrine disruptors and, and the hormones that's injected into the meat that you eat to make animals bigger, those are the things that will disrupt imbalances and particularly men, because it's so much that men internalize their distress and their feelings and oftentimes I'm just talking from the, treating a lot of men and my husband with women, when we're stressed, we hang out with our girlfriends and we express it out and we talk about it and we have an outlet versus men. You don't show your weakness to other men and with other women we're good at crying on each other's shoulders and venting. But with other men it shows, it's a sign of weakness. So you internalize your stress and your feelings and express it out in other ways. Not to mention the inactivity. Because now with technology binging on the series of Netflix and also video games, you know, reality games as well too, that really prevent you from being active, enjoying nature. Because the incidence of ED now is more so than ever compared to the 1800s. It's not because the human species didn't really change, it's just that our lifestyle has changed a lot. We know that procreation had gone on for hundreds and thousands of years to continue humankind, it hasn't changed at all. So part that you brought up is a big important part is that hormone imbalances almost in all of us, even women as well too. That's why we're seeing women having disrupted menstrual cycles and more incidents of pcos and infertility in men and in women because. Yeah, and men imbalances. That's right, because of the imbalances as well. So. And part of that is ed. You know, having ED is a sign of imbalance of not only hormone, but just an imbalance in the body. And it's a warning sign. That's a great, you know, his body's not doing well.

It's a check engine light, right? Yeah, it's a check engine light, right? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. It's part of the aua, they call it ADAM questionnaire. That's a clinical survey that urologists give men when they're trying to diagnose a potential hormone problem. And that's one of the questions, you know, sexual issues, erectile dysfunction, those kind of things. It's a Great, great indicator and something to pay attention to and not just throw Viagra or Cialis at. If your check engine lights on, you don't just like pour a bucket of water on your hood, right? You know, your engine start, you don't just pour a bucket, you open the hood and you see, okay, what are the things that are going wrong here, right? Because everything's kind of connected, you know, so if the carburetor is messed up and that's, you know, changing how the converter is working, you know, there's all different types of avenues that can go and each one is just as important as the other, right? It's, it's very, very seldom is it a silver bullet type of situation and a quick fix. Well, I will say in men, it's very interesting because, because of how testosterone works in men, it's the master regulator of the hormones, right? So when testosterone is balanced and at an optimal level, it's kind of the rising tide that raises all boats. And testosterone gets villainized a lot because it tends to be only mentioned in men's health in the same sense as testosterone replacement therapy, which I think has become, for lack of a better term, abused in a lot of medical settings. As far as hormone therapy is concerned, it's kind of very similar to the equivalent of someone coming in and having ed. And the first and only thing you do is prescribe them some Cialis, right? Same thing. Someone comes in and their hormone levels are imbalanced, and the first and only thing you do is prescribe them testosterone replacement therapy. You know, that's a problem. That's a band aid. That's not gonna fix anything, right? Yes, it might be necessary and it might be a last resort that you wanna look into, but only after you've addressed all these other things. And we were talking about this earlier, but it kind of brings up that point around the whole biohacking movement, right? And those things that are being talked about and this supplement or this ice plunge or that, this, that and the other, those. A lot of those things, they, they're definitely helpful and can be helpful. But if you're focusing your energy on these little cool tricks and not just on the fundamentals, then you're not going to get nearly the same effect as you potentially could get. If you pay attention to the baseline foundational components of the things that you mentioned earlier. Diet, exercise, stress management, nutrition, you know, obviously, as a nutrition and supplementation as it relates to diet, those kind of things, right? Can get you from a, or five to a seven or eight. And then you can try some of those other modalities that will actually be a lot more.

I like the way how you, you explained it and I really like about it is that, you know, when you hear about the biohacker guy that are, you know, doing cold plunge or doing red light therapy or doing peptides, injections and so forth, they're already at an 8 or 9 level out of 10 and they're just pushing, you know, to get that 10% more. But if you're low in testosterone and manifesting as symptoms of, you know, low libido, fatigue, weight gain, moodiness, not able to sleep and not able to focus, and of course, you know, Ed, and then you want to work at the foundation, or Chad says it's really, you know, diet, exercise, sleep, stop smoking and moderate your alcohol content and just, you know, realizing the stress level. Those are the foundations. So I have the six systems and those what I put that at, you know, level one as a pyramid. And the lifestyle modification should be the first step. That is the foundation. Start with that first. And then you will see changes and talking earlier that now in your program, you have a recommendation on how to boost testosterone naturally. Can you go over that more?

Yeah. So a lot of that is geared around what we just talked about, around diet and lifestyle. Right. So what are the things that you can do yourself, like getting better and more sleep and eating the rainbow and the Mediterranean diet style of eating healthy fats, getting rid of seed oils, those kind of things in your diet, then potentially filling in some of the gaps in your diet with supplementation. A big thing and something that's near and dear to my heart because it's something I've been dealing with a lot is stress management. And I think that gets brushed over a lot. And you kind of just say, oh, well, I'm not going to meditate. Like, that's for yogis. And there's some very scientific components of that. Right. I mean, I think you probably could say better than I as a, as an md but, you know, cortisol, like prolonged spikes in cortisol can cause all kinds of problems. I've dealt with it with gut issues, I've dealt with it with hormone issues that it causes downstream. I mean, it doesn't, I think, I'm pretty sure cortisol is downstream. I mean, it depresses the production of testosterone. Right. So you do need cortisol like you need cortisol. It spikes when you work out and things like that. And you want to put yourself in high stress situations sometimes, and you want to be adaptable and that kind of deal. But if it's chronic, right, that's when it starts causing the problems. So it's just things like that. So it's addressing those diet and lifestyle components first. And then our types of hormone wellness programs that we do, we like to, if we are introducing a prescription pharmaceutical, the purpose of it is to boost your body's natural production of, let's say, testosterone or to maybe block the X, the conversion of excess testosterone to estrogen or things like that. And then while we're supporting the system with these other components and blending that and creating a synergistic effect with certain types of vitamins and minerals and things like that is just a much more holistic and integrative way to approach it.

Absolutely. But it takes work, it takes dedication, and it doesn't occur overnight. Some of my patients, I would tell them, you know, your ED didn't occur overnight. Your ED occur over years, sometimes decade, to be in this state right now that you're taking Viagra, Cialis, nothing's happening. But getting your erection back isn't going to occur overnight. You're going to have to put some work into it. And they try for a week later, and they call me back and they go, oh, I don't have ed. It's only been a week.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you got to put your ego aside a little bit, too, right? Like when you're dealing with it, because I think that's a big component of it, especially for men. Right. The ego thing. Like, you know, let's say you're with your partner and you go see Dr. Truong and you're really excited about this solution. It's going to get rid of your ad, and then you're with your partner that night and maybe a couple of times that week, and it's really not working. That's a big blow to your ego. Right? Like you not showing up in the way that you want to show up. That's something that you're going to have to talk about with your partner. You're going to have to be able to vocalize and verbalize that this is a process and that, you know, you can turn that into a strength. I promise you, you can turn being open and honest about that and approaching it in a methodical and very disciplined way. You can turn that into a strength. And I promise you, your partner will appreciate that a lot more then, oh, I'm sorry, it just doesn't work.

Right. I like the way how you Say that if she cares about you, she would appreciate about that as well too. But oftentimes it's hard for men to verbalize that. It's hard for men to be attuned to their emotions. And I want to ask you that question. Why is it so hard for men to be attuned to your emotion? When. To be attuned when you feel angry, when you feel sad, when you feel hurt, when you feel depressed. Why is that so hard for men to listen to their bodily function and connect it to their brain and go, okay, I'm feeling sad, I'm feeling hurt.

I'm not going to speak for all men here, but I think I can say from my own personal experience, I think whether it's self induced or not, I think a lot of men put a lot of pressure on themselves to be the rock and the provider and the leader. Right. And that gets confused a little bit with not being able to be vulnerable and show weakness. Right. And I think society kind of is set up in a way that celebrates strength and power and success and really, really comes down pretty hard and criticizes weakness. So I think men are, besides just feeling a lot of pressure and a lot of stress, are just very hesitant to expose themselves and to show weakness. I think it's a really big thing, whether it's conscious or self, conscious or subconscious. I'm sorry.

Right. And what are they afraid of? They're afraid of being ridiculed or being ashamed.

I think it's just like guys want to be the man. You want to be the man, Right? Like you want to show up and you want to be seen as being, having it all in control and being powerful and being strong and being able to provide and being able to be a leader. Right. And so any little chink in the armor like that I think can be a little bit scary to admit. Like I said, whether it's conscious or subconscious, I'm even talking about admitting it to yourself. Right. Let alone to someone else.

Interesting. When you were growing up, how'd you learn about sex? Who told you about it?

Self experimentation.

Friend?

No. Yeah, yeah. Friends. Yeah, yeah. In the locker room. Yeah. No, not my parents. No. Never had the birds and the birds and the bees conversation. It was all just fumbling my way through it, learning from my own experience and mistakes and friends.

The reason why I asked that is because it's such an important innate thing for us as a human being and sexuality is part of who we are and something and joyful, and that's how we came about anyway. But yet it's something that is so shameful that is not discussed that it, you have to kind of wiggle your way through, find out through your own, either through friends or like you said, experimentation.

And when it is discussed, I mean, kids are so like harsh. Right. And when it is discussed, the only thing that anybody's ever talking about are the good things. And everybody's hyping themselves up and pretty much lying to each other. Right. Because they just don't want to get made fun of. Because kids are brutal. Right. And so you're trying to establish yourself in that pecking order and you're obviously going to present yourself in the best light by possible before you're like really fully, emotionally mature enough. I mean, we're talking about, these things that we're talking about are EQ and emotional maturity that it takes to say, you know, it's okay for me to have some weaknesses and have some chinks in the armor. And these are problems that men a lot of times never grow out of, let alone a 15, 16, 17 year old kid.

Right. And seeing more men in their 20s and early 30s with ED, that age, you know, you're not going to get the physical causes of ed, like high blood pressure or high cholesterol or diabetes unless you have type 1 diabetes. But you know that age is more of the psychological component of like porn and you know, vaping, smoking, diet, exercise, not so much because, you know, your.

Body is pretty resilient because your hormones are balanced.

Yeah.

When you're, when you're young, they're at their peak.

When you're young, they're at their peak.

Right. When you're young.

Yeah.

Yeah. But that's why you're at your peak, because your hormone levels are all firing on all cylinders. So you recover faster, you're more resilient, like all that stuff. Yeah. So that's not the issue is psychological for sure, when you're younger. And social media and porn.

Social media and porn. It's an easier way. I actually interview a couple of guys that were addicted to porn and just easier watch porn than to deal with. And he was married. He was married and he had ED from porn. Not like he couldn't, but it's. For him it was just easier to get sexual satisfaction through porn than to have sex with his wife and have a relationship with her. And it ended his marriage. But not the amount of porn. It's really the shame and disruption of porn on their life that become problematic and causing ed. And it's all about dopamine. Receptor stimulation. When they're watching porn, they get the dopamine release in their brain like an 8 over 10 level. And then when they're with a real person, that dopamine releases that maybe a 5 over 10 level. So they're not getting that high. That feel me good. So that. That's why they're. They're not getting that erection. So therefore they have ED because they're used to getting a dopamine at an 8 over 10.

Yeah.

Porn.

I have another little interesting theory about the porn and ED situation. I think there's also a component around when a guy is watching porn and he's masturbating. Right. Like he's doing exactly what he knows will get him off. Right. I think it's obviously the same for men and women. Right. But I think there's a hesitance to do that when a guy is with his partner or having sex with another person. I think there potentially is a little bit of a block there because maybe that doesn't look cool or maybe that's not what they think they're supposed to be doing for a laundry list of potential reasons. Maybe also one of them, like having the vulnerability to be able to express like this is the exact thing that I like because maybe that doesn't seem cool or maybe that feel like that's not going to be accepted or that that will show some kind of a weakness. I think that's a really interesting component of it that I don't hear talked about a lot.

You're right. Because you yourself knows what's pleasant for you and it's satisfactory. But yet that don't want to express that to your partner during the sexual.

For one reason or another. Exactly. I think that kind of goes both ways. Right. Men and women, you know, the main.

Thing'S all about communication isn't.

Is that's all it comes down to, right?

Yeah. It's all about. It's about communication and trust of two people, whether it's a man or a woman or a man or man or woman and woman. It's about communication and trust in each other to be able to share your vulnerability and even your pleasure. Pleasure point. And your vulnerability to be able be emotionally attuned to how you're feeling. And I really think is key to the relationship we know, as I'm treating men with ed, is that if they have ed, the woman also have ed, the female version of ed, because she's not getting stimulated as well too. She knows he has ed. She's not talking it to him because she doesn't want to make him feel bad, right? She's supporting him, but she's trying to pretend it doesn't exist. So that way he doesn't feel uncomfortable or being less of a man. So no one's talking to each other. But what I try to stress to guys, a guy you're listening to this, that if you're not having sex with your partner or your wife or your partner, you're both having sexual dysfunction, all right? That's not you. It's your partner as well, because she's not getting stimulated. She therefore she's not getting lubricated, therefore her vaginal tissue atrophy, all right? And it's getting less stimulated. So there's a thing, you know, you don't use it, you lose it. You're not getting sensitized, you're not getting stimulated. She's having decreased libido as well, too. Tai Chi men getting their sexual function back. They could having more sex with their partner. And they both come in happy, and the woman comes in and tells me, oh, my God, you know, now that we're having sex again, I'm enjoying it more. Doesn't hurt like it used to. She's getting more lubrication. She's able to orgasm like she wasn't before because she's getting revitalized with the interaction. The ED is really involved. Two people, not just one person, but nobody talking to each other. And that's what I observed too, is with the woman, is that the woman really synergistically improve with the man as he improved, but at the same time can go downward as well to her sexuality. That's not something that discuss a lot. But what I kind of see is working with couples, and as you know, they go through this, their sexual health restoration journey together, and that I see the marriage, they become closer together. We're not talking about sex. When you connect physically, you also connect emotionally as well, too. Having said that, and we have so many things in common, I can ask you a bunch of questions. What is your sexual tip that you can give to our audience?

I think the first thing that comes to mind and something that's helped me in the past, because I can tend to get in my head a lot, is to kind of take a deep breath and ground myself and be really present, right? And like, if it takes being really still and really present, then that's what it takes. Sometimes I'll kind of repeat in my mind, like, this is what this feels like. It kind of brings me into the moment a lot more and just kind of into my body and out of my mind. That's always been a little tip or trick that I've used.

When you say this is what it feels like, what does that mean?

Well, I'll just describe the feeling, right. Like whether it's the feeling on my penis or whether it's the touch or something that's happening that's going on. I'll just kind of describe how that's feeling and like. Like tap into how that's feeling in my body and give it words and give it some kind of a value and that you can't think of too many things at the same time. So if you focus on thinking about something that's happening right now, then you can't possibly be thinking about, like, oh, my God, what does my partner think? And I'm embarrassed or anything, anything else. And so I found that to be pretty effective. Yeah. And it actually kind of helps in life too. Right. Like when things get crazy all around, like, just kind of drop in and, like, just feel into your body and get yourself out of your head a little bit. It can help a lot. And that's kind of my form of meditation.

Wonderful. I love that. Be in the moment and get out of your head and focus on the moment. Focus on what's going on. Focus on how you're sensing the touch and the feeling and focus on your partner. And that way you can get out of your head, right? Yeah.

Yeah. Not your partner. Don't focus on your partner. Focus on yourself.

You know, you're focusing on the feeling on yourself and how you're feeling yourself.

Yeah. If you're worried too much about what your partner is thinking or what's going on. I'm not saying ignore your partner, obviously, like, this is a mental exercise and you can do it while you're kind of in the act. But that's what typically for me at least, is like, I'm thinking too much about my partner or the situation or what it's going to mean or what the implications are or whatever. And then, so if I can kind of turn that inwards from my head and push it down into my body, then that always helps.

Join at least athlete, a pro football player. Been in the New England Patriots team. There's women and your partner have a dis image of you in a certain way, and you feel like you have to meet that high expectation when you are with them. That's pretty stressful.

We're getting deep. We're getting deep here, Doc. I'D say there's an element of that, for sure. Yeah. I think being used to kind of identifying as being a high performer and being a successful and alpha male, I think. Yeah, I think there's a bit of ego in that, for sure.

You find that? That's hard to me, yeah.

Well, we talk about, like, a lot of ED and sexual dysfunction, like, when you're in a look with your partner, with your wife. But think about when you're single, right? And like, you don't have a lot of opportunities if you're just starting to date someone or something like that, and something like this pops up. Might be that. That might be. It might be a wrap, right? So there's even more pressure and even less communication at that point, right? What if it's like the first time you're having sex or the second or third time you're having sex, right? You're not going to, like, go into, like, okay, let me show you this weakness, and are you willing to work. Work through it with me together? And things like. That's a really daunting thing, right? And so to use a terrible football euphemism for this, but, like, you know, you want to show up and show out if you have a limited amount of opportunities, right? You want to impress, and that becomes a thing, too. So I think there's definitely a component of that, and then that can just become ingrained in your psyche.

You almost have performance anxiety almost, right? You've got a performance at top level, and you may not be at your peak level because you're distracted at every, you know, maybe other things with your contract or whatever. You may not, but you. But you have this expectation you have to meet. How do you overcome that performance anxiety?

I think realizing that it's all in your own head, right? And it really doesn't matter, like, we're all human. I think, like, reminding yourself that that's a component of it and that having some kind of sexual dysfunction or really having any kind of weakness is. Doesn't make you weak, you know, or doesn't make you less of a man. So I think, like, dealing with the performance anxiety has a lot to do with getting a lot more comfortable in your own skin, right? Like, yeah, maybe that is the first time you're having sex with a potential partner, right? On a date or something like that. But you know what? Like, if that happens, anxiety is the space between things that are happening and the way that you want them to happen in, right? That it's. It's that space, right? Like Be between, like, reality and the way that you want reality to be. If you can close that gap and just realize that it's all actually only one thing. It's just reality. It doesn't matter what you want it to be or what you think of it or what anyone else thinks of it. And that, listen, this. That's very, very much easier said than done. Right? Like, it's very hard to always think that way. But I think just. Just being able to kind of have that in the back of your mind and remind yourself that in the end, it is what it is. Reality is reality. Everybody's human, everybody has faults and weaknesses. Things happen. Sometimes things are great, sometimes things are not great. Like, you know, it just is what it is, and you just be comfortable with your own self and your own experience, and that's all you can really do.

Well said. Well said. And I'm glad you answered that question because I know you have groupies that follow you, that beautiful, you know, women that, you know, want to get close to a professional athlete, and that must be stressful, you know, and to have that high expectation of performance, you know, athlete or super performance in the field, super performance in the bedroom. Right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's been a long time since I've identified as an, as a, as a professional athlete, so I think that's largely lost on me at this point. But it's 100%. What you're saying does make sense and is definitely true. But I think, like, there's levels to it, right. And I think every man is going through some kind of aversion of that in their head at some point or another, right?

Absolutely. And I think that performance anxiety, the biggest issue working with men with ED is that even when they're working with me and I'm able, that I give them stem cell and optimize their hormones and shockwave therapy, all this stuff. And, you know, the blood flow is good, you're having morning erection, doing great. But when they're with the partner, they still have ED because it's still in their head. That there's ingrained in their head that, oh, I'm going to need that Viagra. I can't perform. I have to be rock hard and I need to go for three hours straight and I need to be at this level. I have to tell them, I said, you know, you have to kind of take it down a notch and just give yourself some, some space here. And oftentimes they don't spend enough time, foreplay and work into it, and they Just got to be ready within five minutes. And they have to take their med even though they're working well. Because if guys, if you're having morning wood, you are working well. It's just. You need to kind of tweak things a little bit. That's the best thing. You're having morning wood, but it's working. Your plumbing's working. Just that you need. Maybe you need to optimize the diet or your sleep or what you're eating and some exercise. Then you'll be able to get your erection back again. But they don't realize that I'm having morning wood, but I'm not able to perform. I need my Viagra. That dependency of using the medication as your crutch is such a big thing to get over. I'm working with a couple of my patients right now that I'm trying to get them off of the medication, but it's so difficult because there's. They depend upon it so much over the years that it's hard for them to detox from it.

Yep.

Detox from ED medication.

Yeah, I can. Yeah, I totally can relate to that. I think for sure that's a big thing, and I think I just keep coming back to it. But I think the mental aspect of it and being able to get out of your head is a really, really important tool. And it's something that has to be. It's a muscle that has to be like, same as you go to the gym, right? Like, you got to practice being able to get out of your head in life. All the way across the board. Right? Like, that will always serve you. And that's why meditation has become so popular and it's so important. And if you think about it like it's just some woo woo thing, then you're not getting the point. The ability to take a beat, block out all the kind of external things and quiet your mind and be where your feet are is a superpower. I'm telling you, when you're talking about sexual function all the way to business, to athletics, anything you want to put up there, I'll challenge you to come up with, you know, a reason that that's not true.

Absolutely. And I'm so glad that you stress meditation, because a lot of guys, including my husband, think that meditation is woo woo. I actually try to get him to. I mean, he's open to it if I make him, but he would do it on his own. He wouldn't do it on his own. He wouldn't do yoga in his own. He'll do if I make him do it. And you stress that. Why do we stress meditation? Let me hear from you. Why do you think meditation is so crucial for your health as well as your sexual health?

For the reason that I just said, like being able to kind of get out of your head and drop in your body and be present and be still. I think clinically that's a superpower, but physiologically it's a way to balance and optimize your hormones. I mean, we were talked earlier about cortisol, right? And cortisol blunting testosterone and chronically elevated levels of cortisol causing compromised immune system and metabolic function and hormones and all that good stuff, all that bad stuff. I think, you know, when you look at meditation's effect on just cortisol alone, the science is there. Like that's not woo woo. There's real studies that have studied the effect of that. And you can study the effect of elevated, chronically elevated levels of cortisol on all of those physiological functions.

Absolutely. And in fact, cortisol is a driver of cortisone. In fact, the first thing I correct is lowering, trying to lower cortisol through supplements and meditation and stress reduction. Because cortisol is the highest in the morning when you want it to be high. So that way you're ready to deal with the activities of the day and the emotional and physical demands of the day. So it's highest around 6am, it starts to start dropping around actually 3pm so it looked high like that. Around 3pm start to drop. And it should be the lowest at 10pm well, why is that? That you need to sleep at 10pm to 6am in order for your body to sleep in order for you to heal that your body heals from 10pm to 6am physical and emotional healing. That's when your body makes more hormone at nighttime. That's when for men, that's when your testicle make more testosterone. But the testicle is regulated by the hormone in your brain, the pituitary with FSH and lh, mainly LH for testosterone. So it's really the brain that regulate that. But your brain gotta heal when you're sleeping. That's why sleep is important. And cortisol has to decrease in order for you to sleep. Because your cortisol is high, you can't sleep, you'll be too hyper.

Exactly. And that's just cortisol.

Melatonin. Yeah, that's just cortisol.

Yeah. What about inflammation? Right? Like we haven't even talked about that. Right. That's really big culprit too. You got inflammation in the brain that's going to affect all of those mechanisms as well.

And inflammation really come from toxin that causes endothelial damage. Endothelial damage is the lining of the blood vessels that bring blood to every organ, every cell in your body. And that means that you're just not getting enough oxygen to the necessary organization for function. So that's why I didn't even have time to even talk about inflammation. We can talk about it all day long. But that all goes back to the foundation, right? What you eat, you are what you eat. Right? You are what you eat. And your exercise and stress level, smoking and alcohol and stress are the main foundation of that. So having said that, where can our audience find more information about your company, Vitality or.

Yeah, well, I think the important thing to start with, to answer that is, you know, we're not in the business of selling specific type of treatment program. Right. I think most companies out there in this space are. And whatever their process is or just the hoops that you have to jump through in order to get what they are selling as a prescription. Much more focused on the diagnostic component because we believe what gets measured gets managed. And we believe everybody should take more control of their own health by knowing their biomarkers. Right. And there's some very key critical biomarkers for men's health that if you can set a baseline for and create a little bit of an understanding so that you can compare yourself against yourself and then also measure any of these other. Even if it's just you're measuring the impact of a change in your diet or some kind of a change in your lifestyle. Right? Like, you won't be able to do that unless you know your numbers. So that's kind of our motto. But our website, vitalityrx.com has a lot of information around those kinds of things. You can do that. And you click Get Optimized and it'll take you to a landing page that talks about this brand new revolutionary type of in home test kit that's completely painless. It's a little disc that you stick on your shoulder and click the button.

Oh, okay.

After a couple of minutes, draws a little sample of blood into the device, peel it off your shoulder, throw it in the box and send it in. And from that we can get a little panel on your hormones and a PSA test to test for prostate cancer. So that's the starting point for everything that we do. That's what we encourage everybody to kind of start with. We can talk about what we recommend down the road, but only after we see the full picture that those biomarkers and some of your symptoms and goals and your lifestyle kind of all lead into and inform those recommendations. Sorry, that was a long, a long.

Answer to that question.

VitalityRx.com is the place that you go, right?

The place where you go if you want to have more vitality, have more sexual performance and just really more longevity at this times. And thank you for creating a space like that. You know, we have an online coaching program for men with, with ED as well too. And I'll be looking forward to kind of finding out more about that and looking forward to talking with you more. So thank you for being here with me today and we had great conversation and okay, modern man. I hope you get some pearls from this. I will see you in the next episode. Hello there. What an amazing sex life. This free gift is going to give you more sex by helping you get harder and lasting longer. Let's talk about the most sensitive subject, the effect that aging has on your sex life. If you're over 40, there's about 67% chance that you have to deal with one or more of these issues. You sometimes go soft in the middle of sex. You sometimes have trouble lasting long enough to climax. Your erection just doesn't feel as hard as it used to be and your penis is not as sensitive as it used to be. You cannot reach orgasm or ejaculate. You sometimes have trouble getting an erection. These things lead to frustration and embarrassment when you cannot please your partner. My name is Dr. Ann Truong and I've been treating men for issue like this for over 25 years. As a board certified medical doctor who specializes in men's health, I helped over 7,000 men reverse the effect of ED. As a way to introduce you to the ED treatment that I offer, I want to give you the most incredible free gift ever. But let the fact that this free gift fool you. This powerful gift will help you get harder and stay and last longer and may just revolutionize your sex life, making sex more exciting, more thrilling and an amazing experience again. How is that? Well, here's what you're going to get in this most incredible free gift. Number one, a Good morning wood smoothie recipe. This is my specially formulated antioxidant recipe that will help you get harder and stay in stimulating more blood flow. It is formulated to increase your nitrous oxide level, which is one of the biggest keys to making you harder and firmer more often and will also help you last longer. It is filled with lots of greens that create more nitrous oxide in your blood. This smoothie will give you that morning wood effect and will also make you harder on demand when you need it most and you'll see the effect in about several weeks. Number two Nitrous Oxide Testing strip. You will also get two of these strips which you will use along with simple instructions to test your nitrous oxide level in your saliva. Nitrous oxide is a gas, has it in your body and is required for good blood flow to the organ. The strip can determine if your nitric oxide are deficient which can help us advise you on the best way to reverse your ed. Even more important since since ED is an early warning sign of problems with circulation and heart health, this can also be a great way to prevent heart related problem such as strokes and heart attack. Number three and the best part of all, a 30 day free trial access to the Modern Man Club as part of our mission to make men hard again, we launched the Modern Man Club as a way to provide education and support to community of men who's on the path to reversing their ED with pre recorded and live session being offered every week Week I will help men regain sexual health through training support. I will be there all the way with you to hold your hand through so that way you can overcome ED and have your best sex life members rave about this session and the sense of community they gain by being a member of the Modern Man Club. And all you have to do is to say maybe to this offer and once you say maybe you will be on your way to a more fulfilling and exciting sex life. So all you have to do is fill it down the form below and then I will see you on the inside. Thanks for listening to the Sexual Health for Men podcast. If you love this episode then please take a screenshot on your phone and post it on Facebook, Instagram or wherever you post and be sure to tag me and let me know why you like this episode and what you like to hear in the future that will help me know what's great for you. And I would love to give you the most incredible free gift designed to help you improve performance quickly. Go to my website@sexualhealthformenpodcast.com to get the book the Five Common Costly Mistakes Men Make When Facing Ed. I would appreciate it if you subscribe. Please subscribe a review on Apple Podcast or wherever you listen and just know that you can have sexual vitality for life. I appreciate you until next time.