How To Make Life Changing Decisions: A $1.8B Warning
In this motivational talk, the speaker recounts his journey from a discontented childhood on a dairy farm in Stillwell, Oklahoma, through a planned career path of college, Marine Corps officer training, and a government job, to a pivotal moment in May 1991 when his father was diagnosed with cancer. Faced with the choice of continuing his ambitions or returning home, he resigns from the Marine program, drops out of school, and takes over the family farm to support his ailing father. The strained father‑son relationship, marked by physical fights and emotional distance, culminates in a tragic lack of reconciliation; the speaker’s attempts to express love and pride are cut short by his father's death. Reflecting on this loss, he emphasizes that decisions should be guided by the life one wants, not merely circumstance, and urges listeners to honor their parents with gratitude and love before it’s too late. He then shares how he later built a massive real‑estate financing empire, funding over $1.8 billion across roughly 6,000 deals in a decade, framing his success as a tribute to his father's legacy. The talk concludes with a direct challenge to the audience to make decisive, heartfelt actions toward their families and personal aspirations.
Chapters
In May of 1991, I received a phone call that would change my life forever. See, what I want to talk to you about today is a very profound word, and that is the word decisions. The decisions that you make will shape your life, but the life that you want should shape your decisions. And in May of 1991, I received a phone call that forced me to make a decision that reshaped my life forever. See, I grew up in a small town just right outside of, of Tulsa, a town called Stillwell, Oklahoma. Very small town, 3,500. You guys may have heard of it. We were known as the strawberry capital of the world. We're also known as the marijuana capital of the world. Um, but it was a small town. I grew up on a dairy farm and I hated it. I absolutely hated it. Hated every second of every minute of every day of that. I wanted out. I wanted something more than milking cows at 4 in the morning. Something more than being home every night at 3:30 in the afternoon to milk cows. Twice a day, 7 days a week. I wanted more. And so the minute I turned 18 and I graduated from that small town in Stillwell, I moved out and I started my life, started my career, started my future. And that future was to be a government agent, whether it be CIA, whether it be Secret Service. That's what I wanted to be. So I got into college. I enrolled in college. As a criminal justice major with a poli— political science minor. And I believed that if I got that degree and then I went into the military as an officer and worked embassies, that I would work my way up into the government. So the goal was to get into college, get my degree, and then come out and be an officer in the military. So I applied my junior year. I applied to be an officer with the Marine Corps and was accepted into the Officer Candidate Training. And so between my junior year and my senior, that summer, I was scheduled to go to San Diego, California to boot camp. And I would go through that 8-week training. I would come out of boot camp, go back, finish my senior year, get my degree, and then be immediately enrolled into the Marine Corps as a second lieutenant and start my career. It was all planned out. It was my vision. It was my goal. It was my aspiration. Because my entire life I'd been told I would never become anything. I would never amount to anything. In fact, there was many, many times that while I was in college, my dad would say, I'm not paying for this. If you're going to do this, you got to do this on your own. You got to pay your own bills. You got to pay your own tuition. I said, not a problem. Because see, I knew how great I was. I knew what I wanted out of life. And there was nothing going to stop me from achieving that. And so I enrolled in college. I paid my own tuition. I paid my own rent. I paid everything. And I was going to prove to the world how great I was because I had my own dreams, my own visions, and nobody was going to influence those. And so I'd gotten through my junior year. I was all scheduled to go to San Diego to go through that stupid 8 weeks of training, and then I was gonna come out, graduate, and go right into the military as an officer, and my career was gonna be launched. My dreams were gonna be achieved. But 2 weeks before I was to ship off, I received a call. And that call was from my stepbrother saying that my dad had been diagnosed with cancer. Now, I was very upset that my own dad didn't call me, but that wasn't the issue. The issue was, is my dad had been diagnosed with cancer and all my brothers and all my sisters— I grew up with 4 brothers and 4 sisters. I was the youngest of the boys. And they had all either gotten married or started careers, but now my dad had been diagnosed with this cancer and we still had a ranch. And it was left up to my mother to have to fend for it. I didn't have a great relationship with my dad. In fact, I had a terrible relationship with my dad. Hated it. He was the first man to ever break my nose. We fought 24/7, and it wasn't just arguments. It was fistfights. It was, it was knockdown drag-outs. We literally acted as if we hated each other, and that's one of the reasons why I wanted to get out, and I wanted to become something because I didn't want to be what he was. I didn't want to be what he had become. I wanted to be different. I wanted to be more. I knew there was more in me. And that's why I had this vision and this plan and this aspiration. And so that's what I wanted to do. But I got this call 2 weeks before stating that he'd been diagnosed with cancer. And I pondered upon what was the right thing to do. And I made a decision a few days later that changed my entire life. I made a decision to resign that position with the Marine Corps. I made a decision to leave school and go home back to that place that I hated, that I despised. To maybe make a difference. See, I made a decision that would impact my life, but I wanted my life to impact my decisions. But I had to make a decision right then and there and then realize what the outcome would become. And I went back to that farm and I sat down with my mother, my stepmother, my dad, and told them I was here. I was going to help take care of the place. And while he was going through cancer treatment, while he was going through all this, I had his back. That I would take care of the cows and the hay, the rabbits and all that need to be dealt with day in, day out. I was there. I was giving all that up to come take care of this. And he said, you know, that's great, but I can't pay. You have to get a job. And so I did. And he went through the treatments. He went through cancer. And every day we continue to fight. See, I thought that if I went back and did this, I could make amends, that I could reignite that father-son relationship that we never had, that maybe we were both older, mature, and we could overcome and now become the father and the son that I wanted us to be always. And every day I worked on that ranch and every day he complained and every day he went through treatments and 8 or 6 months into this, The cancer got so bad that he was transported from Tahlequah to Fort Smith, which was now an hour and a half away from where we lived. And I would go to that hospital at night and I would tell him what's going on with the ranch or the cattle or the horses or the rabbits. And all we do is complain that I didn't do this, I should have done that. And there was never any good ever coming from this. And finally, one day the doctor comes in and says, hey, We're going to have to put your father through an experimental treatment. We're going to have to shoot him full of chemo. And this chemo is going to kill all the white blood cells. And it's going to be very strenuous for him and his body because he has no immune system. And it's going to be very tough. It's going to be very hard. And we just don't know what the outcome is going to be. And I had this sinking feeling that things weren't going to be great. but I never believed it would be the end or all for my father. And I left. I came back 2 days later, right before the day of the treatment, and I was giving him an update, and we got into another knock-down drag-out. We got into another I wasn't good enough fight. And I said, you know what, I'm done with this. I'm done with you. I'm done with this crap. I'm not going to do this anymore. I'm not coming back. I drive an hour and a half here at night to see you, to say hi, to tell you what's going on. All you do is bitch and complain, and I'm not doing this anymore. When you get done with this nonsense and you come home, we'll discuss it then, and we'll decide whether I'm gonna stick around. We'll decide what I'm gonna do for you anymore, because it's never enough. I'm never good enough, and I'm tired of fighting with you. And I slammed the door and I walked out. The next day they had the treatment and my father slipped into a coma. And I realized at that moment in time, for the first time in 6 months, the severity of the situation, the impact that it was having on him. And I realized at that moment in time, my dad wasn't mad at me. He was mad at life. He wasn't pissed off at the way I was doing things. He was pissed off at the way he had done things. And I went there and I said, God, give me 5 minutes with my dad. Give me 5 minutes. Give me 5 minutes to tell him I'm sorry. Give me 5 minutes to tell him how proud I am of him. Tell him how much I love him. Give me 5— I don't care if he lives or dies, Lord. Just give me 5 minutes to right the wrongs. Because see, I realized that all he wanted was for me to tell him that I loved him. For me to tell him how proud I was of him. For me to tell him that he is my hero. That's all he wanted. I realized it, and I said, Lord, just give me 5 minutes because I will make this right. Give me 5 minutes. I don't care if he lives or dies, but I need the 5 minutes. And for 8 days I sat there and I begged and I pleaded and I cried and I waited, and he died. I never got my 5 minutes. See, I realized in that moment in time that it wasn't about me anymore. It's my father needed me to give him strength, to acknowledge how much he had already sacrificed for me and that I was proud of him, that I loved him, and that I knew how great I was and I knew he knew how great I was. He just wanted me to love him and to share that with him, and I refused. See, in those 8 days, I realized that I made the right decision to come home, to make amends. But see, I didn't do anything with it. I didn't take advantage of it. I never hugged his neck. I never shook his hands and looked at his eyes and said, I love you. I love you, Dad, and I am proud of you for all that you've done for me. See, everything that my father did was for us 9 kids. And it took all that and those 8 days of silence for me to recognize how valuable I was to him. See, he already knew how great I was. He may not have ever shared it. He might have never told— your parents may have never said it to you, and you may be looking for that, but see, they already know it. I sit here and look around the room and I see how powerful you are, how inspirational, how driven you are, because I was there. I was sitting in your seats. I was sitting right there and right there and right there. See, you are amazing. You have everything you need to be successful and your parents know this. And all they want from you is to achieve that. They see it in you. They know it in you. They may not be sharp enough to share it with you. And that may be all you're looking for. But they already know what's in you. I know what's in you and I just met you. But I can relate to you. I can understand you. And I'm telling you, as somebody who sat there wanting more from my parents, the parents, my parents wanted more from me. They wanted me to come home for no reason. And hug their necks, shake their hands, and tell them how much I love them and that I will be amazing because of them. See, I know you're gonna be amazing. I see it. I know it. They know it. I challenge each and every one of you to go home tonight, to walk up to— for you men, walk up to your mothers and hug their neck like you've never hugged it before. Walk up to your fathers, grab their hands, look them straight in the eyes. Don't look at their face or their chest or their feet or their— look them right in the eye and say, Dad, I love you and I'm proud of you. And I know you've created in me an amazing young man and I'm going to become that. I'm going to show you and continue our legacy. See, that's our job as a child, as a son, as a daughter, is to continue the legacy that our parents started. And we are to become better than them. But all they want from us is to say, "Thank you. We love you." Even if we disagree. I disagreed with everything with my father. But I still loved him. But I never told him. And then it was too late. I challenge each and every one of you to not allow that. To make a decision. A decision that will shape your life forever. See, the decisions we make will shape our lives, but the life we want should shape our decisions. Make a decision to believe in yourself beyond anybody else, because I do, your parents do. Whether they say it or not doesn't matter, it's there. But the minute that you accept it, understand it, realize it, and then thank them, love them, your life will change. I overcame all that. And I built an empire in real estate. I funded over $1.8 billion in loans. I funded over 6,000 deals in the last 10 years. And I realized that I have a duty and responsibility to become the greatest my father would ever dream me to be. And today he looks down and he goes up to God. He says, hey, you see what he did today? That's my son. See, that's what it's all about. Bragging rights, that's all we want. Bragging rights. Look at what my son, my daughter did. We brag to our co-workers. We brag to our family. We brag to all the other parents. Look what my child did. See, my father's still doing that today because I understand my position and my value and what I am destined to do and become. And both God and my father stand side by side and say, look what he did today. Wow, that's our boy. That's you. Don't give up, don't stop, believe in yourself, and conquer the world.
