The Simple Test to DECLUTTER Your Life

So, you know, we were talking about this sort of rite of passage and perimenopause and sort of clutter. You know, like you said, you're going through hot flashes right now. So tell me now, because you're a little further. You're further behind me. So. So tell me what emotionally comes up for you, because now you're. Now we know you're in the zone.

So.

So what comes up for you at this point? Because I know from, you know, 20 years of discussion with women, you know, they're. They're often their kids getting older where they're not necessarily, you know, they don't require oversight at every minute most of the time, or they're empty, nesting. Like, for me, a big catalyst was taking care of my mom. Like, if that wasn't a massive shift in emotional and, you know, sort of clutter regulation, I don't know what was.

But what. What's coming up for you?

Because. Because it is a massive transition.

It is. It is. And so here's one of the things that I'm reminding myself because I am just. I am newly in this area. The other day, like, all this hair came out. I'm like, what? And then, you know, I. I couldn't find. I couldn't remember some words. I'm like, okay, okay. And I know that this is. Does not have to be my permanent reality, which I am grateful for. Grateful. What I am reminding myself right now is that it is so worth my time to slow down, to pause, to regulate my nervous system and to ask myself, how do I want to show up? How do I want to show up today? What do I want to experience? How can I not be a victim? How does this. How can I turn this into a gift? How. How can I be excited about what's happening to me in my body? And I actually recommend the same types of questions for decluttering. Slow down, pause. Regulate your nervous system. So often we struggle with the clutter because we're not regulated. And so if we give ourselves the gifts of going outside barefoot or intentional breathing or whatever, there's so many different ways, right, to calm down, slow down. And so if we do that, we're showing up. And I love that. I love the sentence live by design, not default. And so whether it is leaning in to all of the. And you might. Some. Some might laugh that I say this, but leaning into the blessing that menopause is or the blessing that decluttering is, that can really, really make things meaningful. And for me personally, that's what I want I want a meaningful life. I want to put good out there. I love feeling productive. I'm type A as well. I. And. And at the same time, I am aware that sometimes I have mind clutter that says subconsciously, Heather, you need to do, do, do to be valuable or worthwhile. And I slow down and I remind myself, no, no, just being a nice, kind human being is also just as good. And so in this time, I'm getting really curious about this next stage of life for me, this. My stage of menopause from now until the. My last breath. And I'm asking myself, what good can come from it? And. And I'm doing it in a regulated way because if. I mean, that's the only way, I think, really, to. To have the best. The best experience.

Yeah, yeah. It's. You know, it's. It's just an. It's such an extraordinary time period because so much of our energy from our 20s, 30s into our early 40s, is spent really outward, right? It's all outward. It's for the benefit to. The benefit to others that this internal sort of dialogue. And I think for a lot of us, we just don't know how to ask those questions of ourselves, which is why what you do is so important. Because again, if you have somebody come in and organize your stuff, but you don't have a coach that sits down, and it's kind of like, okay, let's. Let's figure out what is this representing in your life, then, you know. But I think the same thing holds true for, like, let's not just spin our wheels and continue in the same direction when the direction is no longer serving. It's like, let's figure out what the new direction needs to be.

And, you know, how we know that the direction is not serving us, how we feel heavy. Life feels heavy. Everything feels heavy. And so I love using the question. So, okay, first off, when I think of clutter, I like to define it as anything or thought, feeling or action that gets between where we are and where we want to be. And so when we are decluttering, one of my favorite questions to ask is, does this thing feel light or heavy? If it's light, it's right. It's not cluttering. If it's heavy, that is your answer, or that is your permission to either let it go in its current form or to consider changing the form. If you change the form, maybe it will feel light and you keep it. So I have an example, kind of a fun example. I had this pair of jeans. I Loved how they fit. They fit really great around my waist. Very comfortable. I like the color. Oh, I like the color so much. And I did not like how they looked at the bottom of my legs. And so they felt heavy. And yet I could not let them go. Why couldn't I let them go? I was so attached to these jeans and I decided, okay, Heather, they feel heavy. So if you're not going to do anything about it, it's time that they go to a donation center instead. I took out the scissors and I cut the jeans. I'm like, oh, I'm going to love these now. Now they're going to feel light. I'm so excited. Well, I put them on and I very quickly saw that I cut them as if I were a 13 year old girl or 12 year old, super short. And I'm like, I do not want to be wearing so very easy to see. Okay, I can now let these things go. When we're decluttering in life, whether it's stuff, whether it's a calendar that's too full, whether it's engagements, relationships, does this thing, does this event, does this person, do they feel light or heavy? How do I feel around them? If we feel light, not clutter, if we feel heavy, that is permission to change the story, to say, this no longer works for me and for who I'm becoming.