7 Must-Do's Before Starting Potty Training

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Welcome to Toddlers Made Easy, where there's no fluff, just practical, research-based, 15-minute or less parenting strategies to help you calmly manage all those crazy awesome toddler moments. For those of you who don't know me, I'm Dr. Cathryn Tobin, a pediatrician with more than 33 years of experience. I'm the author of 2 parenting books, the founder of Healthiest Baby, and and most importantly, the mother of 4 amazing adult kids, and I just became a grandmother a few days ago. And then there's also Smudge, my great big golden doodle. Welcome! Today we're going to be talking about pre-potty training. Now, if you're wondering what that is, let me explain. We know that prepping a child for changes or events that It significantly reduces stress and increases coping skills. But for some reason, we ignore or forget about this concept when it comes to potty training, which is probably one of the biggest events in a child's early life. Typically what happens is one day we tell our kids, okay, we're going to start potty training today. Or maybe you talked about it a little bit and even went and bought some underwear together. But there's so much more that can be done that makes potty training so much easier. I developed this pre-potty training approach after parents voiced concerns like, "I'm freaking out because my son needs to be fully toilet trained before starting daycare, but he's showing no interest in the potty." Or also, "I'm really not sure when to start potty training. I hear about readiness, but I'm not sure what that looks like. Or, I had a difficult time potty training my first child and I'm really dreading going through it again. Let me ask you something. When you were learning to drive a car, did you just show up on the day of the exam? No, you prepared for it and you probably prepared in stages. Well, turns out the same approach works with potty training. Pre-potty training creates a smoother, easier and really less stressful experience. It's like an athlete warming up for training. Pre-potty training has turned out to be even more effective and advantageous than I ever imagined it would be. And I want to share a few emails, real emails I've received in the last few days from moms who implemented the pre-potty training strategy. So the first one was, since starting potty prep, my son practically potty trained himself. "It was like magic." That was from Carla. And Danielle wrote, "I was unsure about when to begin potty training, but with the potty prep, I never had to make that decision. My 3.5-year-old took the initiative all on her own." Okay, so now that I've hopefully convinced you of the benefits of pre-potty training, let's dig in. You can begin by implementing most of these steps as early as a year of age, However, I wouldn't begin more than say 6 months before you intended to start. The first step is the most important and it takes the least amount of time. And I want to talk to one thing before we move on. One mom said to me, why should I do pre-potty training? It'll just make the whole potty training process longer. But I want you to notice the things that I'm talking about and referring to in pre-potty training really takes seconds. And so it does not really stretch the time of potty training or potty learning because you're just doing these things in passing. Anyhow, let me go into the details so you can get a better sense of what I'm talking about. So the first strategy is to model bathroom routines, and this step is really crucial for easy diaper-free success. When you model the bathroom routine, you're basically teaching your child to recognize the sensation of needing to go pee or poop. And an effective way of doing this is just by verbalizing your own bodily experiences. It's simple and it can be introduced casually, like a passing comment. For instance, when you feel the urge to use the bathroom, just say something like, "Oh, I feel like I need to go pee. I'm going to go sit on the toilet." You can even invite your child to join you in the bathroom if you're comfortable with that, and then narrate the routine. "I had that feeling of needing to go pee, and now I'm sitting on the toilet to let my pee-pee out." Just imagine how many opportunities you have to model going to the bathroom in a no-pressure, kind of casual way before you actually start training. This not only helps your toddler recognize body cues, but it also encourages their understanding and eventual mastery of the potty routine. Now don't try and do this every time you go to the bathroom. You know, just once or twice a day is plenty. This simple step sets the stage for a smoother and stress-free potty journey. The second strategy, again, takes no time, is to prepare the bathroom. So you want to make the potty a natural part of the bathroom. Don't talk about the potty unless your child raises it, but here are some steps to take. Place a potty in each bathroom or in as many as feasible. Put some books in the bathroom and even a few stuffed animals or dolls, and put a stool by the sink so your child can reach it. Now make it as easy as possible for your child to be independent in the bathroom. And here's how I would discuss the potty if your child asks about it. If your child says something like, "What's this?" then you would answer, "This is a kid's toilet. It's called a potty, and it's just like Mommy or Daddy's toilet." Except it's smaller and quieter. Or you could say something like, this is where little kids go pee and poop. Tell me when you want to give it a try. The next strategy is something you need to do anyways, and that's to let your kids dress themself as much as possible. Or in other words, teach your child how to dress themself. Depending on your child's age, you can teach them how to pull up and down their underwear and pants. So let's start with underwear first. You want to show your little champ how to put on the underwear while sitting down because that makes it much easier and fuss-free. So use these steps, teach them to your child like this. First, you find the waistband and the tag, and then you turn them to the back. Then you show your child where the holes are for their legs to go in, and you have your child put their both legs in, and then they learn to pull their pants up. Now, if weather permits, I would teach your child how to put on shorts before pants because they're obviously easier to get on. You can also consider buying a few pairs of underwear that are sized up so they'll be easier for learning. The next strategy is one about talking about poop. Now, usually we discourage poop talk, but kids have a natural fascination with all things potty related. And while it may seem unconventional or embarrassing, but normalizing poop talk can actually help your child feel more at ease with pooping and going to the bathroom. So instead of shutting it down, let's make friends with the poop talk. So go ahead, join in the potty talk fun and you'll encourage a healthy and more relaxed attitude towards pooping, which can really help for preventing constipation, which is one of the biggest problems that can occur while potty training. In fact, I'd start in the newborn stage not to use words like stinky or yucky or dirty when talking about poop. And I also want to recommend one more step. I want you to Google Bristol stool chart, and that's spelled B-R-I-S-T-O-L. And this is a chart that will show you what different poops look like and what it means if the poop looks like that. And I would use this chart to help you recognize whether your child is becoming constipated. That can be really invaluable. Now let's say you want to talk a little bit about poop or your kids ask you about what's poop. This is how you could answer: Poop is how our body gets rid of the parts of the food we don't need. Or you could also just say something around poop like, we all poop. The next point is really something more to do with you than your child, but it will make a big impact when you come to start potty training. And that is, we talked about prepping your child, but you also need to prep yourself too. So getting our kids ready for potty training, it's only part of the equation. We also need to prepare ourselves by understanding what triggers us and figuring out how to handle those situations. So for instance, what situations make you feel frustrated or overwhelmed? When you recognize those triggers, you can come up with strategies to stay calm and collected as you guide your child through this journey. So imagine the peace of mind that comes from having a plan in place. You'll feel more confident. And you'll be ready to handle any challenges that come your way. Potty training can have its ups and downs, but with a proactive mindset, you'll be better equipped to create a positive and supportive environment for both of you. So let's prepare ourselves along with our little ones. Take a step back, reflect on your own feelings, and find ways to stay cool under pressure. That could be deep breathing or a mantra. So here are a few questions I would ask yourself. How do I handle a mess? How am I with change that's out of my control? How am I with handling pee or poop? Do I believe my child can really learn independently? Now, the 6th strategy is to teach your kids to wash their hands on their own. And while that may sound awfully simple, it's surprising how many steps there are. So first thing is provide a step stool so your child can easily reach the sink. Consider a child-friendly faucet extender if your child has difficulty reaching the water. I'd use a colorful and a mild soap that you know your child will appreciate and can manage on their own. Foaming soap is a great way to inspire a child to use it. Remember, keep the soap within their reach. Now, while a toddler needs supervision around water, they still can manage these steps fairly independently. The first thing is to turn on the water. The next step is to test the temperature of the water before putting your hands in. And I just want to make a little comment here before we move on. I'd highly recommend an anti-scald device on the hot water heater. It's an important safety step that should be taken, and it prevents scalding water from coming out. The next step. So we talked about turning on the water, testing the temperature of the water. And now show your child how to wet their hands. The next is to pump the soap, and I teach your child only to pump 2 times. Then the next step is to keep rubbing those soapy hands together until they finish singing a song that you've selected as the handwashing song. Then you rinse hands. Then I would shake, shake, shake them to help dry them, and then dry with a towel. I'd also have a hamper for dirty towels, and I teach your child when a towel should be put in the hamper. All of this seems like silly, maybe because you could do it yourself, wash their hands in the moment, but kids really love to be independent and to have real essential chores. The last strategy I want to discuss is public washrooms. The biggest problem with public washrooms is the noise, which can be overwhelming for some children. So to address this, you can gradually introduce your child to public washrooms Starting with the family washroom if available. This approach allows your child to become more familiar and comfortable with that environment before they actually need to use it. So in other words, if you're going to a public washroom, bring your child along. Not all the time, but every once in a while and talk about the bathroom and teach them, you know, what's what in the public washroom. Most kids hate that automatic flush. Flush, so I would prepare your child for it. And if necessary, you can cover the sensor so it doesn't flush automatically. If you want a guide for pre-potty training, you can find our free guide, The 5 Must-Dos Before Starting Potty Training, and the link is in the show notes. Now, if you're looking for a complete expert-guided course to master potty training like a pro And you want to avoid all those typical pitfalls? Well, you've got to check out our Potty Training Made Easy online course. This is a comprehensive resource that will take you step by step through the potty training process, and it will give you all those pediatrician-approved insider tips and tricks that will guide you through the process. So if you're interested in learning more about that course, click the link in the show notes to learn more and say goodbye to diapers for good. And that link is the Potty Training Made Easy course. Have a lovely week. Let's talk soon and happy parenting.