Easy Gentle Potty Training - Part 1

You're listening to Toddlers Made Easy, an expert guided podcast for anyone who has ever felt overwhelmed by a toddler, or in other words, all of us. Parenting a toddler is really tough and I'm here to help. I'm Dr. Catherine, a pediatrician with more than 32 years of experience and a month of four great kids. I love explaining toddlers and giving you the practical tools, knowledge and crucial support you need to become the parent every kid wants. Each week you can tune in for simple, actionable strategies, scripts and practical tips, all in bite sized chunks. Because I know your time is precious. So be sure you subscribe so you never miss an episode. Let's not waste any time and let's get going. Today we're going to be talking about easy, gentle toilet training. There are several ways to approach potty training and honestly, there's no one right way for every child, or every parent, or every family, or for every situation. In this episode, however, we're going to talk about a gentle approach to potty training. This is often referred to as child led potty learning or toilet learning. I just call it a relaxed or gentle approach. In my experience, a gentle, no pressure approach is the way to go and I'm going to explain why. I'd like to discuss three reasons why I typically avoid traditional toilet training. The first reason is that there's a contradiction between teaching kids to listen to their bodies, yet insisting they listen to us when it comes to potty training. On the one hand, we aim to teach our kids that they're in control of their bodies. For instance, they don't have to kiss grandparents if they don't want to. But yet we expect them to listen to us when we tell them to use the potty. Plus, we further confuse things when we potty train based on a schedule. On the one hand, we want our toddlers to learn and trust their body cues, yet we ask them to use the potty based on a schedule, not on their body cues. Another reason is that traditional toilet training is actually harder, and it's harder because we're working against a toddler's natural drive to be independent. Since a toddler is wired to test limits, a parent directed approach sets us up for conflict. It's just a whole lot easier to wait for your kids to show some interest in using the potty. There is less fighting, less frustration, and less conflict overall, and it all makes sense from a developmental perspective. And lastly, my greatest concern with traditional toilet training has to do with the holding habits that can occur and lead to Constipation. Constipation causes a lot of grief and often for a very long time. And then there's also the complications of constipation and they can cause a whole set of problems on their own. And so those are three solid reasons why I prefer a gentle method. One that is less likely to cause conflict, confusion or constipation. Potty training really doesn't need to be a battleground or overwhelming. It can be a simple and easy process. I don't even remember toilet training my kids. It all went so smoothly. So let's take a look at how to toilet train with an easy, gentle approach. This is a really big topic and so today we're just going to break it down a bit and focus on the pre toilet training stage. You can set your kids up for potty training success before you even invite them to use the potty. I'd start the steps we're about to discuss at about a year of age. The first thing is let's talk about how to prepare the bathroom for success. So obviously you want to have a potty in the bathroom and initially I just put it there. Don't talk about it. Place some favorite books in a bin next to the potty. Have a stool so your child can reach the sink. The next thing is read books about using the potty, but only if your child is interested in reading them. This can help kids accept the change when the potty is introduced. And it also opens the door to talking about potty training issues as well as. Plus, let's face it, kids just love potty talk. Choose books with a positive but neutral approach and avoid books that use terms like you're a big boy now or you're a big girl now. An oldie but goodie book is Potty by Leah. And forgive me, I don't know how to say her last name, but Patricelli maybe spelled P A T R I C E L L I. The next thing to think about is how to teach your child without actually teaching them. And by that I mean how to model bathroom routines so kids learn just by watching. So when your child's with you in the bathroom, narrate what's going on. Speak in very minute detail about what's happening. Oh, my body was telling me I needed to go pee pee. So I'm sitting on the toilet now and I'm going to go pee in the toilet now. I'm going to wash my hands. And by the way, when you talk about washing your hands, don't say anything about being dirty. Imagine how many times this can happen and how much your child will learn before the potty is even introduced. Your toddler will learn what to do without directing them to do anything and this introduces a new concept such as toilet training in a really non threatening manner. Also, it's really handy if there are older siblings or toilet trained friends that are willing to let your toddler join them in the bathroom. Send the kids up together. Kids love to copy their siblings and friends play going to the toilet using dolls and toys. A great deal of learning can happen before a child ever sits on the potty. Be creative, make it fun. For instance, say things like oh look at piggy crossing her legs. I think she needs to use the potty. Then go take her to sit on the potty. Ideally, put a potty in every bathroom and this makes sense because there's a toilet in every bathroom. But again, that may not be practical for you, but if not, maybe one on each floor is ideal. Just place the potty in the bathroom and then don't talk about it. This allows your child to feel comfortable with the potty before you start training. And lastly, I'd encourage dryness with frequent diaper changes if this is doable for you. So the main takeaway for today is that gentle training is completely possible and doable. Today we reviewed several strategies you can start right away that will help your toddler feel comfortable with the process. We spoke about reading toilet training books, modeling toilet routines because this teaches the process without actually directing your child using play, placing potties in the bathroom and creating a setup that helps your child be independent and encouraging dryness. In the next episode, we'll talk about how to gently train your toddler with a step by step approach. I hope I've convinced you about the benefits of a gentle approach and I think you're going to be surprised how easy it can be. Till next week, thanks for listening to Toddlers Made Easy, the Healthiest Baby Podcast. If you want more insights, tools and confidence, join our free baby school and get a weekly parenting insight in your inbox. Head over to Bit Ly and that's spelled B as in Bob I It as in Tom Ly joinbabyschool Don't worry though, the link will be in the show notes. Also, join me on Instagram @healthiestbaby for a daily dose of better parenting solutions. If you love the Toddlers Made Easy podcast, please subscribe, rate and give us a review on itunes. We'd appreciate it so much. There's so much more I want to share with you from my experience as a baby doctor. Until next time, have a great week.