Easy Gentle Potty Training - Part 2

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Potty training doesn't need to be scary or anxiety provoking for you or your toddler. I'm dedicating this episode to potty training so you can glide through the process. And while there are many ways to potty train your little one that work equally well, I prefer a gentle approach. I spoke about this in the last episode. Actually, the last episode focuses on the things to do before actually starting potty training and this is a really important part of prepping your child. So please go back and listen to Easy Gentle Potty Training Part 1 if you haven't already done so. Honestly, if your child is ready to potty train, it's so easy. I don't even remember potty training my kids. It went so smoothly. I really prefer a gentle approach because a child's feelings and perspective are given a top priority. The journey is as important as the outcome, so there's no punishment or criticism and it aims to be a stress free and tear free process. And this means kids aren't pressured to perform and there's no huge rewards or celebrations because these can be interpreted as pressure by your toddler. This approach is evidence based and I've also used it with thousands of children in my practice. Now, before we get down to the nitty gritty details, let's take a quick moment and think about potty training from a toddler's perspective. For many kids, the biggest issue is that playtime is interrupted, which is everything to them, and they're being asked then to make a trip to the potty, which is something they probably don't really care about. So they may feel annoyed or conflicted about whether it's even worth the effort. So just keep this in mind. If your child resists, he's being asked to give up something he loves for something he really doesn't care about at all. From a practical perspective, how do you really begin? Well, I prefer an anti extremist approach to potty training. On the one hand, there's traditional parent driven training where parents urge or coax a child to use the potty. On the other hand, there's a child led approach where you wait for a toddler to show interest. Well, honestly, I prefer a middle of the road approach where a gentle invitation to start potty training is provided but the child still sets the pace. In other words, you can help jumpstart the process and move things along provided you're sensitive to your child and how she's responding to potty training. There's a lot of talk about toilet training and readiness, but in my experience the most important type of readiness is emotional readiness and this isn't as easy to recognize as mental and physical readiness. So yes, sure, kids need to be mobile, willing to sit still for a few minutes, able to pull their pants on and off, staying dry for longer stretches. They have to be better communicators and having some awareness of body cues. But even if you can check each of these above boxes, it won't matter unless your child is emotionally ready. And signs of emotional readiness include an I can do it myself attitude. And also when a toddler is starting to copy you, like when she pretends to talk on her cell phone. This is also an indication of emotional readiness. Or it may be another factor that contributes to success is temperament. A child's temperament factors in hugely whether potty training is easy or hard. Some children are more parent pleasers than others. And these kids tend to toilet train easier because they like making their parents happy. Now, prepping our toddlers is key, but so is prepping ourself. So let's talk about how we're going to handle accidents. Accidents will happen and don't view them as failures. Consider them as part of the learning process. Expecting them will make it easier to manage them calmly, so think about how you're going to respond before it happens. Let me give you a few good examples. You could say something like, oh, you're wet. Oh, that must feel really yucky. Let's get you in some dry clothes. Or maybe you'd say, when your body tells you it's time to pee, I can help you get to the potty. Another way to approach this would be to say, oops, you didn't make it to the potty. No biggie. I bet next time you can make it to the potty. There will likely be accidents every single day if you find accidents are triggering, use a mantra like accidents are just a toddler acting her age. Now let's look at how to start the process with a focus on a gentle beginning. Prepping your child is a key first step. So a few days before you plan to start, prep your child by explaining that something cool is about to happen. And tell your child that she's going to go without a diaper or use the potty instead. Over the next few days, sit down and talk with your child about what's going to be happening. Explain step by step by step what they should expect and let them be involved in the plan. In fact, I'd make a potty plan into an art project. Take a series of photos of your child taking off her clothes, sitting on the potty, pulling her pants up, washing her hands. And now make a potty plan poster or book and let your child decorate it. This project offers a relaxed way to talk about using the potty, and it'll help you gauge your child's readiness. And then next comes underwear. Buy the underwear together and let your toddler choose which one he or she wants. This or that. Choices are best. Another necessary prep mindset is to remember that the goal now it isn't dryness, it's listening to your body and then sitting on the potty. So let's get down to day one. Start the day by reminding your toddler what's about to happen. Explain that it's a special day because you'll be using the potty to pee or poop, and let your child know what she'll need to do. Say something like, your job is to listen to your body, and when your body tells you it's time to pee or poop, let's see if you can make it to the potty and pee or poop in the potty. Don't worry, I'm here. I can help you. Start off by going to the bathroom yourself and bringing your toddler with you and narrating everything that's happening. Oh, my body is telling me I need to go pee. I'm going to sit on the toilet so my pee can come out there. Pay attention to your role and remember it's a supportive role, so avoid saying things like, do you have to go to the potty? Are you sure? Are you sure? And instead say something like, is your body telling you it's time to pee? Don't push your toddler to sit on the potty, but you can invite him. If he or she resists you, just say something like okay, tell me when you have the feeling that it's time to go. You know your body the best, and that sends the message that your toddler is in charge of her body. Plan to stick around the house a little more than usual for the first few days and you can let your child go bare or use a diaper, pull ups or training pants. Ask your child which one he or she'd like to wear and reassure them that you'll help take them off when she's ready to go pee or poop. Now, while I'm not recommending you put your child on the potty based on the clock, I'd still make a trip to the potty with some routine in place, like when your toddler wakes up in the morning or before going out of the house before bedtime and after meals. And let your toddler know that she doesn't have to worry about using the potty at nighttime. Instead, kids use nighttime undies or pull ups or just diapers, so you're just focusing on daytime dryness. Keep up this routine over the days and weeks ahead. Now, we've covered a lot of aspects of gentle potty training today and in the last episode, but there's still so much more to discuss. I'm going to do more episodes in the future so we can talk about troubleshooting potty training problems like, for instance, how to handle pushback. Now. Lastly, believe in your toddler's ability to learn and grow. He or she can do it, but at the same time, give yourself some kindness as you're human and there may be moments where things don't go as you hoped or plan.

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