Is My Child Ready for Potty Training?

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Welcome to Toddlers Made Easy. I'm Dr. Cathryn Tobin, your host. This is the bite-sized podcast. There's no fluff and we get straight to the point. For those of you who don't know me, I'm a pediatrician with 35 years experience. I'm the mother of 4 amazing adult kids and I have a great big golden doodle named Smudge. Today we're going to focus on potty training. Actually, we're going to focus on potty training readiness. Potty training is a big milestone for parents and kids and it can feel really scary and overwhelming. I find parents stress a lot about when to begin. So how do you know if your child is ready and what readiness signs matter most? That's what we're going to focus on today, and I'm going to help you with some easy-to-follow tips and real-life examples. I'm hoping to make decisions around when to start potty training easier for you. But let's first look at what readiness does and does not mean. The American Academy of Pediatrics says most kids are ready for potty training between 22 and 28 months. But age is really just one part of the story. Successful potty training, it also depends on your child's development, on their emotional stage, on your emotions, and even your family's situation. So you see, readiness is not just a number on the calendar. Many parents believe that starting when your child is truly ready makes success more likely. But research shows it's not that simple. Readiness does not guarantee success. Back in 1962, Dr. Brazelton changed the game by focusing on physical and emotional readiness instead of rigid schedules, which was the norm at that time. And while this was a great shift, the readiness signs we often hear and talk about today Well, they don't always mean smooth sailing. Here's the thing: most potty training struggles aren't about readiness. They're about the potty training journey and what method you've used. Kids will often resist because they feel pressured, not because they aren't ready to potty train. When I was a kid, I hated piano lessons. My teacher was really strict. And she even tapped my knuckles with a ruler when I made mistakes. I couldn't quit fast enough. But when my daughter took lessons, her teacher used encouragement, and my daughter loved her lessons and kept asking for more and more lessons. Well, the difference? It wasn't readiness. It was the method being used to teach. And potty training works the same way. You might assume a child is resisting potty training because they're not emotionally ready, But most often it's about the method you're using more than anything. Now, nonetheless, let's go over some of the most common indicators used to predict readiness. So things like your child can communicate with or without words. They're sitting, walking, and standing without problem. Well, obviously this is going to be an important issue. Your child has started imitating you. That's helpful. They're staying dry for longer periods. That's also helpful. They're able to pull their clothes on and off. That's nice, but also you can help them. They can sit for a few minutes. That's important. They're showing interest in bathroom routines. That's really helpful. And they can follow simple directions. That's also needed. In a nutshell, readiness really just means that your child is able and willing to start potty training. It's really that simple. The tricky part? Well, while it's easy to tell if your child is physically and mentally ready, emotional willingness, which is the most important piece, is harder to gauge until you actually start. Now that's why I created a pre-potty training process to help you figure it out beforehand. In my course, I teach the 5 must-dos before starting potty training to make things easier for you and your toddler. And here's why it works. Number 1, it's a gentle start. Your child gets familiar with the process without any pressure. 2, it helps you gauge readiness. You'll know if your child is open to potty training or if it's better to wait a bit longer. It reduces the stop and start type of training. By easing in, you're less likely to hit early resistance and setbacks. Number 3, it prepares you too. You'll have a plan in place and feel ready to handle challenges before they arise. So how do you really, really know if your child is ready? Well, I would suggest doing a little pre-potty prep to use it like a test drive. If your child's interested and cooperative, you're good to go. If not, it's a sign to hold off for a bit. Here are some ways parents decide it's time to start potty training. Emma's mom jumped in when she found out all the kids in her playgroup were using the potty. Jack's dad decided to start the day Jack turned 3, thinking he was overdue to start. And Mia's parents noticed she was showing some interest in the toilet after watching her older sibling, so they decided to give it a try. The most important step in potty prep is to start modeling the bathroom routine weeks and months before you are hoping to begin. Kids learn body awareness just by watching you, so allowing your child to accompany you to the bathroom, if you're comfortable with this, is so helpful. When your child's with you in the bathroom, you can narrate what's happening like, "Oh, Mommy felt like she needed to go pee-pee, so I'm sitting on the toilet and letting the pee-pee out." Or you can say something even more simply like, "I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom, so here I am." Or you can say nothing. But just imagine how many times this can happen and how much your child will learn before potty training is even introduced. And equally importantly, you'll get a sense of your child's interest level in potty training, which will help you gauge readiness. And here's another key factor. Parental readiness. Potty training takes time, patience, and consistency. If you're juggling big life changes or feeling overwhelmed, it might help to wait until you're in a better place to support your child through the process. Also, it's an opportunity to think about how you'll manage accidents, ways you can prepare the house for accidents, and whether you're feeling well enough rested to manage the ups and downs and stress of potty training. With composure. So the takeaway from today's episode is that readiness is actually very simple to determine. In other words, is your child willing and able to begin potty training? But even better is to use pre-potty training to gauge your child's interest level. Follow and trust your own intuition about whether your child is ready. You know your child better than any checklist. Now, if you want to learn more about potty training, specifically a low stress approach that will empower your child, click on the link in the show notes. It only takes 5 minutes a day. And right now we have a huge sale with 60% off and we've added in a fabulous bonus, the Tantrum Crash Workshop, because there's more to raising a toddler than just potty training. Thank you for listening in today. I hope that was helpful, and I'll see you next week.