Raising Kids With A Healthy Body Image

Welcome to Toddlers Made Easy, where there's no fluff, just practical research based 15 minutes or less parenting strategies. For those of you who don't know me, I'm Dr. Catherine, a pediatrician with more than 33 years of experience. I'm the author of two parenting books, the founder of Healthiest Baby, and the mother of four amazing adult kids. And let's not forget Smudge My great big golden Doodle. Today we're going to talk about a really important subject and that's body positivity and body image. During my training, I specialized in adolescent medicine and this meant I worked with a lot of young people with eating disorders. And this is a huge problem and it's very challenging and difficult on everyone and it made me very sensitive to how I spoke about kids and weight in my office and I hope also in my home. Today we're going to take a look at body image as it relates to very young kids. And this is a really crucial point that you don't want to wait until your child is a teenager or older to act on. This research actually indicates that children start forming opinions about their body earlier than we used to believe. In fact, reports suggest that children as young as 3 years old express concerns about being fat. And this really highlights the need to focus on body positivity early on, really early. A positive body image should focus on health and wellness rather than weight and appearance, encouraging our children to understand that bodies come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, plus how we discuss and perceive our own body. It can have a huge impact on our child's developing body image. Again, children aged three to about six are particularly impressionable about their body image. And a positive body image in children boosts their confidence. While dissatisfaction with your body can lead to issues like eating disorders down the road as well as self esteem and happiness. Now, as parents, we play a significant role in nurturing a positive body image with our kids. And by adopting some simple yet really effective steps, we can help our children develop a healthy and affirmative view of their bodies. From a developmental perspective, young children are becoming increasingly aware of physical differences. They might notice and comment on variations in height or weight or physical trait. And it's our job to guide their understanding positively. So let's look at some ways that we can do this. And the first is to avoid negative comments about your own weight or appearance as well as others. Replace them with positive affirmations about health and abilities. Now, having said that, this is really hard. I'm not suggesting this is easy and you can just automatically do it because how we think about our own bodies, while it's powerful and affect our kids, it's not easy to change, but it's something you can do. Next comes celebrating diversity in people's appearance. And you can do this in daily life and also through media choices. Praise physical capabilities and achievements, not appearance. You should also address any concerns about body image your child expresses. There's a tendency to dismiss or just reassure kids about their body. So if your child says something like, ugh, my stomach so fat. Instead of just dismissing them and saying, oh, you're fine, don't be silly, ask them questions about it and try and understand what's going on. Name calling based on physical appearance is unfortunately very common among children, so it's crucial to address this behavior thoughtfully. So let's say you overhear your child making fun of another child's appearance. We'll be open and discuss this with them. Explain why it's hurtful and how everyone is unique and special. For instance, you could say, it's not kind to make fun of others. We're all different and that's what makes each of us special. If your child, on the other hand, is the recipient of name calling, comfort them with words like you're as perfect as you are and I love every inch of you. Teach your child to appreciate their body for what they can do with their body, not just how it looks. Plus, an issue that is unique to toddlers is I would think about how you potty train and I'd encourage you to use an approach that empowers kids to listen to their body. Now, the most effective way to foster body positivity in your child is to lead by example. Because remember, young kids are keen observers and imitators. So being thoughtful of how we speak about our bodies plays a significant role in shaping your children's body image and beliefs. Accepting, or even better, embracing your current appearance sets a positive example for your child. Now, let's be real. I know it's not easy and I know it won't necessarily come naturally because most of us have not been raised with this as a priority. But let's look at how we can achieve a positive body image with our kids. So let's look through some do's and don'ts. First of all, do your best to show up confident, let's say in a bathing suit or while you're dressing up. If you hear your child making comments about their body, talk about the comments and ask questions. Again, let's say your five year old says her stomach is too big. And that's a common complaint I hear with kids. Don't brush it off. Don't say, don't be silly. Ask her why does she think it's too big. This will start a conversation and give you an opportunity to talk about what makes her special. You can steer the conversation back to having a healthy body and how our healthy body sometimes looks different than what we see on TV or in the magazines. Also, give your child a say in what he or she eats. Let them help you choose foods at the grocery store and even help with meal prep when you've got the time. A few things to avoid would be sending messages that certain activities or certain clothing are off limits until you reach a specific age. I'd also encourage you not to skip meals hoping to lose weight. I'd show your children that it's really important to eat three meals a day. Don't shy away from being photographed. That's a big one for parents and I've got to be honest with you, it's a big one for me. Take every opportunity to document your life with your child. You're going to be so glad that you've done that. Don't talk about exercising to lose weight. Talk about exercising to be stronger. And another thing is avoid talking about wanting to improve your body to be more attractive. Don't say, I think you need to lose some weight. Instead, say something like, we're going to try something new as a family so everybody feels really good and healthy. Or don't say, better not have any dessert. If you want a smaller tummy, say let's try a new fruit for dessert. Now this is a big, big topic and this is just a very beginning first thoughts on this, but I wanted to touch on it just because so many people don't believe that it's important early on. And so I wanted you to know that this is something to think about right now. Now, a few takeaways from today are that body image isn't just an issue that arises in the teenage years. Children as young as three years old are paying attention to body size and differences. Another issue where you can help encourage body positivity is potty training with an approach that encourages kids to listen to their body. This is a really healthy starting point. And lastly and really importantly, but also really challengingly, if that's such a word, is how we talk about our bodies and appearance has a found influence on our kids. Now, parenting is really tough and you deserve some solid, reliable information to help you through these formative toddler years. So I encourage you to take a look at our hugely popular and game changing courses which you can find in the show notes. Have a wonderful week and thank you for listening.