10 Viral Secrets to Success: Cathey Armillas' Blueprint from Marketing Genius to TEDx Coach

Welcome to beyond you'd why Podcast, where we go beyond just talking about your why and actually help you discover and then live your why. You see, we believe that knowing your why, that driving force behind every decision you make and every action you take, is the essential first step to really knowing yourself. It allows you to move forward faster and have a bigger impact. If you're already a fan of the show, then you know that every week we talk about one of the nine whys, and then we introduce you to somebody with that why so you can see how their why has played out in their life. This show will be more powerful for you if you've already discovered your why. If you still need to do that, head over to whyinstitute.com and discover your why today. It'll only take you about five minutes. Now let's meet today's guest.

Welcome to beyond you'd why Podcast, where we go beyond just talking about your why and actually helping you discover and then live your why. So if you're a regular listener, you know that every week we talk about one of the nine whys and then we bring on somebody with that why so you can see how their why has played out in their life. And so this week we're going to be talking about the why of challenge. To challenge the status quo and think differently. So if this is your why, then you don't believe in following the rules or drawing inside the lines. You want things to be fun and exciting and different. You rebel against the classic way of doing things. You typically have eccentric friends and eclectic tastes. Because after all, why would you want to be normal? You love to be different, think different and aren't afraid to challenge virtually anyone or anything that is too conventional or too typical for your tastes. Pushing the envelope comes naturally to you. So today we have a great guest for you. Her name is Kathy Armias. She is an accomplished marketer turned sought after TED speaker coach. And it all started when one of her clients asked was got asked to give a TED Talk. That pivotal moment led Kathy to dive into the world of coaching, where she blends her marketing savvy with a deep understanding of psychology. She doesn't just coach, she empowers people to share captivating ideas that truly connect. With Kathy, it's about more than crafting a story. It's about creating genuine bonds with your audience. Her passion? Making storytelling a game changer for anyone wanting to impact others with their ideas. Kathy, welcome to the podcast.

Thanks, Gary. Wow, that description before sounded just like me.

Imagine that.

Imagine.

So you And I have been trying to get this together for about six months. We finally made it happen. So I've been excited to share you with our audience because there's going to be a lot of people listening to this that want to do a TED Talk. And so we could dive into that later. But first, let's get to know you a little bit. Where are you right now? Where do you live now? And then, then where were you born and what were you like growing up?

H. Yeah, I'm in Portland, Oregon right now. I'm in the great Pacific Northwest.

The city. What's it, what's the tagline?

Keep Portland weird.

Why would you be there? I don't know.

I, I'm not eccentric at all. I don't have eccentric friends. What are you talking about? Yeah, no, I, I, I started my life, started in Chicago, Illinois. My parents met there. My mom's 100% Italian, so we have roots from Italy. And, you know, there's a little maybe nefarious past going on in the Chicago scene in Italians. And so I'm not going to talk anything about that at all. All I'm going to say is we moved to LA when I was really young, and one of the first things that happened when I got there was we got robbed. And I'm not talking about like, somebody like, you know, somebody digitally broke into our bank account or they like, broke into our house the old school way, where they parked a big truck in the alleyway and, and guys are bringing big TVs out of your house. And, and my life got really, like, shifted in that moment. My parents ended up getting divorced within the next couple of months of being there after getting robbed. And then my dad got remarried, and then there were four new sibling, you know, step siblings. And my life would become super chaotic and just really freaking hard, to be honest with you.

As I would go on to go into elementary school and junior high. By the time I got to high school, like, I, I mean, I don't think I knew it then, but I look back and I'm like, I was super depressed. I was very suicidal. I found a book of poems, Gary, that I wrote in high school. And I can't even believe I wrote them. Like, they're just really bad. And so, but here's the, here's the good news. To not, like, drag you all down and be like, oh, that just sounds super depressing because that's totally not who I am today. I found sport. Sport became my thing. I think I had a path, and I was either Going to do drugs, alcohol or whatever. And I found sport. And so weird fact about me, I've never had a sip of alcohol in my life. I've never smoked a cigarette. I've never done any drugs. I barely take. I barely take aspirin or medicine. But I started playing at a really high level sport, fast pitch softball. And that became, yeah, that became a lifesaver for me. I had a friend, her dad was the head coach of a, you know, just little girls softball team. And, and I just wanted to be there because my friend was there. And first year, I'm sitting out in the outfield and I'm just kind of like.

What'S going on? You know? And then there's something weird, Gary, in my brain that you could probably now explain, because my challenge, right, that, that I have a challenge in me. There's something weird in me that was like, you can't be here unless you're the one getting the ball every time. So I talked to my dad and I was like, so how do I get into one of these positions? It's either like pitcher, first base, catcher, I don't know. And I thought pitcher is probably the one that statistically gets the ball more than, more than most. And my, and I asked my dad, would you. Could I. Could I, like, do something to get better? Can I go to a pitching clinic? He's like, I'm not paying money for you to go to learn how to do something that I can just give you a ball of socks that's wrapped up with duct tape and you threw it against the house. If you want to get better, you do this. And so I did.

And it worked.

Yeah, it did work because I went on to be like national level junior Olympic, you know, Olympic bound.

That's awesome. So now what were you like personally and as far as just getting at school, did you. Were you the kid that fit in? The kid that didn't fit in? The kid that, you know, followed the rules, didn't follow the rules? What were you like?

I wouldn't say I was a bad kid, but I definitely didn't. I definitely didn't conform to anything that was like normal. You know, I didn't have normal friends, but I definitely fit into this. You know, I grew up in the, you know, Southern California area, so it was very cliquish back then. Definitely. Like, you're either like a surfer or you're the popular, you know, group, or you're like the heavy metalers or, you know, there's all these like, segments of Groups. I. I was kind of a weird mix of, like, hanging out with the people that just were in between the cracks of all of these.

And we were like the leaders of that group.

Yeah, it. That's kind of how it was. But I played sports, and so that was a huge identity for me. And I think because of that luck, nobody really messed with me. Like, it just was. I also was a very angry person. I think you could probably tell when I was younger, like, yeah, I wouldn't with her. Like, she just. She looks very angry. There's a. There's something not going well at her house.

Okay. Graduate from high school, off to college. You go to college.

I had college scholarships, and I did not. I got pregnant with my oldest really young. Yep.

So you became an instant mom.

And then what was that? Like, what. How did that feel to you at that time? And, you know, take us through it.

Yeah. Well, I met. I met somebody when I was living in Southern California, and he was from Oregon, and I ended up having two kids with him. One, like, right out of high. Right out of high school, and then another one immediately after. And it was. It was worse than high school.

The. Not the kids, but the. The relationship.

So I quickly found myself, early 20s, single mom, trying to figure out how to make money. I mean, I know it's a lot of women's story, and. Yeah, it was a. That was a really rough time in my life. I. I also was in a. I was in a really bad relationship, a lot of domestic violence, and I didn't. I felt really shameful at that time, so I didn't. I didn't reach out to my family, who were all living, like, in Southern California. It was something that I. I felt like I created this space. And now I was living up in Oregon, and it was just really bad times, but I ended up leaving the relationship, and I became a single mom. And I was like, I'm going to figure it out on my own. And I always have this weird pivotal moment, because I used to. I got a job at a. At a cocktail bar. I was just waitressing at night. And I remember, like, every night I would go into the bathroom and I actually would cry, and I would pray, like, please get me out of this situation. Like, I hate it here. And now there's this weird, pivotal moment where I'm always like, if somebody would have came up to me and be like, you're gonna be fine. Like, you'll write books, you're gonna help people, you're gonna be a speaker. You're gonna do these things. I mean it. I probably would have punched that person in the face.

Okay, so now you find yourself single, twenties, two kids, working in a bar. How do you go from what happened to you next?

Well, that was my, that was my job at night, my job during the day. I got lucky somehow. I ended up working for two Korean brothers that had, they had an industrial glass.

Just kind of like a, like a beveling machine. Like this very specific type of beveling machine that they manufactured in Seoul, Korea. So one brother lived in Seoul and one lived here in Portland. And I ended up becoming their sales and marketing person in my early 20s. And the first thing that I did, I. They sent me off to the largest glass show in the entire world. It's in Dusseldorf, Germany. I'm early 20s, and I show up at this trade show booth that we have, and we have all of our machines out there, right? And they have a bunch of Korean women that work at the facility in Korea. And instead of having them in blue coveralls, they have them in pink coveralls and they have white gloves on. And there's this huge sign that says, I can't even. Like, you're not even gonna believe me that it said this so easy. Even a woman can do it.

I totally feel like that was another moment where I'm like, I, I think in that moment I was really like, I'm gonna be a marketer in some way, shape or form for the rest of my life because that marketing message plan at all. And I like, I remember telling. I was only working for my boss for a couple of months, and I went up to him and I was like, does this work? I mean, I feel like the CEOs that are coming here with their wives, that can't work. Does it work?

Yeah.

Did it?

No, it did not. Okay. It did not. I think it worked well in Korea, where the other brother started it. And you know, the, the, I kind of the, you know, the emotion behind it or, you know, the, the intent behind it is really like, it's a very male dominated industry. You don't see a lot of women in there. It really wasn't supposed to be offensive, but it was, right? So.

Yeah, that was my first tap into, you know, real life experience, trying to become a real marketer, trying to figure out what really would work.

The thing about that, you had no training in marketing. You were stay at home while you were a, you know, young with single mom. Mom. Single mom, Yep. Why would they hire you to be their marketing Director.

I don't have any clue.

Actually. I. I responded to an ad in. In the paper, and I think when I met. I don't know why they chose me originally, but when I met with. Who would you know, one of the brothers that became my boss, I think he just was really impressed with me for some reason. I don't. Maybe he saw something in me I didn't see. Maybe he saw that I thought outside of the box. They definitely were an outside of the box company, so I don't know. I'll never know.

So did you change up their marketing from there and stay with them for a while?

Yep. I became their sales and marketing manager and I went on the road and I would go on to successfully sell this machine that was like our big competitors were these big Italian machinery companies that had huge factories, a great, you know, great sales staffs of multiple people all over the United States, all over Europe. And I'm this one person from this Korean company that's going around, and I was meeting with a lot of these plant directors from all of these big glass companies and furniture companies, and I was super successful at selling this machine in the United States. Like, I. There was something that clicked and I. And I. In hindsight, I can. I can kind of tap back to what some of that magic was. I. I started. I really started studying psychology when I was in. When I was in high school and just got a. Like a weird knack for it. Like, I love it. I would read. I still have tons of psychology books always within five feet of me. I love psychology. So I think I kind of just started figuring out what works with people. But in a good way, right? Not in a. Not in a sleazy, slimy, like put tricks and magic spells on people, you know?

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So how long were you with that company?

I was with that company until the two owners passed away in a car accident together. It was this tragic accident, and I even helped the wives of both of them transition and sell the company. So I ran the company in my, like, late 20s at that point. So I was probably there about eight, nine years, something like that.

I helped, I ran the company on. On our side. I was doing all the sales, all the things I needed. I was running the whole company for about a year, year and a half until we kind of sold the company. But, yeah, it was like a tragic, unfortunate.

Wow.

Out of the blue, accident.

Okay. And then off to what. What do you do next?

Yeah, so I ended up getting a job at an industrial shredder manufacturer because they knew. Isn't it funny how like one thing's an accident and then the next thing isn't? It leads to your next thing. And they, of course, were they. I, I wanted to be the marketing director there. And they were like, oh God, she has all this marketing and, and sales experience of selling like heavy machinery. That's what we do. And it's weird to have a woman going back to the, you know, the whole woman thing. It's kind of weird to have a woman in that space doing that. So I was hired, like immediately. And when I first got there, thinking outside of the box, I, I saw this huge, like, wall of all these like little tapes. And I would pull a tape up and open it and I'm like, we're shredding torpedoes. Like we're building shredders to shred torpedoes. I go to the, I go to the CEO and I'm like, why are we not putting this stuff on the Internet? And you know, I always have this like, conversation, you know, burned in my head. He's like, kathy, how many people do you think can buy a half a million dollar shredder?

I don't think you know how the Internet works. Dial. Like, that's a, it wasn't about who could buy the 500, you know, thousand dollars shredder. And anyway, so I had this idea of putting all these like cool shreds on a website and we would call it watchitshred.com and we, we did end up doing that. And we became one of the first viral videos on YouTube when it launched in 2005.

Oh my gosh.

So that, and then that took my marketing career off, right, Because I did this successful thing for the company. And it wasn't just how many hits we got on YouTube. We were on CNN, CNBC, we were being covered by all of this. We ended up with two reality TV series, one in Canada, one in the United States. And our company went from being a 17 million company to $42 million, like pretty much overnight. And so it wasn't just how many hits were coming to our site or people were seeing our shredders. It translated into, we became the generic term for shredder. Like, oh, an SSI shredder. If you were in the market for a half a million dollar shredder, you wouldn't even consider, you wouldn't consider buying one without looking at ssi. We were the well known brand.

So, okay, so now you're marketing with them. And then how long were you there? And then what? Where did you go from there.

Ten years at the company, and I. I remember going, what else can I do here? It felt like it just wasn't a challenge anymore. Like, wow, we've been riding this thing. It's been so fun to be on TV shows and working with. I. I mean, I have friends that I. I now have been friends with for a long time that I met during. During that time and being on TV shows and. But I remember one. I have a really close friend who said, you know, you should start your own marketing company. And I'm like, me? Like, what would. Like, really? I don't know anybody. Like, how would I do that? And he goes, you've already done all the work. I mean, you just need to flip the switch now. And so I ended up leaving and starting my own marketing company, which, what I thought was gonna be doing what I was doing at ssi. And I had a couple of gigs right out of the gate, really big gigs. And I realized, I don't know, I didn't like doing marketing that way. It was exciting with the shredding company, but I don't know, it didn't have the same challenge. But luckily for me, something really bizarre happened. One of. One of my marketing clients that I was working with got asked to give a TED Talk. And at the time, I had written my marketing book, and I was already, like, I was speaking all over the world on this book because it had won some awards. And he's like, ooh, I. I need your help. I just got asked to give a TED Talk. And I said yes. And I. And I was like, okay, I can. I guess I can help you. Then all of a sudden, my, like, world converged and. And I. I. I coached him to give a TED Talk, and he did a really good job. And the executive producer was like, can you. Can you coach? Can you be one of our coaches? And I don't know if you really. If you really want to shortcut the conversation. That was 10 years ago. 12 years until 10, 11, 12 years ago. And now this is all I do. My marketing. And, And. And, you know, speaking coach, worlds collide. And now I really just think all a TED Talk is, is a mini marketing campaign for an idea. So I use a lot of my marketing, I use a lot of my psychology. But now all I mostly do is, is help people get their ideas out there.

So.

And then you gave a TED Talk, right?

Yeah, I've given two. I think I'm the only person in the world that's given one in an airport so.

And you became part of the ted. TED Portland, right?

Tedx Portland. Yeah, that was the first place I ever gave a TED Talk. Yep. Or coached a TED Talk.

Yeah, Coach a TED Talk. And then did you do yours also in Portland?

No, I did mine in two different places. Nope. I've only been a coach at TedX Portland.

Okay, so you're part of TedX Portland as, as a coach?

Yep.

For the people that are coming in to do their talks, they have. They work with you or they can.

Yeah, I mean, TedX Portland, we're one of the largest in the world. I know you know that, Gary. A lot of people are like, portland, really? And we're like, yeah, yeah. You know, we have a very high.

Produced and very well oiled machine in our. I won't say that this is like this for every TEDx event, but in our TEDx event when somebody is asked to speak because we don't have an application process actually either, which is very different. A lot of other places do. Even, even Big TED does when we ask somebody to speak, we also will assign them a speaker coach and a designer. So we get also everybody that I work with to help coach them for their talk. At TedX Portland, we also get a designer for like their visuals as well.

Awesome. Okay, so now for the last 10 years, you've been helping people that want to get on ted stages or TedX stages and people that have gotten on TedX stages. So you've seen how many TedX presentations or talks?

Well, before I wrote my, I set out on a challenge. I think you know this. I set out on a challenge before I did my how to Rock a TED Talk program. And I was like, well, even though I'm doing it right now, my sample size is small. I think I understand the psychology behind it now. But I decided that I was going to watch a thousand TED talks before I completed the program. I mean, I've watched, I've watched well over that now. I mean, there were times like I'm brushing my teeth, I'm doing my hair, I'm watching TED talks, I'm in my car, I'm like going to sleep, I'm listening to TED Talks. And I had these like, I had this form that I would fill out and I was kind of keeping a spreadsheet. And then I really, I started to hone in on it because at first it was like, how long did it take? What was the topic? Where did they give it? And then I was like, none of those things matter. Then I started honing on the psychology of it. And I started paying attention to the patterns. And that became the basis for the how to Rock a TED Talk program. I started seeing things like, oh, no matter what they were talking about, they made it be a universal theme. They didn't, if they were talking about, you know, being an architect, they didn't just stay in that space. They found a universal way to tie it back, to tie their idea back to everybody. You know, I saw things like catchy concepts. Simon Sinek was one of the first people to ever Give a TED TEDx Talk When TEDx came on the scene. If you go back and watch his original TED Talk, he's giving it in TEDx Puget Sound, which is a little tiny. You know, it looks like he's giving it in a garage. Basically he has a handheld mic that has some kind of green tape on it. There's a flip chart. I think there's a fly flying around. I mean, it's like the most untech thing ever. But it didn't matter. It went viral and, and he, you know, he launched his book and became extremely famous. Brene Brown, same thing. Tedx Houston. So I, I started watching all of these talks and I, and I just really started paying attention to what, what was there, what was the psychology on why any of these talks, over a million hits or more, what made them so popular?

So what is it that made them so popular?

Oh, a bunch of, so there was 10 elements and I, I, you know, not, not that all of them had all 10 elements, but I, I would say first of all, first and foremost that there was a very clear idea. Like, I think this is where people sometimes, who, they're not really, like, if they're not in the TED world, they're like, I just want to give a TED Talk. They don't understand what we're looking for on the other side, like an organizer of a TED TEDx event. We are looking for people with great ideas. We're not looking for amazing speakers. We're not looking for people that have books necessarily. Right. They're not looking for people that have a platform already. We're like, what are people out there doing? What are the cool things that people are doing that we need to hear from? And we want, we want this like, we want a really good, we want to hear a really good idea from them. What's that unique idea perspective that we haven't heard before?

And that's, that's really the big high level thing. But then of course there's techniques as far as the Delivery. The way that you make, you know, the way that you make this idea catchy, you create a concept around it. Every single book that's out there, pretty much that's a business book, is some kind of catchy concept, right? You have a catchy concept, I have a catch call you. Right? And so that, that was one of the components of it, the universal theme. Sometimes I noticed in a lot of talks there was a low point. There was a point where the speaker would be, would come to some low point and not always was there a resolution. Sometimes there was just a low point and it was like, hey, we need to fix this. Other times there was a twist moment where the person had found their way out. You know.

I know your story, Gary, for instance, and you had a major twist moment in your career and in your life and how you went from being a dentist and to doing what you're doing now and all the purpose that you're living with your. You were giving a TED Talk on that. It would there. That's a major twist moment. And you know, I think delivery wise, people love that. People love to hear this, like, ooh, I could have a twist moment. You know, there was emotional connection.

From stories. I really started to notice that there was prevalent emotions. And it really made me think of the.

Parallels to like movies. Movies are very intentional about the premise. So the premise is basically the idea, right? They have a, they have a premise, but idea. But the premise in a movie. You don't have a mo. Any blockbuster movie that's out there. They didn't go, well, let's just piece this thing together and we'll see what emotions stick. That's not how they do it. They figure out how they want to make people feel and the journey they want to take them on. And so I really noticed that well crafted TED talks were, were done in the same manner. I think a lot of people don't understand too, Gary. I consider. This is my, this is my. These are my personal thoughts, by the way, right here. I consider a TED Talk, a legacy talk. And that's how I always explain it. So anytime somebody comes to me and they say, hey, I want to give a TED Talk, I first want to find out if they're prepared to put in the amount of time, effort and effort and resources possibly to get and deliver this TED Talk. And I think a lot of people, when you see somebody speaking on stage, it may seem simple, it may seem effortless. I promise you, they've put in hundreds of hours of thinking about how to present this idea in a great way, the best way to present it and how to support it, the best way to get the kind of emotion they want to get, the best way to visually represent it, the best way to end it, the best way to pique people's interest, the best way to be different about it. There's a lot of. There's a lot that's put behind it. So, you know, if any of your listeners are listening and they're like, oh, I love TED Talks. And people tell me all the time, I want to give a TED Talk. That could very well be the case. But there, but there is a lot of kind of work that needs to be done for. Well, I hear. I will tell you now, other end of the stick. I see people out there on my feed constantly that are like, I can land you a TED Talk. I mean, I had one of my clients go, yeah, there's this guy out there says if you pay him like three grand, he'll get you a TED Talk. And I'm like, yeah, where's the TED Talk going to be at? And what's the quality? And what? Like, ooh, I'd be very scared of that. Oh, very, very scared. I mean. Yeah.

Is that true? Because how, how can somebody on the outside get you a TED Talk other than just tell you where to go and, and fill out an application for you?

Yep. They can't. Not if they're doing it ethically. And that's one of the first things. If somebody hires me to help them get one, I will tell them I can't do any of the work for you, especially because I can't cross my lines. I can't do any of the work for you. I can't recommend you. I'm not. You're. This is not. You're into TedX Portland? Not by any, you know, no way. I would never recommend anybody that was my client. Like, I, I don't do that, but I will help you. And I know the insides and I know what you need to do. And, and so if you're ready to do all that. Yes. Are there shortcuts? Yeah, probably. I mean, there, there's a, there's a whole level of TEDx events that I would never recommend my clients ever even apply for or try to try to connect to. Not that there's anything wrong with them, but there might be, like a first year event. I don't, I don't want any of my clients to get on a stage where the audio is terrible. I don't want my clients to get on any stage where, where they're not going to be, you know, shed in a, in a good light in any way, shape or form. And because I know that it's going to be on the Internet forever. And so I don't, I want them to look at it five years later and be proud of it.

What do you think is the key then to getting on a TEDx stage? I know you said you got to have a great idea, but what else do they look at? Like, if you were evaluating speakers, how would you choose the one you would pick for the ones?

Yeah, I mean Most of the TEDx events have a theme every year and with the theme they're looking for you and they're usually looking for people local. Most TEDx events will only have maybe 10 to 20% of their speakers coming from outside of that local area. That's supposed to be the heart of what TEDx events are about or you know, locally, independently run TED events. But they're looking for people that will, will fit in with their, you know, what they're running for that year, their program. And I would say that the every single organizer around the world that I've ever met for any level TEDx event, they understand that the TED audience is a very, not just smart and intelligent and brilliant, but a very curious. It's a very curious audience. It's a very like, it's an audience that is very creative in their thinking and they don't want to hear the normal like blah, blah, blah, blah blah blah blah, 10 ways to happiness, five ways to, you know, financial freedom. They're not that they want to hear that idea that's never been said the way it's being said. Like that that's what they're looking for. They're almost like an idea junkie.

And so that's what they're looking for is somebody that can fulfill that.

When you. How important is the title?

Oh, so now we're talking after the title is very important. The title. I mean, that's a whole nother marketing machine right there. You know, the title is extremely important.

I mean, when you're applying, do you need to have the title done or is it better to have the title done?

Depends if you have a good title. If you do, it helps because you, it will show them the, the fit in of like if you've already put enough time and effort and you're like, oh, I'm really feeling secure about this idea angle. I know this, this title would really sell out in the general public. Yes. But I would say yes. And many times the title that you might pitch forward is not what will end up being what gets pitched up to TED later for various reasons. The organizers of that particular TEDx event might be like, no, that doesn't, that doesn't seem right. Your talk itself will probably change quite a bit before you stand on the stage. So it might not make sense anymore.

So ideally have a working title so that you can present it, but then know that it might change as you work on the actual content.

Yes. And I would also say, even for your actual talk, I would say the same thing. But I would also caution you. That would be one thing that I would caution. If you want to talk about something, I mean, they're vetting you, Gary. They're, they're definitely these, the, the job of a TEDx organizer is to like, just to cut out any, all the people that just want the stage for their own benefit and they're really looking for that, like, idea heavy talk. They're vetting you a ton, so you should do the same. You shouldn't speak at a ted, ted, TED or tedx event that might want to change your idea so much that it doesn't feel like it's yours anymore. Or, I mean, I had a client, I'm not going to say her name because it's now, now it's out there. Like, I coached her. She found me when she had already been asked to give a TED TEDx talk. When I started seeing some of the ways that the TEDx organizers were working with her, I said, this is just my professional opinion. I wouldn't give a TED Talk there. I, I, I feel like something majorly is going to go wrong. They don't have their stuff together. They're asking you to do weird things. It's, I don't like any of this and I give her a lot of reasons. She ended up pulling out. They ended up trying to charge her, which is against TED rules. And like, it became this really weird thing. Two months later, she got asked to give another TED Talk for the same thing. She ended up giving the talk. And it's amazing. But that original event, three people like GoT like lost their lines on, on stage because they were trying to make them stick to a script. Like, some horrible things happened at that first event. And I was like, oh, I saw the writing on the wall on that one. I could see it. And I'm, and she was super grateful that she pulled out. She pulled out not knowing that she was going to get another talk. So she had Invested a lot of money and time at that, at that point, and she made a good decision.

What's the best TED Talk you've ever seen?

Oh, people ask me that all the time. I guess it depends on what kind of depends what the answer is. Depends, right? It depends on what? Just there's a lot of different categories. And here, here's what I mean. I'll tell you the one of the most creative ones I've ever seen that I love is Tim Urban's how. How to be a Master Procrastinator. I think he did a really good job of being funny and being light hearted and at the very end of the talk, finding a very creative way to tell us that we're all procrastinating in life in one shape, way, shape or form. Even if you think you're not a procrastinator and that there's things in our lives that we want to accomplish and we should do them before if we don't have enough time. But oh my God, does he do just a great job of, of being funny and you think you're just along for this joy ride and you get to the end and he like slaps you in the face with this idea that you're like, I have to swallow this idea.

So I love that one. That one's creative. I have a sister that lives in Colorado and she, she went to school to be an architect. And I remember for the longest time she's like, did you watch this, this, this one on an architect that, that wrote one about why we should build wooden skyscrapers. And I would say that this one's a little personal to me. I, she kept telling me, would, you know, would you watch it? Would you watch it? But when I started watching it, he was a great example of somebody. When I got three minutes in, I was like, we should build wooden skyscrapers. Like, I was like, I was totally sold on this like idea that I knew nothing about, you know, so that one, that would be the angle for that one, right? It's, it's not like it's the best. I'm not saying it's the best in the world.

There was one that was done on why Dan Pallotta gave a really great TED Talk on why the way we think about charity is dead wrong. And I think he did a really frickin good job of creating this idea of how poorly we run charities and, and how, how we should be running them more like businesses so that they will have more to be able to give more. Like it was just so good the way he technically broke it down and the way he did, you know, but there's a lot of fun. I mean, I have so many, I watch thousands. Right. Gary, ask me an angle. I'll tell you a TED Talk for it.

Well, like, what's the most watched TED Talk of all time? And do you think that one is the best, or did it just happen to get lucky or how did that happen?

Yeah. So the most watched TED Talk of all time, I believe, is still. It held it for at least 10 years. I think it still is. Sir Ken Robinson, why schools or how how schools kill creativity? And I do think that was a very. I mean, I would say that's a globally universal talk. I think he did a phenomenal job of uncovering something that I think we all innately knew. But he did it in such a great way. He also, I will say for the record is this is a TED Talk where his original TED Talk had no visuals, but the way that he spoke about it was so visual that, you know, the RSS draw, like, they had, they have that, like, site where they, like, draw people's things out. Their version of his talk. TED Talk surpassed the TED version for a long time. I don't know if it still is right now, but for the longest time. But the funny thing to me was always like, that's still the number one TED Talk, because I think he created such a visual in our head of what he was talking about. It was phenomenal.

I've seen that one a few times and it, yeah, really, really good. I even looked to see what the latest grade is, you know, the latest, most watched one one. But it's probably. Is that same one.

Yeah.

So for those listening, if you haven't seen that one.

I had forgotten now what it was even about. But I just remember that I really liked him and I really liked the way he spoke and I really liked, you know, it's funny because I listened to that one or watched that one before I was doing any speaking myself. So it'll be. Probably be great to go back and rewatch that and I'll have a new perspective, most likely.

Yeah, I bet you will. I mean, I, you know, I, I still remember the idea of what he had, which was like schools create factories and they tried to put all kids through these, these factories that. That really squash creativity. I mean, it was a pretty simple idea, but the way that he supported it was brilliant. Yeah. I mean, it was phenomenal. Yeah, it was, it was a great talk.

Well, I know this year One of my goals is to do a TEDx talk. I keep saying that, but I haven't put in the time to make it happen.

But this year, that, that's going to have, that's going to be part of it. And so what advice would you give to me in, in getting on the right stage?

Yep. You know, and Gary, this advice, it probably will transfer to a lot of people, but in your case in particular, I would, I would say a couple things. First of all, you've created a great, you know, system. You have this great system. You have, your big, strong thing is you have this undertone of this great story of how you switched your career, what you're doing now, how you're helping so many people. But your big trap, the, the thing that's good for you can be your big trap, too, because it could be the thing where I, I know you and I had talked about this at one point. Could be the thing where a TED organizer looks at you and goes, oh, well, he's got the system. He's already doing like, he's already speaking. He already seen, like, it seems like he's in that, you know, professional speaker space, which they're kind of very much against a little bit. I mean, I wouldn't say against is the right word. Maybe that's strong, but it's, it's more like looking for people that are doing phenomenal things that aren't necessarily given a limelight. I, if I were you, I would re, I would find out, I would take enough time to research some critical TEDx places that you feel like you'd be a natural fit in. For instance, I just coached somebody that is a Vegas performer and he's also part of, like, he has rock and roll in his history. And I was like, well, yours are easy, Memphis. Like, I mean, there's a lot of places, you know, Nashville, I can look at a lot of these places and go, you'd be a natural fit in, in some of these places. So you have to kind of look and go, well, what would make sense? Where's my best opportunity to fit in? Well, I would also be telling you, Gary, you're, you're a premier person. Like, you have premier, that your brand is great. Don't Even look at TEDx events that aren't a thousand or more that don't go. Go look at their history. Go look at how many camera angles they have. Go look at how well their audio is. Go look at what they produced in the past. Care about that. I don't want you to just give a TED Talk and be like, check, TED Talk. You might not get as lucky as Simon Sinek. And I think we think he got away with it more because it was early on. I don't think we're going to get away with it anymore, you know.

But I would be. I would be asking you also to be really honing your idea. Really find that way. Look at it through a TED organizer's eyes and go, how have we never seen this before? If I hear it, does it sound like it's a little bit like Simon Sinek's, you know, and, you know, and you and I have talked about that, because yours goes beyond that. But will they hear that at first? Is that what they're going to see? Because if they're going, oh, there's somebody out there that gave a TED Talk like this. And Gary, you're like, nope, no, they haven't. Yeah, so it's about. It's about really making sure that you show that unique angle. I always say there's like a. There's a general topic, there's a general idea, and then there's your specific idea. Nobody can talk about your specific idea. Anybody can talk about the topic, anybody can talk about the general idea. But once you find this, nobody can. Nobody can do it but you.

So how many applications does a TEDx organizer have to look at?

Oh, so many. So many. So many. Yeah.

And how do they pick it? Just how it matches their theme.

Yeah, I mean, everybody does it in a different way. I have friends that run, you know, different events all over the world. Uh, some people get together with a group of 20, 30 people. Like, they'll have a whole bunch of their volunteers, and they're like, all right, let's try to do our due diligence and go through all of them. So you're going to take a hundred? I'm going to take a hundred. Yeah, I'm going to take. You know, and then, like, let's sit here for hours and we'll go through them. Some of them look for keywords. Some of them are like, we can't open. We can't even open every single one. Some of them are like, I'm just. We're going to. There's like 20 keywords. Let's, like, sift through them and try to find these keywords. You know, some of them will look at the titles only. You were saying before, right? Some of them will just look at the titles and go, okay, let's look at the titles before we're. I'm not even going to try to look at somebody's video submission if I don't get through this first thing. Some of them are holding auditions now. Some of them are, that's, you know, first you put in an application and then if you get chosen through, and then they'll have a bunch of people on a big zoom room and they'll have one organizer, one part of the team running. You know, they might have 10 people in, in there that are auditioning. In another room will be another 10 people and they're trying to weed it down. You gotta stand out. That's the big thing. Your idea has to be ted. What I would call TED worthy has to feel like it's never been heard the way that you're saying it before. Even if, even if the general topic and the general idea have been.

Yeah, and there's how many TED TEDx talks have been given? Do you know?

I mean, it's got to be in the hundreds of thousands. Now there's a, if you go look at the TED site where it's like Ted.com and I think it's/tedx events, there's a really great site. And they, they will show you one of two ways. You can choose where, where TEDx events are going on by geography, where they're going on in the world, or you can switch it to a list by date. I mean, literally any day, Gary, any day of the week. Today there's a TEDx event going on somewhere. Could be in Tokyo, could be, you know, could be anywhere. Tomorrow there's one going on. There might be five going on tomorrow. I mean, every day you'll see them popping up. There might be one at a university somewhere in Canada tomorrow.

And then you have to do the research on getting to the right size one. Is there an easy way to do that? Or you just have to look at them all.

You got to kind of look at them. You, there's, there's some big ones out there that are kind of well known. You know, I like to have people searching on Google first because that's usually where you'll find. You know, you can kind of funnel it down to finding the bigger ones that will come up before all the other ones doing the same thing on YouTube. Search for the, search for the ones that have the most hits and then go TedX Charleston. It's kind of out of the blue, you're like, whoa, they do a phenomenal job. Go look at some of theirs. Right? But a lot of their talks have, have, have garnished like million plus hits, you know, and you're like, okay, they're doing something right. They're getting people on their stage, they've got good ideas, they're producing it well. So it's kind of doing your homework. And if, again, I really warn against people going out there just getting one to get one, it's not good for your reputation.

Yeah. So last question. Will change. Change directions just a little bit.

Yeah.

What's the best piece of advice that you've ever been given or the best piece of advice you've ever given?

Hmm. I don't know about given. So I'll tell you the one that I've heard. Okay.

When I was. I love this story. When I was on my journey to become an Olympic level fast pitch softball pitcher, I joined a gym when I was 17. There was only one gym at the time that would allow anybody under 18 to join that I could go on my own. And I went to this gym and I had to drive 25 miles to get there. Go to this gym every day. I'm very diligent about lifting weights on my arms so I could be stronger. And this gym, they had, all of the people that worked there had a black shirt on. And on the, on the back it just had a quote. It wasn't. Attributed it to anybody, it just had a quote. And it said, there's no such thing as staying the same. You're either striving to get better or you're allowing yourself to get worse.

And I never in my life forgotten that line. I mean, I know the line verbatim. I can still see it. It's like imprinted in my brain. I can remember the font, the way it looked like. I think it's one of the best pieces of advice I've ever seen. And I believe the universe delivered it to me somehow.

What part of that statement sticks out to you the most?

That you should always be in a mode of, of. Of striving, challenging yourself. Here's where the challenge comes in. Right. Should always be challenging yourself to get better. There's. You're not going to stay the same. You're only going to allow yourself to get worse. I don't know. That really picks at my. That really picks at, at something inside of me. Like, you should, you should try. Doesn't mean I. Doesn't mean you have to be the best. I don't know. And I started playing pickleball as, you know, like I'm. I'm now competitive in tournaments. Do I have to be the best in the world. No, but I'm always going to strive. I always want to get better. I want to get better.

That's awesome. You know, when you went through and discovered your yos and it came up with. So for those of you that are listening.

Kathy's why is to challenge the status quo, think differently. How she does that is by finding better ways. And then ultimately what she brings is a trusting relationship where others can count on her. And so when you went through and discovered that or saw that, how did that feel to you?

Yeah, I, you know, Gary, it, it really, it made sense in hindsight. It made sense for all the reasons I didn't think I was smart when I was growing up. It was really that creative brain that wanted to challenge and find a better way. It wasn't, it wasn't. The school was killing my creativity. How all this would come full circle, right?

It it. And then the trust piece was even a bonus. Gary, I love that because it's not even just like you get down to this level. And I think that one's a really critical one too. It's like, even if you have the first two, how do you do it? I definitely, I mean I've already made mention of some things. I don't do things in an unethical way. I, when I help people, they know they can trust me. When I give them advice, they usually take it. Why? Because I'm, they're trusting what I'm saying. And I, I, I show up as a trusted person. But I never really that didn't connect to my success. It didn't connect to how I show up in my family until I saw it. And then it was like.

It just kind of eyes wide open was pretty.

Love it. I love it. So Kathy, if there are people that are listening that want to connect with you, want to work with you, want you to coach them, help you help them do better with their TED Experience and TED Talk or TEDx Talk. What's the best way for them to get a hold of you?

Well, I am the only Kathy Ernest in the world so you can find there yeah C A T H E y have an E in there and armies a R M I L L a s but all you can find me that way all over socials. My website's kathyhermeus.com everything.

Awesome.

Well, Kathy, I am so glad we finally got to do this. Finally got to spend some time together and it's been super helpful for me and I'm sure for the listeners on, you know, what the Heck is a TEDx talk and how do you what are the steps to making a great one? And how do you get on a TEDx stage? So thank you so much for being here.

Thank you, Gary. Appreciate you.

I really hope you enjoyed today's episode and that through today's guest, you heard how important it is to know your why and how impactful it can be in your life and the lives of those around you. Be sure to head over to whyinstitute.com and discover your why today. Remember, the more you know about yourself, the more you'll know about others. I'm Dr. Gary Sanchez and I'll see you on the next episode.