Shift Your Mindset 3 Steps to Calm Mom-M.D., Ed.M. #harvard #podcast #parenting #momlife

Dr. Juna Bobby teaches adaptive journaling, a three-step method to calm anxiety: label your emotion, reframe with curiosity, then write one small action. Traditional venting reinforces negative patterns, but this approach engages your prefrontal cortex and triggers dopamine-driven momentum.
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As perfectionists, we can get stuck, especially when not everything is under our control. In times of uncertainty, that stuck feeling doesn't come from laziness or a lack of effort. It comes from mental overload and emotional spiraling. You know what I'm talking about, right? I know I've been there. So if you're a high-achieving, wellness-minded parent or professional, you know how frustrating it is to feel like you're doing so much, but you're not moving forward enough. In this episode, I'm gonna share simple neuroscience-backed methods that I call adaptive journaling as a tool to regain clarity and shift your brain out of fight-flight survival mode and into real momentum. So you're gonna walk away with powerful prompts based on neuroscience and an example from real life and a free downloadable guide. So stick around. Hi, I'm Dr. Juna Bobby MD, and I talk about everything resilience. And when we talk about resilience, we're bouncing back from setbacks, not to the same place, but to a place higher than before. And that occurs with learning. So if you've been in challenging situations, you know that mental flexibility and adaptability is the key to resilience. And our next episode is gonna be with Sean Brosnan, the legendary high school coach who led an unknown high school track team to national titles, Division I scholarships, and even to the Olympics. So don't forget to subscribe. And today's episode is a science-backed actionable follow-up to our last episode with author and journaling expert Bianca Turecki. So journaling is an art, but it's also a science. Venting into your journal or spiraling about your stress or recalling negative events into a journal can actually reinforce negative pathways in your brain. That's why it doesn't always help to perseverate and rehash things that were negative. The method of journaling really matters. So I call it adaptive journaling, and this is your guide to go from brain survival mode into clarity. Here are the 3 steps. Label what you feel, reframe it with curiosity, and write one small doable step. We're gonna talk about why this matters and how to do it. So these steps activate your prefrontal cortex, which calms your limbic system, the emotional center. You probably heard of amygdala by now, so that's part of the limbic system. And the curiosity and the actionable steps are what will drive your brain out of fight flight. Into action mode because your brain really wants to solve problems. So let's go through a little example of how we might use this. I mean, you can use this anywhere, anytime. It doesn't have to be long, a few minutes even, or it could be as long as 20 minutes. So let's go through a classic chaotic morning. I remember this conversation that I had with one of the other doctor moms when our kids were little and she had spent the morning crying, sitting on her front steps because they had overslept. The kids didn't have anything ready. Somebody spilled something at breakfast, and it was a total meltdown. This happens to the best of us. So here are the 3 neuroscience-backed journaling prompts for busy people. Emotional labeling. In this case, we're overwhelmed. There's so many things going on. Why does this work? It helps us identify the dominant emotion that we're feeling, and it kicks in our language system. It gives us a little bit of distance from the feeling. And then we can explore and engage our prefrontal boss brain in regulating our emotions. Second step is adapted reframing. Reframing is when you take your perspective and then you step back. Now we've been able to step back cuz we label the emotion. We can now reframe the entire scenario. It's not like the end of the world. It is just a late morning. It's just a disorganized morning. Here you can write about the challenge that happened. Then actually look at the reality of the situation rather than making cognitive errors like catastrophizing, when our brains tend to blow things out of proportion. This step allows for us to become flexible, improve our problem solving, and put a stop to a spiraling down into a depressive style of thinking. Here in the example, we could write, oh, it's a disorganized morning. It's not the end of the world, right? That will bring us to the third step, microsteps for momentum. So this is where we satisfy our brain's urge to solve problems. We need to have an action step. We can't just go spinning out. We need to give it a solution. That way our brain says, okay, we could put this away for now. We have a solution. We know what's gonna happen. It's that control part of our brain. So here we can list one tiny reachable step that we can take right in that moment. Or for the next time. Even these small wins release dopamine and it reinforces motivation and drive. So we can reframe the situation here and say, I got this. Now I know what went wrong and we can get better organized for tomorrow morning. So that's a win. So the reframe is, it's not the end of the world. This was a disorganized morning. It happens to everyone, which is all true. You're not trying to fool yourself or lie to yourself. I, I'm gonna get through this. We can stay calm. And that's the win. And then the micro action will be, we are all going to get organized tonight for tomorrow morning. So like everything else, it takes practice, but as you do it more often, you'll get better and faster at it. You might even take a few minutes, or sometimes you might even be able to just do it in your head, but always writing it out is advantageous. And especially when you're overwhelmed, it can help you get into that metacognitive perspective where you can see things from a high level and not just from the colored lenses of whatever our brain is layering onto that situation. So oftentimes when we have little things happen, we can catastrophize it because we might be thinking about something from the past that we really didn't have control over. But most situations we do have some control over, and we can problem solve. So now if you're doing this with a kid and they had a meltdown, let's say, and they got a problem wrong, for example, instead of just saying, don't worry, you're smart, or you can do this again, try these journaling prompts. Ask them what they feel. So naming that emotion is going to bring on that prefrontal cortex. Frustrated. Then help with one possible reframing. Mistakes and learning can sometimes feel frustrating. But frustration is a signal that I am learn— that I am learning. You can tell them that when neurons make new connections, it's helping their brains grow, and sometimes it can feel like it's hard, but when we shift perspective around it, you're gonna get that boost of curiosity, which will make it seem less hard. And then finally, the next tiny step is I can ask for help. Are they gonna email the teacher? Are they gonna ask a friend? Are they gonna use AI to help explain these problems? You're gonna go to Khan Academy. Journaling in this way, in these 3 steps, will build metacognitive skills, the ability to coach oneself, step outside of our immediate thoughts and emotions to be able to coach ourselves and improve our emotional resilience. There you have it. Journaling prompts to increase your resilience, increase mental flexibility, focus, the ability to focus on what you need to focus on, save time, and motivate yourself to move forward. There's another style of journaling called expressive journaling, which we will cover in another episode. So don't forget to subscribe. And if you're a wellness-minded parent raising kids in a fast-paced world, this isn't just about calming yourself down. It's about using neuroscience to gain the tools to focus, reflect, and improve mental strength. Adaptive journaling is a foundational practice, and we teach it in our digital courses for K through 12 plus. So check that out at mindbodyspace.com. If you want the exact prompts that we talked about today, go ahead and grab your free guide at mindbodyspace.com/journal. If you're on Instagram @mindbodyspacepodcast, we'll have it sent right to your inbox. If you're ready to go deeper, our digital courses are built for families like yours. High performance, wellness-driven, grounded in neuroscience. For younger kids and even older kids, we have the Brain Bun plush doll and book series, as well as multimedia content so that they can learn these skills while their brain is learning the routines that they could have for a lifetime. You, your brain and your body are unique. Try these prompts, track what works, build your own guide for yourself. Nobody is the same, and a lot of these studies are helpful, but they're not for individuals. They're just scientific studies that give us clues along the way. So thanks for joining me today. I'm Dr. Juna Bobby MD. I'm a mom of two amazing people. I'm a board-certified physician specializing in lifestyle medicine with a master's in education from Harvard. I've dedicated my whole career to teaching kids about their brain and stress and time so that they can have empowering knowledge to help them thrive. Thank you.
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