45. Connecting the Dots between Skincare, Hormones and Mindfulness with Dr. Kiera

Welcome to my podcast. I'm Dr. Nicole Cain, a naturopathic doctor with a master's in clinical psychology and a former anxiety sufferer turned anxiety freedom rebel. Welcome to the get your life back podcast. You are in for a treat. Today I have with me Dr. Kira. Did I say your name right, honey?

You did, you did.

Good, good, good.

So that's really good. So Dr. Kiera with me and I saw you originally in an interview with Dr. Trevor and the conversation was so good and so interesting I was actually not intending to send on my phone, but just hearing her talk with you, I really resonated with what you were bringing to the table. And so from that moment I was like, okay, Haley, who's my branding expert, I was like, haley, we got to get this brilliant woman on the podcast. So thank you for being here. Oh, that's the sweetest.

Thank you. I'm excited to have a conversation.

The thing that I especially loved and what I, I'm really excited to bring to the listeners is how you bring together menopause, skin and mindfulness. And I have to say I have not encountered many doctors who are able to bring all of those pieces to the table and speak about them from a really educated yet philosophically broad and open hearted and open souled perspective. And it felt like such a breath of fresh air to hear you speak about those things.

Oh, I'm speechless. Now.

I'm going to ask you a ton of questions about that and as we get started, what I do want to make sure that everyone who's listening does is you're going to want to follow Dr. Kira's account. So you're going to want to make sure that you get on her Instagram. She's Also on Facebook, LinkedIn, she has a link tree that has a ton of amazing free resources which we'll make sure to include in the show notes and of course her website. So if you're listening to this and you're somewhere where you're not going to be a traffic hazard by pulling out your phone, I want you to open up your Instagram and I want you to put her information in there and follow her account. It's D R K E I R A B A r r. So Dr. Kira Barr and then her website is the second place you want to go and that's Dr. Kirabar.com and so make sure that you do that and then you're going to be able to get access to all sorts of wonderful stuff that she'll tell us about. The thing that doc that I'm super excited about that. You have going on is the seven ways to relieve stress in less than seven minutes. I'm going to ask you about that, but if you don't mind, can I just brag on you a little bit and read your bio to the audience?

Sure.

All right, you guys, this is so amazing. I admire Dr. Kara. I marry you so much. Her bio blending Science with Soul, Dr. Kara Barr turns conventional methodologies on their heads to empower women worldwide to stress less, enjoy life more so they can pursue their passion, purpose and experience more pleasure in their life. An accomplished double certified physician, speaker, coach and mind body medicine expert, Dr. Kiera created this skinny dipping method to help women strip away the layers, holding them back to reveal their inner resilience and radiate their true beauty. As a medical advisor within the personal care and tech communities, Dr. Kira Bar is dedicated to providing the most cutting edge and innovative solutions for women. And her work has been featured in mindbody Green, Better Homes and Gardens, Reader's Digest, Glamour, Self, Oprah Magazine and more. So welcome, welcome. Thank you so much for being here.

Thank you.

It's a pleasure. I'm excited for this.

I was wondering if you could tell us a little bit about your story and what brought you into this wonderful blend of menopause, skin, mindfulness and helping people on this platform.

Yeah, I'm laughing because it's not a glamorous story. It's basically when your mess becomes your mission. I went into dermatology, at least I thought I went into dermatology because I couldn't make up my mind. I loved internal medicine, I loved histology and my dual certification is clinical dermatology and dermatopathology, setting skin on the surface as well as on the cellular level. And dermatology was this wonderful blend of internal medicine and pediatrics and surgery and histology and you could do aesthetics. And so I never had to make a decision. I could do it all and I love that. But what I realized as my health began to fall apart and I had to really do some self reflection, I realized why I chose dermatology is because starting in my childhood, I felt so uncomfortable in my skin. I was made fun of for what was on it. I was bullied and called names and realized that our skin could be such a source of shame and embarrassment. I internalized that and really became the compass from which I navigated every decision. If people didn't like what they saw on my skin, then they probably didn't like. So I became a people pleaser. And really just all the woods, all the coulds, all the shoulds. And on one hand it allowed me to do well in school and become a doctor and all the things, but on the other hand, it really made me pretty miserable. And ultimately the focus of my career when I was in practice was skin cancer and melanoma. And ultimately I had to diagnose myself with the very thing that I was treating. I had to diagnose myself with melanoma. And it turned out when I looked at everything that was happening in my life at the time, I was running ultramarathons, I was working in academics, I was trying to juggle my kids, my skin was changing, changing moles all the time. Ultimately that one that was really atypical. But I was bloated and I had worsening pms and my periods were lasting for weeks and weeks at a time. And my hormones were just a mess. My doctors weren't understanding, they weren't connecting the dots. And really what it was was stress. It was stress. It was the physical stress of over exercising. It was the emotional stress of not being aligned with who I was, what I was doing, and being in a work environment that wasn't conducive to supporting me and my health. Just the skin cancer was a wake up call. But that was just the tip of the iceberg. And I thought, okay, I feel like I'm at rock bottom right now and I'm a physician and I don't know how in the world to help myself. How is the average woman supposed to understand how to navigate their own health? And that really led me to more of an integrative and functional approach. What I realized with my hormones, how I wound up with in menopause medicine, is the stress shifted all my hormones out of balance. But I was entering perimenopause and I didn't even know it. I didn't even know what that was. And again, I'm a physician granted dermatologist who we weren't necessarily focusing on hormones per se, sex hormones per se. And so that idea of stress and how it disrupts our overall health and well being, but especially our hormones and our sex hormones, and becoming aware that mindfulness component that's kind of connecting all those dots for me, because what shows up on your skin is a reflection of what's happening in your life. And my skin was sending me huge messages and signals that what was happening in my life was not serving my overall health. So that's kind of a long winded explanation of when shit hits the fan. You figure out how to pivot, get it together, and then pay it forward.

You did it in a unique way where you created an integration of these different parts. So I love to study ego state and internal family systems. These are trauma informed philosophies we use in psychology. And what they speak about is the formation of an ego state in response to something that's painful or difficult or traumatic. And so, for example, you had this younger self and she had these skin expressions and felt, you use the words like there was bullying and there was shame and there was a lack of confidence. And so this part of you developed, and what's beautiful and fascinating about your journey is that you didn't ignore her as you began the process of healing and recovering.

So.

So that part remains, and we've seen in the brain science that these parts can be lodged in areas of the cortex that are non verbal and non logical, just the way that we feel. And then you have these experiences as you get older, and you're making all of the right choices for all intents and purposes.

Right.

You're running a marathon, you're eating right, doing all of the things, and yet you're still noticing that your symptoms are there. And now you have these perimenopausal symptoms and these menstrual irregularities on top of it. And so these could be argued as different ego states. Okay, our hormones are out of bounds. We need to communicate this. So this is my job. I'm the hormone part. And then you have the other part that was producing all these other symptoms that you're describing. And so you have these separate, distinct ego states and probably lots more because you're a human being. And what I admire about the work that you do is that you didn't just focus on one. We call that the identified patient. Right. It's like, okay, skin is the problem. How can I make the skin better? But rather, you had this wisdom to recognize that your symptoms were expressions from your body, from your mind, from your spirit, that the way that you were in your life wasn't what was serving your soul. And I'm curious a little bit more how you were able to integrate and bring together all of those parts of yourself.

It's still a work in progress. I will not lie. Yeah, I think I've always been very aware of, when I was in clinic and academics, how significant when people would show up with acne or psoriasis and the impact that it had on their. I remember one boy in particular, he came in, really bad acne and his hair Was really long over space and he didn't look up, he didn't make eye contact. I know there's a lot of controversy out there about is Accutane safe? And it is a godsend for individuals who really have failed all other therapy. As we began to treat him and as his skin improved, his hair got shorter, he started to make eye contact. He actually had a levity about him and we could finally laugh together. This was before all my health challenges. I thought of him a lot. It impacts us how we feel in our skin. What we see impacts how we feel, how we feel impacts how we we look. And we always think about this top down approach. It's our brain that there's these connections and communication in our brain and this hypothalamic, pituitary, adrenal access and it sends the signals and the stress hormone and all the other. And our skin is receiving those signals and then responding. But what most people may not appreciate is that our skin has the same mechanism. We have an HPA axis in our skin. Our skin can produce the stress hormones, it can reduce adrenaline or adrenaline and some of our sex hormones, it not only perceives stress, but it can create that similar response. Having that understanding that it's a two way street. And the science and the literature that supports the impact that mindfulness and tuning into how we are feeling can dramatically improve the clinical appearance of our skin too, which affects how we feel. I mean it's just fascinating and just synthesizing that. I don't know if any of that makes sense, but it's just like from my own experience of how I would feel badly when I would see things, but seeing it in other people and then finding that there's actually evidence for this really made it so important for me to share and help people redefine what skin care really is like. You cannot exfoliate away your anxiety. You cannot get confidence from a lotion or a potion or procedure. We really have to understand what's happening within us and pay attention and not judge it and understand that your skin is this amazing thing. Most people look at their skin and they're like it's sabotaging me or it looks terrible or it's a source of what the is happening. I would invite everyone listening to look at your skin as your greatest ally. Your skin is sending you information. Yes, you're breaking out and it's before a big event or before a big date. And it's unfortunate and it's terrible timing, but it's also sending you a signal Loud and clear, that it needs something from you. And we need to look at how you're living, how you're thinking, how you're moving, who you're spending time with, what's in your environment, what are you putting on your skin. All of those things matter. And that when you are paying attention and offering your body what it's asking for or what it needs. And sometimes we do need coaches and doctors and other support system to help us understand that. But your skin can be your greatest cheerleader, very crappy confidant. It will tell all your secrets, but it's the gossip that you want to hear because then you're empowered to do something about it.

So, yeah, there's so much brilliance. I feel like you have all these wonderful, I don't want to like, one liners. Like your skin is your best gossip. Is that, is that how you word it?

I would say it's your greatest cheerleader, crappiest confidant.

Crappiest confidant. I love that and I love the reciprocal relationship that you're talking about because I feel like it's really balanced.

You shared this really, really profound story.

About this young man and how while your skin is. And I want to talk more about this, about how your skin is producing stress responses. I didn't know that. That's fascinating. So I'm going to come back to that in a moment. But I really don't want to miss the point that you made about, yes, doing the work to get to the root cause, to hear the voice, to look at your life, to look at that mind, body relationship that is important and shouldn't be ignored. And at the same time, there is a. There is a way that we feel when our skin isn't looking clear and feeling good. And so sometimes using things like Accutane, even though it's not necessarily getting to the root cause, it can be life transforming and it can create that space.

To do the work 100%. And that's why it's an integrative approach and integration. And I actually have stepped away from the clinical. I'm certified in integrative dermatology, but I refer a lot of that out to my colleagues because I really do love more of the trying to dig a little bit deeper and strip away the layers. That's really what skinny dipping is about. And that's the hard work. Not many people want to go there. It's a lot easier to put on the lotion. It's a lot easier to get a little Botox, a little filler but here's the thing, shifting gears just a little bit to the aesthetic. There's statistics that the average American woman spends upwards of $250,000 on her appearance over her lifetime. That's a shit ton of money. And then if you look at the doves, statistics, like 96% of women don't feel beautiful. So here's the disconnect, right? That is a ton of money. The vast majority of women don't feel beautiful. And why is that? A lot of it is how we've been socialized, our society, for better, for worse. Like, I'm not anti procedure, but it's the intention behind it and understanding why we're doing it and digging deep and understanding what thoughts are going through our head that are driving us in that direction. But we have to do that work in order to get a return on that investment. There are times where something like Accutane or Biologic may be necessary to create that bridge or aesthetic procedure, like Botox, for instance. There are great studies looking at Botox and depression. And I was administering Botox. I use Botox. The reason why I got Botox in the first place years ago was because I hated my job and I had tension headaches. So I needed to relax those muscles. But I will 100% be an advocate for someone if they want something like Botox to relax the angry elevens, if it means that they stop scowling at themselves in the mirror and stop beating the crap out of themselves and have a kinder, gentler conversation, because that's where the healing begins.

And your cells are listening.

Your cells are listening.

So if you can help, you know.

It'S like the angry elevens, if you can relax those muscles. You look in the mirror and you see my face looks so much happier. I feel good about it. And then the cells are like, oh, I hear this message. And then your cells respond. And so it's curious, and I know this is going a little bit off of what you and I had intended to talk about, but you're so full of wisdom, and I was wondering if you could touch just a little bit more on the stress response in the skin and how the skin can actually, you said, produce its own hormones.

It's fascinating. It is so fascinating. So the skin actually does have its own HPA axis. So when we are stressed, our body prioritizes survival. And so the goal is to generate cortisol, the primary stress hormone. And we know that cortisol is terrible for your skin. When cortisol levels increase, cortisol breaks down your collagen and your elastin, which gives your tissue that youthful, plump appearance. The result is more fine lines, wrinkles, and skin sag. It also prevents wound healing. When you're stressed, it's not your imagination that your skin is breaking out. It is because cortisol stimulates those oil glands and producing sebum. That is one of the four primary components of what drives acne. There's so many more. When cortisol elevates, as I mentioned, it's like a domino effect. The neuroendocrine system, there's the HPA axis, your adrenals creating the cortisol, and then you've got the HPT access. Your thyroid hormone can get out of whack, and then your HPG axis, your sex hormones, all your hormones have the same building block. If your body's prioritizing cortisol, all those other hormones are taking a backseat. That impacts your skin significantly. Within your skin itself, it can generate that cortisol. It can generate the epinephrine and the norepinephrine. It has that synthetic adrenal medullary system. It's just fascinating. When those hormones are created, then it triggers this cascade of inflammation. It's like a double whammy. Your skin's producing it, your brain's producing these hormones and signals and. And so your skin is just getting beaten up. And so it's not that we are stressed, stress is part of life, but it's learning how we respond to it and learning how we can be empowered to help modulate the stress response so that our skin actually has an opportunity to repair, regenerate, and serve the function that it needs to serve, which is regulating your temperature, protecting you from infection, and repairing from the environmental damage like ultraviolet radiation and air pollution. So I don't know if that actually answered your question, but.

It'S so fascinating. And I have this urge to dive in even more with you. But I'm sure our listeners want to hear all my questions. But what I do want to really emphasize is it can be kind of a vicious feedback loop where you're stressed and then your hypothalamic pituitary adrenal access is responding to adapt to that stress. And then your skin is responding, and so then your skin is producing its own stress hormones, which is impacting your skin, which then impacts your emotional well being. To clarify, can the cortisol that my skin produces actually impact my physical experience of stress? Like if my skin is stressed, can I then feel anxious and stressed?

Yes. So it is a two way. It is a two way street and everything is connected. So it is fascinating and there are really amazing studies. And this is why when I work with women, and so I do, I focus on women going through the menopausal phase of life. Things are changing. So a lot of it is women look in the mirror and they see maybe their hair is thinning, their eyebrows are thinning, there are more wrinkles. And they come thinking, I want to look better, like, what creams can I use? And I'm like, that's not the primary issue. There are things that I can recommend and I'll send you to my colleagues if you really want other stuff. But this is information about the state of where your hormones are at your stress level, how you're eating, how you're sleeping, all of that. When we learn how to acquire tools, especially even breathing, breathing is the fastest way to reset our nervous system, activate that vagus nerve, the relaxation response, we can bring down that stress response and normalize that cortisol level again so that we can feel less anxious, especially in midlife. Turning in our mid to late 30s, our progesterone is the first sex hormone to start to decline. Progesterone is our great calmer. It has that interplay with gaba, helping calm our nervous system and our brain. Well, when you're stressed, as I mentioned earlier, that HPG axis, that production of our sex hormones is already taking a backseat. Then you're in midlife, where your hormones are naturally declining. Yes, you're going to feel more anxious. You may not sleep as well. It's like a double hit. If we can support your body's ability to help calm your nervous system, then you're going to feel less anxious, you're going to sleep better, feel more at peace. And it starts with learning to appreciate the skin of yours. Right. Rather than having contempt for it, look at it and say thanks. And I know that's hard. I know that seems weird a little. But it's like if we could shift the perspective, like, oh, it's giving me data. I'm not exactly sure what it is. I might need help to sort this one out, but my body's telling me I need something, I need support. Maybe I need to take a time out. Maybe I need to get outside or whatever it is and spend time doing things that really bring pleasure. To shift how we actually see the skin of ours will actually even help with feeling more at peace and at calm. Because you know your body is working for you, not against you.

You're really calling for a redefinition, if you will, of skin care.

My God, that has been always my mission. Like redefine what skin care is if I can.

And I'm sure the beauty industry hates me to a certain degree, so I'm like, that cream ain't working and there are great products out there, but that is like icing on the cake. That is kind of your. It's a nice to have, right? But what we need to have is starting from everything that's inside us. And. And I know that that's not easy. And I'm not saying I'm perfect at it. I am still on this journey myself. But when I know that, when I am buffering the emotion and not addressing it right, like I don't want to, I'm having a thought that creates this uncomfortable feeling. And instead of taking the time to process that or be with it and not judge it, and I eat more sugar or have my glass of wine like my skin will. My tell is I get dryness around my, around my mouth and dark circles under my eyes. And it's like, girl, face your shit. Like deal with it, don't be afraid of it and take some time for you. And so I'm right there with every other woman, right? I'm right there.

I resonate so much with that. I'm reflecting on my journey. I needed you. A decade ago when I was so stressed, I was building a private practice. I redesigned and started teaching the psychology, medical psychology curriculum at a my alma mater medical school. And there was so much stress. And at that time I was treating mostly bipolar and schizophrenia, which is pretty high need a high knee population. And it got to the point where my stress stopped whispering and started shouting and I stopped sleeping.

I was in this constant state of panic.

I lost so much weight because I couldn't eat. I stopped having my period and I developed these really dark circles under my eyes, which is incredibly disturbing because I confess I am a slightly vain person. I want to look pretty. Approached it as separate things. I went to Sephora and I was shocked. Show me the best cream for under eye circles. And spent a stupid amount of money. And of course I was working on my stress and working on my emotional well being and that's what launched my entire mission similar to you. Our mess can become our mission. And so out of that I feel like I arose with this sense of purpose to help people triumph. Anxiety, depression, insomnia. And what I love about this conversation with you is that there was another piece of my puzzle How I felt about how I looked. And still you can't see because I have a good ring light, but I have dark circles under my eyes and I'm very sensitive about. And what I'm learning from you and what I've learned by following you on your Instagram and your social media is that we, the two, are really married together, for better or for worse. And so being intentional and looking at this new definition of skincare and understanding that your skin is expressing your suffering, your skin is trying to give you data on how to heal. So if somebody listening to this conversation is in my shoes or your shoes, they're struggling, they're under a lot of stress, their hormones are changing and their chief concern is the angry elevens. But you look at them and you see, babe, there's so much more. What are some practical things that that woman can do right now to start in the journey towards truly healing that work that you're calling for us to do?

Yeah, I would not just, I mean, here's the thing. If dealing with those angry elevens and getting a little Botox will be the window of opens the door to healing, I say go for it. And we really need to do that inventory of what's going on. How are you feeling? What's your biggest challenge right now? And really look and do a life inventory. When I start working with women, we do, we do a deep dive. I always talk about it's like tapping into our senses, that concept of mindfulness, but really tapping into our senses of sleep, environment, nutrition, stress, exercise, and that s for skin health as well as sex. Sex is really important.

I saw your post on that.

Of.

Skin, skin and sex and all the things and our hormones and our well being and it's a great stress relief. But in midlife, like if you're not feeling good in your skin or you're worried about your saggy boobs or your cellulite or whatever, you're not going to feel sexy, you're not necessarily going to want to have sex. And that's where mindfulness comes in, right? Why don't we want sex? Why don't we enjoy it? Or women orgasm? Because we're worrying about what just happened beforehand or the pile of dishes or what we've got to do afterwards. And we're not in this present moment. This is where the joy and the pleasure comes from, is being here as women. We get, I think, just bombarded by so much. There's women, their moms, they have careers, they're trying to meet expectations of what's outside of them, rather than tuning into what would make. What are they really hungry for? What do they want? And it distracts us from enjoying what we've got. And it shows up as those frowns and the wrinkles, really doing a deep dive. That's we strip. Like, as I said, like getting naked. When I was practicing in a traditional derm practice and focusing on skin cancer and melanoma, I had to get you naked physically to help you save your own life. So you knew skin cancer is the most prevalent cancer in the United States. Most people don't appreciate that because they're like, oh, skin cancer, you cut it out, forget about it. But it's, again, skin cancer is a harbinger of a deeper underlying problem. It's oxidative stress. It's inflammation your body. It's not just the skin cancer. That means if your skin is showing signs of significant damage, there's more damage going on beneath that surface, too.

Really.

Educating people what to look for so that they can then check their skin. I would say get naked on the date of your birthday every single month and check your birthday suit for any uninvited guests at your party, because the abcde of moles and melanoma are really important. That being said, as we transition to midlife, things are changing. Relationships are changing. If you have kids, they're leaving the home, Your career may be changing, or you have put your career aside and now you're like, what am I doing? Physical changes the skin, changes the hair, all of it. We have to be willing to get naked emotionally and mentally as well, so that we really can reveal, number one, what's getting in our way, and number two, what we really want so that we can pursue it or get support in a way that we need to. If they come to me just for the angry elevens, I'll entertain that for, you know, like. But we're really going to dive deep, and not every woman is ready to do that. So if you're not willing to get messy and have it, you know, really look at some of the hard stuff, that's okay, but I may not be for you. If you just want to spend your $250,000 over the course of your lifetime and still not feel good, then I am not for you.

It's like Pandora's box. And what I like about your approach is that you're meeting people partway. You're like, okay, your goal is this, and I'm going to help you with that. And let's do some work to find out what this is telling us. I think that's really a. A really nice, balanced approach. In psychology, we call that the leading edge. And I love the metaphor. Have you ever seen the Olympic sport curling, where they push the puck across the ice?

Oh. Huh. Yeah.

This is so. It's funny to me. I'm kind of laughing because I watched this curling video on YouTube and it was so funny, the clip that they pulled out, because you have these four women, and I don't know, one of them's doing, but one of them pushes the puck, and then she stands back and she screams like. Like, oh, my gosh, the puck is going. And so then she's back there, like, screaming. It's like a freeze frame on her pterodactyl scream. And then you have these other two people who are basically sweeping the ice in order to reduce the friction and create direction for the puck.

Right.

And so what I feel like the leading edge is exactly that. Where your job as a helper, a guide, a teacher, a healer, a mentor is you want to be right with the client who is the puck. You want to be right in front of them, and you want to be cheering them on, maybe with less scary vigor as that lady was, but you want to be cheering them on and scraping the ice and giving them the direction. But ultimately they are the puck. And sometimes the puck is going to go off over here and off over there. If it was a perfect science, it wouldn't be in the Olympics. But what I love about the way that you approach it is you do. You know, you do say, like, this is the way that I think we need to go if you want to work with me. So you are very clear and you are willing to be that Olympian guide to help them along that journey. Because like we were saying, opening Pandora's box of all that stuff that we've been suppressing and ignoring for so long can be really scary to unpack. And you help them through that process.

Yes. And it can be. I'm like, avoiding light.

The sun is coming up.

But we love that because in the Pacific Northwest, this doesn't happen all the time. So got to soak it up while we can. Yes, and it's so true. Listen, we all need support. And I think society, the message that we've been sent, especially as women and even in medicine, is that we're broken. Like, we need to be fixed. And here's the thing. We are not broken. We might have gone off our path. We may need a little extra support. Oh, my God. I'm blinding myself. What is happening here?

Move around.

And I feel like maybe because I felt like I was broken and I realized that I'm not. And now that I have a teeth. This is awful. All right, those watching this video, I apologize. I look crazy, but I have a. I have a teenage daughter now, and I am watching social media as she's on it, and I watch her mood plummet. And I watch her go from this carefree, beautiful young kid with so much potential. And she still does, but now she's worried about her body. She's worried she's self critical. And I'm like, oh, my God, we need to change this conversation. We need to change this conversation because. To change my lighting. But it is so pervasive. And so I kind of went off tangent a little bit, but I feel like it's just part of that same premise that we all have our, I guess our sticking point. And we need someone to help peel back the curtain a little bit and help us see ourselves for who we truly are. Sometimes because we lose sight of it and we look at social media and the. Oh, my God. This is. I'm like, so sorry. Never had this happen before.

The universe is like, babe, you need some lights.

You need some sun.

I know. Seriously, this is insane. I'm so, so sorry. I'll just ignore that. It's because it's early and I haven't. I just have to remember this is where I'm gonna bring up my mug. But you can't even see.

You are gold, baby. Solid fucking gold right now.

This is my reminder. Like, you, you.

This is.

This is a person's worst nightmare. That this, like, should raise my stress response. And I'm like, no, girl, you're gold.

You're gold.

This is fine. The light is shining on you.

Like, the angels are, like.

Making this brilliance. It's so good.

But I just. But this idea of that leading edge, I love that analogy. And I think, yeah, we all need the cheerleader. We all need someone to help us see things from a different angle and a different perspective. And as women collectively, we can help each other rise. And I. And it's unfortunate that in certain situations, women see each other as competition.

Yeah.

And we tear each other down. Like, we ourselves are most critical, but other women are so critical. Right. We project our own. But when we can start to, I guess, change that conversation and be able to see our skin differently, to be able to see ourselves from a different lens and appreciate that so much of how we feel is because of what we Think and are onto ourselves of how our mind works and understand that we have power, that we have control over what we choose to think. It makes a significant difference in how we feel in our skin. And then our skin will reflect that with radiating a glow like you've never seen. Who are the most beautiful women? They are the women who show up unapologetically like themselves. Big, small, tall, petite, it doesn't matter, right? Because it's not about your look, it's how you feel. And then that projects out.

That's beautiful. It's not about how you look, but how you feel and that projects out. So as we're coming to the end of our conversation, if you could do only one thing for your skin, what would it be?

Well, it's hard.

They can't do just one thing from.

A tactical standpoint because skin cancer is so prevalent. Sun protection. Sun protection. Sun protection.

90% visible signs of aging is UV exposure.

And we're sitting in front of our devices. So a tinted moisturizer with sunscreen with iron oxides. Because blue light, the research is mounting blue light can cause skin pigmentation and break down our last. And so with the tactical thing, but I think most importantly is to truly see your skin as your ally. See your skin as a window of opportunity to improve your overall health and well being. And your skin is working for you, not against you. So that is what I would leave with.

I think the big take home for.

Me is just to help women and men, anyone who's listening, but especially women.

Who are typically much more self critical.

Just look at your skin as your greatest ally.

That's a really good message. I'm thinking about a practical mantra and maybe you have something even better. And often mantras are great if we can come up with our own for ourselves. But what I'm going to, my commitment to everyone listening is I'm going to start speaking to my skin and I'm going to tell my skin, thank you for sharing. I honor you. Thank you for sharing. I honor you. And starting to create those synaptic pathways.

In our brain to having love for.

Our skin, being grateful for our skin, and then reminding us when our skin, when I have those dark circles or I get prepubescent acne, I'm almost 40. Changing the narrative in the relationship. And so having a mantra I think is a really great practical start. Is there anything else, anything else that I should have asked you that you wanted to make sure that we got to talk about or share?

Oh my gosh, there's so much. I think the biggest thing is it's a prescription that we were never taught to write as physicians. Right. Self compassion. You're not broken. But the biggest one, and I, and I already said it, but is that your, your body and your skin, they're working for you and not against you and just when, when you're having a really crappy day, when those dark circles are really dark that it's just, it's okay, right? Those messages like, just like you said, like I see you, I hear you, I thank you. I may need my concealer right now because I got stuff to do but I am prioritizing my taking care of me and understanding what this may represent. The under eye stuff because I've got dark circles too and some of it is genetic and other causes, not just. But when they are darkening, if they're worsening, it's an opportunity.

Opportunity everybody. We have been learning from the brilliant, the Lovely, the beautiful Dr. Kira Barr, M.D. and be sure to check out her website and her social media. Her Instagram is a great hub of information. She's active on there and she has a lot of wonderful goodies. A free guide, 7 Ways to Relieve Stress in Less Than 7 Minutes. She has another free guide, top tips for Glowing skin in Midlife. Oh, I like this one too. The makeup bag must haves she has for you. She also has complimentary consultation. So if you're like I need to learn from her directly. She does see some, some limited consultations, but she also has a great referral network. Be sure to check out her website which is in the link tree. So you'll just click in the bio and book, the skin Whisperer book. And then last but not least, she has a community that she's created so you are not alone. And if you are looking for a place to unite with other midlife ladies, she has a lounge and a place where you can do that on Facebook. So check out that link and be sure to check back for the post where we will be sharing all of the reference, all of the links. And I am so grateful for your time and for your wisdom and for really inspiring me in this conversation today. Well, thank you so much. It's been fun and thank you for.

Putting up with my crazy lighting.

You know, I have to say I did an interview last week with somebody and the workers decided that it would be a good day to jackhammer on the roof and it was so loud that things were falling down on my shelf. I'm so frazzled. Doctor.

So I like get up and I.

Try to go outside, then my wi.

Fi is dropping and then so I.

Come back inside but the roof is shaking and I was like, babes, I'm.

So sorry but what's your mug say again?

Like you're gold baby. You're solid fucking gold baby.

So I just had to own that goldness just like you did today. And honestly, it feels kind of validating that I'm not the only one that.

Has a couple's nephews here and there. So thanks for holding that space.

Yeah, anytime happens on a regular.

Same awesome, awesome everyone. Thank you for listening.

Check back more future wonderful episodes from the get your life back podcast. I'm Dr. Nicole Cain and we have been interviewing Dr. Kira Barr. Hey.

Thanks babe.

Thank you. It was fun.

The recording you just listened to to consists of the personal opinions of Dr. Nicole Caine, a naturopathic doctor with a Master's in Clinical Psychology. While these opinions are based upon literature, her counseling education, medical training, and clinical experience, this content should not be viewed as the definitive opinion on these subjects. Listening to this podcast is not a substitute for any sort of medical, psychological or other form of treatment. If you are in a crisis, please call 9 or call the National Suicide Prevention Line at 1-800-273-8255. If you're in need of counseling, don't hesitate to make an appointment with a counselor in your area. Dr. Nicole Cain is so passionate about people getting their life back. If this resonates with you and you think this podcast would help someone you love, please share it with them. Stay in the conversation with Dr. Nicole Kane about writing the next chapter chapter of your life so that it plays out just the way you want it. Explore your options for working with her at www. Dr. Nicolecane.com that's Dr. D R Nicole N I C O L E Caine C-A-I-N.com when you're there, be sure to take advantage of the Free Anxiety Freedom One week challenge. We look forward to seeing you on the next episode of the get yout Life Life Back podcast. Here's to your next chapter.

Shift.