76. Practical Strategies to Enjoy the Holidays - Part 1 (Food, Sleep and Exercise)

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Hi Everybody, this is Dr. Nicole and Hadley. We're the Holistic Inner Balance podcast.

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Why is there no sound coming out into logic? So welcome, welcome. I promise you that while we are not technologically savvy that we can be quite brilliant and in some insightful and charming in many other ways, I promise.

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We're so happy to be coming to you to talk about surviving the holidays. And so if you have holidays or if you have feelings or family or if you have great holidays, this is still gonna be an awesome conversation for you. I know that I definitely need it and so I'm sure that you guys are gonna get a lot out of it too. So let's jump in.

Let's do it. Yes. I've been so excited to talk about this because I used to not have great holiday experiences. Like I, I love my family, I love having the holidays and everything, but at the same time, a lot of times it was fraught with, you know, interpersonal conflict as well as my own just relationship with food and alcohol and my habits and how I thought about being healthy and being healthy around the holidays. So something that we were just talking about before we started recording or before we started trying to record for the last 20 minutes was how it, for me, at least it was always the what I saw people doing was either going just like losing all health related anything and just being like, whatever, I'm gonna eat whatever I want, I'm gonna do whatever I want. And then they didn't feel very good. They didn't, you know, feel the way that they wanted to feel. And that was kind of my experience. Or there was this other side where it was like, you know, I'm gonna restrict and I'm gonna like be on this diet during the holidays. And then they missed out on some of the things that they really would have in regards to the holidays because they were restricting or like following a program or something like that. And so those were the two sides of the spectrum that I saw. And I thought that those were kind of the only two options. And so I really. We wanted to talk today about how there's. Well, there's usually a third option, which we've talked about before. And so we're going to talk about that third option today and kind of finding. Finding an intentional holiday situation for you so that you don't miss out. You don't really strict, but you also feel really good throughout the rest of your holidays and everything.

And I really appreciate this conversation and for insight into my family milieu is that I am from a Midwestern family. And the mentality is comfort food at holidays is you eat your turkey, your ham, your beige food, generally speaking, like creamed corn and stuffing, like the very traditional Midwestern nosh, mashed potatoes. And of course, the mashed potatoes has margarine because. Oh, yeah, totally. Butter's bad.

Yeah. Quote, unquote.

Quote unquote. And the really especially challenging part of that is that my husband is gluten free. He's sensitive to gluten. And then I'm dairy free and I don't eat meat.

Yes.

So you have this, like, budding of the epic butting of the heads of these two worldviews. The staple of Thanksgiving is gluten, meat, and dairy. And then you have these people who are coming in and they're like, absolutely not. And so then it can create this deeper activation in people that food means so much more than flavors on a plate that now I'm turning my back on my husband's, turning his back on tradition and recipes that have been passed out for. From generation to generation. And so then you have this salad, if you will, of this person's transference and that person's meaning making and that person's favorite recipe. And now all these new ideas that are coming in. And so it can just create a lot of mayhem. And as you're saying, Hadley, you're describing this pendulum swing from rigidity to chaos, rigidity to chaos. That all or nothing. Yes. And so how do we deal with that? And so we have some really good hacks for you to actually enjoy your holiday. Yes.

Yes. So good. Yeah, I. And this kind of was birthed from a couple of blogs that we both have, which is like how we used to do the holidays and kind of how we do the holidays now. And so. So do we want to talk a little bit about that first? Kind of like what we used to. And then we can talk about strategies for. I love that going forward? Yeah.

Okay, let's do it.

So. So what What I used to do is I had a lot of. It was like, okay, it's the holidays. So there was a lot of meaning that I made around that. It was like, okay, the holidays are a time where all of my health habits go out the window, right? No more exercise, no more, you know, like, being conscientious about my food choices. All of that. All of that could wait until the new year, right? It was like, once Thanksgiving rolled around, the. Which there's more than a month left after Thanksgiving. That's like a long period of time. But I was always like, oh, it's the holidays now. Like, in the new year, then I'll change my life, right? Then I'm gonna overhaul everything. Then I'm gonna, like, finally have the health that I want to have. I'm finally going to be consistent with the habits that I want to have. I'm going to have a workout routine. I'm going to meditate. I'm going to do all the things. But right now, all of that stuff is just like, that's. That's a problem for future me to handle. And I'm not saying that you need to introduce a bunch of different things, like right now during the holidays, but we're going to talk about how to actually be intentional about the things that we do want to continue to implement or to implement during this time, and what we can, you know, let go of or whatever. Whatever it might be. And so we'll get into those. Those strategies next. But so what I used to do is. And, you know, if you resonate with this, like, we would love to hear, like, let us know on social media or, you know, you can review the. The podcast or whatever you want to do, but we would love to hear. And so what I used to do is, you know, the night before Thanksgiving was like, the biggest bar night of the year. Right. I would go out with all of the. All of my friends and see people from, like, childhood and high school and all of the things. Stay up really late drinking, obviously, and be really hungover the next day for Thanksgiving. Did you experience this? Yes.

I come from a very religious Dutch family.

Ah, okay. So not the partying.

None of that.

Okay.

Only Lutheran Missouri Synod partying, which is playing cards and watching the adults have a glass of wine.

I love it. Oh, my gosh. Amazing. All right, so we've got two different scenarios here. You might be just bored out of.

Your mind in one situation, playing for a lack of consciousness. Yes. Right. Yes, Please go to sleep, self.

Yeah. Right. And then you've got this other. You know, you might also be bored out of your mind in my situation as well, and trying to have fun. And so therefore drinking a lot of alcohol to try to have fun. And so. And then staying up late doing all the things, then the next day, waking up hungover. My family actually did do a Turkey Trot every year, which is, like, an awesome, really fun tradition. Though there was a mindset around it of, like, we're gonna earn the food that we're gonna eat later today, so that's not super great. We've talked about that in, in past podcast episodes of, like, our relationship with food. And, you know, you never have to earn the food that you're gonna eat. You never have to, like, exercise for it. And you can exercise in order to feel the way that you want to feel. And so Turkey Trot was awesome, an awesome tradition, but again, there was that, like, weirdness wrapped up in. In the. My relationship with food. And then also lots of, like, pastries and stuff in the morning after the Turkey Trot, which left me feeling, like, hangry the rest of the day, like, if I didn't. Because then, you know, everyone just, like, doesn't eat until. Until Thanksgiving dinner, right? And so then you're, like, hangry and you're grumpy and maybe you drink some more wine because you're trying to get through the day or whatever. And then you get more and more hangry and grumpy. At least that was my experience. And then it was like, okay, now this is the big piece of it. Now, how do I navigate the kinds of foods that I want to eat and have this, like, really this expectation of, like, I need to eat in a certain way, whereas my family has a totally different expectation of, like, you know, you're supposed to eat in this way. Like, these are the things that we're going to make. And so a big piece of that. For me, I didn't. I. For me, it was like giving up some of the expectations that I had around the types of foods to be eating and shifting my expectations while being able to keep some of the things as well. So I would be curious, Dr. Kane, as to what your experience with that has been as well in the past.

Few years with the expectations piece.

Yeah, the expectations and, like, navigating how you actually eat in a way that is in integrity with you and your needs while navigating your, like, relationships as well.

Our tradition was you drive in to Illinois from Iowa. I grew up in Iowa. And we would all pack into the car and Sometimes it would be really blizzardy and snowy and there'd be like hours and hours on the road praying that we don't go in the ditch. And then other years it's just gray, gray, gray, driving from Iowa to Illinois. And then we would get to the family's house and my grandmother would always host and there's like candy and dishes and so we would like eat like little chocolates. She had those, they look kind of like a Hershey's Kiss, but they were kind of pastel colored and they were mint flavored and they had the little white candy balls on the bottom to add like a little crunch. So she had like bowls of those all around the house. And then the football game is on. And so the men would go and oh, classic. Watch the football. And the women were in the kitch. And then the kids were just sort of like hovering around, hoping to not get yelled at by distressed women. And then the meals, the children always sat at the little card table at the end and we would always have to pass the food to the left and nobody could start eating till it was all passed. Or if you did start eating, then you were given a hard time about it because you taking a bite is slowing down the person to your left from getting the food passed. So lots of rules, lots of rigidity, lots of social expectations and ridicule around the whole process. And then of course, we say grace. And the head of the family, the male head of the family would say grace. And then we would eat and we would just talk about facts. And so the way that I would eat around that time is eating everything that was given to me. And you know, like, they prepared this food, you're expected to eat it. We have a family culture. It's a waste not type of eating pattern. So you finish food?

Yes, very Dutch. I'm also Dutch.

So you resonate.

Yes.

You eat the food that's on your plate and you have to finish your food before you can have dessert. And then there's pies and sometimes we'll have multiple pieces of pie. And so this is really different than how I want to live my life now. Like my current self and juxtaposition to that is I want to eat a balance of proteins and fats and greens and things like that. And I don't ever eat dishes of candy and I would never eat two pieces of pie at one sitting. And I've also, as I've gotten older, identified foods and how they make me feel as well as my partner. And so we limit dairy and we limit gluten, and I don't eat meat. And so there's been this battle throughout the years of having to justify and explain that to my family. My grandmother, for example, was like, why won't you just eat butter? What's the problem with butter? Butter is fine. And then she'd put milk in the mashed potatoes, but not put butter in. And she'd be like, well, you can have milk, but you can't have butter. And I'm like, no, Grandma, it still comes from the same animal. I can't have that. And it was like a personal attack. So there's this mindset that it's like a personal attack by not eating the quantity of food or the variety of food or the particular item of food. And so I like what you're saying about. Instead of reacting to what's put in front of me and reacting to tradition, as you're kind of talking about being intentional, and I'm adding maybe even being intentional ahead of time about, what do you want your nourishment to look like? What do you want to eat? What do you not want to eat? What are the quantities that you want to eat? And just starting to be a little bit mindful about that. So when the moment comes that you can make a choice from your whole and integrated self as opposed to the self that's trying to meet the expectations of those around you.

Right? Yes. Yeah. Something that I used to do was like, you know, get my plate of food that had every single thing on it and then get seconds of only the things that I actually wanted to have. And now I'm like, wait, I don't need to eat the thing. Like, I don't like cranberry sauce. Like, I don't need to eat the cranberry sauce. I don't like turkey, nor do I really eat it. I. I eat some meat, but I. I don't typically eat the. The turkey at Thanksgiving, and I never really liked it, even as a kid. And so I don't actually need to eat that. Like, oh, I'm just gonna. Right? It's like a mind. Like, just, like, mind blown. Oh, okay. I can just eat whatever it is that I actually want to eat. And, you guys, that includes stuffing for me. I love stuffing, and I love mashed potatoes with butter. Like, I love that stuff, and I eat it, and I love, like, green beans. Green beans is like, my. It's. Even as a kid, green beans is like, green beans and watermelon were my two favorite foods. Weird. I know that's so special. So green beans are, like, my favorite. And if I. If we don't have green beans, I'll just make it myself because it's so easy. Just. It's literally just green beans. And so that's something that I always want to have on my plate. And. And so eating the, like, actually just choosing the foods that you want to eat and that are going to make your feel. Your body feel good is something that you can do. And you can do it. You can do it quietly, you know, and even if you're like, okay, I need to put this thing on my plate, because everyone expects me to put it on my plate, you could just put a smaller amount and then just kind of like, pick around it. Or you could, you know, stand up for yourself in that situation and just be like, oh, no, my body doesn't really want that right now and kind of leave it at that. I have found that usually if you're like, oh, no, my body is, like, kind of is a no to that. People kind of look at you funny. Like, what does that even mean? But then they let it go pretty quickly because they just want to eat their own food. Right. I don't know if that's been your experience, but that's been my. My experience for sure.

Well, you're providing a reason, like, I'm not feeling good eating that right now.

Right.

And I think that's even taking it a little bit farther than if you're listening to this. Like, you don't really owe anybody an explanation.

Yeah, right.

You could just redirect the conversation and be like, wow, it looks like you're jamming on the mashed potatoes over there. Do you need some salt?

Yeah.

Right?

Yeah.

And so out of your caring for, sharing, and communicating your needs to the people who are around you is you're willing to give them an explanation. And if they honor that, then that's beautiful and brilliant and you just met a need for yourself that way by being in integrity and verbalizing that. And in my experience with my family, that doesn't work because it's like, oh, challenge accepted. We're going to logic you out of validating your needs. You're just being picky. Or Nicole's the pickiest eater or whatever the gaslighting would be. And so if you're listening to this and you have a family and they sincerely want to understand, like, why are you passing the cranberries, but you're eating the green beans and they sincerely want to know, then you can give them an explanation. And that can be brilliant. But for people who have families like I do, it's just best to. For us, we just talk about facts. Like, it's cold outside. Who's in the playoffs this year?

Cold or outside?

Yeah. So in terms of strategies to enjoy your holiday, so there's the dynamics around food and being intentional about what you're eating. And, Hadley, you said something that I want to emphasize that I really liked, which is focusing on eating the food that you really do like. And Weight Watchers actually has this hack where they talk about eating your favorite food first and then saving your least favorite thing to last, which is the opposite of what I do is I'll fill myself up eating the obligatory things that I think are good for me. And because I want that piece of pumpkin pie so badly, I'll overeat in order to get that pumpkin pie in. And so. And so what their philosophy is is that if you eat the thing you really want to eat first because you're going to eat it anyway.

Right.

And then in order to not overeat and end up in a food coma is just start with the things that you love and then work your way down. And then people are more apt to stop eating when they're full because they don't have this sense of deprivation, of missing out. And so if that's something that you struggle with is, number one, is put smaller portions on your plate. Blue plates. Plates tend to make us less hungry. I don't know about your family. My family has special holiday plates. But if you don't, blue plates tend to make people less apt to overeat for whatever reason in the research. And then smaller plates. And so having a salad plate or something like that might be a way, like a hack. And then eating your favorite thing first and then being intentional to know this is how my body feels when I eat this. So food. And then we're also gonna touch on drink, sleep, and habits in terms of just like, your activity level. And so you mentioned the hangover, drinking Turkey Trot life.

Yes.

And I feel like that's a way that a lot of us get through the holidays, is we just imbibe ourselves into tolerances. We just like, oh, I can't handle her saying this one more freaking time. But if I have that eggnog with an extra shot of rum than I could. Right.

Yes. Wine.

Yeah. You have to pair it with the turkey.

Yes. Right.

You have to do the pairings, and then you have to pair it with the mashed potatoes. So everything you have on Your plate has its own glass of wine that you're pairing it with.

Yeah, right. Yeah, totally. I think this is huge. We've done a podcast episode about alcohol, but this, like, specifically around the holidays, it's a little tricky, right? Because sometimes we are drinking in, like, celebration. Other times we're drinking in order to get through the holidays. Sometimes we are drinking just because that's what you do. And, like, we wouldn't even think twice about it, right? There's, like, a number of different reasons why we might drink alcohol. And so I just feel like it would be helpful to just get curious about why. About your why. And again, we are not saying, like, don't drink alcohol during the holidays, but just get curious about why it is that you want to drink or, you know, how much you want to drink, whether you want to even drink. And for me, like, that, like, just, like, being inquisitory, like, just just being curious about that shifted a ton of things for me. Curiosity around food, around alcohol, and around, like, all of my other health habits has been huge for me. Instead of being like, I should do this or I should do that, like, here's what I'm supposed to do because I'm on a plan, or here's what, you know, like, someone on the Internet said that I, like, I'm supposed to do. Coming to all of these decisions from a lens of curiosity has been hugely impactful and, like, been very empowering for me to decide what I actually want to do with my life. So do I want to drink my way through the holidays and, you know, kind of numb out the different things? For me, like, drinking through the holidays made me more irritable. And so it was a no go for me. It was like, oh, if I don't drink as much, I actually don't get in as many arguments with people. I'm not as snappy. I don't have as, like, rigid of expectations for myself or other people when I'm not drinking as much. And so it was like, okay, I actually don't need to drink. Well, for me, I actually don't drink at all anymore. But when I was transitioning to not drinking, it was kind of like, well, I'll just drink, like, two glasses of wine and I'll just call it good. And so that was really, really helpful for me. But for you guys, like, just think about what it actually is that you want. And then we can also talk about mocktails too, which is kind of fun as well. But I'd love to hear your story about it. As well, too.

What I think about drinking is there's this almost like rite of passage that happened. And so, you know, you're sitting at the fold up table, you're on a fold up chair, you're at the end of the table, you're not included in the conversation. And then suddenly you become of the appropriate age of drinking. And it was like, now you're part of the club.

Yes.

Now you're an adult that we can joke with and include and laugh with. And I think that there's also this level of camaraderie that can happen with drinking where I feel better about having a drink if somebody else is having a drink with me.

Yeah. So that's where the judgment comes in. If you're not drinking is like, people are like, wait, why are you not drinking? Because they think you're judging them. Yeah, yeah.

So it's a way of aligning. It's a way of joining in on something with somebody and making that conscious choice can be very alienating. So I'm already alienating myself because I don't want to eat the turkey that my grandmother is using a recipe from that's been passed down for generations, right?

Yes.

So I'm rejecting the family turkey. I'm rejecting the family butter. My husband's rejecting the family. What's it called? Dressing.

Oh, yeah.

And so the least we can do is have some alcohol with the family. Right. So that's like the mindset going into it. But I find that I'm more apt to get sick whether it's like bronchitis or a cold or have a sense like congestion and everybody's sick.

Same all through the holidays for literally like two months straight misery.

So I find that if I'm drinking, I'm more likely to get sick. It definitely screws around with my sleep. Like, my sleep is terrible if I'm drinking. And it's also incredibly counterproductive for my exercise. Like, I want to feel really good when I exercise. And there's a definite correlation between having some alcohol and overeating and then feeling gross. And like, I'm not feeling good in my body and my clothes aren't feeling good. And so just overall I feel worse. And so how do you find that balance? How do you strike that balance between aligning with somebody, connecting with your family, but also having these protective limits of I just don't feel good. And I'm so sorry that, that, that isn't working for me to align with what you're doing. And so how do we bridge that that alienation, how do we bridge that gap?

Yeah. And I want to also point out that like, for me at least, it actually does it, it creates like, like alcohol created a sense of connection in some way, but it actually made me less connected with people because I wasn't actually, you know, in integrity with my values, with, you know, I wasn't able to ask as like, in depth of questions or like be, you know, myself as much. Like I was numbing myself who I was, that was my relationship with alcohol at least. And it was like, oh, I. I'm not able to go in as deep of connection with people when I'm drinking. And, you know, so now it's a lot easier for me to actually make more authentic connections with people. And so that's something to also consider as well, is like, is it a surface level connection or do you want to go deeper? And sometimes having a surface level connection is helpful. Right. Like if you are with people who you don't feel like you can be your, you know, authentic self without it being really, really draining because they're going to judge you for it, then like leaving it at that surface level, like that might be the choice for you. And if you want to have a deeper connection with people, you might consider drinking less as well. Yeah.

So hacks, how do you handle that? So Hadley and I, before we started recording, we were coming up with hacks, some strategies for that. And we're also trying to consider your Ayurvedic dosha around the same time that the holidays usually kick in. And so generally the weather is more cool. And so we want something that's a little bit warming. And so it's why it's so fun to have like a hot toddy, which tends to have whiskey in it, or to have like hot apple cider and adding a little bit of rum to it or whatever it is. So we talked about some herbs that we can start to get a little bit creative with and so you can make your own fun herbal mocktail. So some people drink to feel less anxious. So let's find some herbs that will make you less anxious but also nourish your nervous system. So I'm thinking about like, go online and get hawthorn solid extract. It's sweet, it's so good for your heart. It's anti inflammatory, it's antidepressant, and it's anti anxiety. And you can mix it in things to make it super therapeutic. So you can put it in bubble water, which would be better if your ayurvedic dosha is more pitta. So if you want something that's gonna be cooling, so like iced bubble water with a little bit of hawthorn instead of grenadine might be really good in there. But if you're anything like me and you're just generally cold. Cold, Cold, yes.

Vata and. Or kapha. Yeah.

The minute that the temperature goes below 70, I'm like, freezing. So hot beverages. So you can mix these glycerites and hot beverages, like hot apple cider would be great with a little bit of that. Or hawthorn. Or you can even add lemon balm to any of these beverages. You could do it as a tea. So a really good hack for that is to find the bulk herbs or to find the glycerite. G L Y C E R I T E so it's a glycerite, which means there's no alcohol in it at all. If you're trying to stay away from the alcohol. Just generally speaking, is go online and find glycerides or get teas. If you're starting with a tea, then just get like three cups, boil it, Put like four tea bags in there, steep really simmery, steep for, like, 20 minutes. Now you have this really strong hack. And then you can just put a little bit into hot apple cider. You can make your own hot toddy. And Hadley, you were talking about ginger hot toddy. So you get some of that, like, warm kind of pungentness to it.

Yeah, yeah. Well. And, you know, you can add some of these herbs and stuff. You could literally just do like, a ginger tea with honey or maple syrup and add the herbs or the glycerite, like, just right straight into that, and then it's so, so good. Yeah.

There's this apothecary company that's starting to do that. Because this has been on my brain for years, I'm like, why don't we make herbal elixirs? Like, why does it have to all be etoh? Why does it all have to be alcohol when there are so many plants out there that have incredible therapeutic value that we could be adding to just bases. Lattes, decaf, caffeinated chai, hot chocolate. Like we said, there's all these awesome bases and you could be hacking them with herbs.

Yeah, totally. The other thing we were talking about was, like, hot apple cider. You can, instead of doing, like, mulled wine, which a lot of people do during the holidays, Thanksgiving or Christmas or whatever other holidays, like we celebrate during November and December, you could just do that with apple cider. And it's like, you know, you've got the, you've got all of the spices that are actually really good for you this time of year, especially like cinnamon and allspice and ginger and cloves, whatever it might be. And the other thing is sometimes that's a little bit too small sweet for me. The app, the hot apple cider, so you can just dilute it with some hot water and you could even add your, add whatever tinctures you want to that. But that's like a really great winter beverage that I love, love, love to do all the time. And the other thing is that I love to do that has been really helpful is I actually. So I've been, I haven't had like a drink in four years actually. And so I've been doing this for, for quite some time. At first it was a lot of people were like, what the heck? Now it's people don't care at all whenever I, I tell them or whenever like they, if they've known it for a while. But something that I have loved to do is to bring stuff with me to holiday functions, family events and stuff and then, and like make something really delicious and that has like all this fun stuff in it and everyone else loves it. They, it tastes awesome and they're like, they get really excited about the fun drinks and then, you know, they're inspired as well. And obviously it's going to be different for different, different people and different families and stuff. So you have to kind of navigate that for yourself. But you might be surprised too, like how people might start to at least become open to it. And like maybe not everyone is, but maybe like that one cousin is like, o, oh, that's fun that you're doing something different from normal and then you can kind of bond with them over that. Or maybe it's like an in law that you didn't really talk to before. That's like your brother's wife or whatever. And now you have this thing in common that you kind of like are in on together. So that might be kind of a fun thing as well.

It's a strategy to bridge that gap, that divide. So it's not that you're just omitting yourself from things that are a part of the milieu, but it's like reciprocal. Like, let me share this awesome thing that I've created that I love. I'm excited to share it with you and it's gonna be super tasty. And then it's not from a perspective of sacrifice and deprivation, but rather like, yes, to this and no to that.

Right? Yeah, yeah. It becomes more of a like, yes. And it's like, yes, I'm going to say yes to this and I am going to pass on, like, the other things. But I do want to create, like, a lot of times, like, the people are fearful when you don't eat the thing that they want you to eat or whatever, because they feel like you are saying no to them, like you're saying no to a connection with the other person. And so it's like, how can we say no to something that is not going to make us feel good or that is going to block, like, it literally might block our connection with them, but they don't realize that. How can we make it a yes? And of. I'm going to say no to this thing, but it's not that I'm saying no to you. How can I, like, draw you in a little bit of, like, I actually don't drink because I like to have deeper connections with people or, like, because I want to have deeper connection with you specifically. Right. And so that can be. That can open up a whole new conversation as well.

And finding herbs that help people be more of an extrovert can be super cool because I think that's what we all want in some way, shape or form is like, that connection. And so we're turning to alcohol because it can make us feel as socially anxious and it's something we're bonding over or it's there. Yes. And so you're limiting it or completely omitting it, and it helps you connect more deeply. And so if you're listening to this and you're like, gosh, I would love to not drink, but then I would be, like, stone silent and be super anxious. And so let's find some extrovert herbs. Let's find some solutions for that. And so herbs that can help with gregariousness would be, like, for women, like, I'm thinking Shatavari, she's like a mood booster. She's a euphoric, meaning. It can create this, like, sense of, like, bliss and euphoria. And so maybe you could try some Shatavari before you go and see how that works for you. And you could do your own elixir. This, like, virgin elixir you can try it with. I'm thinking of. For men, maybe a little bit of maca could be great. Maca can be very energizing. It can make a sense, very excited. Actually, that's a great herb for both genders. Like, men and women like Rock Maca. But I'm thinking of herbs that tend to be like, a little bit more breaking down those, like, social barriers that make it like us versus them. And so that's something that you can learn a lot more about in my holistic wellness collective. But also we teach about ayurvedic balancing herbs. And the more that you're in a state of balance, the more you're going to be in your true sincere. So knowing how to identify signs like, oh, I'm a little vata right now. I'm feeling a little anxious, I'm feeling a little flighty. I'm not very grounded. How do you restore balance to that? Because the holidays tend to fall during vata season, so, like, we're here to support you with all of that. But just doing experiments ahead of time and, like, figuring out what works for you can help you be intentional when you go and you put yourself in the situation where it's like holiday parties or gatherings or family events.

Yes. So good. Okay, so let's go to the next one, which is sleep.

Oo, sleep.

So sleep. Oh, man. So part of my story was like, not getting. Not getting enough sleep. And like, this is so many people, right? And so that was like, in my normal life, but also during the holidays, and it impacted, you know, everything. It was like, okay, because I wanted. I craved that connection. I wanted to have that connection with family. And, you know, it was clear that they wanted to have connection with me as well. We would stay up really late and, you know, trying to. Trying to connect and connecting. Not just trying, but, like, actually connecting. And so that was always hard for me because it was like, well, I don't want to go to bed and then miss out. I also had like, some fomo, right? It was like, oh, man, I don't want to miss out on, like, whatever conversations are happening. And now my family knows that I am like a grandmother and I go to bed early. But I have really great connections during the day and during the time that I am awake. And so I feel better about that now. But sleep is so huge. And I'm not saying that you need to go to bed at like, 9pm during the holidays, but if you tend to stay up, like, you know, I was staying up till one or two in the morning at least on like, those nights, like the night before Thanksgiving, like during the bar night or whatever during college. That was. So it was like shifting from that to like, okay, maybe I go to bed at like, midnight instead of one or two in the morning. And that made a huge difference. And then I kind of shifted it back the next year, like, further and further. And so it doesn't have to be like a huge. Again, this is not about, like, creating a regimented holiday. It's like, what actually does well for me. And so. And then waking up in the morning and like, feeling refreshed instead of feeling super tired. Maybe drinking coffee to wake you up, and then alcohol to have fun, and then food to kind of numb whatever feelings that might come up when you're with your family. And all of these things that we're just literally using substances to escape from our current reality. So what is. What's going to make the difference for you to actually have the holiday that you. That you want to have? And sleep might be a really important part of that.

JAMA agrees with you.

Yes.

The journal. So there's this article that was published by Sheldon Cohen, Ph.D. in JAMA, and he was talking about sleep habits and the impact that it has on your body. In particular, this author was talking about the common cold and susceptibility and was saying that people who had less than seven hours of sleep were almost three times more likely to develop a cold than those with eight hours or more of sleep. And so we know that poor sleep efficiency, shorter sleep duration, will increase your likelihood of getting sick. And, you know, obviously, if you're exhausted and then having to caffeinate now you have this, like, wired and tired feeling. And then we can get more anxious or more agitated and we're trying to, like, wake ourselves up with coffee.

Ah, yes.

But it can create this, like, vicious snowball.

So was my life. Yes.

Like, raising your hand like that is me.

Yes.

This is probably still me. The holidays. Really?

Really? Yeah. It creates so much, like the adrenaline from coffee can create so much anxiety. It's like, ugh. And then I always wanted to eat more to quell that anxiety. That was like, my thing was like, oh, I'm feeling really buzzy. I gotta eat food to just, like, bring that down.

Right? Yeah.

So, yeah, not fun.

It's like uppers and downers.

Yeah.

Like all the. All the food to down me and then all the coffee to wake me back up so I can eat more later.

Yes.

So if you can try to get eight hours minimum of sleep, and ideally you would stay close to schedule. Cause your body is very rhythmic. And so we have our circadian rhythm, we have our hormones. Everything is very rhythmic. And your serotonin is very rhythmic. Your melatonin, your dopamine, like your Body loves rhythm, it loves habit, it loves pattern. And so if you're in the holidays and you tend to struggle with the holidays, whether it's a time of missing somebody that you love and that they're lost, or if there's a lot of family drama or if you're really lonely during the holidays is one of the best tools that you can use to protect yourself is trying to stay within a rhythm. And so continue exercising, continue sleeping, try to stay as close as you can to a regular sleep cycle. You know, maybe staying up an hour later here and there just to spend like extra time with people to be intentional, that's fine. But do the best you can to stay within that rhythm. Like your normal body rhythms. Yeah, so sleep.

Yes. Yeah, the normal body rhythms is so huge. Like keeping your habits as much as you possibly can and being intentional about like. Okay, yeah, like, I do know that I get this like really, really deep connection time when I stay up later with my family, like an hour later or something like that. Maybe not like four hours later than what you normally do, but like an hour later. That might be your, what's the word? Like, that's like the thing that you decide that is like, okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna let that slide like during the holidays, but I'm gonna, you know, cut back on alcohol or I'm gonna do something else that helps me to be the person that I want to be during the holidays, that helps me to have the kind of holiday experience that I want to have again. It's being very intentional and coming in. So if you're listening to this and you're like, okay, sleep, alcohol, relationship with food, those things, you know, what of those things do I want to be conscious of as I come into the holidays? And maybe you journal about it, maybe you like write down your intentions for the holidays that can be so, so hugely impactful. Or maybe you talk to a partner, like your partner about it. If you are going to the holidays together, you know, maybe you're going to see, see their family or you're going to see your own family and you're like, okay, what's the game plan? What am I gonna do? What do you want to do? How do we want to make this so that it's like an actually an experience that we want to have and if this happens, then what do we do? And, and just come to it from a place of like light heartedness rather than like, it has to be this certain way because that's when we get in trouble. That's when we get like the expectations and the rigidity and then nothing goes the way that we plan. And then it's like, oh, this is awful. So just lightheartedness, playfulness, curiosity is kind of the name of the game here.

And we're going to do a whole other episode about the psychology of the holidays. You know, we've talked about, we've tried to be really practical in this conversation because you can do all of the mental, emotional work and a lot of that traffic, trauma healing, but if you're drinking a ton and eating all the sugar and not getting enough sleep, then we're missing that mind, body, spirit. We're missing that one pillar of importance. And so we're, we're aiming to be really intentional with that component here. And as Hadley is saying is we also want to make sure that we're acknowledging the emotional part, the expectations, like the family drama that can come up, like loss and grief. And we're going to be definitely having that conversation. And so check out our next podcast on that topic. If you feel like that would be valuable for you. We've got your back. And in that, I'm going to share a couple of stories about how I've worked to overcome some really difficult family dynamics. And so in terms of this topic, is there anything that you do that helps you. What are your favorite hacks that help you get through the holidays? Are there any practice, practical words of advice that you would like to share with us? Because we would love to hear it. Leave us a comment, send us a dm, send us a message we want and welcome them all.

Yes, we would love to hear from you. And if you are listening to this podcast, you can A great way to share with us like your favorite holiday hacks might be to take a screenshot that you're listening to it and post it on Instagram. We both hang out on Instagram a ton. It's really fun. And tag us and then we can kind of keep this conversation going. So it's not just a one sided conversation because we love to connect with you.

Thank you so much for listening And Hadley, thanks for your practical advice.

Yes, absolutely. Thank you. I'm really excited to get into the next one about family dynamics and psychology. Let's do it.

All right, see y' all soon.

Bye.

The recording you just listened to consists of the personal opinions of Dr. Nicole Cain, a naturopathic doctor with a master's in clinical psychology and happy healthy Hadley, an Ayurveda expert with a master's in health behavior and health education. While these opinions are based upon literature, counseling education, medical training, and clinical experience, this content should not be viewed as the definitive opinion on these subjects. Listening to this podcast is not a substitute for any sort of medical, psychological, or other form of treatment. If you are in a Crisis, please call 911-OR call the National Suicide Prevention Line at 1-800-273. If you are in need of counseling, don't hesitate to make an appointment with a counselor in your area. Dr. Nicole and Hadley are passionate about you becoming the expert of your own emotional and physical well being. If this resonates with you and you think this podcast would help someone you love, please share it with them. We look forward to seeing you on the next episode of the Holistic Inner Balance Podcast.

Sam.