Dr. Tracy Dalgleish teaches a relational skill: pause before responding instead of reacting from your amygdala. Ask yourself about your intention, timing, and how your words will land. Name what you need first, and sometimes wait to respond with intention rather than in the moment.
Here's one of the most powerful relational skills and I want to emphasize this. It is a skill because it's hard, because you are having to overwrite what your amygdala does in that moment, which is more of the knee jerk reaction. It's more about safety. It's more something's happening for you inside. So you have to practice pausing before you speak, especially when you feel that urge to correct or to comment and ask yourself these questions. What's my intention here? How might this land for him? Is this something I need to say or. Or can I let this go? And sometimes it's also about is it something I need to say in this moment or can I make a note and come back to it later? And then asking yourself, how can I say it in a way that allows me to consider how he experiences me in the world? And then also, how can I name the process and the need first before sharing the thing? This is all about slowing it down so that you can practice responding with intention rather than that knee jerk reaction.
