Dr. Tracy Dalgleish (speaker) addresses a common belief that apologizing makes someone the 'bad guy' in a relationship. Using a therapy-room anecdote, she reframes repair—apologizing—as a choice to value connection over ego, not an admission of being wrong or weak.
Do you think being the one to apologize makes you the bad guy in your relationship? If you answered yes, I need to challenge that because it's actually keeping you stuck. I was working with a couple and he said something I'll never forget. He looked at his partner in my therapy room and said, I repaired with you quickly. All I did was say I'm sorry. I spoke to you in a short tone. Here's what so many people don't understand. Repair doesn't make you weak. It doesn't mean your partner is right and you're wrong. It actually means you value connection over your ego.
