Embrace Your Fears With Dr. Weili Gray

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Hi, docs. Welcome to the Entre MD podcast, where it's all about helping amazing physicians just like you, embrace entrepreneurship so you can have the freedom to live life and practice medicine on your terms. I'm your host, Dr. Umna. Well, hello. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of the On Tremd podcast. And today it is my pleasure to introduce you to an amazing doctor, Dr. Whaley Gray. And she is a student at the ONTRAMD business school, and she is a rock star star. She has accepted to come on the podcast and we're going to kind of go behind the scenes, look at her business, and she's going to share what's been going on. And what it will do is it will propel you to go like, you know what? I'm ready to take all the action. I need to take all the things I've been scared of. I'm done being scared of them. I'm going to go do them. You're going to get so inspired and you're going to leave with practical action tips. This is going to rock your boat. So you get ready, lean in. This is gonna be mind blowing. So, Dr. Whaley Gray, welcome to the show.

Thank you. Dr. Una, thank you so much for inviting me. I'm so excited.

Yeah, absolutely. You're a rock star. You need to be on here. So introduce yourself to the listeners so they know all about the amazing Dr. Whaley Gray. Yeah.

So I am Weyli Gray. I am a hospital employed physician. I practice sleep medicine in a wonderful rural community in the Northeast. I am also the founder of Dare to Dream Physician, and I have a podcast and I offer one on one life planning. My mission is to help physicians who feel overwhelmed and unfulfilled. Dare to Dream and create their most abundant lives so they can start living each day with intention and passion.

I want to live each day with intention and passion. I like it now. So tell me how you came to this point, right? Because you work a job, you love what you do, right? And then now there's Dare to Dream. So how did this happen? Ooh.

So this started about four and a half months ago. I was actually just about to turn 40. So in retrospect, I think of this as, like, my awakening. One day I. Well, I mean, several things were happening at work, and one day I started feeling distressed about being an employed physician. And as we all know, there's a national narrative that physicians are no longer valued, no longer respected, no longer have autonomy in practicing medicine. And so I was starting to feel some of that in my own life. And that awakening led me to think about deeper questions. I thought, well, why did I apply to medical school? Who was I when I applied for medical school? I thought, well, I was science nerd. I love deeply connecting with people. Of course I want to help people. But I think back and I had this assumption that by becoming a doctor, that I would change the world for the better. And so somewhere along the way, in this decade plus long journey, I went from a person who was full of drive and passion when I applied to medical school to just really just trying to survive, right? Trying to pass exams, trying to finish residency, pay off my student loans. And I think I started to realize that my employed physician position wasn't the problem. The problem was that I needed to pursue more.

Right?

I mean, when we get our contracts as a physician, we're handed an ID badge, we're handed a login to the emr, we're given RVU targets. And so there's nowhere on there that says, hey, go out and save the world. And then so I realized that, well, that was my problem. That was why I was unhappy. I don't want to say unhappy. That was why I was having a moment of distress because I just wasn't pursuing what I assumed I would. So that was four and a half months ago. And it led me to think about, well, what are the things I'm passionate about? What are the Things that I already know outside of medicine and within medicine. And then two months, let's see, it was probably two months in was when I discovered the Entre MD podcast. And I remember the day when I was given the link for the podcast and I binged listen to many, many episodes. And I started. I think I started from the beginning. So I sort of did backwards. I started from beginning, what is an Entre md? What's an intrapreneur? And I just after, I think about a day, about 24 hours, and then a few days later, I signed up for the Entre MD Business school.

So I'm going to stop you here because there's something I know about you, and you are a decision maker, right? And I don't know if you. You know that about yourself, right? You're like, oh, I'm going to listen to this and then I'm going to binge on it. And okay, there's been 24 hours I've listened to this number of episodes. I'm going to join the business school. Have you always been like that or is that something? Because it's so. It's so good, you know, even when we do challenges, you know, like, oh, yeah. So in preparation for this challenge, I've already done abc. I'm like, wait a minute, What? You know.

It'S really funny that you say that. You know, I think there's always been a part of me that is a decision maker, but the other part of my identity that I have is that I'm a big procrastinator.

Well, you're not doing a good job of showing that off at all. I'm just saying.

And I think part of that is really having my fire lit when I realized, wait, wait, these are my paths, passions, and why am I not going after this? And then, of course, there's the coaching that I get from Entre md, from the podcast, and then now, you know, as part of the business. Business school. And so I think. I think that I'm learning and, you know, and it's, you know, one. One step after another. And I think by making the decisions and then acting on them, it takes that anxiety away. Because the more I sit on it and think about it, that that's part of the procrastination. The more almost the more hopeless it feels.

I love it. Okay, so you had this awakening. You're like, this is what I'm going to do. And then you started binging on the podcast and you're like, okay, let's go to the business school. Now, walk me through some of your thought processes. Right. What made you go from this podcast is amazing. I'm going to listen to every episode, but I. I'm going to get myself into business school. What made you make that decision?

Ooh, that's a good question. Because I in general love podcasts, so I certainly have listened to a lot of podcasts. I think one was that there was a call to action. You know, I listened to your podcast and I'm going, yeah, yeah, you know, I agree with everything she's saying. Ooh, this one, this is challenging, and I gotta, you know, chew on that. And then you have this call to action to say, hey, we're opening enrollment for the business school, and so you can go sign up. So I thought, well, why not? You know, I have to do this. So I think it was actually what you teach us is give the audience a call to action. And so I did, you know, I listened to your directions and I went and signed up.

Oh, wow. So that means everything you do, right? There has to be some kind of call to action there, right? Because you know firsthand now.

Yes.

Okay, so now. So you embrace this. You're like, okay, I'm going to do this. You came into the business school, so what are some. Walk me through some of the new things you started doing, because this is beautiful, because you. You had this moment only four months ago. Right. And one of the things that scares people the most is, you know, one, I don't know where to start from. And then after that is all these new things. And like, I'm a doctor. I don't do things like this. I haven't done this before. I don't have experience with this. So what are some of the things that you hadn't done before that you now have to start doing?

Well, I think the first one is just starting because, like I was saying, you know, I think of myself as the procrastinator. So there are a lot of things that I think of doing that I just never started. And it's just been sitting there. The idea has just been sitting there. So I think part of it is with the coaching that I hear, you know, the Entre MD podcast, the business school, because you give us assignments and it's just to start. And what I love was you had this episode about, I think it was your 10th episode of podcasting, and you said you decided to have a podcast and you gave a timeline, and it was less than a week later. You had three episodes. Launch and publish for the world to hear When I heard that, my mind was blown. I thought, wait a minute, how does that happen? How can you make it happen so quickly? But I think you use that example as well. If you believe in the value and if you're passionate about it, then why not have it launched in a week? So hearing examples like that, hearing timelines like that, it just makes me say, well, you know what? If I have an idea, then I just start now, and I don't have to worry that it's not perfect. Because that's also what you teach us, which is progress over perfection. Because as physicians, I want everything to be perfect, of course, and that turns out, and that's good for some things. But when it comes to entrepreneurship, action is more important than perfection. So I have to let go of my perfectionist tendencies. I have to let go of that fear, making myself look like a fool, and just start.

I love it. So you've had all kinds of interesting challenges since you started doing videos, maybe more than you've ever done before, and embracing all these new things. And you launched a podcast in the whole nine yards. So did you have any drama around that? Or you're just like, yeah, yeah, I got this.

Or of course, of course there's a lot of drama. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's the procrastinator kicking in. Well, I don't really have to do this. I mean, well, one example was, you know, you had us do the YouTube, the speak to Grow challenge in the business school. And I did my intro YouTube video and, you know, I uploaded onto YouTube, YouTube. And there were, I think there were three options. One was keep this private, keep this unlisted, or, you know, make it public. And you told us to create a YouTube channel, which I did. And then I put this video and then I clicked keep unlisted. Because I thought, why could just give everyone the link and said that I did it, but it's not published, so the world can't find it. And so I did that, but then it didn't show up in my channel. So I thought, okay, well, okay, I got, you know, I have to hit, you know, just make it public. And it was. And I, you know, googled the other dream physician. And yeah, it shows up. And I thought, oh, that's scary.

Not, that's good, that's scary.

Exactly. Dr. Una says that's good. You're supposed to do this and, you know, you don't want to be a best kept secret. But of course, my instinct is to run away from being in the spotlight.

Like all Good physicians, but we're changing that. We're changing that. So then you went from this person who's like, oh, my gosh, I need to make this unlisted, to a person who's like, I'm gonna launch a podcast.

How?

What's going on?

Yeah. Well, I think that you had another recent episode about podcasts, and in there, you said, there's several kinds of people. And then you said something like, well, and if you feel called to do a podcast, you know who you are. And I thought, oh, no, she's speaking to me. So after that episode, I said, I have to launch a podcast because Dr. Una is right. I have this voice that I've been suppressing, and I have to do it. And so that's the fear. The other thing you teach us very early on, the business school, is that my comfort zone is my danger zone.

Yes, yes.

So basically, if I am not feeling fear, then I'm in my comfort zone. And so then I need to look around and see, wait a minute, I'm not growing enough. So that's the mental drama around the podcast is, oh, I'm so scared that I'm going to triple my words and do this and that. But what Dr. Una teaches us is you just, you know, you go do it, and the more you do it, the better you become at it. So I can't wait till the day where it comes more naturally. But that's, you know, but right now, there is a lot of fear, and I'm just embracing that fear.

Yep. You know, I often tell the story of how, you know, I kept working on getting rid of my fears, and. And it's like, you know, it's still there. I'm like, you know what? We're two separate people, entities. Right? So I'm me, and you're the fear, and you don't want to go away, Fine, then come watch me succeed then, you know, since you won't go anywhere. Because I had to normalize the fact that I feel fear. The only way to not feel fear is not to take on something bigger. It doesn't mean, you know, I'm terrified and I'm, you know, I'm shaking in my skin or anything like that. But there's this. I've never done it before. What if it doesn't work, all of that stuff, and you don't make that stuff go away. You know what I mean? Like, if you're at home watching Netflix, then you won't have that fear. But if you're going to. If you're going to do stuff, then, you know, it's going to show up. So, all right, so here you are, YouTube. You know, I'm gonna launch the business YouTube channel, started a podcast. And then I heard because you, you posted about it, about this whole program. And I didn't know anything about this till you po. I'm like, what? Okay, so, so tell the audience this story, right? How.

How you went from this person.

It's like, I'm gonna launch this to. You have a program in an institution. Talk to us about that.

So that actually is more of my intrapreneur hat, because that's also you. Actually, as at my hospital, I'm the chair of the retention and recruitment committee, and I was asked to look for a physician wellness program for the hospital. And so at first I, you know, I thought, well, I don't really want to do this. It's a lot of. It sounds like a lot of work. And I don't know if it'll work, you know, all the negative talk.

And.

But then I thought about it with, this is actually in line with my mission to help physicians. And so I embraced it and I start, you know, so there's many steps. You know, one is to convince the administration of its value. And then once the administration has buy in, well, then you also have to convince physicians. And so that was where I also learned from the business school. So first I saw an opportunity to give a talk because that's not something I normally would want to do. So I gave the grand rounds at my institution and the topic was the case for physician wellness program. And, you know, so I did my, you know, I mean, as doctors, we've done grand rounds presentations before. And so I did my presentation, you know, articles, this and that. And the midnight before that, I was about to give the presentation. I thought, you know, Dr. Una, in your rock the stage course, you know, you teach us that, you know, you have to put a call to action in your talk. And it never occurred to me that, well, I could do that in my grand rounds. So at midnight I said, okay, I'm going to. So I added a call to action in my grand rounds talk. And what it was was just a call to action to complete a survey asking, having the physician say, well, do you support this physician wellness program after hearing the presentation and will you participate? Will you sign up for this? And so I added that I had them make copies the next day. And so at the end of my presentation, I passed this out. And actually, even after the presentation, I emailed to all the med. Half on the list. And I solicited their responses. And so this was what blew my mind. So I was hoping to just have five physicians say, okay, I'll participate, you know, because that would have been enough to have the first cohort. And so, you know, keep in mind, my hospital is very small, and I don't. I mean, we probably have 30 physicians or probably less. So not a lot of physicians to begin with. And there were 19 physicians who ended up responding. All 19 of them said they supported having a program, and 12 of them said that they would sign up to participate in a program. And this program, I mean, part of what I was trying to introduce is coaching, which most physicians don't know about, Physician coaching. So, you know, so it was a big thing. I mean, it was this big fear of mine because I thought people were going to make fun of me and say, well, what is that? You know, what is coaching? What are you talking about? And so I was astounded because I was hoping for five people to say, okay, she's not crazy. I'm on board. And instead, you know, I had 19 supporting, everybody who responded supported, and 12 of them actually wanted to sign up.

Okay, so hang on. Because the number was smaller the last time I spoke to you. So I'm going. I'm totally, like, mind blown here. Okay, now your administration is paying for this program? Is that what's happening?

They're supporting the program? Yeah. It's still a work in progress, but it is. They. So we got buy in from the administration.

Okay.

Value.

Okay. All right, people. So for everybody listening, I want to make sure that you're hearing what I'm hearing. So I'm going to unpack all the steps that Dr. Whaley took here, because they did not tell her, come and do a program for us. They said, go figure out a wellness program for our physicians. Right? That's what they told you now. So first of all, she took the initiative to say, well, that's in line with my mission. Why not me? Right? And she's like, okay, we're gonna do this. And then she went to convince administration, and they said yes. And then she went to convince the physicians, and they said, you know, that she said yes to doing that. And they're like, and you're gonna do a talk? And she could have said no, but she said yes. And in grand rounds, like, call to action, really? But she said yes to that, and then ended up with more than twice the number of doctors she wanted signing up. Right. Because she was like, if I have five, that would be amazing. She ended up with 12 in a hospital of about 30. So that's almost half of the doctorates in one program. And that's just from one yes to another. Yes to another. Yes to another. Yes. And here we are. That is amazing.

Yes. And so I also. I just wanted to clarify. So this isn't my program, what I was actually told to, you know, research programs. So actually, this is even more amazing. I didn't know this at the time. One of the programs that I research is actually a program by another ontarim d business student.

Oh, boy.

So, you know, so actually, you know, that was sort of an unplanned collaboration, because this was even before. And so, yeah, I am just so thrilled that. That we're making an impact yet at our hospital. Entre MDs are making an impact.

I love it. I love it. That is. That is so amazing. And, you know, you talked about you before. You had this moment where you're like, okay. And you made a statement, said, my employed physician was not the problem. That was not the problem. The problem is I wasn't pursuing the things that I'm passionate about. So to think that now you have 12 doctors who are going to help have the same epiphany, like, this is not the problem. So their job satisfaction becomes better. Right. The retention at the hospital becomes better. They feel like they're doing more meaningful work. Right. And I mean, it's just good all around. It's a win, win, win, win, win situation. This is so good. Okay, so there's a doctor listening who has known for a while, I need to start a private practice, or I need to start a coaching business, or I need to start that product line, or I need to start this consulting firm, or I need to build out my physician brand. Right? I'm an intrapreneur, and I just need to own this. I need to start that YouTube channel, start monetizing it, whatever. There's so many things we know we should do, whether we're starting or scaling our businesses. But this doctor is afraid, right? And is in, like, oh, I don't know where to start mode. What do you tell that doctor? What advice do you have for him.

Or her that's so good? So I'm just referencing entre MD podcast episodes. I can't help it. Okay, so one of my favorite episodes, I think it's your last birthday episode, where you have conversations with your future self. So for that doctor who has this voice thinking, ooh, I'm scared But I have this dream. I'm squashing the dream, but I have it. Listen to that voice and Talk to your 90 year old self. What is your 90 year old self going to tell you? Is your 90 year old self going to say, oh yeah, I remember when you were 40, you were scared. You thought, well, maybe, what if you failed? Or is your 90 year old self going to say, actually, what are you scared of? What are you scared of? Nobody actually cares that you fail. But if you succeed, if you win, then think of how many lives you'll impact. And then your 90 year old self is also going to tell you, good job, you did it. You did it. Because I don't have energy now as a 90 year old to do what you wanted to do, but you did it.

I love it. And that is, that really is profound advice. I think my 90 year old self keeps me in check more than anything else. You know, the thought of showing up at 90 and realizing there was really nothing to be afraid of, but I don't have the time or the energy to then go back and do it. You know, this is the time to do that. So that's so powerful. Thank you for sharing that. So for everyone listening, I love Dr. Whaley's story because sometimes we look at the people who are doing nine figure businesses and we're like, yeah, whatever, right? But she's telling you a story about an epiphany she had four months ago, right? And only found the podcast two months before this recording. And look at all the stuff. And she hasn't really started. You know what I mean? Like, you're at the infancy of infancy stages, but look at all this stuff you've done. And the thing about doing is that it's a muscle. The more you do, the more you're able to do, the less afraid you are of doing right. I had a time when I was scared of being uncomfortable. Now I embrace discomfort because I'm like, this is where it all happened. It's a muscle. These are all muscles. So if you try to do something like, oh, I'm really scared, it's just because it's a flabby muscle, but the more you use it, the better you'll become at it. And people will be like, how are you this person who can do this thing? And you know, you're like, practice, practice, practice. So say yes. You may not need to say yes to a hundred million dollar contract, but there's something right in front of you that has been waiting for months for you to say yes. Just say yes. Say yes. Do it. Dare your fears. Dare to dream. Like, you know, Dr. Whaley's company and just go for it. And Dr. Whaley, I know that it's only a matter of time. Like, where would you be in three months? Where would you be in six months? A year, two years? And we don't know. As long as we keep saying yes is such a beautiful adventure. You don't know. You don't. So everybody's going, like, where can we find Dr. Whaley? She's amazing. And, oh, my goodness, I heard she has a podcast. Tell us all about it. Where can we find you?

Great. So I can be found on my website, Dare to Dream Physician. So go over there, check out my website, subscribe to my mailing list, and my podcast, also called Dare to Dream Physician Podcast, can be found. And, you know, you go you any podcast platform, just type in Dare to Dream Physician.

Awesome. Awesome. Okay, so any final words. I gave my final words, which are just do it. You know, any final words for the audience before I let you go.

I agree with just do it. Embrace your fear, and don't be afraid to sell, because selling can be part of serving. And also getting into a community, a supportive community where there's coaching and accountability, like the Entre MD Business School is invaluable. It's actually what keeps me going and what helps me continue the adventure.

Love it. And many more adventures to go. This is. I'm looking forward to when we bring you back, maybe in another six months here. Like, wait, what? Let me tell you all about it. It'll be so good. Thank you so much for coming on the show. I truly appreciate it, and thank you for sharing your story. The good, the bad, the ugly, as we say it, you know, so people get a real feel for what it's like to be an entrepreneur that's embracing discomfort. So for everyone listening, don't forget to share the episode with another doctor in your life. They will thank you. And I will see you on the next episode of the ontremd podcast. Hey, if you love listening to the entremd podcast, I want to invite you to join Entre MD on Demand. It is my signature subscription program that gives you access to a library of business courses designed to help you do one thing as a physician entrepreneur, and that is to thrive. Just head out to entrend.com ondemand and I love to have you join us. See you on the inside.