How this doctor overcame her fear of putting herself out there with Dr. Amy Paul

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Hi, docs. Welcome to the Entre MD podcast where it is all about helping amazing physicians just like you, embrace entrepreneurship so you can have the freedom to live life and and practice medicine on your terms. I'm your host, Dr. Una. All right, all right. Well, welcome back, docs, to another episode of the ontremd podcast. I am so excited about this episode because I have an Amazing guest here, Dr. Amy Paul, and she's going to share a story and an experience that you're 100% going to love. So I'm going to have her introduce herself here real quick and then we'll go into the episode. You're going to love this. All right, Dr. Amy, welcome to the show.

Thank you, Dr. Una. And thank you very much for this amazing opportunity to tell my story and to be a little bit more scared again, but do something new anyway. I think there's a lot of power behind that and I thank you very much. My pleasure. My name is Amy Paul. I'm an internal medicine and geriatric physician, originally from the island of St. Lucia. I have a very windy training story. I went to St. George's University and lost everything during the hurricane down there. Ended up at School in St. Vincent, Miami, went to the United Kingdom for clinicals, ended up in New York. I started out doing pathology, like post grad position that was created for me at this hospital because I left home to become a forensic Pathologist. And I used to harass the pathologist every single day after medical school. So they created a position for me, which is very interesting. So I got to do everything like a resident. And then I realized, you know what? I kind of miss talking to people. I miss interacting with patients and, you know, hearing people's stories rather than trying to make a story out of a piece of tissue. So I very luckily got an internal medicine physician at that hospital. And then I ended up doing a geriatrics rotation. And I absolutely loved the patients. I thought the patients were just the best thing. So I somehow ended up at the Cleveland Clinic and did my fellowship there. And then I decided, you know, I want to learn house calls medicine. So I've done that for the past couple of years here in Virginia and did a bit of nursing homework as well as rehabilitation, as well as inpatient, as well as teaching medical students and residents and, you know, busy, busy. And I got totally burnt out from that. Totally fried. And I've taken the past year off a baby. It's my second baby. And they are so adorable. I love them. And I was just about to go back to part time work when Covid hit. So I was forced to stay home because of course there's no childcare. I've been feeling around the Facebook groups, which is how I met, got into contact with you, Dr. Una, and your fabulousness and started listening to podcasts and trying to figure out, well, the world has changed and will continue to change and being a doctor is not what it was a year ago. Patients are not who they are a year ago. There's all this fear, uncertainty. There's more risk in just seeing a patient. And I had to ask myself, well, what do you really want to do? And I actually had time to sit and think about, huh, what do I really like? What do I enjoy? What do I want to do? What am I good at? All the things we never get to think about because we just, you start your morning and you're rolling until you come home and then you're rolling through the charting until 2:00am you know, so I have to say I've learned a lot about myself and I was like, I was telling you, Dr. Una, my mom has noticed a change in me because I'm listening to your podcast and getting all this stuff and I'm researching and have action written in my, you know, on a post it note everywhere, just take action. Just, just take action. So, you know, it's, it's been very interesting to say the least. So that's a little bit. A lot of it about me.

I like. So this didn't come up earlier, but so you talk about you had time to find out who you are, what it is you want. You know, we call that taking inventory, and you actually find out I'm a lot more amazing than I thought. Like, I have more stuff skills that I thought they're more things, they're dreams I had that maybe I've pushed them to the side for so long. And I mean, that's really cool that you were able to take the time and say, okay, let me look at this, Let me reevaluate this. And even stopping to say things have changed. So where are we going? You know, so who knows? It may turn out that this time, even though it's like you wanted to go back to work but you couldn't, it may end up being the best of times for you because it helped you pivot, you know? But that's. That's really so cool now. So the background of this whole podcast thing going on now is that in the Facebook group, the ontremd Facebook group, which, by the way, if you're not.

A part of the group, you need.

To join the group.

Just search for On Trendy in the Facebook tab. And we had a Facebook Live challenge. So it's a five day Facebook life challenge. The goal was for you to go live once every day. And we started off with a framework. This is how you go life. This is what you say. This is how you start. This is how you end the whole nine yards. And then Dr. Amy here totally rocked it. And so before this, had you ever done a Facebook Live or done a video like before this challenge happened?

Before this challenge happened? I did not. In fact, I remember messaging you and saying, wait, I don't even know how to do a Facebook Live. I stopped. Like, wait, what? Where do I even. I had to Google it and watch a video that said, okay, 1, 2, 3. This is what you do. I said, oh, okay. I had never done anything like that before.

So hang on. So you didn't even know where the go live button on the Facebook thing was? Is that what you had no clue?

I have no clue.

Okay, so this is gonna be great because somebody may be thinking, I can't do this, but your is just fantastic. Like, if she you, everybody's gonna end up going like, oh, she could do it and rock it that way. I could. I can rock it too. So tell us why. I'm sure at some point, right, with the number of people who do Videos and go live. Some point you may have thought this would be cool, but you didn't go live or you didn't do a video, right? What was, what held you back from doing videos?

Oh my gosh, so many things. Well, first of all, I had all this self doubt, like, why would, why would anybody listen to you? Like, what do you have to say? Because I watch Facebook And I watch YouTube, you know, just to pass the time. Just like, yeah, everybody has something interesting to say. There's nothing interesting about me. Just a regular girl, you know, taking care of my kids. There's nothing, there's nothing amazing about that. I also thought, well, what would I get on camera and be so nervous and choke and, and choke down? Like, I don't know, what would I say? I probably last like a min and run out of good stuff that people would be interested in listening to and pay attention. That was the main thing. And then I just had this fear. I was just like, well, everybody's going to see you and hear you and what are people going to think? Look at this girl, she's a doctor and you're on Facebook making videos. What's the value in that? Shouldn't you be saving the world? What are you doing? So I had all of these thoughts, which honestly, they were just. Right now it's like a puff of smoke. Those are totally irrelevant.

Wow. Okay, I'm going to stop you there. So now you're thinking, this is a puff of smoke. When did that transition? Like, when did you go from I really can't do this and it stopped you from doing it for a while to those thoughts? That's all a puff of smoke. Where did that transition happen?

I think it happened around the fourth video there. So what I did was I made the videos, I said, okay, I listened to the framework every time and then I made some little notes and I did the video and that was it. I left it. I didn't touch it. I didn't go back to it. Didn't see it. I saw the notifications come up, so. And so did. No, I'm not even gonna see it. But it's not till the fourth video that I went back and I saw some of the comments and saw the number of views. I'm just like, oh, hold on. So all of this junk, I was thinking, come on now, this is silly. You are a physician. What percent of the population has the ability and the opportunity and the blessing to not just go to medical school to finish, to graduate, to go through training and to be an Attending, like, of course people value what you say, but at the time, at first, I'm just like, I don't. Yeah, no.

So you bring up a really important point. So I want to point this out to all the listeners just in case you missed it. Those thoughts can be a puff of smoke after you take action. Like, they don't go away before. They go away after you've taken action, after you've done a few things. So you're saying that you even did three videos before you even went back to look at any of the videos? And I watched your videos. They were really good. I was like, she's actually a great speaker. Like, oh, my gosh. You know, they're really good. But that's the reason why I'm really big on Take action, Take action, take action. Because I think is the antidote for fear. You start taking action, like, wait a minute. Number one, I didn't die. Number two, I didn't choke. Number three, people are actually like, thank you for posting this. So that means my stuff is not that invaluable. It begins to show you that you're cooler than you thought. So that takes me to this, right? So when you. When you first saw the notification in the Facebook group about the five day Facebook Live challenge, honest to God, what was your first reaction when you saw that?

My first reaction was, I have to do that. And then that. It was immediately like, you would never do that, girl. Aw, you stop right there. But my instant, I just felt drawn to it for some reason. You just have to do it. Oh, yeah.

Oh, so good.

But however, I don't know if you noticed, I didn't start on day one, right. Because I got there and I stood there with the phone. I'm just like, I should do it. And that negativity just took over. And I was like, you know what? I'm not gonna do this. What? What's gonna come out of it? What? What? You're gonna do it? And then what? You know, it would have just been time. Shouldn't you be taking care of your kids?

Wow.

Shouldn't you be reading? Shouldn't you be trying to advance yourself in some other way? What are you doing? So that drove me the first day, the next day, I was like, I'm just gonna do it. This is ridiculous. It's just. I just have to do it. And it took me 15 minutes to start. I was standing because I did it in front of the bathroom mirror so I could see myself. And I was just. I was jumping up and down. I Was shaking. I was like, oh, my God, these people are going to see me. And all these people who know me and my husband's friends. It took me 15 minutes to start, but once I started, I was like, all right, this is comfortable. I'm just going to talk about something basic that applies to everybody, that any doctor would tell you there's nothing scientific. There's no rocket science here. Best way to make the best of your doctor's visit, that's easy, and it should help somebody. So it was interesting. And at the end, I felt like. I felt that I had rushed through it. You rushed through it. I don't think I remembered all of the framework, but at least I had the basic things. My story, one, two, three, you know. Yeah. But it did take me a while to start.

So I know what happens. The closer you get to doing something scary that you decided to do, Whether this is going to talk on stage, whether this is an event or it's an email you're sending to your list. And you're just standing there like, what happens when I press send? I know. The closer you get to that time, the more your inner critic screams. Right? So I named. Now, sometimes it takes you a while to even realize that I have an inner critic. Right. You think all the thoughts are your thoughts. Like, right. But why would you be telling yourself, nobody wants to listen to you? Like, that doesn't make sense. You're not crazy. Right? So I named my inner critic Vicki. And to all the Vickies in my life, it's a different spelling. This is a different person. This is not you. And then she starts talking like, that's just crap you're trying to put out there. Nobody wants that, all that stuff, right? So before you did your first video, you probably pumped yourself up like, we're.

Going to do this.

We're going to ace it. But as you're getting closer to it, your inner critic starts saying things. So what happened just before you did your first Facebook Live?

So my inner critic is called Suzette. I actually gave her a name because I think Suzanne is just so edgy. She is crazy. She is. She is crazy. But right before I started, I was like, your children are going to hurt themselves, and these people are going to laugh. It was just overwhelmingly.

Your children are going to hurt themselves.

Yes. The kids will fall. Nobody's watching them. What are you doing? You're going to be taking your eyes away. You're not even listening. It was just vicious. And the first day, she held me back, Right? She had me in her pocket. I thought about it all that night. I was like, you know what? This is insane. It's just a video. Why can't I push past? Like, I will inject a knee with my eyes closed. Why can I not just do this? The second day, it was the same thing, but I had to kind of figure out a strategy around myself, if that makes sense. So the thing that made me most afraid was, okay, the kids are unsupervised, right? So what did I do? The little one was in a bouncer, and the older one had some work to do strapped in a chair. So she was in her booster seat, and the little one was in his bouncer. So I know these kids are safe. There's nothing happening, and I can hear them. So I could hear the music of the bouncer, and I could hear when she was turning her pages, so they're okay. And then I had to think, well, people will laugh at you. So I had a little note saying, people love you. Nobody's gonna laugh. But that's part of why I had. Part of why I was in front of the mirror, that I can see it and I can see myself, and I made sure I look good. Like, but you look good. People are gonna love what you're saying. And your kids are safe.

And for the podcast, she looks good.

Thank you. So what's the problem? So I really had to find a way around it, because at that time, I wasn't yet confident enough to say, suzette, you need to just sit down. You just need to sit down. You stay here so you see that I can do it. To not necessarily push out the door, but just, I know you're there, and I'm going to prove you wrong. So closer to the end, I was at that point where, yeah, I see you. I hear you, but I'm going to do this. All right. But it was still pretty scary. But you did it. I did it. I did it. Yes. I did do it.

So for you, what would you say you got out of that experience from doing the Facebook Live? Now, some of these could be mindset shifts. Some others could be opportunities. Maybe that came out of it, whichever. But what was the result of that?

So the first result was confidence and just a general comfort. Like. Like, I'm sitting here today, and I'm just like, yes, okay, that's fine. Yeah, I know Suzanna is talking, but that's okay, because we're going to do this, and we'll do this. Okay. I didn't have that before. I know. How to do Facebook lives now. But I've also had. I've also been approached by a geriatric agency that has asked, well, we need a couple more of these, just as you did for the general population, not necessarily for doctors or nurses. Just anybody on the street could understand this. Family and friends have reached out. I do have a friend who said, you know, I really made her stop to think. And she realized that she had her own issues of her own that she needed to address and is getting some help, you know, as a result of. But she said hearing it from somebody that she knows and she trusts, you know, it made her really stop and reflect versus, you know, you just hear something on the radio, you don't know where the. Where are they coming from? What's their agenda? So that I'm getting goosebumps saying it because I'm so happy for her. So that's been very, very, very helpful as well. And, well, here I'm sitting here talking on your podcast. Who knew?

Who knew? But you want me to tell you how this happened? Now, I noticed because you sent me a message before you went. You're like, oh, my God, I'm just gonna do it. And then you sent me another one. Like, oh, my God, I don't even know how to go live.

Okay.

But then you went live. And so I was, you know, you guys tagged entre MD and stuff on your videos. And then so I went, I looked at your first video, and I'm like, here she is, afraid of doing her first video. She has 1200 views. Like, what in the world? And then I'm listening to it, and I'm like, and she's such a great speaker, you know, And I thought about it. I was like, so here's all this brilliance and fabulousness that's hidden behind Suzette's. Right? That's what you called your inner critic. Suzette's like, shut up. Don't say anything. Just do what you've always done. Don't try anything new. And I was like, I'm just going to get her on the podcast because there's so many people who are held back, whether it's from a Facebook live or going on a podcast or starting a business or enrolling in a program or whatever. And they're waiting for the fear to go away. But you're a proof of, go take the action. And the action will show you you have no reason to be afraid. Like, you can do this. Afraid. I've done most things afraid. So your story is so fabulous. That was just like, people just need to hear this and look at this. So out of doing a Facebook Live, even when you weren't sure you'd never done one before, you're doing it in your bathroom. You literally had to put up there that people love what I have to. People love me. And all that on your bathroom mirror as you did that. I didn't even realize you did that. But out of that, your confidence has grown. Out of that, you're like, I now know how to do Facebook lives. Out of that, you have an agency reaching out. Like, we want you to do more stuff. And there's no telling where that goes. Right. And you're here on the Entre MD podcast. And for the podcast listeners, she's actually. This is actually being streamed live into the Entre MD Business School. Right. And all of that happened, and you had no idea. It just came from you saying yes to one thing. And here we are.

Yeah, that's right.

Thank you.

Yeah, you're right. You're right. And I had no idea. It's like, I'm just gonna thing. But it's amazing if we all just sit and reflect on the number of times we've missed out on something, some sort of opportunity, just because we're afraid or we second guess ourselves, or we think, well, I'm not good enough, or how I could never do. I could never be that person. Well, why not? You know, why could you not? And thinking about it, and actually my husband put it in perspective and said, but you went to medical school, right? Like I said before, how many people do it and finish and succeed and end up doing fabulous stuff and helping people every day? Like every patient we touch, There's a gravity and a power behind shifting people's lives. And especially in geriatrics, you know, I feel it a lot every time I step into somebody's house because I'm stepping into their world. You know, it's not like somebody's coming to the clinic. There's a weight behind just giving them one tip that changes everything. And I always come back to this patient who she. She just wanted to eat fried chicken. She was 95, and she just wanted fried chicken. And I wrote a prescription that we put on her fridge saying that she's allowed to have one piece of fried chicken every Wednesday afternoon with her tea. And it was like an instant lift to her spirit. And her grandchildren always came back and said, well, I don't know what you did, but thank you. Because she's smiling, she's more interactive, and we Love going over there. And the patient herself said, well, that's one thing that I like. It's not somebody controlling me and saying, well, you can't have this and you can't have that, and you need to eat all these pills. So we don't realize the gravity of what we do every day. And when you have a chance, like, I've been blessed with the opportunity to be able to sit and think about all of that stuff. Why can you not do something as simple as a Facebook challenge, right. Or even what you offer at Entre MD Business School? Why can you not develop your own idea into a business? It just. Everything just kind of grows from there, I guess, is what I'm trying to say. I know you need the right guidance and so on, but, you know, if you wait to try and say, well, you know, one day I will be able to. One day after I do, like, 10 certifications, I will be able to. It's never going to happen. You just have to jump in. Definitely. Because if I had waited and said, well, I need to know how to do a Facebook Live, I need to know. I need to have a good camera, I need to have a tripod and good lighting, I would never have done that.

Yep. Stop waiting. Just do it. So. So what we. What would you say? Because I love that you're saying this, and I actually love that you're in geriatrics because you're closer to people who are closer to the end. And the few interactions I've had when I say few relative to you, the few interactions I've had with that population is there's a lot of regret. They say a lot of things about, now that you're young, do this. And they're saying that because they didn't do it right. I had one who stopped me at this time. I had three kids. I knew I was going to have one more whole long story behind that for a totally different podcast episode. But I met this older lady, and we're just talking, and she was like, you know, I had two kids. I always wanted three. I waited too long. I was never able to have the third one. She didn't know. We. This was a business conversation, okay? We were talking real estate. This was not. This is not a family. We're friends. We're not friends. Right? And she's like, you're young now. Whatever you want to do, do it now. If you want to have more kids, have them now. It's just that age, they're so more. They're in tune with the Fact that they don't have all the time in the world. Sometimes we forget, right? We think, oh, there'll be tomorrow. Like there's always been tomorrow. You know what I mean? Like, they're more in tune with that. So that puts, it kind of puts things in perspective. Like, I'm too nervous to do this now, but when I'm 90, will I be happy I didn't, you know what I mean? And you know, I just love that population. Sometimes I just go visit them because they help you think in a, in a different way, you know? So what would you tell the person who's afraid of a next step? So it doesn't have to be a face, it may be a Facebook Live. It doesn't have to be a Facebook Live, right? It could be a Facebook Live. It could be starting a business, it could be scaling a business. Because even after you start one and it's successful and you're like, it's time to go to the next level, here comes Suzette or Vicki again. Like, you can't do that. You could do that, but you can't. You definitely can't do this. You know, what do you tell that person?

So the first thing I would say is, I'm going to quote Dr. Una, take action. Because unless you start, you will not have momentum to go. You won't move. Right? You need to be moving. You need to. Because for me, just starting has shown me different avenues. What other opportunities are there versus waiting and sitting in my comfort zone? I would say we all just need to take a moment to reflect on ourselves and listen to our Suzettes. Right? Because you have to listen. Listen and address what they're saying. So I counted mine by, first of all, my kids are safe. So even if you may tell me that, I already know that's not true because I've addressed that. So unless we sit and address our fears and really give ourselves strategies if we need to workarounds or even just try to recognize this is totally irrational. Like, this is not. I am not going to fall down and die just because I've sent an email to 450 people saying, Please come and hear my webinar. Like that sort of thing, like that is not going to happen. It's also been helpful to realize that this is a moment in time. So the Facebook challenge was a slice out of my day, a very tiny slice, which so far has had significant impact, but it's also not had a dramatic change on my life. So I have no negativity has come out of it. And even if there has, there's been so much positivity, it hasn't even mattered. Right. So I would tell anybody who wants to do something big or small, that they're afraid of, yeah, you should be afraid because it's different. But you don't let your fear hold you back, because then you want. You just won't be fulfilling what you need to do for yourself. As you said, Dr. Una, geriatric patients definitely have a lot to teach us about holding ourselves back and the value of just doing stuff. You want to do it, just do it. Because when you get to that point, people's biggest regret is always, well, I wish I had. I wish I had done this. I wish I had done that. It's never, I had this job and I worked 80 hours and I was fabulous. They got awards. It's never that. People never, ever address that as the first thing. It's always, I regret that I didn't do this. So that's what I would say. Just do it. Yeah, we know you're scared. We're all scared. Everybody's scared. Especially now. We're all scared. But that does not mean that you shouldn't just go forward, you know?

All right, well, she said it, Nike said it, I said it. Just do it. Just do it. I love it. All right, so if people want to know more about you, they want to go see these amazing Facebook lives that we're talking about, and they want to follow you and follow your stuff.

Where do they find you?

Sure. Well, on Facebook. My name is Amy S.M. paul. The S and the M are stuck together like a word. And that's where you can find me and find my videos.

Awesome. Well, thank you so much for coming on the podcast. Thank you for sharing your story. I am sure this will be one of the fan favorites because we can all find ourselves in your story. We all have fears about new things we have to do, fears about bigger things we have to do. We all have that inner critic now. Your inner critic is brutal. I'll just tell the kids are gonna hurt themselves. I mean, she's brutal. My Vicky's bad. Your girl is brutal. But we all have that. So thank you for sharing it, for being vulnerable and sharing your story. This is really helpful and for all the listeners you have it. So take a moment and look at those things you've been holding back on, things you haven't done because you're afraid of what will happen or someone say what someone say, or your kids getting hurt or any of those and then ask yourself, when I'm 90, will I be happy that I didn't do this? Or would I be saying, girl, you should have just done that? Like, dude, you should have just done that. If you'll say that, then go do it. Okay? So go do it. Take action. Post about it. Tag us entremd. I'd love to hear your story of the actions you took as a result of this, and I will see you on the very next episode of the Entre MD Podcast. If you love this podcast, please take a moment to subscribe, share, and review it on itunes as you go about your week. Remember, you're not just an md, you're an Entre md. Don't forget to tune in in next week for another great episode.

Until next time.