Two coaches discuss how filler words like "but," "should," and "could" make speakers sound apologetic and passive. Women especially tend toward servant-oriented language that makes listeners disengage. Cutting these words helps you sound confident and own the conversation.
I have 10 watch words listed in the communication. Why but and should are the top three to just eliminate.
Yes. Thank you.
You're welcome.
No, because I've had that same conversation with some of my coaching clients who say I need to be and kind of ironically, they're all women as well. They always say I need to be more servant, more assertive. I need, you know, I feel like I'm not, I'm talking but nobody's really listening. And I kind of wonder if it might be something that I'm doing. And I'm like, okay, tell me a story. And then they'll tell me a story and I'm okay. Now repeat that story and eliminate words like should, could, would. You know why? It makes you sound hesitant. It makes you sound like you're passive, very passive and operating after the listener.