010 Anxiety and Intentional Attention

This is Dr. Torrey. Welcome to the Influence Every Day show, where we make every day better and we influence for good. During the pandemic, I did a lot of work in peer support, where I would help those who work in healthcare going through various stressors, whether the stress was at home, whether it was politics, whether it was the pandemic itself, whether it was work and staffing shortages and all these things. I would help people through the emotional response and sort of shunt them to resources if they needed other resources. But I'll tell you one thing, there's something that kept coming back time and time again, and as something that people said was helpful, not only do I want to share with you what that thing is, which is an exercise called 5 4, 3, 2, 1. Perhaps you may have heard of it, perhaps you may have tried it yourself. It's something that we typically sort of instruct people on how to do as it relates to anxiety, to help them decrease their anxiety in the moment. But that tool, people kept coming back and telling me that, you know what, that really helped. And not only did it help me with the anxiety I was experiencing at work, but it helped me at home. It even helped me with other emotions, other negative emotions that I didn't want to experience or that I wanted to sort of reset and get myself into a more appropriate state to address the thing at hand. This thing kept coming back again and again with people giving me feedback, saying that this thing was awesome. And now this may or may not work for you. So in this episode of Influence every day, I. I'm not only going to instruct you on how to do it, perhaps you find benefit in that, but I also want to tell you why it works for a lot of people, because the why behind it might serve you in lots of ways. This 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 exercise is easy to do, and it's easy to remember, essentially the way this works. 543-2-1. You essentially pick a sense one of your five senses and pick a few things to focus on first. In the moment, you pick five things that you can see. Look for five things around the room, outside, wherever you are, look for five things that you can see and take a brief moment and pause on each one to experience it. So right now, as I am recording this for you, I can see out my window and I can see a lawn. I can see grass, right? So if I focus on the grass, I can sort of, sort of see its colors, its shades, the fact that there are butterflies flitting in it, etc. So I'm looking at the grass. That's one of the five. I could look around and pick something else. It might be a lamp. It might be a carpet or a design in a carpet or whatever. You pick five things and just focus on them briefly a few seconds. Just experience them in the moment. Five things you can see. Then you do the same thing with four things you can hear, Four things you can hear. I hear my own voice. I hear the hum of an air conditioner. I hear the hum of the lights that are lighting me right now. I hear these things, and I just focus on them briefly. Then move on to three things that you can feel. I can feel the glasses on my. On my face if I pay attention to them. I can feel my watch on my wrist. I can feel the seat underneath my rear end. I feel those. I experience them for a brief moment and then move on to two things that I can smell and then one thing that I can taste. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can feel, 2 things you can smell, one thing you can taste. And you know what? You usually don't even get to smell or taste, because by that time, you've already put your attention elsewhere and you physiologically started to reset. What do I mean by that? Well, physiologically, you experience anger or frustration or anxiety or stress with certain physiologic responses. Perhaps your heart rate goes up. Perhaps you have a different sensation on your skin, Perhaps your nostrils flare. Perhaps you experience palpitations. Not just your heart rate going up, but you experience palpitations. Or maybe your breathing changes or maybe your mind is racing. Those are all physiologic responses to stress. What's interesting about 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 is that you're diverting your attention. It allows you a brief moment of pulling your attention away from that which was bothering you to begin with. There's a premise. I would say it's a truth that is spoken throughout the coaching world, the therapy world. Certainly, I hear it all the time from my hypnotherapy teachers and my hypnotherapy instructors. Where attention goes, energy flows. Where attention goes, energy flows. And what's interesting is we can only put our attention on five to nine things at a time. So therefore, if you march through the senses and you go through five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can feel. So when you focus on these other things, it gives you enough time for your body to sort of physiologically do a little Less of what it was doing before, whether it was palpitations or a higher heart rate. Maybe the heart rate comes down a little bit. Maybe your mind racing, maybe it's not racing as much. Maybe the breathing is a little bit slower. It gives a little bit of time for physiologic reset. It can address the anxiety, but it won't take the actual thing that's causing the anxiety away. But what it will do, it will help you get into a state that makes you better able to address it, better able to handle the thing in front of you. Oftentimes we're anxious or upset or frustrated about something that's not even right in front of us right now. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Allows you to divert your attention enough so that you can handle the things that are in front of you right now enough to physiologically reset. To be not anxious while you're playing with your kids. To be not anxious while you're shopping at the grocery store. To be not anxious while you're having an important conversation with your spouse. Whatever. The thing is where attention goes, energy flows. If you're putting your attention on the thing that makes you angry, the thing that makes you anxious, then that is where all of your energy is going to go. Now, what's even more interesting to me is that my hypnotherapy teacher said something the other day. He added a line to where attention goes, energy flows. Where attention goes, energy flows and that thing grows. Where attention goes, energy flows and that thing grows. If you're putting your attention on the negative news, then that thing is going to seem bigger. It's going to grow. If you're putting your attention on gossip and negative energy and negative thoughts and suspicion about other people, then guess what? That suspicion is going to grow. Those negative thoughts are going to grow. That poor relationship with those people is going to get worse. If you put your attention on that fight you just had or that argument you just had, energy is going to flow towards that thing and that thing is going to become more impactful, more significant, heavier on your heart. Where attention goes, energy flows, and that thing grows. Therefore, use your attention deliberately. Be deliberate about where you put your attention. Be intentional about where you put your attention. What I submit to you is for you first to try. Five, four, three, two, one. Try it. When you experience a negative emotion that you think might be negatively impacting you, right? Sometimes negative emotions are important and they're actually good to have. But if it becomes excessive, then you try. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Look for five things you can see and actually experience each one. Experience visualizing or seeing that thing in the moment and then move through all the senses. Four things that you can hear, three things that you can feel. March through those senses and actually experience each one. Your first task is when you're feeling a negative emotion that is also having a negative impact. Try 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. In the days ahead. Try it. By the way, you don't even need the negative emotion. You can just try it and notice that you actually feel a little calmer. Even if you think you're not stressed right now, just try it. Two other things I want you to do. I want you to ask yourself, where are you spending your attention? Spending your attention. Where are you spending it? Now that's not usually a verb we use for attention, but I want you to think of it that way. Where are you spending your attention? Pay attention to those and ask yourself, is that wise? Are those good for me? Are those beneficial? Are those helpful for me or for my relationships or for how I serve the world? If not, find a way to reduce them or cut them off. Now another follow up question. Where are you investing your attention? Where might you invest your attention? Investing your attention into something that is growth oriented, something that is productive, something that you know. Podcasts like this one, books that help you grow. Read some books. Where are you putting your attention? Where are you investing your attention? Every input counts. So beware of negative anxiety producing news. Where the world's ending every five minutes, where somebody's dying and there's a mass shooting and there's this negative stuff going on in politics and there's this war in the world and, and there's this oppression going on, that negative news coming in. Even if you're one of those people that thinks I can have the TV on or something on in the background or some radio show or something in the background because I need background noise. Well, pick different background noise. Pick beneficial background noise. Pick something that is motivational, something that is good for you, something that is growth oriented as background noise. Not the local news, not world news, not some dysfunctional talk show. Put something good on. Every input counts. Everything coming in through your ears, everything coming in through your eyes. So be intentional about where you put your attention. I hope you found this helpful. Try 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. This is only the end of today's show if you let it be. Who needs to hear what you just heard? Go ahead and share it with them right now. The influence every day. Podcast is free. We don't sell advertising space so telling others is the best way to pay us back, but more importantly, it's the best way to pay it forward. If you enjoyed today's podcast, take a moment to rate and review the show. Then check out the additional links and materials that go along with it. They offer more ways to take your influence, your impact and your relationships to a whole new level. 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