Dr. Ed Tori reflects on how life breaks into layers: moments, rituals, threads, chapters, eras. He uses a life sheet tracking 52 weeks across 80 rows to show how a single moment, like a wedding anniversary, can pivot everything. The practice is simple: look back, feel grateful, call someone who comes to mind.
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This is Dr. Torrey. Welcome to the Influence Every Day show, where we make every day better and we influence for good.
You know, normally, before I record a podcast episode, I actually tend to write down my thoughts, write down some notes, provide some structure. But today's a little different. I'm not sure why. It might be because I recently celebrated an anniversary for my wedding anniversary. It might be because I weekly, every Monday, I color in a little box on my life sheet. It's basically. I've talked about it before. It's a. A single sheet that has rows that have 52 boxes in each one, and there are. There are 80 of them representing a lifespan. And every Monday morning, I color it in. I color in one week, and it happens to be Monday, I happen to be coloring in that box. And recent wedding anniversary, recent news of someone's passing, recent interactions with family, friends, my children, neighbors, and also discussions of eras of my life with some of my closest family members. And as I was doing this morning, I don't know what it is. It's a little unscripted, but I was just reflecting on time and its meaningful chunks. In the Influence Book Club, we went over the book the Power of Moments by Chip Heath and Dan Heath. And of course, moments are incredibly powerful. We can pivot our own lives, shape other people's lives in a single moment. We can change someone's day, someone's month, someone's year, someone's life in a single moment. And how many moments have we had and how many things came together to create a single moment in our lives? It could have been a momentous occasion, like a graduation or a wedding or a birth or a death and all the things that led up to that moment. But it could also be a moment where somebody just smiles when you needed it, or they text you or they send you a message or a gift or stop by. And that's just a moment. But it can be so transformative. And there are larger chunks of time, almost like beads of time, that are like a series of smaller moments strung together. These can be in the form of rituals. It could also be births and deaths and outings with friends where there's a bunch of moments strung together that make an experience, right? And then after that, there are strings. There's a connected threads of our lives where it may be that a particular year or a particular couple of years are strung together with something that we're deeply concerned with or something we're striving for or something we're healing from. And that thread is like A continuous thread. Even though all the other stuff around life is happening, relationships and work and school, all that stuff is happening. But there's this common thread weaving through it. Maybe it's a family member who's going through an illness. Maybe it's anticipating something that's coming up, like a graduation or something like that. But there are these threads of time, and then there are these chapters, chapters of time where we have a large swath of time that. Where there's a continuous thread, there are multiple moments, but it all sort of is chunked. Maybe it's by location. You lived in a certain area for a certain time. Maybe it is a certain phase in life. It's high school years or it's college years, or it's the early working years, or it's the early phase of marriage, before children or after children. These are sort of chapters of life. And then there's full eras or seasons of life. Just reflecting on all of those. I don't know. It made me immensely grateful. So if you're hearing this and we've ever met, I'm telling you we had moments that I'm grateful for. If you're hearing this and we haven't met, I'm asking you to go out and create moments in other people's lives. Go out and create moments for your own life. Think about the threads that have been weaving the fabric or the pattern in your life. And what can we change? What can we be a little more deliberate about? Who can we reach out to? Who can we maybe reframe our relationship with from the past or our relationship with an era from the past, or our relationship with a phase in our life, a season, a chapter, maybe we were looking at it a certain way, but if we just reflect a little bit, if we just reflect a little bit more about that and frame it in a different way, that it was a piece of your life experience that was vital to arrive at where you are right now. It was vital for it. Even if it was painful or sour or bitter, or if it was amazing, wonderful, and fulfilling, no matter what it was, it was a piece that led up to where we are right now. To where you are right now. So my. My humble suggestion to you is in the middle of this rambling, is to. To look back with gratitude. Look back with gratitude. And if somebody pops into your mind, reach out to them. And if they are gone, if they've passed or you have no contact with them, pray for them, think about them, reframe your relationship with them. If they are alive right now go.
Ahead and re if you have their.
Contact info and you're just thinking about them, maybe that's all you have to do is just tell them, hey, I was thinking about you. I hope you're well. So go ahead and reach out. First, look back. First reflect on these moments, these chapters, these eras. And if you can, look back and reframe it. Check it out, see what can you be grateful for? Who can you be grateful for? And then go ahead and let them know that you're grateful. I'll see you in the next episode.
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A whole new level.
Now go forth and influence for good every day.
