054 No Amount of Guilt - No Amount of Worry

This is Dr. Torrey. Welcome to the Influence Every Day show, where we make every day better and we influence for good. There's a quote I keep on my phone. Every once in a while, I need to look at it, and every once in a while, a different aspect of it is almost like it's perfect timing, and it's exactly what I needed. Now, the quote is from 1400 years ago, and actually, I've often seen multiple misattributions of this particular quote. You know how people sometimes show these quote cards on LinkedIn and Facebook and Instagram, where all it is is a quote from somebody? I've seen this quote, multiple permutations of it from different famous people, such as, like, Arianna Huffington and others. But this quote actually comes from 1400 years ago. I keep it on my phone, and the full version of it is absolutely incredible and could be a series of podcast episodes. Okay, so are you ready? Here's the quote. No amount of guilt can change the past. No amount of worry can change the future. Go easy on yourself, because the outcome of all affairs is by God's decree. If something is not meant for you, it will never come your way. But if it is yours by destiny, from it you cannot flee. I'll say it one more. No amount of guilt can change the past. No amount of worry can change the future. Go easy on yourself, because the outcome of all affairs is by God's decree. If something is not meant for you, it will never come your way. But if it is yours by destiny, from it you cannot flee. Now, this quote is incredibly powerful, and what's really interesting is it's one of those things that when you read it, you'll often pull from it exactly what you need in that moment. No amount of guilt can change the past. If you just stop there. That is incredible. It's true. No amount of guilt can change the past. You can address the past. You can address the guilt. You can address something that occurred before. Maybe you had a misstep, you did something wrong, you neglected something, you did something or failed to do something. You said something or failed to say something. In any case, you have some guilt about it. Okay, well, you can't change the fact that it occurred, and you can't change the harm that was felt by someone else or how it was received. You can't change what occurred then. So it can't change the past. But if the corollary to the first phrase, no amount of guilt can change the past is that you can address that relationship, that event that Misstep you can address that moving forward, but you can't change the past. So there, there has to be a certain amount of acceptance that comes with that. Now the next one. No amount of worry can change the future. This actually gets to a core belief whether or not you believe this. But you'll hear people say this all the time. It was meant to be. I guess that's how it was meant to be. I guess that's part of the plan. I guess that's the universe, right? Or God. That's how people will often manifest all the concepts in this quote. But no amount of worry can change the future. Think about that. No matter what you believe about a higher power God, the universe, no matter what you believe about it, you know this part to be true. The worry, the distress, the stuff we. There's a certain amount of stress that's good in preparation. There's a certain amount of, they might say, eustress in preparing for something, but that's not worry. But that, that could help you. But the worry is it's more than that. It's almost like it's a debilitating type of stress. Not only that, it's often conjuring up what would come to be in the future. Like you're making it up. You're not. You're not. It's not even an accurate picture. You're worrying about something and it's not even accurate. No amount of worry can change the future. Something's going to happen, but you're worrying about the worst possible outcome or some bizarre interpretation, how others are going to see it or how others are going to react. Most of it's made up. Most of it is us conjuring up what we think the future will be. So no amount of worry can change the future. Realize that that future is coming. Prepare for it. Skill up, nurture those relationships. Do what you have to do. But worrying about it is not going to serve you. In fact, it will actually more likely make your worries come true. Now the next part, especially if you take it with this. No amount of guilt can change the past. No amount of worry can change the future. Go easy on yourself. Go easy on yourself. Wow. Something happened in the past and we're beating ourselves up for it. We're replaying the conversations. We're replaying how it could have been, what could have been done, what I could have said, how I could have been. And we replay it and we beat ourselves up. No, go easy on yourself. No amount of worry is going to change the future. Go easy on Yourself. Go easy on yourself. Do what you have to do. Prepare. Yeah. And do your best. I remember I used to do this workout P90X and he used to say, do your best and forget the rest. It's kind of like that. Try to show up, try to skill up, try to prepare, but then go easy on yourself. And now it's really interesting. For those of you who say it was meant to be, it's part of God's plan, et cetera, the next part is really powerful. Go easy on yourself. Because the outcome of all affairs is by God's decree. In other words, what actually occurs is by God's plan. It's God's plan, whatever occurs. Now does that mean you just sit back and wait? No. You prepare, you skill up, you do the thing you need to do. But the outcome of it is by God's decree. The outcome is God's plan. But you have a responsibility. You have a responsibility to your employer, to your children, to your parents, to your neighbors, to society, to community, to your nation. But you have a responsibility to humanity, to the people that are in front of you, the people you serve. You have a responsibility. So you still have to fulfill those things. But we don't concern ourselves with the outcome so much, because the outcome is by God's decree. The outcome is by God's plan. If you've ever seen the book by Mel Robbins, the let them theory, or maybe you've seen her on podcasts or YouTube, it's like, let them do what they're going to do. The outcome is going to be by God's decree. But let me take responsibility for what I'm responsible for. Let me own up to what's before me. But don't stress about the outcome. That's not in your hands. What's in your hands is what you decide, what you do, what you say, your intentions, your actions, your character, how you show up. That is what you're responsible for. You're not responsible for the outcome. Now, to go further with the quote. If something is not meant for you, it will never come your way. If something is not meant for you, it will never come your way. This sort of addresses the other things, right? No amount of worry is going to change the future. If it's not meant for you, it's not coming your way. What are you worried about? Stop it. If it's yours by destiny, from it, you cannot flee. That's also acceptance. Like this whole quote is about acceptance and then about owning up to the responsibility. No amount of guilt's Gonna change the past. No amount of worry is gonna change the future. Go easy on yourself, because the outcome of all affairs is by God's decree. If it's not meant for you, it will never come your way. So that stuff, oh, I could have had that promotion. I could have done that thing at that job. I could have been successful with that project. I could have had that love. I could have had that marriage. I could have, could have done this. We could have done that. No, if something's not meant for you, it will never come your way. And if it's yours by destiny, from it you cannot flee. If it's yours by destiny, own it, Own it. Fulfill your responsibility to it and be grateful for it. So I hope you found this quote helpful again. I keep this on my phone. It's from 1400 years ago by a man named Omar Ibn Al Khattab. He was the Khalifa of the Muslim world at the time and this was a quote from him that is still available and was written down and etc. So no amount of guilt can change the past. No amount of worry can change the future. Go easy on yourself, because the outcome of all affairs is by God's decree. If something is not meant for you, it will never come your way. But if it is yours by destiny, from it you cannot flee. I'll see you in the next episode. This is only the end of today's show if you let it be. Who needs to hear what you just heard? 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