How to Understand The Quiet Urges of Your Soul with Serena Dyer-Pisoni and Saje Dyer

Hi, I'm Emily Williams, the founder of the top success and personal development company for driven women called I Heart My Life. I grew my company from $442 to seven figures in my first 18 months, and since then it's become a movement for women who know they're meant for something big and refuse to settle. At I Heart My Life, we operate with the belief that anything is possible and no dream is too big. We're all about combining business strategy, deep mindset work, high performance practices, money tips, and a whole lot of lifestyle to help you get the results you deserve in all areas of life. Because after all, we only get this one shot. This is your one stop shop for all things inspiration. So grab your favorite drink and a pen and a notebook and get ready to be inspired. Oh, and if you're not a member of our community, go to iheartmylife.com join and receive all of our emails and announcements. And while you're at it, copy and paste this episode link and share it with three friends. Now on to the episode. Hey, it's Emily Williams, the founder of I Heart My Life and your host of the I Heart My Life show. This is episode 215, how to understand the quiet urges of your soul with Serena Dyer, Pisoni and Sage Dyer. So today's a really special episode. I have the daughters of the incredible spiritual teacher and author Wayne Dyer here with me today. They're talking all about their new book called the Knowing Now. This book was inspired by the work of their dad and the way in which they started to implement his work and practices after his sudden death in 2015. We all know that when something unexpected happens to us or when we enter into adulthood and start to experience challenges, it can be difficult to know how to navigate through that. And what Serena and Sage learned was that they actually didn't have to implement a lot of what their dad had taught them when they were children, but when got into adulthood, that's when they started to really practice what he had been preaching all of those years. They had some really incredible moments with connecting with their dad even after his death. And they talk about that in the book as well. They talk about the lessons he taught them even after he passed away. So today's episode is really powerful and important for anyone who's going through grief or dealing with an unexpected challenge. But it's also important for those of us just living everyday life and wanting to make sure that we're trusting in what is happening for us, not to us. I know you're Going to love today's episode, and I definitely want to make sure you go out and get the book that these incredible women have written. It's called the Knowing. We'll link it in our show notes. But I know that there's going to be so many takeaways. So go ahead, grab your favorite cup of coffee or tea, and let's dive in. This episode was sponsored by the I Heart My Life Mastermind. The I Heart My Life Mastermind is perfect for you if you already have a business and you're looking to scale. We cover tons of different topics. We cover marketing, strategy, revenue planning, team processes, everything you need in terms of mindset, high performance, really taking care of yourself as well as your business, events, publicity. We literally have seven coaches under one umbrella to support you and give you the answers to all of your burning questions. We host regular weekly workshops where you get your personal questions answered. We have retreats. You have a private Slack channel where you get to ask questions 24 7. You have an extensive resource bank that helps you put in place our cash method in your own business and much, much more. This is one of the most inventive programs around. I don't know anyone else offering the service that we provide, but so if you are interested in growing your business and transforming your life, definitely book a call with us. To learn more, go to iheartmylifebooking.com and learn more about the I Heart My Life Mastermind. Welcome to the I Heart My Life show. Serena and Sage, I'm so excited to have you here and spend this time together talking about your work as well as this incredible new book that you've written.

Thank you for having us.

Yes. Thank you so much.

Yeah, I'm so honored to have you here. And Serena, I know that you messaged me recently about being on the show and connecting, and honestly, I was just blown away to even see your name. I was like, is that for real? Is this spam or is she actually messaging me? Because I've been such a fan of your dad's for so long, and your dad is Wayne Dyer, as the audience probably knows. And he. He's been so influential in the work that I do and getting into the personal development space and really leading a life where I'm trusting and following my heart with every step that I'm taking. So it's an honor to have both of you here today.

Thank you.

And I'm so happy that you realized it was me and not spam.

Love it.

So let's just go one at a time. Here, Serena, can you share a little bit about your journey to becoming this author and doing this work in the world? Take us back to where it began and kind of the work that you do today.

Yeah, so in 2014, I actually published a book with my dad called don't die with your music still in you. And it was a book that we wrote together based on the spiritual principles that he and my mom had raised. Sage, myself and our siblings were two of eight kids, so we had a large family. And so it was really just about sharing stories and principles of growing up in a spiritual household. And after he passed, I found that the greatest comfort I had was actually in continuing to write. Sage had written a children's book with him before he passed, and she had the same thing that the feeling of a lot of comfort and connection with him through writing. And we sort of realized we were writing similar stories or similar experiences just from our different perspectives. And so we came together and created this book. And Sage could tell you how it was really her that got us going. Right?

Well, yeah. I mean, yeah, like Serena said, we were both being called to write the night my dad passed away. I couldn't sleep that night. Sleep just eluded me. And I found myself in my bathroom crying and writing on my computer because it was just what I felt called to do and brought me a lot of comfort. And, yeah, we decided to combine our work, but it actually came to a certain point where our lives just got in the way and both of us. Serena has three kids. I had started a business. I was in grad school. So we had started the book, and then we stopped, and life got in the way, and we weren't working on it anymore, but I found out that I was pregnant. I mean, it wasn't a big surprise. I knew what I was doing and that that could happen, but it still came as a big surprise. For even if that doesn't make total sense, I was sort of in shock and just really scared, actually, when I first found out I was pregnant. And I could go into that later, but I had a lot of guilt about that. And I bought into this notion that I had eight months left until I could never have a career again once I found out I was pregnant. So I said to Serena, that's it. We have to finish this book. Because we were so close to being done. We had just sort of lost our way. And I contacted the publishers we had been in contact with and the literary agent who had been helping us, and we ended up finishing the book. Well, at least really getting the ball moving in those eight months. And it's all thanks to becoming pregnant with my son, which, it turns out, isn't true at all. He's two years old now. I love him incredibly. He's the greatest gift. And I very much am able to have a career. So it was just this notion I bought into. That's not true. But it gave me the push that I needed to give us the push to get this book out there.

I love that there's so much we can go into with that because my audience is mostly women, and they're all driven, and there is that question mark around. Can I have both? Can I have it all? So I want to talk about that. But first, I'm curious to know, how did you guys even decide on the topic for the book? Were you completely aligned? Did you both have the same vision, or how did that come to be?

I would say that we were completely aligned, that we both wanted to share our experience, our experiences separately and together. So there wasn't a topic that we were going to pick to write about. It was really just telling the story of having to apply our dad's work, the lifetime of his teachings, really, to our lives as adults, as women, as mothers for the very first time. Because prior to his passing, we really hadn't had major bumps in the road or major catastrophes or challenges where we would be called to do some of the inner reflecting and the inner work that he spent so many years writing about. So we had a similar experience in that after he passed, his work became more relevant and we were sort of discovering it for the first time, which was ironic because he was no longer a phone call away to talk about what we had just, you know, kind of learned or read about. But it was also a gift in a way, because had he been here, we probably wouldn't have done that. We probably wouldn't have gone within. We probably wouldn't have been challenged to find the answers inside of ourselves, because we would have relied on him.

Yeah. And I can say for me, you know, we grew up with the parents we grew up with. We had a very open, spiritual upbringing. My dad very much, you know, walked the talk. So all the things he talked about in his talks, he parented us with, and so did our mom. And growing up, I would say that I personally was, you know, a believer in what they believed in and taught us, but I was also somewhat skeptical at times. A lot of that has to do with the fact that it just didn't apply to me yet. You Know, I was, when my dad passed away, I was 25 years old and I had had a wonderful life, pretty smooth sailing and hadn't had my faith or, you know, any of that. Question what am I really? What do I really think about all this? You know, I was young, so when my dad died, I found myself sort of at a crossroads of am I going to buy into this idea, this, be a skeptic of all his work and believe that, you know, I can't see him, I can't hear him, he's gone. And I was having a lot of fear based thoughts around all the never agains, all the should haves, all the could haves, just breaking down into like uncontrollable grief at times, just contemplating that I would never call him again, that I would never see him again, you know. And so I felt like then there came a point where I was like, okay, you can't call dad, but what would he say to you now? Because you can't go on like this. I was on like a cycle of just. It was unhealthy for me and I'm not. And grieving is important. I think we all go through that. So I'm not, there's no judgment around it. But I needed to become unstable, stuck, because I was stuck for a period of time. And so I thought, what would dad say to me if I could call him now? I have a lifetime of knowing him. What would be his advice? I mean, one of his favorite things to talk about was death and what happens, how it's just a shedding of the body, a change in energy, all of that. So I, I felt like I, I asked him and I said, okay, what would dad say to me? And I got the answer of I felt like he said to me in my mind, you could either make this the worst thing that's ever happened to you and you could go on telling yourself all the never agains, all the should haves, you can believe that I'm gone. Or you could just shift your way of viewing death and, you know, recognize what I've, what you've been immersed in your whole life, which is, he always used to say, you know, we come here with a round trip ticket, we celebrate the first leg of that trip for our whole lives. We celebrate our birthdays, we never question the birth of a child. We don't, you know, it's on time. We always believe that. But we tend to very much so question and fear the, the return ticket for ourselves or for our loved ones. And, and he taught Us not to fear that. I mean, he, Serena, could weigh in on this too. He was excited for what came next. And our mom talks that way too. And I, I felt like I, I was at a crossroads where I could embrace that or I could not. And ultimately I started to embrace the notion that my dad was still with me, but in another form, and that I could access him and that I could choose to believe that this was perfectly on time, divinely orchestrated. And once I started to think that way, the miracles and the signs and the synchronicities all started to show up and I started to feel very aligned and connected with my dad and. And that is what led to the writing. Sorry, that's a long answer. But because these amazing, incredible things started to happen that I was closed off to initially or prior to my dad passing away, I felt like I had to write them down because I was like, this is incredible. You know, I felt like I was living a whole new life and I had so much to learn, grow and share with others. And that's where the writing started.

Can you share some of the examples of some of the synchronicities that were the most powerful for you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So for. We wrote about some of these in the book. But for example, we kind of had a opportunity to. We were on a. We were going to a celebration of life for our dad. It was like a Hay House event that they were putting on. It was supposed to be his talk, but instead they were having all these different authors and speakers and such from Hay House come and do, like a way of honoring his life. And we were all there, we drove up for it, for it. And Sage happened to sit next to Hay House author, who's a medium, who's a psychic medium, Karen Noe. And Sage explained to Karen that she had had a dream and it felt real. And Karen confirmed for Sage that it was a real visitation based on a few of the factors. So anyway, long story short, Sage ended up making an appointment to go see Karen in person and have a full reading. So, of course, Karen was in New Jersey, Sage was living in New York. So of course my mom and my sister sky and myself just decided we had to be in New York that.

Same weekend, coincidentally visited me.

Yeah, so we crashed.

We crashed a two year waiting list to see her. And she squeezed me in because she felt like our dad, you know, changed her life and. Yeah.

Yeah. So we get to her office and at this time, I have a six month old daughter. Her name is Sailor. And my dad had met Sailor she was alive. She was born before he passed away. And we get to Karen's office, and I had left Sailor with a friend. And when we walk in, one of the first things she says to me is, congratulations, you're pregnant. Your dad is saying, you're pregnant. And I was like, no, I just had a baby. And I was kind of thinking, she has no, like, skill. She's not a gifted medium. She doesn't have the real gift. Because my dad would never confuse the daughter that he met with being pregnant. And I was like, no, I'm not pregnant. I haven't even hooked up with my husband that I could remember. There had been a few wine nights after my dad had passed because this was only one within. Within a month and a half of him passing. So so much of that time was like a blur. I didn't remember any, like, romance with my husband. I was still grieving profoundly. And so I was like, no, I don't even think it's possible as far as I can remember. Plus, I'm breastfeeding. I just had a baby. And she was like, no, your dad is. He's insisting you're pregnant. And he is saying, fireworks, Fourth of July fireworks. And I was like, I mean, we spent Fourth of July with him every year. We watched fireworks. Like, I was really kind of reaching, trying to, like, give her something because I was so convinced she was wrong. Anyway, she went on to say so many really personal things to each of us that nobody would have known from reading his books or Googling him or Googling us that we all knew she had the gift. And our dad was absolutely speaking through her. So when we left her office, we stopped and got a pregnancy test, and I was pregnant. And when I got back, I went and did the first. You know, the first appointment where they measure the embryo. And it's the most accurate. They give you your due date. And my due date was the 4th of July. And that was. Yeah, that was the fireworks reference. And then fast forward eight months from then. I was actually in labor at the hospital on the 1st of July. And literally, the nurses said, since this is a mostly female audience, he said, I can just say I was literally pushing. And Sage says, serena, I know that you're really tied up right now. Sage was with me while I was pushing. And Sage is like, but Karen know he's calling. And I was like, answer it. And Karen says, she's the medium. And she says, your dad was insisting I call Serena right now, but he said, serena's tied up. So I Could get through to Serena if I called you. Sage, is Serena in labor? And Sage said, yeah, she's, like, pushing right now. And she said, you, dad is just sending confirmation that he's there. He's with you all. He's supporting you and sending you love. And, of course, I just, you know, was. Started crying and just to know that he was there. And, I mean, that's an incredible example through a medium, but there had been so many others that we have had. Not through a medium, just. Oh, go ahead.

I. No, I was going to say I could share one, too. When my dad was alive, and my mom as well, he was very into numbers and synchronicity through numbers and repeating numbers and things like that. And so, you know, one of his favorite numbers was the number 18, because it stood for one infinity or one infinite source. Today happens to be the 18th, actually. But he also. The summer before he passed away, he was really into seeing the clock at 11:11. And he would. We were all instructed to let him know if we saw the clock at 11:11, things like that. He had this thing with his Social Security number and my mom's Social Security number and how they aligned and sort of told the story in their life. And he was just always looking at numbers. And when he passed away, the date was August 30th. And I remember thinking, okay, dad, if. You know, I was. I was challenging him. I said, if you really. If this is all divinely orchestrated, you wouldn't have just died on any old day. There would be some meaning in it, you know. And so I tried to find meaning in just the numerology of August 30th, and I couldn't find anything, and none of us could, and nothing that blew me away enough anyway. But I eventually discovered the meaning behind August 30th, and it's pretty incredible, basically. So when my dad was alive, his father left his family when he was born, so he never met his father. He just walked out on him. And my dad was the youngest of three boys, so now a single mom in the 1940s, that him and his brothers ended up in foster care and orphanages because she couldn't afford to take care of three small children by herself, and she eventually got them back together. But my dad grew up always curious about his father and also always very angry about his father, angry at his father. And he. As he got older, he would have nightmares about finding him and beating him up and fighting him and screaming at him. And he just carried around this resentment in his heart for this man who was his father, because he thought, how could you walk out on my mother when she needed you? How could you walk out on me and my brothers when we needed you? And it was very much a theme in his life and something that weighed on him. And when he was in his 30s, his mid-30s, he found out that his father had died, and he had actually died a few years before, and my dad had still been searching for him. And so he had been dead for a few years. You know, the search had been pointless at a certain point, but he eventually, through a series of really crazy coincidences, discovered where his father was buried. So he decided to visit the grave. And I was reading the book, I Can See clearly now, which is my dad's memoir, after he passed away. So I was looking for the meaning behind August 30th, and then I wasn't finding it, but I was reading his book. And I get to the part where he's talking about this. And so he goes to the grave, and he goes there with the intention of literally pissing on his father's grave, screaming at him, doing all the angry stuff and getting out his anger. So he does all of that, and he turns to leave and walk back to his car. And as he's getting back to his car, he described it in his own words as like, this overwhelming, overpowering feeling to turn around and go back to the grave. So he listened. It's, you know, almost like his knowing was speaking to him in that moment. He turned around and he went back, and he just all of a sudden felt overcome with love, with the emotion of love and forgiveness for his father. And he spoke the words out loud. From this moment on, I send you love. I send you only love. I forgive you. You know, I understand. You're a human being. You did the best you could, you know, and just a total shift in his perspective on his father and his relationship with his father. He wrote about this. And I can see clearly now. And in his own words, he says, if you were to ask me the most significant experience of my life, it would be the date that the events that happened on August 30th of 1976. 6. And when I read that, I stopped. I couldn't believe it, because he passed away on August 30th. And I had been looking for the meaning behind this, because for our dad, after he forgave his father at his gravesite, his life took off, his career took off. He wrote his first book. He got in out of a relationship that wasn't serving him into a new relationship. It's how we all got here. You know, he moved. His whole career in life took on a different meaning. When I read that that took place on August 30, I. I mean, I couldn't believe it. I called everyone in our family, and I said, I discovered it. I discovered the meaning behind August 30th. For some reason, it was important to me to discover it, and I knew that there had to be something. I don't know if anyone else was searching for it the way that I was, but. And I took it to mean, you know, I was like, what is he saying to us by choosing that date to leave? And I took it to mean him saying, you know, August 30th is not the date that your relationship with your father ends. It's the date that your relationship with your father changes to take on a whole new meaning in the same way that his relationship with his father changed on that day and took on a whole new meaning, because that's exactly how he describes it in his own words. And I found so much comfort in that discovery and in that knowing, because, you know, like I said, I was skeptical. And these were in the early days, and I just felt like that, to me, is too powerful to ignore. And it. So these are the sorts of things I started to write down, you know.

And it sent you on a path as well, and started to get you into looking at his work in a different way and really starting to absorb it. And it probably changed your life. You know, that day changed your life in every way.

In every way.

And I.

And I very much feel that my relationship with my father still exists. I mean, I find myself laughing at things he would say in my head, or I feel his love and his presence all the time. I don't even question that anymore. And, yeah, it's a date that marks. You know, of course I would do anything to get my dad back, but at the same time, it's a date that marks where I. I kind of grew up, but in a beautiful way. You know, I have compassion for other people in a way that I didn't before. And I've just discovered life has more meaning to it. And, you know, you. You start to contemplate your own death, but if you do it in a certain way, you. I think it encourages you to live more in these years. Not. Not. Not fear the date, but just embrace your life. So it's been. Yeah, I mean, it marks a big shift in my life, for sure. And all Serena's as well.

Thank you for sharing that. So, Serena, I'm curious to know who you would say this book is for, because from my perspective, obviously there's a lot in there for people who are grieving. We even did a incredible podcast episode with one of my team members who lost her dad to Covid last year completely. You know, it was out of the blue for her. And so she's been processing a lot and trying to tune in with, you know, what are the right next steps for her and how does she handle it. So can you share a little bit more about who you feel this book is for?

I would say it's absolutely for somebody that's grieving. I would say it's for somebody that is a parent or wants to become a parent because there's so much in there about how we were raised with spiritual parents and now how as mothers ourselves, we're choosing similar or the same path. But let me just say about the. The teammate of yours, that co worker that lost her father to Covid. Her father. Right.

Yeah.

So I had a. Because I know you, you didn't get the book yet. So I know you don't know this, but I didn't just lose my father. In 2015, I lost my father. My husband was indicted, arrested for white collar type crime related to his business. All of our assets were frozen. I got pregnant again. I then lost my stepson. My husband had been raising his only son as a single parent his entire life. Had full custody, the whole thing. And I was his stepmom for the last nine years of his life before we got married. You know, I say I was a stepmom. I wasn't technically a stepmom until we got married, but it didn't matter. We all lived together. I lost him, and he was a teenager and he died of an accidental drug overdose. And then my husband was sentenced to seven years in prison for this white collar crime. And then the sentence was lifted because the whole story, I explained it in the book, but basically the government admitted they withheld evidence and lied during the trial. But the amount of ups and downs and roller coasters and new life because I had three babies in that time and life lost, that I experienced was enormous and enough to bring me to my knees time and time again and ask myself, why is all of this happening to me? Why is all of this showing up in my life? When you're raised in a spiritual household, you are encouraged to understand that life is not happening to you. It is responding to you. Or in other words, that you don't Just get what you want, you get what you are. And I had this extreme guilt and shame because I was thinking, if you get what you are, I must be bad, because all of these bad things keep happening. What am I doing to attract all of this, to align with all of this? And it made the guilt and the shame and the fear ten times worse. But it was honestly through getting to the point of understanding that if I believe that my dad came to this earth on time and left on time because we live in a divinely orchestrated universe where there are no accidents, then how could I not apply that same belief to losing my stepson? And I had to make a choice. And it was a really big choice, choice to make that I think impacted my entire life and probably will impact me for the rest of my life. And that choice was to look at everything that happened and to say what I was doing was believing that once everything in my life fell into place, once all of the pieces were, like, put back together, then I could have peace. And I was raised to know it is the opposite. I have to find the peace within, and then all of the pieces will fall into place. And it was the same thing in losing my stepson, who was not 75 years old, lived a full life and had a health thing that kind of just took him quickly. It was in all aspects of his death. It was an accident. And when somebody dies unexpectedly or young or as a result of an accident, I think it is so easy to believe that it was not their time. And I had to get to a place where I understood. Like Ram Dass said, we are all just walking each other home. And Mason's time on earth, his time in the classroom, which is what we. We call it here, you know, our. Our human experience is where we come to learn. His time here was meant to be 19 years. He needed less time than I would have liked. But he went back home. And I will go there, too. And my dad is there, and everybody that lives goes home. And it is so easy to believe that somebody died an accidental death and that it is not divinely orchestrated. But it wasn't until I connected with that part of me that knew that Mason came and left in the time that his soul needed. It was when I could understand that and come from that place that I felt the connection to him that I had been seeking and that I could abandon the guilt and the shame and I could actually understood that these things that had. That had happened in my life were not bad. They were opportunities to get me closer to God. Closer to my highest self, closer to who I wanted to be. And that the choice was. Was there for me. Because nobody will ever know for sure that, you know, nobody is ever going to be able to prove for sure that somebody died and it was an accident versus somebody died and it was. God just kind of like gives favors to some people and revokes cures from others, you know, pulls people out of life when he went on a whim. Nobody's going to ever know for sure that somebody died when they were supposed to or when they were not. Right? We're never going to have proof of that. But which way of looking at life and death brings you closer to peace, closer to God, closer to love? And I would say pick the one that does that, because that is where your loved one is. And if you want to experience them, if you want to feel them, if you want the signs from them from the other side, you have to become like what it is you are seeking. And you do that by choosing love, choosing joy, choosing peace. Even in the midst of the grief and the pain, and choosing to look at it as though something bigger than us is moving to pieces. And even though we. We might not know why, and we might have such doubt, we can always choose to believe that there is something bigger than us at play here. And one day, hopefully, we'll know why. But until then, we have the choice to choose the view, the path that brings us closer to peace, to God.

Thank you for sharing that. That's so powerful. And I feel like not only can that viewpoint and everything you just described help people who are grieving, it also even helps someone like me, where I have a lot of balls in the air right now. I have a lot of things changing in my company. I have a huge vision. Sometimes it feels like it's not happening as it's meant to. It's not happening fast enough. But like you said, you can choose to feel that peace in the moment where it feels like there's chaos. And in fact, that's the only way to have that transformation. That's the only way to. To create what it is that you're looking to create and to just really tune in and create that for yourself instead of waiting for it to come to you.

Right? Yeah, exactly. Because we always do that. We all, not all, but most of us have a tendency to say, like, when I have a better boss, when I have lost the 15 pounds, when my husband and I get a divorce, or when we have a baby, or when I have a million dollars in the bank, then I'll be happy, then I'll be at peace. And it's completely the opposite. It's have the peace now and come from there. And then you will have the million dollars, the baby, the new boss, the whatever you have to become like what it is you are seeking. It's the only way the universe works.

Yeah, it actually makes me think of my experience with a similar, totally different thing, but just that led me to a similar line of thinking. I touched on it at the beginning of this podcast that, you know, so we've all heard the quote, there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. I've heard that a million times. It's from the DOW to Ching. It never really resonate. I mean, I don't know, you know, you hear it. But there was one day that it hit me what it meant, and I was. Like I said, I found out I was pregnant with my son and I was stuck and I was married and I was very much in a position to have a baby and it was all good. But I just. As soon as I found out I was pregnant, all I could think about how was how my life was going to be over. In a sense, the life that I knew was ending. I would never travel unencumbered again. I would have nothing in common with my friends. I just was thinking all of these thoughts, and a big one too, is that I would never have a career and just held me down. I wasn't even letting myself enjoy this idea that I was growing a life that, you know, that I eventually got there. But at the beginning, I was stuck very much in these negative thoughts. And, you know, throughout the pregnancy, I shifted my thinking and I became open to the idea that this was going to be an exciting and beautiful time and. But I didn't fully get there and embrace it until my son was born and I discovered that I was, you know, that I was extremely happy after a little bit of time, you know, that, you know, it's hard at the beginning, but over time I realized that, wow, I thought this was something that was going to be such a burden and it's been such a blessing. And I remember I was sitting with him and I thought of that quote or I heard it and, you know, there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. And it made me realize that, you know, this idea that I had bought into that my happiness lied in staying without children and unencumbered and traveling and being, you know, I live in New York City, so continuing to live that life of a 29, 30 year old in New York, doing whatever I wanted. That wasn't the way to happiness. And becoming a mother was also not the way to happiness. Happiness is the way. You know, I bring the happiness to any situation that I'm in. And, and therefore it is a happy situation. It's a happy. I, I find being a mother to be so thrilling and so beautiful and happy most of the time. I mean, look, it's not all rainbows and butterflies, but. But I also find that when I get to do things like this and do interviews and write our book and focus on my career, I bring the happiness to that. And it made me also reflect on this idea that, you know, I think so much in life, people ask you, did you, have you found your purpose? Are you living your purpose? What's your purpose? And since becoming a mother and writing this book, I realized that I really don't like that question or that line of thinking because I think that it puts into a box this idea that at some point in your life you have to find your purpose and it's going to be one thing that you find. And, and if you haven't found it yet, like, what are you doing with yourself? You know, if you're in your 30s or your 40s or your 50s and you still haven't found it, you might start to feel worthless about that. And I've just, I shifted that on its head for myself, and it's made a huge difference. I like to think of it as we can find a purpose in everything that we're doing, you know, each and every day you can find a purpose. When I'm being a mother to my son, there's a purpose in that, you know, a big purpose. And when I'm working, writing this book, doing interviews and so on, there's a big purpose in that, too. And you can find purpose in the smallest of things that you do each and every day. It's, you know, and as you get older and let's say you retire, you don't become purposeless. There's a purpose in that part of your life, too. And there's a purpose when you're a child. And, and I like to think of purpose and happiness sort of synonymous like that. Something that you can tap into and find in every day, anything that you're doing and.

Right. And just to touch on what Sage is saying, it's like, what it really boils down to is that what you bring into what you experience, the lens through which you experience your life, is up to you. It is an inside job. And I can tell you that the reason our dad's life changed so dramatically when he forgave his father is because, you know, they say holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting somebody else to die. He was doing that. He was poisoning himself inside when he shifted that when he made the decision to replace that anger with love and forgiveness, he created the space within himself for love and forgiveness to exist. When. When we were kids, our dad used to say to us, if you are not generous when you are poor, you will not be generous when you are rich, because generosity has nothing to do with your circumstances and everything to do with your nature. Or as the Tao Te Ching says, the sage, not her. But the sage is kind to. Kind to the kind and kind to the unkind, because kindness is his nature. And we were raised on that idea that we have a choice to make. We get to pick what our nature is. We get to pick the energy that we bring to every experience. Whether it's losing someone unexpectedly, whether it's having every aspect of your life, you know, sort of the rug pulled out from under you, whether it's having a lot of balls in the air and juggling a lot with changes that are happening in a business or a marriage or having children, the energy that we bring to that situation determines the outcome and our experience. And I can just say this. As you mentioned in the beginning, Emily, I reached out to you on Instagram, and I had reached out to several people, several individuals whose podcasts I listened to or who. Who I knew were doing similar work, because I was trying to get the word out about this book. And Sage is nine and a half months pregnant, having a baby. Maybe today she's having contractions. So I really took it upon myself to kind of get this book out there. But not. Not everybody wrote back, and not everybody was generous back, but you were. And some people were. And it said so much to me that you not only wrote back, but you then introduced me to several other people whose podcasts you know and who. Who are friends of yours who do this similar work. Because you just wanted to share the platform. You just wanted to share the message. Generosity is your nature. So I feel very strongly that you will always be successful, because when generosity is your nature, the universe meets that. And I have been wanting to tell you that because it struck me as so true. There are people who, no matter what it costs them, no matter what it takes, they believe in something or someone and they will just get behind you because they can't Help but be generous. And not everybody is like that, even though they talk about it on stage. So thank you for that.

Thank you. You're definitely touching me right now. I've cried so many times already on today's episode, which is not rare. I am a crier. But you. Those words really mean so much to me. And it's actually something I've really been tapping into lately about myself, my desire to give and to create beautiful experiences for people and to be generous. And I think it's also part of that abundant mentality that we talk about within our company. You know, I want to introduce you to as many people as possible, even though if they're so called competitors or they have a similar podcast, because why not? Your message needs to go to as many people as it can possibly go.

To, and that is that when our dad creates.

Go ahead, say that abundance isn't something that you acquire in life, and it's not something that you go out and find and work so hard to get. It's something that you tap into. You know that there's an ocean of abundance available to all of us. And you can either go each day to that ocean and you can take a dropper full out and squeeze one little drop into your hand and barely make it through the. Through the day, the month, the year, or you can go there every day with a dump truck and fill yourself with this abundance. And it's. It's an energy field that you can tap into, and it's a mindset, like talking about all of it.

Yeah. And it's. Yeah, exactly. And it is an inside job, and it is a choice. And I cannot tell you how. I'm not going to name any names, but there are people that I know my dad got them the leg up that they were looking for, that he endorsed them when their career was just starting, that he supported them. And they have been silent or said, maybe down the road or, I'll get back to you. And there are other people who have been like, your dad's work touched me. I will do anything to help you, to support you, because abundance, generosity is their nature.

And it's like the. Our dad used to say that the prayer of St. Francis. You know, it's not just a prayer. It's a technology. You know, it starts with, lord, make me an instrument of thy peace. So you're not going to the Lord or the universe and saying, give me peace, Give me peace. I want peace. You say, make me peaceful. Make. Let me tap into peace. Make me an instrument of Your peace. And therefore, you will bring into peace. So, you know, you get in life what you are, not what you want. It all just goes right along with that.

Yeah.

So. Yeah. My question for you, Serena, is you've shared so many amazing teachings from your dad. Is there one thing that he taught that's really affecting you or touching you right now more than anything? Because I'm sure at different chapters, various things have supported you.

Yes. And that one thing is that, as I said, I'm a mother. I have three little kids. They're six, four and two. And I had three and three and a half years. So obviously, so much of my energy right now is focused on being a mom. And the thing that my dad taught me that has impacted me more than anything else is that he did not ever say, go out and follow your dreams, honey, while I have sacrificed my own or believe in yourself. Even though I've stayed in a relationship that was unhappy or I've never believed in myself my dad believed in himself and believed in his dreams and went out and fulfilled his dharma, fulfilled what he came here to do. Even if it meant having to miss out on some things or even if it meant having to, you know, not be there for our 10th basketball game of the season or see us in our third play that year. Sometimes he missed out on things. But as his child, I saw someone who was unwilling to give up on their own Dharma, on their own dreams. And I very strongly believe that that subconsciously gave me permission to do the same. That seeing him go after what he felt called to do I saw how him doing that, him honoring his calling changed millions of people's lives. And he was not saying, I believe in you, honey. Go follow your dreams, and I'm going to sacrifice my own. He said, I'm going to follow what I came here to do. And in seeing that, you know, sometimes what parents say is wonderful, but what they do is so loud you don't even hear what they're saying. And so often people will say, follow your passion. Follow your dreams. And they say that to young people, hoping that that gives them some kind of encouragement, but that doesn't give them anything but just empty words. Show up in your own life, fulfilling your own dharma, and all of the younger people will see you as somebody who didn't take no for an answer. Somebody who wasn't willing to sacrifice themselves for anything. And I think that for me, me as a parent, that means that I'm doing what I feel called to do. And I really hope that my children See a parent, see a mother who. Who has given them some kind of silent permission to also do the same for themselves, to not take no for an answer, to understand that they don't have to sacrifice anything. They just have to go after what they love. And I am demonstrating that firsthand. So that would be, like, the greatest thing I think he. He gave me, at least right now in this part of my life.

I love that. Thank you for sharing.

Yeah.

You know, they say your children do what you do, not what you say. And I find that to be very true at the moment. With a toddler, you know, I tell them to be nice to our dog, but if I yell at the dog because he had an accident, well, then guess who's yelling at the dog later in the day, you know, doesn't matter how many times I say, be gentle, be gentle. And that's just a simple example of what Serena is saying that is so true. You know, be the example for. For not just your children, but for everybody in your life. Bring that love, that light into every room you walk into, and you'll see it has a ricochet effect on. On the people you're around. Children, adults alike.

So beautiful. So the final question we always ask our guests here at the I heart my life show is, what is one way you recommend people create a life that's better than their dreams?

Yeah, I would.

I can answer that. Go ahead. Sorry. No, I was just gonna say I. I remember being in the car with my dad one time, and the song I hope you dance by Leanne Womack came on the radio. I think most people have heard that song. If you haven't. It's a beautiful song. It's full of a lot of poignant advice and lines about, you know, never fear those mountains in the distance. And when you get the chance to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance. Anyway, my dad said, I want you to listen to this whole song. I love this song. This is a great song. Listen to this whole song. And there's only one line in the song that I would disagree with. I want you to see if you can figure out which one it is. So we listened to the song in the car, and I don't think I figured it out, but at the end, he said to me, when she says in the song, she says, I hope you never settle for the path of least resistance. He said, that's the only line I disagree with, because you should always take the path of least resistance. When life is offering you resistance, you should take a look at that, you know, there's you. You're fighting a losing battle often when you're just going against the flow. And I have tried to bring that in my life. I try to remember that every day. You know, am I. Am I going with the flow flow right now or against the flow? It's an idea of surrendering to your circumstances, but not viewing that as giving up and instead viewing it as saying yes to the universe. And I try and bring that into my life, and it's made such a difference. Like when I find myself agitated or in turmoil about my circumstances, if I can just stop and say, hang on, just go with the flow right now, um, it makes a difference in my whole day and in my whole life, you know, so that's what I try. And that's my, my advice to anyone right now. Just go with. With the flow.

Love it. How about you, Serena?

Yeah, I would say something similar, which is, you know, a lot of times when we sign our book, we'll sign it love and all green lights. And I've had a couple people ask us, I'm like, what does that mean when you sign it all green lights? And it means almost exactly what Sage was saying. Pay attention to the green lights when things are happening easily for you. When suddenly the right amount of money that you needed or the phone call that you were waiting for, or the perfect employee starts showing up. Pay attention to when you find yourself going with the flow, facing all the green lights, because that is universal energy telling you you're on purpose, you're on the path of least resistance. And just to. To wrap it up, we were raised on this, this nursery rhyme that everybody knows, Row, row, row your boat. But we were taught that it is a metaphor for life. Row, row, row your boat. You row your own boat. Nobody is doing the rowing for you. And you can't have not rowed the right way because your boss, because your mother in law, because your ex boyfriend. You row your boat gently. Be gentle in life. Gentle is like reverence for life. Understanding that we're all connected, that we all have some kind of dharma or purpose. Find the love in.

In that.

Do it gently down the stream. Always go with the flow. Don't try and fight going upstream. You're gonna lose that battle. It's the same thing I had to understand for myself when I was finding myself with obstacle after obstacle after obstacle. What am I resisting? What is this here to teach me? Can I see this differently? Can I change the way I am looking at all of this? And therefore all of this will change. And I did. And. And it made all the difference in the world. You have within you your inner Tahiti. I call it my inner Maui. It's your inner place of peace. And it is always available to you, but you must go to it. That's. That's. That's the crux of the book right there, that the knowing. The island of peace is there. It's available. It's the lighthouse. It always leads you home in the dark, in the darkest of nights, in the heaviest of storms. You're knowing guides you home. But you must open your eyes to see it, to feel it, to follow it.

Thank you both so much. This has been incredibly powerful. I feel like I could talk to you all day, but we'll leave it here. I know the audience has so many takeaways, and it's just so grateful. And I personally feel like this is one of those moments where. Where I'm so glad that I followed my heart and started this show and put myself out there. And your dad was definitely a big inspiration to me and all of those areas. So just thank you so much for your time and for your wisdom and for writing this. I know what goes into writing a book, especially collaboration and putting your heart on the line. So thank you so much for being here and for everything you're doing in the world.

Thank you. And thank you for your generosity.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're so welcome. We'll link the book for everyone, but is there anywhere where people can find you? For example? Website. Instagram.

Yeah. Both of us. I'm sagedyer.com. my name is spelled S A J E because my parents wanted to make my life more difficult. So s a j E-Y-E-R.com or on Instagram. Sage Dyer. And I get back to almost everyone. I try to anyway.

And we're both on Facebook and I'm on Instagram too. Serenadyer psoni or serenadyer.com but we're on all the social medias and all that, so we always respond.

Amazing.

Yeah.

Thank you both. So excited to see what's next for you and good luck with the baby Sage.

Literally any day now. Literally. Thank you.

Thank you.

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