Your Desires Aren’t Unrealistic (You’re Just Not Living From the Right Version of You Yet)

This is the I Heart My Life show. A space for choosing yourself, living intentionally and never settling. I'm Emily Williams. I want to start this episode, and also this year, 2026, by naming something I see all the time in my work, in my community, and honestly, sometimes.

In my own life.

It's the belief that our desires are unrealistic.

That they're too much, too big, too disruptive.

No, not practical.

Not for this season, not for this.

Chapter, not for us.

And I want to say this clearly right out of the gate. Your desires are not unrealistic. In fact, if you have the desire, especially if it keeps returning, keeps coming.

Back, you can't stop thinking about it.

That's usually a sign that it's possible and meant for you. Desire is not random.

In fact, many of you have probably heard on tons of episodes over the past seven years that I actually believe our desires are truth. Our desires are dropped in. They're actually meant for us and possible because we feel them, because they exist. But here's the piece that most people miss, and. And this is where things actually start to get really interesting. Just because a desire is meant for you does not mean you're currently the version of you who can actually hold it. I'm going to say that one more time. Just because a desire is meant for you and possible does not mean you're currently the version of you who can hold it. So let me give you an example. Years ago, when I decided to start a business or when I decided to start a podcast, I wasn't yet the version of me who could hold those things. That didn't mean that the desire wasn't real and that it wasn't possible for me. It just meant I got to become the version of me and create a new identity who could actually hold and sustain those things. It takes me back to when a coach told me years ago that it's never about the desire. It's never about the money or the.

Thing that you want.

It's about who you become in the.

Process to the thing.

And so even if you're not currently the version of you who can hold the desire, that's not a failure.

That's actually how it's supposed to be.

Now, the truth is, is that most of us have been taught that desire means go get it now, manifest it, make it happen today. But most of the time, the desire doesn't show up because you're already ready. It shows up to make you ready. And if we're looking closely and we're willing to do the work. It reveals the gap between who you've been living as and who you're being asked to become. So, for example, you aren't born knowing leadership skills. As you grow your company or you step into a higher level of work and career. You are being asked to become the next level version of you so you can hold that next level. You have the capacity to receive everything that comes with that next level. But the issue is, most people get stuck right here and they assume the desire is the problem. They don't even get to the transformational piece. They literally just shrink their desire.

They rationalize it, they postpone it, they explain it away.

This is why so many people come.

To me and they tell me the.

Frankly BS excuse that they don't know what they actually want, which is absolutely not true. They've just suppressed it because they aren't yet the version of themselves that can actually hold this desire. The desire is not asking to be questioned. It's asking, are you willing to grow into me? But again, this is where that waiting comes in. We think we need to wait until we're fully ready or until the idea is fully formed, or the clarity is 100% here. And frankly, waiting feels responsible. It feels mature. Right? It feels grounded. If you've ever said to yourself, I just need more clarity. I just need more time. I'll know when I'm ready. We've all been there. But that's just a delay tactic. And that's the. And there's a truth here most people don't actually want to admit.

Waiting is often just a form of fear. We tell ourselves it's us being patient, but it's that part of you that actually wants certainty before choice. You want proof it's going to work before you decide so you don't look like an idiot. So people don't question your sanity. You want the safety before the expansion. You want the permission before the self trust. And the problem isn't that waiting feels bad. The problem is because over time it becomes a way of living. And the issue with that is, even if we're waiting, we're always choosing. We end up delaying the life we actually want. We succumb to other people's needs. We stay in the same identity over and over and over. You cannot create a new life while remaining attached to an old version of yourself.

Right.

I'm going to say that again. You can't create a new life while remaining attached to an old version of yourself. So where does this fit in to 2026?

I saw this so clearly, when I was doing my own annual visioning for 2026, and before I share that story with you, if you are looking to do your own visioning and get clear on what you truly want for 2026, it's as simple as literally doing a brain dump. Writing everything down on paper that comes to you in terms of your desires and starting to create a desires list for yourself. Now, I walk you through this whole process in my course life by desire, which is actually pay what's aligned. You can definitely jump into that and it's a really supportive tool for this process. And for today, for this episode, just consider some of those things that may be on your list. Bring some to mind and you can even jot some down. If you have a pen or paper or something to type with, think about the things that you want. That's exactly what I did. I wrote out everything I want for my health, for my family, for the way I want to work, the home environment I want to have, the money I desire to make the impact I want to have. None of it was a surprise to me. I do this work all the time. It's what I live. But what landed for me in a new way was something a coach reflected back to me. It really honestly stopped me in my tracks and really inspired this whole episode. The coach said, these desires aren't unrealistic. They're just incompatible with the version of.

You that you're still partially living from.

I'm going to say that again. These desires aren't unrealistic. They're just incompatible with the version of.

You that you're still partially living from. And that coach was right. There were things on my list that I desired to happen, but I need to become a different version of myself for those to come to fruition again. It's not that they're impossible. It's just these desires are asking me to release old expectations, old habits, old.

Ways of holding responsibility, old boundaries that are no longer serving me. The desires are asking me to lead differently, to show up differently, to develop a new way of thinking in terms of my mindset. And this is the shift I want you to hear. Desire is not demanding. It's really an initiation into your next level of self. It shows you where your capacity needs to grow, where your identity needs to evolve, where you're being invited into a more honest version of yourself. So I want you to take a look at those desires and ask yourself, who would I need to be to hold this, to step into this, to bring this to life? Not Is this realistic? Is this possible? Can I do this? That's a surface level question. We need to go deeper here. Because the moment you even ask that question, you're no longer waiting.

You're stepping into alignment, you're stepping into next level self, next level identity. So if there's something you keep wanting.

And you keep telling yourself it's too.

Much, too soon, or not practical, again, I want you to consider this. Especially for this new year when so much is possible for you, everything is possible for you. Consider that maybe the desire is not unrealistic. Maybe it's just incompatible with the version of you that's no longer meant to lead. And maybe this year it's not about pushing harder.

Maybe you just get to stop waiting and start choosing your next level self. Ask yourself, who would I need to be to hold this? To hold this vision? And if you don't know that answer, look at people out there who are holding a similar vision. How are they showing up? We are in the world where there's so much transparency, there's so much available to us. You can see the path that someone has taken or is taking in the moment that it's happening. What an incredible gift. And in the process, don't forget to tune into yourself, your next level self. She already has the answer. Literally. Ask her, who do I get to be to hold this vision, to bring this to life, to bring this to fruition? Who do I get to be to hold this? That question alone has changed how I relate to my own desires. And I know it'll be really transformational for you too. I'm going to talk more about how this shows up around money and leadership next week. And again, if this is something you want to go deeper with, check out Life by Desire. It's a really incredible pay what's aligned course. Also, you're always invited to become an I Heart My Life member. The doors are open. Join us to continue with this work of up leveling to your next level self. I'll talk to you next time.