Becoming Comfortable with Your Words

Overcoming stage fright, or better said, becoming comfortable speaking your words. Listen, I want to tell you something very, very clear. I used to be absolutely terrified of public speech speaking. Really, truly terrified. If you called me and you asked me to give a talk, I would tell you absolutely that I had an elective root canal to do that day. And that's when you would say you hadn't even told me what day it was. And I would tell you, I'm going to move the root canal so I don't have to do the talk. I hated public speaking. I was absolutely terrified of it. But here's the deal. I want you to know that when I look at my life, the before and after, one of the greatest gifts I gave myself was to overcome that fear and, and then become comfortable with speaking my word. And this has a huge amount of practical application as a speaker, but also as a person. It makes it better to be a parent, it makes it better to be a friend. It makes it better to just be at a networking event with parties when you can feel comfortable with communicating effectively. So I want to share some tips with you that can help you to tame the butterflies or maybe get them to fly in formation together so that you can feel ever more comfortable about going on stage. Tip number one, breathe. Okay, that may seem like kind of a useless tip because I doubt you forget to breathe for very long, very often. But it's not just breathing, it's breathing the right way. You see, what most people do when they're afraid is they breathe. Fear breathing. How does that work? It's like. And then very shallow breathing. This is a multi million year experiment. I mean, look, if you're being stalked by a lion or a grizzly, you better breathe quietly. And so we've learned to breathe quietly. But the problem is when you breathe shallowly like that, you raise your stress chemicals and you retask your thought processes and you become less effective. Here's another one. The way you use your eyes, if you are deeply focused on something or somebody, then that is an adrenaline creating activity. If you gaze at the audience rather than staring at them, if you gaze at them, then you will relax. You will relax and feel good. And by the way, whoever told you you should imagine them naked, it's not a good idea. I don't think that's a great way. I mean, if you're, you know that that could actually make you afraid. No, just gaze at the audience. Let them blur out. Don't stare at them. The more you relax your eyes, the more relaxed you will feel. And here's one more ultimate Black Belt skill. Never, not ever. Never ever tell or show. Demonstrate in any way to an audience that you're feeling nervous. And I know that that might sound inauthentic to you, but I want to suggest a different take, and that is this. There is actually nothing to be nervous about. Nobody's going to hurt you. Your life is not in any threat. But if you tell them you're nervous, when they come up to you later and tell you what a great job you did, you won't believe them and so you'll be nervous for the next one. Instead, walk on with some confidence, even if you have to fake it a little to make it, and show them that you are about to give them some great information. Breathe, relax your eyes and show some strength. Sa.