Criticism and Negative Feedback

Do you struggle with fear, doubt and worry in your public speaking? Do you find it difficult to connect with your audience and deliver presentations that leave a lasting, positive, unforgettable impact? If yes, then let's dive in the world of public speaking and presentation skills with your host, Eric Edmeads. Welcome to the Unforgettable podcast.

Criticism and negative Feedback. Let's talk about this, because, look, if you're going to put yourself out there, if you're going to stand on a stage, if you're going to aim a camera at yourself, if you're going to broadcast some stuff, the odds are there's going to be some criticism and negative feedback. So let's talk about that. The first thing I want to offer you is a complete reframe. When somebody offers you negative feedback, I want you to think of them as the free consultant that you didn't order. That's what they are. They're the free consultant that you didn't order. I don't know if they're a good consultant, I don't know if they're a bad consultant, but that's what they are. And it's not an attack, it's free consulting. And I want you to know that if there's any reason that I have become quite good at storytelling and presenting and being on stage, it's because I received so much feedback. And I received it with an open heart, good or bad, because I saw it all as consulting, free consulting. And so now I want you to think of it another way. Imagine you're getting some of this free consulting. Imagine some free consulting is coming your way and it's positive. Don't let it get to your head. It's nice to hear what worked, but it's also nice to understand that people want to make you feel good. So, you know, listen to it, take it on board. You know, underline it. If somebody says, I really love the way you told that story, great, it's good to hear. But now let's talk about the criticism, the negativity. If somebody offers you some, I want you to notice your emotional response. Does it really make you mad? Does it hurt you? Did it make you sad? Or was it a nothing? Now, if it was a nothing, the odds are they're way off the mark. The odds are they're way off the mark. If it was a nothing, if they said something negative and it didn't make any impact on you, then it was a nothing. You can delete it. You can say thank you to them for their attempt to help you. And then you can delete it if it hurt, if it caused an emotional response, then you probably need to dig a little into that, don't you think? So here's what happened to me. I did a video. Maybe you've seen it. It starts with me saying, stop, don't exercise. And the point of the video is to say that exercise, while good for you, is not a path to weight loss if you haven't first changed your relationship with food. And this video, well, my publisher used it in marketing and went on to get something like 10 million views. And. And one day I made a horrible and tragic mistake. I read the comments. I don't know what I was thinking. I just thought I'd look and you know, to be fair, I'm very lucky. Most of the comments were really generous and they were nice, but some of them not so much. And most of the ones that were negative, I took as a nothing. Somebody wrote on there, this guy doesn't know how to tell a story. I'm not really worried about that. I think I'm pretty good at that. It was a nothing. But then one kid, I imagine he was a kid because his username was something like, you know, nincompoop47incincinnati.com. I don't know where he was from or who he was, but I imagine him to be a dysfunctional teenager living in the basement of his parents house, stuffing his face with pizza and drinking down Coca Cola while he plays video games. I don't know who he really was, but that's the image I got in my head. And here's what he wrote. He got on his little keyboard, warrior stance and he wrote, I don't know why this guy's talking all about fitness. He doesn't look so fit to me. And it hurt. If it hurt, it meant something. And so I did the deep dive into why it hurt. And I realized it was true. For my age, I was doing pretty well. But I'm not here to represent my age. I'm here to represent possibility. And so from that day forward, I took on fitness programs that completely changed my entire body. I changed my body composition, I changed my muscle composition completely. And now I feel like I owe that kid some money because that free consulting was really valuable. Negative feedback and criticism is free consulting. See it that way. Discard what doesn't work and take on what does.

So that's it for today's episode of Unforgettable. Head on over to itunes or wherever you listen and subscribe to the show. One lucky listener every single week who posts a review on itunes will win a chance in the grand prize drawing to win a private $25,000 VIP day with Eric Edmeads himself. Be sure to head on over to Unforgettable show and pick up a free copy of Eric's gift and join us on the next episode.