160. Reclaim Your Energy With Physician Coaching

We need self trust and that self confidence, that permission to want what you want. We can be grateful of where we are and still want more. And invest in the help that will get you there faster, more efficiently. Are you a woman in medicine, feeling overwhelmed and disconnected from the personal fulfillment that you desire? You're in the right place. Join doctors Joanne and Erin as they rewrite the rules for women in medicine. Let's begin.

Women in medicine don't need more strength. They're already carrying entire systems on their backs. What they need, what we need, is support. And coaching is the lifeline no one ever told us about. If you've ever thought I should be able to handle this, then this episode is for you. Because handling it alone is exactly what's keeping so many brilliant women stuck. And once women physicians finally allow themselves true support, everything changes. Their energy, confidence, clarity, their entire lives. Joanne, I can't wait to interview you on this topic about having strength versus having support. And I would love to hear your perspective of why women physicians need more support.

Thank you, Erin. And this is what most people never say. Because as women in medicine, we're raised, we're trained, conditioned, programmed already to be strong, capable, independent. We're not supposed to complain. We're resourceful. It's that resiliency that can even go against us. We are the fixers, the caretakers, the responsible ones. And we believe that we can just do it all. And frequently, actually, we do. And when we hear those messages of be strong, stand up, fight for your rights, which are all very important messages, if we are not careful, what we hear is stay stuck in those patterns of go, go, go, work, work, work, do more. And those are the things that get us off balance, out of our sense of fulfillment, not present, not connecting well with ourselves and others. And that strength that can help us in one area can, can eventually become a cage and keep you away from other things that you really want. Because in medicine, especially for women, being strong really means caring more than everyone else. Say yes to everything. Never needing help is that four letter word that starts with an F that gets us in trouble. And I mean fine, not that other F word. Although sometimes that's how it feels. And we're just always performing. We are the emotional containers for everyone around us. And we end up feeling like we're the ones keeping it all together. And again, these are not bad things. These are incredible traits that allow us to do the things that we do. And so many women came before us to fight for those rights and equality and all those things we just need to be very careful because medicine is kind of that Lone Ranger game. And then we end up believing that we're just supposed to do it all all by ourselves and that if we need any kind of help, it means that we're weak or we're not doing it enough. And I'm speaking from my own experience as well. I say fine so many times. And then I've trained myself to ask, are you really? And it doesn't mean that it's. There's something wrong, which is, I think, what we end up believing. It's more of can a better question could be, would it be better if I had support? Would it be easier? Could I save my energy for something else if I am flexible here instead of believing that I'm supposed to do it all? So it's. We have to shift and pair it up with support, with really knowing where our limits are. And again, it's not the question of capacity and can you do it? It is more about where are you, where are your energy levels, what do you want in your life to keep that balance and would support connection, that really good tribe around you can actually make it better and easier for you.

I love that, Joanne, and I think challenging the status quo is something that you and I as coaches do all the time. And just actually, earlier this morning, I was challenging someone on, you're doing this chore. It takes you 45 minutes out of your workday. And I would bet 90% of it is administrative. It was getting the chart set up for the next day. And I said, you know, challenged about like, what if you asked your support team to do the 90% that they can do and you get to own the 10% you should own. What could that look like? That extra couple of hours a week and you multiply that every week you're running an office. And sometimes that little bit of support can be a game changer to allow you to show up and shine in those areas where you are struggling because you're spread so thin trying to do it all on your own.

Yes. I was talking with my women in. In the group and that is such a common topic that we women in coaching. Coaching. Sorry, I got a little distracted there. Than. It's. We talk about this all the time and it's so incredible. And when we're together and we're sharing that, it's like that the hearing, like, oh, yes, I do that too. And why is this a problem? And it's. These are the important conversations that we need to have.

Yeah. So Joanne, you and I have seen coaching as a lifeline. I'm sure our listeners have heard us talking about the coaching that we do and the coaching that we've experienced for ourselves and for our clients. Tell me about what coaching is and what it's not.

Love that question. And I'll start saying. I had one of my clients said something recently, and it was kind of like an aha moment for her, and she was talking about coaching, saying, you know, I've had coaches, like, workout coaches for a long time, and I'm always impressed of the things that I can do that I didn't believe I could because I've had a coach because I had someone push me out of my comfort zone and. And fix my moves and. And kind of dared me to do something a little bit harder because they believed in me. And then she said, and you are like that for my brain and my thoughts and my emotions. Like, you allow me to see things more clearly, to think about other options. And it's like my brain is more flexible and stronger now. Like, I have different thoughts and different emotions because I have a coach. I'm like, oh, my goodness. I went straight to my heart. It was such a beautiful compliment. And so that's kind of a good way to. To define coaching is you have someone and space to think clearly without all the million things that our brain has in the background. And a coach will help you also see your blind spots. I know. I experienced that myself. And. Right. Like I say, I've been a psychiatrist for 20 some years, and I've been personal development for almost as long and a coach for about a decade already. Right. So I do the work, and I need my coach to mirror back and say, hmm, I wonder if this is going on. Or this sounds like you're repeating this pattern. So I'm like, dang it. Yes, you're right. So it's that ability to see what. What you're missing, and that's. That can be a game changer. Just that it's also a container for emotional processing and to go deeper in your thoughts. Like, I like to. To use the analogy, like, you know, in the news when you're. You're. You're watching it and they're talking. And then there's the. Not the closed captions, but the headlines. Like, there's usually, like, a banner underneath. And I asked that question of, like, what is that banner underneath? What is that background thought that keeps on repeating, like, the headline of all your stories of everything that's going on. And it's it's good to have this space to really listen to those deeper questions and give yourself permission to find the answers with a person that you trust. And it's a safe place. So you. In, in life it's. Even if we are self coaching, it's easier to just let our brain distract us from someone else. And when you're coaching, when you're in your right, it's like being in a workout class. If you're, if you're by yourself, you're like, oh, I think I'm done, I'm going to stop. But if you're in a class, especially if it's a group class, you're like, okay, I guess I'll keep on going. Right? Which is why I love working out in groups because it's always so motivating. So group coaching and one on one coaching also gives you that benefit and it's a way to also reset your nervous system. And it, that can be done in so many ways. Coaching can be so powerful for that. I always say that especially for people in medicine than because we are, it's, it's hard for us to ask for help. Coaching is a beautiful kind of health promoting thing that it's not necessarily like, you know, in air quotes like asking for help because we, we have a hard time with that. And it's a collaborative process and you make decisions from a place of alignment and having full awareness of what are your priorities and your values. And then of course it serves as accountability and it's a catalyst for transformation. I don't know if I could be where I am in my life right now with all the big decisions I've taken in the last years and big steps without having done coaching myself. And even when I'm coaching, I'm also learning and I'm also holding myself accountable. So it can be so powerful. It's one of my favorite things. It's so, so important.

And so Joanne, you've shared some of the things that what coaching is and how it challenges us, I love also it helps us get to know ourselves because especially women physicians were always focused on others and when we're busy looking at them, we don't take the time. And some of those questions that we ask as coaches or that we're asked getting coached, it does some needs, some soul searching and it's good practice to get to know each other. I would love to hear also, what is coaching? Not.

Yes. And I think because I am a psychiatrist and I'm trained in psychotherapy and do coaching, I Get that question a lot, especially in comparison to. To therapy. And it's. That's where we start. It is not therapy. And I have that boundary very clear because as physicians who coach, if you think of your specialty, right, if you're an anesthesiologist and a coach, that's pretty clear. You're not practicing anesthesia when you're coaching. But for me, as a psychiatrist, training, psychotherapy, my tool are my conversations. So I am very clear in terms of where my boundary is. And it's something that's very important in a coach. Like you need to know. Like as coaches, we need to know where those boundaries are. And even though a lot of the tools in coaching actually come from psychotherapy, and in a lot of those theories, it's not meant to diagnose. It's not meant to treat any kind of mental illness, even though it can be supportive. And it's not meant to be digging into trauma or anything like that. We're not here to fix a problem or to tell you what to do or to even be a mentor or cheerleader. We are here to be, again, reflective. And we're also. It's more present and future focus instead of more symptomatic or past focus like psychotherapy and psychiatry can be. We are more focused in terms of goals and achievement outcomes. And I don't mean necessarily work. Your outcome could be. Outcome could be what you desire to be more peaceful or have more fulfillment. And we'll do that with a lot more clarity, momentum, and the identity shift and expansion that is required to get to those desired outcomes, which is so key in coaching. That's one of my favorite parts of the work I do in coaching is to help with that identity shift and beliefs that you need to really get to that place that, that you're going. And in talking about that, then we also talk about habits and mindset, and then we translate that into action. I was in a call, actually one of the group coachings that I participate in. We had a special guest and he used a really good analogy of saying in comparing kind of the therapy to coaching, he wasn't exactly talking about this, but I. I'm going to use the same analogy that he's saying. If you have an athlete, you can. And there. And something happened. You can train them, you can teach them the exercise exercises, you can even help them get to the physical movements they need. But then you'll get them ready to be in the field. And it is what they do in the field that will really translate into that Transformation, and I think coaching does that too, is that challenge into the action that will lead to those outcomes and the transformation. And it's really the best way to really get to that next level. Self. I always say if we can do better, it becomes a responsibility because everyone around us benefits. And that's how we change the world, to be cheesy. Like we say we can't change the circumstances, but by showing up better, that's how we really can create a ripple effect. And we never know what will happen down the road in terms of positive change. And it might be cheesy, but that's what I'm choosing to believe on purpose.

Yeah, I love that. And just like, you know, when you get that support, you know, not only do they help you get to that place, but I think they also, a coach can help you get there so much faster and with much less energy. You're not having to DIY it. You've got this expert who is trained and, you know, has the resources and tools to help guide you there. And so Joanne, you've talked a little bit about this, but I would love to know how can coaching help us?

So I'll say a few things that then we've talked about. So the first one is clarity in terms of your identity. We it's like our gps. You can set it up. Just giving it the information of where you are is not enough. Like you have to say where are you and where are you going? And then it'll give you a route. And you know what GPS does, if there's traffic or an accident or a detour, it'll show you a new way without judgment, without beating yourself up. It might take a little longer. It might be a route that you don't know, but it'll redirect you. So coaching helps with that as well. That identity, clarity of who you are now versus who you are becoming in the path that you'll take. Second thing, which is surprising, how much we need this, but we need self trust and that self confidence, that permission to want what you want. And I hope you hear this well because we do need to give ourselves permission to and we can be grateful of where we are and still want more and invest in the help that will get you there faster, more efficiently. Like you said, Erin, the third one, and I know this is not a popular word word, but emotional resilience and hear the word resilience in a positive way. It's not stretching beyond our bandwidth. It's flexibility and our ability to bounce back to grounded, to where we want to be with compassion and kindness and taking care of our nervous system. It also helps with boundaries. This is the work that we all need to protect what's important to us without guilt. And from there, then we'll have time and freedom to really get to the other things that are important. So it's not just work, work, work. And we'll do this with more confidence, more joy, more fulfillment, more harmony. And that's how we move forward. And coaching is definitely the kind of the fast train that you want to take to get there. And, and we know that. Can we do this by ourselves? Can we read about it? Probably. But it's not uncommon for us to feel stuck, overwhelmed. And when we don't take action and there are a lot of things going on, research shows that you don't, you don't just stay the same. You can actually go backwards. So any kind of support along the way will guarantee progress in more life satisfaction as well.

So critical these days, Joanne, with such high rates of burnout, so many rates of people leaving medicine, and sometimes with the right support, you can find that there are enough things under your control where a situation where it didn't seem manageable can actually become manageable. So thank you for helping share with us why women could use more support rather than just getting more strength. And then what coaching is and is not. And then also how it can help us. So powerful and for our listener, I would love to challenge you. If you're not watching us on YouTube, you can go to the Show Notes and go over to our YouTube channel. If there are some questions you have about coaching, especially coaching and medicine and what some of the benefits are, head to our YouTube channel and put in the comments and let us know your additional questions and we'll be sure to answer them. And with that, stay tuned because our next episode is coming right up.

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