163. Direct Your Identity, Direct Your Life

Choose identity before circumstances. Instead of asking, can I do this? Ask instead, who do I want to be here? What is my desired outcome in this situation? And that's going to give you a lot more power.

Are you a woman in medicine, feeling overwhelmed and disconnected from the personal fulfillment that you desire? You're in the right place. Join doctors Joanne and Erin as they rewrite the rules for women in medicine. Let's begin.

Most women in medicine didn't choose the life they're living right now. They defaulted into it. And if you don't consciously decide who you're becoming, your life will keep choosing for you. We're going to dive deep into this topic with Dr. Joanne Sotelo, my amazing co host, as we are starting the new year and really thinking about the direction we want to go into. And this is such an important topic for us and let's dive right in. Joanne, what do we need to understand about decisions and our identity?

I love that we're diving into this topic, especially as we start the year. And even though, like I say, any day is a great day to reset, we can use this energy and sense of hope that comes during this first months of the year to really set the intention. And like we always talk in this podcast, the power of awareness. And the fact is that your brain is already living in the future, just not on purpose unless you give it direction. And it does that by using past patterns, your current identity and environmental cues. So you can change any of these things to really create a change for your future, right? Like it's that, that planning the, the future planning that your brain does. And I love this saying that a lot of times we make decisions based on our past and of what we know we can do. And it's so important to then say, my past does not need to dictate my future. And it is up to me to be future focusing based on what I want. So this is something that we've talked about many times because it is this important. And then obviously the other part that we also talk about so often because it's so important, it's the power of your identity, right? So it's your identity, not the motivation that drives your behavior. So if think about it, like, what are the things that you do that are more natural for you and how much is it because it's part of your identity that I've used this example about exercising in here. Like I, I like, love whatever you want to say. Like I exercise regularly and that's part of my identity. Like if you ask me I'll say it's, it's not motivation, that it's part of my routine, it's part of who I am or I am. It's very easy for me to do things for other people because it's part of my identity to be a caretaker. Not that that's always a good thing. Sometimes it comes to the sacrifice of my own well being, which is something that we all need to be working more on. But it's a lot of times if we just depend on willpower or like we tell ourselves, oh, I just need to be more organized or have better planning, or I just need to be more disciplined, even though those are all very important ingredients, a lot of your behavior will be better directed if it comes through your identity. So think about what are some of the things that you tell yourself. Like I am the one who always says yes, I am the reliable one, or like I say, I'm the good girl. And what are the behaviors that come from those parts of your identity? Again, not that they are a bad thing, it's just that we need to redefine that if we want our patterns and our behaviors, our rituals to be more natural for us and then also particularly for us. In medicine, a lot of this gets set early, like that doctor programming that we talking here. Like I'm the good student, I'm the good doctor, I'm the super caretaker, the one who doesn't complain, the one who says yes to everything. And think of the mix of those things, right? Like the how your brain does it, you know, without your permission, the identity and then that Dr. Programming. And it makes better sense of why we do what we do and those patterns. So we're talking about this because it's also hopeful that we have more control than maybe what we give ourselves permission to believe and that we can create change by having more awareness into all these areas.

I love that, Joanne, and what it sounds like you're hinting at is we can bring old identities into our present that we might be able to shift. And also we can, if we want to move into a new identity for ourselves, that's possible as well. We don't have to be stuck. And I love those themes as we start this new year. And why is it so important specifically for women in medicine to decide who they're becoming?

And this is also important because I heard this the other day and it's, it caught my attention that things have never moved this fast, but it's probably the slowest. It's going to be mainly because of Artificial intelligence and how all these systems that are so helpful, what they've been doing, is that they create just more demand. So it's work in constantly, go, go, go, go. And the health care system is changing, and we, we need to. We need to be careful because it's not like we need to move faster. We need to just move forward more carefully, making sure that we're taking care of ourselves, because I think that we are going to be at a higher risk of burnout, not just because of the productivity demands, but then also the beliefs that we have about ourselves. Our sense of fulfillment and satisfaction in medicine might change if we're not careful. The system is changing, the expectations are changing. There's more than, you know, artificial intelligence will be able to do for us. But what will that create in terms of what our role is? And we don't know what the future is going to be, but we can start thinking of how we want to show up. What are our values, what's important to us, what will give us a sense of fulfillment, and how are we going to define success for ourselves, even though the circumstances are changing and they're so fast.

And it sounds like you're really pointing out that awareness. I think about when I started practicing medicine way back in 1997, some of the notes written by my partners, and these are on paper charts, handwritten notes that were maybe five lines, and that was it for the soap notes. And that statement you made that things were still moving faster then. They were just starting electronic health records back then, that they were moving faster than they had been, and yet that was as slow as it was going to get. And it's just going to keep getting faster and faster. And we think about the amount of data that's being thought through by AI and trying to keep up with all that. I love that power of awareness that you're reminding our listener that, hey, it's not going to get any simpler. How can we be intentional? And so, Joanne, I always love to hear your thoughts about the. What can we do about this? Because we don't want our listener to be stuck and go, well, that's great. Now what?

The funny thing is that the first thing that I have in here for us was something that Erin and I were talking about before we started recording. We are making some changes in the podcast and trying to be more helpful, to surf more, to show up better for you all, making sure that we're giving the audience the information that you all want. And we were thinking, why haven't we thought about this before and Aaron answer was we went into autopilot and that is the first thing that we need to do. We need to disrupt that autopilot. And autopilot. It's something that's very efficient because that's our brain trying to do things with the minimal effort. It's good that we don't have to think that much to brush our teeth or get dressed or get drive to work. But we also have the risk of missing out or not. Like Erin and I were talking about, not question, could it be better? Is there a different way? Are we still all in alignment with what we want right now? And there's so much that we hear in medicine of, oh, this is how it's always been or this is how I do it. And again, those are not bad things. We just need to really get out of that autopilot so that we can start thinking a little bit different, especially if we want a different outcome. The second one is really think of that woman you are becoming. And beyond goals, right? This is a beautiful time to think of what are the goals that I want for my future and outcomes. And we also want you to think of in your future, how do you want to manage your energy? How do you want to speak to yourself? What are the boundaries that you need to set? What are things that you no longer want to tolerate? And that's what's going to give you direction. So it's beyond those things that you want. It's what are the ingredients that you really want to add to this recipe of you in, in your future? And then we, it's good, like we were talking about earlier, to choose identity before circumstances. So instead of asking, can I do this? You can ask instead, who do I want to be here? How do I want to show up? What is my desired outcome in this situation? And that's going to give you a lot more power. And our brain needs facts, especially when we're trying to change and we're moving forward. So make sure that you're not missing out on those little details that you can write, like the steps along the way and you can say, I did that and you recorded or that, you know, like I said, like pat yourself in the back and have those honest conversations with yourself, with yourself and decide on a regular basis. This is continuous work, not just one and done. And then you're set for the year. Really check in, audit yourself. What are your thoughts, what are your feelings, what are your behaviors? And are they giving you the results that you want? And that is how you're going to expand your capacity and really connect with that future very intentionally and out of that autopilot.

And that word intentionally is such a theme that I hear throughout this episode and also in the theme that we've been sharing all along is bringing that intention and just makes us think that we have to. One of the things I share with my clients is we're so used to chaos in medicine that we don't often look for those places where we can remove it. So can we get better about saying does it have to be random? What can I do to bring that intention and that piece of bringing our identity? I am a person who exercises. That's just who I am. I am a caregiver. And when you're marrying that with who you are, like you said Joanne, it removes that reliance on motivation and willpower which can sometimes be so scarce, especially for women in medicine these days. I love these really powerful points that you're bringing to our listener. Is there any additional wisdom that you would like to share?

I like to think of this prompts that can be right like I you guys know I love journaling. So maybe journal I'll give you three things that you can work on regularly to and just let your hand move, see what comes up. So think of the woman I am becoming values she no longer she prioritizes. And sometimes when we are journaling like that, like in this future self declarations, something different comes up than when we're just in our brain and just answering these questions intellectually. Really connect with your heart and your emotions and let your pen move and see what comes up and honor that once again.

I love all these points that you're sharing with me and our listener Joanne. And and with that, if you haven't yet subscribed to our channels or rated us, please do that. That helps us get in front of more individuals. And if you found this episode worthwhile, don't hesitate to share it with a friend. And stay tuned because our next episode is coming right up.

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