7 RULES for Overcoming Overwhelm | Prioritize Action Today

Sometimes I need to really choose what are the dreams that I want to pursue.

It's a constant evaluation, and you have to be willing to let go of the good to go for the great. If the overwhelm is, I don't know how I'm going to make this thing, then default to just immediate action because your how is not going to work out anyway. Like, how you think you're going to accomplish your goal right now is not how it's actually going to be. So don't waste time thinking about how it's all going to work out. Just start doing it, and the plan will will be created as you go. But you can only really plan 1 or 2 steps out, not all the way. We're so worried about where we're going that we haven't taken the time to look back and say, oh, I was over there. That's crazy. Which helps with the overwhelm as well. It helps with the imposter syndrome. It helps with the I'm not good enough. You think, well, I'm not Oprah, or I'm not whoever, you know, whoever your hero is. I'm not that big yet. You know, when do I start sharing? But you've already had an impact. You're already doing it.

What's your process to always keep believing in yourself?

Where to start? This is great. Step 1 is just more action. You know, like if you're overthinking and you're stuck in not believing in yourself, just go off and do it. Like that idea that you've got, I expect it to suck. I mean, we talk about it in Momentum. Like I expect that something brand new, I expect it to suck. I expect me to suck at doing that thing. I expect no results to come. I just expect it to suck. And I just love pushing through on momentum. Default to action. More action. You get an idea? Like, how much can you do while you're in that zone? Like, I wrote that book in 5 days when I had no time to write a book. I just came back from speaking in Arizona and San Diego. And arrived on what arrived 2 days ago. And I was meeting with Nick, who's, who's on our team doing a lot of the marketing stuff. And what are we going to do with like now, right here while we're here? Like not when we get home, not next week, not when we've got more times. Like what, what are we doing right now? We met up in the Starbucks in the morning and mapped the whole thing out. So whatever the thing is that you're struggling with or the ideas that you come up with. It's like, what is the massive action you can just default to doing right now? More. Like, create more. Because inside of the massive action, maybe not everything works out, but there's a seed of something. And one thing starts to lift off. I don't know if you saw the IG Live I did with Kale a couple days ago, but awesome young 17-year-old guy who wants to become a singer. Like, okay, cool, 30-day challenge. I want you to make a new song every day for 30 days, do, do, uh, like 5 covers and then an original song. Uh, and I basically laid out the plan for what he should be doing every day. And, and he's been doing it. He's on day 5 or 6 right now through the challenge, right? And not all the songs have taken off, but one of them has 800 or 900 views now, which for him is huge because he's He's just getting started. He's like, wow, I got 800, 900 views on one video. This is where most people will fall apart, is that the video that got the 800, 900 views for him was not his first one. It was like the third or fourth one. And we tend to put so much expectation on that first thing working out as opposed to say, I'm just going to, I'm going to make massive action and one of these things will pan out. So whatever the thing is on your list, you go and you make and you create. And like, when you're in action mode, you're not in overthinking mode because you're doing. So especially at the beginning. So is there like, is there an idea that you want to work on? Like, why did— why this question?

Sometimes I need to, to, to really choose what are the dreams that I want to pursue because I'm always, you know, thinking on stuff. The first thing is my job. It's always my, you know, my family, my job, because my job My job is what I love to do and also what allows me to maintain my family. So that's a big thing. And it is all connected to my passion, which is working with immigrants. So I'm doing that. I'm also working on my YouTube channel. And there's also a salsa group that I'm also working on that, so we can learn to to lead and to follow both at the same time, and my project with women. So those are kind of the main things. It's, uh, except with the salsa group, it's all connected to the immigrant world and to the, to, um, to the, to the, to my work somehow. And what happens sometimes, and I don't only see that with me, but many, many times with my clients, is that There are many, many times when you feel that your circumstances start to be like too big, or, you know, like, there's no— sometimes it's like you feel that there's not enough you to do all the things that you want. So you start feeling a little bit frustrated in the sense that, okay, I'm not being able to do as much as I want. I'm doing it, but maybe I'm going too slowly, or maybe I'm not doing as good as I wish I can do stuff. And for, at least for me, one of my biggest things is big, I don't want to disappoint those that I care about. So, you know, I try to deliver in whatever I get, I try to deliver, but sometimes it's like, because of the circumstances, again, you know, the time constraints, the many responsibilities, the nature of the demands I have, I have, sometimes I feel like a little bit overwhelmed and start feeling like, okay, so am I enough to do all these dreams that I have? And just today I was talking to a client in the morning and he was having the same thing, the same feelings like, okay, I'm here now, I'm in this country, it's great. But now I'm feeling that I'm just not being able to go to the places or do the things that I wanted. Because I don't know if I'm, you know, how I'm gonna deal with everything. So that's kind of like the process I'm trying to extract from you. How do you organize, you know, how do you manage to being able to deal and go beyond your circumstances?

So I don't, um, I would, I would put personally, I'll put them in two different categories, right? Circumstances versus feeling overwhelmed. In the circumstances It's recognizing that people with way less than you have done way more. Like, be around your heroes more. Who have you looked up to? Look at what they've done. You have no reason why you can't do it too. And so I surround myself with my heroes through the videos that I— mostly videos, sometimes books or shows, but like the videos themselves. If I see Oprah and what she went through of— like, she's a great reminder for me of— she was sexually abused and didn't have great parents and grew up mostly with her grandmother and was so poor that she had to go to school in a potato sack. Like, her grandmother couldn't afford it. So, you know, like, imagine going to school in a potato bag and you think you have problems, right? And then she became Oprah. So what's your excuse, right? This is what I would tell myself. It's like, well, yeah, we're now in 2022, going into 2023. The resources that you have— you have the internet. Like you have so much more opportunity than even your parents had at your age. And so it's just perspective and looking out and looking at whoever your heroes are. They started with less than what you have right now. And so it's not an issue of circumstances. It's deciding that it's not an issue of circumstance. Right. So that one doesn't usually get me tripped up too much. For overwhelm, I'll go through phases of I get an idea, immediate action. I don't stress out about like, I think you get overwhelmed because you have to figure out all of the— it's either you have to figure out the whole plan, like I want to start this thing, I don't know how to do it. We focus so much on the how of this big idea, but then it blocks us from creating. And so instead of focusing on the fully mapped out how, I'll focus on what do I have to do right now. At the event that I just came back from, I came up with some ideas of these new shows that I wanted to start. I want to start a new regular show for the gaming community, for the NFT community, for the entrepreneur community. And those last ones, there's 4 shows that I want to start. And I get inspired while I'm in the middle of somebody's talk. So for the next, I don't know, 2 hours, All I'm doing is messaging people who I think might be a good fit for the show. I'm not paying attention anymore to the speaker. I'm not worried about anything else going on. And I'm just, okay, I need to get this show up. What does it look like? What technology we're going to use? Is it going to be Zoom or something else? I don't know. Don't worry because you can't map out the whole plan. It's just getting started. What's the first step? I need to find somebody to do the show with me. So that's my next step. And then that day I met somebody, uh, in my NFT community at a, at a cafe to talk about it. That night I got on a Zoom call with someone in the gaming community to talk about it, and I met with somebody at the event to talk in the entrepreneur community about doing something together. It's like immediate action on the thing, something that would have taken— that could have taken months or years for some people to think through, like, who's going to be the perfect fit? And on it, and what if they say no? What if they don't like me? And what if I'm not good enough? And we're like, all the what-ifs gets solved by just doing stuff. I know, right? So just creating. The second part— so that's like the first. If the overwhelm is, I don't know how I'm gonna make this thing, then default to just immediate action, because your how is not going to work out anyway. Like, the how you think you're going to accomplish your goal right now is not how it's actually going to be. So, so don't waste time thinking about how it's all going to work out. Just start doing it, and the plan will will be created as you go. Like, you can only really plan 1 or 2 steps out, not all the way. So if the overwhelm is coming from, how am I going to reach the goal, then that's not a good use of any mental energy and default to just more immediate action. If the overwhelm is, I'm doing too many things, then it's cutting down some of the things. Maybe the salsa group's not the thing you want to do anymore. I don't know. I love salsa, but maybe, right? So it's like, when I went away on my trip, I came back and I stopped the gaming channel. So I don't know if you've ever joined our gaming channel, but I was gaming 4 days a week at night, answering questions. And I haven't— I told Drew, and I haven't gone live on my gaming channel since. Because when I was away, I didn't miss it. I didn't even feel overwhelmed. It's not like, oh my God, I have too many things going on. Where reality, like, there's tons going on, but I didn't miss it. And that's not a knock against Drew or any of the people or whatever. Like, maybe it just ran its course, or maybe I bring it back in a month. But if you take a little separation from it and then you realize that I don't actually miss that thing, then you should cut it out from your life. When I went to— the first time I went to Tony Robbins' event— not the first time, the second time, when he actually invited me to come in and be his guest. They do this firewalk at the end where you walk on fire. And I was going to go because I was Tony's guest. I was going to be the first one on the fire. And he was going to personally be the guy like yelling at you to come across the fire, not his team. Like Tony was going to personally take me out across the coals. And I left. I didn't go do it. Not a knock against Tony. But what's the point of doing the firewalk? The firewalk is to get you to realize you can do difficult things. And so what I did was instead was I went back to my hotel and I stopped doing 4 things that I was doing that involved other people, commitments to other people that I was doing that I felt bad for them. I felt like I owed them something. I felt like I was doing it. I didn't want to disappoint them. And so I stayed in things that I shouldn't have stayed in. I'm like, now is the time to grow. And so I did the— that was the real firewalk. For me was stopping those things. So if you feel overwhelmed by things, because there's too many things going on, then it's cutting down some of those things, recognizing what's the priority in your life. So if it's overwhelm on the how, then stop thinking about it and just start doing, because the how is going to change a million times. If it's the overwhelm because you have too many things going on, then then it's cutting down some of the things that you have going on. So you can focus on building the life that you want to build. And it doesn't mean that like, this is where good is the enemy of great. The things that you, if it sucked, you would cut it, right? Like if you went to your women's group and everybody just yelled at you the whole time, you would leave because like, I don't want to be yelled at all the time. The problem is most of the things that we're doing, they're just good. It's good. And the good is preventing us from doing great things. And so you might have to look at the calendar. And I still do this. Like, I do this all the time, looking at my calendar and saying, do I want to keep doing this? Should I keep doing Instagram Lives? Should I keep meeting with the people in my team? Should I keep— like, it's a constant evaluation, and you have to be willing to let go of the good to go for the great.

You know, it's amazing what you are saying because you are basically giving a roadmap of all the things, you know, someone, and not only me, but anyone who's undertaking a new phase in life, all the things that, you know, it can be done to clarify and to find a clear way to go where you want to go without feeling burned and without feeling that you are being torn into pieces. Trying to get your goal of achieving your dreams. And yeah, it's kind of like, you know, sometimes having that clarity needs to come from someone else. Many, many times you kind of know some of those things, but it's good to have someone telling you, having that person, that voice, that mentor. And sometimes we don't look for that. We try to do everything by ourselves. As you were saying, and we start feeling drawn. And it's, yeah, it's a little bit of what happens to me and what I've realized happens to many people that it's going through changes in life and they're going through their personal journeys. And emotions is something else that, you know, all the different emotions that you experience when you're going through changes, how do you deal with that?

I think it's first off recognizing what is the emotion where you feel safe, because a lot of times that emotion is the thing that's actually holding you back. You have to get into the emotion that makes you feel uncomfortable. So why did I stay in those things for so long? Well, because it made me feel safe, because that's where home was, because I'd rather be stuck and not grow than potentially disappoint people. I'd rather stay in these groups and stay with these commitments that I made because I don't want to disappoint them. And it's good and it's emotionally hard to get out of those and move to something else that I want to do. So recognizing what is the emotion that's keeping you stuck and safe and how is it actually like it's feeding you because I don't want to disappoint people. But it's the same thing for me. I don't want to disappoint people. So it's just shining a light on that because that's the default. My default mode would be to try to serve and help people and not disappoint them. And that may actually be holding me back from doing something much bigger. When you get that light kind of shine on it, whether it's somebody else or whether it's you, then it's just asking, hey, is there a way— like, if you think about— you mentioned 4 different groups, I think, that you're part of. Cool. Like, let's say one of those groups isn't really a great fit for you anymore. Maybe it was, maybe you've grown and you learned from it. Maybe you're, maybe it was never like a perfect group, but now you feel kind of committed to it. Is there a way that you could leave the group without making everybody feel terrible? And if you pose the question that way, there's always an answer. You know, like, is there a way you can leave a client or leave a relationship or leave a group or leave a responsibility without it being terrible? Like, how can I leave this in as good a situation as possible? If you just take the time— this is what I have to do— if I just take the time to think about it, I can come up with an answer. It's like, oh, it's actually not that hard to leave this group and still have them be in a good spot where they're not hating you. But it's the willingness to ask that question and getting through it. Like, it's the, it's the comfort of staying in the group and feeling like, you know, you, you owe them something Then it's the fear of, oh my gosh, if I leave the group, they're going to hate me. Then it's the excitement of, okay, but if I free up that time, I can go and do something much bigger and have a bigger impact, right? And then it's the comfort back to, okay, I can actually leave this group in a way that doesn't destroy everything for all the people who are in the group. Yeah, so it's this range of emotion that we go through, but most of it is the fear and the uncertainty, and it almost never ends up being as bad as you thought it was going to be because you're not going to leave the group and say, you know what, guys, like, I hate you and it's not working and you suck and I'm out. You're not going to do that. You're going to find a way to leave gracefully and hopefully give them a better path forward. But we, we all have to— like, the next level of growth, if you want to go and do amazing things, you need to have time in your calendar to be able to go off and do it. Which means you may have to let go of some relationships. Like the friends that you were with in kindergarten may not be the same people who are good friends for you right now. Maybe you're stuck in a relationship that's no longer the best relationship for you. Maybe you hire people on your team who aren't good fits for where you want to grow anymore and were okay for where they're at. The number of entrepreneurs I've had to meet— I was coaching a guy in San Diego who, who built his business, he's got a million-dollar company, hired 5 people, they're all his friends, and he realized that, like, they're not the people that take him to $10 million. And so he hired his friends, and that now it's not a good fit anymore. So he's got to move on from them, and it's hard to fire your friend. Yeah, but we have to move on from some of the relationships and some of the commitments that we've made in order to get to the next level.

And, and yes, that's the thing, like, because I guess that everyone who starts any type of change or journey is because he feels it's good enough to look for something better in their lives. So making that difficult decision, you know, finding the way to manage the fear and the anxiety and all, you know, to make the difficult decision and realize that doing it, it will allow you to be a better version of yourself. You know, that That is, I guess, you know, what I'm extracting from you. Like, you know, give yourself that, that possibility to, to believe that you can be, that you can be. It's just a matter of doing these, these things that you're doing, this process, analyzing what is the real, you know, what are the real, the real things that I need to be involved at, what are the renunciations that I have to do even though they are difficult. And, uh, and, you know, continue into that original idea and original plan, original big dream that, uh, you know, that, that we have, like everyone has, right?

And listen, community matters too, a lot in all of this. Like being around people who are doing the thing or supportive of you when doing the thing matters. You know, you look at what you do, if you— for somebody to immigrate to a new country That's a hard decision. That's not just like, oh yeah, let's move to Canada. For most people, you're leaving your home, you're leaving your family, you're leaving your community, you have to learn a whole new language and be in a whole new country and understand all the new laws. And that's a tough choice for a lot of people. Doing that is harder than almost anything else, leaving everything behind and going to a new country. What makes it easier? Is being around people who've also immigrated to that country. You know, it's like if you move to a new country and you're all by yourself, you're all alone, you have no friends, nobody speaks your language, nobody understands your culture, you're just sitting in your basement of your new rental home or apartment all day long, you're like, that's a really dangerous, narrow path. What helps is people, meeting people like Kyna. Meeting people who are in the community, meeting people who've also moved to a new country, people supporting you on the new journey. So it's about being around the people, because if you're around your family and the people, your old friends where you came from, what are they going to say? Stay here. Don't go there. Stay here. This is where everything is at. But you want to go there. So the people who were with you back there, they want you to stay with them. But you need people for where you're going. And being around those people more will help give you the courage and the motivation and the inspiration, as well as the tactics and the tools and the introductions. But the feeling that you're not alone. Because when you leave a place— this is why I said we're all immigrants, even if you were born in the country you're at— because to leave a place where you feel like you belong and now you're going to a new place where you don't belong is really scary. And that's a main reason why a lot of people never make that journey, because they don't want to do it alone. So they'd rather stay safe and comfortable and in the community where they belong than go off and try to find something new. So a lot of people stay in a broken relationship because they're afraid that they won't find anybody else. And so rather be with somebody who is abusive or neglectful than be with nobody, right? We feel like we can't get to the next spot because We're stuck where we are. And so just being— just the importance of community. Like, whatever you're trying to do, don't do it alone. Find people. Even if it doesn't mean that the person you find is going to be your best friend for life, but in joining communities, in being a part of the thing that— where you're going, you will find your tribe. And looking back, you know, in 5 years or 10 years later, you'd be like, I can't believe that's who I used to be. I'm so glad I continued on the journey.

Yeah, yeah. And something that you, you, you used to say, you say a lot, and I love it because it has helped me so much, is when you are in doubt, when you have, uh, you're not sure about what to decide, um, big decisions with your, with your heart, small decisions with your head. Yes. And, uh, and that has been so like such a big guide for me since years ago, like when I started listening about you. And when, you know, when I need to make those kind of decisions, I use that, that principle: big decisions with your heart and small decisions with your head. Because in the end, there's a biggest knowledge, right, that goes beyond the intellect. And that's definitely something that we can use So it's something that I try to lean on. And community, definitely, it's something that we all can use. And as immigrants, we definitely need a strong community. Strong community as an individual too. Like me being part of Movement Makers helps me so much in many senses. And, you know, being around you, having this opportunity, talking to you, Exactly. And, you know, extracting those little things or big things and big thoughts that may help me, definitely are helping me, and will help many other people that, you know, that can listen to this. I've been checking all the hearts and all the comments, and I'm just so grateful that, you know, that you share all this with us, with me. And, uh, yeah, thank you so much.

An easy way to look at it is, you know, if you're feeling overwhelmed by the amount of work that you're doing you look at the calendar and just look at the day ahead or look at the week ahead and what in your calendar gets you excited and what in your calendar makes you like, oh, I got it. Like, that's a heart decision, right? It may make super logical sense for you to do that thing, but if it sinks your energy, then it's not worth doing long-term. Doesn't mean you quit it right now, but you know you have to get out of that thing longer term. When I look at my calendar, I see Tanya Gonzalez in the house, like, let's go, it's gonna be fun. You know, if I look at it like, oh, Tanya, no, you know, then I shouldn't be doing movement. I should be doing something completely different, right? I look at it, I'm excited. So I should keep, I should keep doing it. Right. And so if you look at your calendar, we tend to, we tend to prioritize just the things that make sense. But if you feel like you're at the end of every day, and you're super drained, and you have no energy, and and you need like a huge break to deal with everything that you just went through today, well, maybe you're doing the wrong stuff, you know, like, and, and doing the right things may not make sense yet, but having time on your calendar to at least cut out some of the things that are making you feel low energy and replacing them with things that you can get excited by, even if they don't work out short term, that's the path to creating the new life that you want to create. So don't make a list of pros and cons. Like, should I do this or not? Pros and cons, because you're trying to make a big decision with your head. It's like, no, which one, which one do you love more? Like, which one would be more exciting for you to go off and try? Because if you do the work that makes you feel excited and gives you energy— like, I have more energy leaving you than coming into you. Like, you are— you gave me energy, you didn't take away. My energy. And hopefully the same for you, you know, hopefully you're leaving. So this is like 2 2 8,000 because you're combining things and we're both leaving, I'm assuming, more energetic than when we came in, right? So it's like a sign that you're doing the right thing. And if you're leaving, if you're leaving tasks feeling depleted, you should not be doing that long term. Again, it doesn't mean you quit that thing right now. It doesn't mean you quit the relationship or the job or the partnership or whatever, like in the moment, maybe you do. but at least having a plan to get out there because you don't want to spend the next 5, 10 years of your life doing that thing that you hate.

And I guess that also helps you with guilt, like not feeling guilty about making those hard decisions. Like, you know, having in front of you the possibility of growth. Like, yes, I'm cutting all these, but in the future I will have all these other chance is open to me because I'm making this difficult decision at this moment, which, you know, I think that for many people is something like that. You feel guilty about making those hard decisions because you will affect someone else. And it's hard to make that decision. It goes, you know, beyond you. It's not only— you're not even thinking of you, but in you, what you're saying, like, in you giving yourself that chance to grow, sooner or later you will benefit many more.

Yeah, if you want to reduce the guilt of dropping something, you do two things. You either raise how much excitement you have for what's coming, so you raise the level of, well, if I free up this time, I can go build this and I can help that, and then I can have this impact because I have this extra time. So we're raising the excitement for the future that you've got. And then also, how do you lower the risk of something bad happening? So you got two things to pull. Like, I'm going to get more excited about the life that I'm going to build and I'm going to reduce the impact of me leaving. So again, you're not just going to leave the group and say, that's it, I'm out. You guys suck. Have fun. Like, how do you leave? We just never asked the question, like, how do I leave this group or leave this person in a way that reduces the downside as much as possible? It may not be zero. Like, if we're going to get rid of a client, we try to pass them on to somebody else where it might be a better fit. Not just, hey, you suck, you're out. Like, try to give them a better path out. So both of those: get excited about the future and lower the downside as much as possible. And it gives you the freedom to go in and build and make and create because where most people get stuck is just the complacency of staying where you are because it's comfortable and it's safe and it's what you know, as opposed to getting out into the unknown. But that's where all of the magic happens. Like, the magic doesn't happen by you staying who you are. Oh yeah, magic happens by you changing and growing.

Definitely, that's not an option because, yeah, it may be comfortable. I always think that comfort is that sun that is warm and nice, but it will burn at the end. It will take the best of you at the end. So that's not an option. Never, never. You know, just we need to make that leap of faith. I have— I've always wondered something. Have you ever thought, like, in your past, you know, when you were very young and when you were dealing with all the things that you've dealt and you've shared with us, right, about all the, you know, the doubts about you, you being able to do all what you're doing. Have you ever, or did you ever thought that you will find greatness? Did you ever felt that inside you, that, you know, I have to keep going because I feel that there's something so big inside of me that I need to give myself the chance to keep going because I'm gonna be great?

Um, only to the extent that I think everybody has that.

Okay.

You know, and maybe that's because my mom was my hero, or I'm Canadian, or whatever, you know. Yeah, maybe that's like just baked into us. But, um, yes, and I think that— I think that everybody has the Michael Jordan level genius at something. Like, everybody is great at something. You're the best in the world at something. and we've got to, we got to find out what that thing is, and you got to dedicate the time to, to then practicing it and actually getting really great at it. It's like believing that you even can be great and then believing in yourself enough to chase down that dream, um, I think really, really matters. So, uh, yes, I believe I'm great. I believe you're great. I believe everybody watching here is great at something. And then the tricky part is, this is why everybody is an immigrant, like, it's not what you were born into. You know, like you, what you're great at is not what your parents did for a living. It's not what you went to school to learn. It's not what any of your friends are doing. It's something completely different. And it takes a lot of courage to go off and leave the comfort of your home to then go and like, you stay in your little village or you go and build a castle. You know, most people just stay in their little village where like everybody can have their own castle. It's like, you can, but it takes a lot of courage to walk that path.

And yeah, you always say something else that I like a lot is it's a muscle, you know, being brave, it's a muscle that we can develop and making those difficult decisions. It's something that we can work on doing more and more and it's going to be more, you know, easier every time.

Yeah, 100%. Like I remember when you joined our insiders group, So we have, for anybody who buys any of my books, we have a Facebook group that we meet. Um, and we have events kind of once a week for free if you got the book. Uh, and Tanya joined one of the first sessions, but didn't say anything the first time she joined, just kind of sat there and watched. And then, and then I think the second time or the third time you like had a little question and now here you are, you're going live. It's like, imagine, look at all the content you've made, all the live streams you've done, all the people you've helped, all the videos that you've like— Tanya, from, I don't know how long ago that was, a year and a bit ago, maybe in May. Around May, May, May last year. Like, look at even, even just in— so that's what, a year and a half or a year and a couple months? Like, how much growth you've had?

This year, maybe this year.

No, it was this year. It was this year.

Yeah. No, I just had surgery. Yeah, in April 2022 I had surgery, and after that I, I became a Movement Maker in April.

Wow.

Okay.

So that's insane. So even just look at that, like, look at how much you've grown since April, May. If you showed yourself this, like, if, if we went back to February Tanya and said, hey, look at what you did in October, you'd be like, that's not me. That's not happening. There's no way. There's no way. And that's only a few months later.

Yeah.

Now imagine what you can do in a year or 2 years or 5 years or 10 years. It's crazy. You're literally an impossibility. Like Tanya from March would think that Tanya from October is impossible. I can never do that, it's impossible. And yet you've already done it in a really tight window.

It's part of being in the right community. That has made such a big difference for me. Like I remember you saying, I'm an introvert. I'm an introvert and I'm, you know, I have been able to evolve myself to do all these things that are not likely for a person who's an introvert. Introvert, and I'm a shy person. So I said, okay, you know, this person can do it, and it's not comparing myself to anyone, but you know, it is possible to give that switch to your, to your personality, to character. We are not defined by what we are at this moment. Like, we are really not. I really believe that. And I've made many changes in my life, and this last phase in my life, you know, doing this big Opening myself to do all these things, like, it has given me so much fulfillment and a sense of confidence and gratitude. And it's really like, yes, I feel myself as an example that you can change. And I'm committed to leave that shy girl, like, you know, at the side. I know that she exists. I know that she is there, but I don't want her to define me. And I know that there's more people, everyone You can do it. It's just, you know, surrounding with the right people and finding those, those possibilities to, to really find your potential. So I'm very grateful that I found you, your community, because it has made a big difference in my life.

Yeah, you joined Movement Makers during our challenge, right? The first Built to Serve Challenge. Wow, I thought it was at least a year. No, but it's only been like 4 or 5 months.

Uh, yeah, I think so. Yeah, it was around April, April this year, right?

May, June, July, August, September, and it's what, October 3rd? Yeah, so we're into our 6th. That's crazy.

Yeah, and yeah, I've experienced so many changes. Like, in my life, I would have thought that I would be doing this because I was so private that I— not even my Facebook was too. I wasn't active, not even in Facebook. So Even learning all this has been such a big experience. So having the right motivation makes all the difference in someone's life, regular life, because I'm, you know, quiet person. Like, you know, I just like little things. Like, I like dance salsa. I like my work. I like working with immigrants. I like those kind of things. But, you know, learning about all these possibilities gave me such a different insight about what can I do and how can I help and why should I help? And why should I not keep everything to myself? But sometimes I feel overwhelmed and sometimes I feel like I question myself, you know, should I go back to a more quiet life? Should I, you know, just take it a little bit easier? But something inside me tells me no.

Well, listen, it's never going back. Like if you make a shift or a change, it's never going back. It's just going somewhere else. Yeah, you know, it's like that the caterpillar becomes the butterfly. The butterfly never goes back to becoming a caterpillar, but the butterfly also doesn't stay on the same tree forever. You know, the butterfly flies away and goes other places.

It's so nice.

It's never going back. Like, you never want to be the Tanya who you used to be. There's nothing wrong with her. She helped you get to where you are now, but we never go back. You're just flying somewhere else. But, but The butterfly wants to fly, you know. The butterfly doesn't stay stuck. The caterpillar's stuck, you know. The caterpillar's stuck on the tree, becomes a butterfly, and then the butterfly flies away. So, um, anyway, I'm just still stuck on the— you've only been with us for 5 months. Like, I'm so excited to see what you can do in the next 5 years. This is crazy, Tanya. Let's go!

You know, I, I, I see like all the time I have so many you know, thoughts and plans and ideas. And now that I've done a little bit, I believe using your, you know, your core, I believe that I can do much more. And not only, you know, that will be in benefit of myself, but also in benefit of everyone that I can touch. Something you always said is not always is willing to hear something from a a specific person, but it's open to hear it from someone else. And, you know, I really want to tap into that because I may be able to, you know, to give a little bit of hope, inspiration, a loving push for so many people who is waiting on the dock, you know, on the port, not deciding to embark in their journeys. So I hope I can give them that little bit of tools to make their journey easy because it is possible. It is possible for regular people to make things that, you know, are a little bit extraordinary.

Yeah. And listen, you started that saying, I may be able to. You definitely will. And you already are. You know, like you already are. You already are doing it. We had our Clubhouse session the other day on the weekend to kind of celebrate people who finished the challenge. And a woman joined and she was talking about how she was so kind of introverted and shy and couldn't speak, would never get making videos. And now she's like, how do I help inspire people? I was like, but you're already doing it. You already are. You've already helped tons of people. It may not be where you end up, right? Like, you may think, oh, it's nothing compared to what other people are doing, but you've already had an impact on people's lives, and it's only going to scale and get bigger and grow more. So it's, it's just perspective. A lot of times we're so worried about where we're going that we haven't taken the time to look back and say, oh, I was over there. That's crazy, right? Which helps with the overwhelm as well. It helps with the imposter syndrome. It helps with the I'm not good enough. You think, well, I'm not Oprah, or I'm not whoever, you know, whoever your hero is. I'm not that big yet. You know, when do I start sharing? But you've already had an impact. You're already doing it. So on the days when you feel— this is what I do a lot with the people on my team and the entrepreneurs I've invested into. Most of the work is making them see how awesome they are. There are some days, you know, Alex comes in and he says like he's the greatest instructor in the world, then I'll knock him down. It's like, dude, you suck. Like, you're just getting started. But on most of the days, he's coming in with the I'm not good enough energy. It's like, look how far you've come. Like, Alex from 5 years ago who walked in and was like the worst dancer in his class, look at what you've become. And so we often forget the perspective to see the journey that we've climbed. And every time you take that step, you can go help somebody else who's stuck at step zero.

And that, you know, that teaching of you to treat ourselves with grace, you know, to be kind to ourselves. It's so, like, so, so important because otherwise it's falling twice. Not only you, you know, you fail at doing something, but you come and you treat yourself bad. That's falling twice. So yeah, it's very nice that you're saying, you know, treat yourself.

But this is where like a great community or great mentor can help. Because when you're— there's no one answer. Like sometimes you need to be lifted up. When you feel really low, You need to be lifted up. And when you feel on top of the world, that you feel, you know, too egomaniac, you need to be brought back down. You know, it's like, you need to— you're just getting started. Get to work. Go. You think you— you think you are— you're awesome. You suck. Let's go. But most of the time it's the opposite, where the needs like, dude, you're amazing, you know, you've done so much. And so having, um, having the support of people and mentors to kind of guide in, in hug you when you need it and push you where you need it, I think is really valuable. And you're doing that for other people too.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

Okay, well, tell me, I mean, you got a YouTube campaign or video, like, give me the details and how can I help?

Okay, so, uh, first of all, I have to tell you, I did apply the 2% rule that you have been able to help me understand. Back in the spring, I started to write my book, Truth and Dare: Daring to Live Your Truth in a Fake World. And in that book, I started to write my stories, just very heart-compelled stories, the reason why I learned certain principles. And they're very real, very honest stories. One of those stories, I felt very compelled to create a video. And while I was excited, I got out and I got the, I went out there, found my videographer, started to put it together. It was a magical experience. And once we started to get into it, I recognized that the story that I was sharing was all about some sexual trauma that I had experienced as a, as a younger teenager. And moving past that and into allowing myself to unpeel the layers of trauma so that the real me could show up in, in this heart-centered, able to receive love, able to give love, able to show up better, greater, with, with a greater capacity. And the video is beautiful. It's got actors, actresses, over 100 people in the local community that came out. The videographers did an amazing job. We shot this very compelling, beautiful story. And on 9/11, very deliberately, we launched the campaign. So we're moving past Me Too and into Time to Heal. That's the movement, that's the campaign. And my desire is to evoke that, that my honest, full, like, this is a transparent story. I don't hide anything. I show everything and I put it out there. My heart is out there so that I can help women to understand that perhaps their trauma is impeding them from living in their highest and best. Is masking them. And I like to say the light of the soul is hard and challenging to see when it's shadowed by the trauma of yesterday. So that is really what this movement is. Hey sisters, it's now time to rise. It's now time to heal. The time is now. So that's it. We did it on 9/11 because the trauma of our country brought us together as Americans. And so 9/11 was also a start of let's unite together those of you that are part of this Me Too, but now let's lift each other and help each other become the best versions of ourselves by lending support, by loving each other, by telling each other different ways that we were able to heal and grow. So here we are, 9/11, the video did well. It's— but here's the thing, I also recognize in Me Too that a gal by the name of Tarara Berk actually launched that movement back in 2007. And then it really didn't become a huge movement until 2017 when Alyssa Milano came out and said, hey, make sure that everybody hashtags #MeToo. So that's when it really became big. Well, I'm not Alyssa Milano. I'm not in the public eye like that. So where does a girl like me really start to take off? And what would you encourage me to do to help gather those that need this in their lives? So that's why I'm coming to you is to get that more of a very deliberate, actionable plan. We did the creation. Now it's time to put it into a plan.

All right. This is great. There's so much in here. This is amazing. Lots to work with. First off, like, congrats on doing it. Congrats on writing the book and sharing your soul. And like, especially when you're talking about trauma, that's so hard to get it out there. Like, you feel naked sharing this, and who's going to judge me? And it— yeah, so that takes a tremendous amount of courage. And your willingness to be seen and share makes other people who've been through it feel less alone. Like, if one person looks at that and say, oh, I'm not— like, I'm not alone, other people have gone through this, you know, you give hope. Like, this is how you give hope, by sharing your story. 'Cause if you're silent, it perpetuates the silence.

Exactly, yes. And when we bring it out into the light, the shame can no longer exist anymore, right? So absolutely. This is a story I never thought I would share. Like, this is my inner circle story, Evan. This is not a story I was gonna give to the world, but I felt like if my heart said, if you will do this and you are courageous and brave, it will impact and help someone else. So yes, thank you.

Well, and I love that you went from like the idea to the book and then one of the stories that becomes a video. It's like, it's great. These are all, you know, the seeds that who knows what it's gonna— what forest will be created from that little, you know, sapling that you planted on 9/11. Okay, a couple things in here. The first is recognizing that this is a movement and this is an ongoing— this is a mission. This is not just like How do we promote this for the next week? This is forever. This is, you know, like, let's get eyes on this thing. And it's, it's, this is what happens a lot of times with people are launching books. It's like, oh, I'm just gonna, it's out. Cool. Let's try to hit a list. And then that's it. As opposed to, no, this is a movement that I'm trying to build. And when you talk about Me Too taking a decade or whatever it was for it to actually start taking, taking shape and getting attention, that's the work. And it wasn't a failure in the first 10 years. Could have gone faster. Yes. But there's the work behind the scenes in the trenches, planting, watering, nurturing that seed to become something much bigger. Like two things, one for the video right now that's already come out, I would be linking it everywhere that you've got. It's in the bio of your IG, it's the trailer on your YouTube page, it's in a newsletter that you put out on your email list, it's in the PS of every email in your signature and your email, like PS, check out the story on whatever. Um, it's like any communication that's being sent out, it's there for people to go and potentially check out. So, okay. Um, you know, the PS on mine is join my Discord. So any email that I send off, it's like join the Discord, but yours could be PS. Like, I don't know how many emails you send out a day, you know, maybe it's 10, if it's 20, maybe it's 200, but everybody who— it's just automatically kind of baked in there. PS, here it is. So anywhere where you're creating any kind of content, website, social, email, videos, bio links, the video is there. That's an easy starting point. The second thing is because it's a YouTube video, I would look at how well the video did retention-wise and see if there might be edits or tweaks or hacks. Like, is there a cut-down version? Are there moments when you lose the retention because if people are dropping off, if we cut that part out, the video has a better chance to succeed and win.

The good news is, Evan, it's 6 minutes and 53 seconds and the retention is there. Let's go! They're watching the whole thing. So yeah, cool. That's good news. But thank you. I'm going to continue. Now that could have been because the first initial push were people in my tribe. So we'll keep looking at that.

Sure. And then you can split test the thumbnail and what's our title and what are we going to call it? Now, like if you're thinking more long-term and reaching out, right? Even just on this video, let alone like we'll move to the whole movement afterwards, but just for the video, what's the main, like, so Me Too, obviously everybody knows. It's time to heal or like, what's the, what's the main phrase?

Hashtag #TimeToHeal. That is, yeah, time to heal. Perfect.

Any groups, any coaches, any content being put out, like any, any— I don't know how— like, if somebody has this trauma, where are they going? Who are they reaching out to? What groups are they joining, whether they're paid or free or meetups or whatever it is, to have that video potentially be a part of the healing process for them. So if there's anywhere down from like a shelter that people might be going to, or religious organizations or groups, or like where do people go to connect and start to share their story, and then you connecting with the connectors and putting this video on their attention, that maybe your video is the thing that helps explain something in a way that they couldn't explain, or just another way to be able to see it. So, you know, if I look at— I don't know what the— I don't know enough about like the trauma, sexual trauma world to know like where people go. And it may not be as organized as something like Alcoholics Anonymous. But if we use AA just as an example, imagine if your video was talking about healing from that as opposed to sexual trauma. And then imagine if your videos was played on day one of every AA meeting. So it's baked into the process, right? So who are the— like, if I wanted to do that, who, who do I have to talk to inside of AA? Is it the whoever's like the CEO of AA? Is it on an individual chapter level? Do they have a newsletter that they're all talking to each other? Like, how does the curriculum get organized? That's not an overnight thing.

Right.

But it's a movement, you know, and it's valuable. And the story that you told in the video in a year, in 2 years, in 5 years is still valuable. It's still relevant. It's not just a 2022 September 11th thing. So like, the timing of the launch was very cool, and now it's in a year, it's still just as helpful and relevant. So where are these women going right now, and how can you be a part of that healing journey to assist The Assistors. So a lot of teachers use my videos in their classrooms, and I got a— the number of teachers who've written to me to say, like, thank you for not putting swearing in your videos because I play it to my grade 8 classrooms as part of, like, homeroom every day or something. And that was never actually my intention. We just moved to swear words because I don't swear. It's just my own thing. But what a great, like, byproduct, right? So if I wanted to get into that, like, now it's just a bunch of teachers who are doing it. But if I wanted to be in the education system, now it's like, okay, how do I get more teachers to play my videos? How do I— who do I have to talk to? Is it at the teacher level or superintendent level or etc., right? And it may be different for different states and different, you know, counties. So that becomes the work. And maybe that's you, maybe that's your tribe, maybe that's your assistant. It's like, how do we— who are the people who are the helpers and how do we help the helpers? So you're not just helping the end, the actual survivors, but you're helping the helpers. So we're making a list of like 1,000 helpers across America.

Love that.

Who are those people? And then how can I help you? How can I assist you? And the first lead-in is with the video. This isn't easy. This is a story. They're going to heal through it. It's not the only thing. You have your own methodology. Cool. But this might add to somebody's healing, right?

Right.

What that then does is help you build a much bigger movement on top of just the video where imagine that you had your list of 1,000 helpers and you're in contact with them and they know who you are and you're all working towards the same thing of now it's time to heal. Maybe not like exactly how you see it, but they're, they're doing their own version of it too. When you want to launch the next thing, your book, your next book, your mastermind, your own training centers across America, or your healing centers across— like, now you have people who can support you and join you and you've been working with and training with. And so there's like the immediate strategy just around how do I get this video out, But there's the ongoing of how do I build a network across America of not just the survivors but the helpers? Because that leads to so many things for the rest of your life, for the rest of the movement that you're, you're trying to build and create. So that becomes a call to action, like you, your followers, your audience, your newsletter, like let's work on a list. Let's get 1,000 people who are helping, who are helping the survivors. So we want to help the helpers. And then you start reaching out. And it could be Instagram, Twitter, email, phone calls, and to not do it alone because I can feel like, how do I get 1,000 people across America to feel like— it's going to end up like that box behind you that then is just like something to look at. It's not happening. And so, the easiest way to do it is you put a time in your calendar that Tuesday afternoons is movement. Outreach time and you're trying to figure out how do I have half the day or whatever fits into your calendar. But like, this is important for, for you, for the women you're helping, and for the rest of your life. Like, you're going to be 90 years old still caring about this.

Absolutely.

If anything, even more like, like, no, this is so important that you get this right. So yeah, so it's, it's amazing in the short term with this one video, but there's so many of these videos and projects and courses and healing centers and VR and all this stuff that will come. Because unfortunately, you know, when you're 90, people will still be experiencing sexual trauma and will still need to heal, you know?

Yeah.

So this is a lifeline, lifetime mission that we're on. So if you set aside Tuesday afternoons, I'm going to spend 4 hours every Tuesday doing this work and the outreach, and it's you finding the names, it's DMing people and messaging people and asking for help, even like you did this, right? Kira mentioned to me that you wanted to do this. And so here we are talking about this, right?

Here we are. Yeah.

So getting, like, enlisting help. And it may be a no, you know, like I could have said, hey, I don't have time right now.

Right.

It's probably not going to be, I hate you, Wendy, forget about it. Right. Like, you're probably not going to get those kind of responses. But for some people, maybe it's just the wrong time. And it's a not now, but it's not a personal rejection of you and the mission of what you're doing. But the important part is to not try to do everything on your own and to build the list of 1,000 people on your own and to do the outreach all on your own because it's lonely, you lose motivation, and it just feels overwhelming that this is not possible.

Right.

So part of the work on a Tuesday afternoon or whatever you set aside is how do I enlist people to help me? Like, hey, do you want to help me find people? Do you set up people in different states? Is the goal to have How many states are there in the US? 52?

50.

50? Why did I think 52? Is Alaska not a state?

I guess if you thought Puerto Rico or, you know, those types of things that maybe, maybe a couple. That's right.

You're Canadian. I'm Canadian.

So whatever.

But like if you wanted to have a captain for every state and now you're recruiting 50 captains or whatever you want to, leaders or whatever language you want to use. Now they're responsible for their state, right? And so, hey, you're, you're, you're a New York champion and you're Arizona. I need, I need a, I need an Ohio champion. Who's gonna be my Ohio? And like, I'll do that. I'll help Wendy. And then Tuesday afternoons, maybe you're meeting with all your champions for half an hour to brainstorm ideas and like, here's what I'm doing. Okay, cool. And that might— what somebody's doing in Ohio might inspire the person in New York to do some outreach. And so the sharing and it becomes something much bigger than just one video, which kind of started the whole thing. Right.

Right.

But if you don't schedule time and you don't ask people for help, then it stays small.

Yes.

Or it stays that list of ideas on the wall behind. Right. It's like, you know, there's so much good that's here. It's like until we do something about it, nothing ends up happening. The other thing I would look at is how much work you want to do actually helping the survivors. And how can you do that? And I don't know if survivors is the right word of what you would want to call it.

I think that's beautiful. I mean, survivors, I like to consider this movement is taking that victimization of Me Too and moving it to victor, right? Now we're— and just allowing themselves that is now an experience that we had. It's something that has shaped how we have, you know, how we've shown up in the world, but Now we have more compassion, now we have more empathy, now we can connect. And especially once we dismantle all of the trauma and the trauma responses that we have based on that trauma, now we can really show up. Now we can really shine our light. And absolutely, I think survivor is a great word, but I think victor is an even more empowering word, right? And, and those are exactly like we're putting into pieces lots of different things things like groups where we can collectively share ideas, be that, that soft place to land for individuals. Because my first thing, my first encouragement is start somewhere, start anywhere. It's kind of like your 2%, start somewhere, do it. Once we marinate, we will talk ourselves out of it every single time. So if our heart leads and we start that movement and we take some action wherever that is, even if it's just started, starting with the Facebook group. We took some action. Now we get ideas. Now our heart is open. Now we start to see what we can do in order to heal, because the world needs individuals that are in that healing phase. It invites— I believe healing women will heal a broken and hurt world because it invites the men to participate. And then it also allows the children to see what does happy look like? What does joyful look like? What does self-confident look like? Oh, mom is self-confident. Mom loves herself. Mom shows up in this world and she doesn't hide and she doesn't self-betray and she shines her light. So that's what I see with this movement. It really does have the capacity to impact millions of lives because it starts with the individual, goes to the family, goes to the community, right? So absolutely, I think that it's important for us to have resources for them to start. Where do you start? You know, if you've not gone down this road, where do you start?

So the strategies that we just talked about will work. The language and the naming you can finesse and play with, right? So like if we're having a champion or a captain of each state, maybe you don't like captain or champion. Like I'm just trying to— I'm searching for names, but like having somebody in charge, or you can like, it's a heroine, or it's like a, I don't know, whatever, like whatever. You meditate on it, you pray on it, and boom, the word enters your mind. But that idea, and it should be empowering. I'm using more generic terms, but it could be like we're all our own Joan of Arc, and you're the Joan, or whatever. It could be like the strategy will work, but language becomes an important part of any movement. So it's chipping an empowering position that I am the blank for Ohio. And survivor, cool, if you want to call it the victors, that they may not identify themselves as a victor yet, but that's where they want to get to. Typically, if you want to scale it, then the work becomes helping the helpers. So the people who already have a community so that you don't have to build community one by one. There's this person who's got a community of 1,000 women who've been through this trauma, like, how do I get into that circle? And if you're going to help people, then if you're going to help the survivors, and it's going to be something that has potential to scale. So like this, we're doing it as an Instagram, I'm helping you. And hopefully, yes, you are. And it's an Instagram Live that then maybe gets turned into a YouTube video so that hopefully other people get the value from it as well. So it's not just a one-on-one. Right? So it's a one-on-one, but it's at scale. So if you're going to be helping survivors, then do you have your own show where you're helping survivors? Do you do an Instagram Live once a day with a survivor and you, you coach her or you help her, you just hug her, or like, depending on where they're at, you meet people where they're at, you take them as far as they can go. Some people just sharing their story and not being judged and holding the space is the beginning of healing. Without even telling them anything about what to do, just listening and being an ear and not judging them is a great starting point for healing. So do you have some kind of show or some kind of at-scale, whether it's Instagram or TikTok or YouTube or newsletter where you're sharing people's stories or just something where it's not the one-on-one work? Because I love the one-on-one work. It's my favorite. Like, this is awesome. And it doesn't scale. And so if I want to impact the world, I need to be doing it at scale. And so same thing for you. If you want, like, how much one-on-one work do you want to do? And is there a way to turn it into something that other people can learn from as well? Because when Sharon from Nebraska comes on and shares her story and you're talking to her and you're helping her, people watching will see themselves in Sharon. And how courageous she is, and like, maybe I don't have to suffer alone too. And that becomes the goal. Like, hopefully people watching this, or maybe the replay on YouTube, if they have a movement that they're trying to get out to the world, they can use a lot of the same strategies we've talked about, even if trauma and sexual abuse is like not the things they're trying to solve, right?

Right.

So like, those two things is that help the helpers, and some kind of helping the survivors at scale through content. But then that just is rinse and repeat and rinse and repeat for the next 80 years of your life.

Beautiful. I can see it. I think this is a great, great— this has been amazing with what you've been able to offer me today. And I think it's a great starting point for me to— I can see I see the vision a lot bigger than I did before. And so I really feel like this has been incredibly helpful.

I love it.

Win. Win.

Win. That's great. And like the best part is you're doing it. You know, a lot of times we may feel like it's not enough because it like, how many people are struggling with this? How many women across America or around the world have struggled with this? It's probably even worse in other countries.

I mean, I don't know the stats, but I would say one in every three females. But I'm going to tell you, I would say it's much higher than that. I would say it's two in three.

I mean, globally, in some countries, it's definitely way worse. Yes, I would agree with that. And I don't know, like, how much you want to dive into that world or not, but like, even just in America alone, Or throw Canada in there too. You know, it's a big deal. And a lot of times you can look at like, it's not enough. Like I wrote a book and I made a video and it's not enough. It's not hitting enough people. And like, who am I to go and do this insane giant thing? And it's just every day taking another step. And you know, if you look at Me Too, when she started it a decade before Alyssa Milano, like you'll have your own Alyssa Milano moments with it too. But only if you keep every day laying another brick or plant another seed or watering that tree a little bit more. It's like in the day-to-day work that is fulfilling in itself. Yeah. Like helping the helper or doing an IG Live with somebody who— like you help that one person. It may not feel like it's doing the big mission, but all those little bricks that you plant every day, end up, you look back like, oh my God, I built a house. This is crazy.

Yeah, that's beautiful. I love this. I think this is super helpful and gives me a very, very specific way to approach my next steps.

Honestly, the biggest thing is the calendar. Like, now back to like dreaming in the clouds and how we're going to change the world and like, and then like making it tactical. Like, Yeah, there has to be a couple hours at least every week that you block off and you guard and defend and say like, this is super important to me. And 90% of the time when that's there, like, I'm gonna do it. Like, there may be some cases where something happens, but for the most part, like, you're showing up and doing it. And even if you don't know what you're gonna do on that day, like, here's Tuesday afternoon, I'm gonna spend 4 hours working on this mission and I don't know what to do next.

Cool.

You still work on it. You pray on it and you meditate on it and you ask for guidance on it. It's like that's in your calendar and something has to get done this week. And some weeks will be better, you know, and more productive than others. But like, if it's not in the calendar, it doesn't get done and remains just like hope and dream. And what often happens— and I'm not saying it's with you— but what often happens is like these start and stops and start and stops. It's like, okay, like book Oh, massive progress. Yes. Oh, cool. And then nothing for a while. And then, oh, video, like massive progress. Cool. And then nothing for a while where the real gains are made in like the everyday, every week, the consistency that I said I was going to do it. It's not as sexy. It's not as maybe fun as doing a new like video project. But if it's just these kinds of quick hits of projects, it doesn't end up actually having a huge impact that you're trying to have where it's It's just showing up every week, even when you doubt yourself, you don't know what to do, but it's in the calendar and I'm going to, I'm going to do something to move it forward a little bit.

Beautiful. And you're exactly right. I mean, it is in that long-term vision, the long-term goal and helping. It's that snowball effect. And so I think that I'm going to be putting in my calendar some non-negotiable time every single week, just like you mentioned. And I love the idea. Anxiety of having Instagram Lives and talking to survivors, victors, about their stories and really helping to identify the blocks that are keeping them from hanging on to it. What, what are the trauma responses that they keep finding themselves gravitating to and how can we start to disband that? So I think it'd be a beautiful opportunity to see, for others to see how this process works. And so I think those are some fantastic starting points. I even have a couple of organizations already that do work with trauma survivors and are interested in showing my video at trainings. At, you know, one of the things that I first started with at my first, the first point that I was going through my healing journey was a trauma-based retreat that allowed me to learn how trauma stored, how trauma is released. And that organization's huge. And they are, they are looking at the video right now. We'll see what happens.

Great. Okay, let me give you a bonus hack just around that. So, okay, so that's a huge organization that you're going after. Has any, any organization actually like done it yet?

Not yet. We just did this on Sunday, and those emails and connections went out yesterday. So I'm just waiting for some responses. These are— I included people that know these individuals personally, and So that's not just me throwing out an email and hoping that it lands.

Cool. Yeah, perfect. You're already using your advocates and your champions.

Great.

So what you do is once you get one, we want to use their name in future outreaches.

Okay.

So like, what's the name of one? Or like, what's one that you'd love to have? Or like, maybe not like the giant huge one, but what's an example of like a name of one that you would want to have?

So it used to be called the Younique Foundation, which is that Younique makeup company, but now it's called the Sapria Organization or Sapria Foundation. So that would be the one that I would just celebrate in order to get on their radar.

And where are they based?

Here in Utah, just outside—

Oh, there you go. And do they help mostly like Utah women or is it a, it's across?

Worldwide.

Got it. Supriya. Supriya. Okay, so, so that now becomes like Tuesday time or whenever, you know, whatever afternoon time, like Supriya has dedicated energy towards it, you know, and like, and even though you feel you've done everything, you pray on it and like, okay, what else can I do to help get this Supriya thing through? Who do I need to talk to? What do I need to manifest? Like, let's go get the Supriya thing has to happen and being super clear with the people in your tribe, in your audience to say, I want to get this at Supriya meetings, events, retreats, trainings, whatever they're doing, right? Because people will then, like, when you're specific like that, people will find ways to try to help you versus I want to get this to the world. Cool. But like, what's— what do I do? How can I help you? You know?

Yeah.

So once you get Supriya or you get some other organization, to do it, even if they're much smaller, you then use their name for all the future outreaches that you're doing. Well, like Supriya played it in there as a part of their retreat. And you mentioned their name in all the future emails so that there's a little bit more legitimacy and credibility that like they're not the first to do this and that there's— this is valuable and worth doing. And you— the bigger names you get, the more you use the bigger names, right? Like if I'm trying to book somebody on my interview show, to come on. You know, like, we're trying to get Oprah to come on and do the interview, right? Which is great. Oprah is doing like no interviews right now. Like, come on, Oprah, make it happen. Let's go. Oprah and Evan need to happen. You know, my team would like name-drop the people who we've had on that she might recognize, you know, that maybe were on her show, where there's like Deepak Chopra and Anthony Robbins and Matthew McConaughey and, you know, those kind of people. Now, because we've had them on and I can use them. So you're using those names and the bigger names you get, like if I get Oprah on, then I'm going to use Oprah's name in my future emails and maybe drop somebody else, right? So you build up. The second thing inside of that is if you get whoever, Supriya, you look at who's following them on social.

Okay.

Look at who follows them on Instagram. Look at who follows them on TikTok. Look at who follows them on Facebook. Look who follows them on Twitter. Who's following them? And there'll be like a Supriya will probably have a lot of people following them. I don't know how big, if they're a global organization, they probably have significant following, maybe not millions, but I don't know. But who are the helpers who are following them? Not the individuals.

Okay.

And then you outreach to them and there'll be a whole bunch of organizations who you've never heard of, who may not be in Utah or like they're smaller or, or maybe even bigger. You just never heard of them. And when you outreach to them, you say, well, Supriya is using our video in their training. Now they're much more likely to listen to you because you already know that they care about Supriya because they're following Supriya.

Hmm.

Beautiful.

So if you, if you wrote to me to say Supriya is using my training, how about we show your video? I don't know who Supriya is. So it means nothing.

Yeah.

But if they're already following Supriya, then you already know that they know Supriya and they care about them. Otherwise they probably wouldn't be following them. And so that can, that can one, be a great way to build the list of helpers to do outreach to, and also really dramatically increase your chances of getting a yes from them. And again, it doesn't have to be Supriya level. Like maybe there's just some local Utah church who has a women's support group that has 40 people show up every week. And that's the first, like, it doesn't have to be Supriya level global organization. It's this local church group and they have 400 followers on Instagram and you get in and your video is being played at the next church session that they're going to be doing and whoever is leading it says, wow, Wendy's video was amazing, thank you so much. Then the 400 people who are following them on Instagram are all great potential outreaches to you, especially if they're not just the the survivors, but they're the helpers, they're organizations. And you start to build this connection of all these people you can reach out to. And then you use the church group in the name, in the message out to them, say, hey, well, this church group just used the video. I'd love to show it to you as well. And it means something to them because they're following them on Instagram. Wow.

That's amazing. No wonder you have 3.5 million followers.

Bonus hacks. Bonus hacks, I love it. Cool, well, thank you, Wendy. For people who wanna find the video or learn more about you, where are they going?

Okay, so on Instagram, it's Wendy.Bunnel, two Ns, two Ls, N as in Nancy. YouTube, Wendy Bunnel. Facebook, Wendy Bunnel. All the things, Illuminate Your Essence, and also wendybunnel.com is my website. So you can find me anywhere by my name.

I love it and we love you. Thank you, Wendy. We'll see you soon. Okay, take care. To see me coach another entrepreneur one-on-one, check the video right there next to me. I think you'll love it. Continue to believe and I'll see you there.

It's not that we hate people, it's that we hate shallow conversations. Yeah, we want something that's deep and meaningful.

I forgot how I was going to open up my speech. Serving others is hardwired into us. It makes you feel good.

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