7 Ways to Unlock Powerful People Skills | Improve Your Leadership and Networking

Hello, Believe Nation! My name is Evan Carmichael. My one word is believe, and I believe that entrepreneurs will solve all of the world's major problems. So to help you on your journey today, I'm going to talk about 7 ways to improve your people skills. So I often get asked from entrepreneurs, how do I improve my people skills, Evan? I need help either with my customers, either when I'm marketing and going out to trade shows, meeting people or with my team, how to be a better leader, how do I improve my people skills? And so I thought I'd make this video sharing 7 different ways I think will help you in your challenge. So tip number 1 is decide what you want to improve. There's a lot of different things around people skills, and if you want to improve at all of them, it can be a challenge, and you may not even want to. So having focus gives you clarity and allows you to really improve. So as an example, do you want to improve your networking skills? Do you want to improve your leadership skills? Do you want to improve your social setting skills? You know, what is it exactly that you want to improve? When you can figure that out and just focus on the one most important thing, like maybe you really want to be a better leader, but you don't really care that much about networking. Or maybe you don't even have a team yet, you don't care about leadership skills. Maybe all you want to do is get more sales and you're going to events and you want to learn how to shake hands and make a connection really quick with people. Figure out exactly what it is that you want to learn. If you can get that focus and clarity, it's much more easier to make rapid progress achieving your goal. Step number 2 is model success. Uh, this is always a go-to for me. If you don't know what you're doing, if you're trying to learn something, one of the fastest ways to do it is find someone who's already done it and learn from them. Instead of you struggling and trying to figure it out, learn from somebody who's already gone out and done it. It'll massively shortcut your path to success, and you may not even figure it out, most of the things that you're trying, until you get that input. From someone else. And so again, having the clarity, you know, I want to be a master networker, great. Who is a master networker in your eyes? Go to YouTube, look at different videos. You can read different books, you can attend conferences, right? Like find the master networker. Or I don't care about networking, I care about leadership, great. Who are the leadership experts? How can I hang around them? How can I be with them as much as possible? Going to their events, reading their books, being around them, watching their videos. And I would highly encourage you not just to read content, not just to look at the how-tos, Because everybody will have, here are the 7 ways to do it, right? Everybody will have their list. But to feel it, to see how they do it, right? So if I'm making a video about how to write a book, right? Don't just watch the video about how to write the book, watch me document the process. I made, I don't know how many videos, I made over 50 videos documenting the process. Watch that, or watch somebody else going through the process. Having the how-to videos is great, it's a starting point, but a lot of the content is also going to come by just watching them. So, just reading an article about how to make an introduction to somebody versus watching somebody who's really good at it, doing it, and demoing it, and showing it, and guiding other people through it, you'll learn a lot more through that process than just by reading the article. And so, when you clearly identify, back to step 1, clearly identify what it is that you want to work on, Then go out and model success. Find the person who's the genius at it and try to be around them. Go to their event, see them do it live, watch their videos, and get their books, and read their content. But I want you to see it and feel it, 'cause when you can feel it on an emotional level and not just understand it up here, you're much more likely to retain it and take action. Tip number 3, practice, practice, practice. Like anything else, you wanna get better at something, you gotta practice. You gotta dedicate time to it consistently, every day to practice, to get better, to improve. So we've identified what it is about people skills we want to work on, we've modeled success and found the best people in the world at doing it, we've attended some of their events, we've watched their videos, we've read their books. Great, that's just knowledge. Like, it's not going to actually happen until you do something about it. You can understand how to do a jump on a snowboard, but you're not going to get the muscle memory and actually be able to perform it until you practice, and you're going to fall and fall and fall and fall and get better and practice. And so whatever it is you want to improve on, you've got to put in the reps. I've made 5,000 videos on on this YouTube channel, right? 1,000 of them are not even public. The 1,000 videos, which is more than most people do in general on a YouTube channel, that are not even public. I've just brought Lily on board my team. If you watched the Unlocking Lily series, and right now I'm filling up her schedule. You know, when she does an Unlocking Lily video, her first video took over 100 takes each time to get that best version. And she'll spend every Friday, the whole day, filming, filming, filming, filming, filming, hundreds of takes. And if you watch her first video, she's only done 3 videos, her first to the second to the third, you'll see that she's gotten way better at each one, but she's put in the work. And so I'm filling up her schedule, I'm giving her interviews, I'm giving her coaching sessions, I'm giving her entrepreneurs to talk to, I'm giving her opportunities to speak, opportunities to be in the video. She's— her schedule is just rammed full, right? She came here and she did 2 videos with me today, filming day, And she just came back from a coaching call and interview, then she had to rush back to do more coaching calls, more interviews. The whole day is full because she's putting in the reps, because she's really good now. But to get great, to get to where she wants to be, to build a million-dollar business around speaking and coaching that she wants to do, that I'm here to help her with, she's got to put in repetitions to get better. And so practice. Whatever you learn, whatever that thing is that you pulled from that expert that you want to learn, you got to put into practice and find somebody to work. So if it's networking, great, you've learned this skill. Now go out and practice. Like, going to one networking event a month is not going to do it. You've got to have multiple events per week. Practice networking on the subway. Like, every day you want to hone your skills and practice. If it's about rapport building, maybe you learn about how to match and mirror. So you're learning matching body language, right? If somebody's going like this, you kind of go like this, right? If somebody's arms crossed, then you start with your arms crossed, and you try to lead them to get them to have their arms open. That's when you know you've established some rapport, right? Matching and mirroring. Great! Practice that. Practice it with your family, practice it with your friends, right? Even without telling them, you're just practicing. And sometimes you're going to fail, especially at the beginning. You will suck. A lot of these methods won't work quite as you expect them to because you're just starting out and you suck. Expect that to happen. How you get better is you practice, practice, practice, practice, practice. Because you have the knowledge, you know what you're supposed to do, but you can't actually do it yet. You get it by putting in the work, doing the practice, and building your muscle.

We got it? We're in? Awesome. Misfit Nation has just taken over 7 Ways. Hi everyone, my name is Dave Lucas. I'm the host of the Misfit Entrepreneur Podcast, and we are tackling number 4 in 7 Ways in people skills this week. The answer I have for you is actually a 2-part answer. The first part is actually something that I learned from a mentor of mine that ran a Fortune 100 company, and I learned it many years ago. It goes like this: "If you want to know what John Smith buys, you have to see things through John Smith's eyes." What that means is that you really need to put yourself in the other person's shoes. You really need to understand what motivates them, what drives them, what they care about, what the levers are that really drive their decisions and why they do things. Once you understand that, understand what they want out of something, then it makes it that much easier to get what you want or be able to get the outcome that you're looking for, whether you're negotiating a deal, putting together a big project, or just want to work better with somebody. The second part of this actually is a concept made famous by Zig Ziglar, and that goes like this: if you help somebody get what they want, you'll get what you want and more. And really, it's the law of reciprocity. So the more that you are focused on helping others get what they want and accomplish the things they want, you'll be amazed at what it does for you. It'll come back to you tenfold. So when you pair those two together, Really understanding what drives someone, motivates them, and then looking for the best way to help them get there and make it mutually beneficial. Everybody wins, and that's the important thing. So that's number 4 in 7 ways this week. Hope you can take that and put it to work in your life right now and make a big difference. Thank you.

Tip number 5 is find something you're curious about. The easiest conversation to have with somebody, the easiest way to connect with somebody else, is through some kind of joint Love, right? So if you can find something that you are genuinely curious about them in, it's way easier to have a conversation. It's way easier to get to know them. So for example, for me, anything around entrepreneurship, I am genuinely gonna love to talk to you, right? If I find out that you're an entrepreneur, we are gonna have an amazing discussion. It's just gonna happen. You will immediately perk up my excitement, and I'm gonna wanna challenge you, talk to you, understand you, see how I can help you. Even if we only have 5 minutes together, I wanna be able to provide value. And get you on your path. It's just who I am. And so trying to find some kind of common ground between you and the other person will really help. Now you could do, if you know in advance anything about that person, you can stalk them on Twitter and Instagram and Facebook and YouTube and just kind of understand a little bit about them, what they may be interested in. And you don't want to lead with, "Hey, I saw that you loved horseshoes on Twitter. That's awesome. Tell me about horseshoes." Because if you don't actually care about horseshoes, then it's a disconnect and it's kind of creepy stalker scary. So you don't want to let them know that you've been following them them along on Twitter. But if you find something that's genuinely interesting, that's the key, right? And so you can start, if you don't know anything about them, you could start an event, well, how did they come to this event? You're both at this event, what motivated them to come here? How do they know the host? How did they find this place? Did they search for it online? What were their reasons for coming here? You know, that opens up a discussion and then you're looking for ways to genuinely be curious about the other person. If you can find any kind of genuine connection there, then it's easy to get them to talk about themselves and it's easy to form that rapport. Tip number 6 is understand their why. People love talking about themselves and I love getting people excited. So when I'm talking to entrepreneurs, I like understanding why they started their business. Because I want to get them pumped up. Like, if you are talking about something that is meaningful to you, that on a deep emotional level gets you feeling excited like this is your purpose, then it's so much easier to follow through on a conversation. If I'm talking to an entrepreneur, I ask them why they started their business, and they tell me this story about this deep meaningful connection to this product they're making or service they're making, and they started because of their parents, or whatever that backstory is, there has to be something there that fueled them to want to do this thing. And whether it's show up to this event, or choose that career path, or marry that person, whatever it is, like if you understand their why, and get them excited about it, it's much more easy to form a bond and a connection. When people ask me my why, and they genuinely care about it, like you have to actually care, you can't just fake it, say, "So why do you do this?" Like, with genuine curiosity, "Why do you do this thing? It's awesome," right? You'll get, if you ask me that, you'll get me being excited. If you get me telling an excited story, like I am now, then I'm much more likely to connect with you, I'm much more likely to want to do business with you, I'm much more likely to want to refer you, I'm much more likely to take whatever action it is that you want me to take. What steps do you want me to take? Even if it's just get to know each other, exchange contact information, whatever it is. If you can get somebody to explain their why on an emotional level because you genuinely care about it, then it's much more easy to build the rapport. And tip number 7 is help them with their goals. And this builds off of what Dave from Misfit Entrepreneur was saying. You want to try to help them accomplish what it is that they're trying to accomplish. I like to say internally to my team that the most dangerous thing that you can do is tell me what your goal is. 'Cause as soon as I know what your goal is or your dream is, now it's on my radar and I'm gonna try to make it happen for you. And I'm gonna push you to go off and do it. And when you say that you can't do it because of X, Y, Z, or whatever limiting beliefs you have, we're pushing through those things, baby. It's gonna happen. And so I try to do that with everybody I meet. Just, it's not even a strategy, it's just natural, just what I try to do. You don't even think about it, but now that we're kind of making a list of 7 things to do, it's one I think would be highly, highly, highly effective. When I went to ClamourCon recently, it was an event for YouTubers, one of my main things was every time I met somebody, I tried to introduce them to somebody else that could help. So there was Sean from Video Influencers who was trying to interview YouTubers. I asked him how many he had set up. I'm like, "What's your goal? What are you trying to accomplish? How many people are you trying to interview while you're here?" And he had this target. Like, "Well, how many have you done so far?" He's here. Great! If I find somebody that's relevant, do you want me to introduce you? Yes, that'd be amazing! Awesome! So every time I met an entrepreneur or YouTuber who had a certain channel size that I thought might be a fit for Sean's channel, I watch Sean's videos so I know what it's all about, I would introduce them. And Sean is happy, and the other entrepreneur is happy because they're getting exposure, and I'm happy that I was able to make that connection. It was to the point where Charlie from Charisma on Command, one of the channels that I love watching, I met him at ClamourCon, I introduced him to Sean, Nashawn, he's going to be a guest at Video Influencers. Charlie then went to his channel, he made a video about how to network as an introvert, which is me, and the video was basically about me and my strategies at ClimberCon and how amazed he was at all the connections I was able to make despite not really knowing a lot of people. And a lot of it was just based on this, it's not that I'm some genius, it's just I meet somebody, I understand their why, I ask questions about them, I try to figure out what their goal is, Not from a strategic point of view, it's just how I think. And then I just keep that in my head. This person's trying to accomplish this. I meet somebody else, like, "Huh, you guys might— do you know Charlie?

Do you know Sean?

Do you know this guy?" I just try to make those natural connections. It's just something that I think if you do it, if you try to help other people with their goals, it's always going to come back to you. It may not be in a way that you recognize or that is immediate, but it comes back. Another quick example, on my trip to LA not too long ago, I took my, my TVS team to see Tony Robbins in LA and I stayed back an extra day to do meetings. I had a meeting with Brian Grazer, the legendary Hollywood producer. His assistant reached out to me because Brian wanted to meet with me one-on-one. I met with Lewis Howes later on that afternoon from School of Greatness and I was on his YouTube channel. We did an interview there, you guys can check out, it's pretty fun. And then I had a couple other meetings, met with fans and then I came back. 2 weeks ago I was watching a video on Lewis's channel with Wyclef Jean, and Wyclef from the Fugees was talking about Bryan Grazer and saying this guy is one of the top guys in Hollywood history and somebody who you need to have on the show. And Lewis was saying, "Yeah, wow, that sounds really interesting." I wrote to Lewis and said, "Hey Lewis, I saw Wyclef on your show. He name-dropped Bryan Grazer. You looked interested. I actually met Bryan a couple hours before I met you when I was in LA. I can set up the intro if you want and see and see maybe where that goes. And he said, "That'd be amazing, thank you so much." And so I introduced Lewis to Bryan's assistant, and maybe something happens, maybe something doesn't happen, you know, maybe it doesn't work out, maybe they become mortal enemies, who knows? But chances are they're going to connect, something's going to work out, and both Lewis and Bryan will be grateful that I was the one who made that connection. Now I'm not keeping scores, it's not like, "Hey Lewis, I introduced you to Bryan, so now you owe me this for my book or my whatever." It's not really how it works, it's not really about keeping scores, but one, it just feels good to help people, and two, if you help people and it's consistent, then it comes back to you. It just always does. And so when you're talking to people, understand what their main goals are. What are they trying to accomplish? What are their dreams? And then think, how can I help them? It may be an introduction, it may be just giving them a push, you know, beyond their limitations. It may just be believing in them, it may just be checking in and seeing how they're doing. Finding ways to help them accomplish their goal makes a huge, huge, huge difference. So those are my 7 ways on how to improve your people skills. I made this video because Amrivan Bonano asked me to. So if there's a topic you'd like me to cover in a future 7 Ways video, check out the link in the description and go and cast your vote. Hopefully you're going to win and we'll see some content coming soon. I'd love to know what did you think of this video? What was your favorite tip? What are you going to immediately apply somehow to your life or to your business? Is there anything that you want to add to the list that I missed? Leave it in the comments below. I'm really curious I'm curious to see what you guys have to say. I also want to give a quick shout out to Dave Lucas from the Misfit Entrepreneur. Dave, thank you so much for being in this video as well as posting the picture of my book while you're on the beach. I really appreciate the support, man, and I'm so glad you enjoyed the read. So thank you guys so much for watching. I believe in you. I hope you continue to believe in yourself and whatever your one word is. Much love. I'll see you soon.