BREAKING Confidence Barriers | 7 Empowering Habits for Unstoppable Growth!

Hello, Believe Nation. Today I'm gonna talk about 7 ways to become attractive on the inside. So I find that a lot of entrepreneurs are self-conscious. They may not have the self-confidence that they're looking for. They rely too much on other people's validation and acceptance. And I get that it can be hard when you're starting a business, you don't have customers, you don't have momentum, you're not making money, you may be losing money, you're afraid of failure, you're afraid of how people might judge you, and if you're out there and you're not being successful. And so today's video is important because I wanna share the things that will help you love yourself more, be more attractive to yourself, which will help project a better image out, but also allow you to have more success in your business. So number 1 is be grateful. There's a lot of studies that show the connection between gratitude and happiness, and it's an amazing practice to get into a daily habit of being grateful for the things that you have around you. One of the things that I do with my team is every day we have a private Facebook group and we share 3 things that we're grateful for as part of our morning routine. And some of them could be major life important things if you're thinking about your friends and family and your health and all that, and some of them may be just silly things that you may not think about on a regular basis. You know, I'm grateful for YouTube, I'm grateful for the internet. You know, if the internet was not here, I would not have the business that I have right now, so it's something to be grateful for. And what you'll find is the more you do that, the more you are grateful, the more you appreciate the things that are around you, the more likely you're going to be happy, the less likely you're going to need the acceptance and approval of others, and the less you're going to worry about how people judge you, the more confidence you're going to have, the less you're going to worry about things that you might lose if something bad happens in your business, the more you're going to be able to better handle the ups and downs that come with the entrepreneurial life. And so it's a practice that I recommend to everybody. At least try it out for a week. Start the morning thinking about 3 things that you're grateful for. And see if you don't feel happier throughout the day and also by the end of that week. Number 2 is create habits to remind yourself. For a lot of people, this is what really makes the difference between lasting change or just having a blip and then falling back into the life that you had before. Because a lot of people get inspired by a speech or they watch a video or they read a book or they hear an interview and then say, "Yeah, I'm gonna make that change. I'm gonna be more grateful. I love that point. I'm gonna go and just be more grateful every day." Today you're grateful, but then the next day you forget, and the next day you forget, and then you've forgotten about that entire plan that you had. And like, how many times has that happened to you? And so what's important is that if you want to make a change in your life, that you form a habit around it so that you can be consistent around anything, around making sales calls, around working out, around eating healthier, around drinking more water, around working on your website, whatever it is. If you schedule it into your calendar, you're much more likely to stick with it. So for example, in my group, we made it a, a private group, but there's a bunch of us in it where every day in the morning we have to say the things that we're grateful for. And because I know other people are gonna be reading it and they're posting theirs too, I'm much more likely to come and follow through. And it's in my calendar, so it shows up every day that I have to do this thing. And so creating that routine for yourself is really important. Schedule it in, book some accountability, whatever it is that you wanna work on. So another example, when my wife and I are lying in bed about to go to sleep, we ask each other one thing that we're happy about that happened today. It's a new experiment that we're running with. And it's interesting to see the things that we're both happy for, and it helps also relieve the pressure and the stress, 'cause sometimes you just have a really stressful day, a lot of bad stuff happened, and being forced to think about something that went well that day can be hard, but also changes their perspective that, you know what, it wasn't that bad a day after all, and my life, you know, is actually pretty good. And so again, being able to share that and building it into a regular routine is super helpful. So whatever it is that you want to stick to, if it's a gratitude thing or what you love about the day, put it in your schedule and commit to somebody else so you create a routine and a new habit that helps it stick. Number 3 is help others instead of just trying to make a show for others. I find a lot of reasons why we're not happy and we're not self-confident and we're not loving ourselves enough is we're always trying to just win the approval of others. And you buy the stuff that you don't really need to impress people that you don't really care about, right? And so the way around that is to approach it in a much more genuine way where you are trying to interact with somebody to help them not to show off to them. So it doesn't matter what new gear you bought or how many records you set or what you did yesterday as a way of showing off to them, but connecting with them in a way that you're understanding what their fears are, what their goals are, what they're trying to accomplish, what their ideal life looks like, and how you may be able to help support them on that path. Whether it's just listening to them and being an ear to help them, or maybe you can actually contribute something along their path. When I sit down with all the people at Toronto Dance Salsa, every quarter I have a meeting with the people on my team individually, and I always ask them, "What's the ideal version of your life? What does that look like for you? What are you doing?" And then I try to figure out how can I do my best to help them along that path. Even if it's just listening to them and giving them encouragement, and they might be afraid of taking some of the steps they need to take, and giving a little bit of a push, that can help. But maybe through the business, as a business owner, maybe I can help them, give them more opportunities, or train them, or give them some other chance to do that thing that they really want to do. Or maybe it's my connections in the entrepreneurial world and the stuff that I've learned and the videos that I've watched. If there's something that they are really concerned about learning about, growing through, I can push them onto resources that might help. But it's not about me trying to show off to them, and it shouldn't be about you trying to show off to people and look at me and look how great and successful I am. Meanwhile, you go home and you're really afraid about how you can show up the next time. Instead of that, focus your energy in trying to help others because that is what really nourishes and fulfills the soul. The number 4 way to being attractive on the inside is step into the fear of being judged. Anytime that you feel yourself cowering away from a situation, being afraid, not wanting to do something because you're afraid of how other people will look at you, will think about you, then you have to go and do that thing. And this is something that I have trained myself to do, that whenever I'm afraid of how somebody will judge me for something, then I have to go and do that thing to release the fear. 'Cause usually they don't care, and if they do, why am I so concerned with other people's opinions of me? So an example, I talked about on this channel about the different colored socks that I wore on purpose because I was afraid of how people might judge me for wearing different colored socks. An older story I told was where I was walking to Toronto Dance House and I was dancing, you know, grooving, had my music on and dancing on the street, and then I got to the intersection and then as I got closer I saw people and so I just now kind of conformed to what everybody else was doing. And I thought, well, this is silly, why am I doing this, right? And because I was afraid, because I was uncomfortable. And so I forced myself to, on the street, on the busy street, Start dancing again, right? And so whenever you feel like you are doing something because you're afraid of being judged, then step into that fear. As another example, earlier this week, Alex from Toronto Dance Salsa bought a selfie stick so he could do Snapchats more. And he could— like, there's a button on the selfie stick that can record his Snapchat. He's all in on Snapchat at the moment, but he doesn't want to do it in public. He's like, oh, I don't want to do it in public because people might feel like I'm really narcissistic and a big egomaniac. But he's willing to do it in private, right? And because of that fear of being judged, now I'm forcing Alex to go out and do it because you need to release it. You need to get that out of your system. And the more you do that, just like a muscle, the more comfortable you'll get doing it over and over and over and over again. So if you want to love yourself, you want to feel attractive, you want to be outwardly attractive as well, then it starts by stepping into the fear of being judged so that you can release it. Number 5 is spend more time with yourself. Now this might be an introvert thing, you know, this is my list and I'm more introverted. I need to spend time with myself. If I don't, I get antsy, I get nervous, I get stressed. I can't just be around people all day long. I need my own time. I need my time with my family, I need my time just me and my wife, and I need my time just by myself. Nobody around me. If I don't get that, I start to stress out a little bit. But I think also in general, we spend way too much time to the last point of just trying to please other people and try to be in the in-group and fit in and always be invited to the parties. And you don't spend enough time with yourself thinking about, what do I really want? You know, what do you really want? What makes you happy? Where do you want to spend your time? Instead of just catching up on Facebook and being a part of the group all the time where you don't have your own identity, it's only that group's identity or someone else's identity. Spending time to really understand what you want out of life and who you are as a person, where you want to really be spending your time, is important. And having regular check-ins, whether that's once a month, once a week, once a quarter, depending on your personality, I think it's important. And again, I think introverts might need that a little bit more. But if you do it and you really truly more deeply understand yourself and spend more time with yourself, you'll be happier and you'll have more success. Number 6 is have an environment of attractiveness. And so what I found is not just scheduling it in, not just, you know, writing things down, but the entire environment around you has to support you on the goals that you want to do. So what makes you feel attractive on the inside. Like, what speech did you watch? And then can you turn that into a poster that you put on your wall? If you look at the videos that I have when I film at my home, I've got 5 pictures behind me. Each of those represents something else. Some of them are from a specific speech, some of it's just a reminder that when I look at it and I walk into my office, I feel different. And that's the point. When I made my closet at home, I wanted the closet to inspire me, and I told that to my wife. I need the closet to inspire me. And so people open my closet and they say, say, are you Batman or Superman? Like, why is everything the same? But I did that for me because I wanted to be inspired when I opened up that closet. I don't care what other people think about how I organize my closet. And so thinking about your own environment, think about your workspace, think about where you're working right now as you're watching this video. What's around you? Is the environment around you allowing you to be that best version of yourself? Does it allow you to feel more attractive to yourself? Do you feel like you're adding a lot of value, you're gaining momentum? Or is it neutral? Or is it negative? 'Cause a lot of times we surround ourselves with people who just beat us down, bring us down. We fill our heads with media and news that's negative, that doesn't support us, that's irrelevant to our goals, right? So instead of just living your life by accident and having an accidental environment and being just reactionary, being more purposeful with the people we spend time with who build us up, with the books that we read, with the videos that we watch, with our physical surroundings, with the music we listen to, with the food that we eat. All of that is really important to helping you be that best version of you. And the number 7 way to become attractive on the inside is to love what you do. If you wanna feel confident, if you wanna feel attractive, you have to love what you're doing. It's really hard to feel confident and attractive when you're doing work that you hate. 'Cause when you're doing work that you hate, you're probably not having a lot of success at it. Right, you're not moving up the ladder, you're not getting momentum, You're not making the money you want, you're not getting the impact that you want, you're not getting the recognition, credibility, you're not getting the growth, you're not getting any of that stuff because you're doing work that might be beneath you or that you don't feel challenged by or that you don't want to learn more about. Where if you're doing something that you love, then you're going to engulf yourself in it, then you're going to love it, right? You're going to spend the time on it, you're going to hustle in it, you're going to feel confident about it, you're going to— can't wait to go back and do it. And that is attractive. Right, to yourself and also to others. If people see you— you've probably seen this in some of your friends, the people around you— where you see them all of a sudden come alive, you're like, well, what happened? Like, well, I started this business, or I took this course, or meeting this new person that really makes me feel alive. And so the more you can do that during your day, right, spending time on the work that you love— and if you're in a job that you hate, maybe it's time to move on. And doesn't mean you have to start a business, but go find a job that makes you come alive. Or if you are an entrepreneur, make sure you're doing the work inside your business business that has your genius-level talent applied to it, that you could be the best in the world at, that makes you come alive, that fulfills you, 'cause that's gonna make you love yourself more, that's gonna make you filled with more confidence, and ultimately that's gonna lead to you having the success that you're after. So those are my tips on the 7 ways that you can become attractive on the inside. I'd love to know what you guys think. What did you like, what did you not like? Which one resonated the most with you? Is there an 8th, 9th, or 10th one that should be added to the list? Leave your comments below. I'm going to join in the discussion. Finally, I want to give a quick shout out to Matthew from Katraw.com. Matthew, thank you so much for all the support on the channel and for picking up a copy of my book. If you guys watching, if you want a chance at a future shout out in a video, make sure to grab a copy of the book and email in your receipt so that I can keep track. Thank you guys so much for watching. Continue to believe, or whatever your one word is, and I'll see you soon.