Change Your Beliefs - I'm a walking failure story

I am a walking failure story. So I got a great question, a sad question from one of my followers, Monica. Love you guys, who wrote in to say, hi Evan, I'm literally a walking, talking, complete opposite of you failure story. I tried to turn things around many times, but it's difficult when the buildup is so big and the mistakes just make things sink so much deeper. I just turned 30 not too long ago. I'm at the point where I'm just ready to give up on success. I wish I didn't say that because really I don't want to give up, But I'm at the age now when people are like, "Well, what happened? You aren't in your 20s anymore, so why are you here?" My passion is in illustration and art design. The last thing I'm going to try is sort of my swan song, which is an attempt to illustrate my own stories. But this in itself is by far the riskiest and least likely for success of all the things I've tried. Is there a way to build something out of nothing? I know I won't get support from my friends or family. Everyone thinks it's ridiculous that I have failed so badly up until this point. No one wants to talk to me. Is it even possible to make something happen by myself? Is it possible to start this last risky venture and make it work? Thanks for your awesome videos and website. Monica. Monica, it's a great question, and, and I really feel for you. I feel, I feel sad reading your message, and I want you to know that you're not alone. Almost every single entrepreneur has gone through or is going through what you're going through now. And the most successful ones, if you look back on their career, they failed, they failed, they failed, they failed, they failed their way to success. I was the guy making $300 a month, feeling like I had no self-worth, trying to cling on to any bit of dignity and value that I could, telling my partner that I quit, feeling like a total failure. And, uh, that's why running a business is one of the hardest things you're ever going to do in your life. Chasing your dreams is not easy. That's why most people don't get there. I want you to first know that you're not alone, that everybody's going through this. There's tons of people going through this right now, and that if you are really committed to your dream, you have to continue on. And I have 3 bits of advice for you that hopefully will help you get to a place of happiness from where you are now. Even as I'm talking, I've lost energy and I'm feeling sad. So I want you to climb out of this hole. The very first thing that you need to do is change your beliefs. You know, you have a belief system right now of failure. All you've known is failure. Your environment supports failure, right? Your friends, your family, they don't support you. Everybody thinks you're ridiculous. You know, you're surrounded by so much failure, you're surrounded by such a negative environment that if you go out and try to launch this new business with all you have is failure on your mind, you're going to fail. It's gonna continue to fail. Everything you touch will keep failing because all you've surrounded yourself with is failure and a negative attitude. And I get that that's where you've come from because you have this, you have a whole bunch of stuff around you that keeps bringing you down. Well, you need to start changing that belief system. And the two things I suggest, the first one is surround yourself with stories that build you up. I would look at entrepreneurs who have done what you wanna do. You say you wanna be in art and illustration design. Look at Walt Disney, look at Calvin Klein, look at Pablo Picasso, look at artists that you look up to and respect, and look at their stories of how they got started, right? How they went from their idea to making their first, you know, big win. How did they get through that? Because chances are it was through a lot of failure. I love Walt Disney, he's one of my favorite entrepreneurs of all time, and I know his story, and you know, that story still inspires me. When he was getting started. His first company was selling Laugh-O-Grams, and that company went bankrupt. You know, it failed, and he was so poor that he had to live out of his office. He couldn't afford rent. And he finally had a big hit with Oswald the Lucky Rabbit, and then his distributor stole it from him and left him with nothing. He had to start all over again, and he kept going. And that led to Mickey Mouse, and that led to a huge creation for him. But he failed and failed and failed and failed and risked everything, and people thought he was crazy, and he eventually made it. And that's the story of a lot of successful entrepreneurs. And so what I found was by reading those success stories, it made me feel a little less crazy, right? It made me feel more like, hey, maybe I could do this too. You know, that guy Walt Disney is not so different than me. Bill Gates is not so different than me. And their stories of early failure inspired me to want to keep going and start to change the belief system that I had. Because in my family, I don't have successful entrepreneurs. You know, people in my family were government workers and in politics and, you know, career people. And so I couldn't look up to anybody and say, I'm gonna be like you. Now, they didn't bash me. They didn't say, we don't support your dream. They're really supportive, but but I didn't have role models to look up to. And so those stories that I read, those famous entrepreneurs, started changing my belief system and made me believe in myself that, hey, these guys can do it, so I can do it too. So look at who your favorite famous entrepreneurs are, find their stories, and start to get inspired. The next thing I would do is start to hang out in your industry. You say you like art and design, and start to hang out with those people, right? If your friends and your family don't get it, they think you're ridiculous, stop hanging around them and start hanging out with the people who do get it, who love it, who— you know, I want you to start feeling some hope again. I want you to start feeling inspired. I want you to come alive again. You know, it sounds like you haven't had that in your life for a long time. And when you are surrounded by people who share the same vision as you, who are excited with you, they give you energy and momentum and connections and ideas, and they build you up. And that's what you need. You know, I just started, as an example, a new venture in the League of Legends world. That's a video game, and you know, nobody in my family plays computer games, and they don't understand what it's all about, and my friends don't really get it either. But that's okay. I'm not hanging out with them. You know, I'm not trying to convince them that this is a good idea. Instead, I'm spending my energy hanging out in those circles, right? I'm going to events and going to screenings and hanging out with the players and the artists and and the people who are involved in that community and making connections and getting coached, building up a YouTube channel, you know. And so hanging around people who get it build it up for me, give me energy. They're teaching me stuff, right? We're feeding off of each other. It's way better than me just trying to create it in isolation and just being pounded on people who are saying that this is a stupid idea, it's never going to work. So one, start reading those stories. And then, 2, start hanging around in your industry to get excited and fall in love and get some hope back. Okay? That's how you change your belief system at the start. The second bit of advice I have is get a mentor. You know, I'm honestly scared for you to see this last venture as your swan song. You're gonna put everything into it. If that doesn't work, then what do you do, right? I don't know. I'm honestly a little bit scared for you. And so I would say don't start this now because you're not ready. Instead, go and get a mentor and find someone who's in your industry who you look up to and say, I want to be like that person. You know, I could see myself being that person. And they can give you the guidance to help you not make mistakes, to help you learn the ropes, to help you make industry contacts. And, you know, the first mentor that I had— I had nobody growing up, okay? I had nobody to talk to about my business besides my business partners. And we felt lost and confused and failing and struggling. And the first mentor I found was actually through my bank, right? Like, I had so little contacts, the only person I could think of was to go to my bank. I didn't even know anybody there. I just made an appointment and went in and said, hi, I'd like to talk to you about how I can grow my business. I don't need a loan, I don't need money, but I don't know what to do to grow my company. And they took pity on me, or they liked my story, and they introduced me to somebody. And, you know, that person couldn't help me, but he introduced me to somebody who introduced me to somebody. And then that last person became my first mentor in business. His name was John. And that was going from a place of total despair, total unhappiness, total lack of connection and resources, and just doing something about it and talking to the only place I could think of, the bank. And it led me eventually, you know, I hung at it, I hung out. You know, the first one didn't work, next one didn't work, the third guy did, and that was John. And he showed me the ropes and he gave me advice and wisdom. And, and I don't know if my business would have done well without him. I may have quit. And so I want the same thing for you. I want somebody to help guide you along your path, somebody who doesn't think you're crazy, someone who recognizes your art and your talent and your creativity and and can see the future direction for where you can go. You know, someone who can teach you things that would take you forever to learn on your own and that you definitely never learn from your friends or family. And that comes from hanging out in the industry and starting to get to know people and letting people see your passion and vision and starting to make some connections. You know, and that comes from you getting out there. So you gotta do that. Get that mentor before you launch your business. And number 3 is start part-time. You don't need to jump all in. You don't need to, you don't need to, you know, put every last dime you have into this idea. Start working for somebody part-time. Start working for somebody full-time and start your business on the side. You know, get to figure out, is that the industry you want to get into? If you want to make your own book by illustrating designs, go work for somebody who's doing exactly that, right? Who's making illustrations for books and see if you like it. See if you enjoy it. See if that makes you come alive. See if you start to have hope and excitement and meaning. Meaning again in your life. And if that's it, then you can continue on and start your business on the part-time side, you know, evenings, weekends, whatever it is. And if that's not it, then you've learned and you've gotten paid to learn, and go find something else that you feel excited and passionate about. And you may bounce from one job to another to another, but hopefully each time it gets you closer to a path that feels right. And I would encourage you throughout this whole thing is to follow your flow and follow what What excites you and follow again what makes you come alive because that's gonna really make the difference to build you out of this deep hole that you've dug yourself into. I hope that helps. I really feel for you. I want you to be successful and I want you to realize your talents and I know what it's like to be beaten up by the little man. And I'd like to see your art, you know, and for those of you watching, if you have suggestions, if you want to share your story, you want to give some advice and feedback, please leave in the comments below. I'm sure Monica will be watching. And Monica, you know, I'd love to see an example of your art too. Share a link so everybody can see all the great work that you're up to and where your talent lies. And hopefully by having a little bit of momentum from the Believe Nation community, that'll inspire you to keep going and following your dreams. If you guys like this video, subscribe to the channel. Thank you so much for watching. I'll see you soon. Every week I share inspiring and motivational stories that really mean something to me that I hope you'll check out in my newsletter. That are below.