How Raising Your Hand Can UNLEASH Unshakable Confidence

So first, let's start with a high five. Like, think about when in your life you have either given or received high fives. What does a high five from someone else, or a high five that you're giving to somebody else, communicate? You're on the same team. You're like, you give it to somebody when their attitude's going down. Come on, keep going, pick your attitude up. You give it to somebody in celebration. And so a high five communicates support and empowerment and partnership. It's so powerful, and we're so good at giving all of those things to other people. And everybody, especially women, we cheer for friends. We create birthday parties. We're so good at cheering for our favorite musicians and buying people stuff. We are horrendous at giving that same support and celebration to ourselves. In fact, we not only don't give ourselves support and celebration, we do the opposite. We tear ourselves down and we beat ourselves up and we pick ourselves apart. And every single woman I know is constantly saying, how the fuck do I put myself first? You put yourself first by doing for yourself what you've been doing for everybody else, because that's how everybody else became first in your life.

Hey, it's Evan Carmichael, and I make these videos because when I started my first business, I really struggled to believe in myself. I was making $300 a month and quit on my business partner. And the thing that saved me was watching the stories of successful entrepreneurs. They gave me strategies as well as hope and belief that just maybe I could do it myself as well. And I hope that this video here today helps you get a little bit more belief in yourself because I still need the videos for myself today too. So today let's learn the unwritten life rules that everyone should know.

Enjoy.

You need to start to cheer for, support, and validate yourself, period. I realize now that I'm high-fiving myself that I have spent the first 40 years of my life either criticizing my reflection or ignoring it. How sad is that? It's incredibly heartbreaking and yet extremely familiar to me.

Yeah.

And I think a lot of women. Yeah. And believe it or not, a lot of men. There's a lot of men that don't want to look themselves in the eye in a mirror and be with themselves because they're so focused on the things that they haven't achieved or the things that they failed at. And so they're ignoring themselves. They're not being with themselves. And so first things first, when you take a moment in the morning to just stand in front of the mirror and be with yourself, and then you raise your hand in a gesture that you have always associated with celebration, support, belief, and empowerment with other people, there's a number of things that happen that can be proven by research. First things first, this is research out of Harvard. It's recent. They've shown in studies that simply taking a minute in the morning to get intentional about who you're going to be today and how you're going to show up changes your productivity. It changes your level of confidence. It changes how impactful you are as a leader at work and in life. So this moment in the mirror is not to be diminished. This is a moment for you to be able to take a moment and intentionally align yourself with who you're going to be. Second piece of research is from a field of study called neurobics. It basically means when you marry a physical action with something, a thought that's unexpected, you accelerate the development of new neural pathways. And there's famous studies that have proven that if you brush with, like, your non-dominant hand while you're thinking something, it sticks in your mind because you have to focus. Well, the same is true when you raise your hand and high-five your own reflection. You see, you've been doing this for your entire lifetime. So there's already subconscious programming here, Lisa. The second that you raise your hand like this, it is so programmed in your mind to associate belief, cheering, empowerment, celebration, you know, with the high five itself that it's impossible to go, God, I hate my neck. Boy, is that cellulite ugly. You can't do it because this part of the mind immediately takes over and does all the positive stuff with a high five. It's crazy. Try it tomorrow morning. You will not be able to criticize yourself. Now there's another piece of research around this, which is, you know, when you do a high five, we did one, the first one we did, right? We didn't quite hit each other in the right, like, good smack. So what did we do?

We did it.

Correct. Because a good high five requires you to be present and intentional. Isn't that cool?

Yeah.

Oh, that was a little high five. And so what I started to notice was that I was in real time shifting my relationship to myself. Instead of criticizing the woman I saw in the mirror or ignoring her, I was developing a partnership, a trust, a sense of self-validation, a I have my own back. I see you, Mel Robbins. We're going to have a great day today. We got this. No matter what it is that life is going to throw at us, you got this. That's how it all started. And then of course I put it on my story after a couple weeks of doing it, and people around the world started to post them pictures of themselves doing it. And then all of their stories started rolling in about the difference that it was making. There was one woman that said that she's been struggling with this more body dysmorphia for 20 years, cannot look in the mirror, and after 5 days of doing this can stare at herself in the eyes with a grin. 5 days. 5 days. And the reason why is because of the lifetime association that you have with doing this for other people. So when you try this tomorrow, here's what I want you to do. Stand in front of your bathroom mirror and take a moment and just be with yourself for a second. And then if there's resistance to raising your hand and high-fiving your own reflection, what is that resistance? And here's some of the sad things that people are saying that I think ring true for all of us. I think most women can relate to this. I think guys tend to have a reaction that's more in the, I must be weak if I need this. When the fact is, if you've played team sports, you know damn well that there's nothing more motivating And there's no inspirational force that's more empowering than being cheered for by your teammates. That belief that they have in you transfers to a belief that you have in you. And so we know instinctively how powerful this is, and yet we have been trained to deny it to ourselves, that somehow if you have to empower yourself, you're weak.

Bullshit.

If you empower yourself, you're strong, you're smart. And so with women, and we have You know, with men too, but I found this to be the case with a lot of women. And this is super sad that there is this belief that if I've done nothing that's worth celebrating, I don't deserve celebration, that I don't deserve celebration until I lose the weight and get to that number on the scale.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't deserve celebration until I get that job, until I'm dating somebody, until I buy that house, until I get through. And that's the opposite of what you actually need. You need celebration and support so that you can do those things that you deserve and you want in your life. And so here you are withholding the very thing that you need— support, celebration, love. You're waiting for somebody else to come waltzing in and give it to you, which they're not going to. And the secret to life is learning how to give yourself the support, the celebration, the validation that you as a human being need. So that's one thing that women feel. The second thing is this idea that if you are somebody that celebrates herself, you're a bitch, right? That there's something wrong with you if you call attention to you. And that may be because your mom, you know, kind of didn't call attention to herself and was uncomfortable being the center of attention. Maybe you got the messaging that you needed to be seen and not heard. Maybe it got reinforced in your family that you're supposed to be the good one or the quiet one or the, you know, nice one or the conscientious student or the this or the that, that there was a role for you to play. And that if you stand there and validate yourself, that somehow it means that you're not all those things that other people need from you. It's complete and utter bullshit. And let me tell you why. When you were born, celebration, validation, all of that stuff was hardwired in you. Literally. When you were learning to crawl, you saw a mirror, you would crawl up to that mirror. Have you ever seen a baby go to a mirror? They like put their hands on it, looking at it.

They love it.

It's amazing. Love their face. That's in your DNA. That's what you are born— you're born to love the sight of yourself. Your life trained you that you're not supposed to do that. And so I'm on a mission to make everybody on the planet understand, because this is both for men and women. It doesn't matter where you are in terms of gender and what— or all genders that you identify with. Every human being has 3 fundamental emotional needs: to be seen, to be heard, and to be celebrated for the unique person that you are. We all love watching these videos go viral of caregivers coaching little kids to be like, I'm brave, I'm awesome, I'm this. And yet as an adult, somehow we think it's stupid to stand in front of a mirror and tell that to yourself. You need to hear it. And you're sad because nobody in your life is telling you it starts with you. The other thing that goes viral all the time are teachers standing outside of classrooms, right? Giving every kid an individual handshake. Why? Because that handshake alone makes somebody feel seen and acknowledged and supported. And I'm here to tell you, if you want that, and you do want that, you need it. It is the most powerful source of motivation on the planet to feel those things. It starts with you. And it can start every single morning with a simple high five in the mirror.

Rule #2 is Use Your Ability to Create with Bob Proctor.

Why is goal creation an art? That's an interesting question. And I think it's a question that deserves an answer. Let's think of this. You and I are creators. We have creative ability. We've been created in God's image. We've got faculties of the mind that will change everything. See, the art of goal creation It is truly a creative process. The definition of creation is the manipulation of energy. You're causing one type of energy to move to another type of energy. Think about that. This energy may never have moved in that direction before until you came along. You play an enormous role in your own life. You can dictate where you're going to go, what you're going to do. You can control exactly what you want to create in this life. Goal creation is an art because we are truly creating, and that's why it's an art. And you know, one day Sandy Gallagher and myself, who is my business partner, she and I sat down and she said, what we should do is set a goal to create our own TV station, or set a goal to create our own studio, where we could broadcast all over the world. And you know, that sounded so preposterous when we first sitted, but then we stopped and we thought, listen, we teach people that they can do things that appear preposterous, that we have this creative ability. And so we decided that's what we do. Now, right now I'm operating in that studio. It's a magnificent studio. I do have cameras coming out of the ceiling, and then I have another camera where I can be working here on this flip chart and I can shoot that all over the world. So I can be giving instructions regardless of where I am. But what we've also got is something that's rather unique. We've got a green screen. So do you see in our studio, we can literally go anywhere in the world and it comes right out across the floor. Now we have built this place and we built a, a control room here Young Scott, who is our studio director, he can operate from here in this studio, or he could come in from anywhere in the world and operate this studio from there. That's the way he's got the whole place set up. See, you see, we've got something here that's rather magnificent, and it's built the way we wanted it because we have the ability to create. That's why we call it the Art of Gold Creation. There's no limit to what we can do. The man that built this studio, his name's Mike Marandola. Said he had never built anything like this before, where they built the building and then they built the studio inside the building so that there's no noise from outside. We can completely cut off any sound from outside. It's what you call a floating sound. Why am I showing you this? I'm showing you this because we use what we teach. You see, it's not an accident that maybe just 2 or 3% really reach their goals. That is not an accident. Most people don't go about the goals the proper way. See, if you knew how to reach your goal, the goal isn't any good, you're going sideways. Goals are not to get, that's a side benefit. Me getting this studio is a side benefit. Goals are to grow. It causes you to raise your level of consciousness. I love what we've created here. Sandy and I look at this place and we love it. We absolutely love it. It's a marvelous place to work. I get up in the morning and I can come into my studio and I can begin creating. That's how I want to live my life. You can do that. Get involved in the art of goal creation. Look at goals from a way you never looked at them before. It'll change your life. I don't care where you're at. I don't care if you're broke and you haven't got any idea how to get to wherever you're going. Learn the art of goal creation. I guarantee your life will change.

Rule number 3 is trust your intuition with Lisa Nichols.

You know, when you want to learn how to trust your intuition more, you know, I say, and this is me and my walk and my, my belief system, that your intuition is your internal GPS. System, your internal God placement system. It's that whisper, and sometimes it's that scream, that tells you to leap or to be still. Your intuition is a combination of spirit, emotion, and logic, and it's guiding you. And so often we don't hear our intuition. Why don't we hear it? Because we're having too much chatter in our head. Like the chatter in our head, doubt, worry, judgment. Oh my God, judgment. Or fear, fear of other people's perception of you. So your intuition is saying, I love to dance, I want to dance, I want to sing. Your intuition is saying we can have a great time. Your intuition said I want love. Your intuition is saying, gosh, let's go take that chance on that writing that book. Or let's take that chance on starting that business. Then your chatter comes in. No, what if I fail? So let me explain this to you. Your mind, your brain is designed to keep you safe. It's designed and it only has the ability to go back in time in the mental file cabinet and look at the last time you tried something like this and it may not have been good or it may have ended in some dangerous situations, uh, where people could judge you. And your brain is designed to protect you. That's it. Your brain is designed to protect you. It's logical. Your intuition is that spark of passion. It's that spark of desire. It's that spark of love. It's that spark of pull me forward. It's that little bit of radical. It's that lot of bit of, um, of, of I want to leave my fingerprint on this planet. Your brain isn't designed to have those same ideas. Now, your intuition can kick the brain in, and the brain can start thinking of ways too, but the intuition is where it's going to start. It's in your gut. It's why when you feel something, you kind of go here. You don't go, oh, I feel so special. You don't say I feel special here. You say I feel it here. I feel it here. And so your job is not to turn down the doubt. Your job is to turn up up the passion. It's to turn up the faith. It's to turn up the possibility. Now, still make well-thought-out plans. I always say the best plan is the plan made. I don't care if you have to upgrade it, you have to modify it, but if you, if you, if you, if you fail to plan, then you plan to fail. So every dream, every passion, every desire, Follow it with a plan because that's where your brain gets excited. Your brain goes, yeah, we got a plan now. Now you can believe yourself. See, you set big goals and dreams and you have desires and then you don't achieve it, but you don't achieve it because you didn't set the plan in place. You didn't do the details and then you stop believing you could do it and then you do the biggest tragedy. You stop dreaming, you stop hoping, you stop You stop listening to your GPS, your God Placement System, that says you've been put here on a divine assignment and your assignment may change over years. Guess what? Your assignment you had 15 years ago may be very different from the assignment on your life today. Your job is to turn down the volume in your head, the volume of judgment, the volume of fear, the volume of worry, the volume of perfection. Turn down the volume in your head and turn up the volume in your intuition, in your solar plexus, in that God placement system, in that heart space. Turn up the volume in that place that just says, what do I want? What— ask yourself this tonight, today, tomorrow. What feels good to my soul? And then be still and be quiet. I believe, I believe in prayer and I believe in meditation. And I grew up only knowing about prayer, but then I learned that prayer is asking God or the divine, whatever you call your God. I'm not imposing my belief systems on you, but I call him God. That prayer is asking God for direction and meditation is being still and quiet long enough to hear the answer. A lot of times we don't hear our intuitive spirit talking to us because we're not still and we're not quiet long enough to hear it. So give yourself the gift of quiet time, and really, after you've asked the question, what brings me joy? What excites my soul? What do I want I want to do for the next 6 months or 6 years? What makes me feel passionate? What sets me on fire? And then be still, and then listen. But the biggest question is, will you be bold enough to act on what you hear? I ain't going nowhere, so I want to hear what happens. I want to hear what you heard. I want to hear what came up for you. I want to hear what stirred your soul. I want to hear how excited you got. I want to hear about the feelings that begin to pulse through your entire body when you listened to your GPS, when you listen to that calling in your soul. I want to know because that's when the hair on the back of your neck stands up. That's when you get chicken skin. That's when you can't sleep at night. That's when you get up early. I'm just saying. I'm just saying.

Also, to make sure you're actually taking action after watching this video, I've designed a special free worksheet just for this video. The worksheet will highlight all the lessons learned in this video, as well as pull out our 3 favorite learnings and quotes that will inspire you to actually do something. The worksheet will also give you space to write down what your key takeaways are and your specific plan of action to make sure you're getting results. If you want the worksheet designed specifically for this video, absolutely for free, there's a link in the description below. Go click on it and start building the momentum in your life and your business. I'll see you there. Rule number 4 is understand life with Eckhart Tolle.

I'm not saying that you should not try to improve the conditions of your life, but more Most importantly is to realize that you do not have a life, because that's— people say, 'My life.' Now, if you look at the structure of that sentence, 'my life,' there's a duality there, because if you say 'my life,' that implies that you you have it. It's mine. So it implies two— duality. If you say my life, there's you and the life that you have. It belongs to me. It's mine. So this thought, this language creates a duality in your mind. Call it my life. That's interesting. So there's me and I have a life. And then the fear comes in. If I have a life, I might lose it. And of course then you visit the cemetery and you say, yes, they all once had their life and they lost it. They lost their life. And that's going to happen to me too. Not realizing you are trapped in certain mental formations formations that create an illusory identity and actually create delusion. You don't have a life because there is not a duality. Without life, there's no you, so you can't have it. You are one with life. There isn't you and life. You are life. You can't— you don't have it. Now, if you are it, you can't lose it because you are it. But of course, we'll have to see more deeply what we mean when I say you are life. But let's for a moment stay with that. You are life. You don't have a life. You are. So you can say it for yourself in your mind. I don't, I don't have a life. I am life. This is the end of duality. You realize there's, there's a oneness of you and life. And when I say life, we can use another word, the essence of being alive. What is the essence Let's go there slowly. What is the essence of who you are? What is the essence of the life that you are? Okay, now normal humans, which means unawakened humans, say, well, The essence of my life is my— whatever they identify with in there. It's my possessions, my— what I have, what I know, what I— my body. All those things that I identify with, that's the essence of who I am, is whatever I derive my identity from. It could be the physical body, but— or it could be my car or my house or my work, my function in society. It could be friends that I have, things that I have attained. It could also be— these things are all in the mind, all also. Because when you identify— let's say your sense of identity, which is you compare yourself to others all the time. This is what you do when you're in your mind, you compare yourself to others. Let's say your body looks better than other people's body for a while. There's two will pass. But for a while you can get in there and then you become, this is my body. That also is a mental formation. So it's not so much you identify with the body, you identify the thought of my body. That's what you identify. You don't identify with your Ferrari if you have One, it's the thought of my car, which makes you superior to others who only have a little car. Or your body makes you superior to others who have a puny and weak body. So you can display for a few years, you display your body on the beach and feel good about yourself. And after a while, the day comes when you look in the mirror and say, what happened? There's something wrong with the mirror. In the past, the mirrors that people made were so much better than the mirrors now. So for a while you identify with this or that, that is quite normal. And so when you ask, what is the essence of who you are? Most people would tell you, well, I am, this is who I am, this is what my identity is derived from, this, this, this, and this, and this bundle of things. This is who I am. It's not always positive because I was just talking about having a body that looks better than other people's body. You could have a body that looks worse than other people's body. And so that serves too. You could either, either you look for something else that gives you an identity, like actually you're more intelligent than all these stupid beach bums. So you can say, look at these people, but you have so much more knowledge and intelligence, you can look down on them. Or you can be more spiritual. So if you— I can't afford a Ferrari, I'm on my bicycle, and you say, look at this materialistic person in the Ferrari. So you can still— or if that If that doesn't work, you can see how unfairly treated by life you have been and how much more, so much more miserable you are than most people. And you've really been a victim of circumstances. You've been a victim of your birth and of your parents who did a dreadful job with you. Maybe if their parents had been more conscious, things could have worked out, but they weren't. So, but that also gives you a strong conceptual identity. So if you can't have a positive one, the negative ones can be just as strong, if not stronger. You can have a huge victim identity. It's a favorite thing sometimes in the collective circle Certain egoic things become fashionable for a while. Nowadays is the victim identity for certain groups of people are very fashionable, so people can feel, oh yes, we are all being victimized by those people, and of course there's some truth in it in some cases. But that doesn't, but to derive an identity is a delusion derive a sense of identity from that is a huge delusion. That is not who you are. That's all my life. That's all. So if you are not all those things— so when I ask, who are you? If I ask that question, don't go— let's do this for a moment— don't go into the past? Can you feel or sense who you are without reference to the past in you? You don't even need to remember your name right now. What for? You don't really remember your email address or your phone number or what happened to you 10 years ago. Don't need to remember that. Can you still get a sense without reference to your personal history, can you get a sense of beingness or presence. There's no past in that at all. But what is that? You can't really describe it. All you know is that you are. I am.

Rule number 5 is loosen up a little with Sadhguru.

What are the best practices for someone who is dead serious?

Dead or serious?

Well, you referred to this last night.

Yeah, it once happened. There was a Sufi master in Basra. You know Basra? Basra is that place which is famous for pearls today in Iraq, or it's famous for bombing, whichever way. So someone came and said, "Please give me a teaching." He refused, no teaching. Then more and more important people started coming to him and said, "Please give us a teaching." He said, "No teaching." Now because he refuses to teach, he became very famous. So one day a great scholar in the area who is well-versed in all the scriptures and everything, he came and insisted, "You have to teach." 'You have something that no scholar can have, I am beginning to realize that. So you have to teach, you cannot keep it to yourself.' So the Sufi master looked at him and said, 'I am not giving a teaching to you, not because I am not willing, because you are not willing.' The scholar said, "What are you saying I am not willing? I am here, I am asking you. I am the one who is asking you and you are saying I am not willing? No, the teaching that I give, you will not be willing." He said, "What is the teaching? Are you willing?" "Anything, I am willing." So, The master went inside, brought a dirty-looking piece of cloth and gave it to him and said, "Wear this as your loincloth. You take off all your robes and nice clothes, wear this as your loincloth." The scholar looked at this dirty piece of cloth, said, "What, this?" Not just that, 'Then I will give you an empty can with a string, wear it around your neck and I will give you a few sweets, peppermint. You go on the street to the marketplace. All the young boys will look at you and tease you and throw stones at you. Whoever throws a stone at you, take out a peppermint, grin at them and give them a peppermint.' 'Right.' The scholar said, 'This is ridiculous. What will happen to me in this town if I do such a ridiculous thing?' 'See, I told you, you're not willing for the teaching.' Because the question is just this— do you want a teaching that you like or do you want something that transforms you? That's a question. So now you're asking this question, I am dead serious. So the first and foremost thing is you must make yourself non-serious, which is not possible. So the only way you can make yourself non-serious is to be ridiculous, you know. Can you do that? Can you get up and do a jig right now? Do it. No, you must do it the Indian way, the Indian jig. No, no, you must do the Indian jig. So, you see you're getting little non-serious now. Not dead at least, still serious, not dead. So just loosen up your life a little bit, laugh a little more, involve yourself with people around you, do things that you think is not so important. Don't do things which are very important, do simple things. It's very important you do simple things. Very important things you're doing in your life, you will become dead serious. You know, Bertrand Russell, an Englishman— Bertrand Russell said, "If you're beginning to think that what you're doing is very important, you need to take a holiday." So holiday does not mean coming to India. Holiday is every day in those 24 hours, you must take a holiday from your seriousness. From your self— seriousness has come essentially because of your self-importance. You hold yourself as an important person. I want you to see you are like a speck of dust in this existence. Tomorrow morning if you disappear, for sure in India nobody will miss you. Even down under, they won't bother much, you know, a handful of people. They will also forget soon enough. Isn't it so?

Woof!

Nature does woof, you're gone. And nothing will happen in this world, everything will happen wonderfully well even if you're not there. Every human being should be aware of this every moment of his life. It does not matter what the whole world says about you, it does not matter how significant a work you're doing, you must understand that tomorrow morning the world will go on fine without you, whoever you may be. Isn't it so? If you constantly remind yourself of this, you'll have no reason to be serious. Definitely not dead. And don't be dead now. A time will come. It's time to be alive.

And rule number 6, the last one before some very special bonus clips, is be in selfless service with Jay Shetty.

When you've been drowning in an ocean of material thought and someone had the compassion and empathy to reach down and grab you you feel like you want to do the same thing. And, and that's just my meditation constantly, you know. You don't— you can't ever go back from that. The amount of gratitude I have for the people that have invested in me and that open up my eyes. I was 18 years old. I would have gone down the path of becoming an— I probably, if I had it my way, I probably would have wanted to become an art director at a massive company. I probably would have done pretty well for myself. I would have traveled the world and wasted my life. Like, that's I always think about that moment of Sliding Doors. What could have been, right? And that's what I would have been. But because I met these incredibly powerful people who wanted nothing from me but just to give, it changed my life. And that's the opportunity I want. And for people, it may not be a monk, but when you think like a monk, you, you recognize that actually, am I exposing myself to as many alternative methods of thought? Am I really allowing myself to experience everything the world has to offer, because if I'm not, I'm already limiting myself in a world that's actually unlimited. And that's the challenge I see, is that we are living at a time when you have the most choice available, you have the most experiences available, but we still put ourselves in these prisons.

Not only that, those prisons are one of self-seeking. I mean, you mentioned giving. I mean, giving is, you know, service is the cornerstone of this whole thing. Being in selfless service to others.

Yes.

Which is just counter-programming to the way entire, you know, our entire infrastructure of Western civilization is constructed.

Yes, absolutely. Yeah, complete counter-programming. I remember when I was giving a talk, this was probably about like, oh yeah, probably about 4 years ago, and I was speaking to a group of executives, and one of them came up to me afterwards and he said, how old were you when you became a monk? I was like 22. And he said, when did you get the realization that life is about selfless service. And I said, well, I'm still getting there, I'm not there yet, but the first time I fell in love with that idea, I was 18. He goes, the first time I realized that life was beyond me, I was 42 years old when, you know, my child was growing up. And he goes, that was the first time I realized that life was not just about me. And I was thinking, wow, like, to me it was— to me it's weird because I got exposed to it at 18. I couldn't believe that someone didn't understand that. Even today, like, The reason why we're all repeating messages and continue to, I think, remind people of these messages, and even ourselves, is because you could hear that life is about service a million times, but until you practice it and until you really— until you really mold it into every area of your life— like, this podcast is your service. I think we think of service also very limited.

We think service means to go and help a charity, or being at the soup kitchen or something.

Correct. And that is beautiful, and people should do it. It's, it's wonderful, and I think we should all do it. And I try and do as much as I can. But service is also serving through your calling, your talents, your skills, your purpose that benefits other people. And it can be different, like, you know. Yeah, so yeah, there's so many methods.

Well, the ultimate is when you can find that thing that lights you up and channel that in a way to give back to others and also support yourself and your family in doing it. I mean, that's the secret. That's what this does for me. I just feel like the luckiest person in the world to have, you know, live in this time where this is possible and to have kind of stumbled into this.

Yeah, for sure. There's a beautiful story that I share that you've reminded me of now, and it's the story of two monks that are washing their bowls. And while they're washing their bowls, they see a— one of the monks sees a squirrel a scorpion drowning. And so he helps the scorpion out of the water and puts it onto the side. And in that process, he gets stung by the scorpion. And the other monk says, what are you doing? Like, you know, this is stupid. He said, oh, don't worry about it, don't worry about it. The scorpion falls in again to the water. The monk picks it up again, gets stung in the process, and puts it onto the side. So the other monk's just like, okay, now you're just being ridiculous. Like, what are you doing? He said, why are you saving the scorpion when you know that its nature is to sting. And the monk replies, goes, I know that the scorpion's nature is to sting, but my nature is to save. And so he understood how hardwired his service mindset was, that he was willing to go through the pain to act in that way. So what, what I'm trying to share with that story is that we're all wired to serve naturally, as children, as kids, as people, as humans. But we've been educated for And you see this, there's countless viral videos of kids who like walk up to the television screen and wipe the cartoon characters' tears off with their tissues, or like kids like running to help the person next to them. And we were all once that person, but it's just the education that we get. And I'm not just talking about school, I'm just saying generally the, the education of becoming self-centered. And whether you look at it from a scientific point of view, the studies that have been done, when when people help people, their depression goes down, their mental health goes up. When people help people, they're able to feel more joy and experience more happiness in their lives. Like, we are happier when we serve and help people. And that, I think, has been so lost that if someone genuinely asked them— so, because I think everyone hearing that will say, oh yeah, but I like to help people, I try. If you really did an audit of how much time you you spend every week genuinely helping someone who is giving you no help, or is genuinely helping someone who does nothing back for you, I'd find that we'd say a very, very little amount of time.

Yeah, the key is doing it when it's not convenient.

Correct.

You know what I mean?

Yes, exactly. That's the best way to say it. Yeah, exactly.

Um, yeah, it's tough. I mean, listen, you know, you hit it on the head. I mean, it's not, it's not just cool. It's like by osmosis. It's like, I hear what you're saying, Jay, that's great, but like, I gotta get mine, dude. Yeah, you know, time's— the clock's ticking and time's running out, and I got my hustle on.

Yeah. So you want my response to that?

Sure.

Yeah, my response to that is that mentality will get you the thing, and it will get you the number, and it will get you the money in the bank, but you won't feel satisfied. And that's my hypothesis. So go test it, and I would gladly let anyone test that, and I guarantee you that's how you'll feel.

What happens though is you get it, you have that experience of momentary elation that quickly fades. The half-life on that is very short. And then you think— your next thought isn't, I need a new path. Your next thought is, well, when I get that next thing, exactly, we're going to lock in.

Absolutely. It's the hamster wheel, right? It's, it's the conveyor belt. And it's— that's the, uh, it's the treadmill. That's the, uh, that's the challenge with that. And I think that's what we have to learn from people who have got there and feel that way. I think we have to. It's like, you know, when you hear Jim Carrey say like everyone should get everything they want and become everything they ever wanted just to realize it's not the point. When you see everyone who gets to the peak of financial or fame or beauty success they then try and serve. Like, that's just what everyone ends up having to do.

We're in the world capital of that right here. Yeah, you know what I mean?

Absolutely.

Los Angeles.

And, and you see it, like, you know, I, I can't remember who said this, but, you know, it's, it's talked about, like, your success— I can't remember who said it— but, but your success is based on the depth of the problem you solve, right? And, and it's like, if you look at any success, even if it's Jeff Bezos and Amazon, someone goes, oh, we I want to be Jeff Bezos. Jeff has solved— not that I know him, but Jeff has solved an issue that people had. So it's still service. And I think that's what we miss, that anyone who's winning, even financially, whether we agree with their business model or not, they are performing some type of service to people. And because he's serving more people with an issue that they have, he's able to make more money. So even from a totally financial perspective, service still wins. Like, there's no, there's no, you know, there's no taking away.

I get that. It's a more— it's just an expansive definition of service.

Correct, correct.

But, but it's still so— service ultimately is, is solving a problem that really is a core need in people's lives. And I think that could be a starting point for someone if they're still like, Jay, I don't get it, right? I'm still— I'm just trying to meet people where they're at.

—The next best predictor of lifetime success is conscientiousness. Well, so, and of the two aspects of conscientiousness, say, orderliness and industriousness, the better predictor is industriousness. So the question is, well, what can you do about your industriousness? And the answer to that is, well, that's kind of rough too, because there's a strong genetic component. But you can work on micro-habits with regards to your conscientiousness, and I think the best micro-habits —this is partly to do with these Future Authoring Program processes—I think the best thing you can do with regards to your conscientiousness is to set up some aims for yourself, goals that you actually value. And the Future Authoring Program helps people do that. And basically, it does a situational analysis of— it helps you do a situational analysis of your life, more than a psychological analysis, I would say. And so, the questions are something like, well, alright, you're gonna have to put some effort into your life. And you need to be motivated to do that. And so what are the potential sources of motivation? Well, you could think about them in the Big Five manner. You know, if you're extroverted, you want friends. If you're agreeable, you want an intimate relationship. If you're disagreeable, you want to win competitions. If you're open, you want to engage in creative activity. If you're high in neuroticism, you want security. Okay, so those are all sources of potential motivation that you could draw on, that you could tailor to your own your own personality. But then there are dimensions that you want to consider your life across. And so we ask people about, well, you know, if you could have your life the way you wanted it in 3 to 5 years, if you were taking care of yourself properly, you know, what would you want from your friendships? What would you want from your intimate relationship? How would you like to structure your family? What do you want for your career? Well, how are you going to use your time outside of your job? And how are you going to regulate your mental, physical— mental and physical health? And maybe also your drug and alcohol use, because that's That's a good place to auger down, you know, because alcoholism, for example, wipes out, you know, 5 to 10% of people. So you want to keep that under control. And then, and then, so maybe, you know, you, you, you develop a vision of what your life, what you would like your life to be, and that associates the— so the goal, once the goal is established, and then you break down the goal into microprocesses that you can implement, the microprocesses become rewarding in proportion to in relation to their causal association with the goal. And that tangles in your incentive-reward system. You know, we talked about the dopaminergic incentive-reward system, and that's the thing that keeps you moving forward. And the way it works is that it works better if it produces positive emotion when it can see you moving towards a valued goal. Okay, well, what's the implication of that? Better have a valued goal, because otherwise you can't get any positive motivation. Working out. And so the more valuable the goal, in principle, the more the micro-processes associated with that goal start to take on a positive charge. And so what that means is, well, you get up in the morning and you're excited about the day. You're ready to go. And so as far as I can tell, what you do is you specify your long-term ideal. Maybe you also specify a place you want to stay the hell away from, so that you're terrified to fail as well as excited about succeeding, because that's also useful. You specify your goal, and You do that, you do that in some sense as a unique individual. You want to specify goals that make you say, "Oh, if that could happen as a consequence of my efforts, it would clearly be worthwhile." Because the question always is, why do something? Because doing nothing is easy. You just sit there and you don't do anything. That's real easy. The question is, why would you ever do anything? And the answer to that has to be because you've determined by some means that it's worthwhile. And then the next question might be, well, where should you look for worthwhile things? And one would be, well, you could consult your own temperament. And the other would be, well, you kind of look at how— look at what it is that people accrue that's valuable across the lifespan. Look, look what— so you do a structural analysis of the subcomponents of human existence. And I already did that. You need a family, you need friends. Like, you don't need to have all these things, but you better have most of them. Family, friends, career, educational goals, plans for, you know, time outside of work, attention to your mental and physical health, etc. You know, those are— that's what life is about. And if you don't have any of those things, well, then all you've got left is misery and suffering. So that's a bad deal for you. So, but once you set up that goal structure, let's say, and that's really in many ways, that's what you should be doing at universities. That's exactly what you should be doing is trying to figure out who it is that you're trying to be, right? And you aim at that, and then you use everything you learned as a means of building that person that you want to be. And, and I really mean want to be. I don't mean should be. Even those things, those things are going to overlap, and it's important to distinguish between those because that's partly— and this is back down to the micro-routine analysis— so if I was saying, well, you're going to try to make yourself more industrious, Okay, number 1, specify your damn goals, because how are you going to hit something if you don't know what it is? That isn't going to happen. And often people won't specify their goals too, because they don't like to specify conditions for failure. So if you keep yourself all vague and foggy, which is real easy, because that's just a matter of not doing as well, then you don't know when you fail. And people might say, "Well, I really don't want to know when I fail, because that's painful. So I'll keep myself blind about when I fail." That's fine, except you'll fail all the time then. You just won't know it until you've failed so badly that you're done. And that can easily happen by the time you're 40. So, so I would recommend that you don't let that happen. So that's willful blindness, right? You could have known, but you chose not to. Okay, so once you get your goal structure set up, you think, okay, if I could have this life, looks like that might be worth living despite the fact that it's going to be, you know, anxiety-provoking and threatening, and there's going to be some suffering and loss involved in all of that. Obviously, the goal is to, to have a vision for your life such that, all things considered, that justifies your effort.

Change your life, you have to be willing to change your actions. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over again and expecting a different result. If you want to change your life, you want to be in a different spot, you have to be doing different things. Now, if you love your life, great, don't change anything. Or you love pieces of your life, don't change anything about those pieces. But if you are not happy with where you are at, you must be able, be willing to do different things. Otherwise, you will stay stuck forever. I was doing an Instagram Live yesterday with a young entrepreneur. He wants to be a speaker and he wants to share his message, and he's constantly facing self-doubt and fear and insecurity, and nobody's watching the stories, and and he's not good enough, and who am I to share a message. And in our IG Live, one of the things he said was, well, I'm not, I'm not comfortable doing that. We're talking about making, making content. Some days he's on top of the world and he feels great, and other days he's not, and he doesn't feel comfortable getting in front of the camera. And he started going off and telling me a story. Stop right there. When you say I'm not comfortable doing that. We have to identify that as a trigger to go. Saying, I'm not comfortable doing that. Now, if it's against your values, I get it, right? You're not comfortable. You know, I'm at Costco right now. Nina's going shopping in there. I'm not comfortable robbing Costco. Perfect. Okay, that's outside my value system. That's totally different. Most of the things that you're not comfortable doing are failing in front of other people. At the end of the day, that's what it is. You're afraid of being judged, and so we're not comfortable doing that thing. You'll, you'll fail if nobody else sees it, if it's just you, but you don't want to fail in front of other people. And that can no longer be a good enough reason, because if you only do— think about this— if you only do what's comfortable, you stay in your comfort zone. If you only do what's comfortable, you stay in your comfort zone. And therefore, you hate your life. Because if all you did was wake up and do what's in your comfort zone, do what is known, do what is comfortable, do what, do what you've always done, you're going to hate your life. And this becomes the curse of a lot of entrepreneurs is you know, you're capable of more, you know, you want to do more, you know, you have more in your heart to go off and serve, you You want that. You can, you can see it. You can touch it. You can taste it. You can visualize it. Like, I want to be there. I want to do that. Right? Has that happened to you? Can that relate to you? You know you want more, but you're afraid to go off and do it, and you fall back down to comfort. At least consistently. You might have these moments of greatness and boldness and willingness to go do something, but we fall back down to comfort. And if you stay in comfort, you will never accomplish your great goals because everything you want out of life is on the other side of your comfort zone. Everything you want out of life, all your big goals, your big dreams, your big ambitions, your mission, the life that you want, the life that you want is on the other side of your comfort zone. And so I had to stop him when he was talking to me on the Instagram Live because It doesn't matter if you're not comfortable doing it. It's actually the opposite. Because you are uncomfortable doing it, now you have to do it. Because you need to train yourself that you do uncomfortable things. The fact that you have accepted being uncomfortable as a good enough reason to stop is the big problem. I don't care what else you're gonna— what other story you're gonna tell me afterwards. I had to stop the conversation conversation at that moment because I could not allow him to continue with the mindset of, I'm uncomfortable, so I'm going to stop. And we all have these words that we tell ourselves, and we all have these stories that we come back to as to why we're not able to take action. And the problem is we believe those things, and you need to catch them, and you need to root them out. And so for him, that was the big aha moment. That he needs to get uncomfortable. And it sounds— it doesn't sound like a big deal, right? Like, oh, of course you got to get uncomfortable. But what is the thing that you're telling yourself as to why you're not winning, as to why you can't follow through, as to why you can't do the thing? And when somebody else shines a light on it, it's like, it seems so obvious, and yet this is the thing that has been holding you back and keeping you stuck. So I told him, anytime you hear yourself Say, this makes me uncomfortable. Again, as long as it's not against your value system, right? This makes me feel uncomfortable. Use it as a trigger to go forward. Enlist your family. He's newly married. Enlist your wife, enlist your parents, enlist your siblings. Anytime somebody hears you say, that makes me feel uncomfortable, that's, that's a trigger. Go have them, have them hold you accountable. Said, you just said it again. Now you got to go do that thing. As long as it's not against your value system, right? For me, it's scary, difficult, and hard. I would accept scary, difficult, or hard as good enough reasons for me not to go off and do the thing that I wanted to do. I want to make videos. Oh, that's scary. Like, oh, okay, I can't do it. I've just accepted scary as a good enough reason. And so if I never do things that are scary, I will never accomplish my big goals. When, um, you know, when I, when I was thinking about doing my tour in 2019, we hit 23 cities, 90 days. I thought that was too difficult, too difficult, you know. It's like I'm— I was afraid to get on stage, and here I am now facing my fear every 4 days in a new city I've never done a tour. And instead of just doing a small tour of 3 cities or something, like 23 cities, 90 days, you know, a quarter of the year on the road straight with, with my wife and my cameraman. Okay, let's go. Because I do difficult things. Because I want to train myself that I do difficult things. Because again, my dream life is on the other side of me doing difficult things. If I only do what's easy, I'm gonna eventually hate my life. This is where we get stuck. You know, when you do something that's easy and you win, you win a little ribbon or an award, right? You, you run a race against 3-year-olds and you win. Congratulations, amazing, you won! And you could post about on Instagram and you had this little moment of accolade, but you don't actually feel good about yourself because you didn't do anything difficult because that was easy for you. The self-love, self-confidence, self-respect comes from doing difficult things, uncomfortable things, scary things, hard things. The willingness to show up even if you don't win because it's difficult and challenging— that's how you ultimately will win in life and start to accomplish your goals. And so most people are photocopying their lives. This is, this is where most people are stuck. You're photocopying your life. Today looked the same as yesterday, looked the same as the day same as the day before. It's why most people do not like their life. It's why most people drive to a job that they hate. They're driving to a job that they hate. Most people wake up, you know, look at all these cars here. Most people here in this parking lot, they're waking up every day and driving to a job that they hate. They do not like their life. Most of the people who are telling you what you should do with your life do not like their own life. And so the answer is to catch your trigger words. So I call them play bigger triggers. What's a play bigger trigger? What are your trigger words? What do you say? Think about one of your goals. You know, think about what's on your list of to-dos. Think about where you want to be. You know, what do you have to get done? What's one of your most important goals right now that you've been procrastinating on? What have you been delaying on? There's something. Everybody's got something. What's a goal of yours that you've been sitting on? And then what's the voice in your head that that's giving you an acceptable reason for you not to do the thing. Now try to get to the reason behind the reason. So example, somebody wants to make YouTube videos. I want to, I want to be a thought leader. I have a message in my heart. I want to get it out to the world. Awesome. What's the reason why you're telling yourself you can't do it? Like, oh well, I don't have the time, I don't have the camera, I don't have the gear, I don't have the microphone, I don't know what to say. Uh, all of these, these are the practical reasons, right? Those are not the real reasons. The real reason is buried underneath the practical reasons. Why do you think that having the right camera and microphone is going to be the difference? Well, because you're actually afraid of judgment. You're afraid that people are going to watch it. We're afraid of when people won't watch it, and what does that mean, you know, that you suck, and the people will watch it and laugh at you or criticize you for having a bad phone, bad camera, bad microphone, or they can't hear you, or whatever else. Like, you're afraid of judgment. Underneath the reason of I don't have a good enough camera, microphone, etc., is just fear. And the fear specifically is judgment. So think about your own goals. What do you want to do? What have you been delaying on? What have you been procrastinating on? What's the reason you're telling yourself? The logical ones the one that you're buying, and then what's the reason underneath the reason? What's the actual reason? And that's your trigger. So if it's fear of judgment, if it's fear of failure, if it's fear of not being good enough, if it's fear of being an imposter, if it's fear of being uncomfortable, whatever your actual fear is, that's your trigger. And that is holding you back, not just in this one goal, but in life and everything and all your goals. It's the reason why you're not taking action across all your goals. And so now when you can catch it and then take the action to say, I am the person who does difficult things, I am the person who gets uncomfortable, I am the person who's going to change my actions because that's the only way I'm going to get the life that I want. When you can catch it specifically, it shortcuts the brain because at least for me, and I've seen it work for many other people, when you've accepted comfort, for example, as a reason why you can't take action, and then you hear yourself say, well, that makes me uncomfortable, now you have to do it. You just have to do it. You take the brain out of the equation. Now the reasons don't matter. You said uncomfortable, so now I have to go and do it, period. So catch what you're word is. And I'd love to even know in the comments below if you want to leave what is your trigger word that when you say it, when you text it, when you think it, when you feel it, that has been holding you back and that you no longer want it to. So let's put it in the chat and let's relieve a little bit of that pressure that that word holds over us so you can actually go build the life that you want.

Some of you done so much work to get out there to finally catch the wave. Anybody ever caught a wave in business or or a wave in the ocean for that matter. You catch a wave in the ocean, you know what that's like, a perfect wave or a good wave. All of you probably done at least a little one and it's almost inexpressible, isn't it? It's an incredible feeling. You're kind of connected to God and the ocean and yourself in those moments and it's just a wonderful journey. And these waves can take you places you would otherwise never get without them and you can get there faster. Also true in business. You gotta paddle and kick and scratch and claw and you're using things you've never used before. You're finding assets you have that you didn't even know you had to get out there. Then you catch these waves in business, and it's wonderful, and it can take you places, and it feels a certain way it's never felt before. And many of you caught waves. I'm sure you've caught a wave in business in the past, or multiple waves. Some of you probably even got some pretty darn big ones. But let me ask you a question: what if when I got out there, I started to say to myself, well, you know, heck, I've caught 3 or 4 of these waves, this is pretty darn darn good, I could probably float, and I'll probably just keep catching them if I float. But would I? Well, you know I wouldn't. What would happen if I stopped completely moving my arms and legs and kicking and paddling? I'd sink. And if I'm not careful, if I don't do it long enough, I could drown. And I see that happen all the time in business. See, in my business, the paddling and the kicking and the swimming is recruiting and developing people people, leadership, sales skills, running a system in a particular way. Those are the things that are the paddling and the kicking and prospecting in my business. In your business, it may be something different, but nonetheless, I'm not immune to the laws of nature. If I sit in that ocean and I stop moving, I stop paddling and kicking and doing what you got to do, I won't float. I'll sink. I'm not immune to the laws of the ocean, nature, the universe, gravity, you name it, neither are you. I'm also not immune, and nor are you, to the laws of business, the laws of success. The laws of success say if you stop doing those things, you don't float. You never grow, or you never just stay the same in business. You're either growing or dying. You're either sinking or swimming. I want you to be swimming. I want you to be riding waves. By the way, the bigger the waves, the harder you got to work to go catch them. But what most people do in business is they fall in love with a illusion or the illusion of the fact that I can stop at some point. I've seen people stop quickly in my business. A couple weeks into the business, you know, they get an award for bringing the most people to the meeting. Oh, I can stop kicking and paddling now. I can stop calling people and seeing people. And I see them sink. I've seen people a year or two later get a promotion to a certain level and they go, oh, now I can stop paddling and kicking and I'm going to float and keep riding these waves. And I've seen them sink. And sometimes I've seen them drowned. And that's a sad thing to see someone drown and go out of business just simply because they fell in love with the illusion and the lie that they can float and stop moving. I've seen it happen 5 years in, 15 years in, 20 years in, a million a year, 2 million a year, you name it. I've seen it when they've developed a bunch of people, when they haven't. You'd say, well, yeah, that's not true. I mean, not everybody sinks. I mean, I have friends, heck, in my own business, who they've stopped paddling, kicking, and they still ride a wave or two here and there, and they're pretty happy. Really? Are they really happy? Will they ever know what it would have been like to ride the biggest and best waves of their life? The answer is no. If you stop paddling, kicking, you'll never know where you could have gone. More importantly, you'll never know who you could have become. See, the people who paddle and kick forever and make that decision, they've got a chance to become the highest version of themselves, the highest expression of themselves, which I think is what life's about. See, the champions in fitness, in faith, in the water, in every area of life make a decision early that they are about the paddling and kicking, because that's the ticket to the biggest, the next, and the biggest waves of life. Life isn't about catching a few and stopping. Life's about the next wave. Ask any surfer, they're chasing the next big wave, they're chasing the great one, and once they catch they want to chase another one because it's about being out there. It's about being in the game. It's about riding the big waves. It's about finding the highest version and expression of you. And I want to challenge you to do that in your business. I want to challenge you. See, the great ones decide. See, the average, they, they look for reasons. They look for reasons to stop paddling, kicking. Oh, now I can't. Oh, now I can't. See, the champions don't want those reasons. The champions want to keep paddling paddling and kicking to ride the big one, the great wave of their life. And I think you'd agree with me that life can only get better if you'll keep paddling and kicking. Please don't stop. Please don't fall in love with that lie. And know the truth, that the winning way is the way to keep paddling and kicking. You're not about floating. You're not about sinking. You're not about drowning. You're about riding the biggest waves of your life in the future, in whatever area matters to you, whether it's your faith or your family or your fitness or your business, make the decision that you're going to do the things that's required to ride the next big wave, and it will take you places you can't even imagine.

I know you all have big goals, big dreams, big aspirations, just like I do. You've got ambitions to become an amazing person, to build your career, to create, to contribute, to give, to be an awesome human being. But all of that is impossible without great habits set up. If you don't have routine and structure set up in a way that will keep you on track, then you'll fall off. And having new goals without new habits is kind of like, you know, having a new car without wheels. You know, the habits are the wheels. They're the things that make you able to achieve the goals. So you got to have good habits. But the challenge for most people isn't that knowledge. I mean, you know, you need to have good habits. It's you can't keep the habit going, right? Have you ever started at the new year, you're going to get healthier, and you start that habit of working out on a more regular basis and then it goes away. Or you say, you know, I'm gonna be more kind and more patient and more awesome to my partner, my lover, and you start being nice for 2 or 3 days and then on the 4th day you're a jerk, you know, and you're like, what happened? I said I was gonna be nicer. It's that you didn't set up the most important thing you needed to maintain a habit. So what's the biggest secret I've learned almost 20 years in this field, it's so simple but most people don't have it. It's called trigger moments. You have to set up trigger moments to activate your habits. What do I mean by that? Well, let's say you want to become a better person. You know, you want to become more kind, more patient, more loving with people. Now you can just set that intention or write that down in your vision, in your journal, or set up on a vision board that you look at once in a while, but in day-to-day life, it's not enough. You need things to trigger you, to remind you to be that particular kind of person, right? It's almost like if you could have a little angel speaking in your ear all day long to tell you what to do and how to be, you'd obviously become better. Well, that makes sense. Well, let's use that idea. Let's use that idea by setting up alarms on our phones that trigger us to do the very things we need to do. This is gonna be so basic you're gonna laugh, and then I'll also tell you how I've literally taught this to Fortune 50 CEOs, and they said it was the one thing that changed their life the most dramatically. So let's start with this. Let's have a goal in mind. Let's say you want to become more present and calm throughout the day. Again, you could write that down, down on a journal, I'm gonna be more present and calm. You could meditate in the morning saying, today I'm gonna be more present and calm. And you could start out with good intentions, but those fall apart without a trigger moment set up throughout the day to remind you that. So what if you did this? What if you just set up on your phone 3 alarms during the day with a label that said, close your eyes, take 10 deep breaths in, Remind yourself to be calm. So let's say you're going through your day, it's crazy, right? It's 10 AM and all of a sudden, bing, your phone goes off. You look down and it says, close your eyes, take 10 deep breaths. And then again, it happens at 2 o'clock. And again, it happens at 6 PM. And again, it happens at 8 PM. What's going to happen? You always look at your phone, don't you? It's going to go throughout the day. You're going to forget. And the funniest thing is I've had so many people I've taught people to do this worldwide. We're talking about hundreds of thousands of people I've taught to do this, hundreds of thousands. And they tell me all the time, "That changed everything." And you'll think once you set it up that the next day you'll forget about it. No, that alarm will go off. You forgot you set the dang alarm. There it goes off in your face and you're like, "All right, I'm trying to be calmer and more present. Close my eyes, take 10 deep breaths, reground myself." around myself, here we go. You can't do it once a day. You have to have moments throughout the day that trigger you to enact the new behavior. I know this makes sense to you, but it's a challenge for a lot of people because they never set those things up. So what if you did it with an alarm? So for example, for me on the opposite spectrum, I don't want to just be calmer and more present, I want more energy throughout the day. So here's what I do, one of my big trigger moments is every time my butt butt hits a chair. I don't care if I'm on a plane or I was like where we're shooting here. I wrote a lot of my books here. I wrote The Motivation Manifesto here. I wrote The Charge here. And if I'm going to write, my butt hits the chair, I grab my phone, I open the timer, and I set 50 minutes. Now at 50 minutes, the timer goes, it starts buzzing, and I look at that and I go, oh, that's my trigger to get energy. So I stand up, I go get some water, I take a glass of water, drink it down, I do some stretches and I do some exercise just really briefly or I'll go for a walk, whatever it is, but I'll do something that usually takes just 2 to 5 minutes. Then I'll sit back down, I'll set that 50-minute alarm and I'll work. And what that does is every 50 minutes it triggers me to change how I'm physically moving, it changes my attention so that throughout the day I'm continually refreshed. So I never have that 2, 3, 4 o'clock time where I'm like, ah, you know, why? Because I've triggered my day so that my energy is maintained throughout the day. Makes sense, right? This could be as simple as, let's say you want to be healthier in your life. Okay, let's set up some trigger moments for you in this way. Let's say every time you drop off the kids, on the way back to the house, you stop at the grocery store. And get some fresh produce. That's just a trigger. It's like, okay, did one thing, drop kids off. Now tied to that, triggered from that action, drop kids off is go to health food store. Or let's say you want to get healthier in the morning. One of the easiest ways to help people maintain a better exercise program is this. Set a trigger, you wake up in the morning, your first action is to drink water, put your exercise shoes on, might get dressed if you were naked, just saying. So you get dressed, put your shoes on, you go downstairs or you go to the gym and that's the trigger. You woke up, you do these actions, nothing interrupts those actions, that's the action. And you have to have those set up. One of my other favorite trigger moments to set up is doorframe triggers. What do you mean by that? When you walk into to a new room to have a psychological trigger go off in your mind that you've associated with that doorframe. So let me give you an example. If I walk into my house at night after, like, if I've been working all day and I'm gonna walk in, I'm gonna see my lady, I have it so when I ever walk through the doors of my house, 3 words repeat off immediately in my mind because I've done it so many times consciously. I went to the door, I said the 3 words, said said the 3 words, said the 3 words, and I did this so many times that now when I walk through a door, my mind automatically triggers those 3 words, and I remember to be those 3 words. So what words would you love to have describe you as a person that you would be happy if that was how people described you? What would those words be? Have those and now set them up in your life. I teach executives to do this as well. I have them have a, set up a doorframe trigger when they walk into their office in the morning. As soon as they walk through that doorframe, they have, boom, 3 words go through their mind about how they want to be perceived as a leader. I have them set up another doorframe every time they walk into a meeting, into the conference room. When they walk through the doors of the conference room, they have another 3 words that trigger off for them, and it just reminds them how to be. So these aren't big, crazy things. A lot of people, they think they have to to completely change your life. What would change your life completely is setting up more trigger moments and associations that when you see something, you do this. That when this action is taken, then that happens. That when you have the opportunity to set up alarms on your phone, you set them up so that you're interrupted in your everyday life to remind yourself to stick to the habits. The habits, to stick to the intention. You do that enough on a continual basis, you'll find yourself in so many ways completely rejuvenated, and I promise you'll stick to your habits even more. And once you do that, you know that everything changes.

Because you made it this far in the video, I want to celebrate you. Most people start and don't finish. Most people never actually follow through. Most people say they want something, but they don't ever do the work to actually get it. But you are different. You are special. Believe Nation, you made it here all the way to the end, and I love you. So as a special celebration, if you put a hashtag #Believe down in the comments below on this video, I will showcase you and celebrate you somewhere on the screen me in a future video because you are awesome. If you want some incredible success motivation, check the video right there next to me. I think you'll love it. Continue to believe, and I'll see you there. Here's the hard truth about getting great: it takes time and dedication.

It takes a willingness to accept that you're not yet good enough.

It takes the ability to stare at the places that you know that you're weak