How to Become a Magnet for Joy and Abundance | Gabrielle Bernstein's Insight in 21 Minutes

Fear is a resistance to what it is that you desire, and in the absence of resistance, you become a magnet for what you desire. Your successes will come when you commit to joy, when you commit to happiness. You could say all the right things, but if you don't think it, if you don't transform and clean up your thinking, then you're literally polluting the planet.

She's a motivational speaker, life coach, and spirit junkie. She's a New York Times bestselling author of The Universe Has Your Back. Her flagship course is Spirit Spirit Junkie Masterclass empowers people to live their best self. She's Gabrielle Bernstein, and here's my take on her top 10 rules to success. Rule number 1 is my personal favorite, and I'd love to know which one you guys like the best. And as always, as you're watching, if you hear something that really resonates with you, please leave it in the comments below, put quotes around it so other people can be inspired as well, and when you write it down, it's much more likely to stick with you as well. Enjoy.

Don't wait. Go. Do it. Act now. And really accepting, we need you, we need you, we need you. You are the 1%. You're the percent that says, "I'm gonna wake up." You are the lightworkers. You are the ones that have accepted this call in this lifetime at this time. You have decided to wake up and chosen to say, yes, I'm here to be of greater service than just to feed myself, right? I'm here to feed the world, I'm here to give love, I'm here to be an expression of that truth. Don't hold that back. Don't play small. We can't, we need you. And so really, if you are anyone in this room who has been sitting on that book idea, waiting a little bit longer before you start that teacher training, Or doing 10 more teacher trainings before you actually teach. If that's you, guys, start and the pressure will be off. I can't begin to tell you, I could cry just saying this, the day I taught Ego Eradicator, I was 2 weeks into my teacher training and I said, "Eff it, let's go," and I just went and I felt so much pressure off. I felt so much lift. Because I just knew, I felt this technology must be shared. I can't hold it, I can't keep it for myself, I can't just sit in my apartment by myself like this. I gotta give this. And sharing it, the pressure, it just lifted, it was like, huh, thank you, thank you, thank you. And I wasn't the perfect teacher, and I look back and I was teaching Ego Eradicator wrong, everyone's arms were like this, everyone was breathing backwards, it was a mess, but I did it, and I started. And in those moments when we just get to go, just go, the pressure's off and then we clear the path and we are guided to the next right action. And that is the most magnificent thing we could do right now.

What's the first step to overcoming the fear or transforming the fear?

To witness it. To be the non-judgmental witness of it. To look at it and say, something's gotta give, right? So, If you're unwilling to look at your fear head-on and honor it and witness, I always say, if you don't show up for what's up, it will keep showing up. So looking and saying, you know, I witness my resistance, and you see that fear as resistance. Fear is the resistance to what it is that you desire. And in the absence of resistance, you become a magnet for what you desire. When you let go of that fear and you transcend that fear, that's when you start to become a super attractor. That's when you start to let what is truly of essence for you into your life, what is truly of service for you into your life, what is true happiness into your life. And so looking at the fear, witnessing it, calling it by its name, and even if you don't have the tools yet, what happens is when you look at the fear and you're like, oh, I see this fear, I see this resistance, I see how it's blocking my life, and I choose to see it differently, that's when you listen to an audio like this. That's when a book like yours will fall off the shelf.

A catalyst will open up.

Exactly, you open up your consciousness pretty much. You crack open your consciousness to find solutions rather than find problems. And so when you're not looking at the fear, you're just living in the fear and you're believing in the problem. But when you witness the fear and you're willing to see it differently, you start living in the solution. As I commit to happiness fully, exactly what I need is coming towards me because I become a magnet. I become an energy field that is so magnetizing, that is so excited, that's so inspired that other people want to support and work with that energy. And so when we dwell in We become a magnet for that which we desire. So my hope for you all is to start to think about the things that you want to succeed in, whether it's succeeding in romantic relationships or succeeding in your career or succeeding in your health goals, and make a commitment today to bring more joy to that area of your life. Rather than seeing it as a struggle, rather than pushing forward with all this angst and negativity and neediness and control, just bring joy to it. Your successes will come when you commit to joy, when you commit to happiness. So find more joy in that physical exercise. I've been going to SoulCycle. I absolutely love it. It's so joyful for me, and that's helping me raise my butt because that was one of my goals and success. And then we have these moments where we want to really bring joy into our career. Well, if you're having a hard time in the office, just find ways to have more fun. And as we start to elevate that presence of joy, we will begin to magnetize the successes in our life. And so take this very seriously, bring this practice into your day-to-day experiences and make joy and happiness your number one priority and recognize how your successes will be brought to you in a form far greater than you could ever imagine when your primary focus is happiness. Once you make that willingness to change, the book falls off the shelf or the teacher shows up in a form that you could have never imagined. Or you hear something on the radio, or you meet a cab driver, or some enlightened conversation comes into your realm that all of a sudden is that shift that you needed to make that change and create that catalyst that becomes your greatest accomplishment, your greatest shift. And so that's all we need at first is that slight willingness. That willingness that I had, that desire to change, that moment to shift was all I needed to become the woman I am today. To live that life beyond my wildest dreams. And so when I became ready, I opened up and I said, okay, I'm ready for change. But what's beautiful and what is the main purpose of what I teach is that once you make that decision to change, you do not have to do it by yourself. You cannot be expected to make these changes on your own. All you need is that slight willingness. If you're resenting somebody else, you're really just unconsciously resenting yourself. Witnessing very quickly, who do I need to forgive? Is it me? Is it somebody else? And very quickly turning it back onto you and choosing the pathway of forgiveness, forgiving yourself for having a judgmental thought, forgiving yourself for being in attack, forgiving yourself for having a feeling that is unkind, forgiving yourself for being judgmental towards yourself or attacking towards yourself. Whatever is up for you in the moment, just practice the F word. If you can't get to the feeling of forgiving yourself, forgive yourself, say that you are willing to forgive yourself. Just saying in that moment, I am willing to forgive myself for XYZ. I'm willing to forgive myself for being in this bad mood. I'm willing to forgive myself for what I just said. I'm willing to forgive myself for what I'm holding on to. And just opening yourself up to the practice of self-forgiveness will change your mood and your energy in a minute or less. I swear by this. This is probably the key to my freedom, my happiness, my success. Success is, is my willingness to forgive myself. So take that in and really own that for you and practice the F word all the time. So the next time you notice yourself in a bad mood, it might just be right in this moment right now, just say, I'm willing to forgive myself, and see what unfolds. See how your energy changes, see how your feelings begin to shift, and see that bad mood just dissipate instantly. There are no idle thoughts. So if you want to live a mindful life, you have to recognize the magnitude of your thinking. If you're sitting here and you're judging your loved ones, or you're judging a friend, you're weakening your own energy and you're weakening theirs. Every being around you in some way is picking up the frequency of your thoughts. Some people are looking at me perplexed, like, "What the hell is she talking about?" Right now I can hear your thoughts. I can, I know exactly what you're thinking. It's not that I can hear it, it's that I can feel it. Think about it, you know, you could be in those relationships where like you're boss and you know you do everything perfectly, but in your head you're like, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. And they just, they don't want to promote you. They don't want to support you. There's constant tension within the relationship. You could say all the right things, but if you don't think it, if you don't transform and clean up your thinking, then you're literally polluting the planet. So first and foremost, we got to think about what we're thinking. And so how do we change those thoughts? Because you might be thinking, okay, that sounds great, but like, I'm down Negative Nancy lane, and I don't know how to change direction. How do I make a U-turn? Alright, so some simple tools. First and foremost, witness it. Yesterday I was saying this, look at your crazy and call it by its name. It's fear. When you see those crazy thoughts show up in your life, when you hear those thoughts of, I'm not good enough, I'm better than, that person's terrible, I have two choices. I can continue down the road, and I can continue down that dark path, or I can actually pivot, I can redirect, I can choose again. So let's just play it out. You're walking around Wanderlust, and somebody cuts you in line to the pizza truck, and you know I'd be pissed. Somebody cut me in line at that pizza truck. And you wanna go like, why'd they cut me in line? In that space, notice your angst, witness your story, and instead of thinking, "I'm gonna fight back," think, "That is a call for love." Anyone who has the audacity to cut me in the pizza line, but seriously, like, anyone that's rude, 'cause I cut in the pizza line sometimes, like, I'm a cutter, I like to cut lines sometimes, but really, what is it? It's my own insecurity being like, "I gotta show people that I can get ahead of the line," whatever it is, right? Seeing it and being like, that is their call for love. That's their unconsciousness. That's their, that's their, that's their lack of mindfulness. Really, really feel what it would feel like to be in the action of what it is that you are dreaming of. And what does that feel like to be on the career path that is your dream? Or what does it feel like to be doing the work in the world that you've been so longing to bring forth? Or what does it feel like to be spreading an empowering message in a unique and innovative way? And in The process of gathering those feelings, we do it through meditation. Sit in your meditation for 2 to 3 minutes a day and just allow yourself to cultivate the feeling of what it is that you desire. I have had many experiences throughout my life where I've just allowed myself to be in the feeling of service or in the feeling of excitement of seeing myself on a stage or in the feeling of seeing myself sitting next to Oprah and doing an interview. And all of those emotional feelings that came forth in my meditations became the manifestations of my life. So take very seriously the thoughts and the feelings. When we start to shift our perceptions, when we start to see things with a better perspective, when we start to see our experiences as, as obstacles turning into opportunities, or a resentment as a divine assignment to forgive more, or a moment of lack as an opportunity opportunity to focus on what we're grateful for rather than focus on what we don't have. We start to make these shifts within our life, what begins to happen is that we begin to have more faith in that way of being. And so the neat thing that occurs, and this has been my experience the past 6 years of practicing the life of a spirit junkie, is that now my choices, my moment-to-moment choices, are choosing more of a positive perspective. When there's traffic, my first thought is, "Okay, I welcome the traffic to go away." I start to think about the ways, or if I'm supposed to be late, maybe I'm meant to be there late. Maybe there's something greater coming. Or if something doesn't happen the exact way that I believe it should happen, I know, and my first thought is, "There's something way greater coming." So this is just the type of miracles that occur and the ways that your mind begins to shift when you start to practice these principles in every corner of your life. I think it's really valuable for us to recognize that when we're on a spiritual path, that's our path, but it's not for everybody. And not everyone wants to know every detail of our path. We have to trust that our shift in perception, our energetic changes, the raising of our own energy will help raise the energy of other people around us. And hopefully we'll start to see how we are no longer an energetic match for the people that don't think and feel the way that we feel. And so slowly we'll begin to see those folks begin to melt away. We'll see them disappear, we'll see them fall off in our life, and we'll see some of our relationships begin to change. And sometimes that's a little bit alarming for people, but it's actually a good sign. It's a sign that you are not stuck in that pattern anymore. It's a sign that your desire to change has been lifted and that you now are vibrating at a new frequency and those relationships will melt away. If those relationships are still coming up for you while you're in this path of transformation, what I often say is rather than pointing the finger at those people saying, "Oh, you're ruining my life. You're making things difficult." My hope and my intention for you would be that you begin to look at those folks and say, "What is it about me that is still triggered by their behavior?" What is it in me that may be attracting this type of person into my life? What is it within me that is still calling in this kind of experience? And so get honest with yourself. What is it within me that's calling this in? How am I participating in this? And how is this experience, uh, coming from a dark corner within my psyche? And recognizing that the outside world is always reflecting our internal condition, and recognizing the mirror— that people are always mirroring back to us what we are feeling. So if she has people coming up into her life, negative friends, people that are jealous, she says negative people randomly popping back in, and she wants to keep them at a distance, well, the real work is to just open and rev up your practice. Pray for them, extend light to them, and sometimes politely excuse yourself from the experience. Sometimes we have to remove ourselves from those experiences. And then most importantly, ask yourself, what is it within me that may be attracting some of this behaviour? Get honest with yourself. Okay. No matter what's up, choose to show up with love. Choose to show up with grace. Now, if something really tough is up, maybe just choose to show up with self-compassion. If you're going through something, I'm not going to sit here and recommend that if you're going through a traumatic period in your life, I'm not going to recommend that you wake up and you're like, "It's rainbows and butterflies and Gabby Bernstein's Spirit Junkie app." No. That's not what I'm gonna recommend. What I'm gonna recommend is you wake up and you say, I'm gonna choose to see myself with love today. I'm gonna choose to be compassionate and kind to myself today. I'm gonna choose to go slow today. But that's still a very, very mindful morning. Okay, so in the morning is probably the most crucial time to be conscious of your mindfulness and show up with grace and show up with love and bring it. Bring it, bring it, bring it in the morning.

Thank you guys so much for watching. I made this video because Kim asked me to. Also, if you want to nominate someone for the next top 10 video, please check the description for a link to a video where you can vote for people and put in your suggestions as well. I'd love to know what did you take from this video? What was the most important lesson that you learned that blew your mind that you're going to immediately apply? To your life or your business somehow, please leave it down in the comments below. I'm super curious to find out. I also want to give a quick shout out to Steph Reveron. Steph, thank you so much for picking up a copy of my book, Your One Word, and posting another great picture to Instagram. I really appreciate the support and I'm glad you're enjoying the read. So thank you guys again for watching. I believe in you. I hope you continue to believe in yourself and whatever your one word is. Much love. I'll see you guys next time. See you soon.

It's very easy to show up at work every day and say, I hate this, I can't stand my boss, I hate sitting next to this person, my cubicle sucks. There's a million ways we can get completely whacked out with the stories of why we don't like our job. So just have fun and lean towards the things that elevate you, and the more you focus on the things that are fun for you and the more you focus on the, on the good that is around you, the more fun you become, the more cool you become. When you're in that place of you're cool, people want to do more with you. You'll get those assignments that are going to be far more exciting. The people that may be difficult in your career relationships will start to actually change. They'll see you differently. They'll act differently around you. When you're having a good time, the people around you have a good time and that will help you get ahead very quickly, smoothly, and with joy. The next phase here is also to become grateful for what it is that you do have. So if you're starting to try to create change in your life, you want to make sure that you're really focusing on what it is that you do have in your life so that you feel an energy of gratitude. And an energy of gratitude can really open you up to this incredible capacity to feel more energized, to feel more happy, In any given moment where you feel like, "Oh, I don't have what I need," or, "I'm not supported," or, "Things aren't working out," the simple step here is to just say, "I am grateful for what I do have." When we look and we say, "I am grateful for what I do have," we create more of what we want. The energy of gratitude opens our heart and it expands our energy and it makes us a much more wonderful, loving person to be around. With that loving energy, we begin to attract more into our life. And so we want to really make sure that that energy of gratitude is a very pinnacle part of this miracle worker process, which is that we stay committed and open to what it is that we are here to receive, and we stay committed and grateful for what it is that we have. So you can begin today just by making a gratitude list and focus on it. There are so many moments when I think, oh my God, I can't believe I have to do this, or I can't believe I have to get to that, and then I just think about what I'm grateful for, and it just spins me immediately out of the crazy chaos and back into a centered place of love. And so I think that this is a really valuable tool for you to begin to use regularly, and it's an active tool throughout the book May Cause Miracles. When you fully accept that you are here to be great, when you fully accept that you are here to be happy, when you fully accept that you are here to receive, when you fully accept that you can have the peace and the serenity and the joy and the wisdom and the purpose and the intention that you intend to bring to the world, and that it is all available to you, that's when life gets very groovy. And so my hope and my intention for today is to wake you up to that presence, and more importantly, give you a really great New York City kick in the ass that says, "Not only I'm awake to it, not only do I believe in it, but I am committed to it. I am unapologetic about my capacity to be great. I am unapologetic about my capacity to heal. I am unapologetic about my capacity to see beyond my physical sight. I am unapologetic about my capacity to shine as bright as I can shine, because I trust and I know that when I shine bright, I give others permission to do the same, and in my glow, they wake up too. And that is why we're here.