How to Find Your Inner Strength with Mindfulness | Wayne Dyer's Wisdom in 3.5 Hours

Are you too busy to see the beauty right in front of you? You chase food, noise, and distractions, but miss the quiet power inside. In this radio show, Wayne Dyer shows how fasting clears your mind, how mindfulness turns syrup and spiderwebs into miracles, and how true strength comes from stillness. You don't need more, just eyes to see and a heart that's awake. Special thanks to Hay House for partnering with us to release this content exclusively on my YouTube channel. And if you make it to the end of the video, put a hashtag #believe in the comments below so we can feature you in a future video.

Dr. Wayne Dyer joins us in Maui, and you are alive, right?

So I don't know, I think so. Me and L. Ron Hubbard, we just keep writing books.

Oh no, no, it's good to hear your voice. I hope you had a great weekend.

I had actually a great, uh, the last 10 days or so have been, uh, fascinating for me because I put myself through something I do a couple times a year. I just did a a fast for 10 days. Oh wow, no solid food, master cleanse, just drinking organic lemonade and organic maple syrup and cayenne pepper. So last night was my first day back on food. I had a couple of oranges and orange juice, and that's just an amazing process. I don't know if you've ever done much fasting.

I've never done 10 days, no.

It would be a challenge. I've done this cleanse as much— I did the longest I've ever done on it is 28 days, 28 straight days, almost a month without eating. But after a few days, the hunger part, you just kind of laugh at it and you look at it. And it always reminds me of that very famous story of Siddhartha. Remember Buddha as a young man talking with his companion Govinda? And Siddhartha was practicing fasting, and Govinda finally looked at him and said, I just don't understand, what good is fasting? And Siddhartha responded— this was Buddha speaking— he said, I can laugh at hunger. And, uh, that line is— I've never forgotten that line for some reason. That's because hunger is one of these things I especially— I hear my kids, if 2 hours have gone by and they haven't had something to eat, I'm starving, I'm starving, come on, when are we going to eat? It's like that. I said, you are so far from starving or anything about knowing anything about starving. But the ability to just look at this body of yours and realize that who you are isn't this body, and that, uh, you know, taking care of it and treating it well is, uh— and the fast, the whole process of fasting is, uh, I think it's just the discipline.

Well, a lot of traditions fast.

Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, especially in India and places like that.

How do you feel after?

Oh, I feel phenomenal. I feel younger, I feel lighter, I feel smarter, I feel stronger because so much of our— and you become aware of this after the 6th, 7th, 8th day of fasting, that how much emphasis there is on food and how much we plan our life around what we're going to eat. And then if you turn on the television, I mean, every other commercial on there is showing you a greasy pizza cheeseburger with the cheese coming down, or a double cheeseburger, or, you know, they're just showing constantly, you know, tempting us with all of these different kinds of foods and so on. So anyway, it's just a discipline that I really like to practice in my life. So, and I've also been thinking a lot about something called mindfulness. Have you ever read Thich Nhat Hanh?

Yes, I love— I actually saw him speak here in—

did you?

Yeah, about 2, no, maybe 3 years ago, he spoke at this big Buddhist monastery here in Escondido called Deer Park. And I have to tell you, the whole experience The audience was really incredible because it was like a Woodstock. I mean, people were leaving their cars up on this dirt road and they're all like, "Oh, we have to see him speak." I mean, there was just such a sense of excitement and, you know, just people were so happy to be able to hear him speak.

Yeah, he's a Vietnam veteran. He's a great teacher. Beautiful teacher. And he teaches something called mindfulness. And it's, you know, Tim Ryan has a— you know, a book out about mindfulness, uh, the Mindful Nation, teach, you know, putting it into the schools and putting it into practice where we practice something called mindfulness. And mindfulness just is— here's one of Thich Nhat Hanh's quotes. He says, walk as if you are kissing the earth with your feet. It's a practice of putting your mind and your consciousness onto exactly where you are in the moment and being able to find beauty It's one of the great teachings that I learned as a young man is that looking at beauty in the world is the very first step in purifying the mind, you know, to be able to find beauty. I remember the story I told of Viktor Frankl when I was with him in 1978 on a panel in Vienna, the great Viktor Frankl who wrote Man's Search for Meaning. And he said that they would give— we had lunch after that, just the two of us. I was very, very touched and it was one of the most memorable moments of my life. And he said to me, when we were given a bowl of dirty water with a floating fish head in it, and that was our protein for the day. And he said you had to be able to find a way to find beauty in that. He said when you were challenged with circumstances over which we have absolutely no control, that we're challenged to change ourselves. And instead of looking at this as poor me and this shouldn't be happening and isn't this awful, but looking at it in terms of this is where I am, this is where I am in here in this moment. And in this moment, I'm going to find beauty in this and be in a state of appreciation for this fish, for it's giving its life to me, it's allowing me to survive, and so on. And he said the people— he told me, and I'll never forget this— he said the people in the concentration camps— this was in Auschwitz in Poland— he said the people who couldn't find beauty in the circumstances that they were in, the horrible circumstances that they were in, he said they would always perish. He said you've got to be able to to see beauty. You know, the famous line from John Keats in Ode on a Grecian Urn: Beauty is truth, and truth is beauty. That's all you know on earth, and all you need to know. So that this ability— and that's what mindfulness is. It's walking on the earth and kissing the ground with your feet with each step that you take, and becoming aware of it. He talks frequently about being able to find beauty in just drying a dish in the dishwasher. Did he talk about that when you heard him speak? Because he He often uses that example of the—

I don't remember that particular story, but he did talk about mindfulness and, you know, bringing yourself into the present moment when you're pulled in so many directions that a lot of times you're living in the past or looking forward to something that hasn't happened.

Right. Yeah, a lot of people sit down, you know, and while they're sitting down for a meal, they're already thinking about what they're going to have for dessert, you know, and instead of just being there in this moment, if this is the appetizer and this is the bite that I'm taking and, you know, and this is what I'm tasting in this moment and, and to find beauty in virtually everything that there is in here. It's a way of making the mind pure. So anyway, while I was— this cleanse that I do is, uh, it has 3 components to it. You have to take organic lemons. I went through about 120 lemons in the last, uh, 10 days. And you have to squeeze the lemon juice out with each glass that you take because you can't just make a whole big batch of it because all of the goodies, the enzymes and so on that you really need from the lemons, all evaporate into the air within 20 minutes after you do this. So it's very important to just be in a place where you can make these, uh, these drinks every few hours whenever you want. You can drink as much of it as you want. And then an equal amount of organic maple syrup and then cayenne pepper, and that's your nutrition for the next 10 days. So while I was In the process of, uh, and I was thinking about Thich Nhat Hanh because I had just read some of his stuff on mindfulness, and I'm getting ready to— I'm preparing myself for my workshop this coming Sunday in Portland with Anita Moorjani, which I'm really excited, called I Am Light, you know, finding that light inside of us. And so I was doing the preparation for one of the drinks, and it was in the evening, and it was the second or third day that I was on the cleanse, and It isn't until about the fourth day that the hunger starts to disappear, and it's no longer something that dominates you. You feel it, you experience it, but you just— you're not trapped by it. It isn't something that you feel, okay, I've got to put this food in me or I'm going to die. So I'm pouring the syrup out, and I have it poured in a, uh, in this little tablespoon container. And I was pouring the syrup in there, and all of a sudden I started to think about this syrup and what it was and where it came from. And that it was in a tree someplace up in Canada or up in Vermont, and that it had, you know, it was like it was a gift. I mean, imagine a tree that just gives us a gift of nutrition, and it's one of the healthiest things that we can eat. So I was just in a real state of appreciation for this syrup as I was pouring it and thinking about where it was and how it got there and what it took for somebody to tap that and to put it into a container. And to, you know, and I've had this container because I bought a case of this syrup because I do this cleanse several times a year. I bought a whole case of it and it's been sitting in my cupboard for about a year, year and a half, and the expiration date on this syrup is something like 2023. So I mean, it lasts for a very, very long time, you know. And so who knows how long or what tree that it came from. And I was just going through and sort of the— I don't know, it's maybe it's the poet in me, the, the part of me that just can just go off onto that thing. And then as I poured it in there and as I licked the spoon, you know, that's one of the things that you do on this friends is that you take the syrup and you pour it into this little plastic spoon, and then you put it into the water, and then you mix it, and then whatever's left over, you just, you know, you just lick every little bit of it. And I'm thinking about what a wonderful, glorious taste this is, and what a wonderful gift, and what a miracle it is that you take a seed and plant it into the ground, and then these roots grow, and then this thing comes up above the ground, and then it turns into a tree, and then the tree starts giving us back. It gives us back life. you know, in the, in the form of this syrup. And, and we just kind of take it all for granted. And I was in this deep state of appreciation for this syrup and what it was giving to me. And then it made me think about— and I looked it up— it made me think about, uh, Rumi, who's probably my favorite, all-time favorite poet. In fact, I'm going to be going to his, the place where he is buried, very holy site in Turkey, in October when we do the cruise. I'm going to take a special private plane over to Konya and be in the place where one of the holiest places on the planet in Turkey where Rumi is buried alongside Shams of Tabriz, the two people who were responsible for some of the greatest poetry that's ever been written, the Masnavi. It just goes on and on, something like 600,000 lines of poetry. And there's one in there, he wrote a poem, this is how poets think. He wrote a poem about a chickpea. You know what a chickpea is?

Sure, make hummus out of it.

Yes, exactly. So there's a poem called Chickpea to a Cook, and it's a chickpea speaking. And it's just— I'm going to just do a few lines of it, because as soon as I started thinking about this syrup, I sat down and I was going to write a poem about the gratitude I have for whatever seed it was and wherever that seed came from that was put into the ground, and how long ago that happened. It might have been 100 years ago. Who knows that this all happened and this tree emerged and then the, you know, it developed the capacity to create what I was sitting here enjoying right now. And this is the opening of his poem called Chickpea to a Cook, written back in the 13th century. A chickpea leaps almost over the rim of the pot where it's being boiled. Why are you doing this to me? The cook knocks him down with the ladle. Don't you try to jump out. You think I'm torturing you? I'm giving you flavor so you can mix with spices and rice and be the lovely vitality of a human being. Remember when you drank rain in the garden? That was for this. Grace first, sexual pleasure, then a boiling new life begins, and the friend has something good to eat. Eventually the chickpea will say to the cook, 'Boil me some more. Hit me with the skimming spoon. I can't do this by myself. I'm like an elephant that dreams of gardens back in Hindustan and doesn't pay attention to his driver. You're my cook, my driver, my way into existence. I love your cooking.' The cook says, 'I was once like you, fresh from the ground. Then I boiled in time and boiled in the body. Two fierce boilings.' My animal soul grew powerful. I controlled it with practices and boiled some more and boiled once beyond that and became your teacher.

Wow.

Chickpea to a cook by Jalaluddin Rumi.

So we're all still boiling right now. Yes, we're in that process.

But a poet can take any moment and turn something and turn it into beauty. Beauty is truth. You know, truth is beauty. That's all you need to know on Earth. That's all there is to know. And you know, you can look around, whoever you are listening, wherever you are on this planet right now, um, look out your window or look to your right or look to your left, wherever you are, you know, in a little room someplace or sitting on a beach somewhere or driving in your car or whatever it might be, and just look around, you know, if there's a painting on the wall, if there's a, you know, right now I'm I'm looking at a surfboard. That's, uh, my son was just here with me for 35 days, and I really miss him so much. He left last night. And, um, you know, as I look at this surfboard, I could write a poem about my son and how he loves to stand up on that surfboard and ride those waves, how it's his life. It's been his life since he was 4 years old. It's his passion. He can't hardly ever think about anything else other than just being one with the ocean and a wave. That's a poem. And so we were sitting out on the lanai, on the patio on Maui, and all of a sudden a praying mantis— you know what a praying mantis is?

Sure, one of those weird-looking insects that looks like his little feelers are praying.

Yeah, weird-looking is right. I mean, so this thing flies up and lands right on the railing. Of the, you know, of the balcony. And it just starts— it's walking across the railing all the way across. Then it gets to the end, and then it turns around and it walks all the way back to the other side. And then it starts doing this again. And for about 20 minutes, my son and I are just standing there looking at this thing. So he, of course, runs and gets his iPhone, and he said, I'm going to take a picture of this thing. And then he took a picture, and we got a real close-up. This thing, it was almost like it was— it came to visit us. And it didn't want to leave. And they are, you know, when you look at one of these things, crazy. First of all, they have 6 legs. You know, the 2 front legs are like arms, which I guess they capture little tiny insects or whatever, and that's what they eat. Its head, it's sort of like a diamond shape, and it looks as if, uh, like it's an alien of some kind, you know. It's like it's— and it's got 2 little hairy antennas that go off, one to the left and one to the right. And it's, you know, I don't know if you know about the sexual practices of a praying mantis.

Not so much.

No?

Well, it's a very fascinating one because the female, after she is impregnated, the minute, the second after she is impregnated, she turns around and bites the head off of the male.

That's the truth.

That's interesting. I never knew that.

And then that's the end of that male's, that's his journey. His journey is to come here and to produce another one, and then she makes sure that he doesn't go any further. I had a wife like that one. No, I won't. I'm just kidding. So we looked it up, and all of a sudden we're both examining, you know, what is a praying mantis? And the spiritual consequences of a praying mantis. My son says, look, Dad, look at this, what this says in here. And it says that when a praying mantis comes and stays with you and just visits you, it's really the, um, it's the presence of a recently deceased person in your life who is just showing up for whatever. That's symbolically, spiritually, that's kind of what it means. And so on.

Wow.

But, uh, and it's not like I want to talk so much about praying mantises and about maple syrup and, uh, you know, and about a chickpea and all of this. What I want to say to all of you is that, you know, the very first step in purifying your mind and moving into higher levels of consciousness and recognizing the eternal infinite consciousness that you are is to look at beauty in the world and see it in as many places as you can. And if you're a writer, you write a poem about it. I mean, there's 3 or 4 poems in there right now that I, you know, that, and if I were talking, if Rumi were here listening, and maybe he is, maybe that was Rumi, you know, in the because I have such a love affair with his poetry. Maybe it was Rumi walking across my balcony on the railing saying, find beauty in me. Just one of the, one of the strangest experiences I've had. And that all came from Thich Nhat Hanh. And, and since, since we had that experience, and since I was reading him this week, I've been finding beauty in everything, you know, and every little bird that flies by, and every person that's out there, and every wave that shows up, and, and so on.

So it's a great reminder. Yeah, just to open your eyes and look around and, uh, you see beauty everywhere, like a spider web. I'm always amazed, how do they do that?

Oh my God, intricate patterns. I had a spider web in my toilet area. I don't know if I think I told you about Gus, you know, that, uh, you know, and I, and I just wouldn't let the people who come in here and clean— I would leave a note if I would go away, say don't, don't destroy Gus's little home. And I would watch this thing, uh, build this, uh, this spider web, and they build it from within themselves. You know, they spin it, it comes out of them what they make, and then they're actually able to— when sometimes they do it from a ceiling and they can hang on to what is coming out of their stomachs or wherever it's coming from. Yeah. And then all of a sudden it's this intricate, uh, beautiful design. And then I looked about a week later and there were all these tiny little things that must be flying in the air, like microscopic little, uh, that are trapped in there. And that's where they this thing eats, and he was perfectly happy in the corner of my bathroom. And every time I would go in there and sit down, I would kind of talk to Guy. I named him Gus. I don't know why.

That's a good spider name. Why not?

Maybe I'll name that praying mantis Rumi or Jalaluddin or Mevlana, which means our master. Yeah, Mevlana in Farsi. Anyway, that's all I wanted to say about mindfulness and the chickpea and the maple syrup. And how great I feel after fasting for 10 days, how much energy I have. And so I encourage you to think about that. They say about fasting that what it does is it gives the body a rest because the process of digesting food is really a very, very involved and intricate, you know, experience. And there's an awful lot of work that has to go through. So your body is constantly— every time you're putting food in there, you know, it now has to go to work with, you know, processing it and digesting it and eliminating it and getting all the chemicals and making sure it's all in the— all of this done is done automatically. And when you, uh, when you give yourself a chance to fast, you, you let the rest of your body heal, you know, because, uh, it needs to heal just like you need to sleep every day in order to keep yourself strong. You need to give your body a rest from, from all of this food and all this eating all the time. And it's also a great, a wonderful reminder to, uh, about how powerful your mind is and what you can, how you can use your mind to, uh, make your, uh, you know, to make yourself, you know, much healthier and happier and so on. I have to try it sometime.

Yeah, yeah.

I don't know if I could do 10 days, but—

Of course you could.

A couple days maybe, but yeah.

I promise you, you could. You're a lot stronger than you think you are. If you had to, you definitely could.

That's true.

Yeah, so anyway, that's what I wanted to say. All right, let's take some calls.

Ready to chat? Okay, let's take a couple of people. This is a good one. Let's start with Mary in Massachusetts. and she's on line 1 and wanted to share a story with you. And thanks for holding, Mary. Hi, hi, you're on with Dr. Dyer.

Hi, Diane, how are you guys?

I'm good, how you doing?

Good, I'm a little nervous, I'm, or I should say I'm very excited. This is like a dream come true to be able to talk to you.

Um, oh, where are you in Massachusetts?

In Western Mass.

Where?

Western Massachusetts.

Western Mass, oh, okay.

Yeah, yeah, do you know, do you know near Springfield?

Yeah, yep, yep, yep, right, right, um, a little bit north from Springfield.

That's where the Basketball Hall of Fame is.

Yes, yes, and I live where the, um, Volleyball Hall of Fame is, so volleyball was invented in my hometown.

Oh really?

Yeah, yeah, pretty interesting.

It's just, yeah, you know, so anyways, I wanted to, um, talk about, um, a recent experience I've had with, um, addiction Okay, just a little bit about like myself. Like, um, I'm generally like a very like happy person, came from a great family and whatever, but when I was 15, I ended up having this addiction to food, you know. It was basically like an overeating addiction, you know. And, and I like up and down, like, you know, psychoanalyze myself forever about like where it came from or how it came from. But like the bottom line is that it came into my life and it's been like I mean, that was almost 20 years ago. So it's kind of been this like dark shadow in my life since then. And, you know, I've, you know, grown up and, you know, done a lot of great things and, you know, remained a very positive person, but have had this like addiction, you know, and throughout the years it's gotten worse. You know, it started off kind of just like, you know, annoying, and then it got really worse, and then it just took me to like these really dark places. And, you know, I've been up and down. I journal a lot. I've written, you know, about it for, for so many years. And, and it's interesting to go back and read my journals because, like, you know, when I'm in a good place, I'm like, oh, how dark could I have gotten, you know, to get— but I, you know, I remember that. And so when, you know, I am in my light, happy place that, like, I would say I usually am in, it's really hard for me to accept that darkness that I've been through. And thankfully it hasn't been something like alcohol or drugs that was life-threatening, but it's been really hard anyways, just having the food, just having something outside of you take control of you and kind of—

Yeah, and by the way, food can be every bit as life-threatening as any drug.

Absolutely, yes. And I've been, I'm very athletic, so I've been a runner, I've run marathons, but I fluctuated in weight because of the different spots I've been in. But anyways, I, you know, I don't want to talk too much about myself. What I want to talk about is, um, is because I know there are so many people out there that, that deal with addictions, you know, whether it's with drugs, alcohol, food, or— and, um, and, you know, I have a very close relationship with God, and, um, you know, I always have. And I grew up, um, thankfully in a family that really, you know, drilled that into me in this really, you know. So all through this, I never knew— I never thought that I was alone, but I definitely did feel like, okay, I'm like, "What are you doing here to me? Like, what's going on?" And— but I always had, you know, that faith that pulled me through. But I realized, you know, this is a gift for me to have been able to experience this because I have such compassion and to people that are, you know, that are experiencing this in their lives. And, you know, and each time it comes back, and I recently just— I really had a tough summer and into the winter because I just with different stresses in my life, it really— the addiction really pulled me back in. And, you know, so I had this conversation recently with God, and I was just like, I, I get it, I get it, you know, I get it that, you know, you have to go into the darkness to get the light. And I've done all the spiritual work, and I've, you know, read so much. I've read all your stuff, you know, and so many other people, Abraham Hicks. And it's not, you know, it's on the gamut of the spiritual, like, journey, and, you know, the surrender and the self-love and the, you know, healing workshops and the healing this and the healing that. And I'm just like, okay, I give up, you know, I've given up and I've surrendered. But it's still been there and I'm like, what the heck? You know, what the heck do I have to surrender to? You know, and I was like, this demon, this like darkness that comes into me and just, you know, holds on to my heart and I can't be happy, you know, I can't pass that. And I, you know, I was lying in bed one night and this, you know, the demon comes in, it's telling me how awful I am and this and that and how, you know, you can't overcome this. You know, it's just going to be your—

this is what you're supposed to live for.

And you know, there's that, you know, that small part of me that was like, I don't believe that. Like, I don't believe that, you know. What do I have to surrender to? And I was at work one day and I just— it just popped into my head and I was like—

and I said—

it sounds weird, but I said, what do I have to surrender to? Do I have to surrender to the devil? Like, do I have to surrender to the darkness? And then it was like, bam! It was like Yeah, you do.

You do.

And I— and it was— and I know that that sounds weird because me growing up in, you know, a Catholic family and always being closer, you know, it was kind of just like, "You know, they've been through that, like that the devil doesn't exist," and, you know, but there was a part of me that still believed that there was a darkness within me. And when I realized that I'm like, everything that I do, every choice that I make, every circumstance that my life has, you know, brought me through has been the will of God. It like freed me from this duality of the addiction is bad and I'm bad and this is good. And I kind of just wanted to share that because it was such a big realization after trying to heal. And I realized that the, the attempt of me trying to feel something was basically me admitting that there was something other than God working in my life. And when I realized that, I was like, oh, Like, so even the choices— choices that I was making, bad choices, by like choosing over each or choosing to do this, or, you know, have all been God choosing through me because he wanted to experience that through me. And, but, and it's only stuck around for as long as it has because I've always thought that it was something that I had to escape from instead of something that I just loved.

And let me ask you something, Mary. Do you think that God is outside of you? Do you think it's like—

well, what, you know, I can say that there was a part of me that I guess would think that God was outside of me, you know, but I didn't think that. So I didn't think that. I still realized that until recently, you know what I'm saying? Like, someone would have— if I was to have a spiritual discussion with somebody, I'd be like, oh no, we are God, you know, we are God, and, and this.

But then I—

but then when I, you know, knowing that I had this, this thing, this darkness, or, you know, whatever you want to call it, really kind of— it kind of, uh, revealed that I obviously still do believe that. Like, I obviously still believe there's something.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, so let— because we, we have to be careful with the time. It's like coming to this realization that, uh, you know, what you're really trying to do at this time in your life is to reprogram your subconscious mind to have a different set of beliefs other than what you were imprinted with when you were very young, when you were very little. Very often this is through a lot of, you know, exposure to religious practices which say that, you know, God is this fearful being out there and is keeping watch over you. And then if you're not careful, then the devil is something that's going to come along and, you know, and infect you with all of these bad desires and so on. And, you know, to me that's just a whole mythology. It's just a whole recognition that the power to be able to control my life and to make my life into what I want it to be is located someplace other than within myself. And that's, uh, and, and you're— so the, the reprogramming, even saying the words, I mean, I notice you even hesitate to say the words, you know, that I am God, you know, that God is, you know, that I come from God, I am a piece of God, so therefore, and there is no place that God is not, so that, uh, it must be in me. And if it's in me, that that's who I am, that's my essence. My essence is this. And I have this programming that is trying to convince me that I'm, you know, that I'm something else out there, something dark is going to get me, and so on. And that's the movement that you're, you know, You know, that's what the essence of moving into a higher consciousness is really all about, is taking total responsibility. You know, everything that— and addictions, you know, that's one of the best ways to get over addictions. I've had many addictions in my life. I have a highly addictive personality. I began to realize that I no longer wanted to have to disappoint the highest place within myself, which is what I think God is. It's like I am a spark of God, a piece of God, and not God in the sense of bigger and better and stronger than everything and everyone else. But God is the way Jesus said God— what did Jesus say about God? God is what? Love. God is love. And so you're seeing it that way. If that doesn't mean there's a hierarchy there, that some one person is better than another person, or that, you know, that there's— you're going to offend some being out there who's going to take wrath on you by giving you these addictions, or he's going to sick his devil on you. I mean, even the whole idea of a devil, when you just— even if you just look at the spiritual literature, and if you just I mean, look at Genesis. In the beginning, God created heaven and earth, and all that God created was good. So that means everything that was created was created by this infinite intelligence that we're just calling God. Some people call it Tao, some call it spirit, God, you know, divine mind, whatever it is. And that it's the— it's responsible for all of creation, for everything came from it, which means that would have to be— it would have had to create the devil as well. I mean, it's like that right there at the very opening of Genesis. The concept of a devil and a Satan and all of this is just absurd notion that, uh, because if God created— if it's here, that means it was created by God. And if God created it, says right there, all that God created was good. So all of this other stuff is just the fanciful, uh, dreamings of your imagination. We've got to run, Mary. Thank you for your call. I'm glad that you're no longer— you ran marathons and you also had eating, uh, uh, you know, issues.

I ran one marathon, I ran one marathon. But, um, yeah, I've always been a runner. Running is my thing. I love it.

Yeah.

Marathon. Yeah. So, so thankfully I've had like a balance. I've had, you know, like—

yeah, that's, that's a major balance though. There aren't too many marathon runners who have issues with eating too much.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Anyway, thanks.

God bless you, dear.

Great call. Thank you. Namaste.

And let's go to Portland where you're going to be.

Oh my goodness.

And join Leslie. And maybe she'll be at the event. Leslie, thanks for holding on. You're on with Dr. Dyer today.

Thank you. Hello, Dr. Dyer. Diane, I'm so happy to talk to you.

Likewise.

I wanted to welcome you this weekend to the beautiful Pacific Northwest. It's kind of gray right now, but it's supposed to be really nice this weekend, like in the 70s.

Even if it— you know what, even if it's gray, it'll be nice. That's one of the things I've learned, is like that, that you know, even the rain or the grayness or all of it. It's just, again, it's that business of being in a state of beauty and appreciation for every, you know, all of it. The grayness, the beautiful sunny days, the, you know, the storms, all of it. It's amazing.

Yes, yes, yeah.

And I love Portland. I love, love Oregon. That's one of my favorite places.

Well, I'm just a little bit north in Washington. Um, I just moved down here a little while ago, so I'm more from the Seattle area and really am missing it right now. But there's, there's a lot down here, a lot of spiritual people for sure.

Is Powell's still there in Portland? Powell's Bookstore?

Yeah, I believe so.

I haven't been there yet, but I used to go when I was doing book tours back in the '70s and '80s and '90s and zero-zeros and all of them. I would frequently end up there giving a talk or signing books and so on. Great bookstore.

Yeah, well, and Anita Moorjani is one of the most inspirational people, well, besides you, that I can think of. Just her, she has such a divine presence about her, is so uplifting. And I remember the day that she called you and connected with you on the radio when she was in Hong Kong.

Remember that, Diane?

Yes, very much. Because I love that there was a calling.

Such a synchronistic thing. I mean, all of that and what has happened since then, and now she's gone on to be, you know, like this world-famous speaker, and she's traveling all over the world. We're doing seminars together. We partnered up. We're going down to Australia together. And yeah, yeah, and you're absolutely right. There is a presence. I mean, she was spared from— I don't know if spared is the right word, because she didn't want to come back when she was in that state. Her book is called Dying to Be Me. If you haven't read it, anybody out there, I really encourage you to do so. It's one of the most important books you'll ever read. It certainly transformed my life and getting to know her. Yeah, you said that she's one of the most inspirational people besides me, and I'd say no, in front of me. She's my inspiration as well. I just adore her.

Yeah, a couple questions. One was kind of personal one and one was a more general one. The one that might apply to other people is about kind of finding lost inspiration, or when you've had inspiration and you know there are things that you want to do in the background, but life circumstances have kind of gotten in the way. And then the question that comes up with me is like, you know, what is still possible? And so— and I do— I'm spiritual, I do channeled writing, and it's interesting what comes through. And the messages are always like, it is still possible. You know, things may be different than you might have imagined, but so much, you know, so much more is still possible than You think at this point it's just getting back into the groove, kind of thing.

Everything that now exists, said William Blake, everything that now exists was once imagined. So your imagination is the greatest gift that you've ever been given. This is not just for you and Leslie, but for everyone out there all over the planet. You know, the greatest gift that you've been given is your imagination. That's why I opened this show with that whole— were you listening at the beginning when I was reading Rumi? Story about the chickpea and about the maple syrup.

Yes, it made me not even want to be a vegetarian.

Is that what the plants are thinking? Yes, it's— oh, I see. You know, your imagination is totally, completely unlimited, and anything that you place into your imagination and you hold it there and give it, you know, positive affirmations on a— just on a regular basis, it isn't something that's going to manifest. It absolutely has to. It's the nature of the universe, you know, the divine intelligence, the Tao, what we call, you know, God, this invisibleness that's within all things. It will send experiences to you that match up to what you placed there in your imagination. But for most of us, we're sort of impatient with it, and we think that it should be happening right now. And I heard you say something about, well, circumstances sort of got in the way, but, you know, circumstances don't make a person, they reveal them. Whatever circumstances that you find yourself in are just revealing to you of where you've placed yourself, what kind of choices that you're making, what kinds of things that you're attracting into your life. And when the things that do show up in your life seem— don't seem to be consistent with what you think that they should be, you let go of that and you just get into a state of appreciation for them rather than judging them or wishing that it were different and so on. And saying there's something to learn in all of it. In every experience that we have, there's just something to learn. There's a poem in every experience that we have. And that's when you talk, you know, when you talk about how do you get back inspiration, you know, the word inspiration comes from, you know, the division of the two words in spirit. You just have to stay in spirit, inspirado. And as you begin to identify yourself not on the basis of the physical things that your five senses experience, but instead of on the invisibleness that is within you, we just don't think in unlimited ways. We're so often thinking in limitations like you are you're in Washington and then you're in Vancouver and now you're down in Portland. And these are— all of this is part of your dharma. This is what you signed up for before you ever showed up here on this planet. You know, it's all— and instead of wishing that it were all different, whatever, I'm just using your— what you just said to me. But I'm talking to everyone that's out there. See it all as the result of the experience. Have you read I Can See Clearly Now? Are you from— yeah, do you have it?

Because I don't have—

yeah, what that is is really a look at all of these sort of of almost mysterious experiences that showed up in my life that were turning me this way and then were turning me that way and then brought me back this way. And then the people that would show up and people that I met and the children that were born and all, you know, you start to see that, you know, and we have a tendency to think it's like this huge tapestry, but we have a tendency to think that the, you know, the darkness that shows up in that tapestry shouldn't be there. But, you know, even the dark threads, you know, in a tapestry, you know, bring beauty to the tapestry. So the darkness, it's part of the perfection of it. And if we don't interpret it as darkness and they just interpret it as what is, this is just what is, and I'm going to honor it and love it and, you know, maybe write a poem about it. Anyway, that's how you find inspiration, by just being, you know, in a state of gratitude for everything that shows up, you know, for everything. So what's the personal thing, Leslie?

Well, that is the more personal thing. I won't give details. I was going to ask One thing about Anita and her healing, if you've articulated kind of what the formula was that allowed her to heal so quickly— and I, you know, I know a lot of it. I know that she knew that when she came back, she knew that it was in her life plan that if she stayed here, she would heal. But a lot of people have illnesses where they don't know if it's within their, you know, their time, if it's their time to go, or if it's still possible to heal completely, like from a serious illness, or if they're older. And so is there something that we can learn from what she went through in that state? I mean, I know—

yeah, I don't— honestly, I just don't— my answer is I don't know. I just don't know. Why was she— it's such a unique thing because no one who's ever been in in that state of, uh, of end-stage cancer has ever even survived it, you know, as far gone as she was, let alone, you know, been healed from it and then had complete healing and now being out there telling the story. But it's what her dharma is. But what you have to remember is she did not want to come back into that body, right? And so what she did is she saw that the cancer was gone because there's no time in this realm of the invisibleness, you know, the spiritual realm. There's no such thing as time.

Time.

So when she was able to look into what we call the future, and she was able to see that even her medical records had been changed, she already saw that. So there was absolutely a complete banishment of doubt. She had already, you know, recognized that. And I think it's getting into that timeless state. The closest thing that where we can emulate that, I think, is in our dream state, where whatever we place our attention on, it manifests instantaneously. Absolutely. And I think the higher that we get in spiritual evolution and the more we're in contact with the infinite consciousness that we are, I think the less amount of time that passes between our thoughts and what it is that we would like to manifest and they're actually showing up. You know, it might take— you have a thought about doing something like, let's say, whatever it is that you're working on, architecture and so on, and you go to school up there in Vancouver and then you go in Washington and you come here and maybe 15 years later, you look back and you say, oh my goodness, now I know why I had to go through all of that, and then I manifested, and this is how it all worked out, from the benefit of 15 years of hindsight. Whereas if you look at the highest spiritual consciousness that we know about, say the Christ consciousness that Jesus lived in, he would just have a thought, and out of that thought would come enough food to feed the hungry. Very much like you can do, by the way, in your dream state. If you have a multitude of people that need to be fed, in your dream state, you can just wave your hand or whatever it is that you need to do, and the loaves and the fishes will appear. You have that capacity for one-third of your life to whatever it is that you want to manifest. So instantaneous manifestation is what we call Siddhi consciousness. It's just, it's instantaneous. And I see it happening for myself on occasion, you know, where I'll have a thought about something and it'll be there. And this is what Carl Jung called synchronicity. Where we'll have this absolute moment of you thought something and then it showed up, or you were thinking about someone and they called you on the phone. You know, you've had that kind of experience, but we have those in isolated experiences. But when you live at that higher level of spiritual awareness and consciousness, then, um, you know, that there's much and much, much— there's fewer and fewer amounts of time have to transpire before the manifestation shows up. And so it's really learning to purify ourselves. And purifying the mind. And one of the ways— two of the best ways to do that, by the way, are to focus on your health. That is, you know, to use your mind, that inner consciousness that you have, to make your body as healthy as it possibly can be, so that it isn't the end result of getting your body healthy, but it's the process of using your mind to make that happen. So that's when you start doing the exercise and when you start being conscious of what you're eating and so on.

On.

And the other, one of the best ways to really purify your consciousness is through nutrition, where again you begin to say, okay, my body is the temple that houses this who I am, and I am going to use this invisibleness within me to make it as absolutely healthy as I possibly can. This is something I practice on a regular basis. That's why I do things like a 10-day fast and just challenge myself. And I didn't even tell anyone that I was doing it. And now that it's over, I tell people. But while I was going through it, I just let it go. I just put that on myself. So it isn't like I, I look at myself now and, and there's, uh, you know, I lost some weight around the middle a little bit, and, but I feel lighter, I feel stronger. And it isn't that my body is in a better shape than it was 10 days ago that I feel good about. It's that I know that within me is this incredible power to be able to make my body work at the highest level I possibly can make it. And then you can begin to apply that inner kind of of awareness to not just your food and not just to your health, but to everything that you do in your life, to your mission, to what it is that you really want to accomplish, to your dharma, to how you relate to everyone in the world. It's like you start becoming aware of how powerful you are because you are God. You know, you're a piece of God. You're connected to the source.

Well, thank you so much for sharing so much of what you go through yourself. The healing that you've gone through and all of the wisdom gained along the way. And you have such a gift for being able to bring those concepts kind of into the mainstream and make it accessible to so many different levels of people. That's—

I just appreciate that so much.

Yeah, you've just identified my dharma. You've really just laid it out. That's exactly what it is. And I look back after I wrote I Can See Clearly Now, I look back on it and I realize that Every book that I've written, all of the programs that I put out and so on have really been to take sort of esoteric, obtuse kinds of concepts and to really simplify them, to make it easy, and to do it through the application of applying them in my own life. That must be what I signed up for.

Well, you've done it. You've done it really, really well.

Yeah. And now I'm just taking on higher consciousness. And I have been— You know, and one of the things I do, Leslie, is that when I get these impulses, like I had this really strong impulse to read— I had a dream about my friend Stuart Wilde. I don't know if you've heard about Stewie.

Sure.

Yeah, he was a dear, dear friend of mine, and he wrote a book called The Force that I read many, many years ago. And this week I could feel him around me because he passed away about a year ago in Ireland, and I just loved him so much. He was one of the influential people in my life. He really got me interested in the Tao, and Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life is a result of what he— how he piqued that interest in reading the Tao Te Ching. And he also was the one that encouraged, you know, me through his own example to just give up everything in one place and move to another and just let everything go, just let it all go. So anyway, I had this dream about him, and then I've been seeing him, and I just have so many fond memories of the places that we went to around the world together and so on. He and Deepak and I, my wife used to call us the Three Musketeers. And so I called my friend Reed Tracy, who's the president of Hay House. I sent him an email. I said, would you please FedEx to me a copy of The Force? And then 3 days later, I called and asked to have a copy of Your Infinite Self. And I read both of those books this week just because of that powerful— and I can see how it impacted me. And here I am talking about them again. I listen to that. Anyway, I just heard in my ear that we only have less than a minute to go. I can't even believe that. This whole hour just went by.

Now it's lunchtime for me and I want pancakes.

I have like a— I'm thinking of maple syrup.

No, you don't want pancakes. You want syrup.

I'll have to do something about that.

Much love.

Dr. Wayne Dyer is joining us now from Maui. And how's it going? How are you post-Thanksgiving? Feeling good?

Going fine, going fine. I have an announcement to make that, um, I wrote a book, uh, several years ago, um, back in the, in the '90s. It was called A Promise Is a Promise, and it was the story of a woman who was taking care of her daughter who was in a coma. It was about a, uh, the woman, her name was Kay O'Berra, and she, um, was taking care of her daughter. Slipped into a coma on the 3rd of January in 1970. When she was 17 years old, she was a diabetic and she had taken an oral form of insulin and she got the flu and she vomited up all of her, her insulin. And so she slipped into this coma. And as she was slipping into the coma, she said to her mother, you won't leave me, will you? You won't leave me. And the last words her mother said to her, she said, no, I will never leave you, I promise. And a promise is a promise.

So I read about her.

It was 25 years after that in 1995. That I read a story about her in the, in the newspaper and down in Florida at my home. And I was just so touched by this woman's selfless dedication to her daughter and living up to her promise that she had actually sat next to her and put her in, into her home and would feed her through a tube and so on, and, and refused to have life support removed from her because she knew that she would starve to death and she just couldn't bring herself to do that. And, and So she stayed in the coma and the mother just slept in a chair next to her for 25 years. And then I got to know the family. I sent them a copy of one of my books that I had written, a book called Real Magic, and went down to visit them in Miami a lot and spent a lot of time with them and decided to write this book and to have all of the proceeds, all of the profits, all of the royalties and everything go directly to the family to help them with it. And then Kay died about Oh, maybe 4 or 5 years ago. And meanwhile, Eduarda was still in the coma. And her sister Colleen, who had been in— actually had been incarcerated, and she had gotten herself addicted to, uh, to some kind of drugs. I'm not sure what they were, but she had gotten herself into trouble with the law. And when Kay got very sick, she came out of jail, and she just felt that Eduarda had saved her life. Her sister's life. And then after Kay died, Edwarda, or Colleen, took care of her up until the day before Thanksgiving. And then Colleen called me and she said I was the first person that she called. And Edwarda passed away on, I think, the 20th of November. It might have been the 21st at 7:15 in the morning, which is the middle of the night here when she called and told me. So she was in a coma from 1970 until, um, 2012. Um, so, and she, yeah, she was almost 60 years old. She was 58 or 59 years old, and they had taken care of her since she was a teenager. And there were many amazing stories about this woman. One, one time my son Sans, who was about 11 or 12 at the time, was taking a shower, and he came running out of the shower with a towel wrapped around him and said, said, Mom, Mom, Dad, Dad, you're not going to believe it. I saw Edwarter. She was in— she came into the bathroom, uh, and I saw her. I saw her in my shower. And, uh, and there were other people who had reported these kinds of visitations from her and had done healings with her and so on. So I wrote about a lot of those things in the book. It's called A Promise Is a Promise. And, uh, but anyway, a lot of people have asked me about her and so on, but, um, she left this earthly plane And Colleen, who has taken care of her now for the last 5 or 6 years, we're talking 24/7 here. This is, you know, someone who has to be cared for continuously. And she just couldn't believe that she wasn't still alive. She just thought that she was just resting. When the nurse, they had a nurse that would come in 3 or 4 times a week, she came in and said, no, she finally passed in the middle of the night. So I think it might be the longest anybody has ever stayed in a coma and stayed alive.

Wow.

No, I've never heard of that, of someone lasting that long in that state.

43 years.

Wow.

42 years.

And just the family taking care of her for so long. That's just incredible.

Just an incredible display of, of unconditional love and a commitment to living up to a promise, because Medicare or Medicaid or whatever it is wouldn't provide for it, wouldn't allow— for some reason, the funding wasn't going to be allowed. Unless she was in a hospital, and they wouldn't put her in a hospital because they just felt that they wouldn't be there in contact with them. So we used to go to her home all the time, and my daughter would sing for them, and we would all just talk. And I always swore that Colleen would— or that Eduarda would know when I was there. I would just sense a smile from her. And an amazing story. That's, uh, so anyway, the book is still out there, and of course all the proceeds still go to the family and and I'm going to be helping them with the, with the funeral and all of that because they have absolutely no money. They depended upon, uh, on contributions. That's the only way they were able to sustain it and keep the food. And so when they had a doctor, his name was Dr. Chaykin, and he never charged for any of the service that he offered. Just a beautiful man who never charged them anything. But we were always doing fundraising for them. At many of my speeches, I would tell her story and just leave a little box on the stage, and people would come and put money and we would always make sure that she got it. And anyway, so it was kind of an interesting morning to get that call, totally unexpected. And I was such a— it was such a— they were such a big part of my life. In fact, in my book that I'm writing now, I Can See Clearly Now, I tell the story of what, uh, just to be able to be around people who are so selfless and who give so much. I remember when Kay had her birthday and I gave her a set of a pearl necklace that cost a few thousand dollars, and she just couldn't bring herself to, uh, to keep them. I mean, she just was— she just kept insisting, no, I have to, uh, this is for Eduardo, I'm gonna, I'm gonna sell them, and, and all that. And I said, no, you're not selling these. Okay, whatever it was, just anyway, they were just a beautiful, beautiful family, the Olvera family.

Many prayers go out there for us about keeping your promises.

Yeah, it was one of my first books with Hay House. I'm feverishly searching the Hay House site right now to see if it's still there. Oh, there it definitely is. It's now out in paperback. It was out in hardcover. It was the first book. It was the first time for me that I had, you know, any writing that I'd ever done or any royalties that I'd ever received or any profits from my writing, I always just, I invested or I made a part of my, gave to my family and things like this. Is this was the first time that I took this God-given talent that I've been given, the ability to write, and devoted it to writing for somebody else and having all of the proceeds and everything go to them. And it really was one of those moments of shifting in my life where I wasn't doing something for me, for Wayne Dyer, and what come my way. I remember going away and renting a place to stay. I stayed for about a month. and I interviewed Kay and everybody associated with it and listened to all of the recordings. But it was one of the most pleasurable writing experiences, maybe the most pleasurable writing experience I've ever had, because it was all about giving. I knew that every single thing that I was doing here and devoting this amount of time and, and so on to was in the category of just offering and serving and doing something not because of what's in it for me, but how I might serve someone else. It's that I've spoken many times about the mantra of the ego is always more, more, more, and what's in it for me, what's in it for me. And the mantra of the higher self and the highest self is how may I serve, what may I do, and keep myself out of it. And that was one of the beginnings for me of putting much more of my emphasis in my life on serving rather than on thinking about what I might get for it.

Wow, that's a beautiful—

Eduardo was a great— she was a great teacher, and so was Kay. But you have to imagine, Diane, about having a daughter that's in a coma from the time that she's 17 years old and a senior in high school, and staying next to her and sitting up in a chair for 25 years and never getting a night's sleep in a bed because she had to be turned and she had to be fed every 3 hours and given her medicine and so on to keep her alive.

I can't even imagine that.

How many times that she'd want to just give up Yeah, there was no giving up in her. She was a— I had many, many wonderful evenings and many meals and so on, and many wonderful times over in that room with Eduarda lying there and talking to her and singing to her and bringing gifts and so on. So every year in March, on her birthday, she would have this party and people would come Because I put it on TV, and in fact I told Oprah about it. So Oprah came down and interviewed her quite a few years ago when she had her, you know, her own TV show, Daily Show, and she put her on there. And, and so the world was really knowing about her, and people would fly from all over the world to come and see her. And many people felt that they had spiritual experiences, and Kay was absolutely convinced that Eduardo would— when, when everyone else would go off to sleep sleep, that her spirit would leave and go out and do healing work and, and things like that. And I know for certain that my son saw her because he's not the kind of— he wasn't the kind of kid, and he still isn't. He's 25 years old now, but when he was a young boy, who believed in any of this stuff, you know? He— but boy, he came running out of there and, uh, and named her and said that she was there.

That's amazing.

Yeah.

Well, I did find the book on the Hay House website. It's available. You can add this one to the collection.

You can read the story. It's a wonderful story. And when you're buying it, know that the royalties and the proceeds and all of that all will go to helping get Colleen. She's lost her mother now. Her father passed away about 3 or 4 years into the coma. He just couldn't deal with it. It was such a struggle for him. But the mother stayed with it and stayed with it. She passed away in her sleep a few years ago. And beautiful Colleen, who when I talked to her the other morning, she was sobbing and she was saying, you don't understand, Wayne. She said, you just don't understand. She saved my life. She said, I was using drugs and I was stealing and I was in trouble and all of that. And she gave me a reason to live, to serve her and to take care of her. And then she was trying to, she was going through all of this inner pain about, I wonder if maybe I didn't do something right. Maybe I didn't put her medicine in right. I hope I didn't do anything to cause her to, you know, she's so beautiful.

That'll bring that story back to light and people can check it out and read it for themselves. It's amazing.

Yeah. Wow. So that's it.

I'm definitely thankful, you know, for what I have after hearing that.

Yeah, you might want to read that. It's a wonderful story. You can read it in just a few hours. My wife actually wrote a chapter in there as well. It's the first time she'd ever published anything. Wow.

Well, we'll have people check that out. A promise is a promise.

A promise is a promise, right?

Okay, and we still have some time for calls. You want to—

sure, let's do that. Yes, I'd like to.

Let's see, where should we go first? Let's go start at line number 1. Let's go to Jackie in Philadelphia. Hi, Jackie. Thanks for holding. You're on with Dr. Wayne Dyer.

Hi, can you hear me?

Sure.

Hello? Oh, hi, Jackie.

Can you hear me?

I can.

Oh my goodness, I'm shaking, Diana.

And we're off to Philadelphia in the morning. Do you know that song?

Oh my gosh, I'm not nervous, I'm just so excited. I said if I get through, then I have to tell, you know, tell you what I wanted to tell you. But I want to start out by saying I'm a big fan.

Oh, thank you.

For many years read your books, listen to Hay House every week to your program because it gets me through my week.

Oh, that's nice.

And Diane, thank you for being there to help us get through it.

Oh, my pleasure.

Oh my gosh. Wayne, I got through to this call, and it's so ironic that you were telling this wonderful story as you started today, that I'm going to tell you this only because this is hurting my heart so much, and because of the love and the wisdom that you, you know, impart to us about relationships. But I just want to tell you this really quick and ask for your loving wisdom about it. Over the Thanksgiving holiday at my daughter-in-law's house, my daughter and daughter-in-law had a dispute and they had a shouting fight, and it was very upsetting. My teenage granddaughters were there and felt very sad. And of course, you know, I'm praying for peace, you know, to happen. And in the meantime, my daughter, after everything, you know, we left, she was angry with me because she said that I didn't stick up for her. I wasn't in her corner, and I should have said, how dare she say those things to you? And I just kind of don't react that way. I'm more of like a peacemaker, right? I just want to see everyone be at peace. But if my daughter's telling me that this is hurting her so much because I'm not responding that way. I'm wondering what would be the more loving thing to do. And because I'm emotionally a little upset right now, I can't seem to pull on that.

Well, the loving thing to do is exactly what you did do, which is to not take sides and to just be an instrument of peace and to try to have your daughter understand that, you know, that she doesn't need to have your approval or your support in order for her to feel good because, uh, or to feel better because— but basically what she's saying to you behind all of it is, Mom, if only you were different, uh, in that moment, then I wouldn't have to be so unhappy. And she needs to understand that her unhappiness didn't come from the fact that you didn't support her. Her unhappiness comes comes from, uh, from the fact that she allowed herself to get into a shouting match with her, uh, what, what is she, her sister-in-law? Um, yeah. So, um, you know, when you— if you start going in there and apologizing, all the— but basically what you're doing is teaching her that her emotional upsettedness is the result of what you did or didn't do. And she needs to really know and understand that that's just That's just not the way it is. I always think that, you know, like you take a situation like that and she's in the midst of a shouting match and then she gets all upset and there's a, you know, that you really are in the role that you're in there with her. You're really nothing more than just a reflection of what it is that she is, what she is sending out there. In other words, I always tell people, look, go stand in front of a mirror. And look in front of the mirror and frown, and then ask yourself, in order to make that frown go away on the person that I'm looking at in the mirror, do I go up to the reflection and try to make the mouth go up in order to make me feel better? Well, the fact is that, you know, you don't go to the mirror and look at the frown in the mirror because there's nothing there. It's just a reflection of who you are. Her anger towards you is just a reflection of something that she is doing to herself. And she really needs to know that, you know, that your love for her has nothing to do with whether you agree or don't agree with the people in a shouting match, and that you had just as much love and care and concern for your son's wife as you do for your own daughter, and that it's not about choosing sides. I mean, that's the way I would look at it from a logical point of view. Now, there's a lot of emotion that gets involved in family, and it's like, you're not supporting me, and you didn't do this, and that's the reason that I'm unhappy. But that's no different than saying the reason that I see a frown in the mirror is because I can't get the reflection to be what I want it to be. When she starts realizing that you don't have— she shouldn't be giving you that kind of power, and you certainly don't want to have that kind of power. Now you've got to always watch out every time that she might be getting upset because of the way that you're reacting. And we need to always be responsible for how we're feeling ourselves and not putting it on anybody else. Even if it's your own mother or your own child and so on. That's the way I see it.

Well, Wayne, I have to say thank you so much for this because I'm so emotionally upset because she felt as if she wanted to cut me off in a way, like she was saying, you know, I won't talk to you unless you do this. But I just kept praying and I said, wow, I can't believe that I got through to Wayne today because at least I can feel, you know, that when you give your advice like this, it's done through peace and love. And in a godly way so I can feel trusting of it.

And yeah, and she wants to make it even— and now she wants— this is, this is really a reflection of what your daughter needs to really look at. And she might want to— you might want to tell her to listen to this show because it'll air several times today and all week. And now what she wants to do is exacerbate it and make it even worse by then cutting off her, her communication with her own mother. Because you're not living up to what she thinks that you should be. It's that old thing that I've been saying for as long as I can remember being out in public eye. When people say, if only you were more like me, then I wouldn't have to be unhappy with right now. If only you were seeing the world the way I see it, then I could be, you know, I wouldn't have to be so depressed or so upset. So people go around putting their upsetness on the reactions, the reflections that other people have in their lives. And once you explained to her that I am just about, you know, I'm just about love, I'm just about peace, and it's not about choosing sides. This isn't a war that we're involved here. This is just an opportunity for all of us to live together in harmony and peace and kindness and joy rather than in these other ways.

Thank you so much for that wink. But yeah, see how I feel about how wars are started. They start little ways in the name of peace.

Absolutely, absolutely. As a matter of fact, I think that your daughter needs leads to whatever unhappy words were spoken between the two of them, the best thing that your daughter could do would be to send some flowers or something to her sister-in-law and tell her that, you know, that I have a loving heart and I slipped back and, you know, I apologize for it. That's the best way to— yeah, she could end all of that very, very quickly.

Very quickly, that's right.

Yeah, she could end it all very quickly. Quickly by just sending love to everyone, because whatever the problem is, you know, the solution is always in having a loving heart. And a loving heart is—

Absolutely, Wayne. Thank you. That's why I've resonated with all of your stuff all, you know, over these years. Thank you so much for being there for me.

Have you seen my film on My Greatest Teacher, the story of finding my father?

I haven't, no.

Have you watched The Shift? Have you seen The Shift?

I haven't seen The Shift either. I have your books, but I haven't seen the movies. You gotta send—

we're gonna send you both of those movies for Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving. Send them in. Give one of them to your daughter and tell her to lighten up.

Thank you so much, Wayne. God bless you both.

God bless you too. Namaste.

Boy, the holidays are just so emotionally charged, aren't they? I mean, I can imagine how many confrontations like that must have happened all over the country.

Well, and it's family. It's, you know, it's like, you know, it's that whole thing. I often said that I'm going to write a book, you know, about family relationships, you know, and calling it you know, your, uh, your friends are God's way of, uh, apologizing for your relatives.

Because that can be so true.

You know, when we get into— we get into situations with our relatives, whether they're sisters or siblings or parents or whatever, and we have all of these expectations that, um, you know, you're, you're supposed to support me and you're supposed to do this, and if I say that, you're supposed to be there. And so and the fact is that, you know, all we just have to accept each other for. Just because we happen to share the same genetics doesn't mean that we share all of the same views, right?

Or also, what do you think about this? If you have a difficult family member who's treating you horribly, and I've had people say, well, that's your blood, you just have to deal with it. I don't think that's true, do you?

No, not at all. In fact, the holidays are a great time for that. It's like I always say there's— every family has an Aunt Bertha or something. That's just the name that I picked. And when she comes over for Halloween— I was going to say, but for Thanksgiving or whatever— that what you want to do, and when she starts in on the kinds of things that, you know, are just upsetting to you, is just see how much love that you can send to this person. Just make up your mind in advance you're not going to allow this person to get to you. I've been practicing that. I practice it when my kids come all the time. They say things sometimes that I don't like, and they make noises that I don't want, or they put on TV shows that I don't want. And I just say to myself, don't say anything, don't say anything, just love them, just love them. That's all, that's all we got to do. Just let it go.

That's great advice. So let's go to Ray in Cheyenne, Wyoming. He's on line 5. And see what's up with Ray. Ray, thanks for holding. You're on with Dr. Dyer.

Actually, it's Roy, aka Roy Rogers, your buddy.

Oh, hey Roy, how's it going?

Sorry about that, it's been a while.

The summertime since I last talked to you and everything.

And yeah, nice to hear from you.

I always do because I wanted to talk to you a little bit about all these I Am discourses you've been pounding us with for over the summer and springtime. And I just wanted to tell you how I think they've been kind of working for me too. And that, you know, at first I kind of thought, yeah, I don't want to do it and everything, but You know, I started doing it and it's just like today, for instance, we had a dramatic temperature change in Wyoming today where it's barely over 30 degrees and yesterday it was almost 60. And when I woke up, I was just, I was just, I didn't feel like getting out of bed. I'm really tired and I just keep telling myself, I am energy, strength. And when I'm in my, doing my workouts now, I start doing my workouts even if I'm in pain or if I don't feel like finishing them. I just keep saying that I'm endurance, I am endurance. And I somehow manage to get through them. But I think the most incredible thing that's happened to me is when I was reading that and some of your other books over the summer about the I Am Discourses is about prosperity. And what I often do when I run— I don't always work out at the gym, I often run to the gym and finish it up there and then run home, especially when it's warmer. And I tell myself I'm prosperity and I am all of that. Well, what I've noticed is, is that every now and then in the past, I've always found, you know, maybe a dollar bill here every now and then, or a $5 somewhere on the street and all that. But there was a period of time in the late summer and early fall where it just seemed like every time I was— I turned around, I was finding $10 bills and $20 bills in the vacant lots that I was running through or off the sidewalk. I mean, I found $30, just 3 $10 bills within a minute. Run of each other over this summer, over the one day during the summertime. Just $10 bills just sticking right out, right off the field from the sidewalk.

Really? Those were mine. Those were, those were mine, Roy. I dropped those. I was, I was out there running. Is in Wyoming, was it?

Yeah.

Did they have Hamilton on the picture of Hamilton on the, on the front? Alexander?

Yeah, I think they had your picture on it. They might have.

Oh, okay.

Then they weren't the ones.

But no, no, but what I wanted to say more, and it leads a little bit even more, so you got that out of the way. Well, just really quick, I just want to tell you that ever since I've been doing that, what I've been noticing is, is I've been, ever since I've been doing the I AMs, for some reason I even feel a little bit more sensitive to trying to reach out a little bit more to other people too. And I was watching this TV show, I think it was on MSNBC, Lockup. I watch shows about, right, and all that. You've heard of of it. And then normally I don't think much of it, I just watch the show just in it. But there was this one guy that was on there a few weeks ago that— and for some reason, you know, just from what he was talking about his life, and, and he's serving a life sentence, and he keeps— and when he's been given chances, he struck out, and he keeps going back. And he kind of reminded me a little bit of my father. And then he said some stuff about one of my favorite things, which is coffee. And I thought to just the way he worded it. And I said, I'm gonna send something to him. I just, for whatever reason, I just thought, I'm gonna reach out to this guy. I've never done that before. Well, I did, and I, and I even put a little bit of money into his fund to help him maybe buy a little more coffee and all that. And you want to know what he did? He sent me a letter back, and he told me that really quick, that he said that, you know what, this is a very cold and lonely place, that just just you reaching out to me, it was like a ray of sunshine.

Wow.

And so I started to try to write to him just because I— like I said, and just to show that somebody cares. Because I— that's another thing you've told us to do, isn't there? A lot of people out there are way more forgotten than we think we are. We think we may have it bad, and yet there are people who are just totally forgotten and nobody cares. And even if they've made mistakes more serious than ours and all that, or if they're on the streets for whatever reason because of drugs or whatever, you know, it's like we often just forget about them. And so I—

This is what's happened with you, Roy. What's happened is that you're using the term "I am" a lot. This is how it started. It's very fascinating what you're saying to me. That's why I'm just listening and letting you talk. So you've been using the words "I am." You know, "I am content." "I am energized." you know, I am prosperous. And every time you use the term I am, you're really saying the name of God. I mean, this is like, this is right out of the Torah, right out of the book of Exodus. You can look up in the book of Exodus 3, I think it's 18, where Jesus, or God, speaks to Moses and says, my name is I am that I am, and that shall be my name for all future generations. I mean, that's, that, that means that's this generation as well. So the name of God is the name of I Am. And when he said, I am that I am, he's really saying the word that means everything. It's that everything that you look at— you look at a surfboard, I am that. You look at a tree, I am that. You look at each other, you look at the people who are supposed to be your enemy, you look at the ones that you're speaking about who are more forgotten, and you remind yourself of what all of the saints say. It's what Mother Teresa said, you know. Every day, she said, I see Jesus Christ in all of his distressing disguises. I see God in everything and everyone. And when you start practicing and then just simply saying those words, I am content, I am peaceful, I am happy, I am God, I am love, and you continuously say that, you begin to act like God because you take on the name of God. And how does God act? The way that you just described, Roy, is the way God acts. He offers— God just offers us, you know, whatever it is, asks nothing in return, doesn't demand anything, doesn't want us to necessarily love him or celebrate him or anything like that. Just this is, and I even use him, I mean, it's like him, her, it, whatever it is. It's a divine intelligence from which all things are intended, to which all things return. And when you start saying that name and recognizing that every time you say the name I Am, you're using the name of God. You don't want to use it in vain. I mean, that's one of the things in the book of Joel. It says, let the weak man say, I am strong. And as you begin to say these things, not that I will be and I hope to be, but that I am these things, you begin to take on what's called God realization, a higher level of consciousness. And then you are— that, that motivation that you had when you watched the lockup show on MSNBC to go to that guy, that really was a reflection of the fact that you have been bringing yourself more in alignment with divine intelligence, with God, with divine love. And that's how it gets manifest. And when more of us do this collectively, when enough of us begin to do this and behave in these ways on a regular basis without asking anything back in return— I mean, you didn't send that money to the guy hoping that he would pay you back. You sent it because it was just— it was something in your heart that's— and it's in alignment with what I was just talking to with the lady in Philadelphia. You as well, that you just align yourself with love, you know, and love everything and everyone. Because I am that. I am that. And the I Am discourses were very instrumental in teaching me to be in a state of gratitude for that I Am presence. That is who you are, you know, to give thanks for it, that there is something internal to you independent of this body that you're in, this invisibleness within which is God, and to give thanks for that, and to be in a state of constantly giving. And I'll bet you, you're going to also find something, Roy, that the more of this that you do, uh, the more that you'll see showing up in your life. That's what these $10 bills that you're finding and, and things like that, that the more of that that begins to show up as well.

I do what you do too. Even be— when you talked about on your PBS show, even if I— when I used to find pennies on the street, I say, thank you, universe. Even if it's just a penny. That's what you do too, right?

I do. I've always done that. Every time I find a coin or a— uh, I say, thank you, God, for the symbol of abundance that continues to show up in my life. That's the statement that I make. And by the way, I was swimming not too long ago. I mean, I swim every single day in the ocean, and I put the goggles on, and, you know, I'm looking down at the fish and all of that. And, uh, when— as I was swimming, uh, a $10 bill was down about, oh, maybe 20 feet down. That had just was on the bottom of the ocean. And I had— I dove down and I couldn't quite get down that far without my ears starting to back up. And I went back all the way up to the top and I said to myself, I know that I can go down 20 feet and get that $10 bill. And sure enough, I took a big, you know, lungful and went straight down and just kept pushing, pushing, got myself the $10 bill. Almost passed out doing it. But I said there was a $10 bill just at the bottom of the ocean saying, here, this is for you. And that kind of thing happens all the time. Time on a regular basis. And it's not always about money. It's about friendship. It's about, uh, the right thing showing up. It's about synchronicity. It's about whatever you place your attention on, whatever your mind is thinking about, that you align with that, and then it hardens into an object. That's what— that's what wishes fulfilled is really all about. It's like hardening thoughts into physical objects that we're all capable of doing, because everything that is physical originates in the world of spirit. Everything. So why keep your mind on that?

I was— I told the inmate, wrote, um, that in my second letter to him that I sent out last week, that I was inspired by many of your teachings. And that— and that I said to him that, you know, if your library in your prison has— has any books by Wayne Dyer, and I'm sure that you do, dude, you probably are— probably books, yeah, yours in prisons, that, you know, get some of those and everything like that.

Plus, I think he can My PBS show airs in prisons as well. Roy, before you leave, leave your address and I'll have Diane give it to me. And I'm going to send this guy, uh, something as well. I'm going to send him a check, whatever his name is. And what prison is he in?

Well, he's in Florida. He's in a— should I tell you the specific name? But he's, he's incarcerated in the state of Florida.

And in the state of Florida— no, don't say it over the air because who knows. But, uh, just put your name and address and I'll send it through you, okay?

Yeah, and then I, I promise you I'll send it to him.

And oh, I know that he will. Yeah.

And because you are a good man, and it— like I said, it's incredible how you're— it's like what you say, sometimes it's hard to believe because it's like when I feel tired, I don't feel like saying I am energy. Or when I'm feeling kind of low with the low pressures, beating the weather in Wyoming, it's like I don't feel like saying I am. And it sometimes it seems dumb, but I guess it's better than being defeated. And you never know, it— you'd be surprised, it does help me.

It has helped me get through Well, I do, you know, I do yoga class like 3 or 4 times a week, intensive yoga, Bikram yoga in a hot studio. And there are times when I just don't know whether my body can do that for 90 solid minutes at the age of 72. And I just always say, I am energized, I am well, I am good. And I'm basically, I'm very often the oldest person in the room, but I never ever ever have to sit down or give up on a, on a posture. I do both sets of every single asana through all, by simply just saying, I am well, I am content, I am strong. Let the weak man say, I am strong. And I just say that to myself. And I say it also to, I have my children always say it. And when they wake up and say, I'm tired, I say, you'll never hear those words come out of me. I don't say, I am tired. I say, I am energy. And I don't ever say, you know, I am unhappy. I just say, you know, I am content.

I am peaceful.

It's like that little book you wrote, those little books that had one-page sayings on them, like for 200 pages. Yeah, there was one that stood out this summer before I let you talk to the other callers and everything, but it was something to the effect, the way you feel prosperous is think of all the things you are thankful for, and you can never feel unprosperous. Something to that effect. Do you remember that?

Absolutely, absolutely.

Think of everything you've got, you'll never feel a lack of prosperity, right?

Well, don't think about what you don't have unless you want more of what you don't have to keep showing up, you know. And don't think about what's missing and talk about what's missing, because when you do, you align with the consciousness of missing. And so the universe will send you more evidence that stuff is missing from your life. When you say, I am prosperous, you align with the universe, the universal divine mind which controls everything that says, so prosperity is how you feel inside. Here's another example of it, and you'll start seeing it showing up. $10 bills all over the place.

Well, I'll get back with you early next year sometime, and I'll let you know how he's doing.

Okay, leave your, leave your address, leave his name. I'm going to send him a check.

Check.

Okay. Yeah.

Okay.

For Christmas.

Thank you.

Okay. Say hello to Trigger. Okay. For me.

Yeah. Hi. Yeah. He loves you. He loves to love you.

Do you know that Roy Rogers, Roy Rogers used to sing a song that I think is the theme song of The Spirit Inside of Us. And the song goes like this. Oh, give me land, lots of land and the starry skies above.

What is it?

I don't know. I've heard it.

Don't fence me in.

There you go, Diane. Don't fence Fence me in, don't fence me in, let me ride through the wide open spaces that I love. Diane.

Don't fence me in.

There you go. We are terrible.

I know.

Awful singers.

But that's the theme. That's the theme. Don't fence me in, let me expand, let me grow, let me be love. Love is always expanding. Okay, let's take another call. Thanks, Roy. Leave your address.

That's great. What a great story.

Let's go to Monica in Wyoming.

She's on line 6 in Pennsylvania, Wimber, Pennsylvania. And Monica, thanks for holding. You're on with Dr. Dyer.

Hello.

Hi Monica, how are you dear?

I'm fine, thank you. How are you?

I'm great. Is this Monica Lewinsky? Is this the—

No, I've gotten that for years.

I'm sure you have.

She disgraced my name.

Not really, not really. She just was doing what she knew how to do. She was just, you know, misled.

Oh, you are something, Wayne.

Oh, thank you. So are you. So are you, Monica.

Thank you. Okay, I have a— I just have a question. I've heard you talk that you have, or you did have, a child that suffered with, um, addictions.

Yes, still struggling.

Okay, see, I have one too. I have my 30-year-old son Michael, and he's addicted to the painkillers and the alcohol, and it just kills me. It kills me. I, you know, I— and I'm so sensitive whenever he gets to being negative that I just, I can't even be around him, and I just don't know what to do. I pray all the time. I ask Archangel Michael to— I've heard Doreen Virtue talk about asking Michael to vacuum out, you know, anything negative out of him. And I just wondered if there's any advice you could give me on how to deal with this. I feel if you have— you who are like, like, you're like the father of self-improvement, you're just like so amazing that if you, as good as you are, you have one that struggles and you can't—

like, Monica, not only do I have one that struggles, I have struggled with this in my life as well. Yeah, I've— I haven't had a drink in, uh, in 25 years of alcohol, but I drank plenty of it before that.

But you want to see— my son will say, well, you've never been addicted. It's like— and I— my thing is I would never allow myself to get addicted because I love you know, it's that self-respect.

Yeah, but there's a chemical component to this whole thing as well, especially if you take enough of this stuff, especially with the prescription things. And there's so much of it out there. I mean, it's really an outrage. I mean, how many young people are really addicted to things that they can just get, they can just get a prescription for, or get it without a prescription? They know how to do it. Esther Hicks speaks brilliantly about addiction and said, you know, that you You know, love is the only answer. It's always the only answer. It doesn't mean that you have to be victimized. It doesn't mean— but you just have to fill your heart with love for this young man, as I do for my daughter who's 29 years old. But I also have let her know that, um, it's like, I'm not going to be your victim. I'm not. These are choices that you are making, and if you're going to make this choice, you know, I'm still going to love you. I'm going to love you through, but I'm not going to be around to be the recipient of the abuse that comes with benefit. And that's where you have to really draw the line there and let them know. I think that the most significant thing I ever heard about addiction, and it helped me in overcoming— and my— I have positive and I have negative addictions that I've dealt with in my life through, you know, the alcohol and drugs and eating and things like that and sugar. And also I've had positive addictions, you know, I mean, where I ran every day for almost 30 years without missing a day, 29 years. 8 miles. I mean, and I still, even today, I mean, I swim. My daughter said to me last night, my oldest daughter is here with me for, you know, for us here for Thanksgiving. And it was cold and it was about 6 o'clock and it was getting dark and I hadn't swam yet. Something had happened and I went out. She said, well, you just, you don't have to swim today. She said, it's cold and it's windy out there. I said, no, I swim every day. You know, that's just so, that's a sort of like a positive addiction, like brushing your teeth and so on. The most important thing I ever heard about addictions that helped me the most and helped my daughter a lot along the way for her was from Patti Davis, who is President Reagan's daughter, President and Nancy Reagan's daughter. And she was a cocaine addict and was very heavily into it and loved it and wrote an essay about it in Newsweek magazine called My Turn. You might— you can look it up, you can Google that and find that. It's a brilliant piece. And she said that she She tried to— she was just— here she was, the daughter of the President of the United States, and she said, I just knew that I was causing him such headaches, and I didn't want to disappoint him. And I didn't want to disappoint my mother, who was always just— Nancy Reagan, who was always just so upset with the fact that I would actually do these drugs. She just said, you know, just say no. That was Nancy Reagan's famous line. And she said, and I didn't want to disappoint my boyfriend, and I found that I was disappointing him. and I didn't want to disappoint myself. And she said, and on all of these times, I just kept always ending up still disappointing everybody. She said, then it finally hit me that I decided that I no longer wanted to disappoint God. And she said, when I made that connection and realized that who I am at the highest place within myself is God, you know, that the name I Am, I Am God, and that's what looks out from behind my eyeballs, and and I came from that and I returned to that and all the rest of this is physical, is just, is really nothing. It's all illusion because it's constantly changing, but there is a component of me that is eternal and that is invisible. And I decided I no longer wanted to disappoint God. I came from perfection. I came from well-being. When you come from well-being, you don't come with addiction and I will return to well-being. and I decided I just wanted to no longer disappoint that highest aspect of myself. And she said, it didn't change my desire to do the cocaine. She said, I still loved doing it. It still made me feel great. It was a wonderful feeling to do it. She said, but there was this part of me that just said, I'm disappointing my well-beingness, which is my godliness. And that, that's what ended it. And that's what you need to help your son to find, to find the, the God within himself. You know, whatever he wants to call it. It doesn't have to be— it's not a religious thing at all. That highest place within himself and just say, that's the part of me that really wants to be sober and wants to serve and wants to help the world and wants to help other people. And you can't do that because addiction is really— the bottom line behind addiction is the word that's constantly saying, you know, I really can't get enough of what I don't want. You know, I can't get enough of what I don't want. I don't want to be addicted. I don't want to be out of control. I don't want to be all of those things, and yet I can't get enough of it. It's chasing after what you don't want. And then when you start really just chasing after what you are, which is well-being, it becomes something you can just walk away from. And he'll be able to walk away from that in a meditative state. Let's send him a copy of Wishes Fulfilled. Leave your address and get his name and we'll send it off to him as a gift, as a Christmas gift.

Okay, thank you so much.

Thank you, thank you, my dear. God bless you. Yeah, namaste. Thanks for your call. I know we just have a few seconds left, but the addiction issue is a huge one in our culture. It's huge. Obesity is huge in our culture, you know. Addiction to prescription drugs, bigger and bigger and bigger all the time. And finding God within yourself and not wanting to disappoint that, that's the way to Some great callers today, Dr.

Dyer. Some great advice you're giving today. And everyone, thanks for joining us.

Dr. Dyer, how are you today?

I'm great, thanks.

How are you?

Doing wonderfully over here in California. And of course, for those listeners who are new, you're coming to us from Hawaii right now.

I am. I just got back from California, went out last week and did the Ellen DeGeneres Show. It was there, it aired on Friday.

Mm-hmm.

With Janet Jackson, who I could hardly hear with that tiny little voice of hers.

Oh, you're kidding.

But it was great. We had a wonderful time and we did a whole thing on ego, and I'll be coming back again next month, it looks like.

Great. So you're starting to appear pretty regularly.

Yeah, well, she's just a wonderful soul, and apparently some of—

she said on there that she's been listening to my CDs and so on in the car, and And she went through a rough patch there a while back, and they really got her through it. So, uh, it's really nice. It's, it's nice to know that you're reaching everybody out there.

It is. It must be a great feeling to think, hmm, you know, Ellen DeGeneres is listening to my CDs in her car as she's zipping around LA.

Well, that's great.

Anyway, so it was great. We had a really, really, really nice time.

And, uh, let's see what kind of calls we have out. Okay, rolling out in the world today. It's interesting how every hour we spend always seems to come up with its own theme. So who knows where we'll go today? I think we should start with Peter though. He's calling from Saskatchewan. Peter, welcome to the program. You're talking with Dr. Wayne Dyer.

Hello, Wayne.

Hi, Peter, how are you?

Real good, real good. I've just been working on your book. I, I, I believe—

you believe it when you see You'll see it when you believe it.

Yes, I was just reading that, then I decided to call you and I got through.

Boy.

Oh, good, good for you. Well, you got in early. That's the way to do it.

Yeah, yeah.

What's on your mind, my friend?

Well, I've been, uh, I've been reading your books and I've been listening to your podcast. Like, I just finished your entire library about 2 hours ago.

Boy, you've been, you've been doing a lot of listening then.

Yeah, it's about 2 weeks I've Uh-huh. And it's been real good. I've been living what you, uh, suggest, and things have been working for me really positively, really, really positively. The surprising thing is, uh, like, uh, I thought of a vehicle changing, changing vehicles, get a new vehicle. I had a vehicle given to me free of charge. Also given a substantial amount of money to which I have in my, my possession. Boy, that's— I also found a funny thing. I was listening to a program of yours, and then I kept thinking, thank you for the checks, thank you for the checks.

Oh good. Well, you know, when you get those, when you get those checks, you're supposed to spend— send half of them this way. That's part of the way the whole process works.

But there was a catch to it. It was checks from my credit card company.

Oh, it's probably in Canadian money anyway, so I can't spend it.

It wasn't worth anything. They were just for me to make out if I needed money.

Peter, this is Summer. I don't mean to break in, but you might want to get to your question because we're getting some interference on your phone line. I don't know that we're going to be able to keep you too long.

Okay.

The question is, I was, uh, how do I change my frame of thinking to, uh, be a little more less in, uh, in debt? I don't want to focus on that.

Okay, let me do that. Why don't you hang up and I'll, and I'll, uh, I'll answer it. I'll take that off the air because your phone does— we are getting interference.

Yeah, okay, thank you very much.

Thanks, Peter. God bless you, my friend. Debt is a very interesting concept, and it's one we could do an entire show on for sure. And I've always said this, I've said this to my children particularly, that, uh, that debt is a really— is a way of turning the controls of your life over to something or someone outside of yourself, which is something you want to really, uh, eschew or avoid if you possibly can in your life. I know a lot of people think that they don't know how to do it any other way From my own personal perspective, debt is something that I grew up, I guess, believing or getting imprinted in such a way that it was something I didn't want to do. I've never made a car payment, for example, in my life. I grew up with a belief system somehow that I inculcated into, into my whole lifestyle, which was if you can't afford it, don't buy it, and don't look at what other people have and and determine your level of happiness on the basis of whether somebody's driving a nicer car or has a nicer piece of jewelry or has a nicer home or whatever it was. I learned, and I wrote a lot about this in Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life, that contentment is one of the most important processes that we can, that we can learn. To be content means to be satisfied. To be content means to be in a state of gratitude, in a state of awe, in a state of bewilderment and acceptance and allowing and love about everything that comes your way, whatever it might be, from the tiniest little thing of being able to just observe a spider web or a beetle walking across the floor or a butterfly flitting about in the air and being in that moment and finding the joy in it. The minute that you put debt into that or put an absence of gratitude into it, you begin to take the energy of contentment on it and put it into something called fear or worry or anxiety or depression or any of those kinds of reactions, which is what happens when we turn the controls of our life over to someone else. So while that seems to become— I just heard an amazing figure in the New York Times the other day that we now have $1 trillion in credit card debt, which means that people have bought things to the tune of $1 trillion, which is the gross national product of the entire country. To buy things that they can't afford, that they don't have the money for. I use a credit card for one thing and one thing only, and that is just as a convenience. And they send me a summary at the end of the year, and it helps me with my taxes, and I give it to my accountant, and that's the end of it. But I have an absolute rule that I would never ever send money to a credit card company for letting me use their money to buy something that I don't have. It's just not something that I do. I don't even have house payments and things like that, but I I, I live always within my means, and I think the best advice that I can give you is to take a look at all of the things that you think you absolutely have and to remember that to believe that you need what you don't have is the ultimate definition of insanity. You do not need what you don't have, and you need to learn to be able to be content by giving away a whole lot more and no longer telling yourself that If I don't have these things, my life is incomplete. Go through the things that you, uh, that you tell yourself you absolutely must have and put on credit, and begin to, as much as you can, file that down into such a way that not just so much that it gives you financial freedom, but because it gives you a sense of personal spiritual freedom as well, of not living beyond what it is that, uh, you know, that you, you are capable of living in within yourself. And to know that you do not need one more thing in order for you to be happy. You do not need to take on one more obligation, financial obligation, in order for you to be living a life of contentment. And I'd recommend you read very slowly and very carefully the chapters in the, in the Tao Te Ching that I wrote about in Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life.

Okay, that's interesting because, you know, you think about our culture, which is extremely consumer-driven. I mean, we are told we need to spend, we must spend, spending is good for us. We hear that day in and day out. It's, um, you've got to really, you know, but try to imagine.

I mean, you know, and it's our governments that are telling that. Our governments, for example, who, who are so far in debt. I mean, our, especially our federal government, has so much debt attached to it that what we have done is this: we've left, we have this sort of immoral set setup that we have done for the next generation and the generation after that of children. As we're saying, we are going to spend and get all of these things that we want, and while we can't pay for it, we'll just figure out that the children who are not yet born are going to do that. And I think that's an immoral crisis, that's a spiritual crisis that we lay on our, on our young people. The Native Americans used to say, when we walk across the ground, when we place our feet on the ground, we place our feet to treat very carefully because we know the faces of our future generations are looking up at us from beneath the ground, and we never forget them. But we do forget them, or we ignore them, or we put an awful lot of misery index on these young people that don't deserve, you know, such a fate. And I think that if my household was run on the same principles that the federal government was running their principle, their then I would be broke and, and probably be in prison as well for spending money that I don't have. I think it's something we have to look at individually in our own lives. To me, it's a question of being in charge of your life. And if you're not in charge of your own life, whatever it is that is in charge is the thing that is going to be your, you know, drive up your misery index instead of your happiness index.

All right.

Okay.

Yeah, we have, um, Time for one more caller before we go to our break, so let's bring on Ellie. She's calling from Toronto, Ontario. Ellie, welcome to our program today.

Hi, how are you? Great.

Hi, Ellie.

Hi, how are you doing?

I'm doing great.

I'm coming, I'm coming to your city. We should give it a plug right now. We'll be— there's an I Can Do It coming up in—

I know, I'm coming, I'm coming to see you.

Oh good, that's right, at the end of March, the end of this month. I'm speaking on the 28th, I know that, and it's going to be be a lot of people there, so I look forward to seeing you.

Yeah, I can't wait.

Me too. Okay, now that your Canadian dollar is worth more than the American dollar, I used to have so many jokes about that. Now I'm not allowed to use any of them.

It's not funny. I think, I think you're amazing. I discovered you by accident, and I just think your works are just amazing. I just have a couple.

Oh, thank you.

Number one, you say that we're all born, we're predestined, like we're born our death is in there, our color of our eyes, and so on. So given that, if everything is in there, then is there any point in trying to manifest anything if everything is going to happen anyways?

Well, that is such a good question. It's, um, it's the kind of question that I think about all the time, and the answer to that is yes and no. So it's, uh, you know, Carl Jung had that same observation when they asked him about Do we really have a choice? You know, are we really making any choices in our life if there's a destiny that's preordained in our world? And the answer to that, he said, was that at the same moment that you are the protagonist in your own life making choices, at that very same moment, he said, you are also the spear carrier or the extra in a much larger drama. And then he concluded it with this line. He said, you are all doomed to make choices. So in this— okay, so it's— and it's really— I'm just— when you really begin to read and understand enlightenment and the highest spiritual principles that are out there, you can walk through your days and know that everything out there is already taking place, and that within that larger context of all things taking place, you also have within you the free will to be able to allow it to come and go into your life as you choose. So yes, you are a part. I mean, everything that you need for this physical journey is obviously already handled for you. You don't get to sit there and decide whether you're going to be 6'1" or 5'3" or whether your hair is going to be blue or green and so on. I mean, your eyes, blue or green. But also within that larger, within that larger context, there is a part of us that is, is everything is already happening. And there's also a part of us that is making choices. And be at peace with equally— with either one of those opposite points of view. And ultimately, you'll come to a place of oneness, but it's not going to happen while you're in your body. It's going to happen when you leave it.

Dr. Dyer, so sorry, we're going to be coming right back after this. Well, Dr. Dyer, we have Melaina on waiting to speak with us, and of course you remember we spoke with her last.

Melaina, oh yes, oh, that's great, from Sherman Oaks.

I think she just wants to give us a very brief update on what happened.

Update on last week's show, yeah.

Sandeep, who, as our listeners recall, she was in the abusive— the relationship with her husband who was abusing her, physically hurting her. And I must say, we had a lot of people email us offering to, you know, send her to resources, to talk with her, wanting to say they had been in, in very similar situations. So it was—

that's so wonderful. I love the idea that the radio— that this radio show is becoming a place where people can work together and help each other out all over the world because there That's after all who Louise Hay is and what she founded this company on. And, uh, it's something that I— it's the only reason I do this radio show. I don't get paid anything for doing this radio show. It is just something that I do to get out there and really make a difference in the lives of people. And, and as I often tell my audiences, if any one of you, any one of you out there listening were to take the microphone and talk for an hour and I were to sit down, I would have just as much to learn from you as you would have to learn from me. It just happens that I've got the mic for a while.

Yeah.

Okay, Malina, how are you, dear?

Good, how are you doing?

I'm doing great.

Good. I just wanted to share that I have been in contact with Sandeep, and we had a very long, good conversation. And basically, you know, we shared what was going on in our lives, and I basically just let her know what had worked for me. And, you know, she asked for suggestions. She asked me, do you think I could possibly get a job, you know? And So we just talked about starting from step 1, which is before you do anything, you have to change the way you're thinking. You have to change from, "I'm stuck, I can't do it, how could I get a job?" to, "I know there's a perfect job out there for me. I know there's a way I can make this work on my own." So—

and not only that, Malia, but that not only is there a perfect job out there, but then you have to put the— you have to make it a verb instead of just a noun, which is an action word, which is And that job is on its way. That job is going to be delivered to me, or I am going to run into it, or the right person is out there who is going to, you know, align with me and so on. So that you begin to see action. Because I think one of the big mistakes that people make is they think that they're disconnected from everything in the world because they're so ego-driven. They're so believed that where I am and what my pain is and what my particular circumstances are is all that there is in life. And they don't stop to realize that we are connected to every other single being who's on this planet, whoever was on this planet, whoever will be on this planet. We are connected by an invisible energy source. If there's no place that God is not, that means that God is everywhere. And if God is everywhere, that means God is in the place and the very thing that I need to have attracted to my life, so that it's a real realignment in our consciousness that people need to have. And that's a really, really big shift for people.

Yeah, it is. One thing real quick, Summer, I was listening to your show the day after this all happened, and I just started wondering— I mean, I feel that what you do with flow dreaming is so powerful and amazing, and I started thinking about, you know, the possibility— I just thought I'd throw this out there— of you maybe doing a flow dream show on helping people who are in that situation of, you know, being in an abusive relationship possibly find the strength to, to move through that. Or, I mean, you would know the best way to do that, but I just wanted to put that out there because I believe you could probably help a lot of people get the push, you know, to really make a change in their life in that way. So, and thank you both. You're welcome. Thank you both for your wonderful shows.

Thank you, Melaina. God bless you, beautiful. I hope to see you soon.

Yeah. —Okay, bye. Thank you.

That's a good idea. All right, when we have— and abusive can go—

abusive doesn't necessarily mean that somebody is hitting you all the time. No, I mean, very often that is, you know, that's one of the more serious kinds of abusive relationships. But abuse can take many, many, many, many forms. It can take the form of someone refusing to talk to you, or it can take the form of someone talking to you all the time in disrespectful disrespectful ways. It can, you know, it can take many, many forms other than just the physical.

Yeah, I mean, it's— I hate to say it, but the physical, you know, um, abuse can fade in a week or 2 weeks, but the abuse that comes psychologically is what often stays with people their whole lives. It changes their behaviors, it changes their level of fear, and people tend to discount that kind of abuse more because there's no physical evidence of it, but it's so devastating. So yeah, agreed.

Okay, let's go back to Dominic.

Like I was about to— he's calling from Glasgow, Scotland. Dominic, welcome.

Hi, can you hear me? Yes. Hi, how are you?

Yes, we can hear you.

Hi, Dr. Dyer. Um, firstly, I hope you can understand my, uh, very strong, uh, Scottish accent.

You sound like you— I think I thought you were from Brooklyn. I can't believe it. Brooklyn, yeah, right.

It's a pleasure to speak to you. Just, just like reference to your— you've been my, uh, Jimmy Cricket, if you remember that story. You know, Ronnie Jones, um, and just quickly before I go to my first— my question, have you ever lectured in Scotland, Dr. Dyer?

I have, I have lectured in Glasgow many, many years ago. Yeah.

And have you any plans to come back to Scotland anytime?

If they invite me back, if they can talk so I can understand them, I'll come back. No, okay.

Well, well, we'd love to see you over here.

I'd love to see you over here, and it's always been a sort of passion and a passing sort of dream that maybe one day we'd get you over here, not just to do some talks, but to help this country, 'cause I think this country needs guys like you more than anything, but that's just an aside. Just going on to my question, I recently had some, went through a really bad period at work, so much so with my boss, with the management, so much so that that really, um, it was stressful. I got very run down. I eventually had to go off sick. I went into a deep depression, almost a suicidal depression, that lasted through Christmas and the New Year. Thankfully, I'm coming through that, and part of that is that I've rediscovered my interest in the spiritual side of things, and particularly yourself and other people like you. I know that to get through this, I know how important forgiveness is. And I can feel that forgiveness is the right thing to do, that I need to forgive these people to move forward. But how do I balance, you know, forgiving these people, but at the same time I think they should be called to account for what I think was bad and bullying management behavior and something that affected me. I take responsibility for the fact that it affected me. And I'd like to forgive them, I'd like to move forward, but at the same token I'd like them to be held accountable for their actions and to know that it didn't do me any good, it doesn't do them any good, and it won't do anyone that works for them again any good. Good. Is there anything you can tell me about how you handle that situation? Sure.

The problem with getting people to be accountable generally is that the motivation behind that is revenge rather than justice and getting even. And if you were to do a muscle test, if you were to do a kinesiology little test on yourself, like by just getting, getting someone to— if you just were to stick your arm out and make a fist and as tight as you possibly can and have someone push down on it. And have that someone who knows what they're doing do this in the moment while you're thinking first of all about forgiving these people. And notice how much stronger you are when you forgive. And then just go to that revenge, get to the getting even part, which is what you're discussing, and notice the change. And you'll see that you'll get very, very weak. So that when we, when we seek out revenge— there's an old Chinese saying that says that if you're going going to pursue revenge, you'd better dig two graves. Yeah. Um, and the reason for that, of course, is that you're going to kill yourself in the process. If you can just let it go, if you can turn the holding them accountable thing that you are looking for over to someone else and detach yourself completely from the outcome of that, then that's fine. Let the lawyers, let the, you know, the judges, let whoever it is that's in charge of that and just dismiss yourself from it. Let go but likelihood is that you can't. And forgiveness generally means exactly what it says, that forgiveness means to let go, to no longer assign blame, to no longer make yourself the victim of, uh, all of that negativity, all of the shame, all of the anger, all of the hatred, all of the bitterness. All of that stuff is an alignment that you have with that very kind of energy, and the universe will just keep offering you experiences that are going to match that. And you're going to find yourself being bitter, and you're going to find yourself being upset and so on. The other— the best way around all of this is that I have found is, uh, is to take those people that you think were the, the most demonic, the ones who did the most damage, and to have them in your own mind become your greatest teachers. To see them as teachers. And all of those experiences that were— that, that have gotten you— see, you're, you're now into March and you're not thinking suicidal, you're not depressed. You're not. As a matter of fact, you're, you, you're moving into a higher and a higher place right now. I can feel it right now for you, Dominic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And something's coming really good for you very, very soon, probably within just, you know, just a matter of days or weeks, uh, that you're going to see that without that experience of whatever it is that you had to go through, you wouldn't be able to get to this place now where you can now look back on your depression and your fear and your anger and all of that. So those were great. Those are great, great teachers. And sometimes you really need to move in life, you know. You need to make a decision. You need to change jobs. You need to change relationships. You need to change cities. Very often these are the kinds of things that internally you absolutely know that you no longer can, can function at the level you'd like to function in the place that you are. So the universe, or God, whatever you want to call it, begins to give you all kinds of options to do it. But because of your fear because you're just so used to being in the place that you've always been, you just continue to hang on there. And then ultimately what happens is that need to change, it turns into something where you don't have any choice anymore. Now you're going to start getting sick. Now you're going to start getting, you know, depressed. Now you're going to, you know, and all of that. So look upon all of them as great teachers to help you to move into a higher and higher place.

I mean, I really, I really would like to move on from— actually, and I know that I need to change my life and that job is not for me, but I'm having difficulty just letting it go and moving on, and, you know, there's some sort of sense of shame or failure attached. Is that something I just need to come to terms with?

No, convert it to love. Send all of those people love. Put— so if the best thing that you can do when we hang up this phone, which we're going to do in just a second, is to send some flowers or send a book just to the person who you think was the most antagonistic towards you, and, and then be, be gone with it. Okay, that's, that's the best. God bless you, nobody.

Dr. Dye. Dr. Dyer, let's continue on with some of our callers today. Okay. Yeah, just slammed with people trying to get a hold of you, so making my job pretty hard because I have to sift through them all and, and think who needs to hear the advice the most. Oh my goodness, and it is tough. How about Carrie? She's calling from Memphis, Tennessee. Carrie, welcome to the program today.

Hi, Summer. Hi, Dr. Dyer. Hi, Carrie. Likewise.

Is Elvis still there? Is Elvis in the building?

They say he's alive and well.

Yes, and everywhere I go to, every time I go to Memphis, he's there.

Yeah, that's right. I love your work. I have a question. I don't even know if you can answer, but can you give me some advice on how to raise my children? I have a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old, and I struggle with disciplining them yet not trying to have them lose their creativity or their own person, but raise them, you know, with my beliefs but then have them keep their beliefs. You know, I struggle with the balance. And then when I get to discipline, you know, the spanking or timeout or, you know, the proper way to discipline them to not break them.

Yeah, it's a big game. It really is. I know I have 8 children and I still struggle with it. And I struggle with my 40-year-old and I struggle with my 18-year-old and everyone in between. So it's not anything that ever goes away. I wrote a book about all of this years back called What Do You Really Want What You Want for Your Children, which is a paperback that you can find. It's not a Hay House book, but I think they might— they can probably give you information on how to get it. Okay. And also, I've written some children's books, Incredible You and Unstoppable Me, and then another one, It's Not What You've Got. There's 3 now. But I think the central issue, the central thing around parenting for me, came out of a line from Khalil Gibran in The Prophet when he said, your children are not your children. They are the products of life's longing for itself. They come through you but not for you. And I think always keeping that in mind, that these are not your possessions, that— and also that your children are not apprentice people. You know, it's not like they're on their way to becoming something else. They are whole, they are complete, they are total right now, just like you are. You know, we're all on our— you know, we're all in a— always in a constant state of movement and a constant state of flow. And to practice as much as you can. The Tao will be very helpful. Have you read my new book, Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life?

Do you have that? I do have it.

Yeah, I'm reading it. Yeah, it's a slower read and it's a little harder read. It really is. But one of the biggest things about that is that you find your truth in nature. And that, you know, there's a wonderful poetic line that says, the things we love, we have to learn to leave alone. How much can we practice non-interference? How much can we— you know, we can't take a 2-year-old and allow them to go out and play in the driveway when there's cars outside, you know, obviously. But on the other hand, you know, you don't want to become one of those hovering, what they call helicopter parents, who are constantly hovering over their children all the time and interfering and correcting them and so on. So find— being able to find that balance between what— when I interfere, it is for their safety and it is for what is absolutely best for them. Them. But if it's for me, if it's because I need to, you know, be this authoritarian person, or I need to have them be subservient to me and pay attention to me and listen to me, and I'm the boss and they're small and they don't have a right to— you know, that's where you have to really just begin to practice this non-interference thing. I have found that when I say to my children, when they ask me what to do, or even when I'm telling them what to do, that the less I say— but most often what I What I say very often to my children and did throughout all of the years of raising them is that, you know, the right thing to do, you really know, even as a 3-year-old, you know, a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old fighting with each other and a 4-year-old pushes a 2-year-old, you can remind them that they know what the right thing to do is, that being pushed around isn't something that you would like. And, and I'm just asking you to do what you know inside of your heart is the right thing to do. In other words, to take to make your role as the one who's constantly telling them what to do and telling them how to be and what, where they should go and what they should think and all of that, to let that go and to remind them that just because they share your genetic background doesn't mean that they, that they share the same goals and aspirations and what they're going to do in their lives. And all of us, I think, can recognize and understand that, you know. That's about as much as I can say in the little bit of time that I have. Up. I think just, you know, love them. You love the things we love for what they are. Just love them for what they are. And remember, they— even though they have the same mother and the same father, those two kids are very, very, very, very different and may have very different, uh, ways to go in their lives, right?

Does discipline even exist then?

And I actually— discipline, I think discipline, yeah. But I don't ever think that it's right to be— to, to lay a hand on another human being. Yeah, I just don't think it's— I don't think it can be. And I must say, there have been times in my life, I'm sure, that I slipped and, uh, slapped them on the butt and things like that. But almost always, that was my inability to either remove myself from the scene. One of the most important things that I used to tell mothers over and over again is, when I wrote my book on raising children, was, uh, find a place, especially if you got more than one child who do a lot of fighting around you you, and they do it for you. You know, find a place in your house, usually the bathroom. I used to call it go to the bathroom. And in that, in there, put, uh, you know, put your reading material in there, put a little glass of wine in there if that's what you're— whatever it is, little refrigerator, whatever. And close that door. And when they start the arguing, the minute that they start the arguing, you don't say a word to them. You just dismiss yourself from the room. You get up and you excuse yourself. You excuse me, and you're gone. So that now if they're going to do that fighting or that arguing or the pushing, whatever it is, they don't have the audience, which is what they're looking for. And almost always, their very, very, very favorite audience is mommy. You know, mommy's the one that they do most of that for. Summer, you might want to add something to that, having two little ones yourself as well.

But I don't have any fantastic tricks up my sleeve.

Okay, you got a tiny little baby there though yet, so We won't be long, but those 2 of yours are going to—

yeah. Every child is different, and what works for one may not work for the other. And that's all I, that I have been able to piece together. When I wrote what you—

go ahead. When I wrote What Do You Really Want for Your Children, I wrote it based upon asking that question to many, many, many parents around the country. What do you really want for your children? And what you really want for your children is not for them to be disciplined and not for them to do what they're told. And not for them to fit in and all of that. What you want for them is to be happy, to have a sense of purpose, to feel loved, to feel like they are, you know, strong, important, uh, people. And each one of the chapters of that book is based upon what you really want for your children. And it's usually not to have someone who's— and by the way, children who are obsequiously, uh, always obeying their parents, always without ever questioning, generally grow up to have the highest levels of prejudice prejudice because they're taught to not think for themselves but to think like how their parents think. Right. And if you want to have prejudiced children, then that's what'll happen.

Okay. We don't want that.

Thank you for your time. Okay, God bless you. Thank you for calling.

Namaste. Oh, Carrie, well, good luck to her. You caught me off guard with that question.

She's only got— yeah, she's only got 2, I think. 2?

My goodness, I could do 2 and play a tennis Yeah, but you know, and you would say, wouldn't you, that every one of them, you have had to modify your parenting style a bit to address their own unique spirit. I mean, that's what I really work on.

And with the— it's like a great coach. I mean, the greatest coaches in any athletic are people who, who don't have one particular way of coaching. They expect everybody to fit into it all the time. They recognize that some kids need to be sat down and talked to, some Some a pat on the back will work better. Some a little crack on the behind works better. Some, you know, if you withhold privileges, it works. And they know exactly what it is that works to motivate each and every one of those people. And they use whatever it is that they need to do rather than say, this is my philosophy and you got to fit into it, because a lot of them just won't.

Yeah. I also think that she's at the point where she's asking if she's already self-aware and self-conscious of her parenting, she's probably doing fine. It's the parents who aren't asking themselves that question that are, you know, probably need to.

Well, it's always crucial also as a parent to look at your children and recognize that they're not going to be the way you think they should be. They're going to be what they came to be.

Very true. Dr. Dyer, let's get one more caller in, maybe two, but I think we need to speak with Erica in Springfield, Illinois. She's on line 9. Erica, welcome to our program today. You are live with Dr. Wayne Dyer. Hi. Hi, Erica.

Hi. How are you? I love you, Dr. Dyer.

Oh, thank you. I love you too.

Thank you. First, I just— I listened to your show last week and it was so powerful, and I just wanted to share for some of your listeners, because I know a lot of people listen to you and are going through a really hard time. I've been thinking a lot about kind of the power of tragedy and how there's a blessing hidden in all of it. And my own experience with this is that my mom died a couple years ago of cancer, and I'm an only child, and so I took care of her the last 7 weeks of her life by myself around the clock, you know, no nurse, no help, and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. You know, I was almost broken physically and emotionally, but now 2 years down the road, it's such a blessing that I have to say that that was the biggest gift my mother ever gave me. Has been the best thing that happened to me in my entire life. I mean, I miss my mom every single day, but, you know, the way that I've grown and let go of fear and learned to let go of people is just— it was worth it. I don't know what I can say. I'm just so grateful. Right.

The taking care of her, was it like, uh, total, completely, like, uh, putting her on the toilet and taking her off and bathing her and feeding her? Was it—

what did you do? And getting up at midnight when she would throw up and sitting up with her while she threw up all night and, you know, all of it.

Yeah, can you, can you reverse the roles and remember when you were throwing up, when you were just, um, you know, you know, unable to help yourself and, um, you know, a tiny little infant? And that was, I'm sure, your mom doing the very same thing for, for you that, that you were doing for her. I, I've never forgotten that, uh, I remember my, uh, when my grandmother was dying and my mother was taking care of her mother and, um, she was, uh mashing up a banana because my grandmother was too sick at that time to even be able to chew a banana. So she would mash it up, and she actually would sometimes take it and put it in her own mouth and just mash it up herself and make it almost liquidy, and then put it in her mother's mouth. And she said to me, she said, that's exactly— because she remembered, because she had little brothers and sisters— she said, that's exactly what my mother used to do for her babies. And now, now it's my turn to be able to give back. And instinctively built into every single one of us, especially the feminine energy. In the female, there's this internal instinct to offer and provide and to take care of and to reach out and to serve and to give. It's exactly what I talked about on the Ellen Show last week, that when you get to that place that Lao Tzu calls this the virtues, you know, living from the great virtues, when you forget yourself, when you just reach out and offer what you are doing, other than just being a great servant and a wonderful person, what you are doing is you're acting the way God acts. You're living what is called a God-realized life. And in those 7 weeks that you had in order to be able to serve and to offer, you were probably as close to God as you've ever been since you've been here on this planet. You know, I was.

It was heartbreaking, but at the same time I felt this deep sense of peace inside. That helped me get through it. I was only able to let go of her, well, first because, you know, she obviously was going to a better place than what she was experiencing, but I felt like I had done everything I was called to do, and so I had no regrets. I just felt like it was the way it was supposed to be.

Right. Well, the great lesson for you now, though, is to be able to take that great learning that you had, that great— even though it was frustrating and difficult and you were tired and all of those kinds of things, things, but to go past that and to begin to realize that in the moments that you were in a space of letting go of your ego and just reaching out and forgetting about yourself, just doing that. They say that in the presence of the God-realized, the laws of the material world do not apply. This is really important closing for this show. When the, you know, in the presence of the God-realized, that means in the presence of those who are out there just reaching out and serving and doing nothing more, then the laws of the material world do not apply. I remember Mother Teresa saying to a close friend of mine when he didn't know what to do, she said, tomorrow morning get up at 4:00 AM and go out onto the streets and find someone who's living there who believes that they're alone and convince them that they're not. That's what you can do, and that's what you were doing with your mom. I honor you for sharing that with us today. God Bless you.

It will, definitely will.

Thanks so much for your call, Erica, and thank you, Dr. Dyer, for spending another hour of your time with us this week.

My pleasure. God bless you. Namaste to everyone. Dr.

Wayne Dyer joining us in Maui. Dr. Dyer, it's great to chat with you.

Thank you, it's good to be here. So my brother sent me— I just, before we get to calls, I just want to read this. He sent me something that he was writing. My brother's a veteran and he was in Vietnam. One day, a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, uh, leaving a space between each name. Then she told them to think of the nicest thing that they could say about each and every one of their classmates and to write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers. That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the names of each student on a separate sheet of paper and listed what everyone else had said about that individual. On Monday, she gave each student his or her list. The entire class was smiling. "Really," she heard whispered. "I never knew I meant so much to anyone," and "I didn't know others liked me so much" were most of the comments. No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on. Several years later, one of the students was killed in Vietnam, and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature. The church was packed with his friends. One by one, those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin. Coffin. As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as a pallbearer came up to her. Were you Mark's math teacher? he asked. She nodded yes. Then he said, Mark talked about you a lot. After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together for a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with the teacher. We want to show you something, his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it. Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded, and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the things each of Mark's classmates had said about him. Thank you so much for doing that, Mark's mother said. As you can see, Mark treasured it. All of Mark's former classmates Lists started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home." Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put this in our wedding album." "I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary." Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet, and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me at all times," Vicki said, and without batting an eyelash, she continued I think we all saved our lists. That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends that would never see him again. The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day, and we don't know when that day will be. So please tell the people you love and care for that they are special and important. Tell them before it's too late. Yeah, I just thought that was such a beautiful message. Wow. And what a wonderful thing to do in a classroom because I remember years ago I came across some research in some of my reading and I jotted it down and I used this in a lot of my earlier talks that there's a tribe in the northern part of South Africa where whenever anybody in the tribe gets out of line, misbehaves, starts acting crazy, you know, does things that are inappropriate, whatever it might be, gets angry, lashes out at people, whatever, that everybody in the tribe would gather around and they would put the person in the middle of the circle. And everybody in the circle and everybody in the tribe would go around and say to this recalcitrant, troublemaking person sitting in the center what they liked about them and what they loved about them. And rather than all of them pointing out all the things they didn't like and the things that were wrong, They just consistently would tell them how wonderful they are, how much they were treasured, what they liked about them, and so on. And that would end the problem. And they had almost no disciplinary problems in this particular tribe because the focus was always on looking at what you like, looking at what's positive, instead of continuously looking out from behind your eyeballs and seeing people the way you think they should be, or seeing, you know, and expecting the world to be different than it really is. And sending love and appreciation to people. That, that story, I don't know if it's a true story or if it's apocryphal. It's, uh, my brother sent it to me, but I think it's got a lot of implications. And you school teachers out there who might be listening, what a wonderful idea to do in a classroom, especially in a classroom where everybody knows each other, to let them hear the things that people don't say enough about how much they're, they're loved and how much they're treasured and so on. I love it. And I learned this lesson, yeah, I learned this lesson personally years ago with one of my children who was having some issues with prescription drugs. And what I did, I don't know how long ago this was, 20-some years ago, I called a family meeting and I had everybody in the family tell this person, one of my children, how upset it made them to see her behaving in these ways and the impact that it had on them and the impact that it had on mom and on dad and on the family and so on. And each person, as they would go around, would be saying, you know, negative things to this person and just reinforcing perhaps the reasons why these prescription drugs were being used in the first place. And it was a very important lesson for me to learn that if I were to do that over, and I did do it over later, is to put that same person in the room. And instead of having everybody point out what you don't like and what's wrong and what's missing and how you're hurting everybody else and so on. But instead to say to that person, have each person talk about all the things about them that they love, the things that they treasure, you know, that they remember about them. So that came out of my own learning experience, and I just thought I wanted to share that here this morning because so often, so many of the calls that we take here on the radio show are a reflection of the one thing that I think everybody out there wants. Everybody wants to know that they are loved. You know, that story about him carrying that around with him for his whole life. It's like whenever he would have any doubts about that, he would open that little piece of paper that he carried and be reminded about how valuable he is, how loved he is, how terrific he is. We all need to know that. And I think if we did that, not only could we change the consciousness in our families, but we could change it in our communities, in our country, which God knows needs a lot of bringing together. We become the divided States of America instead of the United States of America. And the same thing globally and in the world, because with what's going on in Gaza today and what's, you know, with planes being shot down out of the air, and we've got to look within and find, you know, in our neighbors and in our people, especially the ones that annoy us, what about them that we love rather than what about them that we hate? It's a good way to focus in our life. As I say in my station, you know, loving people live in a loving world. And hostile people live in a hostile world. And it's the same world. It's the same world. Just decide what kind of person you're going to be. Saint John of the Cross, who was a 16th century Spanish mystic and a saint in the Catholic Church, was the person who really coined the term the dark night of the soul. Said that he had one quote that I've always remembered. He said, where there is no love, put love, and you will find love. And I think that really speaks to compassion. And, you know, if you really want to find love, just look where there is no love, particularly, you know, in some of the kinds of things that are going on in the world today, and put love there. And then you will find love. And in your daily relationships with each other, it's a good lesson. Just put some love there and guess what? That's exactly what you'll see coming back to you.

And that was St. John of the Cross? Yeah, St.

John of the Cross. Yeah. Yeah, he was a Spanish mystic. He spent a lot of his years in prison. I read a whole biography of him not too long ago. Beautiful man, like a monk. Yeah. I love that ancient wisdom. Yes, it's pretty modern too.

Yeah, and it still fits. Right. So you ready to share with some people here?

Let's see who's out there. Some points all over. Who would like to talk to me this morning?

Well, this is a cool name. So I'd like to start with her, Leilani. Leilani in Denver. That's a very common name here in Maui.

Is it? Yeah, and there's a restaurant about 700 yards from where I live called Leilani's here on Maui. So you hear a lot of Hawaiian people, but I'll bet you this lady has some Hawaiian background.

Are you Leilani? Welcome to the show. Are you from Hawaii? Aloha.

No, I was not born in Hawaii, but I spent some time on the Big Island. Oh, well, welcome. Nervous, Dr. Dyer. Thank you. I woke up this morning and I said, I'm going to talk to Dr. Dyer today, and it's happening.

And it's happening. Good for you. It's because, because of that name of yours, that Leilani. How did you get that name? How come your mom named you Leilani?

Uh, it means heavenly flower, and they like this song called Sweet Leilani. Oh yeah, yeah, there you go.

Well, great. Okay, Heavenly Flower, what's on your mind, my dear?

Well, a couple Dr. Dyer, I'm involved with the crystal water healing project, and I want to send you some free crystals to put in the oceans on September 21st. Okay. And we just say a chant. It's a global project, aqua.org.

And what is it?

Say it again, say it slower so we know. Aqua, a-q-u-a-l-u-z, l-u-z, dot org. We're having a global water healing event on September 21st, and we're passing around crystals around the globe. And you infuse the crystal with your light and love and place it in the water. I love that. What a nice idea. And I call you because I had the merit to hear you at I Can Do It in Denver, and that event changed my life. How so? Well, you just could, uh, your story about how everything in your life has lined up and how you've taken the pain of your childhood and that has brought you light. And I can see clearly, yes, I believe my dharma involves traveling. I'm a world traveler and I love it so much and helping people. So I envision traveling the world and helping women and children heal from trauma. But I'm just me.

I don't have a family.

I don't have— I'm just this person with this big dream, and I'd like your guidance on how to manifest it.

Well, you don't need my guidance. Every desire that we have is placed there by an intelligence, the same intelligence that, you know, I'm looking out my window right now at all these palm trees, and I'm looking over I see birds just flitting by here, building a nest of some kind. And I look over at the ocean, and I'll be in the ocean in a little while, and I look at all of these creatures that are down there, and there goes another bird. And whatever intelligence it is that is moving everything in the universe also is what places these desires inside of us. It isn't something that we can do with our human personality, because our human personality has no idea even what a desire is or what a thought is. Is. We are restricted to our senses, what we can touch, what we can see, what we can feel, what is physical, what has form, what has beginning, what has ends, and so on. But thoughts and desires are outside of that realm completely. You can't get a hold of a thought. How many thoughts can you put in a, in a quart bottle? You know, I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's infinite. So whatever it is that places these desires inside of us, it's what I call our impersonality, the impersonal part of of us, that which is in everything. And that placed that in there for you, Leilani. It's, uh, that burning desire is there. And it wasn't you, Leilani, when you said it, you're just me. You're not just me. That's just a belief system that you have that identifies you on the basis of what you can see with your eyes and what you can touch with your hands and what you can smell with your nose and so on. But who you are is really a piece of the divine. You know, you have the intelligence that creates worlds deep within you. It's who you are, and it placed that in there. This whole crystal project and the things that you want to do and the traveling, you know, and helping people, women and so on. All you have to do is not let yourself get distracted from this intelligence that was placed in there. You know, you have to remind yourself, why is— why do I have such a desire to do this? Where does this come from? And then you stop yourself and say, well, the answer to that isn't going to be found found in my human self. It's going to be found in my spiritual self. So I have to just let go of that and just trust and just trust that whatever it is that placed it in there for me and I can't let it go. And it's like, I call it your excitement. You know, you get so excited about this. The reason that you're excited about it is because you're aligned with your dharma. You're aligned with what it is that you came into this world to be. That's why it feels good because feeling good and, and feeling God are exactly the same thing. There's zero difference between good and God. One zero. So now you trust in that and you say, okay, this wasn't me that placed this in here. And so I'm going to allow myself to surrender to it. And I'm going to trust that whatever intelligence it is that placed that in there for me is also going to place next to me or within my grasp all of the tools and everything that I need to be able able to fulfill it and to actualize it. And this is what I can see clearly is about. Now you have to move into these— the ladder that I've spoken about so many times here on the show, that Rumi said that when we are born, a ladder is placed before us to help us to escape from this world. That is, to escape from the belief that our senses are the things that are our reality. So now you have these rungs on this ladder, and the rungs on the ladder are things that I call willingness. Like, how willing are you to do whatever it takes to align your behavior with this burning desire that has been placed inside of you? You know, and if you have anything on your unwilling list, well, I'm not willing to do this and I can't afford that, and that means I might have to move here and I might have to change this relationship, or I might have to change jobs, or I might have to go to, you know, whatever it might be. If you read I Can See Clearly Now, you are listening to a man who was always willing to do whatever it took to fulfill that dharma, to climb that rung on the ladder, to help me to escape from this physical world and move into the world of spirit where all things are possible. You know, with God, all things are possible. And I always ask my audience, now what does that leave out? So willingness and determination is another rung on that ladder, and compassion that Diane mentioned earlier is on that ladder, and fearlessness. Like, how many How many times do I let my fears— fears that I might fail, fears that I won't have enough money, fears that other people won't approve of me— letting go all of that? Because the same force that is growing your fingernails every single night, independent of your opinion about it, no matter how much you may say to yourself tonight when you go to bed, I'm not going to have these fingernails grow, I'm tired of them growing and I got to cut them all the time and color them, I'm going to stop it. There's a force that is greater than your physical itself that just grows your fingernails. And that's the same force that placed that desire in you. And now you move to the ultimate on the ladder. You say, okay, I'm willing. That's why I wrote I Can See Clearly Now, to let people see that when you come to a fork in the road and you're not sure which way to turn and you trust your intuition, you'll be guided. You'll be guided by what inside of you is just what I call your excitement, but it's really your alignment. With the universal source. It's, uh, what Abraham calls the law of attraction. And that's how you do it, my dear, until you ultimately get to the top of the ladder where you look around yourself and you say, you know, I'm really not here as a human being at all having a spiritual experience. My true essence, who I am as a human being, is I am really a spiritual being. I'm an infinite spiritual being having a very temporary human experience. And I'm going to trust in that and I live from that place. So now I'm going to start doing what I wrote about in Wishes Fulfilled. I'm going to assume the feeling of the wish fulfilled. I'm going to feel what it feels like to be doing this thing that you've described to me, not as something that I'm going to do if everything works out, but as an already accomplished fact, you know, in your mind. And then you begin to act in that way, and you start to align with all of the forces that make everything happen in the world. And that's my rant. Beautiful. Makes sense.

I wish you were my father. You're so—

well, I, I am your father. You know, we're all each other's children and all each other's brothers and sisters. We're truly the same intelligence that created you, that brought you into this world, brought me into this world. We both— we originated from the same place. There's only one source. There's only one.

Is there any way I can send you— I have a crystal that that actually takes toxins out of the water called shungite, and I'd love to send you some. How do I— okay, talk to the people.

No, here's what you do. When, when you hang up, what we're going to do is we're going to— you leave your address and we're going to send you a brand new book that was written by my daughter Serena and myself called Don't Die with Your Music Still Inside of You, and also my other daughter's CD which is called Letting Go. We're going to send you both both of those as a gift to everyone that calls in today. And the person that takes down the edits will give you my address here on Hawaii, and then you can just mail it to me directly right here in Maui. I love you, Dr.

Dyer. Thank you for being— I love you too, Leilani. Aloha.

Thank you so much. Aloha. God bless you.

Namaste. God bless. Namaste.

And we'll get that out to Leilani, or I'll get her information and send the address because I give her my address as well.

Yeah, I want to get the crystals. I want my water purified.

That's great.

Water is such a big thing. I mean, she was talking— I don't like— I would like to have gone into that because someday I'd like to do a show on water. As I've told you before, I do an ayahuasca ceremony about once a month now, and I'll go into that maybe sometime as well. But one of the lectures that was given in the middle of that ceremony the last time I was there about a month ago was a talk on water. It was a gratitude gratitude for water. And you know, when I did the Tao and I was a Taoist for a year in 2005, when I wrote Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life based on the Tao Te Ching, 27 verses in the Tao mention water and what we have to learn from it and how it's, you know, the essence of it. And this, this talk that was given and these songs that were sung as a tribute to water and just being in it, it's like gratitude is one of the big themes in my life these days. I'm, you know, in my talks, I now thank my audience very often for all the wonderful things that have come into my life because they've decided, you know, that I would be someone whose books they would buy or whose lectures they would listen to or whose lectures they would pay to come and hear. And I'm thanking them in that state of gratitude. And I think water is one of the things, and air and fire, you know, and these kind of things that we just all just simply take for granted. And then our livers, you know, We should have a Liver Appreciation Day, you know, every single day, because without that liver, you know, there's not many breaths that you're going to take. And water is one of the things that I feel very strongly about, that it's being contaminated in our world.

Well, it's certainly an important issue around the world and something— I mean, you're right, we do take it for granted, you know, here in the States. We're a little more aware, I think, in Southern California because we're drying up here. We have No water. And then on the East Coast, we're in floods.

I've often given this metaphor. I don't know if I've done it on the radio show or not, but I will since it's come up. It's like a balance. We're just out of balance. And consciousness, we know that our consciousness impacts all of the, everything in our environment. You know, I was looking at some studies of the impact that our thoughts have on plants. You know, when you're around plants and plants know that you're someone who doesn't doesn't respect them or it's got hate in your heart, they close up and so on. And when you come to plants with love and so on, you know, they— you know, we know that our consciousness impacts simple things like plants and the animals and of course each other as well. And if our consciousness impacts the environment, then— and our environment is really out of whack, it seems to me, these days. I mean, so many floods and so many fires. I mean, there's a huge fire up in the West Coast of Washington that's out of control. And then on the East Coast, we've got this— we got a country that is divided, you know, the divided states of America on one coast. And what is happening physically in our planet is that we're so out of balance that we're on one hand, we're all the way with water, all the way to the left, there is no water, it's drought. And on the other hand of the country, we have so much of it that it's drowning us. And that there's some connection in there somewhere. Somewhere between— if we know that the thoughts that we have impact our plants around us, certainly we know that collectively, if enough of us have thoughts of division and hatred and what we don't like about each other, that that collectively is going to impact everything in our culture. And so we've really got to get back to a place where we're thinking and living and loving as one rather than in a divided way.

So true. We're all connected in that universal field, right?

Yes, we certainly are.

All right, where should we go next?

That was a long rant this morning. That was my call.

But it's good when you get on a roll, you know, it's all— it's always something good.

I like it myself. I look back and say, that was brilliant. Who said that? Write it down.

Right, so let's go to Amy, and she's on line 3. And Amy, I know people probably say Missouri It's Missouri or Missouri? Well, how do you say it?

I say Missouri.

Okay, it's the Show-Me State. It's the Show-Me State.

It is the Show-Me State, right? Dr. Dyer, I have to say thank you for taking my call, listening to you.

I'm not even sure why I called except for to say, first of all, the story you felt about— shared about the teacher.

Um, yeah, isn't that great? Third grade teacher did that. Really? Oh, tell me about it. Still have those.

What she did was we had a student of the week every week, and I sit down and the child would sit in the front, and she would go student by student and write down something nice about that student that the other classmates shared, and it would hang on the wall for the entire week. And so I actually got to do it twice that year because we ran out of students, and it's something that I kept forever.

I still have the them. Oh, isn't—

now see, what motivated me to write I Can See Clearly Now— I don't know, have you read that? Have you had a chance to read that book? No, I have not. All right, make a note, Diane. We're going to send her a copy of that, okay? She's that one person left in the world who hasn't read it.

We'll send it out.

But, uh, in the writing of that, I was really motivated to write that just to let people know that that feeling— that it was motivated— I actually decided to write it. I was reading a book called To Know We Are Loved by Rashad Field, and that's F-E-I-L-D. For some reason he's a Sufi, and he said that it's the one thing that all of us just want to have in our lives. If this is taken care of, all of the other things that we call problems dissolve, uh, right away. And that's just to know that we are loved. And imagine, you know, you said as a third grader, that was like many, many years ago for you, and you probably have carried that thing around, or you've referred back to it, and it's like it's just a confirmation that, hey, I'm not only loved by my fellow students and my family and all that, but I'm loved by a divine intelligence as well. You know, I'm loved by whatever it is that is love. You know, it's like Jesus said, God is love. You know, if we came from love, then, um, you know, when we have love in us, we have God in us, and we become God when we have love inside of us. Yeah, and to know that we are Love. So you carried that around with you, did you, for your lifetime?

Yes, I still have them out in my garage. Isn't this cardboard paper? Uh-huh. Really great. But I actually wanted to be a third grade teacher because of that. That's what I was going to do with my life when I grew up. Wow, I love it. A very long time.

Yeah. So, uh, thank you. Go ahead.

My question really was I'm at kind of a unique place in my life.

I've spent a lot of time trying to energetically clear blocks from my path, and I've recently— I've wanted to do a documentary for about 21 years now and recently have been offered the opportunity to do that. But I find that as I'm supposed to be working on the storyboard and things, that I get stuck and just don't do it. And I I want to do it, I'm very excited about it, and I just don't know what old patterns are coming up for me and how I can figure out what they are so that I can clear them and not lose out on this opportunity that I really want.

Okay, so the biggest blockage that you have, you've already demonstrated in your question, and that is— seriously, I mean, I'm not being critical— it's that You know, you can never accomplish anything unless you can first expect it of yourself. So the question I would ask for you, have for you, Amy, would be, what do you expect from yourself? You know, now you want to do a documentary and you know that there are going to be obstacles and they're going to be different. There's going to be— this is going to come up and that's going to come up and that isn't, you know. But have you already seen the finished product? See, when I start start to write a book, for example, I'm already in the process of that. I, I want to share a little bit about what's happening with me in that in a future show right now because it's just been overwhelming. I already have the completed book, a picture of it in front of me that I look at every single day. And so that'd be the first thing I would recommend is seeing it already completed and fulfilled. If it's going to be a DVD or whatever it's going to be, however you're going to create it, get packaging for it, even if it's going to change. See it, look at it, so that every time you look at it, you've already assumed the feeling that is emotionally inside of you. Because emotions are what move this creative process, uh, your feelings. And if you're feeling, you know, just like, uh, what it feels like to know that you've accomplished this, if you could get that feeling now in this moment, and you know, then what you do is you align with the universal source, the divine mind that allows everything to take place. You're aligned with it because that universal source always says yes. And so the funding will start to show up, the right people will start to show up. This is how this whole process works. It's getting past the doubt. I think the first— yeah, the very first obstacle to higher consciousness is— I used to call it banishing the doubt. Shakespeare said our doubts are our traitors. You said, I'm afraid, old Patrick, are going to show up. That's a doubt, you know. Instead of your mind being saying, there's nothing in my past that will do anything to prevent me from fulfilling this vision that I've already seen as an accomplished fact. There is nothing that I have ever experienced that will ever allow me to interfere with it, you know. So you're starting from a place of banishing the doubt, you know. And then you shut down that inner dialogue, you know. That's another obstacle to higher consciousness is this constant inner kind of thing about this isn't going to work out, and what if it doesn't, and what if I don't, you know, and all of the what-ifs and the maybes and the hurts and the fears and so on. All of that stuff just gets rolled in there. Meantime, a person— Maslow used to say to us that a self-actualized person is someone who never places into their imagination anything that they do not want to manifest into their real life. So they would never put a thought into them about I'd like to do this. I'd like to really accomplish this, and I know this is something that I'm really born to do. It's a burning desire that's been placed in there by me, but— and then here comes all of the stuff that is going to interfere with you. And so that inner dialogue is a constant kind of— this is, you know, it's based on feeling that you don't have the ability or the desire or that you're not smart enough or that you're, you know, whatever it might be. And all of that stuff. Whereas a self-actualized person already sees it as an accomplished fact. And just like any obstacle that shows up, they just see that as just something to get around, or to, you know, as you're even grateful for those obstacles, right? You know, it's often been said that every advance that we make towards this higher spiritual place in our life is almost always preceded by a fall of some kind or another, you know, so that all of the the things that most people call obstacles and so on, to a self-actualized person, this is just another stepping stone in order to allow myself to get to this place that I've already been in my imagination. Because, Amy, the greatest gift that you were ever given from the moment that you were conceived is the gift of your imagination. You can place anything in there that you want to have in there, and there is nothing that anyone can do to take it away from you. And that everything, you know, William Blake said that everything that now exists was once imagined, you know. So I used to tell my kids that, you know, crazy sentences like this, that the law of flotation was not discovered by the contemplation of the sinking of things. You know, when the Wright brothers went, uh, you know, down to Kitty Hawk, they weren't contemplating the staying on the ground of things. They were contemplating the getting off the ground of things, and they wouldn't have any other thoughts into their consciousness. And that's why we have airplanes, because somebody, you know, had that vision that was so strong inside of them that they would never allow the opposite— that is, this isn't going to work out. I used to use that example of Thomas Edison when he was trying to invent the electric filament and for the electric— for the light bulb. And someone said to him, how does someone as famous as you who's tried 25,000 different combinations feel about failing 25,000 times? And his answer was classic. He said, I don't know what you're talking about, failure. He said, today I know 25,000 ways not to make a battery. That's what it was, a battery. So anyway, yeah, that's—

I just heard my answer so clearly in that I am thinking about what's preventing me from doing it it and not doing it.

Exactly. That's what I mean. And you become what you think about all day long. Like, I'm in the process, I'm going to write a book that, and I had made up my mind I wasn't going to write a book, you know, any more books a couple of years ago, and now I'm working on, you know, I've written another one, I Can See Clearly Now, and then, you know, I'm working on another one. And it's like, I am so open and I have so surrendered and I'm so— every morning when I wake up, I woke up this morning at 5 o'clock and I just take these two crystals and I put them in my hand and I meditate for like an hour just asking for the guidance to be able to write this book on a subject that I truthfully don't feel knowledgeable enough. I don't feel like I know enough and yet it's just something that won't— it just won't go away. And a lot of it is based on based on this idea about burning desires that I've been speaking about, that, you know, this impersonal self of us, and wanting to make that really clear, and to take the teachings of the Bhagavad Gita and bring it all together in this final book that I really, I feel is writing itself through me. But I never ever allow the thought that I can't do it, you know. I just say to myself, you know, whatever I need will be there at the time that I need it. And I'm coming from a complete and total place of knowing that this is something that I have to fulfill before I leave this earth. That's where you have to get to, my love. That's where you have to get to. And I'm going to send you I Can See Clearly Now, and I'm going to send you Don't Die with Your Music Still in You with Serena Dyer, which is a wonderful book about what it was like to be raised around crazy people like me. And my daughter Skye singing Letting Go, singing the beautiful song that I danced with Serena to at her wedding. On the 1st of July, 3 weeks ago. She's already the long-term marriage, Diane. 3 weeks, they're still together. It's going great. And my daughter's got— saying that beautiful—

on Facebook with her are beautiful. Oh, you saw that?

Oh yeah, of course. I know I posted that, uh, because I wanted everybody to see what a beautiful bride, what a beautiful day it was. It was truly one of the happiest days of my life.

So, yeah, and I have a bag that I purchased purchase from one of your daughters, and I can do it.

Oh sure, Tracy, my daughter Tracy, an Urban Junket. Yeah, if you ever want to know about those, she makes them out of recycled plastic water bottles. I mean, they're— and they're so beautiful. Yeah, she's— yeah. Well, thank you, Amy. Where in Missouri? Where are you from? Where in Missouri?

Nixa, Missouri. I actually work in Branson, Missouri, but, ah, 30 minutes away.

So yeah, that's the home of, uh, Harry Truman. Mun. Yeah, Independence, Missouri. Yeah. Well, thank you, my dear. You're very welcome. Leave your address. God bless you. Thanks for a nice call.

That's great advice too. A lot of people struggle with that. I'm sure that's going to help. And what with the— yeah, with just getting in their own way, you know, self-sabotage and— yeah, those, those negative thought patterns.

I was swimming in a pool up in Annapolis when I was visiting Tracy, and, uh, and there was a, you know, a slogan written on the wall for the swimming team. And every time I would go in one direction, I would look up, and I had my head turned that way, I would read this slogan. And I read it for— I swam that day for a full hour, and so I must have read it, oh, 100 times, you know. And it said, if you want to create something in your life, you must first be able to expect it of yourself, you know. And I just— I would think about that as I swimming, I'd say, yeah, it's really just about what are my expectations for me. And if my expectations are how difficult something's going to be, it can't work out, I can't afford it, you know, I'm not smart enough, I'm too old, whatever it might be. If those are your thoughts, that's what you expect from yourself. The universal subconscious mind aligns with that thought that you have continuously and offers you experiences that match up to it. It gives you all the things that you've said you want. So it's really shifting that around.

Right, it's a good reminder, especially for me, because I'm kind of entering into this home buying realm that I've avoided for a long time. And, you know, so I'm just thinking, hey, the right situation will align, and the right thing I'll find will be great.

I can't tell you how many letters I've had from people over the years, thousands of people, and especially about houses, who— people who get a vision in their imagination of what it is and what it looks like. And after they do that for a while, they can actually see it. They can see the color, they can see what the lawn looks like, they can see what the road— that what the— you know, they can see everything about it. And then one day they look and there it is, and it's like— and it's impossible for them not to get it. That's how powerful, you know, our ability to visualize and manifest. That's, that's how everything happens. Everything happens from our thoughts. All right, let's see if we can get another call in.

A few more people. The— this— I like this one. Ali in Los Angeles, she's on line 5. And I know a lot of people feel disconnected from friends and family and would like to feel closer, so I'm sure people can relate to what Ali's going through. And welcome to the show, Ali. You're on with Dr. Wayne Dyer. Hi, how are you?

Hi, Ali. Hi. So yeah, my family, I think I just basically rejected them when I was a little kid and I moved away. I was able to manifest another home. And how old were you, Allie?

10. You were 10. You just decided one day to leave or?

No, I wanted before that and then when I was 10 an opportunity arose and I moved. Moved into a home for kids, and it was my choice. I had to— I got to choose. And then I was brought to another country by my father. They got divorced when I was 7. I guess America. I was brought to America, and I'm now ready, I think, to reconnect. But I've noticed that even with my present family, I have some closeness, but there's still feel a part of me. Like, I can be vulnerable with myself, I can be vulnerable with a stranger, but I don't really feel safe. I mean, when I'm with my family, I'm just not vulnerable.

I'm just neutral. Which family? The— your original family you're speaking of? Uh, any family.

My current and my, you know—

well, when you say current, what is your current family?

Is it, uh, is it kids in It's your husband and children?

Yeah. Okay. And then now this family that you would like to reconnect to, but if you—

who does that consist of? Sister, brother, mother, my father, who's New York.

Yeah. Okay. So, and have you been estranged from them for all these years? Okay. And now there's something inside of you. And what is that something inside of you? What is this burning desire your entire inside of you saying to you about reconnecting with this original family? What's the motivation behind that? Do you have any idea?

Yeah, I want to open and get more into myself and I have to let go of these patterns of rejection. And I don't actively reject and hate them or anything. I just decided that they weren't working for me and I need I just needed to find something that was gonna support my needs better. So I don't know what I did. It's like I shut down in some way, and I've done that with all humans. And that's shifting inside of me, but I'm still— even people want to get close to me, and I'm just neutral.

I don't know. Yeah. Have you listened to the whole show? Were you on at the beginning of the show when I read that little piece about the schoolteacher and the children in the third grade?

I wouldn't have trusted any— what anybody had said. I don't believe that they would have said something that nice. It would have been just polite. That would have been the story. I can change that now. I can think of— and purposefully— but that was my belief. Let me ask you this.

Do you believe in God or, you know, like some kind of divine presence that allows things to come into the world. It doesn't matter what we call it, but that there is some kind of a— and do you believe that whatever that God is, do you believe that it's loving?

I had an experience in meditation where I was able to see love, and I was able to see how it was constantly surrounding all of us. And the only reason a person doesn't experience or see it is because they're participating in some form of rejection. Yeah.

So, Ali, let me ask you, because we only have a few minutes left, and I think it's really important for you to try this, uh, this little exercise. Just imagine God, you know, the source from which all things are come. And we— the thing that we know about God, what it is, is that, that it's, uh, that there's no place that it is not, that it is eternal, that it is omniscient, and that it is all-knowing and all-powerful, and that it is eternal. So that, and you know, most of the great philosophical teachers will tell us that if you ask them what is real, how do you define reality, they will say that is real which never changes, that is real which is eternal. If it's not eternal, it's not real. So that all hatred, for example, is really not real. All evil is really not real because it's not eternal. It doesn't let— the only thing that is eternal is is this love. Okay, so you— this is your source of being. It wasn't your parents. It wasn't, you know, that brother and mother and sister that you would like to reunite with. That you— where you originally came from is where everything originates from, this original source of being. Try to imagine yourself in a conversation with this source of being that is nothing but pure love. God is love. It's just pure love. And asking this source what it thinks about you Allie, you know, how does it feel about you? Now remember, it is pure love and you came from it. So, and the only thing that it knows, it's just oneness. The only thing that it knows is love. That's why it gives off these little sparks like you and me and everything that ever shows up into this world. And in a conversation with this source, ask it, what do you think of me? And what do you think it would say? You're okay. Yeah, okay, just okay. Let me just— okay, let me try to give you an— go ahead.

No, I'm sorry, go ahead. I just felt like that part of me was feeling, um, defensive and like I'm Refusing to.

So let me try to be that big God and speak to you, Ali. You are part of me. You are a spark of me. I am love. I am pure love. That's all I am is pure love. There's nothing but me. There's no opposites. I'm in a world in which there is no opposite of love. There is no hatred. There's no bitterness. There's no— these are concepts that I don't even know anything about because I'm only pure love, and you are a piece of that. You are a part of that. And therefore, to me, you are nothing but an expression of the highest thing that there is in this universe, the highest force that there is, and it's pure love. That's what you are, and that's how I feel about you. All I can do is love you because you are so precious to me that I gave up a little tiny piece of myself to have you show up in this world. That's perfect you are. And when I don't recognize you is when you go into the reasons why there's something wrong with you, or the reasons that you're bad, or the reasons that you might have come up with in your own mind to place anything negative about yourself in your mind. It's not possible. You are me. I am you. And I just— all I have for you is love. I don't know how that resonates with you. I just got it here in my ear that we just have less than a minute left on the show, but I'd like to send you a copy. Have you read I Can See Clearly Now?

No, I haven't.

Yeah, I'd like to send that to you, and also my daughter's book, uh, Don't Die with Your Music Still in You. Great lesson for that in you. And also Sky's Letting Go. Three little packages all for you today, Ali, because you're just so loved. Thanks for your call and everyone else's calls. A great show today. I love you all.

Namaste. Dr. Dyer, welcome. Good morning.

How are you?

I'm doing very, very well this morning. That's great.

I guess it's not morning anywhere else, but I'm in Hawaii.

I'm stuck in the same time zone all day long. What's going on in your life this week?

Well, I've just been giving a little thought to something that I was talking to my friend Byron Katie about just a few weeks ago on a seminar that we did, which I believe is going to be put out by Hay House as well in another month or two. It was an all-day seminar. She spoke about not being in other people's business. I've given that a lot of thought. There are a lot of ways that that is something that interferes with us, especially with our own happiness and fulfillment as people. One of the things that I've noticed a lot, I don't know if you've noticed it, Summer, but if you look on the newsstand recently, you're going to see just a proliferation of these gossip magazines. They all look almost the same. Used to be one or two. There was like People magazine and Us magazine and a few others, but now there must be 50 of these things that are out there, and they all cover the same things, the same people. I think it's Angelina and it's Jennifer and it's Brad and maybe a handful of others, people who are celebrity-type people, and they have photographers following them around wherever they go. And every one of these magazines, in fact many of them, just use the same pictures over and over and over again. And every week it's the same, it's the continuous thing. And I keep thinking about why are there so many of these now? Why is it— there must be a great deal of profit in that. And why is this one great big profitable item that the American people seem to be just obsessed with, with the, the business of other people, like the, you know, who's had plastic surgery, who's pregnant, who who looks like maybe they would want to be pregnant, who looks— you know, every story is just sort of a continuation of people being obsessed with other people's business. And one of the things that I've learned specifically in the last year or so working on my new book called Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life, which won't be out until later this year, but it's on living the Tao. And many of you who follow this radio show know that I have been working on writing individual essays about the 81 verses that Lao Tzu wrote about 2,500 years ago and how to apply this ancient and powerful wisdom. So what I've done is, you know, I've looked at this, this whole concept of not interfering in our lives and not being obsessed with, you know, other people's lives. The Tao teaches us that non-interference is the most important thing and most important place that we can go to in our lives. So, um, I was just the other day, I, I was, uh, assigned to sort of a, a little babysitting, uh, adventure with my grandson and two little girls. And I was watching them for 3 hours out by the pool, and I noticed I was trying to practice this non-interference, staying out of other people's business, and just making sure that, uh, these are three little children that know how to swim and all that, but just make sure make sure that they're safe, but anything else, just stay out of their business. I had made up my mind I'm going to just stay out of their business. And I would watch the two of them would go together down at one end of the pool and they'd be fighting about something and they'd be arguing about this and then they'd want to come and tell me to resolve it. And it was back and forth, back and forth with this continuous trying to include me in their business. And I was determined that I was going to stay out of their business. And I would watch as, like I was in the pool with one of the little girls or her name is Kylie, and she started being unhappy about something that her sister had said or my grandson had said. And I looked at her and I said, "Well, you get that resolved and I'll be right back." And I dove down to the bottom of the pool, swam to the other edge of the pool. By the time I got to the other end of the pool, maybe 20 seconds later, I stuck my head up and the two of them were hugging. And I found that over a 3-hour period that I could completely stay out of the business of these little children. And they could resolve it themselves and were learning much, much more than just having one great big person come along and interfere. Now, there's an application between that and these gossip magazines, as strange as it may sound, and that is that I think that if you— who you are, whoever you are— if you're obsessed with what somebody else is doing in their life, who they're dating, what their sex life is like, whether or not they've gained weight, whether or not they've had had a boob job, whether or not— the endless kind of obsession with this kind of information is something that you might really want to take a look at and ask yourself, am I in my business or am I in somebody else's business? And if I'm continuously putting my focus on what somebody else is doing, what I'm really doing is shifting the energy away from living my life to its absolute fullest and instead living through the accomplishments or the lack of accomplishments or the bad news or the hard times or whatever it is of other people. And I urge you to just not participate in that, to stop purchasing those kinds of things, to stop simply reading them. Don't even open them up and look at that. And instead, look within. Look at your own life. Because basically what we need, I think, are people who are fully committed to making this world a better place rather than just constantly being consumed with gossip about who's doing what and how it's taking place. That's all I wanted to speak about today, this idea of staying out of other people's business, even your own children's business. One of the great lines that I remember from some of my earlier writing was that the things we love, we have to learn to leave alone. The things we love, we have to learn to leave alone. And I was practicing that with my own little grandson and children, and I watched as they resolved virtually everything rather than having me interfere. What do you think about that, mama of two?

I think it's a profoundly It's a seemingly simple idea that is incredibly complex to actually execute.

Yeah, well, mothers always say that.

Stay away from the fireplace! I'm going to interfere!

But there's a big difference there between— obviously, if you bring children into the world, you can't just say, "All right, go out there and play next to the swimming pool. I know you know how to swim. If you fall in, you'll work it out." I'm not saying that at all.

I know that. Tune to the difference of where you really are needed versus where you can step back.

Yeah, but you'd be surprised how often our young children invoke us to resolve conflicts or difficulties or even tiny little problems that if we just gave them maybe another 20 or 30 seconds, they could resolve. And I don't mean just little children either. I'm talking about teenagers. I'm talking about your adult children. I'm talking about your friends and everything else. Pretty much I've seen this a lot. Allowing other people to figure it out when there's no danger is just something to look at and realize that by getting dragged in there yourself, almost always you become a part of their problem. And now, especially if you have two children there and you take sides with either one of them, then the other one is going to be upset and then back and forth you go. Right.

No, I hear exactly what you're saying, but you have to keep your mind attuned to that process. Yes, right. So, well, Dr. Dyer, I think we have time actually to go right to a call. Wonderful, uh, first section. We have Katie from Raton, New Mexico. Katie, welcome to our show today. Hello, how are you?

Hi, Katie. Hi, Dr. Dyer.

How are you? Good. You're in New Mexico? Yes. I just saw a movie called Little Miss Sunshine. Oh yes, did you see that?

Well, actually, I haven't seen it, but I've heard of it. But it's from—

they're going from Albuquerque to Los Angeles.

They're starting to film a lot out here.

Are they? Yeah, they must be. Albuquerque mainly. Yes, right. Well, how are you today?

Oh, I'm pretty good. I was listening to you talk, and I guess my question is a little different, but that's okay. I was wondering, um, you know, you're talking about living inspired, and I am doing pretty good with, um, I am very inspired, but what I'm having trouble with is maintaining that. I guess there's so many things that can I have— I'm starting a new business and it's a greenhouse business growing tomatoes. Actually, I've been doing this, but I'm expanding into a pretty large business now, and I'm a little nervous about it, but I'm very inspired to do it. And I keep getting— I don't know if I'd call them signs or something from the universe that this is the right direction. What are the signs? But there are— well, things like things start working out, or I talk to people that would maybe buy my product and they're very inspired about what I'm doing. The problem I'm having is the people around me that are close to me don't believe in this at all.

Well, this is related exactly to what I was talking about. They're in your business, aren't they?

Well, very much. My father is the main one, in which I'm 50 years old, but he still likes to get into my business, right? And I mean, I love him and he's very helpful, but he's very negative and he is very afraid for me to go into any kind of debt let's say, because he's afraid, you know, he's just afraid. But he was always a gambler and a goer and a risker, risk-taker and all that. But now he's almost 80 and he doesn't want to see his daughters doing it, right? And I cannot live the uninspired life that he just keeps asking me, why can't you just be happy with what you're doing in the status quo? But I would die.

I would literally die if I had to. That's the answer. When people say that to me, I'm 66 years old and I'm, you know, if you look at my website, you'll see a whole host of weekend seminars and trips that I'm going to be taking around the country and going to Europe and all of these kinds of things. Basically, I should just stay home and relax. I've done enough. Right. You have enough money.

Come on.

Stick around. I want to talk about this. It's really important. You know, one thing that you said there that I just want to reiterate before we leave is that you said that if I don't do it, I would die.

Well, I just don't see myself maintaining the status quo that I'm at right now.

Yeah, and what is that status quo?

Well, I'm working. I have my little greenhouse. It's only running 6 months out of the year, so right now I'm not— actually, I'm just getting ready to start up again. Uh-huh. But it's just not enough, you know. It's small and it's nice, and I enjoy helping the people that I help, but I've always had a bigger vision than this.

What do you love about this greenhouse tomato business?

Well, what I really love is the idea of producing really quality body food and be able to deliver it.

And when you're, when you're in the pro— when you're doing it, like when you're digging and when you're planting and when you've got the seeds and when you see the little shoots come out—

yes, to me it's just all a miracle, isn't it?

I mean, isn't it? It's almost like giving birth. It is, it is.

And I get very excited over very little things, like a plant that maybe I brought back to life because I paid more attention to it. And I might be really excited about that, but I am having trouble finding other people that get as excited as I do.

Do you think it's possible that for your father, for example, you gave one person— to have that same feeling inside of him about that as you do? Do I think it's possible? Yeah. Do you think it's plausible?

Well, I think he does also see things sometimes. He fought me on this little business I started and said, "It's perishables and you're going to lose all your money," and la-da-la-da-la, and "You can't go against the big box stores." I just had a lot of faith and I've done way better than he ever thought I could do. If you make a lot of money or make money doing it, it's successful.

Yeah, exactly. He's kind of in that frame. One of the great lessons that I learned as a young doctoral student from Abraham Maslow, one of the great teachers in my life, was that when he was describing people who achieve at the highest level, who reach what he called self-actualization at the very top of the pyramid, he had two assessments of them. One is that these are people who are detached from outcomes. Outcome. They are detached from outcome. The other one is that they are independent of the good opinion of other people. Those are the two number one and number two criteria. Detached from outcome. That is why I was asking you about the process of what it is that you do, of the digging, of bringing a plant back to life, of the excitement that you feel in participating in the dance of creation, which is what you are doing. That is what I get excited about. It is like letting itself out. Self-actualizing people let go of the outcome. They don't do what they do because of how much they're going to make, because it's going to make them successful, because they're going to get on the bestseller list, because they're going to sell a lot of tomatoes. They do it because it's just an exquisite thing and it just has to grow.

It's like, oh, it is, it is really exquisite.

But that's what I would suggest to you as well. You want to live an inspired life? You just do what your heart tells you you're here for. That makes it, just makes your heart what you're doing.

I can hear that in you. Right, I do. I mean, that's the time I'm very excited. And what bothers me, I guess, is when I try to share it with my family or people close to me and they just don't get it, or it's not exciting to them. And then I'm sort of left with this inspiration by myself a little bit right now.

But that's, you know what, that's, that's this, that's another part of this whole process, is that the moment that you try to share what it is that you are doing that makes you feel so close to God. The minute that you try to do that, you invoke the ego, because what happens is you're going to now have to explain it and defend it or be upset because other people don't understand it. Exactly. So now, and that's ego, because an ego isn't where you're getting all of this inspiration from. You're getting it from spirit. That's what it means to be inspired, to be in spirit.

So the ego is trying to get the approval of others.

Exactly. So what you want to do is you want to detach from that and you just want to go out and if somebody comes along who gets excited about it, like I can feel your excitement about these tomatoes, I really can, and I know what that feels like because I sometimes just, I'll get a little thing of plant seeds that somebody will send me in the mail, just a little thing. Sometimes they implant them in greeting cards, Evan, I don't know if you've seen these now. And they just say tear the greeting card up and plant it in the dirt and just water it, and I do that and a week goes by and two weeks go by and all of a sudden, this tiny little green thing just shoots up out of it. It's like one of the greatest feelings that you can have in life, to know that you're participating in this dance of creation. I don't try to tell anybody else about it. Someone will come out and look at that thing on my patio and say, "What, you got weeds growing in there?" Yeah, exactly.

I have a lot of cactus, and when I go in there in the mornings, every one of them is different. I may have new blooms blooms every morning or something exciting has happened over the nighttime and I can go in in the morning and it's like sitting there looking at me. I get so excited about the way the bloom looks. How is it possible that this little cactus—

This is where you have to stay, Katie. You really have to stay with it. When you said to me, "I would die inside if I wasn't doing this," I remember somebody asked that of Madonna, you know, the singer Madonna? They asked her, "You've made millions and millions of dollars. You're very wealthy. I said, "Why do you continue to put out albums? Why do you keep singing?" I'll never forget what she said. She said, "Because if I didn't do it, I would die inside." So whether it's singing or whether it's your tomatoes or whether it's— for me, it's my writing or my speaking or whatever it is, whoever you are out there, whatever it is that makes your heart sing, stay with that and the universe will take care of the details. The profits are just not that important. I promise you. Okay. Thank you, sweetie.

Thank you so much.

What a lovely call. Thanks. God bless you.

Thanks, Katie. Interesting metaphor there for, for living.

Yes, it really is. That's something, that thing that excites us. And none of us, none of us— everybody has it. So for somebody, it's just throwing a baseball, you know, just getting out there and doing that all day long. For somebody else, it's sitting and drawing. One of my kids would just sit there and draw and draw and draw. Sandra, one of my children would just get— all she could think about was horses. That went in her whole life, all she could. And when she got her horse and she would get on that horse, I mean, her just— her whole, her whole institution as a person, everything about her would shift because of the joy that she felt. She had connected to her source, and that's what we're talking about here.

Well, I can see that this is going to be an interesting hour of calls, Dr. Dyer, because we're going now to Sue in Irvine, California on line 9, and I think she also Sue, welcome to our show.

Hi, Dr. Dyer. I'm such a fan of you. I can't believe I'm talking to you.

Thank you. That's nice to talk to you.

My question is just, I have a son. He's 24 years old, and he's getting his master's degree this year in public policy. But right now he's getting involved with a, you know, hard metal band group. With what? Like a hard metal music group. You know, hard metal. Yes, hard metal. Yes. And then, and you know, Dr. Dyer, this is totally very, very different for us because we are not American. I'm from Middle East and this is so against our culture because, you know, all our children are either like engineers or doctors or always professionals. And then how you, you know how you were saying that if you love someone, you leave them alone. Yeah, we have to learn to love the things—

the things we love, we have to learn to leave alone. Yeah, I mean, and the truth of that is, you know, it's like if you really love something and you try to help it out, get in the way of it— there's a wonderful, um, and I'll get back to the hard metal thing in a moment, but there's a wonderful story. I always remember this from when I was back in graduate school, of, um, they would film these, uh, little baby chickens, uh, that were inside. They could actually see through X-rays. They could you could see them as they were trying to poke their little beaks, you know, against the shell in order to get out, okay, to become born. And they would struggle and struggle and struggle, and it's such a hard little thing because they got these tiny little things inside of this eggshell and they have to break that shell. So that some of the students, what they would do is they would try to help the little bird along by just cracking it a little bit so it would be easier for it. And every single time time, one of the students that were doing this, in their sympathy and in their desire to help this other person, or this little tiny baby chicken, they would— the chicken would die. The thing would— every single time it would die. But the ones that were left alone, the ones that, you know, because the part of the process apparently for being born for a little tiny chicken is that it has to go through that struggle, that real, real, real hard exertion. Is what gives it the strength to be able to break through and to move on. And I think we have to remember, it's a simple little metaphor, but we have to remember it with our own children as well and with everyone else, and especially even a 24-year-old. If he is feeling deeply within him that this kind of heavy metal music is something that is his calling and he's really attracted to it. I think letting him go is, uh, you know, might be the way. Let's come— don't, don't go away. We'll come back to it. Okay. Okay. Well, is it a band that he wants to start?

Yes. Well, no, he is right now in a band. He plays bass there. How's he doing? And, you know, believe it or not, I just saw it once and I couldn't stand it at all. I was like, I was going crazy. I thought, this is not my son.

We're all laughing. What do you think he should be singing? Oh, Solomeo?

No, that was the last program.

We had our opera singer on, right? I do. No, but Doctor, you know, I'm so involved with it because every time I see these movies about these hard metals, they're always involving drugs and alcohol. It's just—

but that's not the case. That's, that's only some of them. I mean, there are some of the— some of the— there are rappers for Jesus that are out there. There are hard metal people who are singing songs that are really attempting wanting to, you know, who are against violence and who hate the wars and so on. I don't know where your son stands on that, but all I know for sure is that if he's in that band and if he's playing it and if he feels that it's something that he has to do and it's not interfering with anybody else's, you know, life and not hurting anyone, then I think giving him your blessing would be probably the best thing that you could do.

But, Doctor, how about the investment we did for him? For so many years for going to school. He could have not— you know what I'm saying? Because he could have done this without even going to school.

But he's only 24. I mean, he's 24 years old. I mean, it doesn't mean that when he's 50 he's going to still be singing in a— but we don't— we really don't know. None of us do, because it isn't up to us to make those kinds of decisions for other people. I mean, you can put a kid into school and you can send their tuitions in and you can have them take all of their courses horses and so on, but inside of them, inside of them beats a drumbeat that is very different than the one that you hear. And for him, I mean, it's something that he— it sounds to me it's like it's something that he has to do.

Does he say that to you? He said his music is his passion. He's right. That's what he always wanted to do. But he went to school, he went through— that's what I'm saying, he's getting his master's degree this year from a very prestigious school. What is your passion? My passion, to be honest with you, for him or for my—

No, no, for you.

Oh, I'm, I'm too old.

I don't have any more passion, doctor.

Oh my goodness, how old are you? I'm 46.

You're 46? Yes. And you've already— you're already too old and you have no passion left?

No, I don't have any more passion. My passion were my children, doctor.

Hmm, well, I would, I would encourage you to understand, you know, what, what Gibran said about your children. Your children are not your children Children, they are the products of life's longing for itself. They come through you but not for you. Your children came through you. They're not yours. And I would suggest to you that you, you probably have a great passion, something that inside of you, you know, is something that you've always wanted to do but you've never quite given yourself permission to do it because you've been so consumed, probably, with being such a wonderful mother and taking care of your children and all that. But now you're getting to a point where you're realizing that you can't make your children become what you think that they should be just because they happen to be biologically related to you. And I would urge you, my dear, urge you very strongly to go within and look at what your own passion might be. And maybe you should go to school and find a course that— find something that just excites you. What is it that excites you more than anything? Is there anything out there like that?

Um, to be honest with you, Dr. Dyer, I never even I go to work every day, I go home and cook for my husband. I have a great relationship with my husband, but I never thought to do anything for myself, just go find my passion, because we were immigrants in this country and we always work and work and work.

But you are a child of God. You are a piece of God, and you came into this world to complete something. There's something that you're here for, and I know that if I had enough time with you, you would be able to spit it out. And there's probably been some kind of a fear in there that if I do this, then I won't be as good a wife and I won't be as good a mother and I won't be as good a homemaker. But the fact is that if you felt that deep sort of commitment to what it is that you are as a human being, what it is that you are, I think— and Summer, I mean, you might even add to that. I mean, you know, you're a mom, you've got a busy home and all of that, but you also have this great passion with this radio show. And how do you bring them both together? Very carefully.

Really, Sue, when I heard you say you were too old for passion, I just— I was shaking my head here, biting my tongue.

Well, I always listen to you every Monday, even though I'm at work right now, but I just have to listen to you. I just— my lunch hour, I take and listen to you. But that's what I'm saying, Doctor. I don't see anything for myself anymore. I'm just looking forward for my children's future. Honestly, I don't see— I think I'm done. I did all I could.

No, you're not, Sue. You're not even close to done. You're just beginning. In fact, the fact that you listen and the fact that you hear this and you hear the kind of things that we speak about and you hear about being inspired and you hear about making a difference in the world— I mean, you know, Mother Teresa didn't even start her work as a nun until she was 55. 55! And she's a saint. I mean, she's 10 years older than you are before she even went into, you know, into her religious training and spent like 40 years making a huge difference in the lives of the whole world. You're hardly even beginning. I would say that to anybody that is out there. Go within, listen, get quiet, watch your children, enjoy them, but find your own passion as well and live that. You're going to find yourself a really happier mother, wife, but most of all your number one relationship in the world shouldn't be to your husband. It shouldn't be to your children. It should be to God, and that is the highest part of yourself. You are a piece of God. Thank you, my dear.

Thank you so much. I love you so much. I love you too.

God bless you. God bless you too.

Thank you. Well, Dr. Dyer, you know, that call was really about Sue. I don't, I don't think it should have been about her son at all.

Well, that's why I shifted it.

Yeah, I agree with you. All right, let us go on.

Heavy metal is great.

Yeah.

All right, Abby from Milford, Delaware. Abby, welcome to our program on Line 5 today.

Hi. Hi, Abby. Oh, I can't believe I'm actually speaking to you. Why not? I'm just such a huge fan. This— I'm just—

okay, I'm shaking like a leaf now.

Where are you located? I'm in Delaware. Delaware. Mm-hmm. I think what you said to that woman about Mother Teresa had inspired her completely. I think it was wonderful.

Most people don't realize that about— she was 55 when she decided to go into the government and do the kind of work that she was doing. Yeah. And look at Nancy Pelosi. Do you know who she is? No, I don't. I mean, she's the— she's the Speaker of the House in the United States. She's the first woman who's ever held— she's the third person in line to the— if the president and vice president were to die, she would be the president of the United States. She raised all 5 of her children and didn't go out into until they were all raised. And now she's, I think she's 64 or 65 years old, and she's out there as the Speaker of the House. I mean, she didn't start it until she was in her 50s. Wow. So there's lots and lots of room for all of us. Yeah, I guess. What is your question, dear?

Well, um, I think what I do is I constantly am thinking about creation and what the whole point in us even being here is, and like how it all began. And like, it's just so mind-boggling, just bends my mind and makes me feel feel so uneasy that I start to just wonder what's the point in anything, what's the point in doing anything. And I'll read books of yours and I'll hear different things that inspire me and make me feel enlightened, and I, for a moment, I'm just like, wow, that's awesome. And I'll think on that, and then the other stuff creeps in again that I'm just like, well, what's the point? And I have doubt just constantly creeping in and It sounds like there's a—

it just sounds, I'm just guessing, but it sounds like there's like this huge fear of death. Is there any—

It's just fear of even being alive. Fear of thinking like, where did— how did God even start to make anything begin? And just all of that, the whole—

I know I was watching—

Wrapping your brain around it is nearly impossible.

There was a story in the New York Times yesterday about what life was like, what the world, what the universe was like at the very beginning, at what they call the Big Bang. Big bang, and I always think, how could there be a beginning? Because you have to say, what was there before the beginning? And, and how could there be an end?

I can't help but be tremendously uneasy when I think about that, and I just want to live and just stick around.

Let's talk about it. So like, in the great big context of things, it just all seems, um, it just seems too big to even get our, you know, wrap our fingers around, doesn't it?

And yet, so it makes me not I cannot stay inspired for long because I just start to doubt and say, "Well, what's the point? I don't even—" Yeah.

The real essence of what we're talking about here is the ability to be able to stay in the moment. Because what we do with the kind of questions that you're asking and the kind of things that we contemplate, like how big is this and how long am I going to be dead and is there life life after life, and where does the universe end, and how could such a thing even begin? And you look out at the billions and billions of stars and realize that there's endless numbers of galaxies with even more stars, and it just goes and goes and goes. If we were to just take off and shoot up into the sky and say, okay, I'll just keep going, and how far will I ever come to the end of the universe, then you'll find out that there can't be an end. I mean, how could there be an end? What would be at the end? A wall? And then you have to ask yourself, well, what's on the other end of the wall? What's on the other side? It's like that endlessness, because who we are— and this is really important— who we are is this paradox of that which began and ended. You know, that's this body of ours. It began in a moment and it ended in a moment. But also internally within us, there's this huge paradox of all of these thoughts and all of this stuff that comes out of nowhere. Comes out like, what is a mind and what is a thought and where does it where does it come from? We can go inside of ourselves and we can find the command center in the brain that allows us to have a thought, but we can never find the commander in the command center that's in there directing us to move our fingers or to go forward or to have this idea. Instead of fighting it and getting worried about it, move yourself always back into this moment. Say to yourself, "Here, now, this is all that I have." I have, and whatever I can do to make it a better place for myself and for others, that's got to be enough. That seems to me what God does. You know?

I try, I do that often, and I'll get myself back in the moment and I'll say, "Okay, I don't need to know. I don't have to wrap my brain around all that. I can just be like I feel like everybody else is just living and just being, and there's just me, little old me sitting here questioning it all." No, no, little old me does the same thing. And I can't, it just feels like It paralyzes me. Like, I just—

oh, well, that's the thing it doesn't do for me. It doesn't paralyze me because sometimes I remember— I always tell the story when I was a little boy, I was living in an orphanage and I was about 7 years old, and my— the lady whose house that we lived in, her name was Mrs. Scarf, she came out and she handed my brother David and I— we were sitting on the back steps— a banana. And we each— I peeled the banana and she said— and she was sobbing— and she said, Mr. Scarf, that He died this morning. Now I had never heard the word death before when it related to a person. I'd heard it about chickens because we used to kill chickens, and I'd seen dead bugs and things, but I had never ever thought of the idea of people as dying. And I remember asking her, when will he be back? And she said, never. Now I went upstairs, and I lived on a bunk bed. I slept on a bunk bed. There were 6 of us that slept in this room, and I slept on the very top. And I laid there peeling, eating that banana. I could remember this like it was yesterday. Yesterday, trying to contemplate the concept of never, of never coming back. Just like it was the— and it's like, so I'd think, well, what if it was 100 years? Well, what if it was a million years? What if it— but never. And it was like, it was so paralyzing and so difficult for me that I had to immediately shift my thoughts off of it. It was just too much to even begin to contemplate. And there's a— that whole thing about the oneness of the universe, about what God must be like, about what it it must be to be in a universe which never ends, which is— that is something that you are going to know. You're going to know that. I believe that because I listen to Abraham, and I really believe that Abraham is one of the great teachers on the planet today, the teachings of Esther and Jerry Hicks, that that moment when you leave this world of form and beginnings and ends and boundaries, and when you leave that and enter into that oneness, that space where all things are and that there's no beginnings, there's no ends, there's nothing for us to fear, you're going to know the greatest bliss that you've ever had. Why not work at doing that now? And if we're wrong, we're wrong.

And so that's how you've shifted from when you said as a boy the thought paralyzed you and now it doesn't. Yeah, it does.

It's so incomprehensible for us who believe that we did begin in that there is all of this. It's so incomprehensible for us because we're so connected to our ego, which is the part of us that believes we are this body, we are separate from everybody else, we are what we have, we are, you know, we are what we look like, we are whatever it is. And to get past that— and that's basically what my life work is, is really about teaching people to get past that and to be at peace with the great oneness. And then that great fear of death and that great fear that, that it doesn't all fit together that it will leave us. That's all I can say about it. I mean, we could go on and on about it, but it's like—

to me— So what are some things I could do to get at that peace?

Always shift back into this moment and say, "How can I be at peace now?" What is it that I— instead of using that great unknown as something to be afraid of, use that great unknown as something that you anticipate and that that you're excited about and you have no fear about. Because every being who's ever been on this planet, every being, all the billions and billions of us, we all return. As the Tao said, the Tao, the way of Tao, is a return trip. We are on our way back to the place from which we originated. Why not make that return trip without having to die and enjoy every moment that we have?

Okay. Okay, thank you. Well, you're very inspiring and I just love your work. And I'm always telling people about your books and trying to spread your knowledge.

Oh, well, thank you so much. That's fascinating stuff, what you talked about. And to think that it's just little old you that is contemplating all of these things and wondering and all of that. It's not little old you. Every single one of us has this great desire to be connected to that thing from which we all came to, which we know is greater than we are. There is something to which all of us are connected that is greater than we are. And if we could just trust in it and just have faith in it, it'll bring us a lot more peace.

And one more thing, I know I'm taking up a lot of time, but, um, I just got your Getting in the Gap book and CD. Would that help me? Oh, absolutely.

I was going to recommend that, as a matter of fact, that you, that you look at and do that meditation that's in that CD at the end of that book. It's called japa, where you just repeat the sound of the name of God and watch the peacefulness come over you. Watch and just sort of become the observer to how much joy and peace there is in those kinds of contemplative moments in which you make conscious contact with God. Okay. Okay, sweetheart.

God bless you. Okay, continue doing that. Thank you. God bless you.

Thank you. Thanks for your call, Abby. Well, Dr. Dyer, we've only got a few minutes. Do you want to try taking one more person? Yeah, let's take one more. How about Kim? She's been holding on from Haliburton, Ontario, Canada. Kim? Hi there. Hi, Kimberly.

Come on in.

Hi, thank you so much for taking my call. Paul.

Yeah, thank you. How are you, my dear?

I'm good.

It's a little chilly up here, but, uh, yes, I heard.

Yeah, a lot of snow. Yeah. Um, my question, actually, I'll try to get to it quickly. Um, my husband and I are going to be moving in with his parents. I wondered how I can sort of maintain my spiritual balance. The peace that you—

because we only have a minute or so— the peace that you want for yourself, okay? The joy, the peace, the happiness, the fulfillment, the, the just the sense of serenity that you desire for yourself Want it more for them than you do for yourself, and you'll live in peace with them. Wow. Okay, want it more for them, whoever they are. They're much older, they've got whatever, but just as you think about what I want, what do I want? I want to be peaceful. I want to be able to live with these people happily. I want to be able to, you know, want that more for them. Every time you have this thing about me, shift it to them and just watch, and just watch how much how much joy you'll receive in being able to serve these older people rather than thinking about how they're interfering or how they're not the same as you or how they're from a different generation. Let all of that go. Reach out, surround them with the kind of loving energy, and say, what can I do to give them the peace that I desire so much?

I love them very much, but yeah, you know, um, I, I want to take care of them. I want to, to help them. You know, I just wanted to— like you were talking about at the beginning of the show, how do you maintain and stay out of people's business?

And that kind of It's a great— it's a, you know, it— you, you've been given a gift, the ability to serve other people, the ability to serve, because that's what God realization is. God is doing nothing. The source is doing nothing but always providing, always giving, always making available to us the endless abundance and prosperity and joy and peace and happiness that's available to all of us. By doing that, by just continuously doing that, you'll, you'll forget all about yourself and just say It's my turn to serve. My dear friend Ram Dass, who lives over here on Maui with me, said that the last year of his life when he took care of his father and he had to put him on the toilet and he had to wipe him and he had to lift him off and he had to— he said it was the greatest year of his life. He learned more from that than any other experience. Oh, absolutely.

They are our teachers for sure.

Yeah, absolutely. Thank you. God bless you.

Thank you so much for your call.

And Dr. Dyer, until next week.

Thank you, my dear. Okay, take care. Another good day here on Dr. Wayne Dyer's Inspiration.

For some more incredible Wayne Dyer videos, check it out right there next to me. I think you'll love them.

Continue to believe, and I'll see you there.

How are you today, Dr. Dyer? I'm great, couldn't be better. Just got out of the ocean. It was a really beautiful swim today. Mm-hmm.

I'm feeling really good too because I just watched your movie last night. That was my Sunday night popcorn movie.