How to Live with Purpose and Love | Dr. Wayne Dyer's Advice in 3.5 Hours
Dr. Wayne Dyer takes calls for 3.5 hours on finding purpose and inner peace. He tells callers they're children of God with unique gifts, shares how Mother Teresa and Ram Dass found meaning through service, and teaches a meditation chant called japa to stay present instead of fearing death.
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You can't let fear control your life if you want to create something extraordinary. Whether you're navigating personal challenges or pursuing big dreams, the way forward is always through action aligned with love and purpose. Playing it small may feel safe, but it's a guarantee that you'll never tap into the full potential of your life. In this radio show, Dr. Wayne Dyer shares transformative insights on overcoming fear, serving others, and staying aligned with your higher self. Reminds us that greatness isn't found in comfort zones, but in stepping into the unknown with courage. From heartfelt calls about addiction, relationships, and big life decisions, Dr. Dyer emphasizes that the universe supports those who act in service and with faith. Life isn't about avoiding struggles; it's about using them as stepping stones to a bigger, more aligned version of yourself. So make the choice today to embrace the unknown and live with purpose. Because your greatness is waiting on the other side of your fear. Special thanks to our partners at Hay House for giving us this content exclusively on our YouTube channel. To see more great content on their channel, check out the description below.
Dr. Dyer is joining us from Maui. Lots of exciting things to talk about today. You just got back from the Middle East, from Abu Dhabi. I can't wait to hear about that. Must have been exciting.
Yeah, Abu Dhabi and Dubai, it was, um, it It was a wonderful experience, very interesting place. I'll bet.
Did you ride a camel?
I did not. I've done that before.
They're not very nice, are they?
I forgot to wear a very strong support system under the clothes. I had been warned about it, said no big deal, and I had a very high voice for about a month after that. But my daughter did.
The people must have been amazing.
The most impressive thing I did is I went to a falcon hospital. I don't know if you know of the significance of falcons in that part of the world.
No, falconry though is popular.
It would be a bird that would, could literally, one falcon could feed an entire tribe of people. These were all Bedouins at one time, people who moved about and sort of gypsy-like. A trained falcon would be a bird that could go out and kill a prey and then they're taught not to eat the prey that they kill. They just give them a little piece of meat as a reward, and they could take a rabbit, they can kill actually a gazelle, I mean, one falcon. And they're amazing, amazing, amazing birds. So I spent 2.5 hours in a falcon hospital with a woman who, when she was 5 years old, just decided that this was what her life was going to be. She saw one, and so they have a place where people bring their falcons from all over the world. I actually participated in a surgery and a feeding of the falcon on my arm. Spotted a small quail and it was just a fascinating day.
Wow, that's pretty amazing.
Yeah, it was. It's the only falcon hospital like it in the world.
What were the people like?
There were no people, it was only falcons.
No, I mean people in Abu Dhabi.
No, there were no people, it was all falcons. It's a whole city of falcons. Now the people were very wonderful. This is a very interesting country. Oil was discovered there in the Emirates about the 1960s, and it was also discovered in Libya and Nigeria at about the same time, these huge, huge oil fields. And so this person there, his name was Sheikh Zayed, had this amazing vision about his country. And so his inner mantra was always, how may I serve? What can I do for my people? And when the money started rolling in for this huge, huge oil deposits that they had there, the first thing he did is built a road. That went from the oil fields into the city. Then he convinced the people to stop traveling about and to settle down into agriculture, and the money would be used to support the families and to build hospitals and to build schools and to, you know, educate the people and so on. And this country is only 41 years old, the UAE, the United Arab Emirates, and it's one of the most successful countries in the world. Very few people even lock their doors, very little crime, people very tolerant, religiously tolerant. So we have so many views about the Muslim world and so on, and these are about the most open-minded and kindest people, open to all cultures and so on. We pay so much attention to the fringe elements in these various religions and think that it speaks for all of them, but these are beautiful, peace-loving, loving people. I met with the royal family there. I gave two lectures. We had a very, very large turnout, largest turnout that they've ever had. By the way, oil was discovered in Libya and Nigeria at exactly the same time. That's when their oil wealth came. But the people who had the vision for their country didn't have the same vision that Che Guevara had. They put their money into military, into herding it away. And so today, Libya and Nigeria are two of the— you know, the people themselves are very, very poor, not doing well at all. And the very upper, upper classes, of course, of course have all the money and they invested so much of it in jet planes and missiles and things like this. That's not a part of where we were at all. It's like, it's just very interesting what your inner vision is. Not only do I speak so much about your inner vision of your highest self, which is instead of what's in it for me, how much can I have, it's on how may I serve, what may I do for others, which is the inner mantra of your highest self. We're here to serve each other. And to love each other and to love God. And this is a man who practiced that. He's highly, highly revered over there as a saint, as like a prophet. Whereas these other countries have gone exactly the opposite direction. And it just shows you what, you know, individually, when we have a vision for ourself that's about serving, that the universe will provide and offer us opportunities. And now, you know, Dubai is the largest city over there, and it's, you know, it has more visitors per year than New York or London does. The skyscrapers over there, there's many of them. It's a very, very large city, all from the vision of this one man. But they're all brand new, so it's like looking at New York City with buildings that were built in the last 30 or 40 years. And it's an amazing, amazing place. We were treated— my two daughters went with me. I gave two lectures, one in the morning and one in the evening, open to the public. And it was very, very well received. It was an opportunity for me to get out of my own comfort zone and to immerse myself in another culture and to see that basically we all want the same things. There were people lined up around the block there wanting me to sign their books and so on in another part of the world.
Wow, that's amazing.
Yeah, it was a grand experience. Treated very, very nicely.
And what a great message though to see for yourself, you know, like what you just said. Everybody wants the same thing. We all want abundance and prosperity. Prosperity and, you know, to be happy and the best for our children. And, you know, we really are the same.
Yeah. And the fact that, well, you know, dressing a little bit different or having different customs and so on, none of it made any difference. Zayed made it really clear when they started this country that there would be total religious tolerance, or anybody could practice any religion that they wanted. There wasn't something that was going to be imposed on them. And so it was this openness and this kindness and and this gentleness and this man is— he passed away in 2004, but it was his vision that created this oasis in the middle of the Middle East where there's so much conflict and so much hatred and so on. This is just a very beautiful place, a very kind place. There's almost no crime at all. There's very, very little of it, even though it's a large city. Of course there is some. But if you get caught stealing in Abu Dhabi, it's automatic 4 years in prison, and the day you're out, you're deported. The citizens of Dubai, of Abu Dhabi, which is the capital— Dubai is the largest city. Dubai would be like being like New York City, and Abu Dhabi is like Washington, D.C. That's the political capital.
It's 88% immigrants.
Only 12% of the population are people who were born there and are from that part of the world. And there is a very great respect for the law, for cleanliness.
for kindness.
Uh, you saw it everywhere we went. It was just a wonderful, wonderful experience of, uh, we all can figure out a way to live together on this planet and, um, and still wear different clothes and have different languages and have different spiritual preferences. Um, but inside there's a oneness, and that was what my talk was about.
So you didn't talk about, uh, Divine Love or that program? You did something new?
I did talk about Divine Love. I talked about it as something that's in every single one of us.
What an experience. So beautiful.
Yeah.
So today is kind of an interesting day as well. You know, it would have been George Harrison's 70th birthday.
Oh, really?
I'm a Beatles fan, and I had to throw that out because I just always loved George Harrison. And I saw a documentary about him not too long ago, and if people get a chance to see it, they should see it. Yeah, I guess his—
I met his sister, his older sister. 2 or 3 times over the years. Very, very nice woman. She's quite a bit older than George.
Maybe I'll get to see his place when I come out there. But I always loved his song, "All Things Must Pass." I always thought that was such a great message.
Yeah, their music was just unbelievable. He was turning 70 today.
He would have, yeah. But just to kind of think of his songs, and he always spoke about peace, and he was actually one of the first big musicians to have a big concert. When he did that concert for Bangladesh back in the '70s, you know, they had never really done that to raise money, you know, for a cause. And he was able to raise a lot of money for something that he really cared about. And just a very spiritual guy.
Yeah, they did. They were all like that. I mean, they really did do an awful lot of wonderful things and have us look at our own minds.
And again, getting out of these comfort zones that we're in, where we see things all the same way.
I remember when they began to get into meditation, with Maharishi and, uh, and so on, right?
And George— that was something George did his whole life.
He was a meditator, right? Deepak knew George very, very well. Um, Deepak Chopra and I, we, we traveled a lot around the world together. We've done a lot of programs together. In fact, we'll be in Australia together in Melbourne this August. We're doing a concert together.
Oh, that's great.
But he was very, very close with George. I remember how upset he was and sad he was.
So were you a Beatles fan?
I wasn't a fan, but I was never a fan of much in life. I liked their music, but I, I was in my 20s when the Beatles, uh, were very popular, and, um, I spent my 20s studying. So I mean, I was just in books all the time. I was either working, I had two concerts, I had two full-time jobs, and I had, uh, so I even— and I never had the radio on because I just couldn't I never even went into the bathroom without taking one of the books that I had to read. I was majoring in things like English literature, and they'd give me a book like An American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser, and they'd say, read this by the weekend. It was like 800 pages, you know, it's like, and that was just one book in one class. And so I just, I don't remember sleeping during the '60s, uh, and I don't remember much of anything other than just being, you know, taking exams and, uh, and studying for the next one. That seems to be how I spent.
I spent 8 years.
That's how you spent the '60s. That's interesting.
I spent, I did, I spent the whole '60s doing it. And even, even summer. So I mean, I went winter, spring, summer, or fall.
Well, you missed out on some fun stuff.
Be there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got a friend. I didn't, I didn't know too much about music in those days, but I remember when they came over, I remember them being on the Ed Sullivan Show. I don't know if you remember that.
Oh no, I don't remember that exact incident, but I know that they were on the Ed Sullivan Show.
I saw that. Oh, and there was— they were so— and the girls, oh my God, the girls would scream and just— they were, you know, they were so taken. And so many people just thought, oh well, this is just a passing fancy.
These are just, you know, 4 little kids from Liverpool.
They were just icons, you know.
I just always loved his music.
Please me when I'm 64.
It's great, great stuff.
I often tell that story of the Beatles when they, uh, when I turned 64, on my 64th birthday, I was in Durham, North North Carolina, I was giving a lecture and my kids, all 8 of them, got together and they sent me a box. And I opened it up, it was a FedEx delivery, and then I opened the box up and there was a cassette recorder in there and with a button on it that said push. And I pushed play and the song was, uh, Will You Still Want Me, Will You Still Need Me, Will You When I'm 64. And they said, and inside of this box, Dad, there's a very special message for you. There's a card here. So I opened up this card for my 64th birthday, and it said, uh, Dad, inside this card is a very special message from God. And I thought, wow, I've really reached— I'm reaching these kids finally. It's taken me a long time, but I'm reaching. I opened up them, and the message said, see you soon.
Happy birthday.
That's a good one.
Yeah, you think it's funny too. You're one of those kind of kids.
Oh, that's great. I'm sure they meant it, you know, yeah, a nice way.
They did.
See you soon. How funny.
Well, we have some, uh, great callers up here on the board.
Okay, well, I'm on—
by the way, if I sound a little weird today, I'm, uh, it was— it's a 31-hour flight from, um, from Dubai to my— wow, 31 hours from the time I left the hotel in, uh, in Dubai to when I arrived here. Well, but the way you handle a long trip like that is, uh, is to realize that every one of those 31 hours has to be lived. So just live each one of them fully wherever you are. Appreciate it and don't be thinking about how long it's going to be and how tired you're going to be at the end. And, you know, detach yourself from the outcome and just, just enjoy the journey.
It's like the—
it's the philosophy of life and it's the philosophy of when you have to take a long trip and sit on an airplane. Now I do admit it's a little bit easier for me since I was flying first class.
Makes a difference.
Yes, and have my little duvet and put my pajamas on and then watch movies. But whatever it is that you do, you know, just instead of thinking about how hard it's going to be and how much you have to do in order to get to the end of it, just enjoy every moment of it.
Every moment.
It's the most important lesson in life. So I had a wonderful trip home. I still go to bed when I'm normally getting up and vice versa. But, uh, Other than that, it's fine.
You sound a little bit tired, but not too bad.
I've got something in my throat.
I'm gonna, I've got a cough button on here, but I never know quite how to find it. So go ahead.
Well, let's, we'll grab a call and you can mic mute. Yeah. All right.
Okay.
Let's go to Atlanta. So Florence, thanks for holding. You're on with Dr. Dyer.
Oh, thank you so much for taking my call. I'm so happy. I really need the advice of Dr. Dyer. I have a, difficulty with one, uh, with a professor. I decided to go back to graduate school in the US the last semester, and it happened that this semester I really wanted to take, um, the class with this professor. But basically, when I saw the syllabus, I decided not to take it anymore. And since then, he's been really— well, I dropped his class, and, um, He's been ignoring me now when he sees me, and I suspect that he just spread, like, gossip about me because when I wanted to apologize, he didn't respond to my email, but he emailed the registrar to tell them that I was not attending his class, and they got back to me and I could be in trouble for that, but I explained that I dropped his class, so I'm not in trouble. And I want to talk to him, but it feels like he just doesn't want to have anything to do with me, and he holds this grudge, and it could cause me trouble, actually. So I don't know what to do, and I wonder if I should just show up at his office hours even though he seems like he doesn't want to speak to me. I don't know how to handle the situation, really, because I've never been in such a situation, and I just don't know how can someone be so upset because I dropped a course.
I mean—
I know it's important for them and I understand, but let me respond.
Let me respond. I had an agent and a friend who passed away a few years back. His name was Arthur Pine in New York City. And Artie used to say to me all the time, Wayne, you know, whenever I would present a problem like you just presented, he would say, I'm an old man and I've had many troubles, most of which have never happened. So most of the troubles that you are experiencing about this are never going to happen, haven't happened, and likely are never going to materialize in your life. You're creating this drama inside of you about, uh, you did something that's perfectly legitimate. It happens every single day in higher education. I know, I was a professor for many, many years. People drop classes for any number of reasons. It's, to me, it's very unlikely, although I don't know all the details, it's very unlikely that he interprets your dropping the class as some kind of a criticism of him or something that about him, unless you had a personal relationship with him, which it doesn't sound like.
Yes, yes, yes. What, yes, what happened? I didn't tell you the whole story. There Just a little bit of background is that he was heavily flirting with me during the semester, and then there is this, and I've been ignoring him a little bit. But I mean, we didn't have an affair or something, but there was tension between us. That's why I think there's something going on, and he just refused to talk to me because I've been ignoring him. Well, it's just complicated, but the thing is now What do I do with this?
Well, because he— you're concerned, you're concerned about this because he's still in the department and he could cause problems for you later on. Is that your big concern?
Yeah.
And what's bothering me is that he emailed the registrar to say that I was not attending the class as if it was a problem, but I dropped the class. So, but just—
well, he probably, he would—
the only reason he would send that kind of a message to the registrar is because he didn't know that you had dropped. So, because obviously he knew you dropped the class.
Well, he didn't get it.
He, he, I'm sorry, I emailed him that I dropped the class, so he knew perfectly. I mean, this thing happened, um, when I dropped the class, it happened a month ago, and it's just because I saw him last Thursday and I ignored him, and then I emailed him because I wanted to apologize. And today he sent an email to the registrar, like, telling them that I'm not attending class and whether I dropped the class last month. That's why it's bothering me.
Yeah, I wouldn't let this bother me at all. Okay, there's many ways you can handle it. The most important way to handle it is just to let it go, because he, uh, you haven't done anything wrong. You've dropped a class. The likelihood of him causing you any problems in the future is very, very small, unless there was more to this little flirtatious thing than you're letting on. But, uh, we'll just assume that, uh, you know, that, that, uh, it was nothing more than just the way you described it. So a second thing to do is maybe just to send him an email or send him a card and say something very simple, very direct, which is, dear Dr. So-and-so, I really was looking forward to taking the class this semester. Unfortunately, you know, other personal things came up and my schedule was overly full, and I was required to drop this class. I look forward to having a class with you in the future. Kindest regards.
Sign your name.
And you're done with it. You've done an honorable thing and you've eliminated any possibility of any conflict. It's very, very simple.
You just deal with it directly.
Basically, the way I would deal with it directly would be I would just, I would just completely ignore it and I wouldn't worry about it. But it sounds to me like you are concerned about what his, his role is going to be in the future with you in this, in the program that you're in.
Yeah, but okay, so there's no need to go and speak to him and try and speak to him.
Actually, you could if you want to, but if you've got that little— there's this male-female thing going on in there, and I know, you know, that might create some discomfort for you.
Did you have any interest in seeing him or going out with him or anything like that?
Well, yeah, but, uh, he— it took him 3 months to— he hide for 3 months that he was married with 2 kids.
Uh-huh.
Oh, okay.
So I think that's what you— then if he's married with two kids but you were interested, then I think that the way to handle it is what I just said to you. Send them a note. Send them a very formal note that just says, I understand that there was a message sent to the registrar because I wasn't attending classes. I was required to drop this class because of— and just give them the reason, whatever reason it was that you dropped the class. And I look forward to working with you in the future.
God bless you. Um, Namaste.
That's it. You're done. It's over. I wouldn't try to have a conversation because your heart's involved with this one as well.
You know, there's a—
it sounds to me like sometimes it's important to just see the other person's reaction, but maybe you're right. Maybe an email is probably more neutral, I guess.
Yeah.
I feel that you still want to— you still would like to have some kind of a relationship with him.
But, um, yeah, but maybe like, um, a professional relationship.
No, no, I think that you would like—
I think you would like it to—
I think you were disappointed when he got married, or when you realized that he was married and had children.
And, um, oh yeah, yeah, I was absolutely. But I was very disappointed that he just hide this information for like 3 months. Yeah, yeah, that's what disappointed me the most.
Just keep it, keep it straight, keep it, and then, and let the other part of it go.
This is a married man, it's trouble.
With a capital T. Absolutely.
I know, I know.
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
Gotta go. I just got a notice that we got 1 minute to go. God bless you.
Thank you for your help today. Thank you.
You're welcome, dear.
God bless you.
She had built that all up to a big thing, and you just solved the problem.
It's all taken care of.
It's all, all good.
It's the heart, though.
There's love in there.
Let's go to Suzanne in New Jersey. She's calling from Oakland, New Jersey on line 2. And welcome, Suzanne. You're on with Dr. Dyer.
Hello, Howie. How are you?
I'm great. Aloha to you too, my dear.
Hi.
So I'm here with my sister. Tomorrow's her 32nd birthday and 1 year sobriety for her. So everybody, congratulations to her. And she actually— I lived in Hawaii for 6 years and I was going to nursing school and I had some problems getting the classes I need. Then like there was a fire in the house I was living. I fell and got stitches. It was really crazy. So then my only option was to apply to Maui. Then I ended up failing some tests I needed, and now I live in New Jersey and at my parents' house, and I've been trying to do nursing school for a while. There's always been something. And anyway, I called the admissions person in Maui, and she was really helpful, and she figured out a way that I can apply, like, by the deadline because my problem is my algebra class was 10 years old, so they wouldn't let me apply without retaking it. But she told me that if I register April 8th for math, then if I— then I can come and take a placement test, and then if I pass it, then I can drop it and then go for next January. But, um, I'm a little nervous because kind of things are really crazy for me in the Big Island when I left, and I've been— it was really a hard adjustment for me to come back to New Jersey and getting along with my family, and I kind of have some good things going for me now, but it's kind of like I have to do the schooling now because then if I don't go next year, then my microbiology is going to expire, my chemistry. So it's like, right, it's like I have to— yeah, yeah, it's like I have to go. So like I've been Let me ask you this before you go any further.
How important to your own self-esteem and how you feel about yourself, Suzanne, and all of that, is, uh, getting yourself this professional degree of, uh, getting yourself an RN degree?
It's really important.
Then you've got to do it. Yeah, I mean, it's because it's, it's your, uh, I call it your excitement, you know. There's something inside of you that says, you know, I really want to prove to myself that I can do this. I have a very dear friend there, her name is Carrie. She just, she went through the, um, the nursing program on Maui, and it's, uh, it's not an easy program. I mean, I can remember how hard she worked, and I was helping to support her through the whole thing, especially emotionally, you know, with all of the, the, uh, just, it's just the, you just get immersed. It's almost like going to medical school in 2 years. I mean, one week you're studying the heart, the next week you're studying the lungs, the next week you're studying the brain, and And there's these big exams and so on. But, um, and I would always say to her, what is your goal? And she would say, well, it's just to get the RN and to get that degree. I just have to be able to prove to myself that I could make it as a professional woman.
And, uh, it was one of the most important things that she ever did.
So I, I don't minimize the importance of that. And, um, I think that, I mean, the, if the idea is that you have to do it and if you don't do it, you're going to be a failure, then I think we would be talking about something else.
No, it's just like, it seems kind of weird because in the past I've tried to like push myself to make things happen. And then like this time it seems like it's like kind of like unfolding. So I think I'm really on the right path, but I'm just kind of feel like I have to put a little jigsaw together and I'm not in Hawaii. And like, so it's hard because the time difference, like just I have to, you know, figure out—
it's not hard. It's just, it's just minor little— these are just little obstacles that are just there. They're there for you to see whether or not you really are serious about whether you want to do this thing or not. And you just, you don't even make them hard. You just say whatever it is that's necessary. The weird part, I think, is having to take algebra again. I mean, yeah, you know, it's like, but when you try to figure out the rules and why the rules are there, it never makes any sense. Almost none of that makes any sense, you know. So, so don't try to make sense out of having to do algebra because the likelihood of you ever using algebra as a nurse in your life is almost zero, you know. Um, I know I remember when I took algebra and I just, it was just one of those things that I just struggled so much with X's. And if you gave me numbers and said this is arithmetic and you subtract and you add fractions, all of that was very simple to me. But X's and Y's and parentheses and this side and that side of the equation and all of that. And they used to say to me, I used to say, what, why do I take this?
What's the importance?
And they said to me, the teachers would always say someday, someday. Someday you'll understand. And so now I'm 72 and I got it figured out. You take algebra so that it gives jobs to algebra teachers. That's the only justification I can see for having done that. It gave them an opportunity to work. Anyway, I would just— I'm mostly excited about your call about your sister's one year of sobriety.
Yes, you want to talk to her? She— I was talking to her. On our hike and she said, why don't you ask Wayne Dyer about it? And then I went on my iPhone and checked the Hey Howzit show, so here she is right now. Here.
Hi.
Hello, Wayne.
Hi, who is this?
Hi, my name's Elise.
Hi, Elise.
And you are one year sober today?
Um, it actually will be March 1st.
March 1st?
Yeah, and I'm turning, um, 32 on Tomorrow.
And what made you make that decision to just be, uh, to be, uh, what did you give up? Was it alcohol? Was it drugs?
Yeah, yeah, it was alcoholism. And, um, it really was something— I had other difficult challenges in my life, but I didn't really realize what alcoholism was all about and the stigma attached to it. And I— when I was 27, I hit my head really hard and had a— almost died, actually, and, um, split my head open. And so I knew to stop drinking, and I didn't know exactly where or how to get the help. And it— in a way, I realized that it really helped me find my faith that was lost and my spirituality.
Absolutely.
Listen, my dear, if you can do this, if you can take something as addictive as alcohol is, especially for someone who, who, uh, has alcoholic tendencies, you know, um, and I'm, and I'm one of them as well because I, I haven't had a drink in 25 years.
Oh wow, one day at a time, right?
One day. Yeah, journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. And it's not thinking big, it's thinking small. It really is thinking small. It's just thinking today, which you are on top of. But the thing to be alert about is that, you know, at any time in the future, if you decide to go back to it, you'll be back at the same level you were the day that you stopped. I mean, it doesn't—
Yeah, it's a progressive illness. And like, but the thing too, what really was hard for me was my sister was talking to you about her stuff, but I actually had like abdominal epilepsy and a lot of like traumatic issues in the past, like a bad car accident. And all these traumas. And I was a pretty good student, and I went to like Cornell University and things, but I never finished college. And it's been like 10 years of my life, a complete haze and a lot of wreckage and a lot of damage. But I've been going through the steps, and I have a sponsor, Jane. I have a sponsor, and I'm working with her, and it's this process of reflection, and it's a lot of work, but it's hard because you can't really tell somebody like Oh, I'm working on this thing, you know, like, but it's—
yeah, you don't have to make any— you don't have to make an announcement about it. The only time I make an announcement about it is when we're— when I'm lecturing about it, when we're talking about it. But, uh, but otherwise I don't go around and just use it as a calling card, you know, I'm an alcoholic, because I'm not.
I never know. But it was like hard for me to kind of say to myself, like, you know, this is one of the hardest things, and to trust in something bigger than myself and to find that experience in it.
But you know what I would wager? I'll wager that as much as you say how hard it was, I'll bet it's one of the easiest things you've ever done because what you've done is you've reconnected yourself to your source, to God. I know!
I've been like, wow, seeing through clear eyes.
Right. The haze is gone.
Just the simple things. I was so happy. I was so, so, so happy because And the next thing would be to be the service. Always wanted to be somebody that could like give back. This is something that, you know, through what you said to me, transforming it, like transforming something that was painful so that someone else doesn't have to go through that. And not really like that, but I think there's a lot of misunderstanding about it and it's an allergy and a lot of it was things I could have changed. And things I couldn't have changed and the wisdom to know the difference. But, um, it's a healing process and I'm just so happy.
So thank you.
And like, my family, like, I just feel so grateful to wake up and not have to drink today. And like, isn't that wonderful?
What a wonderful call. That is a miracle. It's a wonderful— and I, I will celebrate you on March 1st and make sure that you take this new awareness that you have and help somebody, help somebody else with it.
That's great.
Joy to the world, right?
You've helped me a lot.
And allow, not try.
Absolutely. God bless you, dear.
All right.
God bless you too.
Thank you.
Bye-bye.
I love that.
That's great. And you can just hear how much happier—
Can you hear the excitement? Yeah.
She sounds—
Yeah, that's great. And she used the word that was very interesting. She said, I was in a haze. I was like in a fog. And that's what happens with drugs and alcohol is that you don't— And even in nursing homes and things like that, that one of the ways that we control people as they get older or the way we control young children who you know, who may be very—
a little bit exuberant.
We put a label on them and we call them ADD, or we, you know, something like that. And then we give them a drug and we just give them this, this to take, and then we think that we've solved the problem.
But what we've done is just put people into a fog and they no longer can be themselves. It's why when I quit drinking, I didn't quit drinking because I was an alcoholic.
I've never called myself an alcoholic.
I quit drinking because I had a teacher tell me very profound and important teacher tell me that if you want to reach your maximum potentiality for who you are and what you came here to be, you can't do that if you're putting something into your body every day that destroys brain cells, because that's the only thing you have to process with. And it was a very simple decision. I just said, okay, then that's it.
I don't want to do—
I want to—
I really do want to live.
Abraham Maslow once said to us that a self-actualized person must be what they can be. It isn't like somebody else is imposing this must on them.
Albert always called that musturbating.
You know, I must do this, I must do that because, you know, it's because the world is telling me I have to do that. But Maslow said it's an inner thing.
It's like it's a—
there's a sense of almost like a divine mission, a burning desire.
This whole idea that if I know that I can do it—
for example, for me, it was like I was a runner my whole life, but the idea of running a marathon You know, was this like to run 26 miles without stopping? It wasn't important for anybody else, and so very other people that I know ever did it. But for me, I wanted to just be able to— I must be able to see if I can do that. And those little kind of inner kind of challenges are what self-actualizing people do on a regular basis. And that was what was important for me, to be able to maximize who I am. Rather than minimize it by trying to do it with fewer brain cells every day.
Right, that's true. And then that other, the saying from Marianne Williamson, you know, we're always afraid of being our higher self, being big. You know, we're afraid of being as big as we can.
Right, we play it small instead of playing it big.
We do.
That's a great call.
And when someone has overcome, it's like I get people, I'll meet people out on the road someplace wherever I go in the world. And they'll almost break down sobbing. They're so grateful to me, and they look in my eyes and they're shaking, they're so appreciative. And they say, it's like, you're my rock star, you know, this is like meeting Elvis, or like meeting, you know, whomever, whoever would be a great big— but for a person who has lived in the haze, in the fog, and is now out of it and is like seeing life clearly, anybody who assisted them out of that fog is considered to be like a superstar, a rock star. It's not someone who plays a role or sings a song well or whatever. It's like, you brought me out of the fire. And that's why I think so many people show such excessive gratitude and appreciation when they meet me.
They really believe that it's me, but it wasn't me at all. It was just these words that came through me that they used and did something with it.
So I could hear it in her voice, this whole idea of, my goodness, I'm out of the haze, I'm out of that. You know, if you don't see clearly for a long, long time and then all of a sudden it starts to clear up, food starts tasting different. It's like when you quit smoking. I don't know if you ever smoked or not, Diane, but I did.
Yeah, so it's like, you know how food tastes after, you know, and I can't even imagine smoking a cigarette. Yeah, right.
Yeah, not anymore. But I remember back in the day in the, in the studio, you know, all the DJs smoked. It was easy to do, you know. And when you're working crazy hours and doing the overnight shift, and that's what kept you awake, you know.
So when you overcome an addiction, and it's like anybody out there listening, I mean, even though I didn't take a call in the last 5 minutes, this might be the most important moment of your life. Somebody out there, several of you out there, you know, there is, you know, that you have some secret addiction, some kind of closet thing. That is going on in your life, whether it's with a drug or whether it's with food or whether even with a person or gambling or whatever it is, something that seems to be moving, moving the pieces of your life around. And you can do exactly what that lady just said from New Jersey, Suzanne's sister.
I didn't get her exactly her first name. And just say, today I'm gonna, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna just do it today.
That's how I just started.
To stop drinking.
I just said, just, just today, I'll just go a day without, because I hadn't, I hadn't gone probably 10 years without drinking a couple of beers in the evening after running.
And I just said, I'll just do one day. That's if he said it's going to destroy brain cells.
And, um, that was it. And then when I had my ex—
and then I went to an alcohol-free beer.
And then when I had my experience with John of God, it'll be 3 years in, in April now, or 2 years, it'll be 2 years this year.
And my mother's sitting there be her 97th birthday. It would have been. The idea of being able to be in this place like totally freely with John of God. When I came out and I looked at—
I had alcohol-free beer, which I'd had one or two.
I would have just have that in with my meal instead of alcohol.
And I looked at it and I never had another one after that experience. I never had another one.
And, and I kept one in the refrigerator, and I have it.
And still, if you want to call, came into my place now, look in the refrigerator. There's one sitting right there, and it's just a reminder.
It'll be 2 years in April, and that was something I did every day, and that happened without my even being conscious of it.
I came out of that experience, I looked at it, said, that just doesn't look like the right thing for me to be putting in my body. I just did that recently with something called peanut butter.
I love peanut butter.
I gave up peanut— I had peanut butter and jam in the morning on toast and all of that, but I always knew whenever I would eat peanut butter, I've got some kind of internal slight reaction to peanut butter.
I don't feel well or strong immediately after eating it. You know, it's like I have a little moment of weakness.
You know, that's one of the ways to test. You know, they call it muscle testing, but you can just go by your feeling. If you eat this food, like if you eat fresh vegetables and just, you know, just eat a big plateful of it, and as they're going down, going into your body, you know you're doing something good for your body.
You can just feel your body saying thank you for this, you know.
As opposed to if you eat like 4 handfuls of M&M's, your body says, oh no, please, you know, right? Just watch, you can feel, just watch your kids after they do that, you know. So you just sort of trust your feelings.
And the same thing you can do with cigarettes, you can do it with alcohol, you can do it with anything. But when you start just listening to your body and listening to this, to the thank yous that it sends back to you, it's no longer bloated. You don't have that weak feeling.
You don't feel yucky.
You know, you don't have constipation problems, all the kinds of things that go with Putting things into your body that your body just doesn't want. Anyway, let's take another call.
Let's do. We have time for probably one more. Let's go to Terry in Buffalo, New York on line 3. And thanks for being so patient.
Hello?
You say Terry?
Terry. Is it Terry or Carrie?
No, cherry like the fruit.
Oh, cherry.
Oh, cherry. Okay. Thank you. Well, what are you doing in Buffalo? Is there any snow there? There's always snow there. Well, today, no, no, it's a nice day. Oh, oh, good, good.
Um, I just like some advice on, um, I guess I feel paralyzed with fear because I need to make some changes in my life.
I just recently gone through a divorce and I like to relocate, but I'm afraid of failing and struggle.
And, um, Buffalo is pretty small. My ex, he jogs past my house, you know, in the marathon, um, a few times, you know, a couple of times a year.
And I don't know, I just want to leave here.
I just feel this need to leave, but I'm afraid of—
of what?
You're afraid of struggle?
Yes.
I don't think so.
I don't think you're afraid of struggle.
You know, Cherry, listen to me, listen to me. We only have a couple of minutes, so you've got to really hear this. You know, one of the most exciting things in life is change. When you're about to move to a new location, you're going to take on a new job, when you enter into a new relationship, and all of these kinds of like really big time changes. I mean, I just talked earlier in the show about my going off to lecture in a foreign country where the language is different, where the people wear different clothes, where, you know, it's just a whole different— you get off of a plane after 20-some hours or so and you're in the middle of the desert and there's camels walking around. And, uh, and there's a part of you that says, oh my God, this is too scary, you know, I'm just not going to do that. So I'm just going to stay in my box. And then at the end of my life, you can say to someone, have you lived 90 years or have you lived 1 year 90 times? You know, and living one year 90 times is not what you want to do unless there's that excitement of, of trying something new. I just got a thing in my ear that we have less than a minute to go, so— but I would urge you to do something in the direction of sending that fear out by replacing it with love and saying, I'm going to take the risk, I'm going to take the risk, I'm going to take my child and we're going to do this thing, and I'm going to do it with conviction, and I'm going to do it, and I see it working out. It's going to be My new life. Do it. Don't be afraid of that, Jerry. Gotta run. I'm sorry we had to cut you short. God bless you and everyone else for calling in today.
Hi and welcome to Dr. Wayne Dyer's Inspiration. I'm Summer McStravick, the producer of this program, and I'll be fielding all of your calls this hour. Welcome to everyone. And Dr. Dyer, how are you today?
I'm great, thank you. How are you?
Ah, feeling good. What's, what's on your mind this, this week in the middle of the summertime?
Oh well, we're going to take some calls, but I just wanted to share one, one of the things that I think is really good to do for people, and I just did it this weekend, is, uh, go out into nature and really escape from all of the noise and the, you know, the confusion and all the obstructions and all the people, all the cars, all the sounds, all the noises that are in the normal everyday living that we just sort of accept. All the beeping in the air and the blowers and the trucks and the lifters and noise, noise, noise. And there's something about the noises of nature. And this weekend, I live over on West Maui, and I went over halfway over to a place called Hana, which in Hawaiian means heaven, and went to a wedding of my yoga instructor. And she married someone from New Zealand, a Maori. And the whole group of people went out there, and the only thing that we could do out there for the entire weekend— there was 150 people out there— is to camp. So we had to bring tents and sleep outdoors in the camps and then swim in waterfalls and pools pools for the entire weekend, and it was just really magnificent. And then the night up there, and this is the rainforest, so it rains almost every night, and it rained and rained and rained so hard all throughout the night from about 1 o'clock in the morning until about 5. And of course the water started coming in under the tent, and, you know, having— it was just one of those kinds of experiences where, you know, normally you won't have to worry about whether you're going to get wet when you're sleeping, and you don't have to do you know, be concerned about what bugs are going to be coming in and all that. It was a wonderful, terrific experience, and I recommend, especially if you're feeling a little tense, feeling a little, uh, out of sorts or worked up or nervous or depressed or whatever, is return to your nature. That's what Lao Tzu taught me in, in the Tao Te Ching, that you'll find God not in some, some bearded white man floating around in heaven sort of a cosmic bellboy waiting for you to give orders or ask for things. Much more you'll find God or Source or Spirit in nature, in all of the wonderful ways that nature has presented to itself. And getting out there and experiencing it and living among it and listening. You know, I would go away to meditate just because there was a whole bunch of kids there, and so I would just go 100 yards away. And any place that I would sit within 10, 15 feet of where I was, there was probably a million little creatures, just tiny little bugs, little this, little crickets, little noises and all of that. And that's every cubic inch of space. There is, it seems, something out there that's alive and something to experience and to know. And it's a good way. Nature, nature is extremely healing. It's very therapeutic. I felt, I felt very, very peaceful and enjoyed it very, very much. So my recommendation for this week is spend a little time in nature and you'll find God.
Okay, connect with the earth, in other words.
Yeah.
When you said Hannah, is that the tiny little town— what takes Hannah— it takes like a 6-hour drive through switchbacks to get to?
A lot of—
I believe I've done that.
Yes, it is.
It's not quite 6 hours, but it's, uh, with a 2-year-old and a 5-year-old in a car seat, it's, uh, 6 plus.
We have that— we call that our trip from hell one time that we did. We took 5 of our kids, and they were 5— we had 5 under the age age of 8, and we took them all. We hired a limousine many, many years ago, and they prepared meals and all of them took that. And the first kid got a little bit carsick and she threw up. Then, of course, the smell of the, of the throw-up in the back that made the next one. So 5 of the kids, by the time we got to Hana where we were going, even the food in the back had been—
it was not a pleasant—
it was one of those things. Oh yeah, it's very much, yeah, very much motion sickness and switchbacks. Yes, that's Hana.
I think I remember that.
Called the Rose Garden. Those of you who are coming to Maui, when you, when I do my seminar here in October, the weekend seminar on Excuses Be Gone, you might want to take a, take a look at that trip over to Hana. It's quite a, quite an experience all the way over there. All the way over there, there are waterfalls and there are pools to swim in. And yeah, I could go on and on about what it was like to swim. And I did a 45-minute swim in one of those pools, just back and forth, back and forth under a waterfall. And the energy of that was just, it took away some congestion and things that I had had So it was really powerful. And now tomorrow morning I'm getting ready to leave for San Francisco and to do filming for my new film, which will be out in January, called From Ambition to Meaning. The star is Portia de Rossi, who is Ellen DeGeneres's partner, and she's also the star in her own right of Ally McBeal and Arrested Development. And she's become— she's going to be the star of this film, other than Wayne Dyer, of course. I know I'm a movie star and I'm trying to tell them I want to, you know, I want my I want my people to meet with your people, and I want to have— I'm starting to talk the Hollywood kind of talk, you know. It's, uh, I want a trailer that's bigger than anybody else's trailer because you're demanding your, your certain type of water bottles. And if there's any questions, I'll have my people talk to your people, and we'll do— they'll do lunch and have quiche.
All right, let's get out of that. Let's get away from that right away. Let's get back to nature here. All right.
Okay.
We have, first of all, Maura. She's calling today from Dayton, Ohio on line 3. Maura, welcome to the program. You're speaking live with Dr. Wayne Dyer.
Hi, this is a dream come true.
Hi, and speak up as well if you wouldn't mind.
Yes, I'm in my office, so I'm trying to talk a little low.
So can you hear me?
I can hear you.
Okay. First, I want to tell you, you have changed my life tremendously. Thank you so much.
Thank you.
You're very welcome.
You're a true blessing. And some are actually— I was listening to your show Flow Dreaming today, and you talked about envisioning presents like you're a kid on Christmas Day opening presents. And I had this feeling overwhelm me today with that. So this is truly a present.
Oh, that's so wonderful. How may I help you, Mara?
Well, I I just made a career change, which is really to the positive. It's a wonderful opportunity for me. And at the same time, my husband is in a transition too, and he's following something he's always wanted to do. My problem— or I shouldn't say problem, but I have this feeling, and I don't know why, that while he makes this change, that he is going to find someone else that is more suiting for him. And I thought this way for quite a few years, and actually I had the same situation in my last marriage, and it happened. And I know how we, we think and we can manifest things, and I don't want— I mean, that's not what my intention is, and I don't know why it comes up.
Well, it comes up because it's been your life experience, and you know, you live in great fear of the same kind of thing replicating itself in your life and probably are thinking, best especially based upon all of the things that you've learned, that you, you know, you attract into your life exactly what you need at exactly the right moment and the right time. And, you know, you become what you think about. And then you did that. And so now what you've done is you've trained your mind. It's a lot of what we do as, as we get older. We start using the second half of our life to sort of get over the things that we did in the first half of our life. And, and with a marriage, very often you, you know, you start using your second marriage to get over the things that you had to deal with when you were in your first marriage. And if you can understand that, um, that thought is something that you want to be very cautious about. If I were going to have that thought, I, instead of saying this is something that I'm terrified of and that I fear, I would be putting it into a different perspective. That whatever it is that is your dharma, your, your relationship to this person that you're married to and that, that you love very much, if it is to come to an end, and if it's to come to an end in some way that, um, is very similar to what I did the first time, then I'll handle that as well, whatever it is. But right now, I want to put my thoughts on where I am, because I've said it so many times on this program, everything that ever happened to you in your life, and especially in your last marriage, happened to you in the present moment. And everything that's going to happen to you in this relationship is going to happen to you in the present moment. That is, the future and the past are nothing more than illusions. They all occur in the present moment. So your relationship to this marriage is really your relationship to the present moment. So rather than focusing on its ending and, and some, you know, kind of disaster that you just have imagined for yourself, imagine that whatever it is that comes along, you'll be able to handle it. And if it's— and if there is somebody out there that is more suited to be with your husband, and that's, you know, 10 years down the road or what it is then that's, that's exactly what you'll handle when that were to show up as well. In other words, get the disaster out of it. Get the, you know, I call this disasterizing, you know, just getting yourself all worked up. You know, there's an old saying that says, I'm an old man and I've had many troubles, most of which have never happened. And, you know, it's like these are all things that we create for ourselves in our mind. Just know that whatever it is that is coming your way in this relationship know that it is all for your highest good and for your husband's highest good. And who wants— who could ask for anything more than that, right? You know what I mean?
Yeah, you're right, you're right with that. And yeah, in a roundabout way, some of those thoughts too have come about, you know, you know, I'll handle it as it goes. But I don't like having that feeling, and I really, you know, I do daily affirmations where I'm trying to create more positive things with it.
So yeah, but think of it like this, Maura. Think of the— because what you're talking about is something called worry, you know, and worrying about what might happen, you know, with all the possibilities and so on. Think of it instead of what might happen in the future. Ask yourself this question whenever one of those thoughts pops into your head. That is, why am I using up this present moment, which is all I get in life, all I'll ever get? Why would I want to use it being consumed with something that might or might not happen down the road? Why not instead say to myself that I'm, you know, we're married, we're happy, we love each other, and I'm going to be in this moment and I'm going to enjoy. And the more you're able to do that and be there and send that worry thought away, because the worry thought is nothing more than how you're choosing to use up this present moment by consuming yourself with worry. Guilt is the opposite of that. Guilt is being, using up the present moment to be concerned about something that you did or didn't do or should have done or didn't do right, but you're still doing it in the present moment. So worry and guilt, in my book Your Erroneous Zones, I call these the useless useless emotions. They're just useless because all they do is take you away from the moment and have you fill up the moment with something other than what you want to be doing, which is to be in a fully functioning, loving, present moment experience all the time, just being in the now. And if you want to learn how to do that, go out and watch your animal, you know, because I wrote a book years ago called The Sky's the Limit, and one of the chapters is called First Be a Good Animal. And there's so much that we can learn from the creatures out there. Like, an otter isn't worried about, you know, whether its mate is going to leave it 2 months from now, or whether it likes somebody else better, or any of those kinds of things. It's just in the moment, being an otter. Just be an otter. Just enjoy the moment, and you'll find that all of that other stuff will just pass exactly the way it's supposed to. It's all unfold perfectly. And everybody who comes into our life, by the way, everybody who comes in, it's like a play, you know. They have certain roles to play. Some of them in for the whole act, usually your parents and grandparents or so on. They're in for the whole, every act of the, of the play. And some of them come in for a short time and then they leave, and some come back and And, you know, everybody's making entrances and exits, and ultimately we all exit the play, don't we?
Yeah, yeah, we do.
Never worth it. All of that anxiety and that stress and that fear and that worry, all you're doing is wasting the present moments of your life, filling them with something that you could otherwise be filling them with. And that's what I would be asking you if I were your therapist. Like, what is it that you could be doing in the moments when you're worried about whether your husband's going to find someone more suited to you? What could you be doing other than that? Supposing that your mind wasn't capable of thinking that thought, what would your life look like if you couldn't think that thought? And how would you feel?
How would I feel?
What if you couldn't think that? What if you just couldn't think that thought that you had, that your husband might someday— what if you couldn't think that?
I would be content. I would be happy with everything because we have a lot together.
We—
he's my best friend, and we have so much together now.
I would be happy.
And I am.
Yeah, if you couldn't think that thought, you would be happy. So the only thing that keeps you from being happy isn't your husband or isn't you, it's that thought.
Yeah.
And if you just decide that I'm in charge of what thoughts that I have, you know, and so, so now you say, okay, I just— you just go on to that. You use your imagination and you go into this imaginary place where you just don't— you just assume I can't think that thought. My brain isn't capable of making the chemicals that are going to allow that thought to come to me. And then you start realizing that I am now content. You use the word, I'm content. You would be free. You would be joyful. You would be happy. You'd be filled with— and if you read the Tao, if you read Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life, there's a whole chapter in there on contentment. That's what Lao Tzu was teaching us all. Just be in a state of contentment instead of wanting something or worrying something or being obsessed about what already happened. That's a great call. I'm glad you called this morning.
Thank you so much.
I love you so much.
Thank you.
Thank you.
God bless you.
God bless you too.
Thanks for your call, Maura. Well, Dr. Dyer, when we let go of that last caller, there was not much time before the break, but one thing Maura made me think about was how some of us worry obsessively about the past and others like Maura or myself, we worry about the future. She's worrying about something that's going to happen and I notice in myself I tend to always worry about the future, but I never worry about the past. About the past. Do you think that's just our personalities or human nature?
Yeah, I think that when we call it worrying about the past, I think that's a misapplication of the use of worry, the word worry. I've always used— anytime you use that, everything you do, you do in the present moment. So the question always is, why am I using up my present moment this way? Anything that you're using to think about what happened in the past, if it shouldn't have happened, I wish it wouldn't have, I was wrong, I was I call that guilt. And the reason why guilt is, is a useless emotion is because it's just inconsiderate or inconvenient way of using up the present moment. If you use up the present moment to say, okay, I did this and I'm going to learn from it, I'm not going to do it again, that's not guilt. That's just called learning from the past. But if you're obsessed about it and worried about it and feeling sad about it, then you're just practicing, you know, one of the most useless things that you can do, which is to feel guilty. Learn from it. But feeling guilty is a waste of the present moment, as is worrying about anything, really. There's a wonderful statement that my, my teacher in India used to say to me. He said, it makes no sense to worry about the things you have no control over, because if you have no control over them, it makes no sense to worry about them. And then he said, and it makes no sense to worry about the things that you do have control over, because if you have control over them, it makes no sense to worry about them. So there goes everything that it's possible to worry about. You either have control or you don't. In either case, worry is a waste of your present present moments.
So in any instant, you could just ask yourself, do I have any control over this? Yes or no?
Right. And move on. Yeah. And that's what the Serenity Prayer is really about. And grant me the, you know, the wisdom to know the difference between the things I do— I can control— and the things I can't control. And for sure, you can't control anything that's already happened. You just can't control it. Yeah, that's true.
Good distinction there. How about we move to Amanda then? We have a caller from Canada. Alberta, Canada. Amanda, you're on line 2. Welcome. You're speaking with Dr. Wayne Dyer.
Thank you.
Hi, Wayne.
Hi, Amanda.
Hello.
I just wanted to say my mom and my sisters and I enjoyed you at the Las Vegas I Can Do You.
Oh, yes.
We listened to your lecture and it was very good. Thank you.
Well, thank you.
Yes.
Did you say I can do you? I like that, but it was I can do it.
That's what I heard too.
I don't want anybody out there thinking, okay, what did Wayne and Amanda, what were they up to? I can do you in Las Vegas. I can do you in Vegas. I like that. I think we're going to change it to that. That's great.
Oh, yeah.
You Canadians, you're so bad.
What else is on your mind, Amanda?
Well, what's been on my mind for the last month is I have a tendency— I'm just looking for some words of wisdom. I've been feeling this deep resentment inside of me. I feel like my ego jumps out at the best of times. I'm trying to really work hard at going inside my heart, but every time a certain situation comes up, whether it's with my family or someone else, I feel like I'm going through my head. I would like to get some words of wisdom.
What kinds of things cause you to have this resentment?
Let's see.
I feel that, like, I've never been a person to feel this angry inside, and I've always come from peace and loving words, and lately I've been feeling that they're not coming out of me, and I'm doing my best to, you know, do my affirmations or in my angel cards, but I've never been this way, and I'm not sure how to answer your question, but—
Yeah. How old are you, Amanda?
31.
Are you married?
No, I've been single for about 4 years.
You were married?
Oh no, no, just in different relationships.
I see. Yeah, I think sometimes the, um, you know, when we use the word resentment about, uh, you know, what's happening to, uh, and it causes us to go inside and express itself in, in angry words and so on, is, um, that's the time when you have to, uh it isn't going to be affirmations that are going to heal that for you. It's, it's going to be the— there's, there's like, generally speaking, there's a wound in there someplace. There's some kind of something going on in there that, um, you're not at peace with. And if you can— it isn't even locating it as much as, uh, you know, I always like that quotation that I give from Moby Dick from Melville, you know, for as this appalling ocean surrounds the verdant land So in the soul of man lies one insular Tahiti, full of peace and joy, but encompassed by all of the horrors of the half-lived life. And the half-lived life is what I always suspect when I hear what you're saying, you know, because likely you're not— you know, you're 31, so you've moved into your 30s now. Now you look back and say, oh my God, my 20s are gone already, you know. And here I am, 31, and my next one's 40s, and then, oh my God, that's just ancient, you know. So it's like, I, you know, and it's like you got to kind of get on with with, what am I here for? What, what, what's my, what's my purpose? What is all of this about? And, you know, the real purpose of life is to enjoy it. And if you're not able to do that, you know, you have to go to that insular Tahiti and go to that place of inner peace and joy. Generally, the best thing to do is what Lao Tzu recommends, which is to start living the virtues, start taking the focus off of yourself, off of me, off of my relationships, off of what's working and not working, off of my job, off of how much money I'm making, off of what my parents think, or anything. Like, all of that— like, just take you out of the picture and suspend yourself. Let that ego part of you go and instead reach out. Reaching out and serving. Find yourself in a place where you can go out there and extend joy, extend peace, extend kindness someplace in some way to someone. I don't need to tell you how to do that because that's really easy to do. You can turn around in the next 5 minutes after you hang up the phone and do it. Just reach out in love in some way, or find someone less fortunate than you, or donate $20 to something, or whatever it might be. And the minute that you start taking your focus off of yourself, you become more godlike. You become— you get into that place where you're starting to understand this is what it means to be God-realized. This is what Lao Tzu meant when he said, be Tao-centered. Act like God does. Act like the source does. Act like the Tao does. Which is— and what does the Tao do. It's always serving, it's always giving, it's always concerned with abundance and providing and offering and sharing and loving. And, and it's all natural, it's all natural. And I was thinking, you're in Alberta, and I can remember one time going into Alberta. Do you know where Lake Louise is?
Yes.
And have you ever been up there to Banff and Lake Louise?
Yes, I have.
Yeah, that would be such a— I was thinking, I don't know how anybody could be unhappy or depressed or anything when, when they're in a place like that. That might be a really good spot for you to just go up there and contemplate and be, you know, rather than focusing on Amanda.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
Well, so head to Banff. Lake Louise is calling you. It's the most bad thing is I think it's the most pristine, beautiful place in, in, in all of North America.
Well, I, I went there during my years of when I was in the choir in my junior high years. That I haven't been since. So I've been wanting to go somewhere.
That's the perfect place. I'm telling you, I could see— I could just, for some reason, I could see you meditating right by those mountains there and right in that beautiful spot.
Oh good.
All right.
So that's my little psychic ploy for today. Get you to Lake Louise and just be. And then see how much serving you can do, how much focus you can take off of yourself, and how much reaching out that you can do in that, in the time, especially while you're on your way there.
All right.
Okay, sweetheart.
Thank you so much.
Thanks.
Thank you.
God bless you. Namaste.
Appreciate it. All right, Dr. Dyer, we have Marie calling you now from Grand Rapids, Michigan. Marie, you're on line 1.
Welcome.
You're speaking with Dr. Wayne Dyer.
Hi, Dr. Dyer.
Hi, Marie. How are you?
Good. I'm so excited to get to talk to you. I've been reading your books for years and I love them and they've been a big help to me.
Well, thank you very much. I love your town. I've been up there many times.
Yeah, my question is I'm feeling stuck mostly in my career, but also in my personal life and finances too. And I know I, I feel like I want to change, but I don't know what to do. So I just feel paralyzed, like I'm not doing anything. And now then I'm frustrated because I feel I want the change but don't know what next step to take.
So the reason why you're stuck is Um, the career—
mostly it's centered around my career. I've been doing the same type of work for 28 years, and I, I stay with it because I need the money. And part of it is I'm self-employed, and it works— part of it works as far as like I get to set my own hours. So I like that aspect of it, but I don't enjoy the work anymore, and I just— it's draining to go to work.
It just feels like it's sucking the life out of Oh, well then you, you just have to— you, you're— all of the excuses that you're using for not, you know, making that change, which are probably in the neighborhood: I wouldn't be as financially secure, um, other, you know, other people in my family wouldn't understand that, there would be, you know, there would be family drama that I would have to deal with, you know, I would be frightened because I would be entering into new territory that I've never been in before, and it's, it's not my nature to be risky. It's more my nature to be safe.
Is that right?
Yep.
Yeah, because that's— you wouldn't be in the same place for 28 years. See, all of these are, you know, you're the perfect person. I want you to read my new book, Excuses Be Gone. I wish I had it done for you.
I cannot wait. I heard about it.
Yeah, next year. Yeah. And it's, it's really about some of the stuff we've been talking about here today. It's like, uh, is to really go to look at the thoughts that you have, all of those excuses that I just laid out for you you, if you were to ask the question, the very first question, I have what I call an excuses be gone paradigm. And this paradigm is like you ask yourself a series of 7 questions. The first question you ask yourself, is it true? And then you look at, well, you know, where did it come from? And then you look at what if I couldn't think these kind of thoughts? And then you begin to look at coming up with rational reasons to change it. But right now, for you, you have all the reason, all the rational reasons in the world to change that, because the description that you just gave, it's gnawing at me, it's painful, it hurts for me to make those kind changes. I always think, you know, what if you couldn't think those kind of thoughts? What if that wasn't a possibility? And if you were totally free, if you were completely free and didn't have to worry about all those things that I just laid out, what would you be doing? What would you be doing that wouldn't make you feel so constrained and so, um, oh, I don't know, even unworthy of the kind of stuff that you're going through in your life? What would you, what would you be doing? Do you know?
I always lean towards the arts. Art, writing. I enjoyed it in school and I still enjoy it. I just haven't done anything with it. I just got caught up in everything else and I haven't. But I always go back to drawing or writing, and I've thought of children's writing, children's, children's books. I've kind of dabbled in it about 10 years ago, and then I let it go and didn't do anything with it. But it still comes back.
What would keep you from doing that?
I think part of what happens is I have the idea, but then I— and I know I do this to myself— I think too far ahead because I was like, okay, if I write something, then what do I do with that? I don't, I don't know what— I think I jump too far ahead. I don't know what steps to take.
Right. And that's a theme of what we're talking about here today. That's really like them. So we get into this worry theme, you know, about, so if I were to do this, then this would be the consequence, and then if I were to do this— and so instead of using your mind and your time and your life energy to be doing what you really truly enjoy, which is the whole purpose of life. Instead, you're using it— the minute that you stop, you say, no, no, no, I'm not deserving of that, I'm not worthy of that, and, and that's— and then I'm not going to be able to make money, and no, what are my family going to think if I were to do that? And so all of that stuff that, that you twist— I call these memes, you know, these are just the, you know, the thoughts that we have had implanted in our minds from your parents and their parents, and endlessly it goes back into all of this worry And instead, the way out of it is to say, okay, the artwork. Someone I was on the radio show with last week named Magli in New York, I don't know if you heard the show, but she talked to me about painting that she had done of Lao Tzu. And she finally, I finally got it. It was sent to me and it arrived last week. I think it was 2 weeks ago we did that. Well, it's one of the most beautiful creations. In fact, it was so terrific that when I got it and I put it up on my wall, I was so inspired by it, I sat down and wrote her a check for $1,000. And sent it to her just because I wanted her to know that her first painting deserved, you know, that kind of reward for it. And I think she's going to be a very famous artist. And I would say the same to you, you know, instead of going through all the worry, anxiety, just be in the present moment. Just be in that and practice that a little bit instead of all that worry time.
Okay, sweetie. Thank you so much.
Thank you. God bless you, my friend.
Let's find out what Blaine in Lindsay, Ontario has to say to you today. Blaine, welcome. You're speaking with Dr. Wayne Dyer.
Thanks, Summer. Wayne, this is a thrill to get to speak to you today.
I was—
thank you, Blaine.
I was able to see you in Detroit and Toronto, and when I saw you in Toronto, it was the 'I can do it,' not like the other Canadian, 'I can do me,' right?
Yes, exactly.
And what a—
glad you didn't say that.
Yes, and so am I. And I don't know if you remember, in Detroit, my daughter had done up a wonderful letter for you, and she still wanting you to do a kids meeting at some point with all the kids. You've made some great kids' books, which we love.
Oh, that'd be great. Yeah, I think I do recall that.
Well, that's me. Well, I was— I sensed I needed to call today, and obviously I've gotten through, and I'm a little nervous, but bear with me. 3 years ago, your book Inspiration just hit everything, kind of set me on a different track. So it's been amazing. My question today is, I have a business that I've been doing for 15 years. It's with my sister, and I really am kind of worried that we need to deal with selling it and moving on. And I've got a whole lot of different things that have come to me that I want to do, and I'm wondering if I've maybe given myself too many things to jump into, or if I should narrow it down. Or, you know, and again, I always worry about doing the right thing and attracting prosperity and not doing something silly.
So, well, first of all, the attracting prosperity business is a like, you know, just know that that's, um, that's the only thing that you can attract. As long as you keep your focus not so much on how is it going to happen, when's it going to happen, uh, you know, what is the divine timing— because divine timing really means it's already in much bigger hands than yours— and just constantly use the affirmation that, that it's on its way, whatever it is that you're in the way of prosperity is on its way. But you've been doing a business for 15 years. Is getting rid of that business or selling that business or moving on from that business, is that something that you can see happening for yourself, or is it a powerful thing?
Yeah, ideally that's what I would love to have happen, and we're kind of at the end of our current negotiations and agreements, so it would be a good time to try and sell it. But I'm dealing with, you know, bring— being up, you know, our upbringing was different thoughts than what you've introduced me to, was, you know, almost like don't expect great things and, you know, work, work hard and you may get some money or you may not. And assuming that it, you know, that we won't be able to sell it, so those type of thoughts are there in my circle, I guess you would call it.
Yeah, sort of the old idea that life really is a sexually transmitted terminal disease, that we're all just going to die anyway, so none of it is, you know, but you don't think like that any longer anyway.
No, absolutely not.
Yeah, I think for you, I mean, I don't know, I can't get a reading on anything intuitively, but I can just sense that whatever it is that you put your attention on And if your question is, am I thinking too many things and having too much stuff come into me? That's the creative process. You know, like the creative source doesn't say, oh, I'm making too many mosquitoes. Well, what about rose bushes? Well, I need to make some, you know, antelopes and, you know, the creative source is in a constant state of creating and there's never any restriction. There's never any limitations. It's just constantly giving, offering, and providing. And when you move into this kind of realization, which you must be, especially if you attended the conference in Detroit and so on, and you're thinking about these ideas, you're reading books like Inspiration. Yeah, you know, you have a deep knowing inside of you that you are totally unlimited, whatever it is. I mean, I sit here right now at the age of 68, and I know that if I decided to change careers right now and just go into something completely different, something I had never even done before, you know, being a sports announcer or whatever it is, that I know that it's all I would have to do is put my attention on it, and the universe would send me, you know, the right people, the right events, the right circumstance. It would all just begin to show up. Up, you almost get— it's hard to explain this— but you almost get a sense of that whatever it is I want to manifest or attract into my life, whatever it might be, that there's absolutely no limit to it whatsoever. And you get— the right word isn't arrogant, but it's the word that keeps going— you get almost like a knowing that is so powerful that nothing can dissuade you from it. You know, nothing can come in there and say, no, this can't happen, this isn't going to work, these are all the obstacles, these are all the reasons where all of that stuff, that's the work of other people. That's the work of people, you know, people in the past who have tried to make these, you know, try to make your life safe and try to do the right thing by you and all with good intentions, but always with limitations and always with you have to watch out for the outcome. And now you're moving into that. You're moving into the same place that you're going to move into when you die, when you leave this body behind, you know, when you leave, when you just this place of oneness. And oneness is a very difficult concept for us to grasp because we're always in two-ness. We're always in, you know, not just the thing but the symbol of the thing and what will happen and what circumstances might. And we introduce conflict. There's always this inclination of the mind to go into this area of conflict and the what-ifs. But when you're in oneness, when you're in total oneness, you know it's all perfect. And every one of these thoughts that are bombarding your consciousness now, they're coming in there just to sort of wake you up and have you realize that there's absolutely no limits whatsoever. You just make the decision whichever way you want to go. Practice living the virtues. Practice being out there and serving and honoring others and servicing yourself and God and our planet. And the right thing will come your way. I know that's a long, windy answer, but, uh, well, it's—
I needed it all, I'm sure. And I have one major, major project that I want to lead forward to that I— it came to me when I was just reading your first book, and it actually woke me up in the middle of the night, and I had to draw it all out. And so I've been working on it for 3 years, and I have— I always go back to your, your point of doing it just one step at a time and not, not thinking it has to be here right immediately.
But there's a big difference between I mean, thinking, because I always say in the Tao it says think small, don't think big, because the journey of 1,000 miles begins with that step, that single step, and that's all you can do is just take the next step and the next and the next. But that doesn't mean that you don't have big vision. No. It doesn't mean, because in the Tao it says that the Taoist masters, or what they call sages, a sage accomplishes great things by thinking small, by thinking about what I can do in this moment. Moment. But you don't, you don't say that great things aren't going to come my way and I'm not going to be able to, you know, do all of those things because I'm focused on this moment. But the more you stay focused on this moment, like I've been writing this book on Excuses Be Gone Now every single day since around the 1st of February of this year. And I just passed on last Friday page 425 of handwritten pages. That's not how many book pages, but 425 pages I have world by thinking about what I can do, but I've always had the vision of this thing being completed. In fact, I have a picture of what the book is going to look like before I even start the book there so that I know that it's already complete. I'm just sort of filling in the pieces. I'm filling in the pieces. And if you can see yourself as doing that, and then if you get pulled— and it doesn't mean I'm not doing other things. My goodness, I'm making a film. I'm doing, you know, I've got all kinds of things that are going on and giving lectures around the world. It's all over the place. Ways, but it's like there's just this kind of this knowing that this isn't me doing it all. You know, it's like you get this awareness that you're letting yourself be lived by it instead of you living it. You know, just letting it take you wherever it's going to take you and being at peace with it. Just like that beautiful song I ended one of my PBS shows with that says, row, row, row your boat. Gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream. There's so much wisdom in that. It's like row, row, row means do, do, do, work, work, work, just whatever. More row, row your boat. Don't row somebody else's boat and row it gently, always gently, always in harmony with God. And do go down the stream. In other words, don't go up the stream and fight it and all of that. And do it merrily, merrily. Because in the end, it's all a dream. It's just all one big dream. We're all characters in God's dream. So there's great wisdom in that simple little song.
It sure is.
Well, and you've got lots of it, and I thank God for you every day and what you've done.
Well, thank you, Blaine. So nice to talk to you.
Thanks a lot, Blaine.
Thanks.
God bless you.
Take care.
Namaste.
Let's go now to Jennifer. She's calling from New York, New York. We hear a lot from New York. Jennifer, hi, how are you?
Great.
How are you doing?
Hi, Jennifer.
Hey, Dr. Wayne Dyer.
I have a car full of fans of yours.
A car full of what?
Fans. My dad, my sister, my mom too, but we're all coming to see you in New York City too.
Oh, great. In October. October the 7th.
Yes.
At the Jacob Javits Center. That's going to be great. That's always a wonderful night. That's when I always feel like— that's when I feel like I'm a rock star, you know? Because New Yorkers are so great. I just, I love New York.
They dress up too. Yeah, unlike us in California and Hawaii.
What's on your mind, beautiful?
Oh, um, I'm just getting out of a very rough relationship, 4 and a half years now, and, uh, I found out the whole time he was cheating on me. And I loved him more than I've loved anyone. I'm 31 years old now and I thought I'd be with him, you know, and And I'm not sure how I'm going to get past this because I need to be strong enough on my own to stay away from him.
Wait a minute, because we don't have too much time. How does he feel about this relationship breaking up?
He just will just deny and lie, and he just doesn't want me to leave.
So he's still in love with you, and you're still in love with him. And the thing— the reason why you can't be together even though you're both in love with each other is because Because he cheated on you?
Well, he—
it's continuing this trust issue, but there's no— there isn't any trust.
And he's also—
but what is the trust center around? Is it around money? Does he steal from you?
Oh no, he, he has—
he's a musician and he has a lot of groupies.
Yeah.
So, and it, and it hasn't changed.
But there's some— yeah, there's so much that we do with this. Like, gosh, I wish I could, you know, I wish I had hours to talk about that. It's, uh, this whole idea that we believe that because you're in love with somebody else and that other person has, you know, maybe expressed love towards somebody else or had sex with somebody else, you know, or whatever it is, that makes it all impossible. And it's like we get this idea that, uh, you know, if, if you're not exclusive to me, that we're trying, we're trying to really make ourselves into these monogamous creatures, you know, who only have eyes for each other. And we We fall in love with each other and we never look at anybody else. But gosh, my experience after all of these years is that that's just basically hardly ever the case, you know. And yet we just have this sort of, I don't know, the standard that we have for each other. I would practice a lot of forgiveness here. I would really have conversations with them. I would tell them what hurts and why. But I don't know that I would, unless this person is just like a dishonest person in the sense of, you know, really being abusive or stealing or things like that. If he just loves you, loves you, loves you, but has, you know, maybe there's— there will come a time when he can be in that, that place of being totally exclusively yours. But I hate to see two people who really adore each other and really love each other break up on the basis of something that just seems to be built into our DNA, this idea of looking out there somewhere else. And this isn't a justification for people cheating, it's more of a awareness that, you know, that as human beings we try to put standards on ourselves that sometimes there's something internal that within us that just won't allow it, and we try to fight that internal thing, you know. Does that make sense, or something? Am I—
No, it makes sense, and I wish I could just feel that and be natural with that.
I mean, he is—
he has been abusive in the past, but he's gotten much better. Like, he's not he'll have a temper, but he's not— he's changed in that respect, and he has changed.
So he has— we only have a minute left, so that's why I'm interrupting you. So he has shown that he's got tremendous growth potential. How old is this man?
He's 34.
I wouldn't give up on him yet, dear. I wouldn't give up on him yet. That's just my intuition with only 30 seconds or so to go, but I wouldn't give up. If this is a person who has gone from abusive to non-abusive, who has shown that he can grow go, who is, um, he might surprise you. He might surprise you. He might surprise you a lot. I'd, uh, I'd at least practice a little forgiveness. And even if you do let him go, let him go with love, you know. Don't, don't send him out of your life with anger and resentment and that he wasn't like you are. He's— his DNA is different than yours. You've got to love him for what he is. We love the things we love for what they are.
Well, thanks for your call, Jennifer. We've got to let you go right now because our show's wrapping up Thank you, Dr. Wayne Dyer.
Okay, God bless you.
Dr. Dyer, how are you doing?
I'm doing great, thank you.
How are you doing, Diane?
Very good. I must say you sound a little more energetic and, you know, and up today, so that's great to hear.
Well, I had surgery, what they call, you know, psychic surgery or spiritual surgery from this divine being who resides down in Abidanya in southern Brazil. His name is John of God. Oprah, you know, did a whole show on him, and some very— some luminaries have gone down there. And I had a dear friend, her name is Reina Piskova. She's a medical doctor. She's an eye surgeon in Madeira, California. And she really wanted me to go down to Brazil there with her. She felt compelled. She has some kind of a connection. She's from Bulgaria. And originally, she's American now, has two daughters and lives there in California and is a prominent surgeon. And she's been down there two or three times and she really wanted me to go, but I didn't for some reason. I know why. I was writing and I didn't want to leave my writing. But she went down and she had photographs taken of me dressed in white with all different herbs that I was to be taking and so on. And he, John of God, I have a picture of him with her and he had agreed to do the surgery. And I had, as I spoke about last week, I had just a profound experience of my body. Just, she said I had to treat my body as if I had just come out of surgery because I had. And I didn't need to be told much longer because, you know, if you know me and you've heard me talk, I swim every day. I walk every day. I do yoga. I climb stairs. I lift weights. I mean, I try to stay in shape. Yes, the best kind of shape. And I've been doing that every day of my life since I was in my 20s or early 30s. And that's about 40 years or so. So to not be active, but it didn't make any difference. I couldn't do anything. I slept for something like 36 hours. I started to detoxify my body and all of this happened as a result of that. Then a week later, which was Wednesday after I had done the show, is what they call removing the sutures. And I had just an experience that night in the middle of the night. It took place at midnight. I had this special water that was there. I'd taken these special herbs and so on. And I was told that these entities would come and remove the sutures and that I would begin the process of healing. Now I just, you know, there's still, there's a part of me that is just still skeptical about those kinds of things. It's the ego part of me. My spirit says everything is possible with God. All things are possible. This is John of God. And this man lives as God. I mean, he takes no money for anything that he does. He's available for any people that come from anywhere around the world, and people do. Like I say, Oprah did an entire hour show, went down there, and nobody has been able to find anything that is incorrect about it. A prominent Harvard surgeon was down there, just couldn't explain what was taking place medically and so on. So that night, last Wednesday night, about 11 o'clock at night, I went to bed.
Bed.
And I had just purchased a watch 2 days before, and it was actually quite an expensive watch that my daughter insisted that I get. It's called a Panerai, and it has a 10-day power supply on it, and it's supposed to be guaranteed to never lose a second. And I'd been wearing it about, oh, 5 or 6 days, and it was— it was just— it was a beautiful watch. And it has this— it's an automatic watch, but it, uh, it has a 10-day power supply on it. When I got up, uh, the next morning after the suture removal, my son and my daughter both looked at me and said, what have you been doing in there? Were you doing drugs or something? Because I had tiny, tiny little pupils in my eyes. My eyes were just all watering. And I looked— a friend of mine called me at 8:25 and she said, so how did it go? You were supposed to get up at 7. I said, well, it's only 5 after 7. And she said, no, no, it's 8:25. I'm at the airport and I'm catching a flight over to Honolulu. I said, no, no, it's 7:05. I'm looking right at my watch.
You must have it wrong.
Long, and I had lost an hour and 20 minutes during the night. That's what my watch— this brand new, guaranteed, perfect watch— had just lost an hour and 20 minutes, 80 or 81 minutes. And I was just like befuddled by that, that how could that happen? And when I talked to Reiner about it, she said the electromagnetic field of these healings and these teachings is so much more powerful than the electromagnetic field in your room, and you had the watch on you, it would have caused it to stop. Again, part of me says I understand that, but they've done a test on the electromagnetic field in Abidânia down there in Brazil, and it's different than any place else in the world. I didn't think again too much about it, although the watch stopping and the way that I looked in the morning when my kids thought that I was, you know, sneaking away in my room doing drugs of some kind, but— and I felt so different. I just felt just so peaceful and so happy and Basically, Diane, I just felt just pure, complete love. I mean, there was nothing that I looked at that wasn't love. I mean, I would look at a tree and I just wanted to embrace it. Every child, when I went for a walk, and it was the first day I had gone for a walk in 8 days because I had been doing nothing but resting, or 7 days. And this is like this overwhelming sense of love that I still feel right up to this moment, but it was very, very powerful at that. So about 2 days later, I reset the watch and it kept perfect time and everything, and I set it on the counter, went for a swim, came back again. It lost exactly the same amount of time, an hour and 20 or 21 minutes. I did it twice, so I decided I was taking the watch back.
Wow.
And I went back to the— I went back to the jeweler and they said, well, they've never heard of that. These Panerais are guaranteed. And it's like, we've never— but they exchanged it. I got a different one and Actually, I saved quite a bit of money because it was the one I got was also a Panerai, but it wasn't that 10-day power supply and so on. And I've been wearing this one, and I've also been back to the jeweler each day to see if anything happened to the watch, and it's now keeping perfect time again. But that's— I called Reina Sunday. This is Monday. This was yesterday morning. She went and she has a Mercedes car that she was going up into the mountains with her two daughters. They're looking for place. And she left me a message and a picture of her clock on her, uh, car, and it had lost an hour and 21 minutes on her clock and her Mercedes. And she said, this is a clock that has never lost or gained a moment. So something very intriguing and bizarre had happened there, and I'm still in the process of sort of detoxing and experiencing that. And I'm now doing— I'm writing this book, and all of this is happening while I'm writing it. And I've been talking about, uh, you've— I don't know if you've heard me talk about orbs. Have I talked about them here on the show, about these images that appear in photographs?
No, but I mean, I've seen that. I've experienced—
Hay House has a book called Orbs. It's a fascinating book, and there's, I think, 69 or 70 photos in there. And, uh, I didn't even realize this because I had sent a copy of this book to, uh, to Reina, because for the last last, oh, 3 or 4 months, whenever I've spoken in these audiences— when I was in— more than that, since last summer in Australia, I was there in August— people would come up and show me photographs that they had taken of me while I was speaking. And these gigantic orbs, and then some of them, there'd be 20 of these orbs all around my— in the photograph, in some people's cameras. And then on a few occasions when I was doing some therapy, there was one woman that was pretty grossly obese, about 350-400 pounds. And I had put my arms around her and I was looking into her face and explaining and talking to her about how she was going to change this and so on. And there's a huge gigantic orb right in front of me. Then I spoke in Vancouver and people took pictures of myself and myself and my daughter singing this song, Let It Be. And these beautiful big orbs that look like they almost have faces in them have been appearing in photographs.
Photographs.
So I've been intrigued by that, and I sent that book down to Reina, and 4 of the pictures that are in that book— that I didn't even have any idea of this— were from John of God when he was doing surgery down there and at Abadania and so on. That's again a book that, if you're interested in it, and or if you're— if you have photographs, and if anyone has taken photographs of me speaking and you see these orbs in there, I'd like to see them because I've got about 6 or 7 of them, and I'm going to put them in this book because the chapter that I'm writing now, it's the last chapter of the book, and it's about opening yourself up to all possibilities and realizing that, you know, there's nothing out there that is impossible. If you know that, it's like it says in the New Testament, with God all things are possible. And of course, that leaves nothing out. And it's just intriguing that this is all coming at a time when I was going to tell 3 stories. One of the stories is the story of the orbs that have been taking place and how they just seem to be surrounding me now when I'm speaking, especially when I'm speaking about this new God consciousness, this new realization that God is within each and every one of us and that we are all pieces of God. That fact, in fact, that we are all God and it's who we are. It's not these bodies, it's the spirit that we are. And as I've been speaking about that, suddenly— and these orbs never showed up before— so I was going to tell that story and I was going to tell the story of going down and John of God and this, like, this invisible healing that is taking place and what has happened in my body and what seems to be happening.
Happening.
And also another woman, her name is Mira Kelly. She's an attorney and she's in New York and she came to Maui and did a past life regression with me. And I'm not going to talk about that this week, but perhaps on a future show I'm going to talk about some of the things that happened when I was under and in this almost coma state. And she recorded it and I have the— and she's another woman from Bulgaria. And also the book that I've been referring to a lot is from a Bulgarian transcendent master named Mikhail Ivanov. So 3 people from Bulgaria, and then I find out, Reina tells me that the word Bulgaria, the original word Bulgars, means not of this world or not of here. So all of that has been taking place.
That is really amazing. That's so interesting. And I like that you said that You know, you were skeptical, but you're open. It's so interesting that you're being taught through your experience, you know, like you counsel so many people and you tell them, you know, with God all things are possible, and now it's really— things are really happening.
Well, for some reason I have been assigned to the task of taking very complicated things, and in my whole lifetime, in all of my professional writing, and making them available, like self-actualization. When Maslow explained it to the masses classes, I mean, to the academics in the world with his Toward a Psychology of Being, it's almost as if he said to me, now you explain it to the cab drivers. He passed away on the very same day that I received my doctorate on the 17th of June in 1970. And quantum physics, this thing that I know something about, but not a lot. I'm not a physicist and that kind of a scientist, but I've been able to make that world of the subatomic world sort of accessible to people. And with spirituality in my books on taking St. Francis's work and making that available. And now with God realization and higher consciousness, it just seems that it's— that these things like with the watch and with Reina's clock and with these kinds of miracles that are just occurring where there's— and Reina keeps saying to me over and over again, stop being surprised, stop being surprised, just accept this. She said, this is real. I've been down there several times. I know I've been with him. I've had surgery myself. And I'm my continuous thing thing is, yes, I— but I need to be surprised because I, for some reason, when I get out there to speak about this and to write about this, I need to be able to overcome the skepticism that so many people are going to have as I speak about these things and how they are impacting my life in such a big way. Not for me and not for this ego, not for my body or whatever, but because these teachings, I think, really need to be promulgated. And that leads me into the— and I've always known that the kinds of experiences that I go through in my life, whether it's with my wife leaving or whether it's with living in an orphanage as a child, whether it's with getting leukemia or having heart disease, uh, you know, when I shouldn't be having such a thing because of the lifestyle I lead and so on. And all of these kinds of things have been just the almost the grist for the mill of the teaching that I'm here to do and to let the world know for some reason. And it leads me into the thing that I really wanted to speak just a few moments about before we take calls this morning, is that, uh, yesterday was really a historical day in American history, and it will go down. The 1st of May is the day that Osama bin Laden was killed by our troops in, uh, by the Navy SEALs in Pakistan. And when I was watching it, I came— I was writing all day, and then I came in, and my daughter and my son, Sans and Serena, are here with me for a few weeks. Serena's writing her own book, and Sans is here to be with me. And they were talking about it and they're watching the TV and this celebration was going on and so on. And they said, Dad, you're not— don't look very happy. And I said, well, I'm not. I said, this is not a cause for celebration. And I sat them down and I said to them, look, I said, when I wrote the book Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life, and I said, I didn't just write a book about the Tao Te Ching. I lived it for an entire year. I lived each one of those 81 verses. Which is the same number of minutes that my clock stopped, and which in my past life regression I was right there with Lao Tzu, or as Lao Tzu. This number 81 just seems to be cropping up a lot, either 81 or 18, and both of those numbers mean one infinite source. You know, 8 is infinity, 1, or 1-8, one infinite source. But this number 18 in Yiddish, in Hebrew rather, means life. I am. And, um, you'll see that number appearing a lot in spiritual literature. And I said to them, I live the Tao, I lived each one of those 81 verses. And I took out the Tao Te Ching and I read to them a little bit of the 31st verse, which I want to share with the audience today, and why I don't consider this a cause for celebration. I understand it, but I think we're challenged spiritually with some of our principles. And there are two of them that I want to speak about here a bit this this morning. One is out of the Tao, and in the Tao it says, weapons are the tools of— this is the 31st verse— weapons are the tools of violence. All decent men detest them. Therefore, followers of the Tao never use them. Arms serve evil. They are the tools of those who oppose wise rule. Use them only as a last resort, for peace and quiet are dearest to the decent man's heart, and to him even a victory is no cause for rejoicing. He who thinks triumph beautiful is one with a will to kill, and one with a will to kill shall never prevail upon this world. It is a good sign when man's higher nature comes forward, a bad sign when his lower nature comes forward. With the slaughter of multitudes we have grief and sorrow. Every victory is a funeral. When you win a war, you celebrate by mourning. By mourning. And that's what I was doing. I was mourning because it shows, it shows that we still, um, as a people, we haven't figured out— Lao Tzu wrote those words 2,500 years ago. He lived in ancient China in the time of the Warring States, and he was just so fed up with people killing each other and raiding villages and all of these kinds of things, which were a big part of that past life regression that Mira Kelley came and did with me. And when you remember when the World Trade Centers went down and 3,000 people were killed, and they showed pictures of people, Muslim people around the world celebrating, you know, and we were just so outraged that how could anybody be cheering? And what we sometimes forget is that we use that experience, that experience of the World Trade Centers going down, which was a horrible experience.
Of course it was.
I knew people There was a woman that I dearly loved who was on that plane that flew into the World Trade Center. But we use that experience as an excuse to go into a country that had nothing to do with it and bomb it and kill over 150,000 innocent people, you know, occupying this country and the endless deaths that we— and now we— they look at us on television seeing everybody Putting their faces in the mirror and going, USA, USA, and celebrating another death. And they think that we are the Great Satan, just like we think that they are the Great Satan. And, you know, each of us have our own, you know, shame about the kinds of things that we have done. And if you want to see how we got into that war in Iraq, watch a film that I watched the other night called Fair Game with Sean Penn and Naomi Watts. And it tells the story of exactly how we went into that country Knowing, knowing they did not have weapons of mass destruction yet, we still decided to go in there and occupy and fight and drop bombs on villages and kill people after people. As it says so brilliantly in the Tao Te Ching, every victory is a funeral. When you win a war, you celebrate by mourning. And my daughter was saying to me, well, what do you do? I said, well, all of these people that you see celebrating on television and looking into the cameras and, and being so happy, and the interviewers and everybody is just so thrilled with this wonderful victory. I said, they call themselves Christians. And, um, I just put this in my, uh, last chapter, in chapter 9 of my book, uh, which will be out later this year or early next year, called Wishes Fulfilled. It's, uh, the words of Jesus, and it's from the book of Luke, Luke 6:32-36. Let me just share this with you. Because when it comes time to practice what Jesus was really saying in the hardest of times, we don't do that. We seek out revenge and we seek out hatred, and we act from that, uh, that place that Lao Tzu called the low people. It is, uh, is one with a will to kill instead of a will to love and forgive. And in this passage from Luke, Jesus says, if you love those who love you, What virtue lies in that? Even the morally weak love those who love them. And if you are good to those who are good to you, what virtue lies in that? Even the morally weak do that. Love your enemies. Be good to them. Share with them without expecting anything in return. Then your reward will be rich, and you will be sons of the Most High. He is kind to the ungrateful and the it. Be compassionate like your father. And Lao Tzu, 500 years, 600 years before that, said the man of Tao is kind to the kind and kind to the unkind, because kindness, because kindness is his nature. And that's where we have to go. And that's why I believe these teachings are coming to me and what is happening to me in my life right now. Now, is for me to have kindness as my nature and to be kind not only to the kind and the ones who are nice to me, but to the unkind, to the evil, to the people who see us as the great Satan and we see them as the great Satan. Somehow, ultimately, we as a people, if we're going to survive, have to figure out what Jesus was speaking about, what Lao Tzu was speaking about, and to at least if we take a victory And I am not opposed to them going in and capturing Osama bin Laden, nor am I even opposed to the way that they did it. But the idea that this is a reason for celebration, to me it's a reason for mourning. We have still demonstrated why Lao Tzu left the villages and left the walled city and went off on his oxen to live alone in nature, because he was just saying that war and using weapons is not what people of God do.
No, and we do have to move beyond that eye-for-an-eye mentality. And something you said, I think it was on last week's show, a bad man is a good man's teacher, right? That stuck with me, right, after I heard you say that. And yeah, I was down at the beach yesterday, and there was, you know, people coming up to me, have you heard? And they're high-fiving me. And I was like, what?
What?
I didn't know what happened. So I looked on my phone and, you know, and saw the news. And yeah, I mean, it just was kind of ringing a little hollow that there was all this celebration when You know, what now? Is there going to be more, more killings, you know? Yeah, even with him not being there, you know, right?
And there will be. And as long as we are doing these kinds of things, it's like, it's like if you understand violence, you know, it's like the dandelions. Remember the dandelions when they used to grow up and all those fuzz balls that were on the top of them?
Sure.
You go out there with violence and you take, let's say you take the back of your shovel and you just start slapping them and hitting them and hitting them harder and harder and harder. Harder. What happens is in the spring you have way, way, way more of the dandelions growing because when you use violence you just promote more of that. But when you gently go through and remove them, you remove that. And that's what we need to do.
Okay.
I just wanted to say that. So after—
A lot going on.
Yes.
And we will go to calls. Some great people lined up here waiting to speak with you. I'm so glad you mentioned what you spoke about today. Very, very powerful. Dr. Dyer, just, you know, listening to what you were saying in the last segment and kind of thinking about that over the break, just, you know, we really are on the cusp or a shift of a major transition, just everything that's been going on over the past few months and then now this latest thing with Osama bin Laden. It's really an amazing time to be on the planet right now, I think.
It is.
There's 6 or 7 billion of us and we're divided just like we are in Congress between the Republicans and the Democrats where we just We can't figure out a way to get anything done because all we do is just carp at each other and try to make the other person look bad and make themselves look right. And on the planet, we've got this major divide as well. And we really, um, if we don't figure it out, in my estimation, if we don't figure it out, then life on this planet just simply will not be allowed to flourish any longer.
It will end.
It will be the road. If you've seen the road, Cormac McCarthy's great book, which was one of the most intriguing things I ever read about what the world would look like after a nuclear holocaust. We must figure this out, that the answer still is in love, not in celebrating other people's demise.
Absolutely. Well, we've got some great callers stacked up here from all over the place. Really interesting calls today. So Let's start off in Hong Kong, which seems like an interesting place to go. Anita on line 2.
Oh my goodness, I think I know who this is.
You do?
Is this Anita?
Yes, it is.
I couldn't resist calling you.
This is another miracle. This is Anita M., the woman I've talked about on this show so many times, who's now going to become a Hay House author, who had her near-death experience. I listened to your radio interview there.
Oh my goodness, you were sent to me by Mira Kelley, the one I just talked about who did the past life for—
Oh my God, how are you?
I'm very well.
I can't believe I'm talking to you. I'm thrilled.
I am, uh, I just love you.
I know what you did on that near-death experience. I am, uh, you're gonna—
You signed with Hay House now, is that right? You're gonna become a Hay House author? Yes, yes, I am.
I'm so happy. I'm, you know, I've I'm going to write the foreword to your book, uh, if you would like me to do that. And, um, I would love it. And I want to bring you to America and put you on my public television special so that you can tell the world about what happened when you had 36 hours to live and were told that you had lymphoma all throughout your body. And you had this experience. Tell my audience— I'm so honored to have you here— tell my audience a little bit about what happened when, with that experience, it just blows me away. I'm just sitting here. This is like a miracle of miracles, even that Diane would take your call. I didn't know you were on the line, Diane. You just picked up. You can't even— you've heard me speak about this.
No, and it's funny when you had that, you recognized the caller. I just saw Anita from Hong Kong, and I just thought it would be cool to go to Hong Kong. That's great.
I need to tell—
I want to— I think I might take the rest of the show with this, or at least another 10 minutes or so tell my audience what happened and what your experience was. You've said it so beautifully in what you had wrote about. I can't wait to see your book.
I just—
I'm so happy about this.
Thank you. I'm really thrilled to speak to you. Well, what happened to me was that I had cancer. I had lymphoma which spread throughout my body and it spread like from the base of my skull, you know, all over the lymph nodes, all over my neck and my body, under my arms, everywhere, all the way down to my abdomen were all swollen. In fact, I had tumors. I was told that I had tumors the size of lemons all through my body, and I had cancer for about 3 years and 8 months. It seemed to go up and down in between because I was practicing Ayurveda, and then it would get better, but then it would come back. Especially, I notice now looking back at the pattern that when I used to be really, really fearful, that's when my health would get weaker, but about in the end of 2005, around December 2005, I went and had a full body scan and the doctor told my husband— they didn't tell me, but the doctor told my husband that I only had about 3 months at best at that time. By that point, my muscles had already deteriorated. I was confined to a wheelchair, and I had open skin lesions. And by February 2nd, 2006, I was on oxygen. You know, I had an oxygen tank, and I was being cared for at home by a full-time nurse. But on February 2nd, the morning of February 2nd, 2006, I went into a coma. So my husband, he was freaking out and he called the doctor and the doctor said to rush me to the hospital right away. When I got to the hospital, the doctors said that it was over, that it was too late, that these were my final hours and I probably wouldn't come out of the coma at all. And that was when I—
go ahead. No, you speak so eloquently, I don't even want to interfere.
Interfere.
You, uh, but you died. I mean, you essentially, um, went into what we call an NDE, but, um, your body just shut down and you were— and while you were in the coma, you were hearing things and seeing things at this time.
Tell my audience about this.
Yes, I could hear and see everything that was going on around me because the doctors had told my family that my organs had already shut down and basically I had died. And they said, although my heart was still beating, but I had died, that there was nobody in there. But I was aware of everything that was going on around me, everything that the doctors were saying, everything that they were doing, the needles that they were poking into me. They were telling my husband that I had fluid in the lungs, and they said that— and then, even though, you know, I was like in a coma, my breathing was quite labored and I was on oxygen, so the doctor even stuck a needle into my back to remove some fluid. I remember every single thing, and including— I became aware of things beyond my body. I was aware of my brother getting on a plane who was just coming to see me, and I then started to become aware of my father who had passed away 10 years before that. I was aware that he was around me, my best friend who I'd lost to cancer, she was there, and I could sense that they had been around me this whole time while I was ill. And then, I started to understand. I started to understand why I had the cancer and I started to understand that it wasn't my time and I had a choice of whether I wanted to come back into my body or to continue into death. At first, I didn't want to come back into my body because my body was just so thick. And it was so amazing on the other side. It was— there are no words to describe it, and I still get a bit tearful when I think about it because there's just no words to describe it. It's like this unconditional love, and this— you feel this clarity of, like, you know why you're here, what your purpose is, why you've come into this planet. That's how I felt. I felt like I just understood everything, my purpose for this life, why I got the cancer. And then I seemed to understand that if I chose to go back to my body now that I understood, then I wouldn't have the cancer anymore. If I chose to go back and live, the cancer wouldn't be there in my body because now I understood why I even had the cancer.
Yes.
You said something about, um, that you realized that you— not only do we have a physical body, but we have like an energy body or spiritual body, and that the illnesses that show up in our bodies are preceded by these. And if we could heal this energy body or the spiritual body, if we could heal that, then that would take care of the physical body. And that there was a sense that, um, that you knew that you could do this, and when you returned to your body, that it would no longer have cancer, something to that effect.
Is that correct?
Yes, that's exactly correct, because I became fully aware when I was on the other side that the cancer in the body— it's not the body, it's the cancer is actually caused because we energetically, we don't realize the amazing magnificence of who we truly are. At least I didn't realize who I truly am. You know, basically I am a part of God, and we all are. We are all God, but I didn't realize it. I was going through the planet as if I wasn't, as if I was just this physical human being. But when I realized what I had access to, when I realized the energy, the power that was behind me, I realized that it was just blocking that and not being aware of that or blocking that off is what can cause your body to manifest all kinds of things. But, the awareness of who I truly am, if I am aware of that, then my body will also reflect that.
Do you also think that—
Illness doesn't start at the body.
—go ahead.
Yes, I was just going to say that illness doesn't start at the physical body. It starts at a much deeper level, and that's the only level we need to work with, because if we just work with the physical body, we're only dealing with the symptoms, and the physical body is just sending us signals or messages with these symptoms to tell us that there's something deeper going on that we have to work with.
You said something very profound in that. I mean, I mean, that thing that you sent me, I've had it copied, oh, maybe 50 times. Each one of my children has it, and I've talked about it on this show. I quoted it in my book. I mean, words that you just used, I've already put directly into the book and quoted you from it. But you said that one of the interviewers asked you about past lives, and you said that it didn't seem like there was any past. Can you talk a little bit about what that was like, that experience of no time, and I think you used the the word parallel lives rather than past lives.
Yes, I was brought up to believe in past lives and reincarnation because my parents are Hindu and that's what I was brought up to believe. But when I was in the other realm and it seemed as though everything was happening simultaneously, I was aware of other lives with my brother and with my husband. And my husband and I are very close, but it didn't seem like past lives. It seemed as though it was happening simultaneously, but it seemed like everything was happening simultaneously. So when I came back into my body and I started to recall and started to talk about it, it was very difficult putting things into sequence because it felt as though when we're on the other side, there's no time, or time is not linear. It's like everything's happening at the same time, including what we call past lives. It's as though while we're expressing here through our physical bodies, We put things into linear time with our minds. Our minds need to do that so that we can understand, and it makes things more coherent or manageable for us. Our mind filters things, and we actually process everything one point of time at a time and create linear time. But on the other side, it doesn't feel like that at all. It feels as though everything's happening at once. and even, it's as though we are aware of everything that's happening all around us. It's not like you turn your head when you're in your physical body and you look at something and you can focus on something. It's not like that. It's like you're aware of everything that's happening around you at all times and all around you. Okay.
And what role does love play in this? Did you hear me speak the first half hour of the show?
Were you listening?
Yes, and I completely agree with you. You know, it's interesting because even when I heard that Osama bin Laden had been killed, I was thinking something very, very similar. I was thinking that the world is rejoicing, but I'm not sure it's something to rejoice about because all we did is perpetuate more killing. And that's what I was thinking.
Really? And you said something like when you came back that the great lesson that you learned from this experience experience, and then we'll talk about your healing, was to treasure your own magnificence and the magnificent— those were your words— to treasure your magnificence and to realize that you are pure, pure love. Did you feel that when you were experiencing— like the doctors, for example. I remember you saying you could hear the doctors actually talking about that you weren't going to survive this and all this. You could literally— but you felt love for them rather than disdain or worry or anger Yes, I felt love for everyone, even the—
every single doctor, everybody. I just somehow it was like I became them. It was like I understood that they were all doing— it's not a feeling, it's like I became one with them and I could feel what they were feeling. They were feeling they had to do something and they were doing what they knew best how to do. And their intention was good. It's like suddenly you can feel everybody's intention, not what they're actually doing, not the end result, but their intention. And I could feel what everyone was feeling, every nurse that came in, everything. I just— everything. When I came out of it, everything just looked so beautiful. It was like I was viewing the world and viewing everybody for the first time.
That's what I've been talking about, and that's happened for me in the last I don't know, the last 6 months, 8 months or so, there's nothing that I can look at. I can look at the wall and just love the wall. I mean, I can look at a vacuum cleaner and love a vacuum cleaner. It's just such an amazing— Do you know who John of God is? Have you heard of John of God down in Brazil?
I hadn't until you spoke about him. This is the first I've heard of him, and he sounds amazing.
Yes, it's the same kind of thing.
How long were you in the coma? How long were you, quote, in that NDE, or literally dead?
About 20 hours. It was overnight. It was— I went into the hospital one morning on February 2nd and started to come out of it the next morning on February 3rd. And you had been told that you had—
I mean, your husband had been told that you had maybe another day or so at the very most.
Is that correct? At the most, yeah. The doctors said that I wouldn't even make it through the night because my organs had now shut down and this was the final stages. And, um, and it's written in my medical file as well that they've informed the family that this is the end.
Okay, so there were like literally, to use you, there were billions and billions of cancer cells in your body and it was shutting down. All right, and then you awoke. And tell us then, you know, in, in the last 5 minutes or so, what happened after that and what's going on now? How— why are you talking to us now?
Why are you alive?
Well, I know one of the reasons you're alive is because your story is aligned with me. You are so aligned with me. I really feel like I know you. I don't know if you even know who I am or what I had done, uh, any of my work before this.
I do. I'm a fan of yours. It's funny because I do know who you are. I think you're amazing. I was thrilled when I got the email. I feel that, you know, I mean, this is my purpose, was probably to meet you, because, uh, what happened is that it was my birthday 6 weeks ago, and on my birthday day is when I got the email from Hay House saying that you had pointed them to my story. And when I looked at that email and it said that, you know, if I was to publish a book, that Hay House wanted to help me, and I looked at the email and I started crying. And I couldn't believe it. I'm still thrilled I'm talking to you.
While I was reading that, I thought, this is a story story that the world has to know. I predict that you're, um, you know, it is, it's not as about selling books, it's not about that, is that you are going to be one of the emissaries, uh, like I think I have been selected to, to really show the world that, you know what, I sent your story to my mother. My mother is 95 years old on April the 21st, and I sent that to her, and she thinks about death a lot because she's in a place. She's in an assisted living center where she sees people, you know, they're alive one day and they're not the next, and she wonders about it. We talk about it. I sent her that. She has had nothing but peace since she read that. My sister-in-law, who had a similar experience to you in 1971, was in a head-on collision and watched them working on her body. Just— she just said this confirms everything that, that had happened to her. You have helped so many people just through that, just through me me, but what your message is going to be to this world is we have to love each other. And when we do, that's really what it means to live God consciousness. It doesn't mean to recite the right words and go to church on Sunday.
No, it's, it's to live it.
So you came back because our time is going to be running out soon. You came back, uh, you, you awoke, and what happened?
What, uh, tell us. Well, when I came back, I was euphoric because it's like I had this awakening, although I was a bit groggy. And it, for the couple of days, I didn't— it was like I had one foot on each side. I was getting things confused. I was talking, and everyone was really surprised that I even woke up. And when the doctor came in to see me, this was the oncologist that I had never seen before. My own doctor hadn't come in yet, and the doctor came in— this was the one at the hospital who'd never seen me before, except when I entered as a coma— and he walked in, and I said to I said to him, "Good morning, Dr. Chan." And he said to me, "How do you know my name?" And I said, "Aren't you the one that was there when I entered the hospital?" And he said, "Yes, but you've been in a coma." And I said, "Are you sure?" Now, I didn't even realize I'd been in a coma because I was so aware of everything that was going on around me. And I said, "But you're the one that put the needle in my back and took the fluid out of my lungs." And he said, "You remember all that?" He was visibly very, very surprised. and, you know, and then he was also surprised that I had come out of the coma. So— but I was still weak and lying down, and so then when he left the room, I started to say to my family, like, "Why was he so surprised? And he's the one that said to you—" and I said to my husband, "He's the one that said to you that these are my last hours, that I'm not going to make it through the night. Isn't he?" He's the one that said that. And my husband said, "How did you even hear that? He didn't even say that in front of you. He said it outside the room, down the corridor." And I said, "Really?" And so then it all started to come out slowly, and I was still very, very weak, but in about 48 hours or so, they were like removing the oxygen, and then they started to take out the food tube, and I wanted to sit up, and I was feeling really euphoric because if I describe the feeling specifically, it's deeper than just loving everything. It's realizing that you are love, and it's— for me, it was like a new realization. I'd never known that before. I used to think that I had to learn to be loving to other people and would always judge myself. Am I loving enough? Am I not loving enough? But being in that experience, What I realized is that I am love. I cannot not be. How did that—
I quoted that in my new book, those words that you just said. So, um, 6— in 6 months or so, what happened? I mean, are you— were you cancer-free? Did— what— how did the doctors explain it? I was, yes.
Well, what they did was that after I came out of the NDE, after every test that they did after the NDE, they could not find any any trace of cancer. They would not believe there was no cancer, so they continued to give me drugs, but they did a little—
Anita, I just got a notice we just have a minute left. Where are you today? Is your body cancer-free?
Yes, it is. It's completely cancer-free.
You know, I'm, I'm doing— I don't know if you've heard, or look on the website— I'm doing a— taking a group of people to Lourdes, Assisi, and Medjugorje. If there's any possibility that you and your husband could get on that It's June 19th to the 29th. I'd love you to be on it. I have to close out.
I'm so sorry.
This has been the greatest show I've done in 5 years. Thank you for calling. I can't wait to meet you and write your forward and have you on my PBS show and tell the world about you. I love you.
Dr. Wayne Dyer is joining us now from Maui. And how's, how's it going post-Thanksgiving?
Feeling good? Going fine, going fine. I have an announcement to make that I wrote a book, uh, several years ago, um, back in the, in the '90s. It was called A Promise Is a Promise, and it was the story of a woman who was taking care of her daughter who was in a coma. It was about a, uh, the woman, her name was Kay O'Berra, and she, um, was taking care of her daughter. Slipped into a coma on the 3rd of January in 1970 when she was 17 years old. She was a diabetic, and she had taken an oral form of insulin insulin. And she got the flu and she vomited up all of her insulin. And so she slipped into this coma. And as she was slipping into the coma, she said to her mother, you won't leave me, will you? You won't leave me. And the last words her mother said to her, she said, no, I will never leave you. I promise. And a promise is a promise. So I read about her. It was 25 years after that in 1995 that I read a story about her in the newspaper down in Florida. Florida at my home. And I was just so touched by this woman's selfless dedication to her daughter and living up to her promise that she had actually sat next to her and put her in, into her home and would feed her through a tube and so on, and, and refused to have life support removed from her because she knew that she would starve to death and she just couldn't bring herself to do that. And, and so she stayed in coma, and the mother just slept in a chair next to her for 25 years. And then I got to know the family. I sent them a copy of one of my books that I had written, a book called Real Magic, and went down to visit them in Miami a lot and spent a lot of time with them and decided to write this book and to have all of the proceeds, all of the profits, all of the royalties and everything go directly to the family to help them with it. And then Kay died about, uh, oh, maybe 4 or 5 years ago. And meanwhile, Eduardo was still in the coma. Coma. And her sister Colleen, who had been in— actually had been incarcerated, and she has gotten herself addicted to, uh, to some kind of drugs. I'm not sure what they were, but she had gotten herself into trouble with the law. And when Kay got very sick, she came out of jail, and she just felt that Eduarda had saved her life, her sister's life. And then after Kay died, Eduarda— or Colleen took care of her up until the day before Thanksgiving. And then Colleen called me and she said I was the first person that she called. And Eduardo passed away on, I think, the 20th of November. It might have been the 21st at 7:15 in the morning, which is the middle of the night here, when she called and told me. So she was in a coma from 1970 until 2012. So yeah, she was almost 60 years old. She was 58 or 59 years old. And and they had taken care of her since she was a teenager. And there were many amazing stories about this woman. One time my son, Sans, who was about 11 or 12 at the time, was taking a shower and he came running out of the shower with a towel wrapped around him and said, Mom, Mom, Dad, Dad, you're not going to believe it. I saw Edwarter. She was in— she came into the bathroom and I saw her. I saw her in my shower. And there were other people who had reported these kinds of visitations from her. Had done healings with her and so on. So I wrote about a lot of those things in the book. It's called A Promise Is a Promise. And, uh, but anyway, a lot of people have asked me about her and so on, but, um, she left this earthly plane. And Colleen, who has taken care of her now for the last 5 or 6 years— we're talking 24/7 here— this is, you know, someone who has to be cared for continuously. And she just couldn't believe that she wasn't, uh, still alive. She just thought that she was just resting. When the nurse— they had a nurse that would come in 3 or 4 times a week. She came in and said, no, she finally passed in the middle of the night. So I think it might be the longest anybody has ever stayed in a coma and stayed alive.
Wow. No, I've never heard of that, of someone lasting that long in that state.
43 years. Wow. 42 years.
And just the family taking care of her for so long, that's just incredible.
Just an incredible display of, of unconditional love and a commitment to living up to a promise because Medicare or Medicaid or whatever it is wouldn't provide for it, wouldn't allow— for some reason the funding wasn't going to be allowed unless she was in a hospital and they wouldn't put her in a hospital because they just felt that they wouldn't be there in contact with them. So we used to go to her home all the time and my daughter would say, thing for them, and we would all just talk. And I always swore that Colleen would— or that Eduarda would know when I was there. I would just sense a smile from her. And an amazing story. That's, uh— so anyway, the book is still out there, and of course all the proceeds still go to the family, and I'm going to be helping them with the funeral and all of that because they have absolutely no money. They depended upon contributions. That's the only way they were able to sustain it and keep the food and so on. They had a doctor, his name was Dr. Chaykin, and he never charged for any of the service that he offered. Just a beautiful man who never charged them anything. But we were always doing fundraising for them. At many of my speeches, I would tell her story and just leave a little box on the stage, and people would come and put money in, and we would always make sure that she got it. And anyway, so it was kind of an interesting morning to get that call, totally unexpected. And I was such a— it was such a— they were such a big part of my life. In fact, in my book, uh, that I'm writing now, I Can See Clearly Now, I tell the story of what, uh, just to be able to be around people who are so selfless and who give so much. I remember when Kay had her birthday and I gave her a set of a pearl necklace that cost a few thousand dollars, and she just couldn't bring herself to, uh, to keep them. I mean, she just was— she just kept insisting, no, I have to, uh, This is for Eduardo. I'm going to sell them and all of that. And I said, no, you're not selling these. Okay. Whatever it was. Just anyway, they were just a beautiful, beautiful family. The O'Hara family. Many prayers go out there for Eduardo.
What a lesson for us about keeping your promises.
Yeah, it was one of my first books with Hay House. I'm feverishly searching the Hay House site right now to see if it's still there. Oh, there it definitely is. It's now out in paperback. It was out in hardcover. Hardcover. It was the first book, it was the first time for me that I had, you know, and any writing that I'd ever done or any royalties that I'd ever received or any profits from my writing, I always just, I invested or I made a part of my, gave to my family and things like this. This was the first time that I took this God-given talent that I've been given, the ability to write, and devoted it to writing for somebody else and having all of the proceeds and everything go to them. And it really was one of those moments of shifting in my life where I wasn't doing something for me, for Wayne Dyer, and what come my way. I remember going away and renting a place to stay. I stayed for about a month, and I interviewed Kay and everybody associated with it and listened to all of the recordings. But it was one of the most pleasurable writing experiences, maybe the most pleasurable writing experience I've ever had, because it was all about giving. I knew that every single thing that I was doing here and devoting this amount of time and so on, who was in the category of just offering and serving and doing something not because of what's in it for me, but how I might serve someone else. It's that I've spoken many times about the mantra of the ego is always more, more, more, and what's in it for me, what's in it for me. And the mantra of the higher self and the highest self is how may I serve, what may I do, and keep myself out out of it. And that was one of the beginnings for me of putting much more of my emphasis in my life on serving rather than on thinking about what I might get for it.
Wow, that's a beautiful— Eduardo was a great—
she was a great teacher, and so was Kay. But you have to imagine, Diane, about having a daughter that's in a coma from the time that she's 17 years old and a senior in high school and staying next to her and sitting up in a chair for 25 years and never getting a night's sleep in a bed because she had to be turned and she had to be fed every 3 hours and given her medicine and so on to keep her alive.
I can't even imagine that. How many times that she'd want to just give up and—
Yeah, there was no giving up in her. She was a— I had many, many wonderful evenings and, um, and many meals and so on and many wonderful times over in in that room with Eduarda lying there and talking to her and singing to her and bringing gifts and so on. So every year in March, on her birthday, she would have this party and people would come because I put it on TV. And in fact, I told Oprah about it. So Oprah came down and interviewed her quite a few years ago when she had her, you know, her own TV show, Daily Show, and she put her on there. And, and so the world was really knowing about her and people would fly from all over the world to come and see see her. And many people felt that they had, uh, spiritual experiences. And Kay was absolutely convinced that Eduardo would— when, when everyone else would go off to sleep, that her spirit would leave and go out and do healing work and, and things like that. And, and I know for certain that my son saw her because he's not the kind of— he wasn't the kind of kid, and he still isn't. He's 25 years old now, but I think when he was a young boy, who believed in any of this stuff, you know? He— but boy, he came running out of there and and named her and said that she was there. That's amazing.
Yeah, well, I did find a book on the Hay House website. It's available. You can add this one too.
You can read the story. It's a wonderful story. And when you're buying it, know that the royalties and the proceeds and all of that all will go to helping get that— get Colleen. She's lost her mother now. Her father passed away at about 3 or 4 years into the coma. Tumor. He just couldn't deal with it. It was such a struggle for him to— but the mother stayed with it and stayed with it. She passed away in her sleep a few years ago. And beautiful Colleen, who, when I talked to her the other morning, she was sobbing and she was saying, you don't understand, Wayne. She said, you just don't understand. She saved my life. She said, I was using drugs and I was stealing and I was in trouble and all that. And she, she gave me a reason to live, to serve her and to take care of her. And she said, I don't And then she was trying to, she was going through all of this inner pain about, I wonder if maybe I didn't do something right. Maybe I didn't put her medicine in right. Maybe I hope I didn't do anything to cause her to, you know, she was so beautiful.
Well, that'll bring that story back to light and people can check it out and read it for themselves.
It's amazing. Yeah, so that's it.
I'm definitely thankful, you know, for what I have after hearing that.
Yeah, you might want to read that. It's a wonderful story. You can read it in just a few hours. My wife actually wrote a chapter in there as well. It's the first time she'd ever published anything.
Wow. Well, we'll have people check that out. A Promise Is a Promise.
A Promise Is a Promise, right? Okay.
And we still have some time for calls. You want to—
Sure, let's do that. Yes, I'd like to.
Let's see, where should we go first? Let's go. Start at line number 1. Let's go to Jackie in Philadelphia. Hi Jackie, thanks for holding. You're on with Dr. Wayne Dyer. Hi, can you hear me?
Sure. Hello. Oh hi, can you hear me? I can.
Oh my goodness, I'm shaking.
Diana, and we're off to Philadelphia in the morning. Do you know that song?
Oh my gosh, I'm not nervous, I'm just so excited. I said if I get true, then I have to tell, you know, tell you what I wanted to tell you. But I want to start out by saying I'm a big fan. Ah, thank you. For many years read your books, listen to Hay House every week to your program because it gets me through my week. Ah, that's nice. And Diane, thank you for being there to help us get through it. Oh, my pleasure. Oh my gosh. Um, Wayne, I said if I got through to this call, and it's so ironic that you were telling this wonderful story as you started today, that I'm going to tell you this only because this is hurting my heart so much, and because of the love and the wisdom that you, you know, impart to us about relationships, that I just want to tell you this really quick and ask for your loving wisdom about it. Over the Thanksgiving holiday, at my daughter-in-law's house, my daughter and daughter-in-law had a dispute and they had a shouting fight, and, um, it was very upsetting. My teenage granddaughters were there and felt very sad. And of course, you know, I'm praying for peace, you know, to happen. And in the meantime, my daughter, after everything, you know, we left, she was angry with me because she said that I didn't stick up for her I wasn't in her corner, and I should have said, how dare she say those things to you? And I just kind of don't react that way. I'm more of like a peacemaker, right? I just want to see everyone be at peace. But if my daughter's telling me that this is hurting her so much because I'm not responding that way, I'm wondering what would be the more loving thing to do. And because I'm emotionally a little upset right now, I can't I can't seem to pull on that.
Well, the loving thing to do is exactly what you did do, which is to not take sides and to just be an instrument of peace and to try to have your daughter understand that, you know, that she doesn't need to have your approval or your support in order for her to feel good because— or to feel better because— but basically what she's saying to you behind all of it is, Mom, if only you were different, uh, in that moment, then I wouldn't have to be so unhappy. And she needs to understand that her unhappiness didn't come from the fact that you didn't support her. Her unhappiness comes from, uh, from the fact that she allowed herself to get into a shouting match with her, uh, what, what is she, her sister-in-law? Um, yeah. So, um, you know, when you— if you start going in there and apologizing, all the— but basically what you're doing is teaching teaching her that her emotional upsetness is the result of what you did or didn't do. And she needs to really know and understand that that's just not the way it is. I always think that, you know, like you take a situation like that and she's in the midst of a shouting match and then she gets all upset and there's a, you know, that you really are in the role that you're in there with her. You're really nothing more than just a reflection of what it is that she is— what she is sending out there. In other words, I always tell people, look, go and stand in front of a mirror and look in front of the mirror and frown, and then ask yourself, in order to make that frown go away on the person that I'm looking at in the mirror, do I go up to the reflection and try to make the mouth go up in order to make me feel better. Well, the fact is that, uh, you know, you don't go to the mirror and, and look at the frown in the mirror because there's nothing there. It's just a reflection of who you are. You— her anger towards you is just a reflection of something that she is doing to herself. And she really needs to know that, um, you know, that your love for her has nothing to do with whether you agree or don't agree with the people in a shouting match, and that you had just as much love and care and concern for your son's wife as you do for your own daughter, and that it's not about choosing sides.
I mean, that's, that's the way I would look at it from a logical point of view.
Now, there's a lot of emotion that gets involved in family, and it's like, you're not supporting me and you didn't do this, and that's the reason that I'm unhappy. But that's no different than saying the reason that I see a frown in the mirror is because I can't get the reflection to be what I want it to be. When she starts realizing that you don't have— she shouldn't be giving you that kind of power, uh, and you certainly don't want to have that kind of power. Now you've got to always watch out every time that she might be getting upset because of the way that you're reacting. And we need to always be responsible for how we're feeling ourselves and not putting it on anybody else, even if it's your own mother or your own child and so on. That's the way I see it.
Well, Wayne, I have to say thank you so much for this because, um, I'm so emotionally upset because she felt as if she wanted to cut me off in a way, like she was saying, you know, I won't talk to you unless you do this. But I just kept praying, and I said, wow, I can't believe that I got through to Wayne today, because at least I can feel, you know, that when you give your advice like this, it's done through peace and love and in a godly way. So I can feel trusting of it.
And yeah, and she wants to make it even— and now she wants— this is, this is really a reflection of what your daughter needs to really look at. And she might want to— you might want to tell her to listen to this show because it'll air several times today and all week. And now what she wants to do is exacerbate it and make it even worse by then cutting off her, her communication with her own mother because you're not living up to what she thinks that you should be. It's that old thing that we've been— I've been saying for as long as I can remember being out in public eye, when people say, if only you were more like me, then I wouldn't have to be unhappy with right now. If only you were seeing the world the way I see it, then I could be, you know, I wouldn't have to be so depressed or so upset. So people go around putting their upsetness on the reactions, the reflections that other people have in their lives. And once you explain to her that, that I am just about, you know, I'm just about love, I'm just about peace, and it's not about choosing sides, this isn't a war that we're involved here, this is just an opportunity for all of us together in harmony and peace and kindness and joy rather than in these other ways.
Thank you so much for that wink.
Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. As a matter of fact, I think that your daughter needs to— whatever, whatever unhappy words were spoken between the two of them, the best thing that your daughter could do would be to send some flowers or something to her sister-in-law and tell her that, you know, that I have, you know, I have a loving heart and I slipped back and, you know, I apologize for it. That's the best way to— yeah, she could end all of that very, very quickly. Very quickly. That's right. Yeah, she could end it all very quickly by just sending love to everyone because whatever the problem is, you know, the solution is always in having a loving heart. And a loving heart is absolutely—
Wayne, thank you. That's why I resonated with all of your stuff all, you know, over these years. Thank you so much for being there.
Have, uh, have you seen, uh, the— my film on My Greatest Teacher, the story of finding my father? And I haven't, no. Have you watched The Shift? Have you seen The Shift? In The Shift, either—
I have your books, but I haven't seen the movies.
You got to send— we're going to send you both of those movies for Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving. Send them in. Give one of them to to your daughter and tell her to lighten up. Thank you so much, Wayne. God bless you both. God bless you too. Namaste.
Boy, the holidays are just so emotionally charged, aren't they? I mean, I can imagine how many confrontations like that must have happened all over the country.
Well, and it's family.
It's, you know, it's like, you know, it's that whole thing. I often said that I'm going to write a book, you know, about family relationships, you know, and calling it, you know, Your Friends Are God's Way of apologizing for your relatives. Because that can be, you know, when we get into— we get into situations with our relatives, whether they're sisters or siblings or parents or whatever, and we have all of these expectations that, um, you know, you're, you're supposed to support me and you're supposed to do this, and if I say that, you're supposed to be there. And so, and the fact is that, uh, you know, all we— we just have to accept each other for— just because we happen to share the same genetics doesn't mean that we share all of the same views, right?
Or also, what do you think about this? If you have a difficult family member who's treating you horribly, and I've had people say, well, that's your blood, you just have to deal with it— I don't think that's true. Do you? No, not at all.
In fact, the holidays are a great time for that. It's like I always say, there's— every family has an Aunt Bertha or some— that's just the name that I picked. And, and when she comes over for Halloween, I was gonna say for Thanksgiving or whatever. That what you want to do when she starts in on the kinds of things that, you know, are just upsetting to you is just see how much love that you can send to this person. Just make up your mind in advance you're not going to allow this person to get to you. I've been practicing that. I practice it when my kids come all the time. They say things sometimes that I don't like, and they make noises that I don't want, or they put on TV shows that I don't want. And I just say to myself, don't say anything, don't say anything, just them. Just love them. That's all. That's all we got to do. And just let it go.
That's great advice. So let's go to Ray in Cheyenne, Wyoming. He's on line 5. And see what's up with Ray. Ray, thanks for holding. You're on with Dr. Dyer.
Actually, it's Roy, AKA Roy Rogers, your buddy.
Oh, hey, Roy. How's it going? Sorry about that.
It's been a while. The summertime since I last talked to you and everything. And yeah, nice to hear from time here. I always do because I wanted to talk to you a little bit about all these I Am discourses you've been pounding us with for over the summer and springtime. And I just wanted to tell you how I think they've been kind of working for me too. And that, you know, at first I kind of thought, yeah, I don't want to do it and everything, but, you know, I started doing it. And it's just like today, for instance, we had a dramatic temperature change in Wyoming today where it's barely over 30 degrees, and yesterday it was almost 60. And when I woke up, I was just— I was just— I didn't feel like getting out of bed. I'm really tired. And I just keep telling myself, I am energy, strength. And when I'm in my— doing my workouts now, I started doing my workouts, even if I'm in pain or if I don't feel like finishing them, I just keep saying that I'm endurance, I am endurance. And I somehow manage to get through them. But I think the most incredible thing that's happened to me is when I was reading that had in some of your other books over the summer about the I Am discourses is about prosperity. And what I often do when I run— I don't always work out at the gym, I often run to the gym and finish it up there and then run home, especially when it's warmer— and I tell myself I'm prosperity and I am all that. Well, what I've noticed is, is that every now and then in the past I've always found, you know, maybe a dollar bill here every now and then, or a five somewhere on the street and all that. But there was a period of time in the late summer and early fall where it just seemed like every time I was— I turned around, I was finding $10 bills and $20 bills in the vacant lots that I was running through or off the sidewalk. I mean, I found $30, just 3 $10 bills within a minute run of each other over this summer, over the one day during the summertime. Just $10 bills just sticking right out, right off the field from the sidewalk.
Really? Those were mine. Those were— those were mine, Roy. I dropped those. I was— I was out there running as an in Wyoming, was it? Yeah. Did they have Hamilton on the picture of Hamilton on the, on the front?
Alexander?
Yeah, I think they had your picture on it.
They might have. Oh, okay. Then they weren't the ones.
But no, no, but what I wanted to say more, and it leads a little bit even more, so you got that out of the way. Well, just really quick, I just want to tell you that ever since I've been doing that, what I've been noticing is, is I've been, no, ever since I've been doing the I AMs, for some reason I even feel a little bit more sensitive to to reach out a little bit more to other people too. And I was watching this TV show, I think it was on MSNBC, Lockup. I watch shows about— right, and all that, you've heard of it. And normally I don't think much of it, I just watch the show just in it. But there was this one guy that was on there a few weeks ago that— and for some reason, you know, just from what he was talking about his life, and, and he's serving a life sentence, and he keeps— and when he's been given chances, he struck out, and he keeps going back. And he kind of reminded me a little bit of my father. And then he said some stuff about one of my favorite things, which is coffee. And I thought to myself, just the way he worded it, and I said, I'm gonna send something to him. I just, for whatever reason, I just thought, I'm gonna reach out to this guy. I've never done that before. Well, I did, and I, and I even put a little bit of money into his fund to help him maybe buy a little more coffee. And and all that. And you want to know what he did? He sent me a letter back and he told me that really quick, that he said that, you know what, this is a very cold and lonely place, that just you reaching out to me, it was like a ray of sunshine. Wow. And so I started to try to write to him just because I, like I said, and just to show that somebody cares, because I, I— that's another thing you've told us to do is— and there are a lot of people out there way more forgotten than we think we are. We think we may have it bad, and yet there are people who are just totally forgotten and nobody cares. And even if they've made mistakes more serious than ours and all that, or if they're on the streets for whatever reason because of drugs or whatever, you know, it's like we often just forget about them. And so I I guess this is what's happened with you, Roy.
What's happened is that you're using the term I am a lot. This is how it started. It's very fascinating what you're saying to me. That's why I'm just listening and letting you talk. So you've been using the words I am. I am content. I am energized. I am prosperous. And every time you use the term I am, you're really saying the name of God. I mean, this is right out of the Torah, right out of the book of Exodus. You can look up in the book of Exodus. Exodus 3, I think it's 18, where Jesus— or God speaks to Moses and says, my name is I Am That I Am, and that shall be my name for all future generations. So that's— that, that means that's this generation as well. So the name of God is the name of I Am. And when he said I Am That I Am, he's really saying the word that means everything. It's that everything that you look at— you look at a surfboard, I Am That. You look at a tree, tree. I am that. You look at each other, you look at the people who are supposed to be your enemy, you look at the ones that you're speaking about who are more forgotten, and you remind yourself of what all of the saints say. It's what Mother Teresa said. You know, every day she said, I see Jesus Christ in all of his distressing disguises. I see God in everything and everyone. And when you start practicing and then just simply saying those words, I am content, I am peaceful, I am happy, I am I am love. And you continuously say that you begin to act like God because you take on the name of God. And how does God act? The way that you just described, Roy, is the way God acts. He offers— God just offers us, you know, whatever it is, asks nothing in return, doesn't demand anything, doesn't want us to necessarily love him or celebrate him or anything like that. Just this is— and I even use him. I mean, it's like him. Him, her, it, whatever it is. It's a divine intelligence from which all things are intended, to which all things return. And when you start saying that name and recognizing that every time you say the name I AM, you're using the name of God, you don't want to use it in vain. I mean, that's one of the things in the Book of Joel. It says, let the weak man say I am strong. And as you begin to say these things, not that I will be and I hope to be, but that I am these things, you begin to take on what's called God realization, a higher level of consciousness. And then you are— that, that motivation that you had when you watched the lockup show on MSNBC to go to that guy, that really was a reflection of the fact that you have been bringing yourself more in alignment with divine intelligence, with God, with divine love. And that's how it gets manifest. And when more of us do this, that collectively, when enough of us begin to do this and behave in these ways on a regular basis without asking anything back in return. I mean, you didn't send that money to the guy hoping that he would pay you back. You sent it because it was just— it was something in your heart that's— and it's in alignment with what I was just talking to with the lady in Philadelphia as well, that you just align yourself with love, you know, and love everything and everyone, because I am that. I am that. And the I Am discourses were very instrumental in teaching me to be in a state of gratitude for that I AM presence. That is who you are, you know, to give thanks for it, that there is something internal to you independent of this body that you're in, this invisibleness within you which is God, and to give thanks for that and to be in a state of constantly giving. And I'll bet you, you're going to also find something, Roy, that the more of this that you do, the more that you'll see showing up in your your life. That's what these $10 bills that you're finding and things like that, that the more of that that begins to show up as well.
I do what you do too. Even when you talked about on your PBS show, even if when I used to find pennies on the street, I say thank you, universe, even if it's just a penny. That's what you do too.
I do. I've always done that. Every time I find a coin or a— I say thank you, God, for the symbol of abundance that continues to show up in my life. That's the statement that I make. And by the way, I was swimming not too long ago. I mean, I swim every single day in the ocean, and I put the goggles on and, you know, I'm looking down at the fish and all of that. And, uh, when, as I was swimming, uh, a $10 bill was down about, oh, maybe 20 feet down that had just was on the bottom of the ocean. And I had, I dove down and I couldn't quite get down that far without my ears starting to back up, and I went back all the way up to the top. And I said to myself, I said, I know that I can go down 20 feet and get that $10 bill. And sure enough, I took a big, you know, lungful and went straight down and just kept pushing, pushing, got myself the $10 bill, almost passed out doing it. But I said, there was a $10 bill just at the bottom of the ocean saying, here, this is for you. And that kind of thing happens all the time on a regular basis. And it's not always about money. It's about friendship. It's about the right thing showing up. It's about synchronicity. It's about whatever you place your attention on, whatever your mind is thinking about, that you align with that and then it hardens into an object. That's what wishes fulfilled is really all about. It's like hardening thoughts into physical objects that we're all capable of doing because everything that is physical originates in the world of spirit. Everything. So why do you mind on that?
Well, I told the inmate, well, that in my second letter to him that I sent out last week, that I was inspired by many of your teachings, and that, and that I said to him that, you know, if your library in your prison has, has any books by Wayne Dyer— and I'm sure that you do, you probably are— probably books. Yeah, yours in prisons that, you know, get some of those and everything like that. Plus, I think he can use them.
My PBS show airs in prisons as well. Roy, before you leave, leave your address and I'll have Diane give it to me. And I'm going to send this guy, uh, something as well. I'm going to send him a check, whatever his name is. And what prison is he in?
Well, he's in Florida. He's in a— should I tell you the specific name? But he's, he's incarcerated in the state of Florida.
And in the state of Florida— no, don't say it over the air because who knows. But, uh, just put your name and address and I'll send it through you, okay? Yeah.
And then I, I promise you I'll send it to him. And oh, I know that he would. Yeah. And because you are a good man. And it, like I said, it's incredible how you're— it's like what you say, sometimes it's hard to believe because it's like when I feel tired, I don't feel like saying I am energy. Or when I'm feeling kind of low with the low pressures, beating the weather in Wyoming, it's like I don't feel like saying I am. And sometimes it seems dumb, but I guess it's better than being defeated. And you never know, it— you'd be surprised, it does help me.
It has helped me get Well, I do, you know, I do yoga class like 3 or 4 times a week, intensive yoga, Bikram yoga in a hot studio. And there are times when I just don't know whether my body can do that for 90 solid minutes at the age of 72. And I just always say, I am energized, I am well, I am. And I'm basically, I'm very often the oldest person in the room, but I never, ever, ever have to sit down or give up on a posture. I do both sets of every single single asana through all, you know, by simply just saying, I am well, I am content, I am strong. Let the weak man say I am strong. And I just say that to myself. And I say it also to— I have my children always say it when they wake up and say, I'm tired. I say, you'll never hear those words come out of me. I don't say I am tired. I say I am energy. And I don't ever say, you know, I am unhappy. I just say, you know, I am content. I am peaceful.
It's like that little book you wrote, those little books that had one-page sayings on them, like for children. There was one that stood out this summer before I let you talk to the other callers and everything, but it was something to the effect, the way you feel prosperous is think of all the things you are thankful for, and you can never feel unprosperous, something to that effect.
Do you remember that? Absolutely, absolutely.
Think of everything you've got, you'll never feel a lack of prosperity, right?
Well, don't think about what you don't have unless you want more of what you don't have to keep showing up, you know. And don't think about what's missing missing and talk about what's missing, because when you do, you align with the consciousness of missing. And so the universe will send you more evidence that stuff is missing from your life. When you say, I am prosperous, you align with the universe, the universal divine mind which controls everything, that says, uh, so prosperity is how you feel inside. Here's another example of it, and you'll start seeing it showing up— $10 bills all over the place.
Well, I'll get back with you early next year sometime, and I'll let you know how he's doing.
Okay, leave your address, leave his name. I'm going to send him a check. Okay.
Yeah. Okay. For Christmas. Thank you. Okay. Thanks, Roy.
Say hello to Trigger. Okay. For me.
Yeah. Hi. Yeah. He loves you. He loves to love you.
Do you know that Roy Rogers used to sing a song that I think is the theme song of The Spirit Inside of Us? And the song goes like this. Oh, give me land, lots of land and the starry skies above. What is it? I don't know.
I've heard it. Don't fence me in.
There you go, Diane. Don't fence me in. Don't fence me in. Let me ride through the wide open spaces that I love. Diane, don't fence me in. There you go. We are terrible. I know. But that's the theme. That's the theme. Don't fence me in. Let me expand. Let me grow. Let me be love. Love is always expanding. Expanding. Okay, let's take another call. Thanks, Roy.
Leave your address. That's great.
What a great story. Yeah, he's a great guy. And, uh, she's on line 6 in Pennsylvania, Wimber, Pennsylvania. And Monica, thanks for holding. You're on with Dr. Dyer. Hello. Hi, Monica.
How are you, dear?
I'm fine, thank you. How are you?
I'm great. Is this Monica Lewinsky?
Is this the— no. Oh that for years.
I'm sure you have. She disgraced my name. Not really. No, I know she just was doing what she knew how to do. She was just, you know, misled.
Oh, you are something, Wayne.
Oh, thank you. So are you. So are you, Monica.
Thank you. Okay, I have a— I just have a question. I've heard you talk that you have, or you did have, a child that suffered with addictions. Yes, still, still struggling. Okay, see, I have one too, my 30-year-old son Michael, and he's addicted to the painkillers and the alcohol, and it just kills me. It kills me.
I, you know, I—
and I'm so sensitive whenever he gets gets to being negative that I just, I can't even be around him.
And I just don't know what to do.
I pray all the time. I ask Archangel Michael to— I've heard Doreen Virtue talk about asking Michael to vacuum out, you know, anything negative out of him. And I just wondered if there's any advice you could give me on how to deal with this. I feel if you have you who are like, like, you're like the father of self-improvement. You're just like so amazing that if you, as good as you are, you have one that struggles and you can't—
like, Monica, not only do I have one that struggles, I have struggled with this in my life as well. Yeah, I've— I haven't had a drink in 25 years of alcohol, but I drank plenty of it before that.
But you want to see— my son will say, well, you've never been addicted.
It's like—
and I— my thing is I would never allow myself to get addicted because I love— you know, it's that self-respect.
Yeah, but there's a chemical component to this whole thing as well, especially if you take enough of this stuff, especially with the prescription things. And there's so much of it out there. I mean, it's really an outrage. I mean, how many young people are really addicted to things that they can just get, um, they can just get a prescription prescription for, or get it without a prescription. They know how to do it. Esther Hicks speaks brilliantly about addiction and said, you know, that you, you know, love is the only answer. It's always the only answer. It doesn't mean that you have to be victimized. It doesn't mean— but you just have to fill your heart with love for this young man, as I do for my daughter who's 29 years old. But I also have let her know that it's like, I'm not going to be your victim. I'm not. These are choices that you are making, and if you're going to make this choice, you know, I'm still going to love you. I'm going to love you through, but I'm not going to be around to be the recipient of the abuse that comes with it. And that's where you have to really draw the line there and let them know. I think that the most significant thing I ever heard about addiction, and it helped me in overcoming— and my— I have positive and I have negative addictions that I've dealt with in my life through, you know, the alcohol and drugs and eating and things like that, sugar. And also I've had positive addictions, you know, I mean, where I ran every day for almost 30 30 years without missing a day. 29 years, 8 miles. I mean, and I still, even today, I mean, I swim. My daughter said to me last night, my oldest daughter is here with me for, you know, for us here for Thanksgiving. And it was cold and it was about 6 o'clock and it was getting dark and I hadn't swam yet. Something had happened and I went out. She said, well, you just, you don't have to swim today. She said, it's cold and it's windy out there. I said, no, I swim every day, you know. That's just so— that's a sort of like a positive addiction, like brushing your teeth. And so the most important thing I ever heard about addictions that helped me the most and helped my daughter a lot along the way for her was from Patti Davis, who was President Reagan's daughter, President and Nancy Reagan's daughter. And she was a cocaine addict and, um, was very heavily into it and loved it and wrote an essay about it in Newsweek magazine called My Turn. You might— you can look it up. You can Google that and find that. It's a brilliant piece. And she said that she, she tried to— she, she was just— she— here she was, the daughter of the President of the United States, and she said, I just knew that I was causing him such headaches, and I didn't want to disappoint him, and I didn't want to disappoint my mother, who was always just— Nancy Reagan, who was always just so upset with the fact that I would actually do these drugs. She just said, you know, just say no. That was Nancy Reagan's famous And she said, and then I didn't want to disappoint my boyfriend, and I found that I was disappointing him, and I didn't want to disappoint myself. And she said, and on all these times, I just kept always ending up still disappointing everybody. She said, then it finally hit me that I decided that I no longer wanted to disappoint God. And she said, when I made that connection and realized that who I am at the highest place within myself is God, God, you know, that I, the name I Am, I Am God. And that's what looks out from behind my eyeballs. And that's, and I came from that and I returned to that. And all the rest of this is physical. It's just, it's really nothing. It's all illusion because it's constantly changing. But there is a component of me that is eternal and that is invisible. And I decided I no longer wanted to disappoint God. I came from perfection. I came from well-being. When you come from well-being, you don't come with a addiction, and I will return to well-being. And I decided I just wanted to no longer disappoint that highest aspect of myself. And she said it didn't change my desire to do the cocaine. She said I still loved doing it. It still made me feel great. It was a wonderful feeling to do it. She said, but there was this part of me that just said I'm disappointing my well-beingness, which is my godliness. And that, that's what ended it. And that's what you need to help your son to to find the God within himself. You know, whatever he wants to call it, it doesn't have to be— it's not a religious thing at all. That highest place within himself and just say, that's the part of me that really wants to be sober and wants to serve and wants to help the world and wants to help other people. And you can't do that because addiction is really— the bottom line behind addiction is the word that's constantly saying, you know, I really can't get enough of what I don't want. You know, I can't get enough of what I don't want. I don't want to be— I don't want to be addicted. I don't want to be out of control. I don't want to be all of those things, and yet I can't get enough of it. It's chasing after what you don't want. And then when you start really just chasing after what you are, which is well-being, it becomes something you can just walk away from. And he'll be able to walk away from that in a meditative state. Let's send him a copy of, uh, of, uh, Wishes Satisfied. Leave your address and get his name and we'll send it off to him as a gift, as a Christmas gift.
Okay, thank you so much.
Thank you, thank you, my dear. God bless you. Yeah, namaste. Thanks for your call. I know we just have a few seconds left, but the addiction issue is a huge one in our culture. It's huge. Obesity is huge in our culture. You know, addiction to prescription drugs, bigger and bigger and bigger all the time. And finding God within yourself and not wanting to disappoint, that, that's the way to end it.
Some great callers today, Dr. Dyer. Some great advice you're giving today. And everyone, thanks for joining us. Dr. Dyer, welcome.
Good morning, how are you?
I'm doing very, very well this morning. That's great.
I guess it's not morning anywhere else, but I'm in Hawaii.
I'm stuck in the same time zone all day long.
What's going on in your life this Well, I've just been giving a little thought to something that I was talking to my friend Byron Katie about just a few weeks ago at a seminar that we did, which I believe is going to be put out by Hay House as well in another month or two. It was an all-day seminar. She spoke about not being in other people's business. I've given that a lot of thought, and there are a lot of ways that that is something that interferes with us, especially with our own happiness. Happiness and fulfillment as people. One of the things that I've noticed a lot, I don't know if you've noticed it, Summer, but if you look on the newsstands recently, you're going to see just a proliferation of these gossip magazines. And they all look almost the same. There used to be one or two. There was like People Magazine and Us Magazine and a few others. But now there must be 50 of these things that are out there, and they all cover the same same things, the same people. I think it's Angelina and it's Jennifer and it's Brad and maybe a handful of others, people who are celebrity-type people. And they, and they have photographers following them around wherever they go. And every one of these magazines, in fact many of them, just use the same pictures over and over and over again. And every week it's the same, it's the continuous thing. And I keep thinking about why are there so many of these now? Why is it— there must be a a great deal of profit in that. And why is this one great big profitable item that the American people seem to be just obsessed with, with the, the business of other people? Like the, you know, who's had plastic surgery, who's pregnant, who looks pregnant, who looks like maybe they would want to be pregnant, who looks— you know, every story is just sort of a continuation of, of people being obsessed with other people's business. And one of the things that I've learned specifically in the last year or so working on on my new book called Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life, which won't be out until later this year, but it's on living the Tao. And many of you who follow this radio show know that I have been working on writing individual essays about the 81 verses that Lao Tzu wrote about 2,500 years ago and how to apply this ancient and powerful wisdom. So what I've done is, you know, I've looked at this whole concept of not intervening not interfering in our lives and not being obsessed with other people's lives. The Tao teaches us that non-interference is the most important thing and most important place that we can go to in our lives. So I was just the other day, I was assigned to sort of a little babysitting adventure with my grandson and two little girls. And I was watching them for 3 hours out by the pool. And I noticed I was trying to practice this non-interference, staying out of other people's business and just making sure that these are 3 little children that know how to swim and all that, but just make sure that they're safe. But anything else, just stay out of their business. I had made up my mind I'm going to just stay out of their business. And I would watch the 2 of them would go together down at one end of the pool and they'd be fighting about something and they'd be arguing about this and then they'd want to come and tell me to resolve it. And it was back and forth, back and forth with this continuous trying to include me in their business. And I was I was determined that I was going to stay out of their business. I would watch as— like I was in the pool with one of the little girls, her name was Kylie, and she started being unhappy about something that her sister had said or my grandson had said. I looked at her and I said, "Well, you get that resolved and I'll be right back." I dove down to the bottom of the pool, swam to the other edge of the pool. By the time I got to the other end of the pool, maybe 20 seconds later, I stuck my head up and the two of them were hugging. And I found that over a 3-hour period that I could completely stay out of the business of these little children, and they could resolve it themselves and were learning much, much more than just having one great big person come along and interfere. Now, there's an application between that and these gossip magazines, as strange as it may sound, and that is that I think that if you— who you are, whoever you are— if you're obsessed with the What somebody else is doing in their life, who they're dating, what their sex life is like, whether or not they've gained weight, whether or not they've had a boob job, whether or not— the endless kind of obsession with this kind of information is something that you might really want to take a look at and ask yourself, am I in my business or am I in somebody else's business? And if I'm continuously putting my focus on what somebody else is doing, what I'm really doing is shifting the energy away from from living my life to its absolute fullest and instead living through the accomplishments or the lack of accomplishments or the bad news or the hard times or whatever it is of other people. I urge you to just not participate in that, to stop purchasing those kinds of things, to stop simply reading them. Don't even open them up and look at that. Instead, look within. Look at your own life because basically what we need, I think, are people who are fully committed to making this world a better place rather than just constantly being consumed with gossip about who's doing what and how it's taking place. So that's all I wanted to speak about today, this idea of staying out of other people's business, even your own children's business. One of the great lines that I remember from some of my earlier writing was that the things we love, we have to learn to leave alone. The things we love, we have to learn to leave alone. And I was practicing that with my own little grandson. Children, and I watched as they resolved virtually everything rather than having me interfere. What do you think about that, mama of two?
I think it's a profoundly simple idea that is incredibly complex to actually execute.
Yeah, well, mothers always say that.
Stay away from the fireplace. I'm going to interfere.
But there's a big difference there between, you know, obviously if you bring children into the world, you can't just say, "All right, go out there and play next to the swimming pool. I know you don't know how to swim. If you fall in, you'll work it out." I'm not saying that at all.
I know that, but being attuned to the difference of where you really are needed versus where you can step back.
Yeah, but you'd be surprised how often our young children invoke us to resolve conflicts or difficulties or even tiny little problems that if we just gave them maybe another 20 or 30 seconds they could resolve it. And I don't mean just little children either. I'm talking about teenagers. I'm talking about your adult children. I'm talking about your friends and everything else. Pretty much a lot. Allowing other people to figure it out when there's no danger is— it's just something to look at and realize that by getting dragged in there yourself, almost always you become a part of their problem. And now, you know, and especially if you have two children there and you take sides with either one of them, then the other the other one is going to be upset, and then back and forth you go. Right.
No, I hear exactly what you're saying, but you have to keep your mind attuned to that process. Right. Exactly. Well, Dr. Dyer, I think we have time actually to go right to a call.
Let's fill it up with a couple of calls.
Wonderful first section. We have Katie from Raton, New Mexico. Katie, welcome to our show today.
Hello, how are you? Hi, Katie.
Hi, Dr. Dyer. How are you?
Good. You're in New Mexico? Yes. I just saw a movie called Little Miss Sunshine. Oh yes. Did you see that?
Well, actually I haven't seen it, but I've heard of it.
But it's from— they're going from Albuquerque to Los Angeles.
Yes. They're starting to film a lot out here.
Are they? Yeah, they must be. In Albuquerque mainly. Yes, right. Well, how are you today?
Oh, I'm pretty good. I was listening to you talk, and I guess my question is a little different, but— That's okay. I was wondering, you know, you're talking about living inspired, and I am doing pretty good with— I am very inspired, but what I'm having trouble with is maintaining that. I guess there's so many things that can— I have— I'm starting a new business, and it's a greenhouse business growing tomatoes. Actually, I've been doing this, but I'm expanding into a pretty large business now, and I'm a little nervous about it. But I'm very inspired to do it, and I keep getting— I don't know if I'd call them signs or something from the universe that this is the right direction. What are the signs? Things like things start working out or I talk to people that would maybe buy my product and they are very inspired about what I'm doing. The problem I'm having is the people around me that are close to me don't believe in this at all.
Well, this is related exactly to what I was talking about. They are in your business, aren't they?
Well, very much. My father is the main one, which I'm 50 years old but he still likes to get into my business. I mean, I love him and he's very supportive. Very helpful, but he's very negative and he is very afraid for me to go into any kind of debt, let's say, because he's afraid, you know, he's just afraid. But he was always a gambler and a goer and a risker, risk-taker and all that. But now he's almost 80 and he doesn't want to see his daughters doing it, right?
Right.
And I cannot live the uninspired life that he just keeps asking me, why can't you just be happy with what you're doing in the status quo? But I would die. I would literally die.
There you go. That's why I had You. That's the answer. When people say that to me, I'm 66 years old and I'm, you know, if you look at my website, you'll see a whole host of weekend seminars and trips that I'm going to be taking around the country and going, going to Europe. Yes. And all of these kinds of things. And basically, I should just stay home and relax. I've done enough, right? But you have enough money. Come on, stick around. I want to talk about this.
It's really important.
You know, one thing that you said there that I just wanted to really reiterate before we leave is that you said that if I don't do it, I would die.
Well, I just don't see myself maintaining the status quo that I'm at right now.
Yeah, and what is that status quo?
Well, I'm working, I have my little greenhouse. It's only running 6 months out of the year, so right now I'm not— actually, I'm just getting ready to start up again. Uh-huh. But it's just not enough, you know. It's small and it's nice, and I enjoy helping the people that I help, but I've always had a bigger vision than What do you love about this greenhouse tomato business? Well, what I really love is the idea of producing really quality food and be able to deliver it.
And when you're in the process, when you're doing it, like when you're digging and when you're planting and when you've got the seeds and when you see the little shoots come out of the ground—
Yes, to me it's just all a miracle.
Isn't it? I mean, isn't it? It's almost like giving birth, isn't it?
It is. It is. And I get very excited over very little things. Like a plant that maybe I brought back to life because I paid more attention to it. I might be really excited about that, but I am having trouble finding other people that get as excited as I do.
Do you think it's possible for your father, for example, you gave one person, to have that same feeling inside of him about that as you do? Do I think it's possible? Yeah, I mean, do you think it's plausible?
Well, I think he does also see things sometimes. He fought me on this little business I started. When I started and said, "It's perishables and you're going to lose all your money and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and you can't go against the big box stores." I just had a lot of faith and I've done way better than he ever thought I could do. For him, if you make a lot of money or make money doing it, it's successful. He's kind of of that frame.
One of the great lessons that I learned as a young doctoral student from Abraham Maslow, one of the great teachers in my life, was that When he was describing people who achieve at the highest level, who reach what he called self-actualization at the very top of the pyramid, he had two assessments of them. One is that these are people who are detached from outcome. They are detached from outcome. And the other one is that they are independent of the good opinion of other people. Those are the two number one and number two criteria. Detached from outcome. That's why I was asking you about the process. Of what it is that you do, of the digging, of bringing a plant back to life, of the excitement that you feel in participating in the dance of creation, which is what you are doing. That's what I get excited about. Yeah, and it's like letting— self-actualizing people let go of the outcome. They don't do what they do because of how much they're going to make, because it's going to make them successful, because they're going to get on the bestseller list, because they're going to sell a lot of tomatoes. Tomatoes. They do it because it's just an exquisite thing and it just has to grow.
It is really exquisite.
That's what I would suggest to you as well. You want to live an inspired life? You just do what your heart tells you you're here for. It just makes your heart sing, what you're doing. I can hear that in you.
Right, I do. I mean, that's the time I'm very excited. What bothers me, I guess, is when I try to share it with my family or people close to me and they just don't get it or it's not exciting to them. And then I'm sort of left with this inspiration by myself a little bit right now.
But that's, you know what, that's, that's this, that's another part of this whole process is that the moment that you try to share what it is that you are doing that makes you feel so close to God, the minute that you try to do that, you invoke the ego. Because what happens is you're going to now have to explain it and defend it or be upset because other people don't understand And that's ego. And ego isn't where you're getting all of this inspiration from. You're getting it from spirit. That's what it means to be inspired, to be in spirit.
So the ego is trying to get the approval of others. Exactly.
So what you want to do is you want to detach from that and you just want to go out there and do it. And if somebody comes along who gets excited about it, like I can feel your excitement about these tomatoes, I really can. And I know what that feels like because I sometimes get excited about tomatoes. Sometimes I'll get a little thing of plant seeds that somebody will send me in the mail, just a little thing. Sometimes they implant them in greeting cards. I don't know if you've seen these now. And they just say tear the greeting card up and plant it in the dirt and just water it. And I do that and a week goes by and two weeks go by and all of a sudden this tiny little green thing just shoots up out of it and it's like one of the greatest feelings that you can have in life to know You know that you're participating in this dance of creation. Right. And I don't try to tell anybody else about it. Someone will come out and look at that thing on my patio and say, "What, you got weeds growing in there?" Yeah, exactly.
Exactly. Well, and I have a lot of cactus, and when I go in there in the mornings, every one of them is different, and I may have new blooms every morning, or, you know, something exciting has happened over the nighttime, and I can go in in the morning and it's like sitting there looking at me. I get so excited about the way the bloom looks. How is it possible that this little cactus—
this is where you have to stay, Katie. You really have to stay with it. And when you said to me, I would die inside if I wasn't doing this, I remember somebody asked that of Madonna, you know, the singer Madonna. And they asked her, like, you know, you've made millions and millions of dollars, you're very wealthy, why do you continue to put out albums? Why do you keep singing? And I'll never forget what she And she said, "Because if I didn't do it, I would die inside." So whether it's singing or whether it's your tomatoes or whether it's— for me, it's my writing or my speaking or whatever it is, whoever you are out there, whatever it is that makes your heart sing, stay with that and the universe will take care of the details. The profits are just not that important.
I promise you. Thank you, sweetheart. Thank you so much. What a lovely call.
Thanks. God bless you. Thank you.
Interesting metaphor there for, for living.
Yes, it really is. That's something, that thing that excites us. And none of us, none of us— everybody has it. So for somebody, it's just throwing a baseball, you know, just getting out there and doing that all day long. For somebody else, it's sitting and drawing. One of my kids would just sit there and draw and draw and draw and draw. One of my children would just get— all she could think about was horses. That went her whole life, all she could. And when she got her horse and she would get on that horse, I mean, her her whole institution, as a person, everything about her would shift because of the joy that she felt. She had connected to her source, and that's what we're talking about here.
Well, I can see that this is going to be an interesting hour of calls, Dr. Dyer, because we're going now to Sue in Irvine, California on line 9, and I think she also has a similarly unusual question for you. Sue, welcome to our show.
Hi, Dr. Dyer.
I'm such a fan of you. I can't believe I'm talking to you.
Thank you, that's nice to talk to you.
My question is just, I have a son, he's 24 years old, and he's getting his master's degree this year in public policy. But right now he's getting involved with, you know, hard metal band group. With what? Like a hard metal music, you know.
Yes, hard metal. Yes, yes.
And then, and you know, Dr. Dyer, this is totally very, very different for us because we are not American I'm from the Middle East and this is so against our culture because all our children are either engineers or doctors or always professionals. And then, you know how you were saying that if you love someone you leave them alone?
Yeah, we have to learn to love the things we love, we have to learn to leave alone. Yeah. I mean, and the truth of that is, you know, it's like if you really love something and you try to help it out, get in the way of it. There's a wonderful— and I'll get back to the hard metal thing in a moment— but there's a wonderful story. I always remember this from when I was back in graduate school. They would film these little baby chickens that were inside. They could actually see through X-rays. They could see them as they were trying to poke their little beaks against the shell in order to get out, okay, to become born. And they would struggle and struggle and struggle, and it's such a hard little thing because they've got these tiny little things inside of this eggshell, and they have to break that shell. So that some of the students, what they would do is they would try to help the little bird along by just cracking it a little bit so it would be easier for it. And every single time, one of the students that were doing this, in their sympathy and in their desire to help this other person, or this little tiny baby chicken, they would— the chicken would die. The thing would— every single time it would die. But the ones that were left alone, the ones that, you know, because the part of the process apparently for being born for a little tiny chicken is that it has to, it has to go through that struggle, that, that real, real, real hard exertion is what gives it the strength to be able to break through and, and to move on. And I think we have to remember, it's a simple little metaphor, but we have to remember it with our own children as well and with, with everyone else, and especially even a 24-year-old girl. If he is feeling deeply within him that this kind of heavy metal music is something that is his calling and he's really attracted to it, I think letting him go might be the way. Don't go away. We'll come back to it, okay? Okay. Well, is it a band that he wants to start? Yes.
Well, no, he is right now in a band. He plays bass there. How's he doing? Believe it or not, I I just saw it once and I couldn't stand it at all. I was like, I was going crazy. I thought, this is not my son. We're all laughing.
What do you think he should be singing? Oh, Solo Mio?
That was the last program we had our opera singer on from New York, remember?
I do.
No, but Doctor, you know, I'm so involved with it because every time I see these movies about these hard metals, they're always involved involving drugs and alcohol. But that's not the case.
That's only some of them. I mean, there are some of the— there are rappers for Jesus that are out there. There are hard metal people who are singing songs that are really attempting to, you know, who are against violence and who hate the wars and so on. I don't know where your son stands on that, but all I know for sure is that if he's in that band and if he's playing it and if he feels that it's something that he has to do and it's not interfering with anybody else's, you know, life and not hurting anyone, then I think giving him your blessing would be probably the best thing that you could do.
But doctor, how about the investment we did for him for so many years for going to school? He could have not— you know what I'm saying? Because he could have done this without even going to school. But he's only 24.
I mean, he's 24 years old. I mean, it doesn't mean that when he's 50 he's going to still be singing in a— and But we don't— we really don't know. None of us do, because it isn't up to us to, uh, to make those kinds of decisions for other people. I mean, you can— you can put a kid into school and you can send their tuitions in and you can have them take all of their courses and so on, but inside of them— inside of them beats a drumbeat that is very different than the one that you hear. And for him, I mean, it's something that he— he— it sounds to me it's like it's something that he has to to do. Does he say that to you?
He said his music is his passion. He said that's what he always wanted to do. But, um, he went to school. He went through— that's what I'm saying. He's getting his master's degree this year from a very prestigious school.
What is your passion?
My passion, to be honest with you—
for him or for myself? No, no, for you.
Oh, I'm, I'm too old.
I don't have any more passion, Doctor. Oh my goodness.
How old are you? I'm 44. 46. You're 46? Yes. And you've already— you're already too old and you have no passion left?
No, I don't have any more passion. My passion were my children, Doctor. Hmm.
Well, I would encourage you to understand, you know, what Gibran said about your children. Your children are not your children. They are the products of life's longing for itself. They come through you but not for you. Your children came through you. They're not yours. And I would suggest to you that you probably have a great passion, something that inside of of you, you know, is something that you've always wanted to do, but you've never quite given yourself permission to do it because you've been so consumed, probably, with being such a wonderful mother and taking care of your children and all that. But now you're getting to a point where you're realizing that you can't make your children become what you think that they should be just because they happen to be biologically related to you. And I would urge you, my dear, urge you very strongly to, to go within and, and look at what your own passion might be. And maybe you should go to school and find a course, that find something that just excites you. What is it that excites you more than anything? Is there anything out there like that?
To be honest with you, Dr. Dyer, I never even think about it. I go to work every day, I go home and cook for my husband, and I have a great relationship with my husband, but I never thought anything to do anything for myself, just go find my passion, because we were immigrants in this country and we always work and work and work.
But you are, you're a child of God. You are a piece of God, and you came into this world to complete something. There's something that you're here for, and I know that if I had enough time with you, you would— you'd be able to spit it out. And there's probably been some kind of a fear in there that if I do this, then I won't be as good a wife, and I won't be as good a mother, and I won't be as good a homemaker. But the fact is that if you felt that deep sort of commitment to what it is that you are as a human being, what it is that you I think, and Summer, I mean, you might even add to that. I mean, you know, you're a mom, you've got a busy home and all of that, but you also have this great passion with this radio show. And how do you bring them both together?
Very carefully. Really, Sue, when I heard you say you were too old for passion, I just, I was shaking my head here, biting my tongue.
Well, I always listen to you every Monday, even though I'm at work right now, but I just have to listen to you I just— my lunch hour, I take and listen to you. But that's what I'm saying, Doctor. I don't see anything for myself anymore. I'm just looking forward for my children's future. Honestly, I don't— I think I'm done.
I did all I could have done.
No, you're not, Sue. You're not even close to done. You're just beginning. In fact, the fact that you listen and the fact that you hear this and you hear the kind of things that we speak about and you hear about being inspired and you hear about making a difference in the world— I mean, you know, Mother Teresa didn't didn't even start her work as a nun until she was 55. 55, and she's a saint. I mean, she's 10 years older than you are before she even went into her religious training and spent like 40 years making a huge difference in the lives of the whole world. You're hardly even beginning. I would say that to anybody that is out there. Go within. Listen. Get quiet. Watch your children. Enjoy them. But find your own passion as well and live that, and you're going to find yourself a really happier mother, wife, but most of all, your number one relationship in the world shouldn't be to your husband, it shouldn't be to your children, it should be to God, and that is the highest part of yourself. You are a piece of God. Thank you, my dear.
Thank you so much. I love you so much, Dr.
Dyer. I love you too. God bless you. God bless you too.
Thank you. Well, Dr. Dyer, you know, that call was really about Sue. I don't think it should have been about her son at all. Well, that's why I shifted it. Yeah, I agree with you.
All right, let us go on. Heavy metal is great.
Whatever. Yeah. All right, Abby from Milford, Delaware. Abby, welcome to our program on line 5 today.
Hi. Hi, Abby.
Oh, I can't believe I'm actually speaking to you.
Why not? I'm just such a huge fan.
I'm just Okay, I'm shaking like a leaf now.
Where are you located?
I'm in Delaware. Delaware. Oh, I think what you said to that woman about Mother Teresa had to have inspired her completely. I think that was wonderful.
Most people don't realize that about— she was 55 when she decided to go into the nun— and do the kind of work that she was doing. Yeah. And look at Nancy Pelosi. Do you know who she is?
No, I don't.
I mean, she's the— she's the Speaker of the House in the United United States. She's the first woman who's ever held— she's the third person in line to the— if the president and vice president were to die, she would be the president of the United States. She raised all 5 of her children and didn't go out into the— until they were all raised. And now she's, uh, I think she's 64 or 65 years old, and she's out there as the Speaker of the House. I mean, she didn't start it until she was in her 50s. Wow. So there's lots and lots of room for all of us. Yeah, I guess.
What is your question, dear?
Well, um, I think what I do is I constantly am thinking about creation and what the whole point in us even being here is, and like how it all began. Like, it's just so mind-boggling, just bends my mind and makes me feel so uneasy that I start to just wonder what's the point in anything, what's the point in doing anything. And I'll read books of yours and I'll hear different things things that inspire me and make me feel enlightened, and I, for a moment, I'm just like, wow, that's awesome. And I'll think on that, and then the other stuff creeps in again that I'm just like, well, what's the point? And I have doubt that's constantly creeping in.
And it sounds like there's a— there's— it just sounds— I'm just guessing, but it sounds like there's like this huge fear of death. Is there— is there any—
it's just fear of even being alive, fear of just thinking like, where did— how did God even start to make anything begin? And just all of that, the whole—
just, I know I was watching—
wrapping your brain around it is nearly impossible.
There was a story in the New York Times yesterday about the, you know, what, what life was like, what the, uh, what the world, what the universe was like at the very beginning, at the— what they call the Big Bang. And I always think, how could there be a beginning? Because you have to say, what was there before the beginning? And, and how could there be an end?
I can't help but be tremendously uneasy when I think about that, and I just want to live and just stick around.
Let's talk about it. So like, in the great big context of things, it just all seems, um, it just seems too big to even get our, you know, wrap our fingers around, doesn't it?
And yet, so it makes me not stay inspired for long because I just start to doubt and say, well, what's the point? I don't even It's just like—
Yeah, the real essence of what we're talking about here is the ability to be able to stay in the moment. You know, it's because what we do with the kind of questions that you're asking and the kind of things that we contemplate, you know, like how big is this and how long am I going to be dead and is there life after life and, you know, and where does the universe end and how could such a thing even begin and you look out at the billions and billions of stars and realize that there's endless numbers of galaxies with even more stars, you know. It just, and it just goes and goes and goes. And if we were to just take off and shoot up into the sky and say, okay, I'll just keep going, and how far will I ever come to the end of the universe? Then you'll find out that there can't be an end. I mean, how could there be an end? What would be at the end? A wall? And then you'd have to ask yourself, well, what's on the other end of the wall? What's on the other side? It's like that endlessness, because who we are— and this is really important— who we are are is this paradox of that which began and ended. You know, that's this body of ours. It began in a moment and it ended in a moment. But also internally within us, there's this huge paradox of all of these thoughts and all of this stuff that comes out of nowhere. It comes out like, what is a mind and what is a thought and where does it come from? And we can go inside of ourselves and we can find the command center that allows— in the brain— that allows us to have a thought, but we can never We find the commander in the command center that's in there directing us to move our fingers or to go forward or to have this idea. Instead of fighting it and getting worried about it, move yourself always back into this moment. Say to yourself, "Here, now, this is all that I have, and whatever I can do to make it a better place for myself and for others, that's got to be enough." That seems to me what God does. You know? I try.
I do that often and I'll get myself back in the moment and I'll say, "Okay, I don't need to know. I don't have to wrap my brain around all that. I can just be like I feel like everybody else is just living and just being and there's just me, little old me sitting here questioning it all." No, no.
Little old me does the same thing.
And I can't. It just feels like it paralyzes me.
Oh, well, that's the thing it doesn't do for me. It doesn't paralyze me. Time. I remember I always tell the story when I was a little boy, I was living in an orphanage and, uh, I was about 7 years old. And my, uh, the lady whose house that we lived in, her name was Mrs. Scarf, she came out and she handed my brother David and I— we were sitting on the back steps— a banana. And, um, we each— I peeled the banana and she said— and she was sobbing— and she said, Mr. Scarf died this morning. Now I had never heard the— I had never heard the word death before when it related to a person. I'd heard it about chickens because we used to kill chickens, and I'd heard— I'd seen dead bugs and things, but I had never ever thought of the idea of people as dying. And I remember asking her, uh, when will he be back? And she said, never. Now I went upstairs, and I lived on a bunk bed. I slept on a bunk bed. There were 6 of us that slept in this room, and I slept on the very top. And I laid there peeling, eating that banana. I could remember this like it was yesterday. Yesterday, trying to contemplate the concept of never, of never coming back. Just like it was the— and it's like, so I'd think, well, what if it was 100 years? Well, what if it was a million years? What if it— but never. And it was like, it was so paralyzing and so difficult for me that I had to immediately shift my thoughts off of it. It was just too much to even begin to contemplate. And there's a— that whole thing about the oneness of the universe, about what God must be like, about what it must be to be in a universe which never ends, which is— that is something that you are going to know. You're going to know that. I believe that because I listen to Abraham, and I really believe that Abraham is one of the great teachers on the planet today, the teachings of Esther and Jerry Hicks, that that moment when you leave this world of form and beginnings and ends and boundaries, and when you leave that and enter into that oneness, that space where all things are one, and that there's no beginnings, there's no ends, there's nothing for us to fear, you're going to know the greatest bliss that you've ever had. Why not work at doing that now? And if we're wrong, we're wrong.
And so that's how you've shifted from when you said as a boy the thought paralyzed you and now it doesn't. Yeah, it does.
It's so incomprehensible for us who believe that we did begin an end. That with that, there is all of this. It's so incomprehensible for us because we're so connected to our ego, which is the part of us that believes we are this body, we are separate from everybody else, we are what we have, we are, you know, we are what we look like, we are whatever it is. And to get past that— and that's basically what my life work is, is really about teaching people to get past that and to be at peace with the great oneness. And then that great fear of death and that great fear that, that it doesn't all fit together together will leave us. That's all I can say about it. I mean, we could go on and on about it, but it's like—
it's to me—
So what are some things I could do to get at that peace?
Always shift back into this moment and say, "How can I be at peace now?" What is it that I— you know, instead of using that great unknown as something to be afraid of, use that great unknown as something that you anticipate and that you're excited about and you have no fear about. Because every being who's ever been on this planet, every being, all the billions and billions of us, we all return. As the Tao said, the Tao, the way of Tao, is a return trip. We are on our way back to the place from which we originated. Why not make that return trip without having to die and enjoy every moment that we have?
Okay. Well, you're very inspiring and I just love your work.
and I'm always telling people about your books and trying to spread your knowledge.
Ah, well, thank you so much. That's fascinating stuff, what you talked about. And to think that it's just little old you that is contemplating all of these things and wondering and all of that. It's not little old you. Every single one of us has this great desire to be connected to that thing from which we all came to, which we know is greater than we are. There is something to which all of us are connected that is greater than we we are. And if we could just trust in it and just have faith in it, it'll bring us a lot more peace.
And one more thing, I know I'm, I'm taking up a lot of time, but, um, I just got your Getting in the Gap book and CD. Would that help me?
Oh, absolutely. I was going to recommend that, as a matter of fact, that you, that you look at and, and do that meditation that's in that CD at the end of that book. It's called japa, where you just repeat the sound of the name of God and watch the peacefulness come over you. What, and just, just sort of become the observer to how, how much joy and peace there is in, in those kinds of contemplative moments in which you make conscious contact with God. Okay. Okay, sweetie.
God bless you. Thank you. God bless you.
Thank you. Thanks for your call, Abby. Well, Dr. Dyer, we've only got a few minutes.
Do you want to try taking one more person?
How about Kim?
She's been holding on from Haliburton, Ontario, Canada. Kim, hi there. Come on.
Thank you so much for taking my Yeah, thank you.
How are you, my dear?
I'm good.
It's a little chilly up here, but yes, I heard.
Yeah, a lot of snow. Yeah.
My question, actually, I'll try to get to it quickly.
My husband and I are going to be moving in with his parents.
I wondered how I can sort of maintain my spiritual balance.
The peace that you—
because we only have a minute or so— the peace that you want for yourself, okay? The joy, the peace, the happiness, the fulfillment, the, the just the sense of serenity that you desire for yourself. Yourself. Want it more for them than you do for yourself, and you'll live in peace with them. Wow. Okay. Want it more for them, whoever they are. They're much older, they've got whatever, but just as you think about what I want— what do I want? I want to be peaceful. I want to be able to live with these people happily. I want to be able to, you know, want that more for them. Every time you have this thing about me, shift it to them and just watch. And just watch how how much joy you'll receive in being able to serve these older people rather than thinking about how they're interfering or how they're not the same as you or how they're from a different generation. Let all of that go. Reach out, surround them with the kind of loving energy, and say, what can I do to give them the peace that I desire so much?
I love them very much, but yeah, you know, I want to take care of them.
I want to, to help them. You know, I just wanted to— like you were talking about at the beginning of the show, how do you maintain and stay out of people's business and that kind It's a great—
it's a, you know, it— you, you've been given a gift, the ability to serve other people, the ability to serve, because that's what God realization is. God is doing nothing. The source is doing nothing but always providing, always giving, always making available to us the endless abundance and prosperity and joy and peace and happiness that's available to all of us. By doing that, by just continuously doing that, you'll forget all about yourself and just say it's my turn to serve. My dear friend Ram Dass, who lives over here on Maui with me, said that the last year of his life when he took care of his father and he had to put him on the toilet and he had to wipe him and he had to lift him off and he had to— he said it was the greatest year of his life. He learned more from that than any other experience.
Oh, absolutely.
They are our teachers for sure. Yeah, absolutely.
Thank you. God bless you.
Thank you so much for your call. And Dr. Dyer, until next week.
Thank you, my dear. Okay, take care.
Another good day here on Dr. Wayne Dyer's Inspiration.
To watch another amazing Wayne Dyer video, check it out right there next to me. I think you'll love it. Continue to believe, and I'll see you there.
And we welcome Dr. Dyer joining us from his home in Maui. And how are you today, Dr.
Dyer? I am just great, thank you very much. I just came out of this beautiful ocean.
Oh my God, it is so beautiful here today. Oh, so lucky.
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