How to Make Anyone Respect You in 22 Minutes | The Psychology of True Authority

Are you looking to gain more respect from those around you? Do you want to learn how to captivate people's attention and be a true leader? If so, then you won't want to miss this inspiring video on how to make people respect you immediately. In this video, you'll discover 9 powerful strategies that you can use to gain immediate respect from those around you. From learning how to listen well to speaking last like Nelson Mandela to being able to laugh at yourself like Will Smith, this video offers practical and actionable advice that you can start implementing today. Imagine the feeling of commanding a room where everyone is hanging on to your every word and respecting your opinion. This video will teach you how to become that kind of leader, one that people naturally gravitate towards and look up to. So what are you waiting for? Join the millions of viewers who've already checked out this channel and start learning how to make people respect you immediately. Your journey towards becoming a respected and admired leader starts here. Enjoy. Way number 1 is be the last to speak with Simon Sinek.

Nelson Mandela is a particularly special case study in the leadership world because he is universally regarded as a great leader. Nelson Mandela across across the world is universally regarded as a great leader. He was actually the son of a tribal chief, and he was asked one day, how did you learn to be a great leader? And he responded that he would go with his father to tribal meetings, and he remembers two things. One, they would always sit in a circle, and two, his father was always the last to speak. You will be told your whole life that you need to learn to listen. I would say that you need to learn to be the last to speak. The skill to hold your opinions to yourself until everyone has spoken does two things. One, it gives everybody else the feeling that they have been heard. It gives everyone else the ability to feel that they have contributed. And two, you get the benefit of hearing what everybody else has to think before you render your opinion. If you agree with somebody, don't nod yes. If you disagree with somebody, don't nod no. Simply sit there, take it all in, and the only thing you're allowed to do is ask questions so that you can understand what they mean and why they have the opinion that they have. And at the end, you will get your turn. It sounds easy. It's not. Practice being the last to speak. That's what Nelson Mandela did.

Way number 2 is be able to laugh at yourself with Will Smith.

I'd gotten probably 2 weeks into my preparation for the film and my father was diagnosed with cancer. So we just started talking about love, time, and death. And it was some of the most open and powerful conversations that we ever had. And they gave him 6 weeks. And he actually— he lived for 4 months. So about 3 months into the 6 weeks, I go to see him one day. And he said, man, this shit is embarrassing.

And I said, what, Dad? He said, man, you tell everybody you going to be dead in 6 weeks. 3 months later, you still hanging around.

Turn around.

Laughing is the elixir, you know? And that was another thing that my father taught me. He was joking all the way up to the end. Like, laughing, you have to be able to laugh at everything. And for me, the beautiful part is that that's my natural color on the spectrum. I naturally go to comedy, you know? When I'm looking at something, I'm always trying to find why that's funny. And it's been really, really helpful in this experience and even just this point in my life. Keep, remember to laugh, remember to laugh and spend time with people that make you laugh. Like that is hugely important.

Way number 3 is let your actions speak louder than your words with Eric Thomas.

I need you to transition from the I to the A. Haha, woo!

That's right.

It transitioned from the I. And what's an I? The I is an idea. That's all it is. It's an idea. So I want us to do more A than I. That's right. I want us to live in the A and not the I. What do I mean by that? Some people, man, they got an idea and all you do is talk, talk, talk. Every time you get an idea, you pick up the phone, you call your homegirl, you three-way, you get on conference call, and you getting excited about your idea. All right? You telling your mom about it, your daddy about it, and there's more life in you when you talk about the idea than you put in the action. Action in it. Are you hearing me? So do me a huge favor, write the idea down and then shut up. You heard what I said, write the idea down and shut up. You ain't got to share your idea with 50 people. Write the idea down and boom, get to stepping, baby. Get to the action. Because listen to me very closely, your success is not determined on just what you say. Now, I'm not disagreeing with the you got to speak stuff into existence. I'm not disagreeing with that. But I'm telling you, you can't talk about it all the time. You got to be about it. So I want some action. So what does What does that mean? That means when you wake up in the morning, there's 24 hours in a day after you finish sleeping, right? And I don't know how much sleep you need, right? There's this big debate. E.T., how much sleep do I need? I don't have the slightest idea. I know how much I need. You might need 5, you might need 6, you might need 7, you might need 8. I don't know. That's your business. But listen to what I'm telling you. After you have finished sleeping, after you finish eating, and if you just that immature and you need to get your play on every day, you need to play video games, I don't know. You need to play cards, I don't know what you need to do. Whatever you need to do after you finish exercising, I'm telling you to spend the rest of that time in action, and you're gonna separate yourself from everybody. Why? 'Cause most people, all they doing is talk, talk, talk, talk. That's all they doing is talk, talk, talk, talk, and they getting pumped up and they getting excited from talking. So I'm saying get out of neutral and get it into drive the majority of your day. So on Monday, I want you to have 10, Write down a things-to-do list, and I want you to say at the end of the day, if I wrote down 20 things, what did I get done? And I'm trying to tell you, at the end of Monday, at the end of Tuesday, at the Wednesday, at the end of Thursday, at the end— you get what I'm saying? This ain't rocket science. At the end of your week, if you were supposed to get 60 things done and you got 40 things done, you're gonna be average. At the end of the week, if you're supposed to get 60 things done and you got 50 done, you're gonna be pretty good. But at the end of the week, if you got 58, 59, 60 things done out of 60, let me tell you something, you're going to separate yourself from everybody else. Are you hearing what I'm saying?

All right, all right, all right.

All I'm trying to tell you is this, don't let your words guide you, let your actions guide you. Are you hearing me? Don't let your words guide you, let your actions guide you. And if you spend the majority of your day writing stuff down and then fulfilling it, you're going to be tight work. So, stop, listen to me, stop getting all pumped up about an idea. Everybody has one, everybody got a dream, everybody got a goal. Stop dreaming about it, stop talking about it, and get up and do something about it. That A, baby, that action, that action, that grinding, that waking up and grinding.

Way number 4 is say what you mean with Vinod Khosla.

We put this sort of slogan, I prefer brutal honesty to hypocritical politeness, on our website because it's a real disservice to people. You don't have to be offensive to be be honest. When I don't like somebody, I can get offensive too, but generally you can be constructive and very honest. And I prefer that brutal honesty because it serves a purpose. The receiver can do something about it if it's a constructive criticism. If you get hypocritical politeness, you might lose A lot. So again, it's about having enough confidence to say the other person will eventually appreciate it. And that slogan came after I was working on a company with another major venture firm, and I didn't believe their plan would work. They had $45-50 million in the bank account, so everybody was comfortable, too comfortable in my view. I talked to the founders why it wouldn't work, what my concerns were. The other VCs agreed with me. In the board meeting, said all these polite things, you know. So 40 engineers wasted 3 or 4 years of their life because nobody was willing to tell them the honest truth about what they really thought. And I swore I would never let anybody waste their life. At least give them the best advice I had to give and tell them I may be wrong, but I'm not going to say something I don't believe in. I just won't. And that's extremely valuable to the other thing. But to be honest, look, there are situations it offends people, and I offend people often. But it helps them if they're really introspective. That founder, by the way, in that company called me 4 years later after, after this company— this company got sold for $3 million, 3.5, 4 years later. Sad story. And he called me a year after that, said, I only want to work with you on my next venture because I wish somebody had told me.

Also, to make sure you're actually taking action after watching this video, I've designed a special free worksheet just for this video. The worksheet will highlight all the lessons learned in this video, as well as pull out our 3 favorite learnings and quotes that will inspire you to actually do something. The worksheet will also give you space to write down what your key takeaways are and your specific plan of action to make sure you're getting results. If you want the worksheet designed specifically for this video, absolutely for free, There's a link in the description below. Go click on it and start building the momentum in your life and your business. I'll see you there. Way number 5 is see the good in everything and everyone with Kevin Hart.

Life is too short, and I feel like everyone needs to live, love, and laugh and understand, like, you know, you're constantly evolving. Things are constantly changing. Things are constantly putting people in a position where they can get better and do better. We're doing a lot better, a lot better. You're gonna have bumps in the road. You're gonna have things that happen that make you have a hiccup and question, are we doing better? But that's life. That's the course of life. But, you know, I'm a positive person. I'm a realistic and positive person. So I see where we are. I'm happy where we are, and I know we can be 5 or 10 years from now. It can continue to get better and grow.

Way number 6 is give credit when it's due with LeBron James.

Honestly, you guys seen me sitting, sitting in this chair and kept looking over at them. It's because I'd rather be sitting over there with them. I know this is an individual award, but I would much rather be sitting over there in shorts, in a t-shirt, wondering what the hell they joking about, because I want to be a part of that joke. And I hate being out of all the jokes, I want to know what was happening. Okay, guys, I would much rather be with my guys over there, um, because that's what it's all about. Yeah, much rather be with those guys. Without those guys, this trophy is not possible. The Larry O'Brien Trophy last year is not possible. Nothing that I receive individually is impossible without those 14 guys because of what they sacrifice each and every day. you know, the sweat and the blood and the time and everything. I always know that with team success becomes individual prizes, individual accolades, but this really doesn't mean much to me. I'm humbled and I'm happy about it, but I wish it was 15 of these up here because I'm with a great group of guys that allowed me to be the MVP. Um, each and every night.

Way number 7 is give respect to other people.

Respect others, okay? The golden rule, you've heard it for years, you've heard it since you've been little. Everybody's like, oh, treat others the way that you want to be treated. It sounds simple, right? But gentlemen, I'm here to tell you, respect is a two-way street. If you don't show others respect and consideration for their views or feelings, don't expect them to respect you or yours. The deal is We don't have to agree with people. We don't have to see things eye to eye or on the same level. But the fact is, you need to respect where they're coming from and try to understand. You may not, okay? You may come to the conclusion that they're batshit crazy! But at the end of the day, you listened and you tried to understand. And guess what? They're gonna respect you for respecting them. Another aspect of respecting others is don't badmouth people. Don't talk behind somebody's back. If you've got a problem, if you've got an issue, if you've got something you need to say to somebody, say it. You can do it in a respectful manner that enables communication as opposed to backstabbing gossip.

Way number 8 is always strive to do better with Terry Crews.

How many times have you ever heard the phrase, you are perfect just as you are? Have you heard that a lot? You know what, you are perfect just as you are. You are so perfect just as you are. Well, you know what, you are You are not perfect just as you are. You are perfect, but you're not complete. This is the thing, and this is what I mean by this. And a lot of people are gonna go, oh, what do you mean? What are you trying to say? I gotta change? I gotta change into somebody else? Yes, yes, you need to change. Everybody, everybody out there needs to change. We are designed for change. Nothing in this world stays the same. You are either getting better or you are getting worse. And let me describe something to you. When I say you are perfect, but you are not complete. Let's say this building I'm in. If I looked at the blueprints for this building, it's— the blueprints for this building before it was built were perfect. Everything was in its right place. Everything was great. But could I walk in it? Could I do anything? Did I have a building?

No.

Why? It wasn't complete. When they framed up this building and put wood and metal and all this stuff, but they didn't do the floor, didn't do the electrical, was it perfect? Yes, it was perfect, but it wasn't complete. You are like this building. You are perfect in every way, but you're just not done. You're not done. And you know what? Anybody who's trying to tell you Don't try to change me. Now, no one should try to change you, but you have to change yourself. You are, you owe it to everyone to change yourself into a better person, into a better human being. That's what you have to do. You are perfect, but you're just not complete. So when you look at yourself, look at yourself like that building, and it's framed up and everything is in its right place, but you're just not done. I want to tell you that. So anybody who's trying to tell you that I'm perfect just the way I am is not trying to change. And guess what? You're not. And it's not working. You're a half-done building. Who wants to live in a building with no roof? Nobody. And I'm just trying to break it down to you that you hear these catchphrases, you hear this stuff all the time, but then everybody just takes it. And says, "Oh yeah, I'm perfect just the way I am," and you don't change, and your life doesn't change, and nothing gets better for you, and you wonder what's happening, and everything is crumbling around you. Hey, I'm guilty. Terry Crews is guilty. Then I realize, wait a minute, wait a minute, I'm not perfect just the way I am. I have to be perfected. I am perfect, but I am not complete.

And way number 9 is help others when they need it and ask for help when you need it.

I'm an ordinary man with an extraordinary job, right? Not the other way around. So it's all gravy for me. You know, when I was younger, I used to coach a lot and nothing made— you coach kids in sports. Nothing made me happier than seeing other people do well. Well, That's sort of my nature, and directing was the perfect job for that because I love seeing others do well. I mean, I'm okay. I did pretty good. I'm good. I've done all right. But to see others do what, you know, they're capable of gives me great joy.

Today I want to talk about purpose. But I'm not here to give you the standard commencement about finding your purpose. We're millennials. We try to do that instinctively. Instead, I'm here to tell you that finding your purpose isn't enough. The challenge for our generation is to create a world where everyone has a sense of purpose. One of my favorite stories is when JFK went to go visit the NASA Space Center and he saw a janitor holding a broom and he asked him what he was doing. The janitor replied, "Mr. President, I'm helping put a man on the moon." Purpose is that feeling that you are a part of something bigger than yourself, that you are needed, and that you have something better ahead to work for. Purpose is what creates true happiness. I remember that night I launched Facebook. Book from that little dorm in Kirkland House. I went to NOX with my friend KX, and I remember telling him clearly that I was excited to help connect the Harvard community, but one day someone would connect the whole world. The thing is, it never even occurred to me that that someone might be us. We were just college kids. We didn't know anything about that. There are all these great big technology companies with all these resources, and I just assumed one of them would do it. But this idea was so clear to us that all people want to connect, so we just kept working on it day after day after day. And I know that a lot of you are going to have your own stories just like this—a change in the world that seems so clear that you are sure someone else is going to do it. But they're not. You will. But it's not enough to have that purpose yourself. You also have to create a sense of purpose for others. Now, maybe you're asking yourself, "Can I really do this?" Well, remember when I told you about that class I taught at the Boys and Girls Club? One day after class, I was talking to my students about about going to college, and one of my top students raised his hand and said that he wasn't sure he could go to college because he's undocumented. He wasn't sure if they'd take him. Last year, I took him out to breakfast for his birthday, and I wanted to get him a gift, so I asked him what he wanted, and he just started talking about struggles that he saw other students in his class facing, Finally he said, "You know, I'd really just like a book on social justice." I was blown away. Here is a young guy who has every reason to be cynical. He wasn't sure if the country he calls home, the only one he's known, was going to deny him his dream of going to college. But he wasn't feeling sorry for himself. He wasn't even thinking of himself. He has a greater sense of purpose, and he's going to bring people along with him. It says something about our situation today that I can't even say his name because I don't want to put him at risk. But if a high school senior who doesn't know what the future holds for him can do his part to move the world forward, then we owe it to the world to do our part too.

What I learned is that I don't have to know all the answers, and if I don't, I don't have to pretend that I do. The opportunity to ask others for help and admit when we don't know things, and even admit when we make mistakes, means that people will rush to our aid and will be there to help us. If we claim we know all the answers, if we hide the mistakes we make, then people will think things are fine. And so they'll leave us alone. And it's not that people don't want to help us, it's that they, they, it's that they don't know when they can.

Because you made it this far in the video, I want to celebrate you. Most people start and don't finish. Most people never actually follow through. Most people say they want something, but they don't ever do the work to actually get it. But you are different. You are special. Believe Nation, you made it here all the way to the end, and I love you. So as a special celebration. If you put a hashtag #believe down in the comments below on this video, I will showcase you and celebrate you somewhere on the screen in a future video because you are awesome. For 10 more amazing rules from Nelson Mandela, check the video right there next to me. I think you'll love it. Continue to believe, and I'll see you there.

We put our foot down and insisted in being respected. 'Even though we're prisoners.' She said, 'Who are you to ask for my name? What's your name?' 'You have a limited time to stay.'