How To Overcome Self-Doubt & Manifest The Life You Want

What the heck is manifesting, Mel Robbins? Well, let me tell you what manifesting isn't, okay? Manifesting is not thinking thoughts and then hoping that they come true. Thoughts become things only when your thoughts inspire you to take the actions to get those things. That's where manifesting comes in. Manifesting is preparing your mind, body, and spirit to help you take the actions to get those things. That's right. I'm going to say that again. Manifesting is like training for getting what you want.

Hey, it's Evan Carmichael, and this channel was created to help you overcome the number one challenge that is holding you back: a lack of belief in yourself. You watch these videos because you know there's something more inside you too. You've got Michael Jordan-level genius at something. So today, let's live your best belief life and learn how to manifest success into your life. Enjoy.

Manifesting is socializing your mind, preparing your mind, rehearsing your mind to help you take the steps before you take the steps so that you can get what you want. When you use manifesting properly, what you do is you remove the obstacles of self-doubt, of resistance, of being cautious, of focusing on tiny minutia, of feeling blank and overwhelmed. You remove all that crap and you retrain your mind and you retrain your nervous system and you retrain your spirit to help you get the things that you want in life. And when you manifest properly, what it does is it inspires you to take the actions that lead you to what you want. Now, that sounds like a lot of like, okay, Mel, what does that actually mean? What it means is this: Manifesting is going to help you see, feel, and act your way toward the things that you want. That's what it does. It's so freaking cool. Now let me tell you the difference between manifesting according to science and wishing, wanting, hoping, dreaming. Let's focus on sort of wishing. There's A lot of you that are confusing wishing for something with manifesting, okay? They're the opposite ends of the spectrum. And so before I kind of explain the two, let me just give you an example so that we can use the example to compare and to contrast, okay? One big goal and dream that a lot of people have is financial freedom. The ability to take your kids to Disney World, the ability to buy what you want, the ability to put enough money away so that you don't have to worry about the ability to buy the things that you need, to go on the trips that you want. Financial freedom is something that you deserve in your life. It's something that you can do the work to achieve in your life. And so let's talk about the goal of financial freedom and the difference between wishing for financial freedom and hoping and dreaming about it versus manifesting and doing the work to go get it. And what's the difference between you wanting and wishing for financial freedom and you manifesting it and using manifestation and the science of it to help you get it. The big difference between wishing for something and using manifesting to help you do the work to go get it is that when you wish that you were financially free, have you ever noticed that the second that you wish for something, like, you know, I wish I would win the lottery, you're also present at the same time to the fact that you're lacking money right now. Like, wishing that you would win the lottery, it doesn't bring up all of this sort of like empowering feelings. What it does is it reminds you that you're so broke that you need to win the lottery. And that's very different than manifesting. Manifesting is declaring what you want. I am committed to creating financial freedom in my life. And then once you declare what you want, manifesting is about the actions and empowering yourself to go get it. And there's a really big difference between focusing on, you know, and wishing for something, which only reminds you that you're lacking it. You know, "Oh, I wish I would meet somebody." That just makes you feel more alone. "I wish I could get in shape." That just makes you feel more out of shape. "I wish I could win the lottery." That just makes you feel poorer. "I wish I didn't have to work for this jerk." That just makes you feel more stuck. Do you feel how wishing for something amplifies what you don't like? Versus I'm gonna manifest and work for more money in my life. I am committed to being in a loving relationship and I'm gonna manifest and make it happen. I deserve to have a career that I love and I'm gonna use manifesting to help me get it. I wanna be in incredible shape. I wanna do a handstand in yoga. I want to heal my trauma and I'm gonna use manifesting to help me achieve those things. That's a big difference. Wishing and hoping makes you present to what you don't have. Manifesting makes you present and feeling empowered about what you want and your ability to go get it. And that highlights the second big difference. When you hope for things, when you wish for things, you are handing the power to somebody else or to outside forces. You are literally giving away your power. Because hoping and wishing just inherently assumes that somebody else is somehow gonna come in and solve the problem. We all know that that's not happening. Manifesting, on the other hand, locates and amplifies the power inside of you to do the work to get those things, to do the work to change your life. And it's important that you locate the power inside of you because you're the one that's responsible for your dreams, and you're also the person that's in the best position to make those dreams a reality. Because you have the ability to change the way that you think. You have the ability to change the actions that you take every single day. And when you change the actions that you take and you change the way that you think, you change your entire life. And manifesting is a tool that will help you train your brain and train your nervous system and train your mind, body, and spirit to help you achieve the things that you want. The, the thing that's super important for you to get as a major takeaway from this video is the thoughts alone won't achieve the things that you desire. But if you manifest properly, it will inspire you to take action, and action is what will create the results that you deserve and that you want in your life. That's as simply as I can put it.

Rule number 2 is visualize with Brendon Burchard.

How many of you in this room actually know already how to improve your life? You already know where to focus on your life and you probably know what to do, but you haven't done it yet. Be honest. Raise your hands. Okay. About half the room of truth tellers and half the room. I'll just pretend you didn't hear the questions because who knows exactly what you need to do to change already? Right? People say, "Oh, I want to lose weight, Brendon. I don't know why I haven't lost weight." I'll say, "Do you know how?" "Yes." "Have you gone to the gym?" "Mwah!" So people know what to do. It's that they fail to do it. That essence is called common sense. We know what to do, but the failure in the practice comes from a failure sometimes of will, sometimes of circumstance, sometimes of something. But here's what I'd love you to do. If you're failing to implement something you know you should already do, please tune in. If you are failing to implement something you already know you can do, your vision for your life is stuck to today. Your vision is stuck to yesterday. Because if you have a different vision for your life, and you know what to do, and that vision is compelling, that vision is something that is real and important and exciting for you, guess what? You do it. If it's a fake vision, a half vision, A mimicry vision, a follow-the-leader vision, not your vision. That's why you're not doing the basics, right? If you haven't lost the weight, you don't have a vision for your life healthfully yet. You want to lose pounds, but you haven't envisioned a healthy life. So even the commonsensical things, you don't do it, right? Who has eaten a friggin' bag of chips in the last 30 days? A whole bag of chips. Who ate that bag of chips at one sitting? Who ate the bag of chips in one sitting and had to fight not to open the second bag? Okay, who opened the second bag? Anybody? Okay, okay. I'm just making sure you're all being real here. But let's go— it's not just health. Think about that dream you have. You know you want to write. Like, my dream was to be a writer and a coach. I want to be a writer, and I want to be a life coach or business coach. Okay, cool. That's what I wanted to do. Common sense says, Brendan, sit down and write every day. But I didn't see it yet. I didn't visualize that vision and own that dream yet. It was an idea, but it wasn't a vision in my heart. I didn't see it, feel it, walk through it. I remember I said, one day I'm going to be comfortable talking to people. Because this is not how I came out of the womb. I know for a very long time, talking to people and speaking on a stage, especially one that big, no thank you, ma'am, not of an interest. And then I said, well, you know what, if I really want to make a difference in the world, I have to communicate better. I really have to get better at that. And so I would lay in bed every morning, And I would lay there and I would visualize myself, see a vision of my future on a stage. And I would see myself walking to one side and saying something amazing, and they would stand on their feet because I said something amazing. And then I went to the other side and I said something equally amazing, and all the amazing just kept coming out. And people would stand, and they would shout, and they would scream. And I would see it, and as I was visualizing that vision of myself, guess what? I would be sitting in bed in complete anxiety. I'd be sweating out the armpits. You ever dream of your vision of your future and it makes you sweat? Oh, I am weird. Okay, are you all here? Say, I'm here. You've never seen a vision of your future and it kind of freaked you out? If you haven't, you're not dreaming big enough yet, babe. If something in the future doesn't scare the out of you, forgive my language, you haven't even started dreaming. If something in the future doesn't scare you, like, ooh, that— like, see, if I want to be a public speaker and I don't think of a stage that big and I don't sweat, I better think of a bigger stage until I start sweating, right? To allow that discomfort, that vision that's bigger, because that's sometimes— look, we'll talk about willpower, we'll talk about confidence, we'll People talk about discipline, but I'm here to tell you a lot of the reason people don't take daily, real, practical, common-sense efforts towards their dreams is they don't see the dream yet. They haven't laid awake and thought about it long enough. They thought, "Wouldn't that be nice?" There's a difference between "wouldn't that be nice" and "I own this dream. It is in my heart. It is in my legs. It is in my body. I feel it. I sense it." That's mine, let's go. You don't luck into that. You decide what you want, and you see it, and you visualize it, and you step into it mentally day after day after day. And people say, oh, well, Brendon, what if it doesn't come true? I'm like, oh, babe, it's highly likely it won't. But who taught you it was about the destination? Didn't we all learn it's about the journey? Turn to the person on the left or right, shake them, say, "It's about the journey." It's about the journey. One of the reasons common practice isn't common practice is because it is so common. It's mundane efforts every day, common practice. It's just same thing. It doesn't look like a lot. It doesn't feel like a lot. It's little inches, steps forward, incremental advancement. It's not sexy. We want the destination, and in the day when we don't feel the destination, we're like, ugh. You know, I dream of the big stage, but then my first stage is that little room you all saw, and some people would go, ah, well, that's not it. I said, "Oh, of course. Going to start small, keep trying, keep getting better, learn to talk to people, get out of my weird shell, like, you know, not be so awkward and just try to, you know, get many words out in a row." It wasn't like, "Oh, one day I'm going to speak in front of, you know, this and that and arenas." That happened, and I could see it. and I forced myself to see it, but I would take the common everyday practices, because the visions were mine. They were my dreams. Don't think one day you'll have a vision and become so strong. See a little bit of the vision and keep visualizing it. Keep visualizing it. Keep seeing it. Keep visualizing. Every morning for like 3 years, I would lay there and imagine myself talking better. Imagine myself on stage, working the stage, getting away from the podium, right? You don't see a podium. There's nothing up here. There's not a chair up here at all. I got 38 feet to work here, and then I got another mile to lap the room. I'm going to work it. I'm— oh, I had to see myself walking. That's weird. Okay, yeah, walk, Brendon, move. Get— you know, get— you have to see this stuff. You all with me so far? Don't think the vision has to be complete. The vision has to be tapped every day. Tap into it, see it, think about it, see it, think about it, see it, think about it, and it comes into more formation. Everyone wants their vision, their dream delivered as a complete Netflix package. I'm like, that's not how it goes. You see a little piece of it and you observe it and play it out. See another piece. Observe it, think it out. Observe it, think it out. Observe it, think it out.

Rule number 3: Organize your mind with Sadhguru.

Everything we as human beings have created on this planet was essentially first created in our minds. All that you see which is human work on this planet planet. First found expression in the mind, then it got manifested in the outside world. The wonderful things that we have done on this planet and the horrible things that we have done on this planet, both have come from the human mind. So if we are concerned as to what we create in this world, it's extremely important that first of all We learn to create the right things in our mind, how we keep our minds. If we do not have the power to keep our minds the way we want it, what we create in the world is also going to be very accidental and haphazard. So learning to create our minds the way we want is the basis of creating the world the way we want. There is a wonderful story in the yogic lore. On a certain day, One day, a man took a walk. He went for a long walk. Accidentally, unawares, he walked into paradise. Fortunate, isn't he? He just took a walk and he landed up in paradise. After this long walk, he felt little tired, so he thought, "Oh, I'm tired. I wish 'Wish I could rest somewhere.' He looked around, there, there was a nice tree underneath which there was very cushiony grass, so it was inviting. He went and put his head down there and slept. After a few hours, he woke up well rested and he thought, 'Oh, I am well rested.' "But I'm feeling hungry, I wish I had something to eat." And he thought about all the nice things that he ever wanted to eat in his life and instantly all those things appeared in front of him. You need to understand there the service is like that. Hungry people don't ask questions. Food came and he ate. Stomach became full, then he thought, "Oh, my stomach is full, I wish I had something to drink." All the nice things that he ever wanted to drink, he thought about it and all of them just appeared in front of him. Drinking people also don't ask questions, so he drank. Now with a little bit of alcohol in him, you know Charles Darwin told you, all of you are monkeys, your tail fell away. Not me, Charles Darwin told you that you were all monkeys and your tail fell away and then you became human. Yes, definitely the tail fell away, but the monkey— in yoga, we always refer to an unestablished mind as markata, which means means a monkey. Why we are referring to the mind as a monkey is, what are the qualities of a monkey? One thing about a monkey is, its unnecessary movement. And another thing about the monkey is, if I say you're monkeying somebody, what does it mean? Imitation. Monkey and imitation have become synonymous. So these two essential qualities of a monkey are very much the qualities of an unestablished mind. Unnecessary movement, you don't have to learn it from the monkey, you can teach it to the monkey. And imitation is full-time job of the mind. So when these two qualities are on, a mind is referred to as a monkey. So this monkey became active within him. He just looked around, thought, "What the hell is happening here? I asked for food, food came. I asked for drink, drink came. There must be ghosts around here," and ghosts came. "Oh, the ghosts have come, they're going to surround me and torture me," he thought. Immediately the ghosts surrounded him and started torturing him. Then he started screaming in pain and said, "Oh, they're going to kill me," and he died. Just now he said he's a fortunate being. The problem is he was sitting under a Kalpavriksha or a wishing tree. He asked for food, food came. He asked for drink, drink came. He asked for ghosts, ghosts came. He asked for torture, torture came. Came. He asked for death, death happened. Now don't go looking for these Kalpavrukshas in the forest. You can barely find a tree these days. A well-established mind, a mind which is in a state of samyukti is referred to as a Kalpavruksha. If you organize your mind, to a certain level of organization, it in turn organizes the whole system. Your body, your emotion, your energies, everything gets organized in that direction. Once all these four dimensions of you, your physical body, your mind, your emotion, and the fundamental life energies are organized in one direction, once you are like this, anything that you wish happens. Without even lifting a little finger actually. It would help to assist it with activity, but even without doing any activity, you can still manifest what you want if you organize these four dimensions in one direction and keep it unwavering in that direction for a certain period of time. Right now, the problem with your mind is every moment it is changing its direction. It is like you want to travel somewhere and every two steps if you keep changing your direction, the question of you reaching the destination is very remote unless it happens by chance. So organizing our minds and in turn organizing the whole system and these four basic dimensions of who you are right now in one direction, if you do this, You are a Kalpavruksha yourself. Anything that you wish will happen. But right now, if you look at your lives, everything that you have wished for till now, if it happens, you're finished. Everything and everybody that you have desired for, if all of that lands up in your house today, could you live with that? Once we're empowered like this, it's very important that our physical action, emotional action, mental action, and energy actions are controlled and properly directed. If it is not so, we become destructive, self-destructive. Right now, that is our problem. The technology which is supposed to make our life beautiful and easy has become the source of all the problem that we are destroying the very basis of our life, which is the planet. So what should have been a boon boon, we are making a curse out of it. What has brought incredible levels of comfort and convenience to us in the last 100 years or so has also become a threat to our life simply because we are not conscious action, we are in a compulsive state of action. So organizing our minds fundamentally means moving from a compulsive state of activity to a conscious state of activity.

Also, to make sure you're actually taking action after watching this video, I've designed a special free worksheet just for this video. The worksheet will highlight all the lessons learned in this video, as well as pull out our 3 favorite learnings and quotes that will inspire you to actually do something. The worksheet will also give you space to write down what your key takeaways are and your specific plan of action to make sure you're getting results. If you want the worksheet designed specifically for this video, absolutely for free, there's a link in the description below. Go click on it and start building the momentum in your life and your business. I'll see you there. Rule number 4: Create from the quantum field with Dr. Joe Dispenza.

When we create from 3-dimensional reality, we're creating from lack and separation. In other words, you're driving down the road and see someone driving a car that all all of a sudden you realize that you don't have. The moment you become aware that that person has that car and you don't have it, you're in lack of having it, right? So what the brain naturally does is it naturally creates you driving that car, and you have an image of yourself driving that car, and you start identifying, wow, that would be a greater experience for me to have. The problem is the distance between the thought of what you want and the experience of actually happening, it happening for most people is the concept called time, right? Between cause and effect, right? So some people develop the ability to manage themselves and manage their life, develop certain skills, and they can pay for it and they can get it very quickly. The problem is when the novelty of that experience wears off, you know, the car, and they're no longer identifying with that, and the feeling of emptiness and lack comes back, they need to find something else. They gotta attach to something else. And so there's this game that goes on where you never have enough. Right? And that's the lack game, right? So then if you think about people having the things they want in their life, when they create from lack and separation, it's the experience in 3-dimensional reality that produces the emotion, and the emotion is saying, let's feel that experience, this thing that you've been in lack and separation from. And that emotion then takes away the lack or separation, but you've worked really hard to get it. Okay, nothing wrong with that. Is there another way to do it?

Yes.

Okay, so the person who's living in lack is waiting for their wealth to feel abundant. They're waiting for their success to feel empowered. They're waiting for their healing to feel gratitude. They're waiting for their new relationship to feel love. They're waiting for the mystical experience to feel awe. That's the Newtonian model of reality, of cause and effect. You know, Waiting for that event to happen to take away this separation or lack. Nothing wrong with it. It's the way most people create. But what we've discovered is actually something else. The moment you feel gratitude, your healing begins. The moment you feel worthy and abundant, you're generating wealth. The moment you're empowered, you are moving towards your success. The moment you're in love with yourself and you're in love with life, you'll create an equal. The moment you are in awe of life, you're going to have a mystical experience. And so that's causing an effect, right? So then if you can teach people then how to create instead of from lack or separation, but create from wholeness and create from what we call the quantum field instead of three-dimensional reality, What's the difference? Okay, so the way you— first of all, it takes knowledge, okay? The quantum field is an invisible field of energy that exists beyond our senses. You can't see it, you can't smell it, you can't taste it, you can't hear it, you can't feel it. It exists beyond our experience of three-dimensional reality.

Would this be in our mind's consciousness, or would this be in a different space?

Okay, let's look at that. So The answer to the question is, how much of your waking day do you put your attention on matter, on the material world? And how much of your waking day are you aware of energy and frequency? For most people, they're unaware of the quantum field. And if you're unaware of it, it doesn't exist for you. Just like you have a nose, but if you're unaware of it, it doesn't exist for you. The moment you become aware of it, it exists. Well, the quantum field, you can ask You could study all kinds of science, and they'll tell you there is this invisible field of frequency and energy that exists beyond the senses that tend to connect everything physical and material. In fact, everything physical and material is connected to this field. Okay, so how do you get there, right?

How do you get there?

How do you get there?

How do you get there? So we discovered that when you take all of your attention off your body and you are not paying attention to your emotions, your drives, your habits. If you take all of your attention off of every element in your environment—your cell phone, your tablet, your computer, your, your car, your whatever it is, your bed—take away—take your attention away from everything, every place that you live, where you sleep, or you work, and you're not thinking about time, you're You're not thinking about your schedule, where you need to be, or what happened yesterday. You can relax into the present moment. There tends to be a dramatic change in the way the brain functions when people do this properly. We call it getting beyond yourself, but in a sense, you're dissociating from your 3-dimensional reality. Why? Because if you're thinking about anything in your 3-dimensional reality, that's where your attention is, and that's where your energy is, okay? We kind of figured out this formula. When people really become nobody, no one, no thing, nowhere, and no time, we are pretty much all of a sudden outside the constraints of the Newtonian world of got to do something to get an outcome. And if you can teach people how to linger there without a name, without a face, without a profession, without a family, without a culture, without a past, without a disease, you teach them how to be in this place we call the unknown, right? And you teach them that from that place, that invisible field, is where everything material comes from. And if they could create coherence in their brain— you need a strong signal in the brain. The more coherent the brain, the more stronger the signal.

What do you mean a strong signal?

Okay, let's see how I could say this. When most people— we look at— when we look at brains in real time and we're looking at people's how their mind is working. When you're under stress, okay, stress is created by not being able to predict something that's going to happen in your life, the perception that something's going to get worse, or you can't control something, right? So when that occurs, we switch on that primitive nervous system called the fight-or-flight nervous system, and the brain goes into this very alarmed state called high beta. That means pay attention to the outer world, there's danger out there. So So it's, but if it's not a predator and it's traffic or your coworker or your ex, this is where it gets to be a problem because it becomes very maladaptive, right? So when we're in that state and the brain is in that aroused state, we try to control and predict everything. So every person, every object, everything, every place, even your body has a neurological network in your brain, right? As the arousal happens, we start shifting our attention to all these elements, and like a lightning storm in the clouds, the brain starts firing very, very incoherently. And when the brain's incoherent, we're incoherent.

So that's not a strong signal.

That's not— there's a static on the wire. That's disconnection. There is no signal. Right. So when we're in that state, we're always really looking for the worst-case scenario of what's going to happen, because if you prepare for the worst, anything less happens, a better chance of survival, right? So, so in this kind of aroused state, as we shift our attention to each one of these elements that are known in our environment, the brain starts compartmentalizing and firing out of order. And, and that is what creates what's called autonomic dysregulation. That causes the brain and body to get really out of balance, right? So in that state, we're, we're overfocused. You know, when you're stressed, you're overfocused on something, you can't stop thinking about it. Our research shows that when you do that, you actually make your brain worse because you're analyzing your problems within some disturbing emotion, and that emotion is driving you further out of balance. You're actually knocking your brain and body out of balance by thought alone, and you're driving it into these more aroused states, right?

For someone that's been living like that for decades that's their base state. How do they even realize how to get out of that?

They don't, usually it takes crisis, right? It takes trauma. Extreme breakdown. Yeah, breakdown.

A loss, a death, a breakup, a divorce, a near—

Bankruptcy, whatever it is, a disease, a diagnosis, whatever. Something where you just can't go on business as usual. Now it's time to really start looking for it. They have to wake up then. Yeah. So let's get back to the concept of abundance here because—

You need a strong signal in this field. Right.

So then, if you can teach people to do the exact opposite— go from putting all of their attention on everything physical and material in the world of separation, and instead of narrowing their focus on something material, ask them to broaden their focus and put it on nothing. I know that sounds kind of crazy, but when you put your attention on space and you divert your attention the act of sensing without thinking actually starts to slow the brainwaves down. Not only slow it down, but all of a sudden cause the brain to start reintegrating, starts to synchronize, right? And so you see different compartments of the brain that were firing out of order start to resonate. They start to communicate. They're all of a sudden synchronizing, and what syncs in the brain kind of links in the brain. So when a person has their whole entire brain firing in rhythm, that's a very strong signal that you can send out into the field.

So when that signal is strong in that position, what can you create from that space?

Okay, so, but that's only one element. Okay. So then the clear intention tends to be a very important element that we have to have to get down. And the more coherent the brain, the more clear the signal for that intention. So with intention and attention, we could actually make thought more real than anything else. Now, what is that? You're saying, what would it be like to be wealthy? What would it be like to be abundant? What would it be like to have all my needs met? What would it be like to have more than I need? What would I do if I had everything I ever wanted? The answer always is the same. You start giving stuff away. Because if an abundant person is truly abundant, why would they hold on? They would say there's I'm not in lack. There's more for everybody. Okay? Turns out though that the signal sent out isn't enough. You have to draw the experience back to you.

You send the signal out to, you know—

It's coherent brain.

Financial freedom, abundance, whatever that is. All these different things.

Right, right, right. Whatever that is for you. Whatever that is for you.

So you're putting that out there with the signal, with the intention and the attention.

Right.

And then how do you draw it to you? Okay, so, so now— world, right?

In the physical world, you got to go get it. You got to do something. This is the plane of demonstration. You got to go get it. And when you— you're in lack until it occurs, right?

So what I'm hearing you say, there's a way to not chase but attract.

All right, so if you're creating from the field instead of from matter, right, there's a very strong possibility that you'll shorten the distance between the thought of what you want and the experience of having it. And when there's a vibrational match between your energy and that future that you want to experience. Now, if you're creating from the field, you actually don't go anywhere to get it. You actually draw it to you.

Rule number 5: Have the right thoughts with Dean Graziosi.

I have a message that I'm going to tell through a story with my daughter. So last weekend— and yes, this has to do with success, has to do with happiness. When I say success, I want you to have a full rounded definition of success. Money without happiness, money without health, health without money, all of it's a pain in the ass unless you have all of it. So why not work on the core, work on the foundation? Like I always say, all success starts here, because all success starts with your habits and your values. Before the magic money machines, before the businesses, before the grit, before the grind, you need the habits. So let me tell you this story. One of the greatest things ever taught, I believe, is what Earl Nightingale so simply put in The Strangest Secret, that we are nothing more than the sum total of our thoughts. Now we know that, we hear it, you've heard me share it, you've read about it, but how does it actually stick in your life? How does it work in your life? Are you aware that you are nothing more than the total of your thoughts? You will become You become the person that follows or obeys the thoughts that you have. If you have thoughts of scarcity, thoughts of getting taken advantage of, get thoughts of being the victim, get thoughts of— have thoughts of being an entrepreneur who can handle anything, an entrepreneur who could just go to the ends of the earth and do what it takes. I mean, everything is— everything starts with a thought. But let me just share this with you. My daughter and my son and I went to Utah last weekend fishing. Well, just fishing was one of the things we did. We just wanted to hang out, get out of the heat. And still hot here in Arizona, so we want to get out. So we jump on a plane and we go to Park City, Utah, having an amazing time. We go fishing, we learn how to fly. I hire some coaches to help my kids to get better, dear friends actually helping We did outdoor sports. We went bowling. We did all this great stuff. Long story short, my daughter's 11, and whether you're a parent or not, I'm just telling you, I had no idea that girl drama starts at about 10. It's like the plane lifts off the ground at 10 and girl drama starts. Girls are getting in cliques. Girls are making fun of other girls. And I'm not saying girls like boys are bad, but boys are kind of wanting off to play sports at this age, and Fortnite. Anyway, the drama starts. So my daughter is very like I was. She needs everybody to like her to feel good about herself. Now I work on that all the time, telling her, you know, she needs her own self-worth, but she's 11 and we're working on it. So long story short, we're coming back on this Sunday and she wants to come back to go to a yoga class with 3 of her friends that she's kind of on the edge with. They're kind of cliquey, great girls, amazing girls. But that's just the way it is. It doesn't make any kids better. My daughter's not any better than any of those other girls. But she wanted to really go and it was important to her. She said, Dad, I really want to go to this yoga class and then lunch after and I can bond with these girls. It'll just make it so much easier in school because I really like them. And one of them she felt bad for because she's moving and she really likes her, all this stuff. So I cut the trip short. I said, okay, Bree, you want to go back for that? I understand. I was your age once. Now we changed the flight to get there with an hour's cushion. Yeah, I cut things kind of close, but we had an hour, hour and a half cushion. We get to the airport, the flight's delayed for an hour. We didn't fly private, we flew commercial. We just had fun. We went up there, but we were an hour late. So now we're an hour late, and did you ever fly in a plane, so not super small, not super big, but they can't handle the big roll-on bags, so you gotta leave 'em in the jetway? And then they have to un— you know, you basically have to check the bag. So we had to check the bag. And all of a sudden, I'm looking at time, and we're gonna land at about the exact time this yoga class starts. And it was so important to my daughter. I get it. And you might say, ah, it was a dumb yoga class. No, it was more than that. 11-year-old girl trying to, you know, do the right thing. It was a big deal to her. So all of a sudden— now, why am I telling you this whole story? 'Cause I watched my daughter say, Dad, we're not gonna make it. Dad, we're gonna be late. And I watched the stress and I watched the feeling in her belly when she was telling herself we weren't gonna make it. We had not yet gotten there late. We had not yet missed the appointment, but the story, her thoughts were already there. The story she was telling herself is that we were missing it, and I watched her mannerisms change. I watched her physiology change. I watched her mood change. She was sad. I was thinking of all these things, and I'll miss the class, and then Monday at school will be uncomfortable again 'cause I didn't fix it with the one friend. All of those thoughts. One thing, a delay in the flight triggered 15 other thoughts. She wasn't even my regular daughter, and she was sitting there sad. So we're going, and I said, here's what I told her. I said, Bree, now kids don't want lessons all the time. As adults, we want 'em because we wanna go faster, but I said, Bree, wouldn't it be better to think that we're gonna make it no matter what? We're gonna make it there on time, because whether we make it there on time, I'd rather have the better thought on the way than being sad. So in my head, all I kept saying is, however we're gonna do it, we're gonna make it. The flight's gonna go a little quicker. We're gonna get the bags quicker than we thought. I'll drive quicker. We'll get there. We'll get— and I was fine, and I do this all the time, but I've had 50 years of being on this earth to figure it out. She's 11. So long story short, we get there on time. We got there 10 minutes early. Drop her off, she got a big smile on her face, but she was stressed for 2 hours, the poor thing. So I waited till the next day, and I said, "Bree, really simple. We could have been late, but we weren't. But either we were late or not, wouldn't it have been better for your heart, for your health, for your happiness, for the end of a great trip in Utah with your dad and your brother. Wouldn't it have been great to say, 'You know what? We're gonna make it. I'm gonna be there in time, no big deal. I'm gonna get there and I'm gonna bond with my friends. It's gonna be amazing, and Monday in school will be great.' I said, 'What? Is that what happened?' She goes, 'Yeah, that's exactly what happened.' Monday went, you know, she ended up telling me afterwards that Monday went great because they bonded. I said, 'Wouldn't it have been better to tell yourself that story over and over, and you would have had a great plane ride? You wouldn't have had stress. You wouldn't have had worry. And she's like, "Wow, Dad, that's the first time ever I really understand what you say about being the witness of your thoughts or looking at your thoughts or judge your thoughts." So let me ask you, what thoughts could you change right now? Listen, I'll be completely transparent. My ex-wife, who I'm dear friends with, and, yeah, divorce sucks, for lack of a better word, but we've done an amazing job at it. And The reason I'm bringing that up is because I watch her sometimes go down the path of having thoughts that'll drive her nuts, like, why didn't it work out in the past? Why couldn't have we done something different? Or how come this is happening now? And I always tell her, I'm like, and I can watch her come right back. She'll get in a grumpy mood. I'll drop the kids off. She's like, hey, you're short with me. And I know she's letting thoughts get to her, which we all do. And then I remind her, she changes her thoughts. She's a completely different person. I remember listening to Wayne Dyer when he got diagnosed with leukemia. It's not what he passed away of, but when he died of— when he got diagnosed with leukemia, he said he remembers telling himself, "Oh my God, I'm sick. I have leukemia. I'm not gonna make it." He felt like shit. He said, "Wait a minute. I'm good. I have leukemia either way. The end result's gonna be the same either way, so I'm just gonna think I'm gonna beat it. I'm gonna be healthy. I'm gonna be the example for leukemia victims or people with that disease." He changed it, and all of a sudden he was the happiest guy you ever saw with leukemia, only because he changed one thing: his thoughts. So back to you. What thoughts are you having right now that don't serve you? They don't serve your bigger future. Judge them. Analyze them. They are not you. There's two of us in there. Remember, you have double conversations all the time. You're not schizo. We have two conversations. You know, you could be walking in a room while simultaneously you're saying, wow, why did they wear that? Or, or wow, this is a weird color, uh, painting that they put up on the wall. Like, you know, we have two thoughts always going on in our head. So with those two thoughts, divide one to analyze your thoughts, be like, why the hell would you think that? Why would you think we're going to be late, miss it, my friends aren't going to like me? When you can think, I'm going to be on time, my friends are going to love me. One makes you feel happy, one makes you feel like shit. One can say, I learned from a bad relationship and my next one's going to be amazing. Or, my past relationship, I screwed up, I said and I'm always gonna be miserable. One makes you happy, one makes you sad. Wayne Dyer could have said, I have leukemia, this sucks, I'm gonna be sick, I'm gonna die, or I have leukemia, I'm gonna beat it, and I'm gonna still trans— inspire the world. One makes you sad, one makes you happy. One makes you empowered, one takes away your power. Which one do you want? I'm asking you right now to think about this. What are the stinking thoughts that you're having in your head in your head that are holding you back, causing you pain, making you suffer, and not allowing you go to the next level. Analyze your thoughts this week more than ever before in your life.

Rule number 6 is be aligned with feeling good with Gabby Bernstein.

Where are we going wrong with manifesting? Like, what are the biggest mistakes, the myths, the things that are not really the right places to start? Good question.

Well, first of all, I think that the reason that you're feeling that way about this book is because it's actually not a book about manifesting. It's a book about feeling good. And the key to manifesting and the key to being a super attractor is to be aligned with feeling good. And that doesn't mean that we feel good all the time, but our deepest desire isn't to get that thing to feel good enough and feel good. It's to feel good so that we can allow whatever we need and whatever is of the highest good to come into our life. And that's where I think some of the wobbliness maybe shows up when it comes to manifesting, is this idea that I can think it and it will be. And that's true. You know, you can, you think and think and think to the point of belief, and then that can actually come into form. But more importantly, we need to really make it our commitment and our devotion to feel good. And that may mean looking at some of our shadows. That may mean having the willingness to change our mind all throughout the day. And that may mean being more committed to our well-being and our personal growth than we ever had before. But in the pursuit of feeling good, having a good life, and being a super attractor.

Yeah. Amazing. So it actually starts with us. And what I'm hearing you say is just that we know that it's not about getting that thing. But the challenge is that somehow in that pursuit, it always becomes about that, even if that thing is something elusive, like a title, or a status, or, you know, being on a list or whatever it may be, like it ends up being that way. How did you— you said something really interesting to me when you walked in, you and I was congratulating you because the book's already a New York Times bestseller, right? The book's been number 1 on the list, which is unbelievable.

It's been like 3, 5, and 6, 3 weeks in a row. Okay. Number 1 on Amazon. Yeah, number 1 on Amazon.

Right. So it's got all that. And I said that to you and I congratulated you and I showed you a picture that you posted. I was like, this is amazing. And you said something really interesting to me. Yeah. Say what you said.

I pretty much said that the reason that it's on these lists is because I don't give a shit. I stopped caring. All I cared about with this book, this is my 7th book, and all I cared about with this book, because in many of my other books, I really cared about lists.

And things like that.

But with this book, and that didn't mean that there wasn't major service behind them and the primary intention being to serve, because if that wasn't the case, they wouldn't have had success. But my agenda was different at times and, you know, it was more in the, the, the marketing of it. And this time around I was like, I'm gonna show up and do my part, but I'm just gonna have fun. I'm gonna feel good. I'm gonna relax and I'm not gonna think about it. You know, the day that my publishers called me and said the book is on the list, I didn't even realize it was Wednesday, which is the day I could have cared less. I wasn't thinking about it at all. I did not even recognize the day it was. And that has been happening every week. Every Wednesday, I keep getting these text messages, oh, it is number 5, it is number 6. And I am like, oh, yeah, it is Wednesday. Oh, okay, cool. And I am celebrating it, but I am celebrating it mainly from the perspective— like today, this acknowledgment of these lists and things really just represent that it is helping people.

Yes, exactly. Which I think is such an important thing to celebrate. That is right. Because we are celebrating the fact that a book about being a super attractor is growing, as opposed to a book about something negative or something toxic. There is that, definitely.

And I also am seeing, like, I wrote this book because I wanted to feel good. And so I'm seeing that I knew that if it made me feel good, which it did in multiple cases where I even returned to it on my own to read it, I knew that if it was making me feel good, that it was definitely going to make the reader feel good. And that's— that's today. I was at lunch and a woman, you know, grabbed me and was like, look, I just have the audiobook right now and I'm listening to you right now. And I was like, awesome. And said, it's making me feel so good. I said, well, then I've done my job.

I love that. That's awesome. Now, you've talked a lot about how, you know, we're living at a time when there's a lot of competition, there's a lot of comparing, there's a lot of, you know, me versus this, or competitors and peers and all that kind of stuff. And, but in this book, you know, and a lot of that makes us feel like what I'm hearing you say, you're like, oh, I'm having fun, like I'm enjoying it. But a lot of us turn to being strict with ourselves. Whereas you take an approach of saying, let's be compassionate with us. Tell me about that almost paradox, because we almost feel like, okay, well, if I'm competing, I need to get more organized and more strict and more— whereas you're actually saying, no, be more compassionate.

Yeah. One of the biggest blocks to being a super attractor is the comparison and the belief that there's not enough to go around. And I actually wrote a whole chapter in the book called There's More Than Enough to Go Around.

Love that.

Yeah. And it's for that person that's like the pusher that I identified in the book, the person that's like If I don't do it, it won't happen. And everybody around me is better than me, or I'm not, or I'm better than everybody else. And that separation and that judgment, that self-attack and all the ways that we feel unworthy. And so when we start to identify the ways that we're pushing and controlling, we can begin to unpack that. And I guide the reader in the book to unpack that behavior and to recognize how much it's blocking someone from, from allowing and letting what they desire to come into their life. Because the real secret is to feel good. The secret is to love where you are in the moment and not compare yourself to where you think you should be. Because once you start just being psyched about what is, more of what you desire comes to you. And I, I can stand behind that wholeheartedly. Wholeheartedly.

And rule number 7, the last one before some very special bonus clips, is create a new pattern with Lewis Howes.

So we're working to reprogram your mind and break the patterns that have been leading your life because I've been there in so many different areas of my life for many different years that have held me back. And some I've been confident in certain areas, and others I've lacked confidence. And this is a process, and this is a journey, and it's not going to happen overnight. But we want to identify where your energy is going and focus on where is that energy and effort leading you and helping you. And as the author of The Secret, Rhonda Byrne, told me in our interview last year, she said, when you start you start noticing a damaging pattern, you can replace it with a new one. But you need to identify what the patterns are. I think sometimes we get— we just aren't even aware. It's just a pattern that's running. It's something that's happening. Maybe it's been happening for months or years or decades. We're not even aware. It's just become our identity. So when you identify the negative identity patterns that are holding you back, That's the first step. And you can start to really shift and replace it with a new identity, a new pattern that you can implement. And you want to think about the people in your life. Are the people you spend your time with giving you energy or are they draining you of your energy? And this is also a side note. Just because someone maybe doesn't agree with you or has different beliefs or makes you feel reactive doesn't mean that they're always this toxic person. You get to figure out how you can respond to people, 'cause not everyone's gonna be a perfect human being around you all day long. You've gotta learn how to respond and let go of the triggers that have been holding you back. It's usually never about the other person. It's always about why is this hurting me? Why is this affecting me? Yes, if someone's being nasty towards you and saying mean things to you, deliberately and intentionally trying to hurt you, that is not okay. But sometimes it's just a misinterpretation. Sometimes it's a miscommunication, and we get so triggered. I know, because this used to be me. We get so triggered and so angry, we hold on to this. That doesn't help you. It's typically never about the other person. It's usually always about the thing we need to let go of and heal in our past so that we can be less reactive to life's daily interactions. So you want to think about who are those people that maybe, maybe they are draining you, or maybe you need to figure out how to let go of your reactions. And if you're wanting to manifest loving relationships around you, you want to start thinking about who are the people that are really supporting me and those that aren't. And are you keeping people around because you don't want them to leave your side, or are you keeping them around because they're actually adding value and you're contributing to adding value in their life as well. And if you were trying to put out in the world that you do want loving relationships around you, then bring the joy that you want to create. And if the people currently around you don't fall into that desire, then it's time to let them go or just distance yourself. You don't have to say, "I'm cutting you out of my life forever," but start to distance yourself to create time and space for more abundance of love. In your life. And for your health, think about your health.

You have no idea what you're capable of. You have no idea. You have no idea the person you could be, the things you could accomplish, the things you can do, the people you can serve. You have no idea. That's why I don't like 10-year goals. 10-year goals, think about who you used to be 10 years ago. You know, could that person accurately, with any degree of certainty, predict where you could be right know? No. Like, if you're growing and you're learning, you're improving and you're expanding, you're investing in yourself, there's no way that you know where you're gonna be in 1 year, let alone 5 years or 10 years. You have no idea what you're capable of. And so it comes down to questioning everything, to question what you can and can't do. You know, we're told the story growing up of what you should do, and we're told everything, right? You're told when to show up and where to go and what to wear and what to eat and what age you should get married and what kind of career you should go into, right? We're told we should do all these things. You're told you're like, who, you know, nobody ever thought to ask us what we want for our lives. And you may not even know, and that's okay. Like, you may know where you want to go next, but you may not ultimately know the final destination. It's awesome, you know. I think if you know the final destination, you're thinking small, apart from having a mission, you know, the mission, the purpose. Why do you do what you do? I want to solve the world's biggest problem. People don't believe in themselves enough. That's what I'm chasing down every day. Do I know where I'm going to be in, in a year? Nope. Am I still making videos? Probably. But who knows? Like, question everything. I want to— I want people to believe themselves more. What's the best way to do that right now? It's through YouTube. But I think a lot of times people have too certain of a plan and then they end up playing small because there's nothing wrong with having goals and plans, but sometimes you need to jump off that. If you have a 10-year goal, quite often you need to jump off that goal 2 years in because something better has come along that actually better serves who you are right now because the goal you set was for who you used to be. You know, have you felt that? And so I'm here at Genius Network and this group of super successful entrepreneurs that meets once a month and masterminds and talk about about their business and pay a lot of money to be a part of something like this. And every time I'm around people who are having a high degree of success, I always try to have them pick me apart. So when we do, there's an exercise called hot seats where you go around the table and you basically share what your biggest, what you think your biggest problem is. And whenever it gets to my turn, I just want people to ask me questions. Because your biggest problem is you don't know what your biggest problem is. Right? Your biggest problem is you don't know what your biggest problem is. If you knew what your biggest problem was, you can go and solve it. For entrepreneurs, for ambitious people, for— you've got goals, like, you don't know what the real problem is. The problem you think you have is a problem. You know, the problem The problem you think you have, yes, very much is a problem, but there's a deeper problem underneath it that you're missing, that I'm missing. So this is where questioning everything becomes important. My default has become, instead of pretending like I know everything and I know all my problems, that I don't know anything and ask me questions. And in the process of asking me questions and learning about me, maybe you come up with some insight that I've never seen before. Everybody has their own way of processing, um, giving advice, you know. So I'm around people here, everybody here has a 7 or 8-figure or 9-figure business, and people here have sold their businesses for 9 figures. Crazy, awesome. And so they have their own way of processing things and asking questions and breaking somebody down. So instead of me coming in with the question and having them try to fit into my box, I'd rather fit into theirs, because in trying to understand how they process things, it'll probably make me stretch and grow and learn, and I'm probably gonna get a better result because they're gonna see something that I don't see. And so in the process of questioning everything, when people can break you down and you're open to it, right? Because we hold on to our identity like, no, no, that's not going to work for me. You know, even— oh, got a bee. I am allergic to bees. Maybe I should question that. I don't feel like questioning that today though. Do not want to get stung by a bee. I once got stung by a bee and only time in my life I've been stung by a bee and it I was on the floor and my back just swelled up from the bee sting. Anyway, maybe question everything except bee stings. How about that? There's been times when people have given me advice and it made sense and it really fit, and sometimes when it didn't. And even if it doesn't make sense, what I'll default in my head to saying is this This is either nothing, like the person didn't read me correctly, or it's the whole thing. Think about it. If you're really opposed to somebody's advice or feedback for you, if somebody gives you great advice, you go, "Wow, that's really cool. I should go and do that. Cool." They met you where you were at and you understand it. But there'll be other times when it doesn't feel right. It could be that it just wasn't a fit and they're giving you the wrong advice. Or you're so blind, and this is what gets me excited, is maybe I'm so blind, maybe I believe my story so much that the thing that you're talking about is actually the whole thing. Like, it's all I should care about because figuring out how to solve that, because I'm so tied to my own story that I'm not questioning enough. I'm coming back to the bee spot. Hopefully it's gone. I'm not questioning And figuring that out becomes the, the whole unlock. So a quick story on this. I did a life coaching session with Gary Vee's life coach, Beth Hendel, and at first I was shocked. I didn't know Gary Vee had a life coach, and so I was very excited to talk to her. And just like I've been explaining in this video, I went through her process. Like, how do you ask questions? What do you want to know about me? I don't want it to be— if this is a coaching session, just treat me as a client. Treat me as somebody who you're going to coach. What do you need to know from my story and how I act? And I'm going to, I'm going to be as open, as honest as possible. And what it led to was a lot of the stuff she was saying, um, was great, but my single biggest insight and takeaway was this, and I'm practicing this every single day now. The one takeaway that has honestly changed my life. Historically, I've been the person who believes in the plan. So what's my plan to get to the next step? Like, I want to go here, what's my plan? What's my plan? What's my plan? So I have the belief in the plan, and I wake up every day and I just do the plan because I believe in the plan. I'll have some days where I don't believe in a plan anymore. Like, will this plan help get me anywhere? Is this plan still working? Like, it's not working anymore. And that leads to some anxiety for me because I believe in the plan, and when the plan doesn't work, why happens. And so what I'll end up doing is making a new plan. So I have a plan, I believe in a plan until I don't believe in it anymore, causes anxiety, come up with a new plan. Following? So in creating a new plan, then I have certainty in the plan again and I'm fine and I'm rocking and rolling. But there are some days, there are some days when I can't come up with a new plan. The plan I have, I don't believe in anymore, and I'm racking my brain the I come up with a new plan and I can't come up with a new plan. If I'm the kind of person who believes in the plan and then I can't come up with a new plan, that's a really stress-inducing, anxiety-filled place to be. And it doesn't happen that often, but when it does and I can't come up with a new plan, especially in the moment, well, what I would end up telling myself is, great things happen to me. You know what? You know what happened? Great things happen to you. And I would use I used it as a self-soothing mechanism, as a coping mechanism, because I didn't want to just stay locked, because locked in that stress and it would be downward spiral. Like if I believe in the plan and the plan's not working and I can't come up with a new plan, then I don't know what to do with my life. And that would create a downward spiral. I've never gone anywhere close to depression or suicide, but that would lead to some dark, that could lead to some dark places. The way that I come out of it is just say, great things will happen to me, great things happen to me, they always happen to me, great things happen to me, and I'll figure this out. And that gives me the comfort to move forward into the uncertainty, and then something will come that I will solve it. And what she said was, GaryVee's life coach was, what you say to yourself when you need that self-soothing of great things happen to you needs to be your default state. So instead of believing in the plan as your default state and only going to great things happen to you when you are at the lowest of your low, flip it to the point where great things happen to you is the default, because that's where you're actually your best self. And I really felt that. I don't know how to do it. But even in questioning, how do I do it? I just have to believe that great things happen to me. So a big part of my routine now is, is I don't know how many times I'll, I'll say that to myself, feel that great things happen to me. I'm gonna put it as my new cell phone background. It's a, it's a constant reminder. Even making this video is another reinforcement of it. When people ask me what my goals are, there's been these exercises we've been doing I joined Ingenious Network here and I just keep reminding myself, I don't know, I don't have a 10-year goal. Great things happen to me. It's a constant reminder. And I used to live it before this awareness. I don't know, like how many times would I feel really down and low and anxiety-filled that I couldn't come up with a new plan? Maybe half of 1% of the time, like really small amounts. And now I'm probably living in great things happen to me maybe 5% of the time, 10% of the time, which is a huge jump from half of 1%, but it's still not my default mode yet. I'm still a believe in the plan guy. That's my ongoing challenge to myself. That's how I'm questioning. It's the willingness to question what you're doing because what you're doing right now has gotten you to where you're at. And if you're, if you're happy with where you're at, cool. But if you want more, You want to create more, you want to serve more, you want to bring more, you want to help more, you want more, you want to change, and you have to change. And the change starts with not just questioning everything out there, question everything in here. Questioning what you believe to be true, question who you think you are, questioning for sure what you think you're capable of. Because when you can get to the root of that, amazing things can happen. Because you made it this far in the video, I want to celebrate you. Most people start and don't finish. Most people never actually follow through. Most people say they want something, but they don't ever do the work to actually get it. But you are different. You are special. Believe Nation, you made it here all the way to the end, and I love you. So as a special celebration celebration. If you put a hashtag #believe down in the comments below on this video, I will showcase you and celebrate you somewhere on the screen in a future video because you are awesome. If you want to reprogram your mind, check the video right there next to me. I think you'll love it. Continue to believe, and I'll see you there.

I mean, the mind is like a computer program, and the fact that it's on a negative loop is because we programmed it on a negative loop. But you know, we could have been influenced when we were children and things like that. One of the things that the mind loves is repetition. I mean, loves it.