How to Turn Doubt into Power | Prove People Wrong with Unstoppable Belief

Prove them wrong.

Prove you wrong.

Do them wrong.

Prove people wrong.

Hello, Believe Nation, it's Evan. My one word is believe, and I believe in people more than they believe in themselves. And my sincere hope is that if you see in yourself what I see in you, you'll be able to change the planet. So to help you on your journey today, we're gonna learn how to prove people wrong. And as always, if you hear something that really resonates with you, please leave it down in the comments below and put quotes around it so other people can be inspired. And if you're leaving a comment within the first few hours of this video going live, you have a chance to win one of two daily prizes that we have. Good luck.

Did you ever have, let's call it, a normal job, Connor? A 9-to-5? Yeah, because The Irish thing is to get into a trade straight away. I was no different. As soon as I finished school, I was always getting pestered. What are you doing with your life? You're doing this, doing that. They didn't know what it was. They didn't know what MMA was. They didn't know none of this. They didn't know I could make a career out of it. As far as they were concerned, my mom and dad I'm talking about, as far as they were concerned, I was just getting into a cage and fighting with some other guy. They didn't know nothing about it. No one did really. But I knew, you know what I mean? I knew. And then I ended up getting a trade just to keep them quiet. 'Cause I used to have a lot of fights with me dad. What trade did you get? I ended up getting a trade as a plumber. Literally up in the back arse of nowhere, up in the Wicklow Mountains. And funny enough, that site was one of the biggest sites in Europe. Kiltearnan, it was right at that skiing place. Huge. And now it's just abandoned. Now it's just deserted. So I used to go up there, 6 o'clock, 5 o'clock in the morning, I was on that M50. I used to have to walk to the N4, about half an hour from me house, wait for some Limerick guy that I didn't even know. He'd drive on the M4 and I'd have to flag him down.

Nightmare.

Yeah, 2 hours down on the M50, 2 hours back. Literally 14-hour days. And I was the first year, so I had to go and do everything. I had to go to the shop, I had to go and get this and get that. So I always had trouble with that. I was like, this isn't for me, this is not for me. How long did you last? I lasted 18 months doing it, but it was tough, you know what I mean? Just, it wasn't the life for me, you know what I mean? And then John said, because I was training with John as well at the time, and then John got in touch and says, I have a show, I'm running a show, I'd like to fight on it. And then that was it. I just packed it in, didn't show up. Me dad used to come in and punch the head off me and like try and drag me out of bed and I just wouldn't go. You know what I mean? Had an uproar for a good few years with him over it. And that was it. I just packed it in, quit, and then focused on training. And that's— I knew what was gonna happen. I knew I was gonna get here. They didn't. It was a lot of stressful years. You know what I mean? A lot of tough times. But I proved them wrong. I proved myself right.

Don't ever let somebody tell you you can't do something.

Not even me.

Alright?

Alright.

You got a dream, you gotta protect it. People can't do something themselves, they want to tell you you can't do it. You want something, go get it.

Period.

You're not against bullying?

I'm not.

What do you mean?

I'm not against like bullying because I feel like the world is bullies. Like there's so many people who are going to tell you that what your idea is stupid or like you don't belong here or you don't deserve certain things.

And like, wouldn't it be a better place if people didn't do that?

But you're saying you're not against it because it's unrealistic to be against it?

I'm saying like we probably wouldn't have Kanye West, Bill Gates, or anyone without someone being like, "You're not worth it." Like, we wouldn't have them. And like, we wouldn't have people who were like, "No, this is worth it." Because if everybody's ideas was worth it, and if they felt that way, everybody felt like that, we'd just have— it'd be just like nothing. Everything would be the same. You need somebody to keep being like, "No, I'm right." You need a Joan of Arc who's like, "No, I'm right, I'm right, I'm right, I'm right." Even if it's crazy. Even if it's crazy. But like, and then eventually people are like, They're not—

Are you that way?

I mean, yeah, I like to believe that.

I mean, people tell me that.

Because you seem like such a little modest guy when you're on the show.

I'm a salty dude though.

Are you?

Oh yeah, I remember everybody who says stuff. Like, I mean, like, I got beefs with people. Like, I remember stuff. I remember totally. And I'm like, most of the things I do is just like, nah, I'm right. And I believe in myself.

You're vengeful?

Not vengeful, I'm salty. What's the difference? The difference would be like, vengeful is like, I'm gonna come and destroy you, I think. Like, it's like, I'm gonna wait.

I'm gonna take your number down and I'm coming for you.

I'm salty, which means, I think salty is a different thing because I'm like, I'm just gonna prove you wrong. I'd much rather you sit there and be like, huh, I was wrong. Because then I think that's growing. Like, there's lots of times where I've done stuff and I'm like, I was wrong about that, and I didn't even know. And then it makes you like look at things differently on experiences in your life. Like, I want to make people think like, you were wrong.

Ignore people telling you your idea is bad. They may be right, but the only way to know is to actually build it out. And I think the thing that works about Silicon Valley that's different than Mexico City or almost anywhere else in the world is the default response if someone says, hey, I'm going to start a startup, here's my idea. The default response is to be excited and think like, oh, why might that work? And in most of the rest of the world, the default response when you tell someone your idea is to say, oh, that's not going to work. And this is really toxic for startups because you have to believe in yourself. And, and the good ideas, because they sound like bad ideas, are so fragile and so killable that you have to be really careful to insulate yourself against this.

When I phoned some place in my country and a lady answered the telephone, I then asked, "To whom am I speaking?" She said, "You're speaking to me." I said, "Well, lady, I know I'm speaking to you." But what's your name? She said, who are you to ask for my name? What's your name? I say, well, lady, as soon as you tell me your name, I'll tell you mine. But as we argued as to who should tell his or her name, she became very cross, and she said, you seem to be a backward person. 'Have you passed your matric?' Now, matric in our country is a university entry examination. And I said, 'Well, lady, you must be very careful, because if the qualification to speak to you is the possession of a matric certificate, I might work hard and pass my matric and be in the same class as you are.' That was treason. She said, "You will never be in my class," and banged the telephone. How I wish she were here today. She would now discover that I have achieved more than pass my matric.

And you know when they say, oh, I would like you to do this for me, or— and I produce a lot of first-time filmmakers, but I don't produce all first-time filmmakers that approach me. And I say, look, if I say no and you give up, I'm sorry to tell you, but it's the wrong job for you. Because you live with rejection for decades sometimes as a director, and you end up making the movie you want to make. So if I say no, that doesn't mean I'm right or I'm wrong. You just say, "Fuck him, I'll show him later." You know, I'm going to make it, and that fat bastard is going to have to say, "I was so wrong," and hit himself in the head because he didn't do it. And I think that that's the thing to do is like show us, don't tell us, you know, do the things. And if you do them wrong, but you do them in your own terms, that's how I define success. Failing in your own terms.

Do you think that people underestimate you, underestimate your— how much you work on this stuff, underestimate your intelligence? And my question is, is that something you push back on or something you leverage?

Spanish?

Definitely something that doesn't bother me.

Okay.

When someone underestimates me, I love to get to know them and have them have one conversation with me to just understand that it's— I mean, I think the easiest question to ask is, "What does she do? What is your talent?" You know? And I jokingly said, I said, actually, to my husband the other day, I said, you know what, how— my next answer should be, like, sarcastically, how lucky am I? If I don't sing and I don't dance, but I'm still doing what I'm doing, how easy is my job? I don't have to do any of that. I don't have to be on stage like you working, you know, so hard, but we're still driving the same car. We're still living the same life, you know, so lucky me, you know, if it was that easy. But, you know, I think it's just like easiest thing to ask. For anyone to really assume that it's not a full-time job to have to sit and create things and come up with every single blog post, and I do, you know, 3 a day, and having to, you know, working on apps, it's— to me, it would be the same thing as people saying like anything blogging, like, "What do you do? You're sitting at home in your apartment and you're just on the computer." Like, that is such hard work. [Speaker:KRISTIN] I think people do say that about us. They disrespect it so much, you know, and they say that, you know, about the modeling world. Well, they just sit there looking pretty. It is a full-time job for, you know, models like, you know, my sister even, you know, Kendall. It's— I don't mind getting underestimated, but I feel for people that I understand how it could bother them if they were put in the same situation. Even filming a reality show, it's a full-time job. I mean, I think that— I know, you know, reality shows don't get the respect that I believe they deserve, and that's why I love being on one for so long, and I will, you know, always fight to, you know, be on as long as possible, 'cause I love to show and prove. But my personality is just, if you underestimate me, I would love to have a conversation with you. I would love to I just like to prove people wrong.

But I was dumping the pasta one night into the sink, and all of a sudden, Ramón Simón walks in, and he says, "You know, Barb, we have something serious to discuss. I'm going to marry your secretary." I'm like, "Tina?" She went from Tina the wonderful secretary— I won't even put a label on her, okay? I just couldn't believe I couldn't believe my ears or my eyes. I'm like, "What? How's that possible?" He said, "Take your time moving out." I took about a minute, grabbed a toothbrush, and walked out the door and moved in with my girlfriend Kathy, who was living on East 79th Street in a studio, and she let me stay there until I got my feet back under me. I should say that for the first time in my life, I don't know what hit me, I guess that hit me, but I can't believe I managed it so badly. I felt like I was a nobody. From somebody with a successful business to nobody because I was turned out for a younger woman. Tina was 5 years younger than me. I had to admit she was prettier. She had real blonde hair. I was already highlighting. I hated her for that. She was calm and pretty. I hated her. But I went to work every day. I wanted to fire Tina, but Ray reminded me He was the controlling partner, I couldn't do that. Tina moved into my desk in Ray's office where I used to sit, and I sat out with the salespeople. And every day I went in smiling like a puppet, but in my heart I was running around a broken heart and loss of confidence. I just thought to myself, my God, I was nothing before Ray found me. He picked me up, found me, he was my mentor, he gave me confidence, he gave me the money to start the business. Everything good that had changed my life all led to one place, which was Ramón.

Ramón Simón.

And I thought, he's right, I'll never succeed without him. But I can't even remember what clicked in my head, maybe desperation, but one day I just decided I'm not going to do this anymore. And I walked in and I said to Ramón Simón, you know what, I'm ending this business and here's how we're going to do it. We're going to chop up the 14 salespeople like a football draw. You can pick the first person, I'll pick the second. We'll do it fair. If you want to move out, you can move out. If you want me to move out, no problem. You want to keep the phone number, no No problem. Or I'll get a new phone number, whatever. You go first. He picked Norman Hirsch, our star salesperson. I picked Esther Kaplan, our not-so-star salesperson, but I had a plan for her. And we went right down the line, and I would say within maybe 6 minutes, we ended a partnership. Boom, like that. We had $37,000 in cash. He wrote me a check for half the $37,000, and as luck would have it, it was a real estate recession we were just about to to dive into. And why was it great? Because commercial space wasn't leasing well. He was on the 8th floor where my old office was. I rented the identical space on the 11th floor above him. There's a little ego in that, I'm sorry to say. How needy was I? And by Monday, this was on a Thursday, by Monday I moved my salespeople in, because in those times you could rent black desks, rent phones, bang, we're in operation. 7 salespeople moved in, and that was the birth of the corporate group. Right before I left Ramon Simon's office that day, or I should say Ray and Tina's office that day— and by the way, you know what his real name was? It wasn't even Ramon Simon. I found out from his mother Vicky. His real name was Ray Simon, and he wasn't from the Basque Country like he always told me. He was from 145th Street, Harlem. Go figure. All righty. Well, anyway. So right before I left the office, that's when Ray gave me the gift of a lifetime when he said to me those words that reflected in my head for the rest of my life. It still gets me going. "You'll never succeed without me." I'm telling you, I don't believe in negative motivation. I'm a positive person like my mother. But he really knew my number. If he had said, "I know you're going to be amazing," I'm sure I wouldn't have stayed in business in the tough times. But it was that scolding tattoo in my heart, "You'll never succeed without me," that every time I was near death growing my business through the ups and downs of the real estate recession, being overextended, being overleveraged, owing money, blah, blah, blah, that same phrase got me going again. He gave me an insurance policy for success by insulting me. Thank God he did. I have thanked him a million times. What happened to Ramon Simone? He married Tina. They have 3 kids together. They are so much more happily married than myself and my husband Bill. They were meant to be together. They were destined, okay? But still, thank God he gave me that insult to assure my success for the rest of my life.

Do not listen to the naysayers. If you are going to have a breakthrough, you've got to be able to silence the negative voices. That's the next step, and that's the next secret. Many of us have too many people speaking into our ears. I just call these people abortionists. So you've got to be careful. Your dreams, your visions, your desires, especially those that have been God-given, I want you to pursue them. I want you to believe that all things are possible. It is possible for you to go back to school. It is possible for you to heal your relationship. It is possible for you to go at life alone. It is possible.

Seems to be that managers from other countries come and they are quickly addicted to the place.

Yeah.

Have you spoke to anybody on that behalf?

They told me it's so hard, so tough, and all the people say Pep is not going to adapt. In that way. So that's why I'm here, to try to do it. So the people have, some of them confident it's going well, but some of them are in Germany as well. The people say the way you play is not possible here in the Premier League. So I said to myself, why not? Why we don't travel there to try it? And that's why. So it's a big challenge. Not just for me, but I am always in my teams. I was able to involve the players, and it's going to happen here as well. When that's happened, everything will be easy.

Thank you guys so much for watching. I hope you enjoyed the video. I'd love to know what did you think? What was the single biggest takeaway that you took from this video that you're going to apply to your life or to your business somehow? Leave it down in the comments below. If you're within the first couple hours of this video going live, you have a chance to win one of for 2 daily prizes as well. I also wanna give a quick shout out to Eduardo. Eduardo, thank you so much for picking up a copy of my book, Your One Word, and taking that picture and posting it to Facebook. I really appreciate the support, man, and I hope you enjoyed the read. So thank you guys again for watching. I believe in you. I hope you continue to believe in yourself and whatever your one word is. Much love, I'll see you soon.