How to Turn Rejection Into Success | Emma Stone

In any job, there are sacrifices. In any relationship, there are sacrifices. Every job requires compromise. In different circumstances, you need to do things that you don't necessarily want to do because it's part of your job. Obviously, there were a lot of hopes or dreams that I had, and those things coming true, it kind of makes you want to keep dreaming more.

What's up, Believe Nation? It's Evan. My one word is believe, and I believe that you have the ability to do something special that can change the planet. So to help you on your journey Today we're going to learn from actress Emma Stone and my take on her top 10 rules for success. Rule number 5 is my personal favorite, and I'd love to know which one you guys like the best.

I think keep making your own stuff. That's a big, big thing. If that was— I wish I had known that early on because I was auditioning a lot and waiting for other people to give me a chance. And now with the internet and all these other outlets, you can write your own things and act in your own stuff and just make really incredible, you know, incredible projects without having to wait for someone else to tell you yes. So keep making your own stuff. I mean, I was 15 when I came out to LA to audition, so I don't think I was even, you know, cooking with all 4 burners. And it's one of those things where you're like, I'm so lucky to be doing this that it's not like you can really complain. But I missed going to my best friend's wedding because of it. So it's like, there are those things, but I think we all have that. I mean, in any job, there are sacrifices. In any relationship, there are sacrifices. We're all, as human beings, dealing with that, balancing all the things that we want to do and we dream of doing with our responsibilities and our relationships. And yeah, so— Two options. You either follow my rules or follow my rules. Capisce?

Thank you.

I can do it a different way. That's fine, thank you very much. When you were starting out, what was your experience like in those audition waiting rooms? Similar to what you saw in the movie. Not quite as musical, but— And how did you get through the rejections? Just keep your head up and keep going. I think, you know, if you're trying to act, there will be a lot of rejection. That is part of the process. It never stops. It continues now. Like, there are parts that you want now that don't come to you. It's just— it just is what it is. It is. It's like being human. Yeah, there's lots of rejection in being human. It's just, it's just part of it. I think it, you know, and it can be really crushing, but it also is not life-threatening, thankfully. Do you think at some point in this business you need to compromise, or it's possible to just not compromise on anything and pursue what you think is the right thing to do? I mean, I think when it comes to the work you choose to do It depends on your, the way you are, your makeup, your financial state, all kinds of things. I mean, I think that some, I'm sure some people go through without compromising at all and some people go through compromising all the time. It just depends. I think that every job requires compromise in different circumstances. You need to do things that you don't necessarily want to do because it's part of your job. But yeah, I don't know. I guess it just depends on the person, what the viewpoint is. You think, generally speaking, in your career as an actress, have you had to compromise a lot or not? Not that much. In terms of roles that I've chosen or that I've wanted to be a part of? No, I've chosen every single one. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, I haven't done anything because I felt like I had to or because I was being forced to. But I was also lucky because if I wasn't able to pay my rent, you damn— Well, better believe I would take something that was a compromise. Like, that's very— so I understand how lucky that is in a huge way.

When you have the role of Skeeter in The Help, and then you're playing Gwen Stacy in Spider-Man, the internet buzzes because they always have somebody else in mind. They'll say, Dame Judi Dench should definitely have been Gwen Stacy.

I know.

I know.

Who is this Emma Stone that's playing this thing? Where does she come from to do that? So it has no effect on you?

No, I mean, of course it does. And I had to put the computer down because I knew instantly, and that was, you know, I was almost kind of grateful that I was shooting The Help when I auditioned because I knew what it was like to feel backlash already of, you know, people who loved that book so much and did not think I was right for Skeeter, and I completely understand because I read the book and neither do I. I just felt incredibly lucky, and how do you say no to an opportunity like that? You don't. You don't. But I, there came a point where I was like, I'm not gonna sleep at night if I go and I do, or I'll quit, or I won't challenge myself, I won't let myself do something like this because I feel unworthy of playing a part like that. The same goes for Gwen, and you kind of have to go, all right, well, I'm gonna do the best that I can as an actor. I'm only one person. I'm gonna fulfill it in any way that I possibly can and work the hardest that I personally can, and that's all you can really do. What advice would you give your younger self when you think back to those days? I actually don't really know that I would tell myself anything because I feel happy to be where I am now, and I feel like it all sort of unfolds in the way it's meant to unfold, so I wouldn't want to change any course. Stone credits her parents as well as her teacher for supporting her acting dreams. Maybe it was my first grade teacher, Mrs. Goldman, because she put me in the first grade play, and that was like an enormous moment for me. I didn't understand that. I didn't know, you know, at 6 years old what it was like to be on stage or what it would feel like, and I was, um, I was pretty hooked. But I didn't start acting until like 5 years later in youth theater. After I begged my parents. I begged and begged and begged for them to take me to this theater so I could audition, and it took me like a month to convince them that I wanted to be an actor because no one in my family is in, you know, in any way part of that. The thing that I've learned more this year is that I had a lot of, obviously there were a lot of hopes or dreams that I had, and those things coming true, it it kind of makes you want to keep dreaming more, you know, and keep thinking of the things that will excite you. And I don't think I knew how much I love challenges until Birdman came along, and then Cabaret, because I was scared. I was really— I was scared. It's— for me, it's a very, very different thing. And I didn't know that I was scared to really go there, but I was. And Alejandro sort of terrified me. And then breaking through it, just, it's been like the most rewarding. It was the most rewarding work I've ever gotten to do.

Do you have any urge at all to be the biggest movie star in the world? Is that part of any of your drive?

Wait, you mean I'm not?

Well, a few hours from now. Let's wait till these two movies come out.

You obviously think you're talking to someone I don't know. I don't know that that's the driving urge. But—

Is it ever? I mean, do you get your head turned by it, or is it—

To be the biggest movie star in the world?

Well, to be, you know, the whole celebrity, you know, being one of the biggest stars there is.

What do you think?

It's not what I get. It's not the read off you I get. I get the feeling that you would rather just go do your work.

I would like to do my work. Yes, definitely. I mean, I think that there's, there's really not much that you can complain about in a way that makes any logical sense with the kind of wonderful elements that come to doing the job that I get to do. But I don't— I would not say that I have the mentality of like, and now more, more, more, more, more, like bigger, bigger, bigger. That's not ever— no, ever the driving.

Because you could say to your agents, I want to do a studio movie I'm going to be the lead and—

Yeah, I don't think that the idea of the movie, what the movie is, without like a story or a script or a person making it behind it is going to be my driving force.

You might end up being in a Star Wars movie because you find it interesting.

Exactly, exactly. I was in the Spider-Man movies because I found them interesting and it was, you know, that was an incredible experience doing both of those. So yeah, but I think it just really, really does depend on the project. And I would try not to be the kind of— have the kind of fear that, oh, this is too big or this is too small ever about anything. I think it's just what hits. At first I was afraid. Oh, I got to move lower. At first I was afraid. I was petrified. Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side. But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong, and I grew strong. And I learned how to get along, and so you're back. You have to march. From outer space. I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face. I should have changed that stupid lock. I should have made you leave your key. If I'd have known for just one second you'd be back to bother me. Go on now, go. Walk out the door. Just turn around now, see, 'cause you're not welcome anymore. Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye? Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die? Oh no, not I. I will survive. Oh, as long as I know how to love, I know I'll stay alive. I got all my life to live, and I got all my love to give, and I'll survive. I will survive. Hey, hey.

Thank you guys so much for watching. I made this video because Namrata Shirsath asked me to. If there's someone you'd like to vote on for the next top 10, check out the link in the description and go and have your say. Finally, I want to give a quick shout out to Jennifer Price. Jen, thank you so much for one, your help in writing the book and sitting with me and doing all the interviews, as well as you picked up a copy of the book and took a picture and post it on Facebook. I appreciate all your support, and it was great to have you with me on that journey to make it. So thank you guys again for watching. I believe in you. I hope you continue to believe in yourself and whatever your one word is. Much love. I'll see you soon.

The world has been so, so insane for a very long time, but this year has been like shockingly horrible. And if people can find joy for 2 hours in sitting in a theater and dreaming and being transported. And I get to be part of something like that, it's, it's an amazing feeling. I really didn't have friends in the city for quite a while when I first moved there because I was 15 and I was homeschooled and there wasn't really a place to meet people when you're in that circumstance. So movies affected me so much in so many periods of time, especially in lonely periods or anxious periods, that it really feels so great to be part of something that might help people in that way.

Do you ever get sick of working?

Well, I'm not working right now. I mean, well, it feels like we're working, but no, I've had, I've had a while off. I've, I mean, I don't, I don't think I ever get sick of working. I think I just get, I've gotten, I've had periods of time where I've gotten really tired or I felt like I don't have enough to give maybe. And but yeah, I don't think the work itself is ever what I get sick of. Ever. What is a crazy audition that you had early on? You know, we are here at the Screen Actors Guild Awards. Getting that SAG card is a really big deal in the beginning. Do you remember kind of a, an audition that made you freak out a little bit? I think I, I mean, I relate to pretty much every audition in the movie. I've had a version of, of those many, many times. Um, I think the hardest part was for a while I auditioned for called back for a lot of things, which is great when you're an actor and you're getting a lot of auditions. And I wasn't getting called back for anything when I first moved to LA. And so they just stopped sending me out. So there was a large swath of time where nobody wanted me to even come in. And I think that feeling was actually worse than any of the, you know, the initial auditions and being kind of rejected.