My Favorite Top 10 Success Rules of 2016

Hello, Believe Nation! So we put out a ton of top 10 rules for success this year. It's been an amazing year, tons of fun, tons of motivation and inspiration, and I thought what a cool idea might be to end off this year is to share some of my favorite top 10 rules for success that were all produced in 2016 to give you guys one last clip to watch, one last jump of inspiration to go into 2017 strong. I hope you enjoy.

My assistant's got a great thing now in this. Once in every 4 months, somebody sends an email saying, "I've got a huge startup that I want you to invest in, but you've gotta sign this NDA." Right? Which literally every time gets an email back that says, "Fuck you." Right? And the reason is, I'm a humongous believer that ideas are shit, and that execution's the game.

Right?

We've all got ideas. Everybody's got ideas. Do you mean fuck you? The fucking ideas we all have here, we could probably sit here for the next 2 hours, draw them all out, record 'em, and predict the next 78 great startups over the next 9 years. And? So I think the thing that is another theme in entrepreneurship is there is way too much fodder brought to the idea. Uber was Magic Cab 3 years earlier. Uber is not an idea, Uber existed. It's called Magic Cab. But the guys that executed it sucked. So they lost. So I think, you know, if there's any level of romance left in this room about your idea, I'd like to suffocate it. Because I think the actual situation is what you actually do with it.

I talk to so many smart, fantastic, ambitious, idealistic, hardworking kids, and they're right out of college, they're in their entry-level jobs, and I'll ask them, "How's it going?" and they'll say, "I think I'm gonna quit." And I'm like, "Why?" They say to me, "I'm not making an impact." I'm like, "You know you've been here 8 months, right?" They treat the sense of fulfillment or even love like it's a scavenger hunt, like it's something you look for. My millennial friends, they've gone through so many jobs. They're either getting fired— I mean, it was mutual— Or they're quitting because they're not making an impact, or they're not finding the thing they're looking for, they're not feeling fulfilled, as if it's a scavenger hunt. Love, a job you find joy from, is not something you discover. It's not like, "I found love, here it is." "I found a job I love." That's not how it works. Both of those things require hard work. You are in love because you work very hard every single day of your life to stay in love. You find a job that brings you ultimate joy because you work hard every single day to serve those around you, and you maintain that joy. It's not a discovery. But the problem is the sense of impatience. It's as if an entire generation is standing at the foot of a mountain. They know exactly what they want. They can see the summit. What they can't see is the mountain, this large immovable object. That doesn't mean you have to do your time. That's not what I'm talking about. Take a helicopter, climb, I don't care, but there's still a mountain. Life, career fulfillment, relationships are journeys. The problem is this entire generation has an institutionalized sense of impatience, and do they have the patience to go on the journey to maintain love, to feel fulfilled, or do they just quit and on to the next, dump and on to the next? Ghost and on to the next.

When I was about 8 years old, I was— I grew up in the church and I was going to one of those Women's Day, you know how we had church all day long. I've been to Sunday school and then we're going to— and then afternoon they were having a women's tea from the women's board and they were having a tea and the little girl that was supposed to be there to do who was supposed to do the recitation had gotten ill. And so, they said to my stepmother, "We need some little girl. Can Oprah come back and do a recitation this afternoon?" My stepmother said, "Yeah, I'll have her back here this afternoon." So, you know, church ain't over till 1:30. So, by 4 o'clock, I had gone home and learned to recite "Invictus" by William Ernest Henley. It starts out, "Out of the night that covers me, black as a pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul." I was reciting it and doing the pit from pole to pole. I didn't know what I was saying. But at the end of the poem, there is the stanza that says, "It matters not how strait the gate, how charged with punishment the scroll." "I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul." Now, my little 8-year-old brain didn't really fully understand the power and depth of those words, but they sounded good enough for me to write 'em down and put 'em on my mirror. And those words, "I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul," became a mantra for me. What it said is, I am responsible for the choices that I make in my life. I am responsible. I am responsible. So, obviously, I grew up and was better able to articulate what those words really mean. And I discovered in physics class, those of you who remember physics, the third law of motion. You remember what that is? The third law of motion in physics says, for every action— it's called Newton's law— and it says, for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. So, what does that mean? That means everything that you are putting out into the world, every action, bam, there is an equal and opposite reaction. It means no matter what you're what you do. The energy of what you do, what you say, and most important, the energy of who you are is going out into the world, into your home, into your relationships, and that energy is always coming back to you. You are responsible for the energy that you are pulling out into the world, 'cause that very energy bam, is coming right back to you every single time, whether you believe it or not, because it is law. It is law. It is law that what you put out into the world is coming back.

If you're good at what you do, people will recognize that. I really believe it. I really believe that going out and playing good songs live as a great live band will make you successful. I really think it will, and it doesn't matter if you're at the shithole down the street or you're on the side stage at Bonnaroo or you're headlining Lollapalooza. If you're a great band with great songs, people will notice it. That's it. That's all it is. It's that simple. Fuck product placement and labels and A&R people and all that bullshit, it doesn't fucking matter. I swear to God, it doesn't matter. And if you back that up with the idea that just playing those great songs in your great live band is enough reward for you, then you're fucking set. But you gotta be badass. You just have to be really good. It's the other things that make up for your musical inability. I mean, as a drummer, I never felt like I'm gonna be on the COVID of Modern Drummer magazine because I'm the best fucking drummer in the world. I just knew that if you put me on stage without a fucking PA or floor monitors in a small club, that I would beat the fuck out of you. Out of my drums so much that people go, "Goddamn, did you see that fucking drummer?" Right.

Whoa.

And I'd walk away from every show like, there you go. I just beat the fucking piss out of those things and people saw it. People took notice for sure. And that was great. So at the end of the show, I was a successful musician because I had achieved what I wanted to achieve. So I honestly believe, I mean, I know lots of musicians that went down to South by Southwest and said, "Well, it's easy for you to say." I'm like, man, I was in the same fucking position you are in 24 years ago.

That was it.

I worked in a fucking furniture warehouse and I wanted people to like my music, so I played out as much as I could, you know? And if you really honestly, like I said, if you're passionate and driven and focused in what you do, if you're really fucking good at it, people will take notice. That's basically it. I mean, I don't understand the industry. I don't understand I don't understand where music is headed. I don't really understand technology. I just know that when you walk into a club and you see a band that blows you away, you are gonna follow that band. You're gonna either buy their CD or you're gonna find them online or you're gonna see them the next time they come to play. And it takes, that's what it takes. You don't have to stand in line at the song contest on TV to become a fucking fan. Popular musician, you know, to stand in front of some judge that doesn't even fucking play an instrument on their own goddamn records, tell you, "No, you're not good enough." Right. Fuck that. You know, go blow people away in front, in their face. And so it's kind of, you know, it's, it's, I honestly believe it's that simple.

I got a, uh, you know, I started working at this video store was pretty much what you're talking about around that time. And it was great at first, because I'd always hated day jobs and stuff. And so I got a day job, and it ended up being pretty good. But admittedly, I was there for 5 years. At a certain point, it was a narcotic.

All right?

I didn't have to keep pursuing my dreams. Because it's not what I want to do, but it's sort of, kind of close. And if I didn't have an artist's soul burning in me, I I could have made myself happy with that. If I didn't have an artist's soul burning to get out, I could have walked backwards a couple steps and just done that. And that would have been a fulfilling— well, to anybody else, it would have been a fulfilling life. It wouldn't have been for me, because I would have known I would have had something to say that I didn't get a chance to say. But it did put me to sleep for a while. And I've always just thought— I mean, what really got everything kind of truly going for me— you could point out a lot of different things, but the bottom line is the fact that— I realized that even the group of people I hung around with, they were all great, great, great fellas and great gals. But it was easy for me to think that I was doing a lot because I was doing more to try to move myself forward than they were. But that's not— yeah, OK, I'm a big fish in a puddle. So what? They're not doing anything. So yeah, I'm doing more than them. But I realized that actually I need to get my ass out to Hollywood and meet other people who are, you know, like, in my category or working a little higher, and I should be the weakest link in my chain that I have, and that'll make me be stronger, it'll make me run faster. I mean, like, an analogy I've always used is, all right, if you run the 100-yard dash with people that can't run as fast as you, yeah, you'll win. Hands down, you know that. But if you run with people much faster than you, all right, yeah, you might come in last every single time, but your time will be better because they're making you run all the faster. They're making you dig down just a little bit more. Doesn't matter that you won, your time is faster. And that's what I knew I had to do. I had to get out of Loserville and throw myself into a place where like, this is what the fuckers do for a living.

Did you ever have, let's call it a normal job, Conor, a 9 to 5?

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

'Cause the Irish thing is to get into a trade straight away. I was no different. Soon as I finished school, I was always getting pestered, "What are you doing with your life? You're doing this, doing that." They didn't know what it was. They didn't know what MMA was. They didn't know none of this. They didn't know I could make a career out of it. As far as they were concerned, me ma and da I'm talking about, as far as they were concerned, I was just getting into a cage and fighting with some other guy. They didn't know nothing about it. No one did really. But I knew, you know what I mean? I knew. But, and then I ended up getting a trade just to keep them quiet. 'Cause I used to have a lot of fights with me dad. What trade did you get? I ended up getting a trade as a plumber. Literally up in the back arse of nowhere, up in the Wicklow Mountains. And funny enough, that site was one of the biggest sites in Europe. Kiltearnan was right at that skiing place. Huge. And now it's just abandoned. Now it's just deserted. So I used to go up there, 6 o'clock, 5 o'clock in the morning, I was on that M50. I used to have to walk to the N4 about half an hour from me house, wait for some Limerick guy that I didn't even know. He'd drive on the N4 and I'd have to flag him down. Nightmare, yeah. 2 hours down on the M50, 2 hours back. Literally 14-hour days. And I was the first year, so I had to go and do everything. I had to go to the shop, I had to go and get this and get that. So I always had trouble with that and I was like, this isn't for me, this is not for me. How long did you last? I lasted 18 months down it, but it was tough, you know. It wasn't the life for me, you know what I mean? And then John said, 'cause I was training with John as well at the time, and then John got in touch and says, 'I have a show, I'm running a show, I'd like to fight on it.' And then that was it. I just packed it in, didn't show up. Me dad used to come in and punch the head off me and like try and drag me out of bed, and I just wouldn't go, you know what I mean? I had uproar for a good few years with him over it, but, and that was it. I just packed it in, quit, and then focused on training. I knew, I knew, I knew what was gonna happen. I knew I was gonna get here. They didn't. There's a lot of stressful years, you know what I mean? A lot of tough times. Um, but I proved them wrong. I proved myself right.

The only thing that stops you from getting what you want in life is the bullshit story you tell yourself of why you can't have it. You get that? What stops you back is the story, because the story stops you from getting honest. And if you can't get honest with yourself, there's no way you can go. Imagine like this— success in sales, in life, it's like a roadmap, right? You know where you want to go and you have this perfect strategy, the straight line to get there. It's a perfect strategy. It's going to get you there every single time. But if you don't know your starting point, if you're not getting honest with where you actually are, it doesn't matter how powerful the strategy is and it doesn't matter how powerful your goal is.

I'm going to ask you to set a goal today, right?

A 60-day goal. And let's say you really set this goal, and I'll show you how to do it in a brilliant way so it's visceral, so it makes you really feel it. You see it, you sense it, you smell the goal. That's step 1. I'm going to teach you the straight line, which is your strategy to get to your goal. But if you're not honest with where you are right now, your starting point, the map is worthless. There's 3 things that you need to know: where you are, where you want to go, and how you're going to get there. Those are the 3 things you must have to take advantage of any opportunity. I'm going to give you the strategy. I'm going to ask you to tell me exactly where you want to go for yourself. You got to get honest. Don't blame the boss. Don't blame the leads. Don't blame your job. Don't blame the industry you're in. Just get honest. If you don't like your industry, find another one.

You don't have to compromise yourself, you know. If there's something you don't feel good about, then don't do it. The most important choices I've made was to say no, and I've said no many a time to films that I just didn't— especially early on— I just didn't feel comfortable with. They— there was one script that was brought to me, I called it the nigga they couldn't kill. He was accused of raping he cheated his wife on him in the '40s, and they tried to hang him, but he didn't die. And they tried to electrocute him. They were like, it's a comedy. I'm like, it ain't funny to me, man. So I actually called Sidney Poitier, who I was fortunate at that time to, and still, to be able to call. And I said, you know, this movie's making— I'm sick. And they offered me $600,000 to play the nigga they couldn't Evan Carmichael.

That's what I call him.

I wouldn't name him.

And he said to me, and I'll say this to you, he said, the first 2 or 3 or 4 films you make in this industry, Denzel, will determine how you proceed. He said, I'm not going to tell you what to do, but remember that the first 3 or 4 or 5 films you make will determine how you proceed. I turned it down. I turned the money down. I needed the money. I turned it down. 6 months later, I got Cry of Freedom. So stick to your guns. If you don't feel like you should do it, then don't do it. Because you don't want to be, you know, you don't want to be a negative energy on the set. That's how I feel. So I'm like, you know, I ain't doing this because I'm gonna slap somebody the second day. So I just, you know, it's something— I think the most important decisions you can make as an actor, actress, is saying no. It's saying no, you don't have to take your clothes off if you don't want to.

I love me. So the day that you decide to stop loving me, I'm not gonna love myself any less. I believe in me. If you stop believing in me, I'm not gonna believe in myself any less. If you believe that I'm irrelevant, that no one is checking for me and that I don't mean anything to the world. Because you think or believe that about me, it doesn't mean that I'm gonna believe it about myself. See, the day that you start living your life according to everybody else's opinion is the beginning of the end. Most of y'all, and it's fucked up, I see it every day, all day. Most of you guys don't actually know your self-worth. You don't know your self-value. So you're like a vulnerable little child and you're shaking. And it's like, everybody loves me this week, so I love me this week. Next week it drops. So now you're running around insecure, feeling self-conscious and not loving yourself, sad and depressed. Based on the feedback, the responses, and the energy that the rest of the world is giving you. I wrote about this in my new book, which is coming. It's called Black Rose. It hasn't been released yet, but it's coming. I talk about the fact that fame is an addiction. Fame is one of the most unspoken addictions out there. So many celebrities and entertainers, athletes, and public figures, they base their self-worth on their relevancy based on everybody in the world checking for them. And as soon as people stop checking for them, then they stop checking for theyself.

Y'all don't love me no more.

I'm not selling records. I'm not number one in the box office no more. I'm not making as much money as I used to make. Oh shit, ain't nobody checking for me. So guess what? I'm not checking for myself. No one sees the value in me anymore, so I don't see the value in me anymore. Every time I go on Twitter, Facebook, they say I'm irrelevant, so I'm irrelevant to myself now. I ain't shit because you think that I ain't shit. No one loves me because you said no one loves me. I don't love me. The day that you allow the opinions of the outside world to dictate the way you feel about yourself, it is the beginning of the end of you living a blessed and self-loving, secure life. I can tell y'all right now that it is not the car that I drive or any of the jewelry that I own or the size of my house that defines my self-worth. I'm hot, I'm hot, I'm hot when you don't think I'm hot. I'm amazing when you don't think I'm amazing. I love me even if you stop loving me. You can say the nastiest, meanest, evilest shit that you could ever conjure up. It will never change the way I feel about myself. I'm telling you, that's the way I live my life. That's how I feel about me. Most of y'all are on Twitter, you're desperate for likes, you're desperate for the, the, the egotistical feeding frenzy. Feed my ego, feed, feed, feed, like me, like me, because I don't like me. I'm telling y'all right now The day that you allow the opinions of everybody on the outside world to define your day-to-day, month-to-month, and year-to-year, it's the beginning of the end. Love yourself. Believe in yourself. Love yourself. Believe in yourself, independent of the validation of the world. Have opinions and feelings about yourself, independent of the feedback. Why you gotta have somebody calling you beautiful every day in order for you to feel beautiful? Do you believe that you're beautiful, or do you only believe you're beautiful when other people say that you're beautiful? I'm just asking. Self-love is the cure to self-hate. If you make it to the end of this video, I want you to write, self-love is the cure to self-hate. These are the type of qualities that I'm going and have been instilling in my daughter. There is no man that you could ever meet, Shayla, that can make you feel more amazing than what you're supposed to feel about yourself. Nobody wants to be alone, but if you show up empty as an empty shell and you're expecting this man to fulfill you and fill you up with all of the love that doesn't exist, you're gonna be fucked up. Because as soon as he leaves, you're depleted, you're empty, and you have nothing left for yourself again. Never rely or depend on anybody to fulfill your heart. And if you don't believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, you better get to know him, because that's also a part of the process of self-love. You are supposed to love yourself independent of any feedback, comments, likes, shares, and any of all of this other social media shit. Some of y'all are social media whores. What does that mean? I, I, I, I, I, I ain't until people on my timeline tell me that I'm the shit. I love me independent of anything that anybody could ever say. Has nothing to do with being arrogant or egotistical. It's just a matter of knowing and being aware of self-worth. I love you. If you make it to the end of this video, I want you to write, self-love is the cure to self-hate. Self-love is the cure to self-hate. And I hope you share this video because I want this video to spread all over the world. Send it to WorldStarHipHop. Send it to all of the blogs and the websites. Self-love is the cure to self-hate. Shaman Tyrese spreading love always. Share, share, share. Click that share button. Spread love. Love circle. I love you always.

It's hard changing your life. It was hard when just over 3 years ago in the Penobscot Building in Detroit, Michigan, where I was operating my business and I fell on some hard times and I was sleeping in my office. It was hard coming into the lobby and the security said, "Excuse me, Mr. Brown, can we see you for a moment?" And I said, "Yes," and I walked up to the counter and he gave me an envelope. And he said, "Would you mind reading it here?" And I opened the envelope, and the envelope was from management that said, "This is an office tower. It's not a hotel. Please do not sleep in your office." And I said, "Excuse me, sir." I said, "I just work long hours in creating my business. I'm an entrepreneur, and right now things are bad for me." but they're not gonna be this way always. And I just asked for the opportunity to continue to operate like I'm doing. I'm not trying to make this my home. And it was hard coming through the lobby, and sometimes they would laugh, "There's a guy talking about becoming successful, and look at him. He's bathing in the bathroom upstairs on the 21st floor. He sleeps on the floor." him and two other dreamers up there. Look at them. It was hard, ladies and gentlemen, coming to speak to people, and I was facing financial difficulties in my own life. I was behind on my bills and my dreams, and I'm saying to them, you can live your dream. It was hard, ladies and gentlemen. It was very difficult to pick myself up each day believing that I can do it. There were times that I doubted myself. I said, "God, why is this happening to me? I'm just trying to take care of my children and my mother. I'm not trying to steal or rob from anybody. Why did this have to happen to me?" It was very hard. And here's what I want to say to you. For those of you that have experienced some hardships, don't give up on your dream. No one could have convinced me by holding on By continuing to push forward, by continuing to run toward my dream that one day I would have my own talk show. It's a long shot, ladies and gentlemen, from Liberty City, an abandoned building on a floor, never knowing my mother or father. It's a long shot being here with you today in this dome in Atlanta. It's a long shot. No college training, labeled educable mentally retarded, but I kept running toward my dream. Don't stop. Don't stop. Don't stop running toward your dream.

Thank you guys so much for watching. I hope you enjoyed. I'm really curious to find out which one did you guys like the best? Who is your favorite speaker? What was your favorite rule? Please leave in the comments below. I'm gonna join in the discussion. Finally, want to give a quick shout out to Bertheny. Thank you so much for picking up a copy of my book, Your One Word. It really, really, really means a lot to me, and I hope that you find your one word. So thank you guys again for watching. I believe in you. I hope you continue to believe in yourself and whatever your one word is. Much love.

I'll see you soon.