Say NO and Succeed: Wealth Secrets Unlocked

Good morning, Believe Nation! It's Evan. My one word is believe. I believe in you, and I want to see that awesome thing that you have inside you explode out into the universe to have a major impact. So to help you on your journey, today's message is learn to say no. Over to you, Maya Angelou.

There's a place in you that you must keep inviolate. You must keep it pristine, clean, so that nobody has the right to curse you or treat you badly. Nobody. No mother, father, no wife, no husband, no— nobody. Because that may be the place you go to when you meet God. You have to have a place with— that you say, stop it, back up. Not here, you must not. No.

No.

Absolutely. And that's one I told you 25 years ago.

Yes.

Say no when it's no.

Yeah.

Say so, back it up, because that place has to remain clean and clear.

And that has to be a place within yourself.

Yes, ma'am.

Yeah. In order to know when to say no, you have to know what you stand for. It's why I wrote this book, to figure out what your most important core value is, your one word, that's what you stand for, and therefore you know what you stand against. To know how to say no and when to say no, you have to know this is not what I'm about. I'm not willing to touch this. I'm not willing to go there. And if you don't know what you stand for and you don't know what you stand against, then you're always going to be subject to other people's opinions, other people's plans, other people's values and beliefs. Because if you have uncertainty, if you don't have clarity over what your values are, then you'll just follow somebody else's values. And that's very rarely in your best interest. And so getting really clear on what your values are, whether you want to use the one-word methodology or you have a different plan for yourself, that's fine. But having the self-awareness to figure out, this is what I stand for, this is what I want out of life, and this is also what I am no longer willing to accept. When people cross these boundaries, I'm not going to play anymore. I'm going to say no. Until you understand what your values are, then it can be really tricky to understand the difference between what is your value and what is a limited belief. So as an example, I was on a call with an entrepreneur a couple days ago, and he was struggling at his business, and he was working for a client, and the client was asking him to get more involved in their business. To do more work with them. And he was having a hard time figuring out whether he should do it or not. And there was two reasons why. One is because they were kind of shady and he wasn't sure how much, you know, in bed he wanted to get with them. And two, because they were asking him to take on more of a leadership role and to manage people, and he wasn't sure that he wanted to be a leader. He didn't know if he was good enough to be a leader. Those are two totally different processes that you need to break up. Right? So if they are shady, that's against your core value. Like, if you know what your core value is and then these people are against it, then no matter how much they're paying you or, you know, what they want to push you through, or even the good that they're necessarily doing, it's not worth it because they're asking you to cross the line that you're not willing to cross. You know, my one word is believe. If you want me to do something that's going to tear somebody else down and you're going to pay me a million dollars to do it, I don't want to do it because it's against my core value. It's easier to say no. It becomes hard to say no when there's a lot of money being thrown at you, right? The devil always comes carrying a bag of cash. So to know that this is where I'm going to say no and draw the line because I know what I stand for. So working with a shady company is a reason to say no potentially. The other side is the leadership. He hasn't done leadership before. He hasn't managed a team before. He hasn't been involved in that process before, and he's scared. That is a limiting belief. That's not necessarily a value thing. It's a limiting belief, feeling like you're not good enough, pushing yourself to get out of your comfort zone and try doing something new, acquiring a new skill that you're afraid of potentially acquiring, right? Jump into that next level. So there's a lot of different reasons to say no here and be able to separate them. If you're saying no, because they're a shady organization, then great. Then say no because you're standing firm on your values. If you're saying no because they want you to be a leader and you're just afraid because you haven't done that before and you feel like you're not good enough, that's not a good reason to say no. That's a limiting belief that is worth you testing out. Try it and see if you're a good leader, right? And if you get into it and you really feel like this isn't for you, then you found that out. But to make an assumption about something you haven't tried before is going to hold you back. And so until you understand what it is that you stand for and then stand against, it's going to be hard to make the important decisions in your life. It's going to be hard to say no when you really should be saying no. It's going to be hard to say yes to something when everything inside you is just afraid because it's a limiting belief, but you really should do it to push your comfort zone and get to that next place. Place for yourself. And so it comes down to the self-awareness. When you know what you stand for, you know what you stand against, you figure out your value system, you figure out your one word, the path forward becomes so much more clear that you can go so much faster, get so much more done because you're following the path that you're meant to follow. So the question of the day today is, I'm curious, do you guys know your one word? I don't think I've asked you that in a while. I'd love to hear from you. Share it down in the comments below. Really curious to find out. I also want to give a quick shout out to Bekisisa. Thank you so much for picking up a copy of my book, Your One Word. It really, really means a lot to me, and I hope you're enjoying the read. Thank you guys again for watching. I hope you have an amazing day. I believe in you. I hope you continue to believe in yourself and whatever your one word is. Much love, and I'll see you again tomorrow morning for another shot of en-spresso.

It's 8 AM, like, I gotta get to the office. And I was like, why? Like, why do I have to get— like, I always wanted to be a writer, I accomplished this thing, I could make a living being a writer, I have a home, like, I haven't been there in weeks, like, why am I here? And I was like, I was here because, like, I just said yes and I didn't think think about, like, I didn't actually weigh, like, the pros and cons of this scenario. And again, it's like sometimes you gotta do what you don't wanna do to figure out what you wanna do. But it was like I'd sort of distanced myself from a lot of things and I'd gotten my life in a good place. And then someone called me and offered me money on the phone and I said yes. Like, because it's so hard to say, like, it's so hard to say no to stuff, like, especially if you're like a doer, it's so hard to say like, I want to do this, but I also want to do that. I have to choose. It's easy to say like, I'm going to try to do both at the same time. And I said yes to both. Like, I don't think I've ever like quit anything. Like I've just added new stuff. Right. And so for me, that certainly has added up over time. To an unsustainable load?

Oh, I'm great at boundaries. I'm not great at boundaries. I'm kidding. I so thought that was going to be a laugh line. I thought you guys knew me. I thought you knew me well enough to know that. What? No, I don't have any bounds. I'm the permeable membrane. I don't know. I let the— you know, I'm a little better at it, but I have— I don't know. I have learned one important thing, which is that I think You sort of get to a point in your life where you think, "I have to learn how to say no to things I don't want to do." And that's a big mature moment when you start to begin to do that. But the bigger mature moment is when you learn how to say no to things you do want to do because you know that you just don't have time or you don't have energy or there just isn't— you know, you have to sort of triage your life and there just isn't an opportunity. And that only came to me very recently, that sometimes you have to turn down even the wonderful things in order to take care of your health or to take care of what you truly, truly, truly care about, not just what you truly care about.

How can you find the time, the energy, the effort, and the nerve to start, to make that first call, to put out that first bandit sign, to put up a Craigslist ad, to start the 25 to 1, to call banks? How do you do that? Well, this one today is learning to say no. Now, one thing I've learned from the most successful people on the planet, if you wanna say millionaires, I've been lucky enough to meet billionaires, The one thing I've learned, the more they say no, the wealthier they get. Now, you may have heard me say this before, but it's that important of a success principle. It took you a lot of yeses to get here. Yes to overtime, yes to missing your kids' soccer or dance class, yes to your wife or your husband getting upset 'cause you're working later, yes to getting my program, yes to going to a live event, yes to getting the education, yes, yes, yes, yes to your friends, You know, you, if you're watching this, you are the busiest people other people know. They say if you want something done, ask somebody busy, 'cause they know how to get things done. That's you. You're the person in your family, amongst your friends, I know it or else you wouldn't be watching me, that get asked for emotional support, financial support, for a ride, for help, for advice. So you are used to saying yes. So this week, I want you to say no. I want you to make a list of the things that you must say no to so you can focus on you, so you can make a massive impact for your family. You wanna help family members that need money? Say no to them for a year, become an incredible real estate investor, and then if you wanna cut 'em checks, you can. If you wanna give more to your church, you wanna give more to charity, say no for a little while to so many things so your brain's not all over the place. We think we have ADD, most of us don't have ADD, there's just too much coming at us, and we say yes to too many things. So here's the assignment. What can you figure out to say no to this week? Because if you say no to things that don't improve your life, don't improve your family's life, don't, possibly increase your future income or put you on a path to the goals that you have to spend more time with your family, to get out of a job you hate, to pay off bills. I don't know what they are, but you have to make a— not a to-do list, but you have to make a list of what not to do. Who are you going to say no to? Who are you going to disappoint? What are you going to let go? What habits are eating up your time?

Let me give you the one word secret to happiness.

One word.

This is all you need to be happy. The most important word ever.

If you had to think of one word that's most important to you or that sums you up or that would be kind of like a little beacon.

Hey, Believe Nation! If you want to know what the most important one word is for Tony Robbins, Gary Vaynerchuk, Oprah Winfrey, will.i.am, and Howard Schultz, I have a very special secret video for you. Check the description for details.