Steve Siebold's Top 10 Rules For Success (@Siebold)

The middle class mantra, more than anything else: I just want to be comfortable. I don't know about you, but I was taught in high school and college, all throughout my academic career, that hard work equals success. And the wealthy laugh at that. A shift takes place. You've desensitized to the word no. And when that happens, it's magic. You know, I don't think you work as hard for the Corvettes and the fancy houses as you do for milk. This dude was mean. Middle class thinkers live in delusion. World-class thinkers live in objective reality. And I'm thinking Muhammad Ali needed a bodyguard, you know, and I gotta fight him? This is crazy, this is nuts. Most people don't really understand how wealth is built. And I'll make you more money than you pay me. If I don't, let me go in 2 weeks. If I do, hire me. I cannot fail. I can only learn and grow. I don't want any feedback. I don't want any pushback. Just do what the man tells you to do. He's a mental toughness coach. Two of his four books on mental toughness are international bestsellers. His clients include Fortune 500 companies like Johnson Johnson, Toyota, and Procter Gamble. He's been featured on the Today Show, Good Morning America, CBS, and Fox. He's Steve Siebold, and here are his top 10 rules for success. For most of my life, this is where I fit, right in the middle class. How do I know? Because that's the results I got. That's how. If you really want to know where you fit, look at your results in any given area. Area, you know, if you've been in the business 2 months, in this business, and you just got licensed, and you're saying, well, I've gotten lower than middle class results, well, you gotta give yourself some time, right? But over time, look at your results and it'll tell you where you are in the classes. The middle class mantra, more than anything else: I just want to be comfortable. Oh, just let me be comfortable, please God, let me be comfortable. Nothing wrong with it, no, I'm not putting down, not judging anyone or anything like that, this is just what they tell us. Over and over and over. I want to be comfortable. And Larry Wilson, a good mentor of mine and friend, says that when the middle-class thinker gets to the pearly gates, St. Peter says, "Congratulations, you've arrived safely at death." One of our clients is a guy named Charlie Idle. Charlie is the CEO of Simmons Mattress Company, you might have heard of, and a fantastic world-class performer, one of the darlings of the Fortune 500. And Charlie said one time, I was talking to him, and he said, you know, Steve, we were talking about this comfortable middle class idea, and he said, you know, I thought about that for a long time, and he said, when I abandoned that thought process, that's when I started my ascent to the top. And I said, well, tell me more, Charlie, because I love to just probe these guys and find out what's inside their mind, because I know it's different than I've been thinking most of my life, and that most of us think. And he said, you know, I'll give it to you straight. I never forgot this. He said, "I just didn't want to see myself sitting in a nursing home one day, looking out the window, thinking to myself that I played it safe." And I just— that just hit me like a Mack truck. I thought, "Wow, that's a pretty good idea." I said, "Well, what did you do?" He says, "I decided to go for it. I decided to abandon fear and stop being comfortable." He said, "I learned—" watch this— he said, "I learned, Steve, to be I learned to get comfortable— you know what the finish is— being uncomfortable. Yeah, they all say that. You've heard it, I've heard it, right? Over and over and over. I learned to get comfortable being uncomfortable. Why? Because I had to have the vision. The vision had to be fulfilled for my family and myself. Had to happen. Wasn't taking no for an answer. And if it wasn't gonna happen, there are no guarantees, and I ended up looking out the window at the nursing home and I had a few bad breaks and it just didn't happen, at least I could look out the window and say, you know, I didn't make it, baby, but I went for it. I went for it. I was tough. I was fearless. I went for it. Yeah, I fell a little short. Life happens. Sometimes you get bad breaks. Didn't happen the way I wanted to, but I went for it. That's got to be a pretty good feeling even if you don't make it, you know. I mean, hopefully we all will make it, but it'd be a pretty good feeling to know you did everything you could to make it. We trade hours for dollars. We're taught, and I don't know about you, but I was taught in high school and college all throughout my academic career that hard work equals success, and the wealthy laugh at that. I mean, they know hard work really doesn't, unless you're talking about hard work in terms of thinking. Hard work really can get you— I mean, my dad was a bricklayer here in Chicago most of his life, and he worked really hard, he made a good living, but certainly was never wealthy because hard work typically doesn't— hard physical work especially doesn't equate to wealth. Leverage creates wealth. And how do rich people use leverage, and how do they use their thought process to get rich? Well, they leverage everything. It's one of the greatest lessons I ever learned from the wealthy in the last 26 years of interviews. They leverage their education, their contacts, their knowledge, their money. They leverage everything to help them build greater wealth. I work with primarily with salespeople of large, very large corporations, Fortune 500 sales forces. That's what I do pretty much every day. And you would guess this, you might be in that area or maybe not, but You'd probably guess that the biggest problem that they all have across the board, anywhere in the world we work, is the fear of rejection. Right? Why? Well, psychologists say it's because most of us have the greatest addiction you can possibly have, and that's the addiction to the approval of other people. It works when we're children, but we carry it into adulthood. And it causes most of us to stop asking people to buy, or to get an ILG, or to marry us, or to dance with us, or whatever it is. We're addicted to this approval of other people. I think my friend Dan Caro talked about this a little bit earlier on. Well, the world-class have a secret. And this one, you know, people say secrets, everything's a secret. Some of it's not. This one is a little bit of a secret, at least that I've found among world-class salespeople, and here it is. This is the beauty. They overcome this addiction through a process that psychologists call systematic desensitization. Systematic desensitization. Now granted, these are the two biggest words I know. I get that. But it sounds complicated, but it's really not. Here is how it works. Systematically Over time, they desensitize to hearing the word no. Yeah, see, at first you ask to buy, you ask someone to buy, you ask someone to get an ILG, whatever it is, and they say no, and you go, ooh, like Terry just talked about, ooh, feeling the pain, emotional pain. But after you ask and you ask and you ask and you ask, psychologically, all of a sudden, a shift takes place. You've desensitized to the word no, and when that happens, it's magic. It's a big part of the mental toughness process and a big part of the secrets of the world-class, especially in sales. Once it happens, they start to see everything as a game. Once you start to see asking someone to get an ILG, selling a product or service, or whatever it is you do, you start to see it as a game. You no longer associate emotional pain with the word no, and then what happens as a result? You start asking everyone, and you get very dangerous, and you also can get very rich doing that exact thing. Has anyone seen the movie, I was just watching it on the plane coming down from Atlanta yesterday, Cinderella Man? You seen that? Did you see the clip? I thought it was, it was a really emotional movie, don't you think? I'm on the plane, metal top of the sky, guys next to me go, what's wrong, pal, you want a Kleenex? Jeez, you know, it was a tough movie. But the part I liked the most was— makes this point just beautifully, and I'd never— I had never seen it before. But when he's in the ring, I forget which fight it is, but when he's in the ring and he's supposed to lose and he's losing, he's getting beat up by some big guy, and he sees his kids freezing in the Depression and no food. You remember that? He sees it in his mind. And then he wins the fight because it drives him, because he's thinking, I gotta fight to keep the lights on. And this is 1930s, right? During the Great Depression. My kids are starving and I have no heat. And he's living in New Jersey. And he flashes— if you haven't seen the movie, he flashes this on his mind. He's in the ring, he's sitting there going ready to go back in. And he's sitting there and he flashes this picture of his kids and they're freezing. And they were— this is the truth. This is what was happening. He couldn't afford to pay his light bill. I mean, his electric bill. And he saw it. So he came out there like King Kong. And the next day in the press— this is a true story. In the press conference the next day, they said— one of the reporters goes, "Oh—" I'm trying to remember his name. What was his name? What was his name? The fighter. Yeah, James J. Braddock. Thank you. So they're in the press conference and someone says, "Oh, Mr. Braddock, I got a question for you." He says, "Go ahead." "What happened to you? 3 years ago you couldn't fight, you know, you couldn't beat up anyone. I mean, what happened?" And Braddock said a mentally tough thing that all these world-class performers have. This is the golden secret of this process, you guys, I promise you. He said, "Now I know what I'm fighting for." And he said, "What are you fighting for?" And he said, "Milk." Silence in the room. Because a couple days before, he picked up the milk, you know, they delivered the milk back then, right? And it had the overdue notice on the bottle. So he couldn't pay the milk. Kids can't have milk. I'm fighting for milk. You want to go up against the guy who's fighting for milk? I don't want to. I don't want to. That's a mean dude, man. You know? I don't think you work as hard for the Corvettes and the fancy houses as you do for milk. This dude was mean. He wasn't taking no for an answer and he didn't. It's a heck of a story. If you haven't seen it, Cinderella Man. It's a great movie. It's very moving emotionally. But that's what it is, I think. That's what I found anyway. Most people don't know why they're running in the house, so why should I fight? The enemy of the champion is delusion. Middle-class thinkers live in a state of mild delusion, especially when it comes to their careers. The average person believes they are far more competent at what they do for a living than they actually are. Many people believe they're overworked and underpaid, and this is rarely true. In a free market economy, we are normally getting paid very close to what we're worth. Employers aren't stupid. They're not going to pay $100,000 a year for a job that's only worth $75,000. If they did, they wouldn't be in business very long. Compensation is based on supply and demand, so if you're not getting paid what you believe you're worth, you're always free to lease your professional services to another organization. Here's my point, and this may be offensive to some of you, but remember that this is mental toughness, not Club Med, okay? Middle class thinkers live in delusion. World class thinkers live in objective reality. The world class thinker knows that her compensation is directly related to the number or size of problems she is solving for an organization. If she wants to make more money, she asks for the opportunity to solve more problems or larger, more complex problems, and that's all there is to it. Champions take full responsibility for their results, and that includes the compensation they receive for the work they do. So, the first step in the process of becoming a world-class performer and catapulting your compensation is to get into objective reality in regards to how much the services you perform are really worth. The secret is to remove all emotion from this thought process and see what you do for a living strictly from the eyes of the people who pay you to do it. The first critical thinking question to ask yourself is, how difficult would it be to replace you? The second question is, how much would it cost to replace you? And the final question is, what would you have to do to double your income in the next 12 to 24 months? Once you begin asking critical thinking questions like these, you've already started the process of differentiating yourself from your competition. And if you're not sure of the answers, schedule a short meeting with your boss. The downside of getting into objective reality is it can be painful to face the truth. The upside is you know exactly where you stand and precisely what you need to do to dramatically increase your pay. Talk to most middle-class thinkers and they'll swear to you that their company is paying them the least amount of money they have to. The truth is your employer would love to make you rich. They'll gladly pay you more money than you can spend if you can help them solve complex problems no one else can. Several years ago, I took up kickboxing. Great workout. Lots of fun. So I'm in the kickboxing club one day, and the owner comes up to me. He says, "Steve, would you like me to set you up with a sparring partner so you'll have someone to practice with?" I said, "Yeah, sure." So he introduces me to this guy named Big Jim. This guy is 6'4", 300 pounds, solid muscle. No, no kidding. He says, "Steve, not only is Big Jim the 3-time arm wrestling champion of the world, but he was Muhammad Ali's bodyguard back in the '70s." And I'm thinking, Muhammad Ali needed a bodyguard? You know, and I got to fight him? This is crazy. This is nuts. So I'm in the ring with this monster. I'm in the ring with him. This is like Hulk Hogan versus Pee-wee Herman. Not good. So I'm in the ring, and I'm bouncing around doing my little thing I learned at the kickboxing club, you know, punching. Kicking and he's not even swinging at me. He's just walking around. He's got this big chest like this. He's walking around like this, looking mean. And at one point he goes, "Go ahead. You can hit me as hard as you want." And I already was. So, I'm bouncing around like this, and finally he starts to look like he's getting mad, and his face got a little red, and he goes, "Look, you've got 3 seconds to give me your best shot." Like, we're on the street. You got 3 seconds or I'm knocking you out. Like, where's the owner? Where's the owner? Come back, help me. I didn't know what to do. I mean, what would you have done, right? So I'm bouncing around like this going, I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm going to die. I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do. And finally I went, hi-yah! And I punched this gorilla as hard as I could right in the groin. Yeah, it was a good shot too. He catches my fist in the palm of his giant hand. Now his face is beet red, the veins in his neck are bulging out, and I said, "I'm dead, aren't I?" And he said, "You would be if we were on the street." I was like, "Oh, thank God." He said, "That was a really stupid move. What were you thinking?" I said, "You scared me. I'm a tennis player. You scared me. I didn't know what to do." And he says, "Steve, look, look, think about it. I got at least 100 pounds on you. I've been fighting professionally for 30 years." He says, "Steve, you're fighting a fight you can't win. The only way to win a fight you can't win is not to fight." You should have run out of the ring. I said, where were you 2 minutes ago when I needed you, you know? But I thought to myself, that is nonlinear thinking. And it never crossed my mind. It never crosses most people's minds because we're trained, as you know, to think linear, right? In school, ABC, 1, 2, 3, linear thinking, when we all know the big problem problems of the world are really solved with nonlinear, big thinking. It's one of the great secrets of the world class I learned in 25 years of interviewing these people all over the world. Keep an open mind. Keep an open mind and be careful who you're associating with, because most people don't understand how money works. Just the thinking about money works. And again, I didn't either. I'm not standing out from, you know, talking from an ivory tower. I didn't get it either. But most people don't really understand how wealth is built. And so start listening to wealthy people. Open your mind and start listening to wealthy people and associate with them through books, seminars, CDs, whatever you possibly can to get exposure to their consciousness. All right, so if you're stuck in the middle class role, how do you change your mindset to get into the world class role? Well, that's exactly what I did 26 years ago. I started the process. I think first of all you have to to learn how rich people think and how it's very different than the average person. And after, again, all these interviews all over the world, it's like these two groups are living on different planets. They operate in a completely different mind space. Yeah, well, and sometimes it seems like when you're struggling to make money, it seems like you're always struggling to make money. And you say that that is just a repetitive behavior typical in the middle class, right? Sure, it's like right now unemployment is so high and people are thinking, I want a job, how can I get a job, but there are no jobs. The rich would think— think like a rich person instead. Now, the rich don't need jobs, but if they did need a job, I'll tell you exactly what they would do because I know so many of them. They would go to a store and say, how can I make your cash register ring? You don't have to pay me for the first 2 weeks. I'll sell, I'll do customer calls, I'll stock shelves. It's better than sitting at home, and I'll make you more money than you pay me. If I don't, let me go in 2 weeks. If I do, hire me. I cannot fail. I can only learn. I cannot fail. I can only learn and grow. And I got that one from our fellow ILG faculty member, Superman himself, Larry Wilson. I interviewed Larry many years ago, and he said, Steve, there really is no failure. He said, it's all a stepping stone to the next level. I didn't get it at the time. I get it now, I think I get it. I got a call from a company on Wall Street. And I had— it's a very fast-growing, one of the fastest-growing companies on Wall Street. And the interesting thing about it to me is that they make a lot of money and they're growing super fast. But the average age is about 25, as far as their salespeople go. And they're just hungry. They're just like you guys. They're hungry. They're young. And they just don't take no for an answer. So they called me and asked me to keynote, do a keynote speech at their national convention in Atlantic City a couple years ago. So I did it, had a great time. They were 300 of their top salespeople qualified for this deal. And it was just a group about this size, as a matter of fact. Fantastic, great people, a lot of fun. And I never heard from them again. I just did a speech and that's what they wanted. So I get a call from the president, who's 39 years old. He's a self-made billionaire. 39 years old, started from scratch. Nice guy, tough as nails, mentally tough, focused like you can't believe. Calls me up and he says, Steve, I got a problem. And I said, okay, what's happening? He said, well, I'll tell you what, since Atlantic City, baby, oh, we're making money. Oh, it's good. I mean, I got 300 of the richest salespeople on Wall Street and we're cranking, man. It's just going really well. I said, "All right, what's the problem? It sounds pretty good to me. Why do you call it?" He said, "I have 25-year-old salespeople going to the emergency room with chest pains." He said, "You're the mental toughness guy. Can you help?" And I said, "I don't know. I don't know. Let me think about it. I'll get back to you." So I'm driving home from the office that night to my house, and Einstein's quote came into my head: a problem cannot be solved at the same level of consciousness or thinking in which it occurs. So I thought, okay, these salespeople are going to the emergency room because they're, they're putting this pressure that we talked about earlier with the balloon, right, on themselves. It doesn't exist in the universe, but in their minds it exists. Perception is reality. Yeah. So I know it's a very low level of consciousness, but they can't see it. Can't see the forest for the trees, like Einstein talked about. So I thought, okay, I've got something. Called Michael back the next day. I said, I think I got an answer for you. Didn't even ask me what it is. He says, great, I'll see you in New York. This is the way the guy is. He's amazing. So I went to New York, and I went to their office, 300 of their top salespeople. And you have to sort of see this office to believe it. It's, uh, I guess it's about the size of a football field. It's one level and they work in these like half cubicles. You can still see all the salespeople, they're like ants when you go up on the top and look down. And they're all over the place. And you can see them all, but it's like one floor and it's like the most intense thing. They have this big alarm that goes off when the market opens and they start selling and they sell by phone. And this is kind of what it sounds like. It's the best I can do. They work with these headsets and they have these appointment setters, I guess you call them, up on these risers, and they say, okay, I've got John Smith on line 6, go. And they wear these headsets like this, and they pace like tigers in a cage. It's wild, you got to see it to believe it. Okay, now talk to me, baby. 6.5%? I can't make any money on you. You're killing me. Geez, now will you be reasonable, John? We've been doing business for years. You won't let me make any money. I just— They're like this all the time. And they're good, but they're tense. They're tense. So I came up with this idea. It's a crazy idea. So Michael gets up there, the president, and he says, all right, you guys, fall in, fall in. It's about the same size crowd as you guys. And they're all standing by their cubicle. They got the Armani suits on, the Gucci fancy whatever suits, and the alligator $2,000 shoes. In the fancy dresses and the whole— and they're standing there looking at me. Now I knew them from Atlantic City, but not all that. They looked like they might attack at any time. I wasn't sure. A little worried about that, but they're standing by their cubicles. And we're right before the market opens. And they're looking at their watches. And Michael goes, "All right, you guys, fall in." He said, "Look, I'm not going to waste any time introducing Steve Siebold. You already met him in Atlantic City." This is how they talk. "You already met him, so let's not waste any time. Just get to it." Here's the bottom line. I don't know what he's gonna tell you because he hasn't even told me. But this is it. At the end of the day, this is what it is, you guys. I don't want any feedback. I don't want any pushback. Just do what the man tells you to do. He's a mental toughness coach. Just do what he tells you to do. And he starts pointing people out. You, just do what he says. Especially you. And then he goes, "All right, Steve, you're on." I'm like, "Great intro, yeah, thank you, wow. Came all the way from Florida for this." So I got up there and they're all looking at me pretty mean and everything. You ever see the movie Wall Street? Michael Douglas, Gordon. This is 300 Gordon Gekkos. Nice people, they're really nice, but they're tough as nails. Sounds like before I said that, you know, these guys eat their young, kind of same kind of thing. So I walk up and they're all looking at me real seriously. And I said, okay guys, I said, well, let me first of all congratulate you on your success. Wow. Whoo. Since I seen you in Atlantic City, you know, just great things. Congratulations. I'm not going to change anything you're doing in sales because obviously you're doing it and you're doing it darn well. Great job. I'm just going to add a couple of things today. And then I'm going to let you sell and do just what you do every day. You're not going to change a thing, just a couple additions. So if you'll reach under your desk, you'll see one of these moose head masks. Just look at me. I had to keep a straight face or I can't laugh. Close the whole thing. So, and so, so if you reach under there and get the moose head mask, And I said, and I've had these custom made on the West Coast. And they go right over your headphones. I said, so just go ahead and put the moose head mask on over— these are Wall Street killers. Put it over your headset. And then just— it's got the little Velcro straps, which are very convenient for this. So put them on there. Put the Velcro on. I used to see them looking. I had to keep a straight face all the time. So I'm like, OK. And I'm wanting to laugh, but I can't laugh. So I said, now, once you— they're all putting it on. They didn't say anything though yet. So I said, all right, now one of the things is you have to pull the top down because it's important that you see the little eyes. That's very important. You got to get the whole effect here. So pull those down. And all of a sudden, one of them said, "Michael, what's the deal? Come on, what is this?" And Michael jumps up. "You guys, I told you! Listen to what he says!" And he had the mask on too, so it added a lot to it. Flopping around. And I got to keep a straight face. So I'm back there going, don't laugh, Steve. Don't laugh. Metal Tough is coming. Control. Don't laugh. So, sorry, you guys. Okay, go ahead, Steve. So I said, all right, everyone have it on? Okay, it looks good. Those look good. Just keep the antlers up. That's good. And they're all looking at me. So if you reach in your front drawer, just one other thing I'll let you guys sell. I don't want to stop your selling here. There's one of these clown noses, and it's a, it's a, it's a It's a one-size-fits-all, which is convenient. So just put the nose on. Keep your ears up. Gotta keep the ears up. You gotta have that. So, and that's it. They're all looking at me like, can't laugh. So I said, that's it. Just do what you do all day long. Don't change a thing. All you have to do is just keep the antlers on and The nose. We'll debrief at 4 o'clock when the market closes and we'll go from there. Good luck. Go sell something. And you guys, without even missing a beat, get John Smith on line 2. Let's go. They forgot all about it. Okay, now come on, can we do some business here today? Because you're killing me, man. I mean, I don't know, I don't know why I came into work. I can't make any money on you. Jeez. And all of a sudden they'd break, they'd look out and they'd see the antlers going across the office. They just Freak out laughing and be like, "I'm sorry, no, I'm not laughing at you, John. I'll call you back. I'll call you back. I'm sorry. I'm not laughing at you." This went on for 8 solid hours. It was one of the funniest things I've— I should have brought these guys, the film crew, with me. I should— I didn't film it, but I should have. Can you imagine? I could have sold it on television. It would have been the new reality show. Wall Street: The Reality or something like that. So at the end of the day, I— we did the debrief. They went through the whole day with it and they kept it on. They did exactly what I asked them to do. At the end of the day, we had them up here and they were standing. I said, all right, you guys, great job today. What did you learn? Remember, young group, all under 40 years old, salespeople, most of them in their 20s, and like some of the people here, as a matter of fact. So little guy in the back of the room, maybe 21, 22 years old, raising his hand like this. I said, go ahead. And he said, I got it. I got it. Message received. I said, okay, what'd you get? He said, we gotta lighten up. We gotta lighten up. I mean, yeah, we're all making all this money and this is all fantastic and we're living our dream and hey, great. It's not worth dying in the process for. Let's lighten up and still be successful and not die, not go to the hospital with chest pains. It's not worth it. Let's remember to lighten up. Message received, thank you. And I said, there it is. That's the end of it. Debrief over. So here's what I want you to do as you go forward. Just take this mask, don't change anything you're doing obviously with your selling, but take this mask and put it on the corner. We just lost South America down here. Problem down there in Brazil. I don't know what's happening. You never know what's gonna happen when you're on stage. I'm telling you, you just gotta be prepared for everything. So I told him, I said, I said, put the, you know, put the mask in your desk, and then when you get really tense and the pressure's mounting and you're thinking these low-level thoughts, then just remember to lighten up. Thank you so much for watching. I made this video because Younes Abaga asked me to. So if there's a famous entrepreneur that you want me to profile next, Leave it in the comments below and I'll see what I can do. I'd also love to know which of Steve's top 10 rules is gonna make you think the most. What thoughts are coming after watching some of those clips? I'd really love to know. Leave in the comments below and I'll join the discussion. Thank you so much for watching. Continue to believe, and I'll see you soon.