Stop Being MEAN to Yourself | Taylor Swift

That was, I think, something that really frustrated me at the time. Like, guys, don't you understand? I promise this is what I'm dying to do. Having always been a writer first, I'm obsessed with the syncopation of the way that words sound when they're said a certain way. I think people don't know they want to be surprised, but I think they do want to be surprised. I get awakened by song ideas all the time. When you start to compare yourself to other people, please change the channel in your mind to something else.

She's an American singer singer, songwriter, and actress. She became the youngest woman ever to be included in the Forbes Most Powerful 100 list. She's one of the best-selling artists of all time, having sold over 40 million albums. She's Taylor Swift, and here's my take on her top 10 rules for success. Number 3 is my favorite, and make sure to stick around all the way to the end for some special bonus clips.

The biggest challenge of this year actually was convincing members of my own team that this was a good call. I'd get kind of called in front of a group of people who have known me and worked with me for years, who would sit down and say, are you sure you wanna call the album 1989? We think it's a weird title. Are you sure that you wanna put an album cover out that has less than half of your face on it? Are you positive that you wanna, you wanna take a genre that you have, that cemented yourself in and completely switch to a new one that you are a newcomer to? And answering all those questions with, "Yes, I'm sure," that was, I think, something that really frustrated me at the time. Like, guys, don't you understand? I promise, this is what I'm dying to do. The biggest kind of struggle turned into the biggest triumph when it worked out. You can only hope that as a writer, you start trying different things, and you try different chords or different structures of songs, different beats that you've never really explored that path before. You know, and I think having always been a writer first, I'm obsessed with the syncopation of the way that words sound when they're said a certain way. And once I've kind of done something once, I always want to go to a different direction and never repeat myself. So as a writer, I think that— I've always hoped that my music would constantly be changing, because you never want to make the same album twice, the same song twice. And, you know, my greatest hope has been that as I grow, my fans will grow up with me, and as I change and my life changes, my music will change as well. So wish me luck there. I was trying to— that video was just about dancing as badly as you possibly can. I think for me, I read all these comments from my fans about feel embarrassed all the time. You feel humiliated or left out or lonely. And so I guess I just wanted to make a music video that was just sort of like, sort of embarrassing and sort of like just not cool, like not being cool at all, not trying to be. Because I wanted, you know, I can tell them all I want, be yourself, it doesn't matter if people think you're sexy or edgy or cool, but if I don't lead by example, then I'm not actually conveying that message fully. So with this video, like It's not a sexy video, but it conveys a message I really want to get across to girls that, like, if that's not your thing, you don't have to try to be like everyone else. The only time in the last couple of years that I knew as soon as we finished a song that it was sort of a— like, I hate to say, like, game changer, but that it was sort of a next-level situation was when I finished "Shake It Off." And— but I wanted to be sure, so— I— that was the very end of the recording process. I finished "Shake It Off," and I knew I was done with the record. And I flew back to Nashville, had a bunch of label people who I trust and a bunch of management who I trust and my mom and dad sit in my parents' living room, and I played them the full record, and I didn't tell them anything about how I thought I had written the first single. I didn't tell them anything like, "You gotta listen— like, listen for track 8. 'Shake It Off' is the one. I'm telling you." But when that song came on and halfway through, all of them look at me me and go, this is the one, it was such a validating feeling because I thought I knew, and I was so sure I knew, and then it turned out I did know.

About how you wrote a novel when you were 11 years old?

I was 14. 14? No, wait.

You were younger?

I was like 13, I think. 13? Yeah, but I did, I was, I have a lot of different epiphanies. I always have different ideas as to like, ooh, you know, this would be a good idea. And one summer, I was at the shore. We used to spend our summers in Stone Harbor, New Jersey, and all my friends were back in Pennsylvania, and so I had nothing to do. And so I had this epiphany, I'm going to be a novelist, and I'm going to write novels, and that's going to be my career path. And so I would write different chapters of this book and send them back to my friends, and I'd write them into the book under different names. But totally described their personalities. And it was a really fun way to spend the summer. And my parents were so frustrated because I would never go outside. I'd just be like locked in this little study with my computer. But I've always been a writer first. It's my favorite thing is how you can convey a thought or a story or completely describe a character or a situation through words and the right combination of words and the whole process of editing and re-editing and rethinking and imagining, and you get these little mini, um, just epiphany ideas that come to you. And, um, I think that that's what I loved about writing the novel, and that's what I love about poetry, and it's what I love about songwriting. I've always been really influenced by lots of different things musically, and I've tried to stay really open to that because I think that, you know, when you're making your 5th album, You can make things the way you've always made them, and that's fine, and it'll work, and that'll do, but it's not the same as if you continue to surprise people. I think that people don't know they want to be surprised, but I think they do want to be surprised. I never understood it when people would say, "Oh, you know, in your 20s, you just need to be alone." And I just, I never quite got it, 'cause they would never explain to me that it's so important to define yourself on your own terms. You think about it when you're in love. That person's opinion affects your opinions, and everything you do goes through this filter of, "How would they feel about it?" Because if you're a caring person and you're in love, then that's what you do. But there's something really wonderful about changing your life if you want to, cutting your hair short if you want to, moving to New York if you want to, changing directions of your entire creative outlook if you want to, and having it only be on your own terms. I try to stay pretty open to inspiration every single day, all day. And if I come up with some line that I feel like sounds like it should be a highlighted line or it sounds like it's an interesting observation, I'll write it down in this kind of notepad that I have in my phone. And when it comes time to finish a song, I'll just go through all the lines and look at them and go, "OK, this works for this, this works for that." It's really fun. It's fun to continue to stay open to inspiration all the time and always be looking. Do you have like any sort of favorite place for writing songs? No, actually. I kind of have become— you have to adapt yourself to a million different places to write when you're always on the road, because I just— I don't have the luxury of saying, well, I have to be in this certain room at this a certain part of town, and it has to be, you know, all one color tone, and there has to be Smartwater in there. You know, like, it's just— you're never, ever anywhere for more than 2.5 seconds. So, you know, I've written songs in airport bathrooms on paper towels. I've written songs—

What song was on a bathroom towel at one point?

Oh, it hasn't come out yet. Oh, okay. You know, in the bus bunk, you'll wake up in the middle of the night, and you'll have this idea, and then so you write it, and— you're up at 4 AM, or, you know, I get awakened by song ideas all the time. And it's just— it's like I wake up and I'm just like, "Oh, great." Because I know I won't forget— I won't remember it in the morning, so you have to record it, and then it's this whole thing where you check your phone and it's like mumbling and you don't understand. You thought it was great at the time. When you start to compare yourself to other people, please change the channel in your mind to something else. Because I think that when it comes comes to how we see ourselves. Other people are really mean, but we're really mean to ourselves. And so it's easy to get confused. And when you do get confused, um, and you start feeling like you're not special, or you're not different, or you have nothing important to say— we all feel like that sometimes. What I want you to do right now, if there's one thing you remember from tonight, remember what I'm about to say. You need to look into the mirror in the morning and not tell yourself that you're not special, or you're not good enough, you're not pretty, or you're not awesome. I'm gonna tell you right now the things you actually are not, okay? These are the things you really are not. You are not the opinion of somebody who doesn't know you. You are not damaged goods just because you've made mistakes in your life. You are not going nowhere just because you haven't gotten where you want to go yet. Those are the things you actually are not. Now I want to tell you what you are. You are You are your own definition of beautiful and worthwhile. That's what you are. And you are someone who is wiser because you made mistakes. Not damaged.

Wiser.

You are somebody who could be at this moment right now sitting there, there, there, there, there, there. You are going through whatever you're going through in your life that's stressing you out or confusing you or making you upset, but you got out of bed and you put on an awesome outfit and you came to a concert, and now we are all having the best time ever on a Wednesday night. You know, it's not about perfection. It's, it's about just getting on with things sometimes. Sometimes you just get credit for getting up and going on with things. You don't have to do it perfectly. Um, and I think that we mistake our mistakes for damage, and we think other people will judge us for them. But I want you to know that the way I see mistakes, they don't make you damaged. They make you clean.

Thank you so much for watching. I made this video because C. Annie asked me to, so if there's a famous entrepreneur that you want me to profile next, leave it in the comments below and I'll see what I can do. I also love to know which of Taylor Swift's top 10 rules had the biggest impact on you and why. Leave it in the comments below and I will join in the discussion. Finally, I want to give a quick shout out to Kuljeet Daliwa for ordering my book. Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. To get your chance at a shout out in a future video, make sure you email in the receipts after you preorder the book. Thank you guys so much for watching. Continue to believe, or whatever your one word is, and I'll see you soon.

If I were to give advice to a girl or a woman wanting to get into the music industry, I think the first thing I would tell them is that, you know, you're gonna have thousands of decisions to make on a daily basis that will end up depicting your image, your sound, all the things that will shape the public's perception of you as an artist. Let those decisions be your decisions. Don't let them be some man in a suit's decisions or some A&R guy wearing a beanie. Whether it's what you decide to wear, how you feel confident on stage, what you want your persona to be, what you want to stand for, what you want to stand up for, and most of all, creatively, I think you should steer the ship. And you have something else, I'm I have no idea what they're talking about. Oh, Zach wanted to show you how he learned how to play guitar. I taught him how to play guitar.

I got my first guitar lesson from Taylor.

He's really good at it for, like, one lesson. It's really great. One lesson? He had, like, one lesson, and he's good at it. And we learned— I taught him how to play Pumped Up Kicks by Foster the People. Really?

Yes.

Yeah. All right. Are you going to play guitar?

Yeah, we can play a little bit.

There's two guitars coming out. Oh, great.

Do you have two picks? Yeah, there's a pick right here.

There's a pick right here. Oh, there they are.

So yeah, you can use my guitar. I'll use your—

cool.

You have your own picks, Taylor.

Sweet.

I know.

That's all I carry around.

Taylor Swift picks.

Got guitar Taylor Swift picks.

Yeah, there's my face on it, which is a little awkward. But yeah, show her the chords that you know.

OK, let's see. What's the first one again?

E minor. Here and there.

All right, here we go.

Mm-hmm. That sounds so good.

Right? Thank you. Thank you.

G. Only a girlfriend would react that quickly like that. Then to D, D, D. D, D, D. There. Then A major. There it is. All right. So you go like—

Yeah.

Yeah, that sounds great. Like that?

Like— Better run, better run, I'm on my gun. I'll be at ya, don't duck it. Better run, better run, faster than my bullet. All right, we need to change up the lyrics though.

If you want to, like—

All right, see what I can come up with.

All right, ready?

Yeah. Helen works a long day, giving weird interviews in a slick cool sweater. And it gets kind of weird. Yeah, calling us out like we're boyfriend and girlfriend. But it's not, because we're just sitting here. And we got cat videos and dance on Betty White and stuff. And it's always going to get weird.

I think this is about being weird.

This song is all about Ellen.

It's been—

yeah.

Every single time I come on this show, it's really weird, really weird, all because of Ellen. Every single time. Every time I come on this show, it's really weird, really weird. Always end up dancing.

I've been on this show 8 times now, and I still remember Ellen hiding in the bathroom with a hidden camera. And she scared me so bad, and I fell, and I could have died. She always asks me who I'm dating every time I'm on the show, and I don't even know why.

But it gets 5 million hits on YouTube, 'cause every single time I come on this show, it's really weird, really weird, all because of Evan Carmichael. Every single time I come on this show, it's really weird, really weird, they always end up dancing. Wow, that was amazing. We'll be right back.