Stop REGRETS: Become Your Best Self With Ne-Yo's Advice

If you're looking for ways to have no regrets, use haters as fuel, and love yourself, then this video is for you.

All the negative things and the positive things that led you to where you are today got you to where you are today. And if not for those negative and positive things, you might not be here. Whatever you do, somebody's not gonna like it. So with that being understood, why the hell would you do anything other than what the hell you want to do? In school, they would let me wear my hat because I used to get picked on so bad. I used to get in so many fights behind people making fun of, making fun of my hair thinning.

Need motivation? Watch a Top 10 with Believe Nation. What's up, it's Evan. My one word is believe, and I believe in you. I believe you have an amazing gift inside you that I want to see exploded onto the world. So let's get your motivation to a 10 and get you believing in you. Grab a snack and chew on today's lessons from a man who grew up with a single mom and had his first R&B group disband, to becoming a successful solo artist and having multiple songs hit the US Billboard Hot 100. He's Ne-Yo, and here's my take on his top 10 rules of success. Enjoy! Alright, let's kick things off with rule number 1, my personal favorite: don't regret anything.

Something bad might happen to you in order to teach you a lesson, to prepare you for something better later on. I know it's hard to think like that in the moment of the bad thing happening, But if you really think about it, all the negative things and the positive things that led you to where you are today got you to where you are today. And if not for those negative and positive things, you might not be here. You might not have the great job you just got or the little girl sitting next to you, anything. Like, you can't live with any regrets, you know what I'm saying? 'Cause it's all a learning process from the beginning to where you are now to where you will be. You're learning the whole way, and you gonna drop some stuff. You gonna fall on your face. You gonna break some eggs, and that's just part of what it is to be alive.

Rule number 2: Focus on quality.

Secret to longevity? Uh, it's honestly not a secret at all. It's common knowledge out there for anybody that's willing to accept it and abide by it. Uh, quality. That's it. You can't base what you do around the trend, you know, around what's hot currently, because the second that that's not current no more, you're not current no more. The second that that's not hot no more, you're not hot no more. So for me, it's never so much been about a specific genre of music or a specific kind of song. It's just quality music and good songs. That's really the only secret. Like, I don't care how old you are, I don't care where you come from or what you did before that moment, but the second you hit them with that record that hits them here, you're in. And that's really all it takes. Just make sure that you are on the pulse of what it is people need to hear, not so much what they want to hear. Because what you want and what you need is two completely different things. You'll want something until you don't want it no more. What you need never goes anywhere.

Rule number 3 is use haters as fuel.

You know, haters exist and they will pretty much the duration of your career. They're going to be there. But you know, you got to use it as fuel as opposed to, you know, a reason to not do what you wanna do. Do you. Time and experience will teach you that there are genuinely people out there that hate you just for the sake of hating you. They don't need a rhyme or reason, they just hate you. Maybe it's because they at home or at their mama house still writing their name on orange juice. Maybe that's it. Whatever the case may be, there's people out there that just ain't gonna like you. There's no way to please Everybody. Somebody, somewhere is gonna say something crazy. Somebody, somewhere is gonna have a fucked up opinion. Somebody, somewhere is gonna be disappointed in whatever you do, good, bad, or otherwise. Whatever you do, somebody's not gonna like it. So with that being understood, why the hell would you do anything other than what the hell you wanna do?

Rule number 4 is don't limit yourself.

I wanna be viewed with the greats, period. Not just the R&B greats. I feel like that's kind of where people miss the mark with me a little bit. Like, R&B is, R&B was my introduction into this whole music business thing. It's where I came in at. But R&B is one room in the mansion that is music. You know what I mean? And I'm trying to explore the mansion. I don't got to just sit in this one room. I don't think people should put me in this one room. That's the reason that, you know, I ventured over into the pop world, ventured over into the EDM world, just trying to get people to look at me as music in general, not just R&B music, not just pop music. Dance music, but just music.

Rule number 5 is learn your craft.

The one thing that I regret to say has been very common is that nobody wants to seem to work— nobody seems to want to work for it anymore. Oh. You know, there's a lot of dependency on Auto-Tune and things of that nature. Now don't get me wrong, I would be a complete hypocrite to sit up here and say that I haven't used Auto-Tune, but there's a difference between using it as a safety net and using it as wings. You know what I mean? You don't jump off the building with your Auto-Tune wings and fly around. That's not how you're supposed to do it. There is a thing called singing on key and learning how to do so. And it seems like a lot of, you know, a lot of the kids that run up on me don't even understand what that is. It's like, well, why? Why when I could just Auto-Tune it?

Rule number 6: Chase your dream relentlessly.

I came to LA in a van with 4 other guys, and we were a singing group. And I— this is the crazy story, okay? What was the name of the group? Name of the group was Envy, E-N-V-Y. We were from Las Vegas. And right after high school, I remember we sat in a Denny's. Shout out Denny's. We sat in a Denny's and wrote out on a napkin our plan. Our plan was we were going to go to California in my friend's van. We were going to find the Capitol Records building, park in front of the building, stand on top of the van, and sing until somebody from Capitol Records came out and gave us a record deal. The things we didn't factor in was the fact that we Didn't have any money, didn't know anybody in LA, didn't have anywhere to stay in LA. Yeah, so basically that van was home for the 4 months. So you went to Capitol Records, you and your boys, you stood on top of the van and signed. Stood on top of the van and signed. And what happened there? Well, some people came out. Security people came out, and you know, but we were determined. You know, we went back like every day for like 3, 4 weeks. Weeks to the point where like, like, it was, hey Todd, how you doing? All right. Todd was a security guard. What's going on, Todd? See you tomorrow? All right. How long did you live in the van, Neil? About 4 months, yeah. With the 4 dudes in the van? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mom had no idea, you know. I couldn't, I couldn't— I've always felt like once you leave home, like, you're out, you're a man, you know what I mean? So I couldn't call home and, Ma, you got $30 you can send me? I didn't want to do that, you know. So Mom would call, hey, how you doing? Oh, I'm good, I just You know, just got out the shower. We about to go to this little meeting. No, I'm at a payphone. Wow, man. Around the corner from Capitol Records. Like, yeah, you know. That's deep. That's deep. And you stayed with it, and you became successful. So congratulations, man. Keep that dream alive.

Rule number 7 is love yourself.

My joints started thinning when I was, like, in 8th grade. Oh, so it was coming for you. Yeah, it was— yeah, so it was bad. I used to— in school, they would let me wear my hat because I used to get picked on so bad. I used to get in so many fights behind people making fun of my hair thinning. So, I mean, after I became an adult and just didn't give a damn about what people thought, it was just weird for me not to wear a hat at that point 'cause I had been wearing 'em for so long. But— so that was my crutch for a long time. So this year I decided, you know what, I'm all about this self-love. I'm always preaching self-love. Ain't nothing wrong with you being you. How can I preach that and I'm hiding under this damn hat? Yeah. Mm-hmm. So decided to take the hat off this year. I did the whole first season of World of Dance without a hat, just on some, let me prove this point. Just own it. Self-love. I'mma just own— If it's bigger than average, cool. Whatever the issue is, I'm gonna just live in it and people gonna rock with me or they not.

Rule number 8 is be passionate.

While judging, which factors led you to your decisions? It's about your passion. Like, it's one thing to get up there and dance well. I wasn't looking for the person that was dancing well because it's World of Dance. Everybody's gonna dance well. Everybody on that stage is amazing. So what I was looking for was whatever that step above amazing is. And I feel like that comes from me being able to see the passion of what you're doing. If the piece is sad, I'm supposed to be sad. I'm supposed to want to get up and dance too. If you can't make me feel something with what you're doing, you basically failed.

Rule number 9 is experiment.

The lines are being blurred more and more every day. You know, what's hip-hop, what is R&B, what is pop, what is dance, what is this, what is that? All the— you know, and I kind of dig that. I dig that, you know, this hip-hop cat might do something with a little melody on it where it could almost be called R&B. Or this R&B guy might use a cadence, you know, within his melody that could almost be hip-hop. Almost be hip-hop, or either one of them will go over, you know, this 4 on the floor beat to where it could almost be called a dance song. I like the fact that everybody's kind of mixing and blending everything and coming up with these new sounds.

And rule number 10, the last one before the bonus clips, is perform amazingly.

Stand up just one time. Lighting you up like a volcano and cover her with my love. Baby girl, you make me say ooh, and I just can't think. I'd rather do it than to hear you sing.

Good pickup, I like that.

Sing right in the way you do. We do our thing. We do the thing we do. Oh baby, Girl, you make me say sexy love through the things you do. Oh baby, baby, keep me strong, keep me running back to you. Oh baby, I, I love, I love to you. Baby girl, you know you're my sexy love.

Now I have some special Neo bonus clips just for you guys, but before that, my question of the day today is, as around his rule number 1, don't regret anything. Do you have regrets in your business? Do you regret not doing more? Are you worried that you might regret not doing more when you look back, you know, 30 years from now? I want to know what you think about regret and does it fuel you in your business or not? Leave in the comments below. Thank you guys so much for watching. I believe in you. I hope you continue to believe in yourself and whatever your one word is. Much love. I'll see you soon. And enjoy the bonus clips.

How many songs would you say you record a week? A week? Lately, not as, not as many as before. You know, there was a time, there was a point in time where I go in the studio, knock out 6, 7 songs in a night. But now, you know, I got, I got 3 kids and a wife. So I can't really, can't really get it in like that no more, you know. So now, but now it's quality over quantity, as opposed to 7 songs in a night, I'd do like 3 songs, like 7, I'd do 7 songs in a night and 3 of them might be dope. Now I'll do like 3 songs in a night and 2 of them will be amazing and that one will still be workable, just not as good as the other 2. Right. Now it's that. How do you balance being a songwriter and production work with a career as a performer? Is there ever a time when you envision yourself as working only behind the scenes? Yeah, yeah, I actually started out only behind the scenes. Writing is, It's my first love, you know, it's what I got into the business doing and it's what I'll do forever. I could be 105 and still write a song, you know, whereas trying to step out on stage and dance at 105 could be a problem, you know. So let me give you the one, one secret to happiness. One word, this is all you need to be happy. The most important word ever.

If you had to think of one word that's most important to you or that sums you up, or that would be kind of like a little beacon. Hey, Believe Nation! If you want to know what the most important one word is for Tony Robbins, Gary Vaynerchuk, Oprah Winfrey, will.i.am, and Howard Schultz, I have a very special secret video for you. Check the description for details.