Evan Carmichael reviews a sales page for internet marketing research services and finds the core problem: no clear call-to-action. The site also has overlapping text, weak headlines, zero social proof, and no testimonials. He recommends adding a prominent contact button, client photos, and concrete examples of past work.
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Hi, I'm Evan Carmichael, and welcome to another edition of Ask Evan. In today's video, I thought it'd be easier to show you a screen capture. It's a question from one of my readers, Kaelan, who posted in my forums about a sales letter that he created for one of his products, and he wanted my advice on what to do. So here's his post. It was, "Can someone please review my product description?" And he wrote here, "Hello everyone, I just started providing research services to assist other internet marketers. I was wondering if you could take a look at my copywriting and give some feedback on what seems to work and what I can change. Here's the URL. Thank you in advance for any feedback you may have. Kaelin." So I thought I'd walk you through it, and we'll click on his link here and see what shows up. So here's his sales page, and before I even start reading the content here, there's a couple things that throw me off that you might want to look at, Caelan. The first is the text here is hard to read. It kind of goes over the computer monitors here. The graphics look very kind of stock photo. Doesn't really give me a lot of confidence that it's a substantial company or a successful entrepreneur that I want to give my money to. So you want to work on the graphics a little bit and not have the text overlap on each other. It might be just a Chrome issue but something you want to look at. I see that you've included all sorts of the different social media signals. You've got Digg and Facebook and Twitter but they all have zero and that doesn't look good. If it's a sales page and everything is zero, I would probably recommend taking those off of here so it doesn't look like nobody's buying from you or nobody really cares about this site. The other thing here is the archives are not that old, right? So we're in August now, you know, the site's only been around for 5 months. It doesn't again give me a lot of confidence that I'm buying from an expert, somebody who knows what they're really doing, if they only have 5 months of history here. I would probably lead off with something of a testimonial if you can, if there's been clients that you've helped and you can show some social proof that Hey, people are using my service and really like it. So if you could have a picture at the front of somebody who's used it with a good testimonial, either written or video, that'd be great and go a long way to start convincing people that what you're selling actually works. So that's before even looking at the content. So let's actually get into the content itself. The most important thing that's going to impact people is your title. So your title here is Online Rookies Internet Market Research Services. So not anything that's really going to, you know, give me a wow factor. I'm not encouraged to want to read on. So you got to really grab people with your title and make them want to learn more about what you have to do. So you definitely want to rework your title. There's a lot of text here to read that you're hoping people will go through, and people don't like to read text. So try to get right to the point of what you do and why you you're different than everybody else. So kind of grab people a little bit more. Next to the different services that you have, email marketing, keyword research, Twitter networking, guest blogging, I put little icons. People are visual and like to see pictures. Helps break up the text a little bit more. So that might help you increase your conversions a little bit more. You make a lot of claims in here as I was reading it that, you know, I'm not sure I believe. So you want to try to back it up. For example, there's here, Twitter has high conversion rates, sales on Twitter have high conversion rates. You know, I haven't found that in my experience. So it's, you know, if you had some data to back that up or reports you could link to, you're saying, you know, email marketing didn't die, it's actually as profitable as ever. Again, you want to make sure you can back up those claims with the link to an article or research that you've done to show people that you really know what you're talking about. You know, a 17-year-old blogger who's built a strong reputation through guest blogging, making $5,000 a month. Who is this person? Can you show me a picture? Can you show me his blog? Again, you know, builds in a little bit more credibility because a lot of people will be making these type of claims, don't back it up, and so it doesn't give me confidence to want to give you money to, you know, move forward with whatever services you're offering. I'd love to see people that you've helped, other clients that you've done work with. If you don't have any paying clients yet, do some work for free, just build it up. Build a portfolio of people who then you can go back to and can give you testimonials and say, hey, you know, this guy really knows what he's doing and I want to hire him. I notice what's missing here as well is you don't have anything about you. So who am I hiring? Who is Online Rookies Internet Marketing? Be great to see your picture, your story, a little bit more about you and how you got started and, you know, why you're an expert and why I should hire you. Because it's a pretty simple form here and I wouldn't be encouraged to want to sign up quite yet until you've done a little bit more work. And then the last thing I would include is a really strong call to action. So what incentive are you giving people to want to contact you? Your call to action here is research is your greatest weapon. Contact us and we will give you the tools to make your internet marketing campaign shine. So, you know, you want to highlight that a little bit more and, and make it easy. So like, contact us is not a link. So how do I actually contact you? I don't see an email, really anywhere here on this page. So, you know, if I want to sign up with you, how do I actually do it? How do I contact you? So that should be really obvious. Make it a big button. Give people options to contact you, especially by email. And hopefully that will help increase some of your conversions on this. So, Kaylin, I hope that helps. Give you some advice there, some tips you can use to make this letter better. Keep us posted, and if you have a new version of it, it would be great to see the changes that you've made, and it would be cool to see if you've been able to increase your conversions because of some of those changes. For everybody watching the video, if you guys liked it, please give it a thumbs up. We'll make more just like it. And I'd also love to hear your thoughts and feedback if you want to leave a comment below the video. And stay tuned for the next episode.
