The SECRET to Staying Consistent When Life Gets Hard

So let's start with this. Purpose is not passion. They're related, but they're not the same thing. Passion is also not that hard to figure out. Neither is purpose. People just have not been given the right tools. So let's simplify it for you today. And if you're someone who's struggling to figure out what your purpose and your passion are, this video is going to be insanely helpful for you. I have a who, why, how process. Who is your most important core value? We're not going to dive into that in this video, but the next two are your why and your how. Your why is your purpose and your how is your passion. So let's start with purpose. Your purpose is your why. Your purpose comes from your pain. Your purpose is whatever the thing you struggled with the most in life. Think back to the most painful moment in your life. What was it? What was happening? What was around you? What was that moment? For positive entrepreneur optimistic people, this actually might be a challenge. For me, it was a challenge because I don't wanna think about the bad past. I don't wanna think about what happened to me. I'm focused on what I'm doing now and going forward, not rearview mirror stuff. What happened back then doesn't matter, except it does, because the thing that will fill you up the most is helping people who are currently going through the thing that you struggled with the most.

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Watch a top 10 with Believe Nation.

Hey, this is Nina Carmichael, and this channel is created to help you overcome the number one challenge that is holding you back: a lack of belief in yourself. You watch these videos because you know there's something greater inside you as well. You have Michael Jordan-level talent at something. So get ready to know your why and how. Expect the hard times and trust your vision with my husband Evan Carmichael and his top 10 rules for success.

So whatever was the most painful moment in your life from when you were born until right now that you can remember, not physical pain, psychological pain, mental pain, the thing that made you feel terrible, what was that thing? Your purpose is to help other people who are feeling that right now. And so imagine who you are now and imagine who you used to be, whether that's a year ago, 5 years ago, 10 years ago. Go back to whoever that person was. Let's just say it's 5 years ago. Great. The person you are now can help the person who you were 5 years ago. You may not have all the answers. You're still on your path. You don't know everything, but you've grown. You've, you've come out of the hole. You're better than you were 5 years ago. Talk to the person you were 5 years ago. Helping that person is your purpose. You've climbed up the staircase, right? You've grown. There's still a lot more stairs to grow. You don't want the staircase to end. That staircase is your growth, is your professional and personal development for life. You want to keep climbing. And every time you take a step, what you want to do is reach down and help somebody else up. But you can only help people to the extent that you've grown. If you've taken 8 steps on the staircase, that's all you can help people up to get to step number 8. If you get to 20, you can help people more. So we want to keep growing, keep climbing those stairs, and then keep reaching back and pulling people up and giving them a hand. That's your purpose for life. You'll, you'll like serving people and helping people and and it's tied to your core value, your who, your one word. We're not talking about it much in this video, but you'll just like helping people because service is hardwired into our brain. Helping people is hardwired to your brain. It has a similar impact on your brain as food and sex. It's hardwired. You'll like it. You want to help people. You want to serve. But who you serve will be different. It'll have a different impact. I love helping people in general. But if you're an entrepreneur, that's something extra special. There's so many great causes in the world. There's so many great causes. Why this instead of this? Because you have an emotional connection to it, an emotional attachment to it. Why? Because you went through it. Because you suffered through it and you want to make sure that nobody else has to suffer as much as you suffered. Your purpose comes from your pain, period. It'll fill you up for life. Helping entrepreneurs will fill me up for the rest of my life. It will never get old. When I'm tired, when I have no energy, when I'm depleted, I will still meet with entrepreneurs because it fills me up. Your purpose comes from your pain. You have to find it. Now let's talk about passion. So your passion is your how. Your passion is the things that you're doing, how you're going to actually execute against your why, execute against your purpose. What are you doing? It's great that you believe in entrepreneurs, amazing, but what are you going to do? How are you going to go about doing it? So for me, it's making videos. For me, it's doing speaking gigs. For me, it's writing books. For me, it's helping people one-on-one. For me, it's doing events, right? That's my how. But that will evolve, that will change, right? I started doing this helping entrepreneur thing when I was 22 years old, and that started just by doing speaking. And then it became my website, and I had 100,000+ pages of content. And then I shut the thing down overnight and I focused on YouTube. And it's been a 10-year+ journey on YouTube. And maybe in 10 years that's gone and I'm doing something totally different. I don't know. The how will change a lot. What you get passionate about, or to Mel's point about energy, what you get energy about will change with time. But it has to be connected to your purpose. Just because it gives you energy, it's not going to fill you up. It's got to be connected to a deeper source, which is your purpose.

Rule number 2: Expect a hard time.

The difference between outstanding and average is what you do when it gets hard. People with an average mindset only do things when it's easy. Because it's easy. Anyone can do it. But life is coming for you. Setbacks, they're coming for you. And that's what separates the average from the outstanding. Your goals, they don't count until it's hard. So I had a new guy on my team who was writing to me to say, Evan, super important, this is urgent. I need help with my schedule. I'm just not staying consistent. I'm not staying on my goals. I know what I want to get done for you, but also for my life. And it's not— unless it's some deadline or you're on me, it's not happening. I'm not consistent on it. How do, how do I get going? How do I stay consistent? And so we worked together through the schedule and we created his calendar and said, what are your goals? And put it in your calendar. And how do you want each day to go? And he plotted out his Saturday to Sunday, you know, the whole week. And then I asked him, okay, now put in your morning routine. What do you want to do every day? Right? So he plotted that into his calendar. Now he's got this weekly schedule of what he's going to do every morning. And then Every day doing different things and how he wants his ideal life to go. Awesome. And then I told him what really mattered. Like, this is great, your actions map to your ambitions, really important, but following through on your calendar doesn't count until it's hard. Maybe today's gonna be easy for you, maybe tomorrow's easy for you because we talked, 'cause you're motivated, 'cause you're inspired. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna go do it. Awesome. What happens when you don't sleep well? What happens when something happens in your family? What happens when, the website crashes? What happens when something happens? What happens when you've lost some motivation, energy? What happens when you get some bad news? What happens? What do you do? This is where most people crumble. This is where most people, as soon as there's one little tiny thing that interrupts them, they're gone. They fall off their entire schedule and routine. Your goals suddenly don't matter anymore. You don't think they're possible. Your goals don't count until they're hard. That's what I told them. I said, listen, listen to me. This is a great plan. That life that you wrote, that's a great life. What you wrote down on your calendar, that's a great life for you. That's what you want. Imagine if you did that every day for the next year. How different would your life look like one year from today if you were consistent on staying like, oh yeah, yeah, amazing, I mean, great. Doesn't count until it's hard. None of this matters until it's hard. Life is coming for you. Get ready. And what I want him and I want you to realize is that you need to expect it. Because you're working your calendar and it's great and here we go, we're getting our, hitting our objectives and going for our goals. And then when something hits us in the face, you're surprised by it. You're shocked. And then you fall off course. Don't be surprised. Expect it. Expect the difficulty. Expect the road bump. Expect somebody to punch you in the face. Like, expect it. It's coming. And this is your chance to be outstanding because everybody else is going to be average.

Rule number 3: Trust your vision.

The reason why you don't follow through on your vision is because you don't trust it enough. It makes sense that it's going to happen, but it's not happening yet. People aren't saying yes. There's no momentum. There's no money coming in. And you start to wonder, Who am I to have this big dream? So then there's this temptation to give up and go do something else and not follow through on your vision. But you know in the back of your head, you know, you know that eventually for someone it's going to work out. You need to stay on it. You need to follow through. Otherwise someone else is going to make money off of your idea. They're going to make it happen without you. So look at what I'm trying to do here with this channel, with my YouTube content, with my mission, my purpose. I'm trying to solve the world's biggest problem. I want to spread more belief. Right? The world's biggest problem is that people don't believe in themselves enough. I think everybody is a genius. Everybody has Michael Jordan-level talent at something. They're just not living it. They're not doing it. They're not expressing it. And so they end up living a life that they don't like, knowing that they're capable of more. Like, this is the problem I am trying to solve. It's one that I'm never going to fully solve in my lifetime, and I wake up every day trying to do it. And it's easy to get up and think, well, there's so many people trying to do the same thing. There's Tony Robbins and there's all these other people. Who am I to go off and do this? And I remind myself that I may not be Tony Robbins. I may not ever have as big an impact. I may not sell as many books as Simon Sinek. I mean, I may never have that big an impact, but I was able to help some people. You know, we have 2 million subscribers across the channels. We have 300 million views across the channels. It's having an impact. It's helping people. I can get better. I need to get better. But what I'm doing is already having an impact in helping people. So I need to keep going. And that's what I find really helpful. Just reminding yourself that you matter, that the work you do matters. Even if it hit one person, it made a difference, it matters. And so you have to follow through.

Rule number 4: Be your biggest critic and fan.

You need to be your biggest critic as well as your biggest fan. People are usually their biggest critics. You point out all the flaws, you tell yourself all the reasons why you suck. I actually think that's a good thing. Being your biggest critic forces you to get better, but it's only healthy if it's paired with you also being your biggest fan. You think that you suck, but you also feel like you're amazing, like you're a gift to the world, like you're the best thing ever. You suck and you're amazing. You're the worst and you're the best. Both. I think that's a healthy balance. You have to be your biggest critic as well as your biggest fan, both at the same time. Also, to make sure you're actually taking action after watching this video, I've designed a special free worksheet just for this video. The worksheet will highlight all the lessons learned in this video, as well as pull out our 3 favorite learnings and quotes that will inspire you to actually do something. The worksheet will also give you space to write down what your key takeaways are and your specific plan of action to make sure you're getting results. If you want the worksheet designed specifically for this video, absolutely for free, There's a link in the description below. Go click on it and start building the momentum in your life and your business. I'll see you there.

Rule #5: Push yourself to the extreme.

People don't push themselves to the extreme. They just don't. It's because it's too hard. It's too crazy hard that you're not likely to do it on your own. And so I think when those opportunities come, learning to embrace them. Learning to take them on, learning to say, this is my chance to show myself and the world what I am made of. This is my chance. But is it still your limit? So let me give you a couple examples. This morning I woke up and I didn't have a lot of sleep. I went to bed at 3-something last night. I woke up at 7:20 this morning. I turned off the alarm but still woke up at 7:20. Force of habit. And I'm not on a lot of sleep and I need to make a bunch of videos for you guys and I want to bring my best and I put pressure on myself that every video needs to to be my best. I want it to be better. I want to grow. I don't want to just do the same thing over and over and over again, but it's a challenge. And so it's easy to say, oh, I'm so tired, I don't have energy, I wish I slept more, or an excuse after excuse. But no, I'm gonna go do it. And here I am, and I've made I don't know how many videos already today. I'm closing in on finishing up, and I still have energy, and I'm pumped for how it went. And, and the story I'm telling myself is I'm awesome. Like, I had very little sleep. It's not how I wanna be living every day, but when that happens, what do you do? How do you stand up? How do you show yourself what you're made of? But even that is not the biggest extreme. You know, like I feel like I'm capable of way more. My tour was the most that I'd ever pushed myself, not just mentally, not just facing fears, but physically, physically pushing myself where I broke my neck in two spots. I had a concussion. I've never had a concussion before. It was wild. Don't wish it on anybody if you haven't experienced it yet. I had 3 staples in my head. I compressed my spine. It was brutal. And I had to cancel my event in Denver where I was because it was that night. And then the next one was going to be in Kansas City. This is what I wore for, for 60 days. I wore these and I took them off for 10 minutes a day. 60 days, right? Like, this is what I made it. This is what I'm capable of. I'm complaining about having 4 hours sleep? I did— I had my neck broken and continued on my tour across the US for 30 more days and another 30 days here in Toronto, seeing entrepreneurs sitting in pain at the front of the room with ice packs and pillows and not quitting and going home even though I was in massive pain. Like, this is who I am, and I'm complaining about not having sleep the night before, right? Like, perspective. The greatest point on the tour for me was in Kansas City. It was my next stop. We refunded everybody the money because I wasn't going to be able to go for 3 hours. But I said, hey, we already booked this hotel venue, you guys already booked your night off, why don't you just come out anyway? Just come on out and I'll go for an hour and take pictures and say hi and just show some Kansas City love. And I showed up and we went for an hour and a half, and then my wife pulled me off because my lips were starting to get dry, because I wasn't being able to, you know, answer questions as clearly as I'd like because I was still suffering from the concussion. You know, the neck pain is one thing, that's just sitting still, I can't do anything about it. But the concussion, you're not supposed to think, you're not supposed to have conversations, it makes recovery worse. And so she was watching me like a hawk the whole night. She's watching me. And then she sees me start to fade. She's like, okay, that's it. I gotta take Evan home. Quick pictures and we gotta go. I've never been pulled off a stage before. Never for like for sucking or definitely for a physical issue. Never, never, never. It's never happened. This was me at my physical limit. That was it. I was done. I had actually nothing left. Like, somebody had to come and say, you are done. The best, right? I mean, it sucked, but at the same time, it's like, man, this is it. I actually got to the edge. I got to the physical limitation. I can't go anymore. I'm being told I need to step down. And there's something so amazing that you feel about yourself that you were able to go that far. Now, you don't want to do that every day. You want to take care of your health, of course, of course, of course. Don't, don't do stupid things. And at the same time, the pride, the feeling of awesomeness that you hit that mark, I can't explain. So I started telling the people around me, my wife, my agent, the people on the tour, that we're planning a 2020 tour, and it's not going to be as good. This will be great. We're going to hit 23 cities, 90 days, East Coast, Texas, Mexico, you know, Montreal. It's going to be fun, but it won't be as good because I'm not going to break my neck, right? I'm not going to hit— I'm not going to forcefully go break my neck just because, right? Just— that's, that, that's stupid. Don't do that. Don't, don't, don't go do that just because. And so I'm not going to face the same challenge And so the point is, I'll still have a great time, it'll still be amazing, but what we went through, what I had to go through in 2019, this year is foundational. Like, I'm gonna remember this forever. This is who I am. This, this, this is who I am. Not the guy who thinks that 4 hours sleep and making some videos is a big deal. Right? It just resets who you are and reminds you, if you step up to the challenge, of what you're capable of.

Rule number 6: Ignore the bad advice.

The people who are telling you that your idea won't work are not the people whose life that you want. So why are you listening to them? Your Uncle Joe, your Aunt Susan, the rest of your family, the people who you grew up with from high school— look at their life. Look at their life right now. Take away their words and what they're telling you. Remove the emotion from it. Look at their life. Do you want a life like theirs? Because their advice will lead to a life like theirs. If not, then you probably should be doing the exact opposite of what they're telling you to do. Now, I think there's two types of people who will give you negative feedback. You got the haters and then you got the people who are just ignorant. And there's a big difference between those two. So let's start with the haters. The haters, I call the little man, the haters. Their entire role in their life is to bring other people down. Maybe they took their shot. This is actually quite frequent. They took their shot, they tried, they didn't work, they failed, and so now nobody around them can be successful. They get their value, they get their self-love by destroying other people because it makes them feel better about themselves. It's like watching some train wreck on reality TV show, right? Watching relationships and lives fall apart. Because it makes you feel better about your life. You feel better about your life when you see somebody else's life be a total mess, right? Those are the haters. Now, how do you deal with them? It starts by understanding that if you believe, like I believe, that humans are built to serve, right? People are built to serve. You want to do good. People are good, right? Both of those things— humans are good and we're built to serve. Then what would get somebody who is good and built to serve to leave a nasty negative comment or to tell you that you suck or you're your deal's not gonna work out. What would drive them to do it? They really hate their life, right? Like, empathy is the first step. Just feeling bad for them, not sympathy and using that as a negative against them, not saying, well, your life sucks, so I'm not gonna— that's not gonna help anything. It's actual genuine empathy. If the highlight of somebody's day is coming to this video and leaving a negative comment, It's okay. I feel bad for that person. If that's the highlight of your day, then you must be in a really rough spot if you believe that people are good and they're built to serve. And so what that does is remove the sting out of the comment. When somebody is raging on you that you suck and that your idea is never going to work, having empathy to understand, wow, this person is likely in a really tough spot, that removes the sting of the words and allows you to then be more practical, less emotional. To respond emotionally and feel like, oh my God, maybe they're right, maybe they have a point, maybe I do suck. Say, wait, wait a minute, wait a minute. This person, they hate their life. Why am I listening to them? Right? Just like the wake-up call out of the head game that you're in. Listen to their advice. So those are the haters. Remove the sting and it'll allow you to make a practical decision. The second part are the people who are ignorant. They're your friends, your family, the people around you who— they actually love you, right? Chances are your parents love you. Your mom probably loves you, right? Most moms love their kids. Your parents probably love you. So why would they be telling you not to go do something? Why would they be telling you advice against what you want to hear? Because they grew up in a different era. Your parents are pilgrims. Your parents don't understand the world that exists. Your parents don't understand that you can have a full-time business from this. It doesn't make sense. When your parents were your age, they couldn't do the things that you can do. So they want you to be successful. The people around you who love you want you to be successful. They have a different definition of success. Success to them looks different than it does for you because they're from a different era, and that's okay. Again, starting point is empathy. Understand that these words that are coming out of their mouth is love. They're trying to express love. They're concerned for you. They want you to win. They just have a different version of what winning looks like.

Rule number 7: Do what you love.

Burnout is real, but I think most burnout happens because people are not doing the thing that they actually love doing. It's not just about being busy and keeping your mind occupied all day. You can be busy and hate your life and get burnt out. If I was an accountant I would hate my life and burn out in a day because I don't like being an accountant. But doing this thing that I love, I put in way more effort, way more work, and I love it. It's been 10+ years of still having my YouTube channel, and I'm not burnt out. If anything, I'm pushing harder than ever before because I love it. And so I think it's not just about being busy, it's about being busy on the thing that is your mission for life. Now, compassion fatigue is a thing. Doing it so much that you burn out yourself is possible, but again, that is not why most people are burning out. Most people, I believe, are burning out because they're spending too much time, too much energy, too much effort doing things that they hate. And if you wake up and hate your life and hate the job you're about to go to, then there's no wonder why you feel like you're burning out. So I recently came back from going to Tony Robbins' event in Dallas. He invited me to sit in the front row and I'm super blessed and grateful to have Tony's support. And I went there with Alex, friend of the channel who helps me run Toronto Dance Salsa. And we were on a super crunch timeline because Alex was teaching classes the evening before we left and then the day of the last event. And we rushed down there. Alex was flying in just to get to the event. He's late on the first day. We're rushing to leave on the last day. And it's nonstop. If you've been to a Tony Robbins event, It's all day, all night. It's 8 in the morning to midnight and then up again the next day and doing the same thing. And it's wild and it's fun, it's amazing. And my favorite thing to do whenever I travel is actually meet Believe Nation, meet you guys. And so all through the event I wear my Believe hoodie and I'm not wearing Grant stuff, I'm wearing Evan Carmichael stuff with the plane and the Believe on the back and people are stopping me. And that's actually the best. It doesn't take away from my experience. Tony's often on stage at the top at the beginning of every event saying, hey, I have some friends of mine, you might know them, they might be celebrities, leave them alone, don't talk to them, let them have their own experience. And it always makes me sad when he says that because for me, meeting you guys, meeting people who recognize me, and that's a group that I over-index because people who watch Tony videos, you know, they're probably going to find my content. I like it. I like it more when people come and say hi. It adds to the experience for me. And then on the last day before we rushed out to go to the airport, I set up a meetup, right? I had an hour open before having to get to the airport. So let's do a meetup. Let's do a local Dallas Richardson, Texas meetup, right? And, and it could have spent the time doing something else or sleeping in or writing my book or doing anything else, but it's not burnout for me. Like, that fuels me. That gives me more energy. I love it, hanging out with Believe Nation gives me more energy than it takes away. And I then took an Uber to get to my— to the airport, and the guy who drove the Uber was actually in the meetup in Richardson. He's like, I gotta leave early because I gotta start my job. Okay, great. And then I book an Uber and there he is. Total fluke, but amazing. And so it's a lot of work, you know. I was all day, all night, not connecting with my team, not doing the things that I'm supposed to be doing. And then I still make time to be with people and, and make a 1-hour meetup because that hour was open, and it fuels me. But if it was something that I hated, just that half an hour, just 15 minutes, I'd start to feel like I'm burning out, like I don't want to be here, but this is terrible. And so I think it's really important that you're doing work that you love that would be a burnout for other people but not a burnout for you because you I love it so much.

Rule number 8: Don't have any regrets.

You rarely regret the things that you do. It's what you don't do that you regret the most. It's all the missed opportunities, the times you wanted to say yes but were afraid, the moments that you wanted to bet on yourself but you were scared. Those moments, that's what you want to minimize, because it's way better to know and to fail than to never know at all.

Rule number 9: Do difficult things.

Self-confidence comes from doing difficult things, from trying, failing, getting back up, and trying again a different way. Your goals don't count until they're hard. You won't make yourself proud unless it's hard, and it's time to start making yourself proud of your effort. So I'm in the process of writing a new book, and I sent the book out to 30 of my friends and friends of friends to get their feedback. And I'm on a crazy deadline with the publisher. I got it here. This is the copy. This is what I gave out to 30 different people, and they gave me all the books back on the same day. And then what I had to do was go through each copy and underline. I underlined— can you see? Kind of blurry. I underlined anytime they underlined, I underlined, because I wanted to see what they cared about, as well as catching typos, everything else. And I looked at that pile of books. I had 30 books I had to get through in one day. I had to basically read my own book 30 different times, make one master copy, underline it the whole day. And, and it stressed me out. I looked at that stack of books and said, how am I going to get through all this stuff? And I just started taking action. I just started doing it. And here's the thing, halfway through I started getting massive pain. My neck was, was really hurting me. My back was really hurting me. Me. My neck, mostly because I broke my neck in March and I'm still healing and recovering from it. And I had to spend the whole time— I had to spend the whole time like this, right? I got the books here on the table, I'm flipping through it and I'm doing this, and it takes a toll the whole day doing it like this. So a couple hours in, I'm having massive neck pain. It's the best, right? Like, I gotta get through it. This is the time. It doesn't count until it's hard. I don't want to be doing this every single day, right? If that's every day, you need to change your life, you need to change your habits. But in those rare moments when you get the chance to push yourself, either physically, mentally, or just courage because you're afraid of doing something, that's your chance. That's your chance to show yourself what you're made of.

And rule number 10, a very last one before the bonus clip, is serve.

Humans are built to serve, period. Serving others is hardwired into our brain. It triggers the same area of your brain as food and sex. If you're not happy, it's because you're not serving. Either serving the world on this big mission that you have or serving the 25 closest people to you. If you're not happy, it's because you're not serving. So one of the hacks that I do in my life to get me to do the things that I'm afraid of or don't want to do is through service. If I can connect any of my actions, like making videos, I don't necessarily like just sitting here talking to a camera, but I connect it to service. That I'm making this video, people are going to watch it, hopefully get inspired enough to take some kind of action, and it's meaningful to their life or business. That makes me feel good. That's service. As soon as I can connect the action to service, I am all in. And that's the way to hack me. You want something from me, whether it's my wife or my team or general public, if it makes me feel like this will serve other people and it would have a big impact, then it's much easier for me to get a yes. It's easy for me to say, "I am in." My philosophy on losing is you either win or you learn. You win, you got your goal. Hey, hey, congratulations, pat yourself on the back. Or you learn. You learn how not to do it again. Hopefully you've improved and you've gotten better. It's only a loss if you quit. It's only a loss if you never get back up. It's only a loss if you stop trying. Somebody asked me, on my Instagram yesterday, I love this business that I'm doing, but it's just not working out. What do I do? And my answer is, hey, if you still love it, you have to keep going. You have to keep trying. You have to keep getting up. You have to keep not just doing the same thing you've been doing. You have to keep looking, exploring, trying new ways. You have to, have to, have to, have to keep going. Because if you stop now, if you love the thing and you stop now, you will regret that decision for the rest of your life. How many times have you quit on something that you love and then you look back, you say, I wish I— what if I just kept going? What if I just tried one more day? What if I just tried one more week? What if I just kept going? Because I would have been in a different spot and now I regret not trying. If you don't love it, great, quit. I mean, I think people stay in things for too long as well. People stay in businesses for too long. People stay in relationships for too long out of fear, out of insecurity. The love was gone a long time ago and you should have left a long time ago, but you're too afraid to do it. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about what you love doing and it hasn't worked out yet. You have to keep going. When I was in my first business, that this is the thing that really helped me. I was 19 years old. I wanted to quit on my business. I was struggling. I was making no money, $300 a month. I owned 30% of a company that was not making any money. And I was working every day and I just had enough. I had enough. I was fed up. Like, how much further can I go? How much longer can I go and just not see money and not see results? And I felt like I was a pretty happy, optimistic, positive guy, but it just Every day it just beat me down a little bit more, a little bit more, a little bit more. And I was too embarrassed and ashamed to tell people, so I was all by myself and I quit on my business partner. It was the worst day of my life. And the thing that kept me going was the fear of regret, that this is not a loss unless I quit. This is not really a loss unless I actually throw in the towel and go do something else because I still wanted it to work. In my heart of hearts, I still love this thing. I wanted to do something with it. It just— I was quitting because I wasn't getting the results yet. And what I told myself, 19, almost 20, was when, when I'm an old man at 40, you know, I'm 40, how old am I now? I'm 41 right now. So that's funny thinking about it. But when I'm an old man at 40 and my life is over and I hate my life and it's it and I'm falling apart. I will regret this. I will regret that I quit. And that feeling gave me the courage to go one more day, to say, I, I can't quit yet. This is not— I have not given it everything that I've got. I have not left it all out on the field, right? There's still more in me to give, to serve, to help. There's more effort But what it did was forced me to start to think differently because I couldn't keep going the way I was going because what I was doing obviously was not working. Every idea that I tried was not working. I needed to think of something radically different. And that's where the idea of modeling success came in for me. It was finally out of desperation, not out of inspiration, not out of mentorship, not out of anything else, not out of genius, wasn't that smart. It was out of desperation that I asked myself, who else has built a software company before? I cannot be the first guy to have tried to do this. There's no way. Somebody has figured this out. Like, who's done this? And by modeling Bill Gates and how he started Microsoft, that started the path for my company to start to have success. In a short amount of time, I closed my first deal. It was $13,500. I felt like I was rich on top of the the world, and it gave me momentum, it gave me hope, and it also gave me a strategy that I could keep using. So if you have lost recently, there's two key ways that you need to get out of it, okay? The first is emotional, and then the second is strategy, logical. The emotional part is you feel hurt, you feel scared, you feel hopeless, you feel insecure, you feel like it This will never work. It may never work. All these people may be relying on you. Hopefully nobody saw you fail. We're just afraid of this judgment and disappointing people. You feel like you're not valuable. You feel like you're wasting your time. And so the way to get through the emotional pain is one, to focus on regret, that if you love this thing, and you quit now, you will regret this. Whether it's 10 years in the future, 20 years in the future, 30 years in the future, you don't want to think back like, I had that shot back then, I had that shot and I didn't take it and I quit too soon. Like, don't let that be you. Fear of regret. And the second is service, that you're not doing this just for you, that there's people who are struggling and they need your help, they need your support. There's people who will be counting on you, that your story can inspire other people as well. And so sometimes you need the, the hug, which is service, and sometimes you need the push, which is regret, depending on where you're at, what you're feeling. But when you lose, there are lots of logical, strategic, practical ways to get out. But if you don't solve the emotional issue first, you'll stay stuck. So it's the emotional issue you have to deal with first, that just because you lost doesn't mean that you are a loser as a human, right? Just because your business hasn't worked out yet doesn't mean that you as a person have no self-worth. Your business might not have any worth yet, but it doesn't mean that you have no worth. And that's, that's something that took me a long time to be able to separate out, that you are not your business. You are amazing. You are gifted. You are talented. You are loved. You want to contribute. You want to serve. And then you bring that to your business, not that you are your business. Once you solve the emotional side, then you can work to the practical side. Then you can think about, okay, how do I, how do I solve this problem? How do I break out of this rut that I'm facing? And one of my favorite ways now is modeling success, right? Find the person who's done the thing. That's why I make so many videos. That's why I profile so many different entrepreneurs and athletes and coaches and experts, because maybe the way Oprah Winfrey says it, or Tim Grover says it, or Steve Jobs says it, or whoever, maybe the way they say it finally starts to land, finally starts to seep in to give you the idea that you need to then explode your business forward. You first start with the emotional side and solve that, that you are here to serve, you are valuable, and that you will regret quitting on this best thing if you quit too soon. And then you can move to tactics and strategies, just like I did with my business. I quit. I quit on my partner and said, I'm done. I need to feel valuable as a human. And realized the next day, I leaned in more on the regret. I do not want to live with regret and be an old man at 40 and look back and say, this was my moment. And then that led to the strategy, the practical side to say, okay, but I can't keep going how I'm going. How do I solve this problem? Okay modeling success. It's only a loss if you quit. It's only a loss if you stay down. It's only a loss if you tell yourself that you suck and that will— it will never work out. You either win or you learn. The choice is yours to get back up, to learn the lessons that you learned, and to take another shot. Because your goals matter. Because your dreams matter. Because the thing that you've got inside your heart right here can have a huge impact on the world, and we need to get the message out. Be the change you want to see in the world. One of my favorite quotes, Mahatma Gandhi. If you're not happy with something, you're not happy with a situation, you fix it. That's why entrepreneurs are going to solve all the problems. As much as there's government and big business, I think it's entrepreneurs entrepreneurs, it's us. We're going to solve all the world's problems because we see a problem and we want to fix it. We want to solve it. That's what we do. That's the most exciting part of being an entrepreneur is that you're not waking up and driving to some job that you hate where the work you're doing does not matter, has no meaning. And instead, you get to do something that is actually going to touch somebody's life and that is meaningful to you, right? You get to pick, you get to decide, you get to choose. And we're trying to make the world a better place. We're going to make money doing it, too. But mission first, purpose first, and then making money along the way in service of others. And it's in that combination of what you love doing with what brings value to other people that you have a successful business. Part of that then becomes being a leader as well. And I think a lot of entrepreneurs struggle with being a leader because at the beginning we are just managing ourselves, and that's hard enough, right? It's like, have you had a hard time managing yourself? Have you had a hard time sticking to your routines and keeping to your motivation and staying strong in the things that you say you're going to do? Like, self-management, self-leadership is hard enough. Now we're going to go off and lead other people as well? And where do we learn about leadership? We don't go to school for this. We don't have programs. We don't probably have great mentors to help us. If you had jobs in the past, or maybe you had a job right now, you probably don't have the greatest leaders around you. Most people suck at it, but it doesn't have to be extremely difficult. And it took me a long time to get used to it and get better at it, and I'm still learning and improving. We've got almost 40 people on the team now, and when people ask me what's my definition, my definition of leadership, it's I want people to win more than I want them to win with me. And so the key becomes wanting the humans that are on your team to win as humans more than you want them to win with you. That you can have this little disconnection. Obviously they have to do the work if they're going to work with you, but sometimes the best thing for them to do is to move on. Not because they're not doing their job, but because it's the best thing for them. And so when I connect with the people on my team, it's always trying to figure figure out where do they want to go, what do they want to learn, what do they want to improve on. And I see everybody as running parallel paths with me. So the people around you, the people— even us right now, what we're doing right now, this is a parallel path. You've decided to watch this video, I decided to record this video, and we're sharing this moment in time. And maybe you never watch another Evan Carmichael video again, maybe you end up watching all my videos and we end up being partners on some future business. Who knows? You know, maybe I'm seeing you every day in the future. But as of right now, we're on this parallel path together. And when somebody's with you walking down that parallel path, the goal of a great leader, I think, should be to try to make that person leave better than how they came in, right? Have you ever heard the expression, or or maybe it's just something my grandfather used to tell me about, you know, when you go to a hotel or you go to a new city or you go to a new event, to always try to leave the place better than when you came. You know, and hopefully that's our goal for life. You know, in this life we try to leave the world a little better than how it was when we came in. And so if you take that approach to leadership, that when you're with the people on your team, and maybe it's for a week, on some really short internship, maybe it's for a year, maybe it's for 5 years, 10 years, maybe it's their entire life with you, that they have left a little bit better than when they came in because they got to hang around you. And not taking it as an ego play, like, I'm gonna make this person's life better because I am so amazing. It's more out of care, genuine care for the people on your team. And I I think when we're first hiring, we suck at it. Most entrepreneurs suck at hiring. Most entrepreneurs, their first employee is not with them, you know, a year, 2 years, 3 years later because they hired the wrong person, they have no idea how to manage that person. It's not that that person sucks, it's more that, you know, you don't have the skill set, we don't have the skill sets at the beginning to know how to even find the right person, let alone manage them. That's a skill that we have to develop. But I think it just starts with genuinely caring about the people on your team. That yes, they have to get the work done, right? There's a job that has to get done. But how we often think about it is more from a selfish perspective as I need to get this stuff off my plate, right? You're overloaded with work, right? Who's over— are you overloaded with work? We're overloaded with work, so I've got to hire somebody. To take this off my plate so I don't have to deal with that ever again, and it frees up my time to go and do other stuff. Right? Sound familiar? Listen, at the beginning when you bring on a team, it takes more time. It takes more time than it frees up because you have to train them, you have to listen to them, you have to care for them, you have to answer their questions. If you treat them like a robot or a monkey, they're not going to stick with you. You're going to constantly be hiring and firing and hiring, firing, you're gonna be massively frustrated and overwhelmed. A lot of entrepreneurs get stuck in that cycle where— has this happened to you? You hire somebody, it looks great on paper, you're so excited for it to go, and then it doesn't work out a couple months later. Then you decide that, you know what, I'm just gonna do it all myself. I know I can get it done, I'm just gonna do it all myself. Has that happened to you? That is not the path to building a movement. You know, you can have a great little solo business for yourself, but that's not how you change the world. That's not how you realize your potential. It's not how you have the impact that you know you're capable of having. You know, you have to have people around you if you've got a big mission. If you don't have a big mission, it's just, it's just you, cool, go for it. But if you've got a big mission, then it needs to be team, and that becomes a skill set that you have to pick up and learn. And so leadership for me is again caring about people as humans more than caring about them winning with you. It's about discovering what they want to learn and grow and improve at, and you being a vehicle to help them do that. And it's surprising how often you can find things that support them and support you. Not all the time. I remember having one guy on my team who who his dream was to be a baker. Like, well, I don't have an interest in opening up a bake shop, right? But ultimately, you should leave us and go do your passion, because I can't help you inside of this job until I open a bake shop that can really support you in what you want to do. And so even though he wanted to stay, he was staying more more out of fear and insecurity than actually doing something he was deeply passionate about. So I gave him till the end of the year. If it was, you know, summer, give him to the end of the year to— okay, you're— as of the end of the year, you, you're out and you have to go find a job. I love you, but you have to go find something that is in line with your dream, because you staying here is, is safe and is actually squashing your dreams. You have to go do your thing. And so, you know, he had to go and move on. I was appreciative for it and giving him time, not like, okay, you're fired next week. And then you have other people though, and usually you can find something inside of what they care about. So the, the amount of people who I've met on my team who then they want to learn graphic design, or they want to learn Photoshop, or they want to learn copywriting, or they want to learn how to come up with good titles, or they want to learn better communication skills, or they want to learn— they have their lists of like the things that they want to learn. It's like, cool, as long as there's something that we've got that can help you with that, some kind of program, some project, something that can also bring value to the company, then let's do it. Because when people are working on the things that they feel like they're growing in and they're learning in, they're gonna— it's just a good thing to do because it's from the heart, you know? And when they feel connected to your heart, everybody's happier and more productive. But it's also just good business strategy. If you want to just put your XO business strategy hat on, it's great. This is how karma becomes practical. If somebody's engaged and they feel like they're learning and they're growing and they're improving, you're gonna get the best of them versus if they feel bored and stuck and learning nothing new, right? That's what most people do in their jobs. And honestly, the bar for leadership is so low. It's so low. Most people wake up and drive to that job that they hate. So all you have to do, to be honest, to be their best boss is probably just to not be a bad boss. You don't have to be a great boss. You just have to not be a bad boss. You just have to treat somebody like a normal human being and actually have a little bit of care and compassion and curiosity to see them win in life. You do that, you're already probably their best boss of all time. I think that's a pretty low standard, but it's a great starting point to then be able to say, hey, no, I want this person to have come out of my organization, whether that's in a month or a year or 10 years from now, a better human because they were with us. And it's totally possible. It's just a mindset shift that these people are on your team because they have something to prove as well, and they want to learn. And it's not just about you saving your time and dumping stuff off of your plate and giving it to somebody else so it can be all delegate it away. It's that you are a leader and you care about people and you want to see them win, and you're responsible for making sure that they get pushed outside their comfort zone. You got a big mission inside you. It's a huge mission, and you can't do this alone. You may not have the skills yet to be the leader that you want to be. Maybe not yet, but you've got a big heart. And honestly, that's the biggest skill that you ever need. You're not afraid of failing. You're afraid of failing in front of other people. You will sing in the shower, but you won't sing on the street corner. Why? Because of the other people. Because they may see you, because they may laugh at you, because they may say, look at that person, they're so dumb, right? You're not afraid of failing, not just by yourself. You're afraid of failing and who is going to watch. And so that becomes really important because it now means you're living your life based off of other people's expectations and judgments. And maybe that's people in your own family. Maybe that's people you know, maybe that's your mom, or maybe that's random people. You're afraid of the judgment of unknown YouTube commenters leaving some kind of feedback on your video telling you how much you suck. Right? We're afraid of the people that we care deeply about and their perspective and opinions on us. And we're also afraid of the, the people who we don't know yet, who are just out there in the world, on the internet, who might come and leave negativity on whatever you're going to be creating. So you're not actually afraid of failing. You'll do it all the time. But it's failing and who is going to see us fail. And so there's a lot to unpack inside of that. Let's start with What is your big goal? What do you want to accomplish? What mission are you on? Who are you trying to serve? Who are you trying to help? And in order for you to go off and accomplish those things and serve to your highest capability, you're going to have to do things that will be scary, where you're going to risk failure, right? If you are never risking any kind of failure, then you're living your life so small and so safe that you don't like your life. If there's nothing in your calendar in the next month that you are excited by, that your heart's getting— you're, you're scared, right? You're nervous, right? You're like, oh my gosh, that thing's happening. If there's nothing in your calendar that's like that, you don't like your life. That, that's honestly most people. You're just photocopying your same life over and over and over and over and over again. That's what most people wake up and do. I'm sitting here in the Costco parking lot, right? Like most Most people, you just wake up and you're photocopying the same day you had yesterday and last week and last year. That's not a life. So you have to be willing to risk some kind of failure, which would potentially risk how other people see you and judge you. I used to not be able to record videos like this. The first video I ever recorded in public was— I was walking down the street at my old house, and I was challenged by my agent. He said, you have to record videos in public. Like, Steve, make videos in public? Are you crazy? I can barely make videos at home. I'm going to now make them in public? He's like, you have to do it. Like, okay, great. So I'm walking down the street carrying my big video camera at the time, and I made sure I picked a really quiet section of the street where nobody was usually outside. Because it made me feel like I was recording the video and doing the task, but there was nobody around, so I wasn't really doing the task. And I remember there was a male, male, uh, mailwoman who was dropping off mail, and as soon as I saw her and I felt like I was in auditory range of her, then I pulled the camera down, and then as I passed her, I started filming again. It's like, I did the assignment, Steve. Look, I filmed outside. I didn't really do the assignment. Why? Because I'm afraid of a male woman's opinion of me. Like, she doesn't even care about me. She's living her life, doing her thing. And so something like this, now I'm sitting here in a parking lot filming and people are walking by and some people are watching like, what's this guy doing? You just keep going. You just keep making because Fear of other people's judgments cannot be a good enough reason for you to play small. Not anymore. And if you want to do great things, most of the people judging you don't like their own lives, and any judgment they have of you is just a reflection of self. So there's a couple of hacks that I've used to be able to get through it that might serve you. Number one is studying successful people, and anytime time you study successful people, you find out that they failed along the way to their success. A lot of times you may just see on the surface just their accomplishments and list of what they've done and all that, and it can feel imposing, you know, how are they so perfect and I suck and I have all these fears and insecurities. But if you look deeper into their story and maybe watch some of their interviews or videos, you'll see that they struggled a lot and they had multiple failures on their path success. And I used to— before my channel came out, I used to read, um, stories of different famous entrepreneurs and how they got started. And, you know, the kind of zero to one story, because it made me feel like it was possible. That looking at Warren Buffett now is crazy, you know, it's like he's done so much you can't relate. But how did he go from zero to one? And what did he struggle with and where did he fail. That was inspiring to say, hey, okay, if he could get through that, now me, decades later, with a lot more opportunity and technology and resources, and I could do that. You know, I could do something similar. So that inspired me to, to get out of my cocoon and to be around people who are doing amazing things inspired me to want to go off and do more. It's also why I make videos like this. So that you can learn from Warren Buffett and all the people that we profile. And because I think the more that you're around that, the more you'll win. I don't know Warren Buffett personally. You probably don't. Maybe you do. Maybe you can text him and ask for advice. I can't, not yet. But I can watch his videos and I can learn from him and I can get better and I can improve myself by being around him. And the more that I watch his videos, the more I can think like him, just a little but in— and that's important because that shifts you forward. So being around more successful people will shift you towards success, even if they are virtual, through, through a computer screen, through videos, podcasts, books, etc. The second thing is teaching myself that I do difficult things, and I think that's really important because we've accepted fear as a good enough reason for you not to do the thing. You've accepted other people's opinions as a good enough reason for you not to do the thing. Uh, my trigger words— I call them play bigger triggers— you come up with the triggers that will, uh, allow you to play bigger. So if I say scary, difficult, or hard, then I go off and do it because I want to be the person who does the things that are scary, difficult, or hard to myself. And that's why I still I still make videos. That's why I'll write books and speak on stage. I find all of those things incredibly scary, difficult, and hard. So what is it for you? And when you can stop accepting scary, difficult, or hard as a good enough reason— like, I want to do it but I'm scared— okay, well, that's not a good enough reason. You've already set— you've pre-decided that that's not a good enough reason, so you have to go off and do the thing. So scary, difficult, hard— you say it, you write it, you think it, you tell somebody else that as long as that is the reason for you to put the brakes on your life, it's not a good enough reason anymore. There has to be something stronger than scary, difficult, or hard. Otherwise, you have to go and take action, and you start to teach yourself that you are the kind of person who takes on things that are scary, difficult, or hard. So number 1 was being around successful people and, and study them and learn from them and get mentorship from them, even if it's just through a video. Number 2 is that you do difficult things. And then number 3 is focus on service. And if you understand that the thing that you're afraid to do is not just for you, it's for other people, right? If you're an entrepreneur, you're trying to create a business, it's not just for you. There's— sure, there's selfish goals of I want to, I want to make money and provide for my family and live a great life, etc., but above that needs to be service and helping others, that you're creating something that's going to bring value to other people, that it's not just about you making money, but you're providing a real service, something really valuable to other people that's gonna make their life better. If I'm making videos, it's not just about me and numbers on the channel. It's about, it's about you. And hopefully for, for one of you watching this video, it has a big impact today. When I speak on stage or write the books, it's not about me. It's about who I can help serve. And whenever you can deeply connect to who you can help serve, at least for me, it gives me the courage to go off and do the thing. If I'm terrified to speak on stage, I'll often look behind the curtain at the audience and I'll try to find a couple people. It's like, I'm doing it for that person, I'm doing it for him, doing it for her. I've got a message that I can share that can help them, and that gives me the confidence and the courage to go do the thing because we'll show up for other people more than we'll show up for ourselves. And so when you can tie what you're doing to other people, to value, to service, to helping them, it'll give you more confidence and courage to go off and do the thing that you need to do. And so I call that the push and the hug. So the I do difficult things, I do scary things is the push. Like, get out, get out there and do this, Carmichael. Let's go. And the service is the hug. Like, hey, I'm not, I'm not doing this just for me. I'm doing for, for all the people out there as well. And some days you need more of the hug, some days you need more of the push, and you just lean in on what you feel you need most. You know, there are some days when pushing yourself harder is not the answer, you need a hug. And there are some days where hugging yourself more is not the answer, you need the push. And so having the self-awareness to know, okay, I need the push right now, or I need the hug right now, and then going off and doing that will give you the momentum that that you need. Failure, failure is going to happen. And the biggest failure again is the, the fear of other people seeing you fail. And as long as you live your life by the expectations of other people, you will live small forever. And if you can flip it to say, I'm doing this to help others, I'm doing this because I want to live a great life, and I'm doing this because I do difficult things When you can make that shift happen, you start to accomplish your goals. What stops us from chasing our obsession is the judgment that it's wrong. We feel that it's wrong to pour so much time and energy and effort into something, especially if it's not working out and paying dividends and results. It's, yes, the people around us telling us that, "What are you doing? That's crazy. Stop doing it." But it's also us. It's our own voice in our own head saying, "Can I do this? Am I wasting my time? Is this thing even worth doing?" And then what ends up happening is you regret not taking the action, right? We don't regret the things that we do often. It's usually the things that we don't do, the actions untucked, the goals that you had that you were too afraid to do something on, and that obsession that we felt was wrong. Think of this in my life. I used to judge myself a lot on this, and I would get obsessed. Like, one of the things that I think now is a core strength of mine is I get obsessed on something, then it has to happen. I was at an event, and, uh, it was a YouTube event, and there was a really, really big famous guy, runs a bunch of events, pretty well known. And I was on him for, you had to start a YouTube channel, dude, you got to start a YouTube channel. And I was just on him, on him, on him, on him. Fast forward to today, is about 3 years ago, he's got a YouTube channel, he's got 6 figures in subscribers, um, and he's on my mind because I was texting him some thumbnail ideas this morning. And I just, I was on him. I couldn't let it go. Like, this has to happen. You need to do this. And it just felt right. And that energy and that conviction is one of the things that helped move the needle. And you've got ideas and energy and great things in you and products you want to create and services you want to launch and people that you want to serve and help. And trust it and listen to it. The, the thing that's in your heart that is this little— it's a, it's a, it's a muscle to develop the courage to follow the obsession. Because a lot of our brain takes over and tells us to be safe and be practical and do the smart thing and make sure that you're paying your bills and all of that. And yes, of course you have to learn how to pay your bills, but where are we taught the courage muscle? Where are we taught the obsession muscle? Where are we taught to, to— you've got this dream that is noble and worthy. Where are we taught to actually follow through on it and at least do something about it? So over the years— it's taken me a long time, and, and the goal with this video is to try to help it not take as long for you. Over the years, I used to judge myself for wanting something and just thinking about it constantly. And sometimes those ideas lead to long-term projects. Look at my YouTube channel. How? My main channel, it's been 13 years. 13 years. Oh, you know, 13,000 videos, something like that. Not all of them are public. How? Well, because, because I'm obsessed. I want to, I want to bring more value. I want to create more content. I want to impact more entrepreneurs. It's a— how do you, how do you stay consistent on something? Because I want to do it. Because I'm obsessed about it. Because I feel like it's gonna matter. Even at the beginning when I had 25 subscribers in my first year and 7,000 subscribers after 5 years. Like, how do you keep going? Well, I was obsessed with trying to make content that I thought would help some people, and that's been a long-term obsession. There's some that are a lot shorter term. Um, I remember I was on writing my book, Your One Word, also Built to Serve. Both of my books were flowing through me, and there was every reason why why I shouldn't do it. Your One Word, I finished writing the book on my cruise. I was on vacation with my wife and we're enjoying our vacation and it was flowing through me like, I need to, I need to do this. And so while she slept, I, I wrote my book. And while she, uh, went to a show or, or did some something at the spa, I finished writing the book. We still did the excursions and saw the cities together, but The second part of the cruise, I was, I was just in— it was flowing through me. I have to get this thing done, otherwise I know I'm going to regret it. For Built to Serve, I wrote it when I was on my tour in 2019, and I did not have time to write a book. I did not have time. I mean, I was behind on everything. We're, we're traveling every 4 days to a new city. I'm presenting. It just— I did not have time to do this. I did not have time, and yet it was flowing through me, and like, I'm obsessed. I have to get this done. I have to, have to, have to, have to get this done. And with experience and age and time, I've learned to lean in on those things instead of judge them. Where typically what happens is you come with a great idea, you think it's great, like it has a lot of potential, and then you immediately judge it to say, well, I can't do that, I'm not worthy, I'm not good enough, I don't have the skills, I don't have the money, uh, why am I still spending all this time on thinking about some idea that, that I never do. We instantly judge it. And maybe you do a little bit of work on it, you start trying and you taste and you test and you explore a little bit. And then, and then what happens if you don't get immediate results? You wake up the next day or the next week or the next month and say, see, I knew you couldn't do it. You're crazy. Why would you think you could do this? And instantly we talk ourselves down from it. And what I've learned to try to do, and I'm still working on it is to listen to that intuition and listen to that gut. And, and it's right and it's noble, and great ideas flow through you, and stop judging them. And so the process I use is, one, that great ideas flow through me. So just believe the great ideas flow through you. This is how you eliminate the overthinking and, and your brain getting in the way. You come with a great idea, your brain gets in the way. How do you get out of that? Great ideas flow through you. Just trust a great idea. The fact that it came to you, as long as you're in a positive, optimistic energy, you know, serving state. If you're feeling jealous or rage or, you know, somebody cuts you off in line— I'm in my car right now, we're parked— but if somebody cuts you off and you're upset, maybe the idea that comes to you is not a good idea. But if you're feeling positive and encouraged and optimistic and serving and want to help and an idea comes to to you. Trust that great ideas flow through you. Just tell yourself, great ideas flow through me. And that at least gives me the courage to stop overthinking and start doing something. Step number 2 is just get started. Start. I call it the 2% difference. What's the first 2%? We waste our best energy on trying to plan out 100% of where this company or idea business is going to grow. That's not the way to do it. You'll never plan it out 100%. You have no idea what's going to happen with this thing. And so instead of spending your best energy— this is the problem— you spend your best energy. Oh, this could be like this. We could do that. Oh, here's how it could work out. Your energy where you feel confident and bold, you spend your best energy on research and planning instead of doing something. And research and planning are important, but it can't be the first step because you're again wasting your best energy. You wake up the next day, you feel like, oh, I can't do this. So instead, your best energy, the first step needs to be the first 2%. You're doing something. You're calling somebody, you're booking something, you're creating something. When I had an idea to start a podcast, I messaged my friend Marcus and said, we're gonna start a podcast. And he said, when? Tonight. What do you mean when? Tonight. When I'm back from my tour in a month and a half? No, we're starting it tonight. But we don't have the gear. What are we gonna talk about? And we'll figure it out. I'm gonna get back to— we're gonna drive to my Airbnb and we're gonna, we're gonna launch our podcast together tonight. Is It has to happen tonight or it's not going to happen, right? That, that becomes the process. Super important. And step number 3 is just expect to suck at the start. Expect to suck at the start. We expect to be great for whatever reason at the beginning of when we're doing our thing, right? We expect to be great. Don't expect to be great. Expect to suck. Expect the first thing to be terrible, for it not to work out. Cheers. It's not going to work out. Not as you plan. Not at the beginning. You don't get on the bike and just ride it. You don't make a video and just crush it, right? It doesn't mean that you suck as a person. You just don't have the skill set yet. And by practicing and trying and tasting and testing, you'll get a little bit better. And when you start something and you expect to be great and then you're not great, you quit. But when you start something and you expect it to be terrible, then anything above terrible is progress, is momentum, is a win. And celebrate that. Celebrate the fact that you took a step. Celebrate the fact that you recorded a video. Celebrate the fact that you wrote the first page in your book, celebrate the fact that you, you launched your first episode of a podcast, even though you don't know what questions to talk about, what questions to ask, the formatting, all of that stuff. That doesn't matter. You started momentum. You celebrate the momentum and expect the results to suck at the beginning. And if you keep going, you'll learn the skill to get better at the thing. So it's okay to be obsessed. It's okay. There's, there's a great idea inside inside you that you know you want to work on, that you know you need to do. Be obsessed on it. Start small. Create something right now. Apply the 2% difference. Trust the great ideas flow through you. Expect to suck at the beginning and make it, because otherwise you look back on your life at this moment and say, I could have done something back then, and I wish I had. Because you made it this far in the video, I want to celebrate you. Most people start and don't finish. Most people never actually follow through. Most people say they want something, but they don't ever do the work to actually get it. But you are different. You are special. Believe Nation, you made it here all the way to the end, and I love you. So it's a special celebration if you you put a hashtag #believe down in the comments below on this video, I will showcase you and celebrate you somewhere on the screen in a future video because you are awesome. For 10 more amazing rules from John Assaraf, check the video right there next to me. I think you'll love it. Continue to believe, and I'll see you there. A lot of athletes have this term around the A-game and showing up and doing their absolute best mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, etc. And it got me thinking about, do you even know what your A-game is?