THE SECRET to Using HATERS as Motivation | 9-Minute Wake-Up Call

Evan Carmichael, Eric Thomas, Grant Cardone, and Lilly Singh explain how to use criticism from haters as fuel for growth. Eric Thomas says to write down your haters and filter their feedback for useful truth. Grant Cardone argues that having haters proves you have impact: "If nobody hates you, nobody knows you."
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Rise and shine, it's espresso time! Good morning, Believe Nation, it's Evan Carmichael. My one word is believe, and I believe in you. I believe you have an amazing gift inside you that I want to see explode out into the world. So grab your coffee and sip on today's message: Don't dismiss your haters. Over to you, Eric Thomas. I wake up every morning, espresso keep me going.
I wake up every morning.
Anybody got any haters in the building? Let me see your hand real quick. Got any haters in the building? Let me just see your hand real quick.
Good.
Write some of them down, right? Just write the name or two down. I just said get it out your system, right? Just get it out your system. Look, people will hate on you. It's okay. As a matter of fact, I told y'all this before, like, do me a favor, do not dismiss your haters because sometimes iron sharpens iron. Like, sometimes you need a little pressure to get to that next level. So do me a favor, don't dismiss your haters. Some of the stuff they say is true. Like, don't dismiss all of it. Some of the stuff your haters say is true. Now let me tell you something, some of your haters are gonna give you a perspective that your mama not gonna give you, 'cause your mama, she gonna always tell you this. For real, most of y'all mamas, now some of us have different mamas, but most of our mamas are gonna tell us that, like, my mom not gonna do that, but I'm saying most mamas, they just gonna, you know, ah baby, you right. They're not gonna really chastise you. So you need your haters because your haters are gonna point out stuff, right? So we're not gonna dismiss our haters altogether. We're gonna listen to them. We're gonna hear what they're saying and we're gonna make sure that their perspective is not— their perspective is wrong or right. And we take the stuff that we can take. The stuff that we can't use, don't worry about it.
I think the most important thing here is the ability to be able to receive feedback that will help you grow and accomplish your mission and make you better. I think when the feedback is positive, it's easy to hear it. Whether it's our friends, whether it's our strangers, whether it's our customers, if it's positive feedback, we love it. It's easy to hear. We want to hear it all day long. On the negative side, that's when it becomes harder. And I want to increase your threshold for the type of negative feedback that you can handle. So as an example, what I mean by this, if your best friend is giving you feedback on ways that you could improve your idea, And to do that, they sugarcoat it. They tell you 90 great things about how amazing you are, and then they give you this one little tiny little bit of constructive feedback. And maybe you're willing to listen to your friend because you got it sugarcoated, you got all those great things that came before it. And you take that feedback and you grow. Awesome. How many people are gonna give you that amount of sugarcoating before giving you some critique? Not a lot. And if that's the only way that you're gonna be able to receive feedback, then you're only getting access to 5 or 10% of the possible feedback to make you better. That's not to say that every hater has something constructive to say. Some haters, they just like hating. Some haters hate because it's a reflection of themselves, because they're just not happy people. There is no message for you. But the key is to be able to take the sting out of the words the sting out of the emotion and listen to, is there something here that they're saying that I can actually improve my life with or my business with? Yes, the way they said it was terrible. Yes, they were incredibly rude. Yes, they were racist or they were sexist or they were going off on some really terrible tangent that affects you on a human level that is just wrong. But do they also have a shred of truth in what they're saying? Is there any possible thing that you can learn from them? And if you are clouded in the emotion of the words, then you won't hear the message and you won't grow. And so my point here is I want you to be able to receive all the feedback possible to increase your threshold of what you are able to take in, to receive, so that you don't need to have it always sugarcoated for you as the only way you'll receive the message. Because the more willing you are to accept feedback, the more feedback you're going to get and the faster you're going to grow. The point of feedback is to take it and make an improvement, to make your business better, to make your life better, make your relationships better. And so I don't love my haters. I don't, I don't thrive on fighting with my haters. What I love is feedback, and I love feedback from all sources. I love feedback that I get from my wife, which is always loving and supportive, and if she has constructive criticism She'll tell me, and she'll always tell me in a really loving way. I love feedback from my team who come with ideas and suggestions on how to make things better. I love feedback from you guys in the comments telling me ways that the videos can be better. And again, some of those are just all positive, and then here's a little hint of something that could be better. And sometimes you guys are yelling and negative and terrible, but there's still a shred of honesty and something that I can use to make the channel better. And so I don't love my haters. But I love feedback on how I can improve. So the question of the day today is, I'm curious, what is a lesson that you have learned from somebody who you hate? I think when you can get to that point, that's when you really start to grow. What is a lesson that you have learned to make yourself better from somebody that you hate? Leave it down in the comments below. I'm really curious to find out. So thank you guys again for watching. I believe in you. I hope you continue to believe in yourself and whatever your one word is. Much love, and I'll see you again tomorrow morning for another shot of espresso. I wake up every morning. Espresso keeps me going.
You got to get some haters. You need haters. No school is going to teach you how to get a hater. Okay? High school, elementary school, colleges, what do they teach? You want to be the most popular person.
No.
You want haters. Okay. The companies that are hated are the companies that are exploding. The people that are hated are the people that explode. If I don't hate you. If nobody hates you. Nobody knows you. So the reason I'll tweet. For instance, when we started. We had this, that newsletter that I sent out. Okay. We send it out every week. We were hitting people once a month and we started getting complaints. "You send stuff out too much." My office came to me. We went to twice a month. They came to me. "We have more people pulling off of the newsletter." Good. Double up again. Why? I want haters. Okay. So we start sending out one every week and then I started a Twitter account. I actually had people write, Grant Cardone, social media people, Grant Cardone is an example of what not to do with social media. I said, freaking, just multiply. Just increase it, okay? We were doing like 4 tweets a day, good, do 2 an hour. Why? Because I want my competition hating my guts. I want them talking about me. I mean, I don't really want people to hate me, you understand what I'm saying about? I want them so energized that they actually start pushing me. They start promoting me.
People don't want you to succeed.
Do you feel that? Yeah. Everywhere. It's everywhere. In every aspect. Do you get motivated by that?
Yeah.
No, fuck it. If you don't like me, that's cool. I got hella people that do. Yeah. And they love me and I love them and they're gonna take me and then we're gonna just—
On you.
In life, people will hate on what you do, and this is my take on it. It's not natural to be like, oh, I'm gonna go on this girl's video and write she's a whore. That's not a natural thing to do. The only reason someone would do that is because they're dealing with their own insecurities. Someone doesn't like something, they could easily ignore it. But when people feel the need to go out of their way and comment on Twitter, YouTube, and Facebook, this just means that they're just really freaking insecure. And if you do have haters, which inevitably everybody will have, handle it like a boss. At the end of the day, all the people that want to tweet their witty comments hate comments on Twitter, on Facebook, on YouTube, I'll never respond. Why? Because you're still watching what I'm doing. You're commenting underneath my video, giving me a view. Who's really winning? Even under this video, someone will write a hate comment. Many people will. Why? Because they're mad at what I'm saying right now, and they're mad that I'm calling them out. They feel bad about themselves, and they wish they could wear a winter hat in the middle of summer, and they wish they had, you know, this friggin'— where is it— pimple right here. They wish they did. They— you wish you did. You have a hater that's super annoying and is like— and you have a hater that's super annoying and like just keeps bothering you, just agree with them and tell them to shut the fuck up. Dude, how did you know I'm more— how did you know? How could I not have noticed that I'm black? I feel so stupid. I can't believe you knew I was black and I didn't. Oh my god, you're right, I do eat curry and I am smelly. I'm gonna go take a shower and Febreze.
Let me give you the one word secret to happiness. One word. This is all you need to be happy. It's the most important word ever.
If you had to think of one word that's most important to you or that sums you up or that would be kind of like a little beacon. Hey, Believe Nation, if you want to know what the most important one word is for Tony Robbins, Gary Vaynerchuk, Oprah Winfrey, will.i.am, and Howard Schultz, I have a very special secret video for you. Check the description for details.
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